1 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:05,240 {\an8}This programme contains strong language and discriminatory language 2 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:07,400 {\an8}You got it?Yep. Sure you're OK there? It's quite heavy.I'm fine. 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,160 Listen, I'm just thinking... 4 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:11,200 ..shall we get the Christmas tree down while I'm up here? 5 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,040 Yes, all right, I suppose we could. 6 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,800 Right, I'll pass it down to you. 7 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,560 Ready?Give me a minute! 8 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:21,920 Just watch yourself with it. 9 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,920 Yes, all right, Eric, I'm not totally useless. 10 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,200 Everything OK? 11 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,360 Yep, all fine. 12 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,200 {\an8}Do you not think it's a bit early to put it up? 13 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,800 {\an8}I mean, it's not even December yet. 14 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,680 {\an8}Pfft, it's fine. Who's going to notice? 15 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,240 {\an8}KNOCKING 16 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,960 Christine. That's me definitely going. 17 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,080 Going where? 18 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,120 To Ireland. 19 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:12,000 For God's sake, Beth, do you not listen to a thing I tell you? 20 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,320 Of course I do. We're in the middle of a big clear out 21 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:15,880 and I'm just a wee bit busy. 22 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,320 Right, OK, I'll come in and I'll talk you through the arrangements. 23 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:21,000 But I cannot stay long. 24 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:23,400 Right. 25 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,280 Are you putting your Christmas tree up? 26 00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:29,760 It's a bit early, is it no? 27 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,440 Yes, well, we were up in the loft anyway, 28 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:35,520 so we just thought we might as well. 29 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,320 Oh, you see, I always follow what the church does, 30 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,840 and they put it up 12 days before. 31 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,920 No, you're thinking of Twelfth Night. 32 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,560 That's when you take it down. 33 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:49,440 Yes, a church puts theirs up on the first Sunday of December. 34 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:50,880 Do they? Mm. 35 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,640 Well, that's awful early. 36 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,120 I think I'll have to have a word with Father Haggarty about that. 37 00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:00,080 I don't think it was ever up that early in Father Kowalski's day. 38 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,280 But he really was a religious man. 39 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:04,600 Where is it he is now? 40 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,560 B&Q, Nitshill. Ah. 41 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,320 But I don't think I'll bother putting up a tree this year, 42 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,760 what with me not being here. What's this? 43 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,240 I'm going to visit my cousin Dearbhla in Ireland 44 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,760 for Christmas, Eric. 45 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,320 Oh, it's fantastic, Christine. 46 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,000 Oh, I know, Beth. 47 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:25,080 And to think, if Dearbhla hadn't sent that saliva sample off 48 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:29,400 to Ancestry.com we might never have known that we were related. 49 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,800 Imagine if she'd had a dry mooth that day. 50 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,160 Er, whereabouts are they? 51 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,280 County Galway, Eric. Oh. 52 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,880 I get the train to Stranraer, a ferry to Larne, 53 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:45,920 a bus into Belfast and then coach down to Galway. 54 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,880 Oh! A bit of a trek, that! 55 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,280 So, er, will it be Dearbhla's whole family? 56 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,400 Oh, yes. 57 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,760 Her husband, Eoin, now he's got his own plumbing business, 58 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,840 so I will be looking forward to a bath. 59 00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,880 That's definitely on the list. 60 00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:03,080 And then there's her twin girls, Maeve and Aoife. 61 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:07,400 Aw. It'll be nice to meet them because they're actually my... 62 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,600 What is it? My first cousins. 63 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,640 No, no, no, second. 64 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,320 Oh, aye, I'm forgetting they're twins. 65 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,960 Well, you'll have a great time, I'm sure. 66 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,480 Oh, I hope so, Eric. 67 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,480 I must say, I am looking forward to it. 68 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:26,640 Although it will be strange not being at home on Christmas Day. 69 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:31,240 Oh. I know you're always keen to have me in here, Beth, 70 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:35,120 so I do feel a bit guilty that I might be letting you down. 71 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,600 Are you sure you're OK with me going? 