1 00:00:02,879 --> 00:00:05,799 -(CAR HORN HONKS) -(SCHOOL BELL RINGS) 2 00:00:05,882 --> 00:00:07,217 (TIRES SCREECH) 3 00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:08,426 MAN: Look out! 4 00:00:08,510 --> 00:00:11,096 -(HORN HONKING) -MICKEY: Whoa! Move it, idiots! 5 00:00:14,933 --> 00:00:16,268 All right, everybody out. 6 00:00:16,351 --> 00:00:18,728 Go learn a bunch of stuff you'll never use. 7 00:00:18,812 --> 00:00:21,064 "Bye, Aunt Mickey. Thank you. 8 00:00:21,147 --> 00:00:22,566 "I recognize I'm not your kid. 9 00:00:22,649 --> 00:00:24,985 "It totally blows to wake up at 7:00 a.m." That's okay, Sabrina. 10 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,653 Thanks for saying thanks. Bye. 11 00:00:27,153 --> 00:00:28,196 CHIP: Yeah, don't forget... 12 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,490 Ben and I need a ride to the dentist tomorrow after school. 13 00:00:30,574 --> 00:00:32,284 Sounds like a Jimmy job. 14 00:00:32,367 --> 00:00:33,618 What? Why? 15 00:00:33,702 --> 00:00:34,953 -'Cause I don't want to do it. -No. 16 00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:37,080 I mean, why do they have to go to the dentist at all? 17 00:00:37,163 --> 00:00:38,498 We're getting our teeth cleaned. 18 00:00:38,582 --> 00:00:40,083 Yeah, well, don't you have a toothbrush? 19 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:41,960 God, your generation's gone soft. 20 00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:43,753 Dentists aren't our generation. 21 00:00:43,837 --> 00:00:45,964 Well, they're not my generation, okay? 22 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:48,300 I've never even been to one, and I'm doing just fine. 23 00:00:48,383 --> 00:00:51,136 You've had that tooth rotting out of your face for at least five years. 24 00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:52,679 And do you hear me complaining about it? 25 00:00:52,762 --> 00:00:54,097 No, because I chew on the other side, 26 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,558 and I avoid hot and colds. My body is my dentist. 27 00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:59,227 When that bad tooth is ready to come out, it will expel it naturally. 28 00:00:59,311 --> 00:01:00,896 Oh, boy. Nope, school po-po coming. 29 00:01:00,979 --> 00:01:03,273 Come on, everybody out. Go, go, go, go, go. Quick, quick, quick. 30 00:01:03,356 --> 00:01:05,650 -Come on. Out. No. Okay. Go, go. -Ms. Molng, may I have a word, please? 31 00:01:05,734 --> 00:01:07,569 You know what? If this is about the car, it's cool... 32 00:01:07,652 --> 00:01:10,113 It isn't. I mean, don't do it again, but I actually wanted 33 00:01:10,196 --> 00:01:12,240 to talk to you about an ongoing bullying situation 34 00:01:12,324 --> 00:01:13,658 involving one of your kids. 35 00:01:13,742 --> 00:01:16,286 Well, yeah, you know, that's just sort of bound to happen. 36 00:01:16,369 --> 00:01:19,331 Chip's a walking target, isn't he? I got to be honest. 37 00:01:19,414 --> 00:01:21,333 If it were appropriate for me to beat the hell out him, 38 00:01:21,416 --> 00:01:22,709 I'd... I would do it on a daily basis. 39 00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:25,587 This isn't about Chip. This is about Sabrina. 40 00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:28,298 Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's tough. She's the worst. 41 00:01:28,381 --> 00:01:30,967 I've been on the receiving end of that for months now. 42 00:01:31,051 --> 00:01:33,094 She tears me down, I build myself back up. 43 00:01:33,178 --> 00:01:35,305 She tears me down, I build myself back up again. 44 00:01:35,388 --> 00:01:38,308 I got to be honest. I'm running out of building supplies. 45 00:01:38,391 --> 00:01:40,518 Well, I'm sorry you're doing so much building, 46 00:01:40,602 --> 00:01:42,979 but it's actually Sabrina who's being bullied. 47 00:01:44,356 --> 00:01:45,982 Oh. Come again? 48 00:01:46,066 --> 00:01:49,027 It seems that she has been excommunicated from her 49 00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,403 friend group, and since 50 00:01:50,487 --> 00:01:52,572 she is quite possibly our most popular student, 51 00:01:52,656 --> 00:01:55,408 it's had a ripple effect on our entire ecosystem. 52 00:01:56,701 --> 00:01:59,412 All right, are we talking about the same Sabrina? 