1 00:00:01,294 --> 00:00:03,838 YOUNG MEN: Stewart! Stewart! Stewart! 2 00:00:03,922 --> 00:00:06,007 Stewart! Stewart! 3 00:00:06,091 --> 00:00:08,426 -(GRUNTING) -(GASPING, GROANING) 4 00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:11,012 Didn't feel it. 5 00:00:11,096 --> 00:00:12,722 (CHEERING) 6 00:00:13,098 --> 00:00:14,516 Stewart's such a freakin' beast! 7 00:00:14,683 --> 00:00:16,601 Lax season, baby. It's finally here. 8 00:00:16,685 --> 00:00:18,812 Dude, I'm laser-focused. 9 00:00:18,895 --> 00:00:20,981 If I can show Coach what I'm capable of, 10 00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:22,482 I got a shot at varsity next year. 11 00:00:22,774 --> 00:00:25,318 Oh, for sure. You're, like, the fastest kid in eighth grade. 12 00:00:25,402 --> 00:00:28,029 I'm the fastest kid in the whole school. 13 00:00:28,113 --> 00:00:29,489 YOUNG MAN: All right, boys, listen up. 14 00:00:29,573 --> 00:00:30,699 Great training camp. 15 00:00:30,782 --> 00:00:32,242 Squad's looking real strong this year. 16 00:00:32,909 --> 00:00:34,077 Stewart, your chest is bleeding. 17 00:00:34,536 --> 00:00:35,620 No, it's not. 18 00:00:35,704 --> 00:00:37,581 -Yeah, it is. -No. 19 00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:41,126 Okay, that's what I'm talking about! 20 00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:42,294 -Yeah. -(CHUCKLING) 21 00:00:42,377 --> 00:00:45,922 As long as we keep raising banners, we're untouchable! 22 00:00:46,006 --> 00:00:47,924 Lockwood Owls, baby! 23 00:00:48,008 --> 00:00:50,135 (CHEERING, WHOOPING) 24 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,261 You're the freakin' man, Pierce! 25 00:00:51,344 --> 00:00:53,638 (SCREECHING) 26 00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:55,724 Okay. All right. 27 00:00:55,807 --> 00:00:58,810 Now, as a thank you for a kick-ass training camp, 28 00:00:58,977 --> 00:01:00,729 us seniors have a little present 29 00:01:00,812 --> 00:01:03,565 to keep all of you guys, uh, motivated. 30 00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:05,275 Gentlemen... 31 00:01:05,358 --> 00:01:06,484 (PHONE CHIMES) 32 00:01:06,568 --> 00:01:07,777 ...check your phones. 33 00:01:07,861 --> 00:01:09,070 (PHONES CHIMING, VIBRATING) 34 00:01:10,030 --> 00:01:12,949 Damn. She's unbelievable. 35 00:01:13,033 --> 00:01:17,495 That picture comes to us from the legendary Robby Ragosa, 36 00:01:17,662 --> 00:01:19,080 who's playing D1 37 00:01:19,164 --> 00:01:21,082 at Virginia, smokin' goals 38 00:01:21,166 --> 00:01:22,626 and smokin' girls. 39 00:01:22,709 --> 00:01:23,877 (WHOOPING, CHUCKLING) 40 00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:25,754 Wait, why is there no face on mine? 41 00:01:25,837 --> 00:01:28,089 There's no face on any of 'em, doof. 42 00:01:28,173 --> 00:01:29,466 It's a freakin' sext. 43 00:01:30,467 --> 00:01:31,593 Oh. 44 00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,971 Look at that body. 45 00:01:35,055 --> 00:01:36,765 And, oh, that tattoo. 46 00:01:36,848 --> 00:01:38,433 It's like a... it's like a freakin'... 47 00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:39,601 Unicorn. 48 00:01:40,352 --> 00:01:42,270 Mr. Pemberton. 49 00:01:44,356 --> 00:01:47,275 Where am I... 50 00:01:47,651 --> 00:01:50,528 Damn, Alba, how many cars can one person crash? 51 00:01:50,654 --> 00:01:52,113 It was not my fault this time. 52 00:01:52,197 --> 00:01:54,366 You hit a parked car. How is it not your fault? 53 00:01:54,449 --> 00:01:56,243 That guy parked like a maniac. 54 00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:59,746 Alba, other people worked very hard to be able to buy those cars, 55 00:01:59,829 --> 00:02:01,623 -and now they're mine. Okay? -They're not yours. 56 00:02:01,706 --> 00:02:03,333 They're kind of... They're, like, half-mine. 57 00:02:03,416 --> 00:02:05,168 -They're ours. They're our cars. -No. They're ours. 58 00:02:05,252 --> 00:02:06,628 MICKEY: They're ours, and I want you to be 59 00:02:06,711 --> 00:02:08,255 -more careful with our cars. -Alba, just be careful. 60 00:02:08,338 --> 00:02:09,548 Well, I cannot help it. 61 00:02:09,631 --> 00:02:13,176 When I am behind the wheel, I am a slave to the power of the machine. 62 00:02:13,260 --> 00:02:14,344 Listen, just clean up your act or else 63 00:02:14,427 --> 00:02:16,012 it's back to the minivan, okay? 64 00:02:16,096 --> 00:02:17,597 -Well, I mean, don't. -Oh, why you got to put me in a cage? 65 00:02:17,722 --> 00:02:20,350 -I have no choice at this point. -Don't go crazy, don't go crazy. 66 00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:21,810 I need you to sign this. 67 00:02:22,060 --> 00:02:23,270 No. What is it? 68 00:02:23,353 --> 00:02:24,646 It's freakin' bullcrap. That's what it is. 69 00:02:24,729 --> 00:02:26,398 The lacrosse team was passing around some pic 70 00:02:26,481 --> 00:02:28,066 of some naked chick after practice. 