1 00:00:06,466 --> 00:00:08,843 Is he normally this sweaty? 2 00:00:08,927 --> 00:00:11,054 I don't think it's normal for anyone 3 00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:12,264 -to be this sweaty. -Hmm. 4 00:00:12,347 --> 00:00:14,266 Ah. 5 00:00:14,349 --> 00:00:16,017 Okay. 6 00:00:16,101 --> 00:00:18,103 First off, I had zero knowledge 7 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,063 of what was going on with your parents' finances. 8 00:00:20,146 --> 00:00:21,147 Aren't you their money manager? 9 00:00:21,231 --> 00:00:23,942 I know, right? I mean, it doesn't feel great to be left out. 10 00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:25,235 It didn't help that I found out 11 00:00:25,318 --> 00:00:29,072 about the fiasco from the NY Insider column at my therapist's office. 12 00:00:29,155 --> 00:00:30,615 (GASPS) What? 13 00:00:30,699 --> 00:00:33,118 Oliver Fishburn did a piece on Mom and Dad? 14 00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:34,661 Who's Oliver Fishburn? 15 00:00:34,744 --> 00:00:37,247 He's only the biggest gossip columnist in New York. 16 00:00:37,330 --> 00:00:38,873 The man feasts on the elite. 17 00:00:38,957 --> 00:00:41,042 If I were you, I would take this opportunity 18 00:00:41,126 --> 00:00:44,296 to lay low and cut back on unnecessary expenses. 19 00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:45,672 You know what we should do? We should march straight 20 00:00:45,755 --> 00:00:47,090 to the club and confront him. 21 00:00:47,173 --> 00:00:49,092 I mean, he basically uses that place as his office. 22 00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:51,177 That's the opposite of what I just suggested. 23 00:00:51,261 --> 00:00:53,179 Uh, look, if I were you, I would 24 00:00:53,263 --> 00:00:54,848 cancel the country club membership 25 00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:56,892 until we know the state of your finances. 26 00:00:56,975 --> 00:00:59,227 Don't be a moron, Barry. We're not canceling the country club. 27 00:00:59,311 --> 00:01:01,771 And why didn't anyone tell me we have a country club? 28 00:01:01,855 --> 00:01:04,441 You don't have a country club. We do. 29 00:01:04,524 --> 00:01:06,192 If anything, we should be spending more time there 30 00:01:06,276 --> 00:01:08,361 so that everybody can see that the Pembertons are fine. 31 00:01:08,445 --> 00:01:10,572 -Yeah, yeah, we're fine. -Not you. 32 00:01:10,655 --> 00:01:12,282 Yeah. If I don't play in the golf tournament this weekend, 33 00:01:12,365 --> 00:01:14,326 people are gonna know something's up. 34 00:01:14,409 --> 00:01:17,120 People are gonna notice if a 13-year-old isn't playing golf? 35 00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:20,290 Yeah. It's basically the social hub of Greenwich. 36 00:01:20,373 --> 00:01:23,585 Remember when the Ostrovskys got caught up in that Ponzi scheme? 37 00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:25,128 It's all anybody could talk about. 38 00:01:25,212 --> 00:01:27,464 Former clients who also ignored my advice. 39 00:01:27,547 --> 00:01:29,883 Oh, remember that one time you pooped in the pool 40 00:01:29,966 --> 00:01:31,885 and everyone called you Sabrina Pooperton? 41 00:01:31,968 --> 00:01:34,179 -Shut up, Chip. -Back up. Sabrina pooped the pool? 42 00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:35,805 No. When I was nine, I ate some chocolate 43 00:01:35,889 --> 00:01:38,225 in the pool and everybody went crazy. 44 00:01:38,308 --> 00:01:40,143 -Oh. -People are idiots. 45 00:01:40,227 --> 00:01:41,937 Eh, mom and dad had to pay for the drainage fee. 46 00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:43,355 That's basically admission of guilt. 47 00:01:43,438 --> 00:01:46,233 -Yeah. -Guys, I can't make this any clearer, 48 00:01:46,316 --> 00:01:48,193 this is a bad idea. 49 00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:49,945 Barry, you've been overruled. 50 00:01:50,028 --> 00:01:51,696 Now, let's talk about the food situation at this club. 51 00:01:51,780 --> 00:01:53,573 Do they do a decent nacho? 52 00:01:53,657 --> 00:01:55,951 I don't mean to offend you... 53 00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:57,202 Then don't. 54 00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:59,246 You don't fit the Pemberton brand. 55 00:01:59,329 --> 00:02:02,624 The Pemberton brand seems to be fugitives and pool poopers. 56 00:02:06,670 --> 00:02:09,548 Hey, pop these by the first tee for me. 57 00:02:09,631 --> 00:02:11,716 -Thanks, chief. -What... 58 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,218 what are you doing? Chip. 59 00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:14,761 Show some restraint. 60 00:02:14,844 --> 00:02:17,180 I am. Dad usually gives him 50. 