72 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,320 You're all right... We'll be fine! 73 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,520 Well, I think it's time we get down to discussing what bag 74 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:43,640 I'm taking, eh? 75 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:46,360 Ah, well, the thing is, Christine... DOORBELL RINGS 76 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,720 Ah, who's this interrupting us? 77 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,400 That's no you got your Christmas tree up already, is it, Beth? 78 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,360 Beth!Well, uh-huh... 79 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,080 It's a bit early, is it not? Mm.Well, we were up in the loft... 80 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,120 Do you know? Just let her do it, Col, 81 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,400 it'll brighten up that dingy front room. 82 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:07,560 I suppose so. 83 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,160 It's OK, Beth, that's fine. 84 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,520 If it gives you something to look forward to, that's OK. 85 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,480 Should we go in and see it? Oh.... 86 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,520 She'll be put out if we don't. You know what she's like. 87 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,200 Right, we'll just come in for a minute and see it, Beth. 88 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:25,800 Apparently, the cooked breakfasts onboard 89 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,320 the Stena Line are excellent. 90 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,440 Ah.Irene up the high flats told me, 91 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:35,760 they serve a black pudding that is technically illegal on dry land. 92 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,680 Ah, here he is - wee elf here, helping you put your tree up, Beth. 93 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,480 He's far too big for an elf, Col. 94 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,000 Oh, and there's Christine... Ah.How are you doing? 95 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,680 Oh, no bad, Colin. 96 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,160 That is me all booked up for Ireland for Christmas. 97 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,640 You're going to Ireland for Christmas, are you? 98 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,480 Oh, yes, I'm staying with my cousin, Dearbhla in Galway. 99 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:02,000 Oh, that's nice, you're not going to be here, Christine. 100 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,800 You'll be having a bit of the black stuff over there, eh? 101 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,640 Remember, we went to the Guinness factory 102 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,080 when we were in Dublin, Cath? 103 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,040 Oh, God, that place? Oh, I will not be going back there. 104 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,440 Oh, why not? 105 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,400 Only serves fucking Guinness. 106 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,080 So is this you getting all set for Christmas, then? 107 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,480 What's the plans? 108 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:20,240 Ah, well, nothing special. 109 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:23,560 It's just the two of us, so just, you know, traditional. 110 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:24,920 Traditional? 111 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,440 Well, you've no made a very good start putting your tree up 112 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,440 this fucking early. 113 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,400 And what about you two? Do you know what you're doing? 114 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,040 We're going to that same hotel again on Christmas Day 115 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:35,840 because we quite like it, don't we? 116 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,280 It's really festive how they decorate it all. 117 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,520 And you get steak instead of turkey, 118 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,840 a cocktail instead of Christmas pudding, 119 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:46,360 and there's a massive smoking section out by the nativity. 120 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,480 The problem we've got is we don't know what presents to get. 121 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,680 Well, I'm fine just with money. 122 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,280 No. I mean for each other. 123 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,240 Yeah, we're not getting you anything, Eric. 124 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,440 You see, we've already got everything, haven't we? 125 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,520 Mm.Oh, poor you, right enough. 126 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,440 I always get Colin pants for Christmas 127 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,760 but I can't get any more in the drawer.No. 128 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,920 And you can't exactly take the old ones to the charity shop, can you? 129 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,880 No, they don't take them. 130 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,640 Well, certainly the British Heart Foundation don't, 131 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,880 though Irene did tell me about a website 132 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,520 where there seems to be quite a lot of interest. 133 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,480 We were just going up to the charity shop 134 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:22,880 once we'd finished the tree. 135 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,760 Are you getting yourself something, Beth? 136 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,840 Well, it is finished, really, apart from turning on the lights. 137 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:31,560 OK, then, let's see the big switch on. 138 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,960 Come on, Eric, up off your fat arse. 139 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:40,240 Here, Beth, this reminds me of that time we saw Marti Pellow 140 00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:43,040 switch on the lights in Clydebank. Do you remember that, Beth? 141 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,320 I do. 142 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,520 I'm no actually sure whether he was on the heroin at that point 143 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:50,080 because we were quite far back, you know. 144 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,480 Right, are we all ready? 145 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,800 Aye. Yeah. Aye, go on. Come on, Eric! 146 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,200 Oh...Oh. 147 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,240 Ah, well, you know, you could always stop by the dump as well. 148 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,400 I don't know how much longer I'm going to manage 149 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,080 getting in and out of this seat, Alan. 150 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,720 You want to start getting in the back? 151 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,760 No, I mean you might need to get a car 152 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:19,720 or get on my insurance or something. 153 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,200 Oh, aye, right, right. 