53 00:01:59,496 --> 00:02:01,331 Dark hair? Pretty in 54 00:02:01,414 --> 00:02:03,375 -a terrifying kind of way? -I've spoken to her. 55 00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:04,542 She won't open up. You're her aunt. 56 00:02:04,626 --> 00:02:06,336 Perhaps you can get through to her. 57 00:02:06,419 --> 00:02:08,922 Yeah. Yeah, probably. Yeah, I'll get right on it. 58 00:02:09,005 --> 00:02:10,340 Thanks for the heads up. 59 00:02:13,468 --> 00:02:15,637 (BOTH CACKLING) 60 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,931 She's getting bullied! 61 00:02:18,014 --> 00:02:19,641 It's so good. 62 00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:22,561 Well, you know, karma is a fair, but merciless bitch. 63 00:02:22,644 --> 00:02:26,231 Oh, yeah. Normally, I would never, never wish harm on anyone, 64 00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,567 but the thought of Sabrina eating lunch by herself, 65 00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:30,986 oh, is so nice. 66 00:02:31,069 --> 00:02:32,195 So good. 67 00:02:32,279 --> 00:02:33,989 I mean, this might be the best thing 68 00:02:34,072 --> 00:02:35,699 -that's ever happened to her. -Oh, yeah. 69 00:02:35,782 --> 00:02:38,827 -I mean, knock her down a peg. -Yeah, she made her mean bed 70 00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:41,997 and now she can sleep in those scratchy sheets. 71 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,207 Sleep in scratchy sheets, you bitch, right? 72 00:02:44,291 --> 00:02:45,417 Oh, yeah. 73 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:47,043 Good night. 74 00:02:47,127 --> 00:02:48,545 -(DOOR SLAMS) -Sweet dreams. Good luck. 75 00:02:48,628 --> 00:02:50,338 Oh! Oh! Tough day at the office? 76 00:02:50,422 --> 00:02:52,883 What the hell did you just say to me? 77 00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:57,846 Just a... You know, just a quick dig on your way by. 78 00:02:57,929 --> 00:02:59,973 Oh, yeah? You think that's funny? Maybe you should look 79 00:03:00,056 --> 00:03:01,266 in the mirror, you bug-eyed bitch. 80 00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:03,351 ALBA: Okay, you know, maybe 81 00:03:03,435 --> 00:03:04,561 -we just take a deep breath. -Oh, yeah? 82 00:03:04,644 --> 00:03:06,605 You got something to say, too, Alba? 83 00:03:06,688 --> 00:03:09,316 No. You are right, 84 00:03:09,399 --> 00:03:11,026 no matter what you say about anything. 85 00:03:11,109 --> 00:03:12,444 That's what I thought, chismosa. 86 00:03:12,527 --> 00:03:13,653 (ALBA GASPS) 87 00:03:16,573 --> 00:03:17,908 Wh... 88 00:03:17,991 --> 00:03:20,285 (SMACKS LIPS) I don't know what that word meant... 89 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,662 -Mmm. -...but I conclude it was nasty. 90 00:03:22,746 --> 00:03:24,039 -Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. -Yeah? 91 00:03:24,122 --> 00:03:25,290 What the hell was that about? 92 00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:26,499 I don't know. 93 00:03:26,583 --> 00:03:30,128 I thought bullying would soften her, but that was really scary. 94 00:03:30,212 --> 00:03:31,421 Yeah, we do this all the time, 95 00:03:31,504 --> 00:03:33,590 but usually there's some art to it, you know what I mean? 96 00:03:33,673 --> 00:03:35,258 There's nothing clever about that. 97 00:03:35,342 --> 00:03:37,052 That really hurt my feelings. 98 00:03:37,677 --> 00:03:39,804 Is this what bullying's gonna do to her? 99 00:03:39,888 --> 00:03:42,015 -(GASPS) -Okay, this is not nearly as fun 100 00:03:42,098 --> 00:03:43,516 -as I thought it was gonna be. -No. 101 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,227 -All right, I'll go talk to her. -Yeah. 102 00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:46,895 Be brave. 103 00:03:52,525 --> 00:03:54,152 Safe to come in? 104 00:03:55,445 --> 00:03:56,780 What do you want? 105 00:03:58,198 --> 00:04:01,326 Look, your principal let me know that you were getting bullied, 106 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,370 and I just wanted to say that we've all been there, 107 00:04:03,453 --> 00:04:04,663 including me, if you can believe it. 108 00:04:04,746 --> 00:04:06,414 Oh, I can believe it. 109 00:04:07,499 --> 00:04:10,460 Okay. Great. 110 00:04:10,544 --> 00:04:12,337 Then maybe I can be of some help. 111 00:04:13,922 --> 00:04:15,465 What are we working with here? 112 00:04:15,549 --> 00:04:17,968 Wedgies? Swirlies? Sack taps? 113 00:04:18,051 --> 00:04:20,470 It's nothing, it's just some stupid cyberbullying. 