71 00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:29,734 Off to a creepy start. 72 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,404 Then Principal Gibbons just pops out of nowhere 73 00:02:32,487 --> 00:02:34,239 and busts me. Now I have to go in front 74 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,992 of the honor board and tell 'em who else was involved. 75 00:02:37,075 --> 00:02:38,201 What's an honor board? 76 00:02:38,285 --> 00:02:39,744 Why don't you ask her? She's on it. 77 00:02:40,912 --> 00:02:43,415 (SIGHS) It's a committee of students and teachers 78 00:02:43,498 --> 00:02:44,916 that handle disciplinary matters. 79 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:46,835 Sounds like a committee of narcs and rats 80 00:02:46,918 --> 00:02:48,420 that handle snitching matters. 81 00:02:48,503 --> 00:02:50,171 I'm not a rat, okay? It just looks really good 82 00:02:50,255 --> 00:02:51,506 on your college applications. 83 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,633 Uh-oh. Nerd alert, Ben. 84 00:02:53,842 --> 00:02:55,635 (GIGGLES) Yeah. Nerd. Nerd. 85 00:02:55,719 --> 00:02:57,095 Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about. 86 00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,889 Well, I know I got to go in front of the stupid honor board 87 00:02:58,972 --> 00:03:00,098 with Larry Flynt here. 88 00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:01,266 This is not a joke. 89 00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:02,976 I am not joking. I don't want to do this. 90 00:03:03,268 --> 00:03:05,312 All right, if I rat out my teammates, they'll destroy me. 91 00:03:05,395 --> 00:03:07,772 And if I don't, Principal Gibbons will just crap 92 00:03:07,856 --> 00:03:09,190 all over my future. 93 00:03:09,274 --> 00:03:12,319 Guys, we don't snitch. That's it. End of story. 94 00:03:12,402 --> 00:03:15,238 He's not gonna snitch. He's just gonna tell the truth. 95 00:03:15,322 --> 00:03:17,908 Will you listen to yourself? "Just tell the truth." 96 00:03:18,283 --> 00:03:19,451 Let me tell you a little story about a guy 97 00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:21,786 I grew up with who just told the truth. 98 00:03:22,412 --> 00:03:25,498 Brendan Carthas. (GROWLS) Was very good-looking, 99 00:03:25,582 --> 00:03:27,334 but he got pinched with a whole backseat 100 00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:28,919 filled with bootleg Poison tapes. 101 00:03:29,002 --> 00:03:31,338 Cops offered him a deal. He took it. 102 00:03:31,421 --> 00:03:33,465 Then he wound up a few days later in the back 103 00:03:33,548 --> 00:03:34,925 of a garbage truck, getting crushed 104 00:03:35,008 --> 00:03:37,469 until his guts shot out of his butt like a tube of toothpaste. 105 00:03:37,552 --> 00:03:38,595 ALBA: Oh, no, no, no. Come on, Benito. 106 00:03:38,678 --> 00:03:39,679 We go now. Come on. 107 00:03:39,763 --> 00:03:40,805 -No, he should hear this. -(GRUNTS) 108 00:03:40,889 --> 00:03:42,349 -No, no, no. -Ben, you snitch, you die! 109 00:03:42,432 --> 00:03:43,433 -No! -SABRINA: Oh, God. 110 00:03:43,767 --> 00:03:44,935 Chip, listen to me, 111 00:03:45,018 --> 00:03:46,937 don't make this a thing, okay? 112 00:03:47,896 --> 00:03:50,148 No, actually, don't listen to her. I'll handle this, all right? 113 00:03:50,941 --> 00:03:52,150 And what if you don't? 114 00:03:52,234 --> 00:03:54,486 Then you shut your mouth and you do your time like a man, bitch. 115 00:03:54,569 --> 00:03:55,737 (GROANS) 116 00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:57,155 (GROANS) 117 00:03:57,614 --> 00:03:58,949 Wrong with these people? 118 00:04:02,244 --> 00:04:04,412 (TIRES SCREECH) 119 00:04:05,038 --> 00:04:07,290 ALBA: Okay, Benito, let's go. 120 00:04:07,374 --> 00:04:10,293 (SIGHS) Oh, be careful. Crazy drivers. 121 00:04:11,002 --> 00:04:12,337 Excuse me. 122 00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:13,922 Did you not see me waiting? 123 00:04:14,005 --> 00:04:15,423 Well, you waited too long, my friend. 124 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,092 Come on, Benito. 125 00:04:17,592 --> 00:04:20,845 Mmm. (CHUCKLING) 126 00:04:20,929 --> 00:04:22,180 That is very nice. Mmm. 127 00:04:22,264 --> 00:04:23,515 -(CAR ALARMS WAILING) -You tried to trick me, 128 00:04:23,598 --> 00:04:25,350 but that is blueberry. 129 00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:27,561 That is blueberry. That's good, that's good. 130 00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:29,479 Mmm. 131 00:04:29,563 --> 00:04:30,564 (ALARM CONTINUES) 132 00:04:30,647 --> 00:04:33,567 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 133 00:04:33,650 --> 00:04:35,068 Not the Rolls. 