154 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,920 I'm really starting to struggle on the stairs as well. 155 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,640 You maybe chucked the gym too soon. 156 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:33,240 Look! Beth's got her Christmas tree up. 157 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:34,400 Do you think we should go over 158 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:36,120 and say a wee quick hello and see it? 159 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,000 Nah. 160 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,640 We've got a nice picture of us in front of the Oscar Wilde statue 161 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,720 in Dublin, haven't we? Aye. 162 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,560 Oh, you know, my favourite quote of his is 163 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,800 is when he was going through customs in America and he said, 164 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,840 "I have nothing to declare but my genius." 165 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,960 Well, I preferred the statue of Molly Malone. 166 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,360 You go up, rub her tits, brings you luck. 167 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,000 Oh, for God's sake. 168 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,320 I did as well. 169 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:08,520 We went to Temple Bar after that, we didn't get hassled by one beggar. 170 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:09,720 Mm. 171 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,240 DOORBELL RINGS 172 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,360 I'll go. 173 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,400 Oh, hello, you two! 174 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,120 Or should that be two and a half? 175 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,040 She's some size now, in't she, Eric? 176 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:29,280 Train to Stranraer, ferry to Larne, bus to Belfast, coach to Galway. 177 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:32,760 Oh, my God, I'd need a flight to Switzerland after that. 178 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,920 That's a proper Irish road trip, that. 179 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,360 It is, Colin. 180 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:40,120 But, do you know, I now feel I've got a really deep connection 181 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:44,600 to Ireland, now that I know for sure that I've got Irish blood in me. 182 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,960 If you're going to Galway, would you no be better flying to Shannon? 183 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,440 Where's that? 184 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,920 Oh! Hi, Michelle. Hi, Alan. 185 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,120 Hi! 186 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,640 Hello, everyone. 187 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:57,680 Sorry to just appear at your door, Beth. 188 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,520 Oh, don't worry about that, no-one else does. 189 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,680 How are you, Michelle? 190 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,680 Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just so tired all the time. 191 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,640 Oh, yeah, you do look really knackered. 192 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,960 Come and sit down, Michelle. 193 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,600 Come on.Yeah, there we go. 194 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,120 Sit down there. How's you, Alan, eh? Everything all right? 195 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:21,160 Aye, all right. Just back from the garage with the van. 196 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,080 Oh, no, something wrong with it? 197 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,440 Somebody ran into the back of me, Eric. Oh... 198 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,040 Oh, my God, what happened? 199 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,600 Were you eating a sausage roll while you were driving, Alan? 200 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,040 No, I was coming off the motorway to go through the tunnel 201 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:35,080 and there was a wee jam, so I had to slow right down. 202 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,680 Next thing I know, somebody's ran into the back of me. 203 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:40,680 Oh!And they'd be on their phone, no doubt. 204 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,160 Aye. And see the force of it, 205 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,560 mine's flew right out my hand, under the seat. 206 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,400 They took their time fixing it at the garage, didn't they? Mm. 207 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,040 Alan was late picking me up from antenatal class. 208 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,240 Oh, no. 209 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,680 Ah, it's fine, Beth, you cannae see the dent at all. 210 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,120 So, anyway, how are you guys doing? How's Ian? 211 00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,840 Oh, he's fine, aye. 212 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,960 He's coming over to have a look through his old stuff 213 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,120 before we junk it. 214 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,680 Are you trying to get rid of every trace of him, Eric? 215 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,080 Have you any baby stuff, Eric? 216 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,440 Because maybe Alan and Michelle might want that. 217 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:14,320 I remember she used to have him in a lot of brown, Michelle. 218 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:18,640 Eric, it's fine. I've ordered loads of stuff already, actually. 219 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:22,600 You know, all the wee babygrows and the jammies and the wee onesies. 220 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,120 They're just all so cute, aren't they? 221 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,720 Oh, they are, Michelle. 222 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,560 Well, until they soil them. 223 00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:32,120 Have you made any decisions on names, Michelle? 224 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:36,400 No, because we still can't seem to agree on anything, can we? 225 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:40,280 But if it's a boy, I like the name Lewis. 226 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,920 Good Scottish name, that. 227 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,000 Do you no think it sounds a bit like "loos", though, Eric? 228 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,920 And are you definitely sure you don't want to find out 229 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,800 what you're having, Michelle? 230 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,720 I mean, that would make it a bit easier. 231 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,920 No, I just don't want to know. 232 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,240 No, I'm not that interested either, Michelle. 