114 00:04:20,554 --> 00:04:21,972 What the hell is cyberbullying? 115 00:04:22,055 --> 00:04:24,307 Bullying, but on the Internet. 116 00:04:24,391 --> 00:04:25,934 You're letting a bunch of nerds pick on you 117 00:04:26,017 --> 00:04:27,852 -with their computers? -They're not nerds. 118 00:04:27,936 --> 00:04:29,479 Well, they're nerds if they're on the Internet. 119 00:04:29,563 --> 00:04:30,730 It's my friend Zoe. 120 00:04:31,815 --> 00:04:34,109 Used to be my friend, whatever. 121 00:04:34,192 --> 00:04:35,777 Why don't you just systematically destroy her? 122 00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:36,861 Isn't that what you do? 123 00:04:36,945 --> 00:04:37,988 -I can't. -Why? 124 00:04:38,071 --> 00:04:39,197 (SHOUTS) I just can't, okay? 125 00:04:39,906 --> 00:04:42,867 Okay. It just doesn't seem like you, that's all. 126 00:04:42,951 --> 00:04:44,452 I'm sorry, don't you have something better to be worrying about? 127 00:04:44,536 --> 00:04:46,162 Like the fact that you're really bad at makeup, 128 00:04:46,246 --> 00:04:48,373 even though you've had 70 years of practice? 129 00:04:49,124 --> 00:04:52,294 Okey-doke, I can see where this is headed, so I'm just gonna hit the road. 130 00:04:59,551 --> 00:05:00,635 Mmm. 131 00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:02,387 How did it go? 132 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:04,347 Well, she ripped me open, 133 00:05:04,431 --> 00:05:06,933 stuffed me full of devastation, and then sewed me back up again. 134 00:05:07,017 --> 00:05:08,560 -Oh. -Let me ask you something. 135 00:05:08,894 --> 00:05:11,146 -Do I look 70? -What? 136 00:05:11,563 --> 00:05:13,481 You know what, forget it. For some reason, 137 00:05:13,565 --> 00:05:15,442 -she's not fighting back, you know? -Oh. 138 00:05:15,525 --> 00:05:17,277 And now, that's leaking into our ecosystem. 139 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,528 No, no, no, no. 140 00:05:18,612 --> 00:05:20,780 I cannot handle a meaner Sabrina. 141 00:05:20,864 --> 00:05:25,201 Well, then we are going to have to restore order for her. 142 00:05:25,285 --> 00:05:26,286 Mmm. 143 00:05:29,414 --> 00:05:33,251 Is that your face? Or did scientists figure out a way 144 00:05:33,335 --> 00:05:37,005 to grow a ponytail on a meatball? 145 00:05:37,088 --> 00:05:38,924 -(BOTH LAUGH) -That's nice. 146 00:05:39,007 --> 00:05:40,133 -Yeah. -Mmm, I got one, I got one. 147 00:05:40,217 --> 00:05:41,551 -You got one? -Mmm-hmm. 148 00:05:41,635 --> 00:05:44,471 -You are like a can of tuna fish... -Uh-huh. 149 00:05:44,554 --> 00:05:45,889 -...that has far exceeded... -Uh-huh. 150 00:05:45,972 --> 00:05:48,266 ...its expiration date. (LAUGHS) 151 00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:49,726 -I don't get that. -No, it's good, good. 152 00:05:49,809 --> 00:05:51,811 -Yeah, she smells. -Okay. 153 00:05:51,895 --> 00:05:53,021 What are you doing on my laptop? 154 00:05:53,104 --> 00:05:54,272 Oh, man, 155 00:05:54,356 --> 00:05:56,107 we are feeding these cyberbully dicks 156 00:05:56,191 --> 00:05:57,234 -with both barrels. -Mmm. 157 00:05:57,317 --> 00:05:58,360 -What? -Mmm-hmm. 158 00:05:58,443 --> 00:05:59,486 Let me see. 159 00:05:59,569 --> 00:06:00,612 You're on my account. 160 00:06:00,695 --> 00:06:01,738 Of course I'm on your account. 161 00:06:01,821 --> 00:06:03,073 How else would I be you? 162 00:06:03,156 --> 00:06:04,407 Oh, my God. 163 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:07,202 -Oh, this is bad. -Oh, no, 164 00:06:07,285 --> 00:06:08,286 -she had some real stinkers. -I... 165 00:06:08,370 --> 00:06:09,412 Are you looking at the tuna fish one? 166 00:06:09,496 --> 00:06:10,497 -Come on. -'Cause scroll up, mine are funny. 167 00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:11,623 You don't get it! 168 00:06:11,706 --> 00:06:14,626 Zoe stole my journal from my locker! 169 00:06:14,709 --> 00:06:17,170 Hold on a second, you-you keep a diary? 170 00:06:17,254 --> 00:06:18,964 It's not a diary, it's a journal. 171 00:06:19,047 --> 00:06:20,507 -Oh. -Okay? And because of you, 172 00:06:20,590 --> 00:06:22,801 she just blasted it all over the Internet! 173 00:06:22,884 --> 00:06:24,177 Hold on. Calm down. Okay? 174 00:06:24,261 --> 00:06:25,262 -(GASPS) -Calm down. Let's see. 175 00:06:25,345 --> 00:06:26,388 Is this you? 176 00:06:26,471 --> 00:06:27,973 "Abandoned, deserted, rejected. 177 00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:29,266 "I set out on my boat, 178 00:06:29,349 --> 00:06:31,601 "riding a sea of my parents' mistakes." 