134 00:04:35,151 --> 00:04:36,403 Benito, did you see who did this? 135 00:04:36,486 --> 00:04:37,571 Yep. 136 00:04:37,779 --> 00:04:39,030 Tell me. Who did it, Benito? 137 00:04:39,281 --> 00:04:40,782 No way. I'm never gonna snitch. 138 00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:43,535 I don't want to be butt toothpaste. 139 00:04:45,662 --> 00:04:46,788 Um... 140 00:04:47,289 --> 00:04:49,332 -Hello. Can I help you? -Principal Gibbons? 141 00:04:49,416 --> 00:04:50,875 -Yes. -Hi there. I am Mickey. 142 00:04:51,501 --> 00:04:53,211 I'm, uh, Chip Pemberton's aunt. 143 00:04:53,295 --> 00:04:55,338 Oh. Well, please don't sit on my car. 144 00:04:55,630 --> 00:04:56,756 -Oh. -Yeah. 145 00:04:56,840 --> 00:05:00,594 Oh, and thank you for denting my hood. 146 00:05:00,677 --> 00:05:05,056 Oh. Pretty sure that was already there when I walked up. 147 00:05:05,140 --> 00:05:07,350 -It wasn't. No, that wasn't there, that... -Yeah, it was. No, it was there. 148 00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:08,602 What do you want? 149 00:05:08,685 --> 00:05:10,103 Well, I came to talk to you about Chip. 150 00:05:10,186 --> 00:05:12,397 -Yes, well, there was an incident... -He sucks. I get it. 151 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:13,773 And I'm pretty sure you get it, too. 152 00:05:13,857 --> 00:05:16,568 But is this really a fair position to be putting him in? 153 00:05:16,943 --> 00:05:18,653 How can I explain this to you? 154 00:05:18,737 --> 00:05:22,324 The success of our institution is ensconced in our values. 155 00:05:22,532 --> 00:05:24,034 And when these values swing askew, 156 00:05:24,117 --> 00:05:26,786 there are protocols in place to right the ship. 157 00:05:26,870 --> 00:05:28,830 Okay. Well, where I'm from, 158 00:05:28,914 --> 00:05:31,917 we don't have protocols, 'cause we aren't nerds. 159 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,335 But we do have values, 160 00:05:33,418 --> 00:05:34,961 and one of them is you don't snitch. 161 00:05:35,045 --> 00:05:36,588 Look, it's not up to me. 162 00:05:36,671 --> 00:05:38,590 We have an honor board for this very reason. 163 00:05:38,673 --> 00:05:40,634 Yeah, I heard all about your little honor board. 164 00:05:41,134 --> 00:05:43,053 And let me tell you about a guy I knew growing up 165 00:05:43,136 --> 00:05:45,013 who was also very honorable. 166 00:05:45,347 --> 00:05:47,599 Brendan Carthas. My God, he was so attractive. 167 00:05:47,682 --> 00:05:50,185 -This guy was... -Okay. I do not have time for this. 168 00:05:50,268 --> 00:05:51,269 No... Well, I'm coming back around to the snitching thing. 169 00:05:51,353 --> 00:05:52,354 I have a lunch meeting 170 00:05:52,437 --> 00:05:53,730 -that I'm late for. -I'm saying he was a hot senior. 171 00:05:53,813 --> 00:05:55,565 Took me many years to get him in the sack. I will see you at Chip's hearing. 172 00:05:56,691 --> 00:05:58,068 Hey, Chip, do you believe in God? 173 00:05:58,151 --> 00:05:59,194 What? 174 00:05:59,277 --> 00:06:00,403 Hey, Chip. 175 00:06:00,487 --> 00:06:01,529 Hey, Sabrina. 176 00:06:04,741 --> 00:06:05,951 (SIGHS) 177 00:06:07,035 --> 00:06:08,453 -Got good news. -What? 178 00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:09,955 -Fixed your Gibbons problem. -Really? 179 00:06:10,038 --> 00:06:11,831 Mmm-hmm. All you have to do is tell him who sent you 180 00:06:11,915 --> 00:06:13,750 that picture, he's gonna cancel the honor board 181 00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:15,835 and save you the public humiliation. 182 00:06:15,919 --> 00:06:17,504 How is this good news? 183 00:06:17,587 --> 00:06:19,631 Then everyone's gonna call me a traitor like you. 184 00:06:19,714 --> 00:06:21,174 Chip, take the deal. 185 00:06:21,258 --> 00:06:22,634 PIERCE: Hey, Chip! 186 00:06:23,510 --> 00:06:24,761 Come over here, man. 187 00:06:25,011 --> 00:06:26,096 (WHISPERS) Don't do it. 188 00:06:28,682 --> 00:06:29,891 Later, traitor. 189 00:06:32,561 --> 00:06:34,062 Hey, guys. What's up? 190 00:06:34,145 --> 00:06:35,355 Take a seat, man. 191 00:06:37,691 --> 00:06:39,776 So I heard Gibbons nabbed you yesterday. 192 00:06:40,151 --> 00:06:42,988 Oh, yeah. Uh, don't worry about it. It was worth it. 193 00:06:43,071 --> 00:06:46,324 Uh, the picture was... insane. 194 00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:47,993 Who's that girl? 195 00:06:48,076 --> 00:06:49,536 (CHUCKLES) 196 00:06:49,619 --> 00:06:52,080 Who knows, man? Ragosa's the king, huh? 197 00:06:52,163 --> 00:06:55,125 Yeah, he is. Uh, I was up all night. Was really worked up. 198 00:06:55,834 --> 00:06:57,002 (LAUGHS) 199 00:06:57,502 --> 00:07:00,338 I like this kid, you know? He's insatiable. 200 00:07:00,422 --> 00:07:01,923 We got to get him a nickname, quick. 