61 00:02:17,264 --> 00:02:18,807 Well, maybe consider a new financial role model 62 00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:20,225 besides Dad. 63 00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:22,227 What the hell? 64 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,354 I'm not in my usual foursome with Judge Golder. 65 00:02:24,437 --> 00:02:25,564 (GASPS) There you are. 66 00:02:25,647 --> 00:02:27,399 Oh, you're with Jerry Berlin. 67 00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:29,234 Oh, the guy from the concrete company? 68 00:02:29,317 --> 00:02:32,070 It's already happening, we're becoming socially radioactive. 69 00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,613 -(LAUGHS) -Oh, here he comes. 70 00:02:33,697 --> 00:02:34,864 Is that Chippy? How are you? 71 00:02:34,948 --> 00:02:36,157 -How you doing, darling? -(EXCLAIMS WEAKLY) 72 00:02:36,241 --> 00:02:38,243 You ready to go make this course our 18-hole bitch? 73 00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:40,245 I would, and I'd love to, but me and Sabrina 74 00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,580 -have to go to the... -No, we don't. 75 00:02:41,663 --> 00:02:43,081 -Have fun. -Yeah? 76 00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:45,292 Yeah? Come on, tiger. Huh? Come on. 77 00:02:45,375 --> 00:02:47,085 All right, let's go, come on. 78 00:02:47,168 --> 00:02:48,962 I said, "Sweetie, sleeping with a woman doesn't 79 00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:52,173 "make you a lesbian, it means you're bored." 80 00:02:52,257 --> 00:02:53,633 I know. Right? 81 00:02:53,717 --> 00:02:54,718 100%. 82 00:02:54,801 --> 00:02:56,761 Oh, God. I'll call you back. 83 00:02:56,845 --> 00:02:58,263 Hey, Oliver. Sabrina Pemberton. 84 00:02:58,346 --> 00:02:59,639 We met at the Met Gala. 85 00:02:59,723 --> 00:03:01,600 I'm sorry, that night is a blur of bad Pinot 86 00:03:01,683 --> 00:03:03,268 and intolerable conversation. 87 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:05,270 I assume you want to talk about the article? 88 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,314 Oh, that stupid thing? No. Come on. (CHUCKLES) 89 00:03:07,397 --> 00:03:09,691 I just came over here to tell you how big of a fan I am. 90 00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:10,984 Aw, sweet. 91 00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:12,319 Thanks for popping by. 92 00:03:12,402 --> 00:03:14,446 No, I just also wanted to say that, you know, 93 00:03:14,529 --> 00:03:17,240 if you ever needed a resource, I'm pretty plugged in around here. 94 00:03:17,324 --> 00:03:19,034 Oh, are you? 95 00:03:19,117 --> 00:03:20,785 I mean, 96 00:03:20,869 --> 00:03:23,413 in my eyeline alone... 97 00:03:23,496 --> 00:03:26,791 Dan Gregor flipped his car with a hooker in the front 98 00:03:26,875 --> 00:03:28,251 and an eight ball in the glove box. 99 00:03:28,335 --> 00:03:29,461 Hmm. 100 00:03:29,544 --> 00:03:30,587 That's it? 101 00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:32,005 I'm just getting started. 102 00:03:32,088 --> 00:03:33,798 -Huh. -Jackie Gilford 103 00:03:33,882 --> 00:03:36,468 had her housekeeper deported because she didn't want to fire her. 104 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:38,595 Oh, and Caroline Martin, 105 00:03:38,678 --> 00:03:41,306 she used all the money from her 9/11 charity fund 106 00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:42,682 to fix that face. 107 00:03:42,766 --> 00:03:45,352 -(EXCLAIMS SOFTLY) -And not that it's worthy of an article, 108 00:03:45,435 --> 00:03:48,396 but that purebred Goldendoodle she won't shut up about? 109 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,148 (WHISPERS) Rescue. 110 00:03:50,232 --> 00:03:51,608 (LAUGHS) 111 00:03:51,691 --> 00:03:53,443 Yeah. So, you know, 112 00:03:53,526 --> 00:03:56,279 as you can see, there are plenty of stories here 113 00:03:56,363 --> 00:03:58,073 that are far juicier than my family. 114 00:03:58,156 --> 00:04:01,034 (CHUCKLES) Girl, you are the story. 115 00:04:01,117 --> 00:04:03,161 -(CHUCKLES) What? -Prominent family 116 00:04:03,245 --> 00:04:04,746 on the brink of collapse with a daughter 117 00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:06,831 who's got a mouth like a fire hose? 118 00:04:06,915 --> 00:04:08,375 Wait, I told you that in confidence. 119 00:04:08,458 --> 00:04:09,709 Ah, you didn't say "off the record." 120 00:04:09,793 --> 00:04:11,378 -Off the record. -Nah. 121 00:04:11,461 --> 00:04:13,713 Okay. I made it all up. So... 122 00:04:13,797 --> 00:04:15,257 Oh. So you're a liar, too? 123 00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:16,383 -What? -Oh! This keeps 124 00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:17,968 -getting better and better. -No... 125 00:04:18,051 --> 00:04:19,302 Oh, God! 126 00:04:20,595 --> 00:04:21,972 Oh, God. 127 00:04:22,055 --> 00:04:23,974 Look, all I'm saying is that, for a fancy establishment, 128 00:04:24,057 --> 00:04:26,268 you do very piss-poor nachos. 