233 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,440 Can I get you a tea or a glass of water or something? 234 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:05,040 I'd take a water off you if it's not too much trouble, Beth? 235 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,960 Er, what about the rest of us, Beth? 236 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,800 Aye, here, have you got any mince pies? 237 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,600 A wee cup of tea and a mince pie, that'd be nice. Mm. 238 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,040 Well, the thing is... Oh, aye, a tea and a mince pie, 239 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:17,080 I wouldnae say no! Eh, first of the season. 240 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,120 Aw, I fucking hate mince pies. 241 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,120 Have you got the ones with the brandy in them, Beth? 242 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,960 Oh, I'd take one of them, though. 243 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,880 No, you see... You know, I love the ones 244 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,280 with all the cream on the top. Oh, have you tried them? 245 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,080 Oh, I like the sound of them. 246 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,680 Have you got any of them, Beth? 247 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,160 I haven't got any mince pies. 248 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,960 Oh...Aw! 249 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,840 You cannae invite us all in here, saying it's the start of Christmas 250 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,320 and not have any Christmas stuff in for us. 251 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,680 We didn't do that! 252 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:46,400 You've got your tree up, Eric - that sends a message. 253 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,160 It's like the swingers with the pampas grass. 254 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,320 Yes, Eric, shut your face. 255 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,440 Is that really a thing, that, the pampas grass? 256 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,640 I thought it was just like one of those things folks say. 257 00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:57,600 Oh, no, no, no, no. There's a couple round the new-builds that had it 258 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,320 and they were very, very active... 259 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,000 ..apparently. 260 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,560 Beth, don't worry about the water, actually, I'm fine. 261 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,200 Aye, and it makes the baby kick, then she goes on about it. 262 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:10,200 Don't be daft, of course I'll get you a glass of water. 263 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,880 And I'm happy to do teas and coffees for anyone who's wanting, 264 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,080 I just don't have any mince pies. 265 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:20,200 I mean, we were just clearing out the loft, 266 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,840 not declaring that it was officially Christmas. 267 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,600 I mean, I'd like to have the power to do that, 268 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,560 but I'm afraid I don't, OK? 269 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:32,520 Beth? 270 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:37,320 You don't even have a wee tub of Celebrations or nothing, no? 271 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:45,840 DOORBELL RINGS 272 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,640 A bit early with the tree, are you not? 273 00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,960 What is it, just feeling Christmassy? 274 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,240 I wish we'd never bothered, to be honest. 275 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:06,040 Quality Street is what I used to get when it was just Sophie 276 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,640 and me, you know? 277 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:11,680 Oh, the green ones were my favourite. I used to love them. 278 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,080 Aw, and what about Sophie? What ones were hers? 279 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,200 All the other ones. 280 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,080 Oh, right, not like you to have a houseful. 281 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,880 Hi, son.Hi, Ian. 282 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,800 Hiya, Dad. Hi, Colin. Hi, Cathy. 283 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,800 How are you doing, Ian? Och, I'm fine. 284 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,120 How are you guys? Everything OK? 285 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,080 Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just feeling... No really, Ian. 286 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,880 Somebody went into the back of my van. 287 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,840 Oh, no. I know. I just got it back today. 288 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,840 You weren't in it at the time, were you? No. 289 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:36,880 Oh, well, could've been worse. Well, you're saying that, 290 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,080 but that was two full days it was aff the road. 291 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,680 Anyway, how are you doing, Ian? How's Gordon? 292 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,360 Aye, he's good, he's coming over here to meet me after college. 293 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:47,800 Oh, is he still enjoying it? 294 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,240 Oh, aye, he's loving it. 295 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,120 I'm not loving being the only one earning, though. 296 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,920 Oh... And you'll be on a very poor wage as it is, Ian. 297 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,320 What did he pack his job in for anyway, Ian? 298 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,640 Och, basically he just wasn't happy. 299 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:04,080 Oh, you see, this is the new thing, isn't it? 300 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:07,480 You don't like something, you just stop doing it. 301 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:11,560 Never used to be like that. No, you just kept going, that was your lot, 302 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,640 you just had to accept it. 303 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,320 Like you with Eric, Beth. 304 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,680 Right, listen, you want to look through this stuff 305 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,360 from the loft before we throw it out? 306 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,120 Oh, right, now? Oh... 307 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,000 OK, where is it? I'll go get it. 308 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,640 So, what are you and Gordon up to for Christmas, then? 309 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:29,440 Oh, just having a quiet one, to be honest. 