201 00:07:02,007 --> 00:07:03,800 -Beaver Dog. -Yes! Yes. 202 00:07:03,884 --> 00:07:07,220 That is 100% it. What do you think, Beaver Dog? You like it? 203 00:07:07,804 --> 00:07:10,724 Um, yeah. I mean, if... if you guys do. 204 00:07:10,807 --> 00:07:11,808 I love it. 205 00:07:11,892 --> 00:07:13,685 Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night? 206 00:07:13,768 --> 00:07:15,353 Want to come by The Pit? 207 00:07:15,979 --> 00:07:17,439 The Pit? Really? 208 00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:19,357 Are eighth graders even allowed there? 209 00:07:19,441 --> 00:07:20,525 You'll be with us. 210 00:07:20,775 --> 00:07:22,152 PIERCE: Yeah, man. We'll hook you up. 211 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:23,528 See you there, Beaver Dog. 212 00:07:23,612 --> 00:07:25,238 You the man, B-Diddy. 213 00:07:27,699 --> 00:07:29,159 I am the man. 214 00:07:29,826 --> 00:07:31,286 PIERCE: Yo, grab our trays! 215 00:07:31,661 --> 00:07:33,204 Yeah, yeah. On it. 216 00:07:36,291 --> 00:07:39,169 Mmm, would you like some delicious cake, Benito? 217 00:07:39,252 --> 00:07:40,670 -Yes, please. -Whoa! 218 00:07:40,837 --> 00:07:42,214 -Not so fast. -First, 219 00:07:42,297 --> 00:07:44,299 tell me who scratched the car. 220 00:07:47,302 --> 00:07:48,428 Okay. 221 00:07:50,222 --> 00:07:52,599 Mmm. Delicious. 222 00:07:53,266 --> 00:07:54,684 You must try this. Mmm. 223 00:07:54,768 --> 00:07:58,146 So good. Just say the words, and it can be yours. 224 00:07:58,813 --> 00:07:59,940 Mmm. 225 00:08:00,023 --> 00:08:01,566 -But Mickey said... -(SLAMS FORK) 226 00:08:02,359 --> 00:08:03,735 Mickey isn't here. 227 00:08:03,818 --> 00:08:04,819 I am! 228 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:06,738 Me. 229 00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:08,323 Your best friend. 230 00:08:09,074 --> 00:08:11,368 So, what's it gonna be? 231 00:08:13,703 --> 00:08:16,122 Oh, it's like that, huh? Okay. 232 00:08:16,748 --> 00:08:18,166 That is fine. 233 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:19,376 I didn't want it 234 00:08:19,459 --> 00:08:20,794 to come down like this, 235 00:08:20,877 --> 00:08:23,004 but you leave me no other choice. 236 00:08:23,088 --> 00:08:25,757 (BOTH LAUGH) 237 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,592 Now tell me! Who did it, Benito? 238 00:08:27,676 --> 00:08:29,427 -Who did it? Who did it? -(COUGHING) 239 00:08:29,511 --> 00:08:30,804 (GASPING) Wait! Stop! 240 00:08:30,887 --> 00:08:32,639 Benito? Benito, Benito? 241 00:08:32,722 --> 00:08:34,724 (WHEEZING) I need... my... inhaler. 242 00:08:34,808 --> 00:08:36,810 Oh, no, no, no, okay, okay, okay, Benito, hold on. 243 00:08:36,893 --> 00:08:38,770 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 244 00:08:38,853 --> 00:08:40,105 (CONTINUES GASPING) Shh. 245 00:08:40,188 --> 00:08:42,190 Oh. Here. Here, here, here. 246 00:08:42,274 --> 00:08:44,818 No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 247 00:08:44,901 --> 00:08:46,069 Is this what you want? 248 00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:50,031 I can't... breathe. 249 00:08:50,115 --> 00:08:51,658 What was that? I couldn't hear you. 250 00:08:51,741 --> 00:08:52,909 You can't breathe? 251 00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:58,623 Oh, you help me, and I help you. 252 00:08:59,124 --> 00:09:00,166 Talk! 253 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:01,501 Okay... I'll talk. 254 00:09:02,002 --> 00:09:03,753 Good boy, Benito. 255 00:09:03,837 --> 00:09:06,256 -(INHALES DEEPLY) -That's right, breathe. 256 00:09:06,339 --> 00:09:07,841 Nice, nice. 257 00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:10,176 Okay. 258 00:09:10,552 --> 00:09:11,803 Tell me everything. 259 00:09:13,513 --> 00:09:15,682 -It was a man. -Mmm-hmm. 260 00:09:15,765 --> 00:09:18,268 (PANTING) He had hair... and a face... 261 00:09:18,351 --> 00:09:21,062 and he drove away... in a car. 262 00:09:21,146 --> 00:09:22,606 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 263 00:09:22,689 --> 00:09:24,024 That's it? 264 00:09:24,107 --> 00:09:26,276 Can I have cake now? 265 00:09:26,735 --> 00:09:28,403 Yes. Enjoy your cake. 266 00:09:29,529 --> 00:09:32,574 (HEART BEATING) 267 00:09:32,657 --> 00:09:33,950 CHIP: Hey, guys? 268 00:09:34,451 --> 00:09:35,952 Pierce? 269 00:09:37,662 --> 00:09:39,039 Anyone here? 270 00:09:39,623 --> 00:09:40,832 GIRL: Over here. 271 00:09:42,334 --> 00:09:44,044 Hi, Chip. 272 00:09:44,127 --> 00:09:45,879 I've been waiting for you. 273 00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:47,839 I knew you'd come. 274 00:09:48,965 --> 00:09:50,342 (GASPS) 275 00:10:03,939 --> 00:10:04,940 It's juice. 276 00:10:05,649 --> 00:10:06,983 Gross. 