129 00:04:26,351 --> 00:04:27,477 Ma'am, we don't do nachos. 130 00:04:27,561 --> 00:04:28,853 You insisted we make them. 131 00:04:28,937 --> 00:04:31,064 Yeah. Well, you tried, and you did a really bad job of it. 132 00:04:31,147 --> 00:04:32,315 So I'm not paying for them. 133 00:04:32,399 --> 00:04:33,733 Well, don't take 'em away. 134 00:04:33,817 --> 00:04:36,361 I'm gonna snack around a little bit. I will take another mojito. 135 00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:38,321 You seem to have a pretty good handle on those. 136 00:04:38,405 --> 00:04:39,990 Thank you. Ah! 137 00:04:40,073 --> 00:04:42,325 -One for my girl, too. -Oh, no, no, no. No, no. 138 00:04:42,409 --> 00:04:43,785 Poodle says that when I'm at the club, 139 00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:45,370 I'm supposed to be invisible. 140 00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,664 Alba, when you get a chance to party at a place like this, 141 00:04:47,747 --> 00:04:48,790 you got to take full advantage. 142 00:04:48,873 --> 00:04:50,584 -Oh. -Check out all this stuff 143 00:04:50,667 --> 00:04:53,295 -that I snagged. All for free. -Oh. 144 00:04:53,378 --> 00:04:55,380 Stole this massaging showerhead. Just unscrewed it, 145 00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:57,424 -right off the shower. Nice, right? -That's nice. 146 00:04:57,507 --> 00:04:58,758 -Yeah. -You get the little soaps? 147 00:04:58,842 --> 00:04:59,885 -I really like those little soaps. -You kidding me? 148 00:04:59,968 --> 00:05:00,969 I got a hundred little s... 149 00:05:01,052 --> 00:05:02,053 What the hell are you doing here? 150 00:05:02,137 --> 00:05:03,597 Oh, yeah, you know what, 151 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:07,100 I was sitting at home, and then I remembered you're not my boss. 152 00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:08,894 Place is amazing, by the way. You're right. 153 00:05:08,977 --> 00:05:11,354 Yeah, well, enjoy it, because it might be our last day. 154 00:05:11,438 --> 00:05:13,523 What are you talking about, last day? 155 00:05:13,607 --> 00:05:15,400 Alba, will you please take Ben to the playroom? 156 00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:16,776 I need to have a chat with Mickey. 157 00:05:16,860 --> 00:05:20,238 Well, if you're gonna use bad words, I already know five. 158 00:05:20,322 --> 00:05:22,365 The B-word you always call Mickey... 159 00:05:22,449 --> 00:05:24,117 -Okay. Come on. You like to play. -Wait, I'm not done, 160 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,828 -I'm not done. (SIGHS) -No, no, no, no, no. 161 00:05:26,912 --> 00:05:30,165 Hmm. Was the "B" for "boisterous"? 162 00:05:33,001 --> 00:05:34,920 What's the matter? Little plan didn't work? 163 00:05:35,003 --> 00:05:37,631 Not exactly. I think I poured more gas on the fire. 164 00:05:37,714 --> 00:05:40,008 Oh, hell no. Mmm-mmm. I got a tennis lesson tomorrow. 165 00:05:40,091 --> 00:05:42,427 Lead me to him. I'll handle this clown. 166 00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:43,637 Okay. 167 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,351 -Pem-ba-tone. -Pem-ba-ton. 168 00:05:49,434 --> 00:05:51,436 -Pemberton. -Peh-ba-tone. 169 00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:52,854 -Pa-ba-tone. -Pemberton. 170 00:05:52,938 --> 00:05:54,022 -Pem-ba-ten. -Pemberton. 171 00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:55,565 -BOTH: Pem-ba... -Okay, you know what, 172 00:05:55,649 --> 00:05:57,442 -screw it, all right? Where's our carts? -Oh, it's the last team 173 00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,819 of the day. No carts left. 174 00:05:59,903 --> 00:06:03,156 (EXHALES) Fine. I'll get some waters. We'll be on our way. 175 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,701 Oh, yeah, we ran out of those, too. 176 00:06:06,785 --> 00:06:09,537 Don't you guys see what's happening? 177 00:06:11,122 --> 00:06:12,499 We're getting boxed out! 178 00:06:12,582 --> 00:06:14,292 Aw, relax, kid. Happens all the time. 179 00:06:14,376 --> 00:06:17,170 Not to me, it doesn't. It's a slap in the face. 180 00:06:17,254 --> 00:06:20,006 Fine. All right. We'll see how easy it is for them 181 00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:21,841 to box us out once we go out there and win 182 00:06:21,925 --> 00:06:23,969 the whole damn tournament! Who's with me? 183 00:06:24,052 --> 00:06:25,178 ALL: Hai! 184 00:06:25,262 --> 00:06:26,304 Yeah, yeah, I'm revved up. 185 00:06:26,388 --> 00:06:27,472 -Yeah! -Let's do this. 186 00:06:27,556 --> 00:06:28,598 Come on. 187 00:06:34,771 --> 00:06:37,107 (EXHALES) Oh. Shanked it. 188 00:06:37,190 --> 00:06:39,192 Seriously? 