310 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,080 We did invite them but they said no. 311 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,040 Och, Gordon's got an assignment to do over the holidays, 312 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,120 sort of taking over everything at the minute. 313 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:38,000 What's it on? That's the thing, he can't make up his mind. 314 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,640 Do you think he's quite a weak person, Ian? 315 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,400 We got rid of a lot of other stuff, 316 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,280 but we weren't sure whether you'd want to keep any of this. 317 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,560 God, my old laptop. 318 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,200 I remember the year you got me this. 319 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,480 I remember going to Curry's out at Renfrew to get it. 320 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,120 Oh, that is a nice store, that. 321 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:03,120 Me and Pat went there to get Sophie her Gameboy. 322 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,960 That was the big present that year. 323 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,120 And did you get her one? 324 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:10,880 No, they were sold out so I just got her a LadyShave instead. 325 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:14,720 And if I remember right, I think Pat got some Hoover bags. 326 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:17,840 God, I can remember taking the wrapping off it. 327 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,280 And then straight upstairs and onto the porn, eh, Ian? 328 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,640 Ian, gay porn on Christmas Day. 329 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,440 We didn't want to just throw it out. 330 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,520 No, no, no, listen, he could have some good stuff on it, Eric. 331 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,800 Look, I'll take this but you can get rid of the rest. 332 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,080 Oh, are you sure? 333 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,880 That hat and scarf set was a present as well, 334 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,840 and I don't think you've ever worn them. 335 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:44,000 Ian!He was always a very ungrateful wee boy, Michelle. 336 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,520 I remember I gave him a banana once 337 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,440 and he just threw it behind the hut. 338 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,720 You'll need to get your mum something decent for that 339 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:54,720 this year, Ian, to make up for that. 340 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,320 Just get her a bottle of rose, Ian. That's what we do, 341 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,520 and she always seems genuinely quite happy. 342 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,560 Sorry, Mum, I'll take those as well. 343 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,360 Oh, well, if you're sure. 344 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,640 And if you don't like them, maybe Gordon will. 345 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,720 Yeah, he's got no fashion sense at all, Ian. 346 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:15,040 I still don't understand how he's starting college at his age. 347 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,040 I mean, is he no too old? 348 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,680 He's a mature student. 349 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,480 Yeah, exactly, he's a mature student. 350 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,760 HUMMING 351 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,400 Hello, how's it going? 352 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:33,320 Are we going just now or am I coming in? 353 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,240 Oh, I'm coming in, aren't I? Righto. 354 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:41,400 I get the train to Stranraer, ferry to Larne, bus to Belfast, 355 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,920 coach down to Galway. 356 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,800 Pfft, well, that's a hoor of a trip, that. 357 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:49,480 Alan. It's a fair way, Alan, but when it is family, 358 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,120 it is worth all the effort. 359 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,440 Quite right. And, you know, you'll be like Santa 360 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,800 coming down from the North Pole with your big sack of Christmas presents. 361 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,040 I'll no need to buy them all presents, will I? 362 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,520 Hi, Gordon. Oh, hiya, Gordon. Hi, hi. 363 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,480 Gordon, what's that you've got on your head? 364 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,560 Oh, it's my helmet. I came on my scooter. 365 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,560 You came here by scooter? Um, yeah. 366 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,680 It'll be one of those e-scooters. Ooh! 367 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:17,840 I quite fancy one myself. 368 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,800 Is it an e-scooter you've got, Gordon? 369 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,040 No, it's just a regular one. 370 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:23,800 Aw. Oh. 371 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,880 Gordon, come here a minute. Come here. 372 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,280 That's you. It was, er, sticking up a bit. 373 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,000 So how's your course going, Gordon? 374 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,600 Yeah, good, yeah. 375 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,320 What is it you're studying again? 376 00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:42,800 Sociology and literature. 377 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,920 Oh, right, you not bothered about getting a job after, are you? 378 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,160 Ian says you've got an assignment to do? 379 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,440 Oh, yeah. I haven't made up my mind what to do it on yet. 380 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,800 It's meant to be something on cultural change, 381 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,320 but it's such a big subject. 382 00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:57,760 Oh, God, yeah. 383 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,720 What about Emmerdale going onto YouTube? 384 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,160 I don't think that's the sort of thing Gordon's 385 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,880 studying on his course, Christine. 