277 00:10:09,277 --> 00:10:10,612 Okay. 278 00:10:10,695 --> 00:10:13,657 That... should... do it. 279 00:10:14,366 --> 00:10:17,619 Okay... no. 280 00:10:17,702 --> 00:10:18,745 Cool. 281 00:10:18,828 --> 00:10:20,080 You gave it stripes. 282 00:10:26,962 --> 00:10:28,129 What... 283 00:10:29,005 --> 00:10:30,799 -Welcome home. -What the hell did you do to my room? 284 00:10:30,882 --> 00:10:32,968 -Oh, I destroyed it. -Why? 285 00:10:33,051 --> 00:10:35,303 Had a little chat with your friend Principal Gibbons. 286 00:10:35,845 --> 00:10:37,556 He says that it's not up to him 287 00:10:37,639 --> 00:10:38,682 what happens to Chip. 288 00:10:38,765 --> 00:10:41,351 -He says it's up to you. -It is not up to me. 289 00:10:41,434 --> 00:10:43,311 There's an entire honor board that decides. 290 00:10:43,395 --> 00:10:44,688 Well, you better figure something out, 291 00:10:44,771 --> 00:10:46,106 because if you don't, 292 00:10:46,189 --> 00:10:48,733 -I'm gonna have to go public with this. -What the hell is that? 293 00:10:49,776 --> 00:10:51,736 It's a little machine, and you stick it into your computer. 294 00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:53,530 Yeah, I know what it is. What's on it? 295 00:10:54,239 --> 00:10:55,865 Oh, it's your entire hard drive. 296 00:10:55,949 --> 00:10:58,410 And I've got a feeling it's not all that honorable. 297 00:10:58,952 --> 00:11:01,288 (GASPS) Oh. Oh, I was right. 298 00:11:01,538 --> 00:11:03,248 I want you to listen to me right now. 299 00:11:03,331 --> 00:11:04,874 I own you. Ah... 300 00:11:09,004 --> 00:11:10,088 Yeah... 301 00:11:10,839 --> 00:11:12,340 You were just gonna snitch on me. 302 00:11:12,424 --> 00:11:14,467 What? Like hell. 303 00:11:14,551 --> 00:11:16,428 That's called extortion, stupid. 304 00:11:16,845 --> 00:11:18,305 CHIP: Hey, guys. 305 00:11:19,639 --> 00:11:21,349 Hi. Hey, looking good. 306 00:11:21,433 --> 00:11:22,934 Hey, man. 307 00:11:23,018 --> 00:11:24,853 (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) 308 00:11:27,063 --> 00:11:28,815 Beaver Dog has arrived. 309 00:11:29,065 --> 00:11:30,066 (GROANING) 310 00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:31,192 (LAUGHTER) 311 00:11:31,276 --> 00:11:32,611 What's the matter, Chippy? 312 00:11:32,694 --> 00:11:33,820 Pinecone got your nuts? 313 00:11:33,904 --> 00:11:35,363 Ooh, freakin' Geno Pinero! (GROANS) 314 00:11:35,447 --> 00:11:36,489 SABRINA: Hey, 315 00:11:36,573 --> 00:11:37,824 what the hell are you doing here? 316 00:11:37,908 --> 00:11:39,784 Lax guys invited me. 317 00:11:39,868 --> 00:11:41,620 Chip, those guys are just covering their own asses. 318 00:11:41,703 --> 00:11:43,079 They don't even like you. 319 00:11:43,955 --> 00:11:45,749 I don't think they'd call me Beaver Dog 320 00:11:45,832 --> 00:11:47,208 if they didn't like me. 321 00:11:47,292 --> 00:11:48,585 What? 322 00:11:48,668 --> 00:11:50,003 Beaver Dog. It's my nickname. 323 00:11:50,086 --> 00:11:51,922 -No, it's not. -Uh, yeah it is. 324 00:11:52,005 --> 00:11:53,215 The guys gave it to me. 325 00:11:53,298 --> 00:11:55,926 Chip, as easily as I can save you in this world, 326 00:11:56,009 --> 00:11:57,052 I can destroy you. 327 00:11:57,135 --> 00:11:59,387 And that is exactly what I will do if you don't go home right now. 328 00:11:59,471 --> 00:12:01,806 -Beaver Dog! -You've got to be kidding me. 329 00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:03,433 'Sup, Sabrina? 330 00:12:03,516 --> 00:12:04,643 You coming to the Brunswick game? 331 00:12:05,936 --> 00:12:07,103 Tool. 332 00:12:07,812 --> 00:12:09,439 Your sister needs a hug, man. 333 00:12:09,522 --> 00:12:10,732 Yeah. 334 00:12:10,815 --> 00:12:13,235 You guys sure it's okay I'm here? 335 00:12:13,318 --> 00:12:16,029 Absolutely. Dude, you're one of us now, okay? 336 00:12:16,112 --> 00:12:18,740 So if anybody messes with you, just, like, let us know, okay? 337 00:12:18,823 --> 00:12:19,824 CHIP: Okay. 338 00:12:19,908 --> 00:12:21,910 I mean, Geno Pinero 339 00:12:21,993 --> 00:12:24,663 just kind of smoked me in the nuts with a pinecone. 340 00:12:24,746 --> 00:12:26,957 Oh, with a dong like that, you'd think he'd be happier. 341 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,333 Yeah. 342 00:12:28,416 --> 00:12:30,252 Don't worry, we'll take care of it, okay? 343 00:12:30,335 --> 00:12:31,878 I'm thinking monkey business? 344 00:12:31,962 --> 00:12:33,338 Done. 345 00:12:33,421 --> 00:12:34,756 What's "monkey business"? 