179 00:06:31,685 --> 00:06:33,436 -(STRANGLED SOB) -Ah. "Who will love me? 180 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:34,563 "These sails will not. 181 00:06:34,646 --> 00:06:36,648 "The sea cannot. The sky?" 182 00:06:36,731 --> 00:06:37,816 (SOBS) 183 00:06:37,899 --> 00:06:41,069 "The sky can only watch." Okay. 184 00:06:41,152 --> 00:06:42,571 It was stream of consciousness! 185 00:06:42,654 --> 00:06:44,489 No, yeah, no, it reads as stream of consciousness. 186 00:06:44,573 --> 00:06:46,658 I think it's... It's all class. 187 00:06:46,741 --> 00:06:48,868 -What do you think? -No, I... It's nice. 188 00:06:48,952 --> 00:06:51,204 You-you are a writer, that is for sure. 189 00:06:51,288 --> 00:06:52,789 Shut up, both of you! 190 00:06:52,872 --> 00:06:54,916 Give me this! 191 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,418 You ruined my life! 192 00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:57,627 (CRYING) 193 00:06:57,711 --> 00:06:59,838 God, did you know she was such an ugly crier? 194 00:06:59,921 --> 00:07:02,465 I'm not crying! 195 00:07:02,549 --> 00:07:04,217 -Yeah. -(CONTINUES CRYING) 196 00:07:04,301 --> 00:07:05,802 (SOFTLY) Okay. 197 00:07:11,558 --> 00:07:13,476 The fish look sick. 198 00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:15,103 (SCOFFS) 199 00:07:16,688 --> 00:07:18,899 Can you believe this crap? 200 00:07:18,982 --> 00:07:20,692 What's not to believe? 201 00:07:20,775 --> 00:07:23,653 All of it, propaganda being pushed by Big Tooth, 202 00:07:23,737 --> 00:07:25,238 trying to convince you you're less of a human 203 00:07:25,322 --> 00:07:27,949 if you don't "Smile Like a Star." 204 00:07:28,617 --> 00:07:30,327 What are you blathering about? 205 00:07:30,911 --> 00:07:33,663 These so-called professionals use fear to convince us 206 00:07:33,747 --> 00:07:36,499 that we need them, when in reality you could probably do it yourself. 207 00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:37,751 Hell, a monkey could do it. 208 00:07:38,335 --> 00:07:41,713 People don't do their own dental work because it's a specialized skill. 209 00:07:41,796 --> 00:07:43,298 I mean, I could unclog my toilets, 210 00:07:43,381 --> 00:07:45,175 but I prefer to have a plumber do it. 211 00:07:45,258 --> 00:07:46,801 Do not get me started on plumbers. 212 00:07:46,885 --> 00:07:48,261 Good job, little man. 213 00:07:48,345 --> 00:07:50,055 See you in six months, all right? 214 00:07:50,138 --> 00:07:51,723 (IMITATES EXPLOSION) 215 00:07:51,806 --> 00:07:53,141 I only have one cavity! 216 00:07:53,225 --> 00:07:54,309 JIMMY: Oh, really? 217 00:07:54,476 --> 00:07:55,852 Who told you that, the tooth jockey? 218 00:07:55,936 --> 00:07:57,729 Guess we better take his word for it. 219 00:07:57,812 --> 00:07:58,897 Excuse me? 220 00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:00,315 I'm sorry, Doc. If you saw the mess 221 00:08:00,398 --> 00:08:02,692 inside of his mouth, you'd know he's an idiot. 222 00:08:02,776 --> 00:08:05,153 You know what, this is good. Let's test this out. 223 00:08:05,237 --> 00:08:06,613 Bet you this clown can't look in there 224 00:08:06,696 --> 00:08:08,949 and tell me which tooth is bothering me. 225 00:08:09,032 --> 00:08:10,742 Oh, wow. 226 00:08:10,825 --> 00:08:13,411 I assume it's your number 19 molar. 227 00:08:13,495 --> 00:08:14,996 The black one. 228 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,623 That tooth needs to come out immediately. 229 00:08:16,706 --> 00:08:18,667 Good guess. Here comes the sell. 230 00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,710 -What's that gonna cost me? -Nothing. 231 00:08:20,794 --> 00:08:22,379 Your insurance should cover it. 232 00:08:22,462 --> 00:08:24,548 You think he has insurance? 233 00:08:24,631 --> 00:08:26,967 Procedure runs about 1,500 without it. 234 00:08:27,050 --> 00:08:28,802 Yeah, well, how about I just buy you a new set of golf clubs, 235 00:08:28,885 --> 00:08:31,805 and we skip the part where you perform unnecessary surgery on me? 236 00:08:31,888 --> 00:08:33,431 DENTIST: I assure you it's necessary. 237 00:08:33,515 --> 00:08:35,725 An infection like that could leach into your bloodstream and kill you. 238 00:08:35,809 --> 00:08:37,852 -(SCOFFS) -Definitely leave it in, then. 239 00:08:37,936 --> 00:08:39,437 You can die from a tooth? 240 00:08:39,521 --> 00:08:40,981 JIMMY: Don't listen to this tongue toucher. 