386 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,520 So it's literature you're doing, is it? 387 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,520 I'll tell you a good book - what's that one I read on holiday? 388 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:15,280 Oh, fuck that, you wouldn't put that down. He was reading it in bed! 389 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,120 I know, I got right into it, so I did. 390 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,680 I know what it was. It was Duncan Bannatyne's autobiography. 391 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,000 Have you read that, Gordon? 392 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:26,000 Er, no. What about Maeve Binchy? You read any of hers? 393 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,720 All set in Ireland. 394 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:31,160 They'll no be doing Maeve Binchy books on a literature course. 395 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,640 Why not? There's fucking tonnes of them. 396 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,080 Er, I see you've got your Christmas tree up, Mrs Baird. 397 00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,440 Well... It's awful early, is it not, Gordon? 398 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,040 You've no got yours up, have you? 399 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,480 Well, no, but... 400 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,040 Yeah, it's also shit. 401 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,040 Look at the state of it! 402 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,400 Oh, it'll look great when you've got the rest of the decorations up. 403 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,680 You're not saying this is it, are you? 404 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,360 Well, we were having a clear out 405 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,120 and there was decorations there that we'd had for years and... 406 00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,880 They were a bit tatty. 407 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:02,600 Erm, if you throw out everything tatty, 408 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,440 you're not going to have anything left. 409 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,440 Aw, Beth, we've got absolutely loads of Christmas decorations 410 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,000 if you want some. Haven't we, Alan? 411 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,920 Aye, she cannae go past them in the shop without buying them. 412 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,520 It's the same with toilet rolls. We've got hundreds of them. 413 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,760 Ah, no, that's very kind, Michelle. 414 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,760 Look, we've got piles of old ones as well. 415 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,960 Aye. You could always have mine, Beth, 416 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,960 since I'm going to be in Ireland. 417 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,760 Alan, away you go and get some for Beth and Eric. 418 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,040 Michelle, no, we... 419 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,880 Aw, honestly, Eric, it's fine, we've got way more 420 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,760 than we've got room to put up, so... 421 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,560 Come on, Eric, it's fucking miserable in here. 422 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,880 Are we ready? Yes, come on. 423 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:50,400 Yay.Aw. Woo. 424 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,640 That's proper Christmassy now, isn't it? 425 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,240 Well, not till we get a bottle open! 426 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,120 What about you, boys? Oh, shh! I won't tell anyone 427 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,600 you're driving your scooter drunk, Gordon. 428 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,040 SHE REVS 429 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,760 Yeah, I'll take one, if that's OK with you, Michelle. 430 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:12,320 Aw, yeah, you guys go ahead. I'll just stick to my water. 431 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:14,160 Did you not realise that being pregnant was going 432 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,120 to be really boring, Michelle? 433 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,840 Is it OK if I have a lager? 434 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,680 Of course it is, Alan. 435 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,040 Are you just saying that now and you'll give me a row later, 436 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,240 or do you really mean it? 437 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,680 I think I've got a bottle of fizz in the fridge. 438 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:29,880 Woo! 439 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,440 You know when I think it feels like Christmas is coming - 440 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,560 when you hear the Christmas songs on the radio. 441 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,880 Yeah, I love Christmas songs. 442 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,160 Hey, Eric, have you got that Christmas album? 443 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,520 Aye, I think I do. 444 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,720 Aye, as long as you havenae thrown it out. 445 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,880 Yes, Eric, you big stupid donkey. 446 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,120 So when is it you're off to Ireland, Christine? 447 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,240 Oh, not until the 21st, Michelle. 448 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,440 Oh, God, it's just so exciting. 449 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,280 You're going to have such a brilliant time. 450 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,720 We loved Dublin, didn't we? 451 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,280 Aye, we were saying earlier, Alan, that the Guinness that you get 452 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,000 in the Guinness factory isn't like anywhere else. 453 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,720 Aye, it's 20 fucking Euro. 454 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,680 MUSIC: Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney 455 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,440 Aw! 456 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,280 Hey!Oh! 457 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,200 Right, everyone want one? 458 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:15,200 Please. 459 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:17,520 Thank you. 460 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:18,800 Sorry, Michelle. 461 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:21,800 Oh, Beth, don't worry, I'm fine. I like my water. 462 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:22,960 It's all right, Michelle. 463 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,120 You can get pissed again once the baby's here. 464 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,720 Well, this is a bit more like it, eh? Cheers, everybody. 