346 00:12:34,839 --> 00:12:35,924 Just step back. 347 00:12:38,927 --> 00:12:40,053 He's got to find it. 348 00:12:40,136 --> 00:12:41,137 Yeah. 349 00:12:45,475 --> 00:12:46,560 Ooh. 350 00:12:46,977 --> 00:12:48,603 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh... 351 00:12:51,439 --> 00:12:54,067 (RAP MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 352 00:12:55,902 --> 00:12:57,362 -Get off me! -PIERCE: Hey, hey, hey! 353 00:12:57,445 --> 00:12:58,947 What the hell, man? 354 00:12:59,030 --> 00:13:01,074 Don't hit that monkey. What's the matter with you? 355 00:13:01,157 --> 00:13:03,285 -(STAMMERING) I didn't hit a monkey. -What is the matter with you? 356 00:13:03,368 --> 00:13:05,036 -You didn't hit that monkey just now? -I-I didn't... 357 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,288 Chip, you see Geno hit that monkey just now? 358 00:13:06,371 --> 00:13:07,497 That's not... 359 00:13:07,581 --> 00:13:09,874 Uh, yeah? Yeah! He saw you hit the monkey, Geno. 360 00:13:09,958 --> 00:13:11,334 And you messed up, because 361 00:13:11,418 --> 00:13:12,627 that's Chip's monkey, okay? 362 00:13:12,961 --> 00:13:14,588 -Now apologize. -Monkey? Are you serious? 363 00:13:14,671 --> 00:13:16,006 Does it look like I'm playing, Pinero? 364 00:13:16,089 --> 00:13:17,716 Okay, okay, fine. I'm sorry. 365 00:13:17,799 --> 00:13:19,509 -For what? -For hitting the monkey. 366 00:13:19,593 --> 00:13:20,969 -Hey, really, it's okay. -PIERCE: Whose... 367 00:13:21,052 --> 00:13:22,178 No, it's not okay, Chip. 368 00:13:22,262 --> 00:13:24,931 Whose monkey are you sorry for hitting, Pinero? 369 00:13:25,015 --> 00:13:26,683 -GENO: Chip's monkey. -PIERCE: Say it again! 370 00:13:26,766 --> 00:13:27,976 I'm sorry for hitting Chip's monkey. 371 00:13:28,059 --> 00:13:29,811 I'm sorry for hitting Chip's monkey. Just get off of me. 372 00:13:29,895 --> 00:13:30,896 You good, bro? 373 00:13:31,187 --> 00:13:32,856 Yeah, I'm good. Just stop. 374 00:13:35,275 --> 00:13:37,068 You're lucky my boy's got a good heart. 375 00:13:37,152 --> 00:13:39,863 Don't let me catch you beating up on monkeys ever again. 376 00:13:40,155 --> 00:13:41,781 Now get out of here. 377 00:13:44,117 --> 00:13:45,869 Lax for life? 378 00:13:45,952 --> 00:13:47,495 Lax for life. 379 00:13:47,579 --> 00:13:49,915 Come on, we have to feed him after this. 380 00:13:49,998 --> 00:13:52,000 -He gets very hungry. Come on. -Okay. 381 00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:53,627 Nice work today. 382 00:13:53,710 --> 00:13:55,295 It's been a big day for you, huh? 383 00:13:59,132 --> 00:14:00,342 SABRINA: Hey. 384 00:14:00,425 --> 00:14:01,927 -Buckle up, bitch. -I hate you. 385 00:14:02,010 --> 00:14:03,762 -Same. -Hey, hey! Shoo! 386 00:14:03,845 --> 00:14:05,931 -Get away from my client. -Is that Mom's suit? 387 00:14:06,014 --> 00:14:08,141 Used to be Mom's suit, now it's my suit. 388 00:14:08,225 --> 00:14:09,935 -Oh, your breath reeks of booze. -Oh, does it? 389 00:14:10,018 --> 00:14:11,937 -Yeah. -You gonna go tell on me, Donnie Brasco? 390 00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:13,104 Get the hell out of here. 391 00:14:13,188 --> 00:14:14,773 (SNICKERS) Ugh. 392 00:14:14,856 --> 00:14:15,941 Hope you have a plan. 393 00:14:16,024 --> 00:14:17,776 Yeah, I'll pop 'em in or something. 394 00:14:17,859 --> 00:14:19,236 For the hearing! 395 00:14:19,319 --> 00:14:20,695 Oh, yeah. Oh, are you kidding me? Of course I do! 396 00:14:20,779 --> 00:14:23,990 No, I was up all night watching prep school movies in preparation. 397 00:14:24,074 --> 00:14:26,993 I got Scent of a Woman, Dead Poets Society, 398 00:14:27,077 --> 00:14:28,119 uh, Deep Blue Sea, 399 00:14:28,203 --> 00:14:30,038 -School Ties. -By the way, 400 00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:31,915 it's a good thing you're not a Jew, 401 00:14:31,998 --> 00:14:34,960 because that seems to be quite the deal-breaker in this world. 402 00:14:35,043 --> 00:14:36,962 Did you say Deep Blue Sea? The shark movie? 403 00:14:37,045 --> 00:14:38,880 -Oh, yeah, yeah. -You seen it recently? Ugh. 404 00:14:38,964 --> 00:14:40,048 -No, no. -Totally holds up. 405 00:14:40,131 --> 00:14:41,758 -Hey, you ready? -Yeah. 406 00:14:41,841 --> 00:14:43,134 -You ready? You ready for this? -All right. Yeah. 407 00:14:43,218 --> 00:14:45,053 -Yeah? You ready? Huh? You ready for this? -Please. Stop. 408 00:14:45,136 --> 00:14:46,346 -Huh? Huh? -Okay. Yeah! 409 00:14:46,429 --> 00:14:47,889 -You ready for this? -All right. Yeah, just... please? 410 00:14:47,973 --> 00:14:50,684 Let's go stomp on those Jew-hating bastards. 411 00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:52,185 (SOFTLY) Okay. 412 00:14:52,727 --> 00:14:54,437 -It's this way. -Huh? 413 00:14:54,563 --> 00:14:55,730 Oh, yeah. 414 00:14:57,399 --> 00:14:58,400 (SIGHS) 415 00:14:59,109 --> 00:15:00,360 Ugh. 416 00:15:00,443 --> 00:15:02,153 This is even sicker than I thought. 417 00:15:02,237 --> 00:15:03,989 There is some real evil 418 00:15:04,072 --> 00:15:06,199 Illuminati-type vibes in here, right? 419 00:15:06,741 --> 00:15:07,993 The hell are those? 420 00:15:08,076 --> 00:15:09,119 My notes. 