189 00:06:39,276 --> 00:06:41,528 (PIANO PLAYING) 190 00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:43,405 Can I help you? 191 00:06:43,488 --> 00:06:45,532 No, I don't think so. But I can help you. 192 00:06:45,615 --> 00:06:47,993 My name's Mickey. I'm Sabrina Pemberton's aunt. 193 00:06:48,076 --> 00:06:49,995 Oh, of course. Poodle's sister. 194 00:06:50,078 --> 00:06:52,497 I smell the resemblance. Is that rum? 195 00:06:52,581 --> 00:06:54,499 Yeah. Mmm-hmm. It's rum. Good nose. 196 00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:56,668 Listen, I know you're a busy girl and I'm a busy guy, 197 00:06:56,751 --> 00:06:58,795 so I'll just get right down to business. 198 00:06:59,629 --> 00:07:00,630 Boom. 199 00:07:00,714 --> 00:07:01,798 What is this? 200 00:07:01,882 --> 00:07:05,218 That's $168. 201 00:07:05,302 --> 00:07:07,679 And what am I supposed to do with it? 202 00:07:07,762 --> 00:07:09,097 I don't care. Put a down payment on a Chihuahua. 203 00:07:09,180 --> 00:07:10,223 It's a bribe. Take it. 204 00:07:11,308 --> 00:07:13,018 Huh. 205 00:07:13,101 --> 00:07:16,688 (GRUNTS) There. That's better. 206 00:07:16,771 --> 00:07:18,481 Is there a problem? 207 00:07:18,565 --> 00:07:19,566 No. None whatsoever. 208 00:07:19,649 --> 00:07:22,152 Thanks to $168 and your niece, 209 00:07:22,235 --> 00:07:25,030 I'm flush with material for the next month. 210 00:07:26,114 --> 00:07:28,575 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 211 00:07:28,658 --> 00:07:29,743 Okay. 212 00:07:29,826 --> 00:07:32,037 Well, I hope you've got a good memory. 213 00:07:36,666 --> 00:07:38,627 That wasn't mine. 214 00:07:39,669 --> 00:07:40,670 What's that? 215 00:07:40,754 --> 00:07:42,547 That wasn't mine. Mmm. Mmm. 216 00:07:42,631 --> 00:07:44,341 Watch that. 217 00:07:44,424 --> 00:07:46,468 -Keep your eyes on that. -Walk away. 218 00:07:47,636 --> 00:07:50,972 Concentrate. Eye on the ball. 219 00:07:51,056 --> 00:07:53,683 Deep breath. Nice and easy. 220 00:07:53,767 --> 00:07:55,268 -Own it, baby! -G... 221 00:07:55,352 --> 00:07:56,603 Ooh! 222 00:07:56,686 --> 00:07:57,771 Ah. Worm burner. 223 00:07:57,854 --> 00:07:58,939 Damn it! 224 00:07:59,022 --> 00:08:00,607 -Easy, buddy. -Stupid... 225 00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:01,983 You okay, tiger? 226 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,568 -I'm fine! -You sure? 227 00:08:03,652 --> 00:08:05,070 I'm freaking fine! 228 00:08:05,153 --> 00:08:07,322 Listen, I heard about your folks, all right? 229 00:08:07,405 --> 00:08:10,700 Everybody gets popped sooner or later. They'll get through it. 230 00:08:10,784 --> 00:08:14,621 All right, well, we're not everybody. Our name is getting stomped on! 231 00:08:15,956 --> 00:08:20,335 I thought if we came here and won the tournament, 232 00:08:20,418 --> 00:08:23,588 -I could've got some of our glory back. -Mmm. I get it. 233 00:08:23,672 --> 00:08:26,216 Look, all you got to do is change the conversation. 234 00:08:26,299 --> 00:08:29,219 Okay. So how do I, um... 235 00:08:29,302 --> 00:08:31,096 how do I change the conversation? 236 00:08:31,179 --> 00:08:34,641 Hmm. Well, you could tell everybody you tackled a school shooter. 237 00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:37,519 -Okay. That could be nice. -Nah, nah. You know what, 238 00:08:37,602 --> 00:08:38,895 an injury is always the safest bet. 239 00:08:38,979 --> 00:08:40,647 You take a line drive to the sternum right now, 240 00:08:40,730 --> 00:08:41,731 that's all they'll remember. 241 00:08:41,815 --> 00:08:43,984 Tax fraud who? Murder what? 242 00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:46,027 My family didn't murder anybody. 243 00:08:46,111 --> 00:08:49,406 I'm not asking any questions. I'm thinking about the kid with the hole in his chest. 244 00:08:52,117 --> 00:08:53,451 Fine. Do it. 245 00:08:53,535 --> 00:08:54,619 Good man. 246 00:08:55,537 --> 00:08:59,666 All right. Now, I want you to cover your teeth and your junk. 247 00:08:59,749 --> 00:09:00,750 -Okay. -All right? 248 00:09:00,834 --> 00:09:02,544 -Okay. -Cover up. 249 00:09:02,627 --> 00:09:03,670 -Here it comes. -All right. 250 00:09:03,753 --> 00:09:05,672 All right. Only take a second. 251 00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:06,840 -(GROANS) -Won't hurt. 252 00:09:06,923 --> 00:09:08,008 Won't hurt. Here comes. Ready? 253 00:09:08,091 --> 00:09:10,260 (MUFFLED SHOUTING) 254 00:09:10,343 --> 00:09:11,344 Oh! 255 00:09:11,428 --> 00:09:12,846 (CHUCKLES) 256 00:09:12,929 --> 00:09:15,140 -What the hell is wrong with you? -Come on. 257 00:09:15,223 --> 00:09:16,224 Stop. 258 00:09:16,308 --> 00:09:19,686 Let me buy you an Arnie Palmer, all right? Rest his soul. Come on. 259 00:09:19,769 --> 00:09:21,271 I got it. 260 00:09:21,354 --> 00:09:23,565 We chuck hot sauce in his face. 261 00:09:23,648 --> 00:09:24,774 What's that gonna do? 262 00:09:24,858 --> 00:09:26,568 It's gonna burn him really bad. 263 00:09:26,651 --> 00:09:28,695 -Oh, God. You're an idiot. -I'm the idiot? 