465 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,160 Cheers!Cheers! 466 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:36,280 Here, Beth, could you go and get me that wee glass that I like? 467 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,240 I don't like the way this one feels in my hand. 468 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:40,240 Oh, for... 469 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:46,800 Thanks. Here, I hope you won't be so fussy over in Ireland, Christine, 470 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:48,320 or they'll send you back. 471 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,240 Dad, stick it on to the next song. 472 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,840 I can't be bothered with this one, it goes on for ages. 473 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,000 MUSIC: I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday by Wizzard 474 00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,120 Oh, no, no, no, Col. No, no, no, I hate this one. Get it off. 475 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,400 She hates this. 476 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:03,880 Why do you not like it, Cathy? 477 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,320 I don't like the sound of children singing, Gordon. 478 00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,080 MUSIC: Merry Xmas Everybody by Slade 479 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:11,040 Now this, this is a classic. 480 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,240 Oh, does this one no do your head in? 481 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:14,360 What, do you not like it, Alan? 482 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,400 Och, it's all right but you hear it everywhere you go, don't you? 483 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,200 It is a bit ubiquitous, yes. 484 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,320 I'll tell you one that you hear everywhere - Band Aid. 485 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:27,120 Oh, it was amazing what they did with that. 486 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,840 Yes. Mm-mm. 487 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:32,320 Although, there is a bit of a backlash against it now. 488 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:33,800 Against Band Aid? 489 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,240 Is it because Bono's a wank? Alan! 490 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:39,240 Well, he is but.It's just they think it may be did more harm 491 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,640 than good, because it made people feel they'd solved the problem 492 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,800 of global inequality when, in actual fact, 493 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:47,440 it's worsened with the impact of climate change. 494 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:51,320 Plus there's the whole white saviour thing, which is quite toxic as well. 495 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,120 Oh... 496 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,000 I didn't realise it was so controversial. 497 00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:00,040 Well, it's an interesting debate. I personally think that... 498 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,120 MUSIC: Fairytale Of New York by The Pogues 499 00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,160 This is the best one ever. 500 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,640 Oh, I do like this. 501 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,400 What is it?The Pogues. 502 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,160 Mm?Shane MacGowan. 503 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,760 Always pissed? Oh, him, yes. 504 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,640 Here's a couple of names for you, Michelle. 505 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:17,040 What? Well, Shane for a boy or Kirsty for a girl. 506 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:21,280 Oh, a good Irish name, that, Michelle - Shane. 507 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,800 Actually, I quite like those. 508 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,440 Oh, aye, wee Shane Edgar. 509 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,880 It sounds good, din't it? Or Kirsty. 510 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,480 Aye, that's all right and all. 511 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,680 Here, Christine, this is the one where the choir's singing 512 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,440 Galway Bay - that's where you'll be at Christmas. 513 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,720 Oh, here, so it is. 514 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,920 Christine, it's just going to feel really weird 515 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,520 you being away at your cousin's for Christmas. 516 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:47,440 Beth? 517 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,760 Do you think it's going to be OK? 518 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,400 What do you mean? Well, me going to Dearbhla's. 519 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:03,440 Because, well, it's just I know that sometimes I can be 520 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,560 a wee bit demanding. Oh, Christine... 521 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,960 But what if they end up wishing they'd never made contact with me 522 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,920 and cannae wait to see the back of me? 523 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,360 You're going to have a wonderful time. 524 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,600 Christmas is for families, and they're your family. 525 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,680 They're going to be thrilled you're there. 526 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,480 Do you think so? Yes. 527 00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:29,600 Here, Beth, you know how I'm getting the train to Stranraer 528 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,000 and then getting the ferry... 529 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,440 Yes - train to Stranraer, ferry to Larne, 530 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,280 bus to Belfast and coach to Galway. 531 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:41,000 Are you OK to give me a lift into the station? 532 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,240 Yes. 533 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,840 Are you OK there, Gordon? Any problem with this song? 534 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,360 Well, it depends which version it is. What? 535 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:52,160 Well, there's a word in the song that's quite offensive, so... 536 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,880 What word?Well, I don't really want to say it. 537 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:56,240 I think I know what it is. 538 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,000 What is it, Beth?Is it scumbag? 539 00:24:58,040 --> 00:24:59,480 What is wrong with scumbag? 540 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,840 It rhymes with maggot... 541 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,400 It rhymes with maggot? 542 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,520 Maybe just forward it on to the next one. 543 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,240 What rhymes with maggot? 