421 00:15:09,911 --> 00:15:11,204 Oh, God. 422 00:15:11,997 --> 00:15:12,998 (CLEARS THROAT) 423 00:15:13,123 --> 00:15:14,291 We gather, 424 00:15:14,374 --> 00:15:16,001 as so many before us have, 425 00:15:16,084 --> 00:15:18,003 -in the quest for truth. -Yes, thank you. 426 00:15:18,086 --> 00:15:20,005 No, that's... that's not... 427 00:15:20,088 --> 00:15:22,007 how it works, just... sit down, please. 428 00:15:22,090 --> 00:15:25,218 As I was saying, we are here in search of the truth. 429 00:15:25,302 --> 00:15:27,095 Now, is there a board member who feels compelled to begin... 430 00:15:27,178 --> 00:15:29,139 Yes, there is. Thank you so much, Principal Gibbons. 431 00:15:29,222 --> 00:15:30,390 Chip, 432 00:15:30,473 --> 00:15:33,226 would you categorize yourself as popular? 433 00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:36,521 I'm on the lacrosse team, so I'm popular. 434 00:15:36,605 --> 00:15:38,064 (TEAM CHEERING) 435 00:15:38,148 --> 00:15:39,816 GIBBONS: Nope, nope, nope. 436 00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:42,027 -(GAVEL POUNDING) -Yes. 437 00:15:42,527 --> 00:15:44,821 The lacrosse team, and proud we are 438 00:15:44,905 --> 00:15:46,364 of all they do for our school. 439 00:15:47,407 --> 00:15:49,075 Typically, there isn't much interaction 440 00:15:49,159 --> 00:15:51,244 between middle school and varsity players, 441 00:15:51,328 --> 00:15:53,038 though that isn't true in your case, is it? 442 00:15:54,039 --> 00:15:55,123 I guess not. 443 00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:56,875 Hmm. Why do you think that is? 444 00:15:57,626 --> 00:16:00,170 I don't know. Probably something to do with... 445 00:16:00,962 --> 00:16:02,130 -my speed. -Mmm-hmm. 446 00:16:02,214 --> 00:16:03,215 SABRINA: Your speed. 447 00:16:03,298 --> 00:16:05,967 Yes, I'm sure they're all enamored with your speed. 448 00:16:06,051 --> 00:16:07,260 He is very fast. 449 00:16:07,344 --> 00:16:08,345 Oh, please don't. 450 00:16:08,428 --> 00:16:09,763 I know because I raced him once. 451 00:16:09,846 --> 00:16:12,015 -All right. -I did win, but that's... 452 00:16:12,098 --> 00:16:13,433 because I'm also very fast. 453 00:16:13,934 --> 00:16:14,976 SABRINA: Chip... 454 00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:16,686 who sent you the photo? 455 00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:18,021 CHIP: Uh... 456 00:16:18,104 --> 00:16:19,272 I don't know. 457 00:16:20,774 --> 00:16:22,567 -Nobody. -So, it was yours, then? 458 00:16:22,651 --> 00:16:23,860 Well, no, it wasn't mine. 459 00:16:23,944 --> 00:16:25,904 Huh. So, it must've appeared out of thin air. 460 00:16:25,987 --> 00:16:27,030 Obviously, it didn't appear... 461 00:16:27,113 --> 00:16:28,198 SABRINA: Chip, it's come to my attention 462 00:16:28,281 --> 00:16:29,699 that you were recently given a nickname. 463 00:16:29,783 --> 00:16:32,786 Would you please share said nickname with the board? 464 00:16:34,287 --> 00:16:35,455 (WHISPERS) Beaver Dog. 465 00:16:35,997 --> 00:16:37,832 Couldn't quite catch that, Chip. 466 00:16:39,292 --> 00:16:40,502 -Beaver Dog. -What? 467 00:16:40,585 --> 00:16:42,504 -STEWART: Yeah! Beaver Dog! -Okay, this is ridiculous. 468 00:16:42,587 --> 00:16:44,589 -Oh, sit down. -No, I'm done sitting down! 469 00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:47,342 I've been around, you know. 470 00:16:48,301 --> 00:16:49,469 There was a time 471 00:16:49,553 --> 00:16:51,304 I could see and I have seen. 472 00:16:52,597 --> 00:16:53,682 Brendan Carthas. 473 00:16:54,724 --> 00:16:56,726 You want to ask him about snitching? 474 00:16:56,810 --> 00:16:59,521 Oopsie, too bad. You can't. Do you want to know why? 475 00:16:59,604 --> 00:17:00,730 'Cause he's dead. 476 00:17:00,814 --> 00:17:02,732 Okay, can we please get to the point? 477 00:17:02,816 --> 00:17:04,067 Oh, I'm just getting warmed up. 478 00:17:04,150 --> 00:17:05,318 Now, I don't know 479 00:17:05,402 --> 00:17:07,362 if Chip's silence is right or wrong, 480 00:17:07,821 --> 00:17:08,822 but this is bigger than us. 481 00:17:10,031 --> 00:17:14,411 This is about two words... Mon-ey. Wall Street. 482 00:17:15,161 --> 00:17:17,414 That Indian guy outside the bodega, 483 00:17:17,497 --> 00:17:21,251 pocketing ten bucks to get you a porno mag, he's gone. 484 00:17:21,334 --> 00:17:23,253 He's long gone, and he's left us 485 00:17:23,336 --> 00:17:26,548 to spin inside this sticky web of technology 486 00:17:26,631 --> 00:17:27,966 and swiping. 487 00:17:28,049 --> 00:17:29,509 Hey, don't swipe me, man. 488 00:17:29,593 --> 00:17:31,136 What in God's name are you talking... 489 00:17:31,219 --> 00:17:33,555 You think they wanted the sharks to get smarter? 490 00:17:34,264 --> 00:17:36,141 It just happened. 