264 00:09:28,778 --> 00:09:30,780 At least I'm, like, coming up with stuff here, you know? 265 00:09:30,864 --> 00:09:32,699 Oh, God. I really think you should slow down. 266 00:09:32,782 --> 00:09:33,783 You're gonna crap yourself. 267 00:09:33,867 --> 00:09:34,951 That's kind of your department. 268 00:09:35,035 --> 00:09:37,037 (GRUNTS) 269 00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:42,959 Huh? 270 00:09:43,043 --> 00:09:45,503 -No. -Are you kidding me? 271 00:09:45,587 --> 00:09:47,714 Think about it. We need something that will overshadow 272 00:09:47,797 --> 00:09:49,090 your family's scandal, right? 273 00:09:49,174 --> 00:09:50,592 We can't. 274 00:09:50,675 --> 00:09:51,760 Oh, we can. 275 00:09:51,843 --> 00:09:53,678 And we will. 276 00:09:53,762 --> 00:09:56,890 We're gonna make Oliver poop the pool. 277 00:09:56,973 --> 00:09:58,767 Just like you did. 278 00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:00,852 Um... 279 00:10:04,773 --> 00:10:07,692 JERRY: Ugh. Dead last. 280 00:10:07,776 --> 00:10:09,694 -Who would've guessed it? -Literally, anyone. 281 00:10:09,778 --> 00:10:11,279 Yeah, well, that's the thing about golf. 282 00:10:11,363 --> 00:10:12,822 You know... Ooh. 283 00:10:12,906 --> 00:10:14,699 -Hey, have you guys seen Ben? Yeah. -Yeah, we need his poop. 284 00:10:14,783 --> 00:10:16,451 Wow. 285 00:10:16,534 --> 00:10:18,328 You gonna introduce me to your friend? 286 00:10:18,411 --> 00:10:19,871 (SIGHS) Jerry, Mickey. Mickey, Jerry. 287 00:10:19,955 --> 00:10:22,749 How are you, blue eyes? Can I buy you a drink? 288 00:10:22,832 --> 00:10:23,917 Yeah. 289 00:10:25,377 --> 00:10:26,378 Mmm-hmm. 290 00:10:28,797 --> 00:10:30,715 Oh, my goodness. 291 00:10:30,799 --> 00:10:32,342 That's a woman. 292 00:10:32,425 --> 00:10:33,760 Hey, hey. 293 00:10:33,843 --> 00:10:35,887 If it isn't the all-stars. 294 00:10:35,971 --> 00:10:37,013 (MEN LAUGH) 295 00:10:37,097 --> 00:10:38,348 What happened out there today, Chip? 296 00:10:38,431 --> 00:10:40,767 Guess your short game fled the country, too, hey, kiddo? 297 00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:43,353 -(MEN LAUGH) -Oh, yeah? 298 00:10:43,436 --> 00:10:44,938 Well, get this. 299 00:10:45,021 --> 00:10:46,731 While you good old boys were busy chuggin' high balls, 300 00:10:46,815 --> 00:10:49,359 Pemberton here sunk a hole in one. 301 00:10:49,442 --> 00:10:51,152 -Really? -Oh, yeah. 302 00:10:51,236 --> 00:10:52,946 -That's incredible. Hey, guys. -Yeah. 303 00:10:53,029 --> 00:10:55,782 The Pemberton kid here got a hole in one. 304 00:10:55,865 --> 00:10:56,866 (ALL CHEER AND CLAP) 305 00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:58,868 That's my boy, huh? (LAUGHS) 306 00:10:58,952 --> 00:11:01,788 Yeah, I, uh, I can't believe you told them that. 307 00:11:01,871 --> 00:11:03,873 Oh, and I can't believe I was there to see it. 308 00:11:03,957 --> 00:11:06,418 Tell them, Chip. Take it away. 309 00:11:07,586 --> 00:11:08,753 Y-Yeah. 310 00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:13,383 So, I was, um... golfing with this guy 311 00:11:13,466 --> 00:11:15,343 and, uh, we were on the grass 312 00:11:15,427 --> 00:11:17,971 and I reached for my seven iron and then I switched to a six, 313 00:11:18,054 --> 00:11:19,973 -'cause, well, I'm 13. -He's 13! 314 00:11:20,056 --> 00:11:21,057 (LAUGHTER) 315 00:11:21,141 --> 00:11:22,809 (CHUCKLES) 316 00:11:22,893 --> 00:11:25,812 -You're killing them. Go ahead, tell them. -Yeah. 317 00:11:25,896 --> 00:11:26,897 So, I, uh, I inhale 318 00:11:26,980 --> 00:11:29,107 -some fresh morning air. -Uh-huh. 319 00:11:29,190 --> 00:11:30,984 And-and then I take a nice swing back 320 00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:33,570 and I rip it, right? 321 00:11:33,653 --> 00:11:34,779 And I thought I overshot it, I really did, 322 00:11:34,863 --> 00:11:36,907 but it turns out I hit it right on the pin 323 00:11:36,990 --> 00:11:38,575 and it rolled right in. 324 00:11:38,658 --> 00:11:40,952 (LAUGHS) A round of drinks on Pemberton. 325 00:11:41,036 --> 00:11:42,078 (CHEERING AND LAUGHTER) 326 00:11:45,498 --> 00:11:46,541 Wait, wait, wait, what? 327 00:11:46,625 --> 00:11:47,709 It's tradition. 328 00:11:47,792 --> 00:11:50,295 You get a hole in one, you buy drinks for the whole club. 329 00:11:50,378 --> 00:11:51,713 (WHISPERING) Hey. 330 00:11:51,796 --> 00:11:52,839 What the hell, Jerry? 331 00:11:52,923 --> 00:11:54,633 I can't afford to pay for the whole damn club. 332 00:11:54,716 --> 00:11:55,800 Oh... 333 00:11:56,051 --> 00:11:59,596 (SIGHS) Know what? Screw it. 334 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,557 Drink up, you sons of bitches, it's on the Pembertons! 