544 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,320 I know, I know! 545 00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:12,120 What is it? It begins with an F, Christine. 546 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,560 Fuckwit? 547 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,040 Look, maybe just put it off, Dad. 548 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:19,080 What is it? 549 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:23,920 What's wrong with that? 550 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,800 It's quite offensive, especially to gay people. 551 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:30,160 I thought it was "poofter" was the one that yous didnae like. 552 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:32,720 Och, it's getting to the point you cannae say anything 553 00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,200 without offending someone. 554 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:35,520 Oh, here we go. 555 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:36,840 Well, it's ridiculous. 556 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,400 I mean, you cannae even have a bit of homophobic swearing 557 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:40,920 in a Christmas song any more. 558 00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,800 I think it's more we're just becoming more aware 559 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,560 of how the things we say impact on other people, 560 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,480 and a recognition that some terms that were once in common usage 561 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,440 were, in fact, offensive, frankly. 562 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:56,160 We should probably make a move. 563 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,560 What other words can we not say, Gordon? 564 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,120 Well, it's not up to me. 565 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,000 What about fanny? 566 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,920 If someone was to call you a silly fanny, 567 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,280 would you be offended by that? 568 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:08,920 Cathy. Well, I wouldn't really be offended, but, I mean, 569 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,160 if we're going to get into it, I don't really think anyone 570 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,600 should be using a female body part as an insult. 571 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,560 Does that mean that you cannae say cu...?Christine! 572 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,480 What about dick? Can you still call someone a dick? 573 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:20,680 That's less bad. 574 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,400 Oh, thank God for that. 575 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:23,880 I say dick quite a lot, don't I? 576 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,000 Uh-huh. Aye, me as well, Alan. Aye. 577 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,440 Why is dick not as bad, Gordon? 578 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,720 Well, it's that men have, historically, 579 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:32,280 been the dominant gender so the... 580 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:33,960 What about wanker, Gordon? 581 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,680 Because technically that's either, isn't it? 582 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,560 Arsehole? You know, we've all got one of those. 583 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,720 And where would the gays be withoot them? Oh, for... 584 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,360 I really think we should head... 585 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:46,600 You know what I think, Gordon? 586 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:47,840 What?! 587 00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:53,680 I think you should do your assignment on all of this. 588 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,520 Language and all that, how it's changed. 589 00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,440 You really know what you're talking about. 590 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:00,960 Well, I don't think that's... 591 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:04,280 I can't really see how that would... 592 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:09,480 Actually, that's a really good idea. 593 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,440 Don't forget your hat and scarf. 594 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,320 Ah, yeah, see about that... 595 00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:21,640 Do you mind if we don't do presents this year? 596 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:22,960 Oh, right. 597 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:27,280 Yeah, it's just we're a bit skint this year with me being at college. 598 00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,840 Is that why you're not coming over on Christmas Day? 599 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,360 Kind of, yeah. 600 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:37,040 Do not worry about presents but come over for dinner, 601 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,120 we'd love to have you. 602 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,240 Right, OK. 603 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:42,720 Thank you. Cheers, Mum. 604 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,240 Erm, no hugs for me, Gordon? 605 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:52,520 Oh! 606 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,040 That's a nice kiss for you as well. 607 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:01,480 Bye, Ian. 608 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,880 Oh, is that your scooter, Gordon? 609 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,320 Yeah. Ooh! I wonder if Col would like one of those? 610 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,440 Oh, my God, I could get him one for his Christmas. 611 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:22,040 Col! Col! Come and get a look at Gordon's scooter! 612 00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:23,400 What's happening? 613 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:27,000 I think Colin's going to have a go on Gordon's scooter. 614 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,360 Oh, I'd quite like to see that. 615 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,720 I haven't been on one of these for years. 616 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:35,120 Go on, Col. 617 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:36,680 HE GIGGLES 618 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:38,040 Whee! 619 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:39,320 Woo! 620 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,080 Oh! 621 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,160 CRASHING Oh! 622 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,840 Oh, my fucking van! 623 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:55,840 # The boys of the NYPD choir still singing Galway Bay 624 00:28:55,880 --> 00:29:00,480 # And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day. #