491 00:17:36,224 --> 00:17:38,435 And they all got eaten because of it. 492 00:17:39,644 --> 00:17:40,896 Are we gonna eat this boy? 493 00:17:41,938 --> 00:17:43,231 Do you all want 494 00:17:43,315 --> 00:17:46,151 to eat this boy because someone gave him something? 495 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:50,322 I can do the math. One, two, three, not it. 496 00:17:50,405 --> 00:17:52,365 Uh... and Chip didn't ask to be it. 497 00:17:52,449 --> 00:17:54,367 -Did you ask to be it? -Nah. 498 00:17:54,451 --> 00:17:55,535 You hear that? 499 00:17:56,328 --> 00:17:57,329 "Nah." 500 00:17:58,413 --> 00:17:59,539 And now you want him 501 00:17:59,623 --> 00:18:02,208 to sell out his unquenchable sexual appetite 502 00:18:02,292 --> 00:18:03,585 and his integrity? 503 00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:05,587 I got news for you, friends. 504 00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:07,130 Neither one are for sale. 505 00:18:08,215 --> 00:18:09,591 This young man 506 00:18:09,674 --> 00:18:11,218 chooses honor. 507 00:18:13,803 --> 00:18:15,263 He chooses life. 508 00:18:17,766 --> 00:18:19,476 He chooses lust. 509 00:18:24,064 --> 00:18:26,483 We are but food for worms, gentlemen. 510 00:18:27,651 --> 00:18:28,652 Worms. 511 00:18:30,862 --> 00:18:33,073 I think it's best we take a short recess, 512 00:18:33,156 --> 00:18:35,992 so we can all process what has been said here today. 513 00:18:36,076 --> 00:18:38,787 -It's a lot. -I, myself, am confused. 514 00:18:40,622 --> 00:18:41,748 (QUIETLY) You're welcome. 515 00:18:59,724 --> 00:19:00,767 What... 516 00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:02,060 Ugh, get away from me! 517 00:19:02,143 --> 00:19:04,354 -What's wrong with you? -It's you! 518 00:19:04,437 --> 00:19:06,273 -What's me? -You're the girl. 519 00:19:06,356 --> 00:19:08,525 The picture from Robby Ragosa. It's you. 520 00:19:08,608 --> 00:19:10,277 -No, but you were... -(COUGHS) 521 00:19:10,819 --> 00:19:12,237 -You... -(GROANS) 522 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,156 (GAGS) No, no, no! 523 00:19:16,241 --> 00:19:18,243 GIBBONS: As soon as everyone is seated, 524 00:19:18,326 --> 00:19:20,370 -we can begin the hearings again. -No, we can't! 525 00:19:20,453 --> 00:19:22,455 Hey! It was Pierce and Stewart! 526 00:19:22,539 --> 00:19:23,665 -SABRINA: Expel them both! -CHIP: They did it! 527 00:19:23,748 --> 00:19:25,041 -Not me! -Gone! 528 00:19:25,125 --> 00:19:26,668 -It was Stewart. -No, no, it was Pierce. 529 00:19:26,751 --> 00:19:27,752 SABRINA: I want them out of here! 530 00:19:27,836 --> 00:19:28,920 -Screw you, dude. -SABRINA: Get them! 531 00:19:29,004 --> 00:19:30,005 I didn't do it! 532 00:19:30,088 --> 00:19:31,840 (ALL SHOUTING, ARGUING) 533 00:19:31,923 --> 00:19:33,300 -Leave! Now! -They're the perverts! 534 00:19:36,636 --> 00:19:39,180 Now, you remember what I told you, Benito? 535 00:19:39,598 --> 00:19:42,350 That minivans are for soccer moms and pedophiles. 536 00:19:42,726 --> 00:19:43,727 No, the other thing. 537 00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:45,979 That I can never tell anyone about this. 538 00:19:46,062 --> 00:19:47,105 That's right. 539 00:19:47,188 --> 00:19:48,189 I'm not a snitch. 540 00:19:48,481 --> 00:19:49,482 I know. 541 00:19:50,191 --> 00:19:51,902 But I'm gonna need you to prove it. 542 00:19:52,611 --> 00:19:54,362 Torch that son of a bitch. 543 00:19:54,863 --> 00:19:56,364 Okay. 544 00:20:02,537 --> 00:20:04,289 Okay. (SPEAKS SPANISH) 545 00:20:04,372 --> 00:20:06,499 Come on. Come on, come on, come on. 546 00:20:08,376 --> 00:20:10,795 Good. Good boy. 547 00:20:13,882 --> 00:20:16,009 Whoa. Okay. 548 00:20:16,092 --> 00:20:17,886 It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. 549 00:20:17,969 --> 00:20:19,721 You know, Benito, 550 00:20:20,222 --> 00:20:24,935 if anyone ever messes with you, like a teacher or a coach, 551 00:20:25,018 --> 00:20:26,102 then you can snitch, okay? 552 00:20:26,186 --> 00:20:27,312 Okay. 553 00:20:27,395 --> 00:20:29,439 Good boy. 554 00:20:29,522 --> 00:20:31,524 -I like fire. -Ah. 555 00:20:31,608 --> 00:20:33,151 I know you do, Benito. 556 00:20:34,486 --> 00:20:36,029 I know you do. 557 00:20:47,249 --> 00:20:48,708 What'd everybody do today? 558 00:20:52,212 --> 00:20:53,338 Nothing. 559 00:20:53,421 --> 00:20:55,423 Yeah. Very boring day. 560 00:20:55,507 --> 00:20:56,716 (DOOR CLOSES) 561 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:57,842 Yeah. 562 00:21:00,011 --> 00:21:01,346 Hey. 563 00:21:01,763 --> 00:21:03,473 How'd your first game on varsity go? 564 00:21:03,557 --> 00:21:04,849 How do you think it went? 565 00:21:04,933 --> 00:21:07,769 Thanks to me, we had all our best players expelled. 566 00:21:19,281 --> 00:21:21,825 Real weird energy in here today, huh? 567 00:21:37,465 --> 00:21:38,508 STEWART: Beaver Dog!