241 00:08:41,064 --> 00:08:42,732 Back in the old days, dentists weren't even a thing. 242 00:08:42,816 --> 00:08:44,776 Barbers took care of everything above the shoulders. 243 00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:46,820 You didn't know that, Doctor? 244 00:08:46,903 --> 00:08:49,281 I don't know where all this animosity's coming from, 245 00:08:49,364 --> 00:08:51,449 but it doesn't change the fact that tooth needs to come out. 246 00:08:51,533 --> 00:08:52,784 Do it yourself for all I care. 247 00:08:52,867 --> 00:08:54,786 Yeah, well, maybe I will. 248 00:08:54,869 --> 00:08:57,956 And you can do whatever this is, for all I care. 249 00:08:58,039 --> 00:08:59,583 Let's go, boys. 250 00:09:02,752 --> 00:09:04,754 (SABRINA YELPS AND GROANS) 251 00:09:07,632 --> 00:09:09,301 -Get up. -No. 252 00:09:09,384 --> 00:09:10,594 Come on. Pity party's over. Let's go. 253 00:09:10,677 --> 00:09:13,305 Leave me alone. This is all your fault. 254 00:09:13,388 --> 00:09:14,639 Sabrina, you can't stay here forever. 255 00:09:14,723 --> 00:09:16,474 You've got to go back to school at some point. 256 00:09:16,558 --> 00:09:17,559 I can't. 257 00:09:17,642 --> 00:09:19,019 Nobody cares that you keep a diary. 258 00:09:19,102 --> 00:09:21,354 -It's a journal. -Whatever. 259 00:09:21,438 --> 00:09:23,064 It doesn't matter. It's not a big deal. 260 00:09:24,232 --> 00:09:25,775 You don't get it. 261 00:09:26,693 --> 00:09:29,195 Everybody used to fear and respect me. 262 00:09:29,279 --> 00:09:31,990 Now they think I'm some sad sack of emotion. 263 00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:36,328 Oh, come on. Hey, don't say that. 264 00:09:36,912 --> 00:09:38,288 I'm sure they still fear you. 265 00:09:38,371 --> 00:09:40,457 You're the meanest person I've ever met. 266 00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:43,501 I'm scared to come out of my room most mornings 267 00:09:43,585 --> 00:09:45,212 'cause I don't know what you're gonna say to me. 268 00:09:45,295 --> 00:09:47,505 -Really? -Yeah. 269 00:09:47,589 --> 00:09:49,799 You know that time you told me my voice sounded fat? 270 00:09:49,883 --> 00:09:50,884 -(LAUGHS) -(GASPS) 271 00:09:50,967 --> 00:09:52,802 Yeah, that was a good one. 272 00:09:52,886 --> 00:09:54,387 That was a great one. 273 00:09:54,471 --> 00:09:56,973 It's like you've got butter in your throat. 274 00:09:57,057 --> 00:09:59,601 Yeah, I mean, it doesn't make any sense to me. 275 00:09:59,684 --> 00:10:01,311 I can't wrap my mind around what that even means, 276 00:10:01,394 --> 00:10:03,021 but that's the point. I've been thinking about it ever since. 277 00:10:03,104 --> 00:10:04,272 See, you got in my head. 278 00:10:04,356 --> 00:10:05,649 That's the bitch that's inside of you. 279 00:10:05,732 --> 00:10:07,525 That's the bitch they need to see. 280 00:10:07,609 --> 00:10:10,278 Yeah, but how? 281 00:10:10,362 --> 00:10:14,115 By marching over to Zoe's house and tearing her ass to pieces. 282 00:10:14,699 --> 00:10:16,701 -Yeah, I... -Mmm. 283 00:10:16,785 --> 00:10:18,536 Well, yeah, I guess I could do that. 284 00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:21,873 Oh, you guess? Not good enough. Let me hear you say it. 285 00:10:21,957 --> 00:10:24,251 Fine, I'll tear her ass to pieces. 286 00:10:24,334 --> 00:10:25,752 -Happy? -Happy? 287 00:10:25,835 --> 00:10:26,920 No, I'm not happy. 288 00:10:27,170 --> 00:10:29,381 'Cause that sounded like you wanted to go over there 289 00:10:29,464 --> 00:10:31,466 and tickle her ass a little bit, but that's not gonna do the trick. 290 00:10:31,550 --> 00:10:33,885 This girl humiliated you. What are you gonna do about it? 291 00:10:38,056 --> 00:10:39,933 I'm gonna tear her ass to pieces! 292 00:10:40,016 --> 00:10:42,894 That's what I'm talking about. Then what are you gonna do? 293 00:10:42,978 --> 00:10:44,729 I'm gonna feed it to her. 294 00:10:44,813 --> 00:10:45,939 Whoo-hoo, I like it! 295 00:10:46,022 --> 00:10:47,482 Let's go get that diary. 296 00:10:47,566 --> 00:10:49,818 -It's a journal. -Uh, doesn't matter! 297 00:10:58,785 --> 00:11:00,912 In what world is this easier than going to a dentist? 298 00:11:01,329 --> 00:11:02,914 A cheaper one. Do you have any idea 299 00:11:02,998 --> 00:11:04,749 how much an actual tank of nitrous costs? 300 00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:06,001 No. How much? 301 00:11:06,209 --> 00:11:08,837 I don't know. But a lot more than whipped cream. 