335 00:12:02,641 --> 00:12:04,351 (CHEERING) 336 00:12:04,434 --> 00:12:06,728 Mmm. (SLURPS) 337 00:12:06,811 --> 00:12:08,605 Mmm. 338 00:12:08,688 --> 00:12:11,816 What do you think, Benito? What should we do next? 339 00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:14,569 You want 'em to wrap us in the detoxifying seaweed 340 00:12:14,653 --> 00:12:17,197 or scrub us down with the pineapple enzymes? 341 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,323 (SLURPS) 342 00:12:18,406 --> 00:12:20,825 I want the pineapple enzyme scrub 343 00:12:20,909 --> 00:12:22,827 and the detoxifying seaweed. 344 00:12:22,911 --> 00:12:25,330 Mmm. You heard him. 345 00:12:25,413 --> 00:12:26,790 Pineapple the son of a bitch. 346 00:12:26,873 --> 00:12:28,875 Oh, and put it on the Pemberton account. 347 00:12:28,959 --> 00:12:30,835 Alba, what are you doing? Do you have any idea how much this costs? 348 00:12:30,919 --> 00:12:32,837 -That a mojito? -Yeah, it is. 349 00:12:32,921 --> 00:12:34,005 -That's my girl. -(ALBA CHUCKLES) 350 00:12:34,089 --> 00:12:38,260 (CHUCKLES) Aunt Mickey, I'm gonna get covered in mud. 351 00:12:38,343 --> 00:12:40,011 No kidding, we were looking to do some mud stuff, too. 352 00:12:40,095 --> 00:12:41,471 Yeah, and I just want to go on record 353 00:12:41,555 --> 00:12:43,014 and say this was not my idea. 354 00:12:43,098 --> 00:12:45,350 Right, yeah, yeah, this was totally not her idea. Yeah. 355 00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:47,852 It was, however, based on the story of her life. 356 00:12:47,936 --> 00:12:49,896 -(CHUCKLES) -Ben, what do you say? 357 00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:51,273 You want to do our family a solid? 358 00:12:51,356 --> 00:12:52,857 Uh, okay. 359 00:12:52,941 --> 00:12:55,277 But can I go to the bathroom first? 360 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,071 Bingo. 361 00:12:58,154 --> 00:13:00,657 And so finally, the Jew says to the Mormon, 362 00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:02,284 "Because it's my bank." 363 00:13:02,367 --> 00:13:04,202 (LAUGHTER) 364 00:13:04,286 --> 00:13:06,663 Ooh. 365 00:13:06,746 --> 00:13:07,914 What about our boy, huh? 366 00:13:07,998 --> 00:13:09,874 Oh, he's great. You should've been there. 367 00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:11,084 Yeah, well, they're here now and we're talking 368 00:13:11,167 --> 00:13:12,711 and you're interrupting. 369 00:13:12,794 --> 00:13:15,213 Oh. Oh, I get it. 370 00:13:15,297 --> 00:13:16,381 Do you? 371 00:13:16,464 --> 00:13:17,966 Because you're still here, all right? 372 00:13:18,049 --> 00:13:19,301 So, how about you go enjoy your free drink 373 00:13:19,384 --> 00:13:20,844 and if we need any fun facts about gravel, 374 00:13:20,927 --> 00:13:22,429 we'll hit you up, all right? 375 00:13:22,512 --> 00:13:23,513 (LAUGHTER) 376 00:13:23,597 --> 00:13:25,891 (FORCED CHUCKLE) All right. 377 00:13:25,974 --> 00:13:27,309 (FAKE CHUCKLE) 378 00:13:27,392 --> 00:13:29,728 Pardon me, Chip, may I have a word? 379 00:13:29,811 --> 00:13:32,022 Yeah, sure, Alfie. One second, boys. 380 00:13:34,149 --> 00:13:35,650 So, what is this about? 381 00:13:35,734 --> 00:13:37,485 A photo op with the hole-in-one kid? 382 00:13:37,569 --> 00:13:40,614 Well, it's come to my attention that you may have 383 00:13:40,697 --> 00:13:42,032 embellished your story. 384 00:13:47,746 --> 00:13:48,830 (SLURPS) 385 00:13:48,914 --> 00:13:49,915 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 386 00:13:49,998 --> 00:13:52,876 So, we are gonna put Ben's poop 387 00:13:52,959 --> 00:13:56,546 (SLURRING) inside this gossip columnist? 388 00:13:56,630 --> 00:13:59,341 No. And cool it on the drinks while I explain the plan. 389 00:13:59,424 --> 00:14:02,135 (LOUD, SUSTAINED SLURP) 390 00:14:02,219 --> 00:14:04,304 Go on. 391 00:14:04,387 --> 00:14:06,223 This is gone. 392 00:14:08,141 --> 00:14:09,976 Thanks to Sabrina's cunning and charm, 393 00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:12,312 we know that Oliver goes to the pool every day after lunch 394 00:14:12,395 --> 00:14:14,731 to work on his tan. 395 00:14:16,816 --> 00:14:19,361 And once our little songbird finds his perfect perch, 396 00:14:19,444 --> 00:14:22,989 we kick off a tanning day from hell. 397 00:14:23,073 --> 00:14:25,784 First, we swap out his tanning oil for cooking grease 398 00:14:25,867 --> 00:14:27,869 so he bakes like a human brisket. 399 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:31,373 Ah. 400 00:14:31,456 --> 00:14:34,167 Then, Alba utilizes her nanny network 401 00:14:34,251 --> 00:14:37,170 to ensure some serious stink sours his mood. 402 00:14:37,254 --> 00:14:39,005 I know all the babies. 403 00:14:39,089 --> 00:14:40,382 -I know you do. -Mmm. 404 00:14:40,465 --> 00:14:42,884 Oh, my God. What are you feeding that thing? 405 00:14:42,968 --> 00:14:46,012 MICKEY: Then Ben will delicately distract him. 406 00:14:46,096 --> 00:14:47,597 (GRUNTS) Who the hell did that? 407 00:14:47,681 --> 00:14:48,974 Sorry, mister. 