302 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:12,215 Granted, this isn't medical grade, but it's still gonna give me the wah-wahs. 303 00:11:12,299 --> 00:11:14,426 This is insane. Let's just go back to the dentist. 304 00:11:14,509 --> 00:11:16,011 No, absolutely not. 305 00:11:16,469 --> 00:11:19,681 Hey, I'm trying to teach you guys a valuable life lesson here, all right? 306 00:11:19,764 --> 00:11:21,349 A little self-sufficiency. 307 00:11:21,433 --> 00:11:24,895 Can you just teach us how to change a tire or something? 308 00:11:24,978 --> 00:11:26,938 I'm excited to see you rip your teeth out. 309 00:11:27,022 --> 00:11:29,274 -JIMMY: Thanks, pal. -Don't encourage this, Ben. 310 00:11:29,357 --> 00:11:31,568 Okay, you know what, Chip? Let me tell you something. 311 00:11:31,651 --> 00:11:32,777 Ears up, Ben. 312 00:11:32,861 --> 00:11:35,739 Not-to-near future, nuclear holocaust, right? 313 00:11:35,822 --> 00:11:37,866 Credit card, money, house gone. 314 00:11:37,949 --> 00:11:40,410 None of it works. Sabrina, Alba, Mickey... 315 00:11:40,493 --> 00:11:41,786 they're gone. Why? 316 00:11:41,870 --> 00:11:43,121 Because you ate them. 317 00:11:43,204 --> 00:11:44,998 You had to. 318 00:11:45,081 --> 00:11:47,834 Would you be able to do anything for yourself? 319 00:11:50,045 --> 00:11:53,089 And, uh, that'll be $86.78. 320 00:11:53,173 --> 00:11:56,092 Well, that's a little bit more than I was intending to spend. 321 00:11:56,176 --> 00:11:57,928 Why don't you go ahead and throw everything back 322 00:11:58,011 --> 00:11:59,512 except the whipped cream, vodka and pliers. 323 00:12:07,062 --> 00:12:09,231 (SNIFFS) Yeah. 324 00:12:09,314 --> 00:12:10,357 Let's party. 325 00:12:12,734 --> 00:12:14,986 (HEAVY METAL PLAYING ON RADIO) I'm in your head tonight, can you feel me? 326 00:12:15,070 --> 00:12:17,030 I'm in your head tonight, can you feel me? 327 00:12:17,113 --> 00:12:18,323 What are we listening to? 328 00:12:18,406 --> 00:12:20,951 Fight music. Getting us jacked up for battle. 329 00:12:21,034 --> 00:12:22,118 Ugh. Why are they yelling? 330 00:12:22,202 --> 00:12:23,870 Are they angry 'cause they're bad musicians? 331 00:12:23,954 --> 00:12:25,538 Don't overthink it, just drink your Speed Demon. 332 00:12:25,622 --> 00:12:28,416 I can't drink any more of this. I feel like my heart's gonna explode. 333 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,001 Good. That's right. Means it's working. 334 00:12:30,085 --> 00:12:31,336 Okay, you ready for this? 335 00:12:31,419 --> 00:12:32,963 -Yes. Yeah! -Yeah? 336 00:12:33,046 --> 00:12:34,422 -You ready for this? -Yeah! 337 00:12:34,506 --> 00:12:35,549 -It's go time. -(MUSIC STOPS) 338 00:12:35,632 --> 00:12:37,467 -What's with the ice? -You'll see. 339 00:12:39,219 --> 00:12:41,012 (EXHALES) Yes! Ready? 340 00:12:41,096 --> 00:12:42,389 -I'm ready! -Yeah? All right. 341 00:12:42,472 --> 00:12:43,848 No hesitation, okay? 342 00:12:43,932 --> 00:12:45,475 She opens that door, we just launch on her. 343 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:47,227 I got this! 344 00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:48,311 Cool off, bitch! 345 00:12:50,313 --> 00:12:52,023 Uh... uh... 346 00:12:52,107 --> 00:12:53,608 Sabrina, what are you doing at my house? 347 00:12:53,692 --> 00:12:55,026 This is my house, Zoe! 348 00:12:55,110 --> 00:12:56,653 -One second. -So you better give me my journal back 349 00:12:56,736 --> 00:12:58,029 before I beat your ass so hard you actually 350 00:12:58,113 --> 00:12:59,364 -feel it for once! -Time-out, time-out! 351 00:12:59,447 --> 00:13:00,907 How 'bout that? 352 00:13:00,991 --> 00:13:02,701 Oopsy. Time-out. Time-out. 353 00:13:02,784 --> 00:13:04,202 Can you excuse us just for a second? 354 00:13:04,286 --> 00:13:05,829 C-Can I have a word? 355 00:13:05,912 --> 00:13:07,080 What the hell are you doing? 356 00:13:07,163 --> 00:13:09,082 What do you mean? I'm gonna feed her her ass! 357 00:13:09,165 --> 00:13:10,917 -No, you can't feed her her ass. -Why not? 358 00:13:11,001 --> 00:13:12,836 Because she's busy sitting on it, 359 00:13:12,919 --> 00:13:15,046 -in a wheelchair. -What does that have to do with it? 360 00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:16,464 It has everything to do with it. 361 00:13:16,548 --> 00:13:18,675 -You can't beat up a disabled person. -Says who? 362 00:13:18,758 --> 00:13:20,385 Says everybody. That's a rule. 363 00:13:20,468 --> 00:13:22,012 Oh, that is so archaic. 