408 00:14:49,057 --> 00:14:50,058 MICKEY: While I approach 409 00:14:50,141 --> 00:14:52,018 with a not so fresh towel. 410 00:14:52,102 --> 00:14:54,104 No one's unclear on the poop part. 411 00:14:54,187 --> 00:14:55,897 No toys by the pool. 412 00:14:56,648 --> 00:14:59,025 Okay. Want to play Marco Polo? 413 00:14:59,109 --> 00:15:00,110 Get out of here. 414 00:15:01,069 --> 00:15:04,489 And then... the coup de grâce. 415 00:15:04,573 --> 00:15:07,158 The most precise and intricate part of our plan. 416 00:15:08,368 --> 00:15:09,995 -(BABY CRYING) -Between the heat, 417 00:15:10,078 --> 00:15:12,622 the smell, and the crying, Oliver's left with only one option. 418 00:15:12,706 --> 00:15:16,001 Really? This now? Ugh. 419 00:15:16,084 --> 00:15:18,962 MICKEY: Get in that pool. 420 00:15:20,088 --> 00:15:23,592 BEN: Oh, my God! Is that poop? 421 00:15:23,675 --> 00:15:25,010 What? 422 00:15:25,093 --> 00:15:26,511 -No! What? -(KIDS LAUGHING) 423 00:15:28,471 --> 00:15:31,224 No, you're mistaken! It can't be. 424 00:15:31,308 --> 00:15:32,976 That's not what that is. 425 00:15:33,059 --> 00:15:34,102 MICKEY: And just like that, 426 00:15:34,185 --> 00:15:36,438 he becomes the pariah he tried to make us, 427 00:15:36,521 --> 00:15:40,442 the poop pariah. 428 00:15:40,525 --> 00:15:42,444 Oh, yeah. Let's do that. 429 00:15:42,527 --> 00:15:43,612 Yeah. 430 00:15:43,695 --> 00:15:45,030 Aunt Mickey, I really got to go. 431 00:15:45,113 --> 00:15:46,448 Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. Let's roll. 432 00:15:46,531 --> 00:15:50,076 Why'd you stop? Mmm. 433 00:15:56,708 --> 00:16:00,253 Can you guys please stop making eye contact with me? 434 00:16:00,337 --> 00:16:01,463 Well, I just don't understand 435 00:16:01,546 --> 00:16:03,089 why you're having such a hard time. 436 00:16:03,173 --> 00:16:05,175 I mean, you're normally like one of those Play-Doh presses. 437 00:16:05,258 --> 00:16:06,259 Yeah, hurry it up. 438 00:16:06,343 --> 00:16:07,594 This is getting really weird. 439 00:16:07,677 --> 00:16:09,346 ALBA: Don't worry, it's taken care of. 440 00:16:09,429 --> 00:16:11,223 -Ah! -It's not that, 441 00:16:11,306 --> 00:16:12,891 I stole some fudge from the kitchen. 442 00:16:12,974 --> 00:16:14,351 -Oh. -See? 443 00:16:14,434 --> 00:16:17,229 -It does look the same. -All right. Chill out, Pooperton. 444 00:16:17,312 --> 00:16:19,940 -No! -(SPEAKING JAPANESE) 445 00:16:23,109 --> 00:16:24,277 They're lying! 446 00:16:24,361 --> 00:16:26,363 We don't take these accusations lightly. 447 00:16:26,446 --> 00:16:29,157 Fortunately, the last member of your foursome can clear this up. 448 00:16:29,241 --> 00:16:30,492 JERRY: Oh. 449 00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:33,620 Chippy, Chippy, Chippy, Chip, Chip. 450 00:16:33,703 --> 00:16:36,289 My line of work, we have a saying. 451 00:16:36,373 --> 00:16:38,083 Truth is the best foundation. 452 00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:40,085 The most concrete thing we have. 453 00:16:40,168 --> 00:16:42,212 Jerry, please. 454 00:16:42,295 --> 00:16:44,047 To cheat in golf, the purest of all games, 455 00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:46,466 why, that could tarnish your reputation. 456 00:16:46,550 --> 00:16:48,176 I don't see how a man could ever recover, 457 00:16:48,260 --> 00:16:49,928 not in this country. 458 00:16:50,011 --> 00:16:52,097 Well, you might be able to get a fresh start overseas. 459 00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:54,307 Well, I don't know. 460 00:16:54,391 --> 00:16:56,142 But I don't actually think 461 00:16:56,226 --> 00:16:59,521 my Pacific Rim friends here have accused anyone of anything. 462 00:16:59,604 --> 00:17:01,481 They're just confused. 463 00:17:01,565 --> 00:17:05,735 (SPEAKING JAPANESE) 464 00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:09,698 Ah. 465 00:17:09,781 --> 00:17:11,408 -Hole in one. -Hmm. Hai. 466 00:17:11,491 --> 00:17:13,285 -Hai. Hai. -Oh, hai. Hai! 467 00:17:13,368 --> 00:17:14,536 JERRY: Hai. 468 00:17:14,619 --> 00:17:16,913 I did the Olympic village in Nagano Games '98. 469 00:17:16,997 --> 00:17:19,332 Seems to me, we owe this boy an apology. 470 00:17:19,416 --> 00:17:22,335 -Chip, I feel like I owe you... -(JERRY CLEARS THROAT) 471 00:17:22,419 --> 00:17:24,254 -Mr. Pemberton. -Huh? 472 00:17:24,337 --> 00:17:25,839 Mr. Pemberton, Pemberton. (CLICKS TONGUE) 473 00:17:25,922 --> 00:17:27,299 Right. Mr. Pemberton, 474 00:17:27,382 --> 00:17:31,261 I hope that you accept our sincerest apology. 475 00:17:31,344 --> 00:17:34,014 Alfie, Alfie. Save it, all right? These things happen. 476 00:17:34,097 --> 00:17:35,140 Thank you. 477 00:17:35,223 --> 00:17:36,766 If you're a moron! 478 00:17:36,850 --> 00:17:38,143 You slander me? 479 00:17:38,226 --> 00:17:40,145 Me? And you think you'll get away with it? 480 00:17:40,228 --> 00:17:41,563 I'll have my lawyers all over your ass, 481 00:17:41,646 --> 00:17:42,939 and by the time they're done with you, 482 00:17:43,023 --> 00:17:44,649 my name will be all over this club, 483 00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:47,277 while you're outside mowing the lawn, you animal! 484 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,279 I don't know what to say. 485 00:17:49,362 --> 00:17:50,739 CHIP: Say nothing! Shut your gaping pie hole, 486 00:17:50,822 --> 00:17:51,907 you bald son of... 487 00:17:51,990 --> 00:17:54,159 Ah, well, you got a scary side, kid. 488 00:17:54,242 --> 00:17:56,119 (SOFT CHUCKLE) Thanks. 489 00:17:56,202 --> 00:17:57,662 Why'd you help me out? 490 00:17:57,746 --> 00:17:59,205 Ah. 491 00:17:59,289 --> 00:18:02,042 Kid, my old man was a shoeshine boy for coal miners. 492 00:18:02,125 --> 00:18:03,251 I was born in the dust. 493 00:18:03,335 --> 00:18:05,795 Makes me feel good to be in a position to help out 494 00:18:05,879 --> 00:18:07,339 a little prince like yourself. 495 00:18:07,422 --> 00:18:11,009 A Berlin bailing out a Pemberton, how about that? 496 00:18:11,092 --> 00:18:12,761 Well, thank you. 497 00:18:12,844 --> 00:18:14,262 Don't mention it. 498 00:18:14,346 --> 00:18:16,598 Just get me your aunt's phone number, we'll be even, huh? 499 00:18:16,681 --> 00:18:18,016 Done. 500 00:18:18,099 --> 00:18:20,185 And here he comes 501 00:18:20,268 --> 00:18:23,146 in three, two... 502 00:18:25,649 --> 00:18:28,318 And he will be walking through that door 503 00:18:28,401 --> 00:18:31,112 in three, two... 504 00:18:31,196 --> 00:18:33,198 -one. Where is he? -Ugh. 505 00:18:33,281 --> 00:18:36,034 -Where is he? -Oh, no. He's over there. 506 00:18:36,117 --> 00:18:37,577 MICKEY: Are you serious? 507 00:18:37,661 --> 00:18:38,954 So much for the master plan. 508 00:18:39,037 --> 00:18:40,914 All right, well, where's Alba? She's got the stuff. 509 00:18:40,997 --> 00:18:42,123 Oh, yeah, there she is. 510 00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:45,252 Alba! 511 00:18:45,335 --> 00:18:46,378 Screw it. 512 00:18:55,345 --> 00:18:56,513 Hey, Fishburn. 513 00:18:56,596 --> 00:18:57,681 (SCREAMS) 514 00:18:58,932 --> 00:19:00,308 (KIDS LAUGHING) 515 00:19:03,478 --> 00:19:05,855 Sabrina, is that... Oh. 516 00:19:05,939 --> 00:19:07,357 (LAUGHING) Oh, my God. 517 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,401 -Sabrina Pemberton pooped the pool. -What? 518 00:19:09,484 --> 00:19:10,944 (LAUGHTER) 519 00:19:11,027 --> 00:19:12,195 SABRINA: Oh! No! 520 00:19:12,279 --> 00:19:14,364 Ah! No! 521 00:19:14,447 --> 00:19:17,325 No! No! 522 00:19:17,409 --> 00:19:18,451 It's chocolate. 523 00:19:18,535 --> 00:19:19,536 Ah! 524 00:19:21,413 --> 00:19:23,081 No! I swear, look! 525 00:19:23,164 --> 00:19:24,165 It's chocolate! 526 00:19:24,249 --> 00:19:25,959 (KIDS SCREAMING) 527 00:19:27,961 --> 00:19:29,546 No, no, no, no, no, nope. 528 00:19:29,629 --> 00:19:31,089 Please, not again! 529 00:19:31,172 --> 00:19:32,215 Hell no! 530 00:19:32,299 --> 00:19:33,675 Hot sauce! 531 00:19:33,758 --> 00:19:35,051 (SCREAMING) 532 00:19:35,135 --> 00:19:36,136 MICKEY: Yeah. 533 00:19:36,219 --> 00:19:38,346 It burns the eyes and the face. See? 534 00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:39,472 My-my eyes! 535 00:19:39,556 --> 00:19:40,974 Hot sau... 536 00:19:43,727 --> 00:19:47,188 I ask you to keep a low profile, cut back on expenses. 537 00:19:47,272 --> 00:19:49,274 And instead you buy drinks for hundreds of people? 538 00:19:49,357 --> 00:19:50,483 It's tradition. 539 00:19:50,567 --> 00:19:52,402 -Defecate in a pool? -I did not. 540 00:19:52,485 --> 00:19:53,486 And assault a man. 541 00:19:53,570 --> 00:19:55,363 -Yeah. Yeah, I did. -Okay. 542 00:19:55,447 --> 00:19:59,200 Guys, this is a very serious situation. 543 00:19:59,284 --> 00:20:01,661 Close to 30% of your family's assets have been frozen. 544 00:20:01,745 --> 00:20:03,455 Well, hang on. What about the rest? 545 00:20:03,538 --> 00:20:05,081 Well, the rest is fine. 546 00:20:05,165 --> 00:20:06,291 For now. 547 00:20:06,374 --> 00:20:08,668 But your family lost millions of dollars. 548 00:20:08,752 --> 00:20:12,422 Okay, but you are saying that we still have millions left to lose. 549 00:20:12,505 --> 00:20:14,507 -Well, I wouldn't put it that way. -CHIP: All right, 550 00:20:14,591 --> 00:20:16,927 -way to go, Barry. We're still rich. -Nice. 551 00:20:17,010 --> 00:20:18,929 I don't think you're hearing me. 552 00:20:19,012 --> 00:20:20,722 We need to make some real adjustments, 553 00:20:20,805 --> 00:20:22,349 like that apartment on Ninth Avenue. 554 00:20:22,432 --> 00:20:23,600 It doesn't get much use. 555 00:20:23,683 --> 00:20:24,684 -Absolutely not. -Are you kidding me? 556 00:20:24,768 --> 00:20:26,686 We have an apartment in the city? 557 00:20:26,770 --> 00:20:27,854 You have nothing! 558 00:20:27,938 --> 00:20:30,315 Well, this is news. 559 00:21:04,266 --> 00:21:05,559 ALBA: Pineapple the son of a bitch.