364 00:13:22,095 --> 00:13:23,805 She deserves to be treated just like everybody else. 365 00:13:23,889 --> 00:13:25,181 Oh, get out of here. 366 00:13:25,265 --> 00:13:26,725 I will never understand your generation. 367 00:13:26,808 --> 00:13:27,893 What is there to understand? How is this... 368 00:13:27,976 --> 00:13:29,811 Okay, sorry, guys, I'm gonna get going. 369 00:13:30,103 --> 00:13:32,022 Oh, by the way, Sabrina, if you need me, 370 00:13:32,105 --> 00:13:35,025 I'll be posting your entire journal online. Okay, bye. 371 00:13:35,108 --> 00:13:36,109 No, no, no, no, no! 372 00:13:37,944 --> 00:13:39,029 (GROANS) 373 00:13:39,112 --> 00:13:41,531 We had her, Mickey! 374 00:13:41,615 --> 00:13:43,533 You left out the part where her legs don't work! 375 00:13:43,617 --> 00:13:44,868 Let's go! 376 00:13:47,704 --> 00:13:49,956 All right, let me have it. How bad is it? 377 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,125 "My mind is cluttered, like an old drawer 378 00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:53,752 "that you haven't cleared out, 379 00:13:53,835 --> 00:13:56,504 "that you can't clear out because it would take too long, 380 00:13:56,588 --> 00:13:58,089 "be too painful." 381 00:13:58,173 --> 00:14:00,884 -Whoa, that is humiliating. -Mmm-hmm. 382 00:14:00,967 --> 00:14:04,054 Yeah, I was in a bad place, Alba. Okay? 383 00:14:04,137 --> 00:14:06,056 Oh, here's a cheerier one, okay. 384 00:14:06,139 --> 00:14:09,351 "Mickey saved me half a tuna fish sandwich last night. 385 00:14:09,434 --> 00:14:12,854 "That small gesture is the most gracious thing anyone has done 386 00:14:12,938 --> 00:14:14,981 "since my parents abandoned me." 387 00:14:16,608 --> 00:14:20,445 Oh, that sandwich was for Jimmy. 388 00:14:21,071 --> 00:14:22,239 Oh. 389 00:14:22,322 --> 00:14:24,074 But I'm really glad that it brightened up... 390 00:14:24,157 --> 00:14:25,784 -No. -...what seemed to be a tough day... 391 00:14:25,867 --> 00:14:27,577 Screw this, okay? Just screw it. 392 00:14:27,661 --> 00:14:29,037 This is so pointless, okay? 393 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,957 There is no plan B. (SIGHS) 394 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,292 I might as well just kill myself. 395 00:14:34,376 --> 00:14:36,044 Well, that's not a terrible idea. 396 00:14:37,546 --> 00:14:38,922 -Thanks. -Well... No, no, no. 397 00:14:39,005 --> 00:14:41,675 Not actually killing yourself, but the threat of it? 398 00:14:41,758 --> 00:14:43,635 Oh, everyone WOULD think you are crazy, 399 00:14:43,718 --> 00:14:45,679 and no one would mess with you no more. 400 00:14:45,845 --> 00:14:48,014 Yeah, but suicide's more sad than crazy. 401 00:14:48,098 --> 00:14:50,517 That's not what we're after. Now, murder-suicide... 402 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,727 -Ooh, yeah. -There we go. nobody's messing with that. 403 00:14:52,811 --> 00:14:56,398 Eh, I don't know. That's like deranged, Jim Jones crazy. 404 00:14:56,481 --> 00:14:59,150 I'm going for more self-sabotage, train wreck. 405 00:14:59,234 --> 00:15:00,360 Like Britney crazy. 406 00:15:00,569 --> 00:15:02,737 -Oh, I love Britney. -Yeah, of course you do. 407 00:15:02,821 --> 00:15:04,698 -Everyone does, because she's perfect. -Mmm. 408 00:15:04,781 --> 00:15:06,616 And she's currently enjoying a great second act. 409 00:15:06,700 --> 00:15:08,118 Yeah, yeah. 410 00:15:08,201 --> 00:15:09,911 I think you might be on to something here. 411 00:15:11,204 --> 00:15:13,707 Ding-ding, boys. School's in session. 412 00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:15,875 (INHALES DEEPLY) 413 00:15:17,711 --> 00:15:19,504 This is as good as I'll ever be. 414 00:15:19,588 --> 00:15:20,964 Maybe your tooth hurts 'cause you're eating 415 00:15:21,047 --> 00:15:22,299 too much whipped cream. 416 00:15:22,382 --> 00:15:23,758 I'm not eating whipped cream, Ben. 417 00:15:23,842 --> 00:15:25,427 I'm sucking the nitrous out of the can. 418 00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:26,845 Can I have some? 419 00:15:26,928 --> 00:15:28,138 No. 420 00:15:28,221 --> 00:15:30,056 Not until your brain is fully developed. 421 00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:31,600 Talk to me when you're 13. 422 00:15:31,683 --> 00:15:34,561 (INHALES DEEPLY) 423 00:15:34,644 --> 00:15:36,521 All right. 424 00:15:36,605 --> 00:15:39,232 I could rip the tongue out of my own mouth. Pliers. 425 00:15:42,068 --> 00:15:43,570 Watch and learn, boys. 426 00:15:46,948 --> 00:15:48,575 Dude, wrong tooth. You got to get the black one. 427 00:15:48,658 --> 00:15:50,994 I know which one it is, okay? 428 00:15:51,077 --> 00:15:53,079 I just can't see inside my own mouth. 429 00:15:55,916 --> 00:15:57,375 You know what? You do it. 430 00:15:57,459 --> 00:15:59,377 No way. I'm not getting anywhere near that thing. 431 00:15:59,461 --> 00:16:00,587 I'll do it. 432 00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:02,005 Yeah, it's probably better. 433 00:16:02,088 --> 00:16:04,966 This red-headed gumdrop will bungle it anyway. 434 00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:06,760 Give me the... Give me the pliers. 435 00:16:06,843 --> 00:16:08,053 Oh, yeah. 436 00:16:08,136 --> 00:16:10,055 There we go. There's hope for you yet. 437 00:16:10,138 --> 00:16:11,640 (INHALES DEEPLY) 438 00:16:15,477 --> 00:16:17,395 All right, before the high wears off. 439 00:16:17,812 --> 00:16:19,231 Got this. 440 00:16:21,733 --> 00:16:22,734 Ow! 441 00:16:25,779 --> 00:16:27,197 Come on. 442 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,199 I can't get it! It's too slimy and scummy! 443 00:16:29,282 --> 00:16:31,159 Yeah, well, you got to clamp down on it! 444 00:16:33,995 --> 00:16:35,747 All right, got it, I got it. 445 00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:38,083 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now grip it and rip it. 446 00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:39,417 All right. 447 00:16:39,501 --> 00:16:42,170 BEN AND CHIP: One, two, three! 448 00:16:42,254 --> 00:16:43,588 -(GURGLES) -CHIP: Oh, my God! 449 00:16:43,672 --> 00:16:44,714 -It broke off! -(SCREAMING) 450 00:16:44,798 --> 00:16:49,094 (ALL SCREAMING) 451 00:16:49,177 --> 00:16:50,929 Painkiller! Painkiller! 452 00:16:51,012 --> 00:16:53,348 (SCREAMING CONTINUES) 453 00:16:56,142 --> 00:16:57,686 (ALL CONTINUE SCREAMING) 454 00:16:58,311 --> 00:17:00,397 -It burns! Don't touch me! -Oh, I'm sorry! 455 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:02,482 This is what happens when we're self-sufficient! 456 00:17:02,566 --> 00:17:05,402 Get the keys! Get the keys! 457 00:17:05,485 --> 00:17:07,612 We need a professional. 458 00:17:07,696 --> 00:17:09,614 -It'll grow back. -(CLIPPERS BUZZING) 459 00:17:09,698 --> 00:17:11,199 It'll grow back. 460 00:17:11,283 --> 00:17:13,118 Hey Sabr... Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hang on, hang on! 461 00:17:14,035 --> 00:17:15,036 What are you doing? 462 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,163 What do you mean? I'm doing Britney. 463 00:17:17,247 --> 00:17:19,583 Oh. Whoa, hold on. 464 00:17:19,666 --> 00:17:22,168 -Hold off on that, just for a second. -Why? 465 00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:23,920 I-I think maybe, uh, 466 00:17:24,004 --> 00:17:25,964 the old wires got a little crisscrossed. 467 00:17:26,047 --> 00:17:27,757 -What do you mean? -You know, 468 00:17:27,841 --> 00:17:30,260 I see now that you were thinking shaved head Britney. 469 00:17:30,343 --> 00:17:31,678 -Yeah. -Only problem is 470 00:17:31,761 --> 00:17:34,514 Alba and I, we kind of had a different take on it, you know? 471 00:17:34,598 --> 00:17:37,309 -(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) -What's going on? 472 00:17:37,392 --> 00:17:38,935 Just know that I'm very sorry for what's about to happen. 473 00:17:39,019 --> 00:17:40,353 -What? -Okay? 474 00:17:40,437 --> 00:17:42,355 Oh, there's the crazy bitch. Take her away. 475 00:17:42,439 --> 00:17:44,065 -COP: Sabrina Pemberton? -Yeah? 476 00:17:44,149 --> 00:17:46,276 We're placing you under involuntary psychiatric care. 477 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:48,194 What? You 5150'd me? 478 00:17:48,278 --> 00:17:49,321 Yeah, yeah. 479 00:17:49,404 --> 00:17:50,989 Miss Pemberton, I'm gonna need you 480 00:17:51,072 --> 00:17:52,282 to put down that weapon and come with us. 481 00:17:52,365 --> 00:17:53,992 (SCOFFS) This isn't a weapon, look. 482 00:17:54,075 --> 00:17:55,160 It's a shaver. I mean... what? 483 00:17:55,243 --> 00:17:56,953 Let me go! I'm not crazy! You're all crazy! 484 00:17:57,037 --> 00:17:59,664 -Oh, yeah, everybody's crazy but her. -Get your hands off! 485 00:17:59,748 --> 00:18:01,291 -This is... Ow! -MICKEY: Whoo! 486 00:18:01,374 --> 00:18:03,293 Wow, authentic. Nice. 487 00:18:03,376 --> 00:18:06,296 (CALMLY) No. That's... That's good. 488 00:18:06,379 --> 00:18:08,673 -Hey, Mickey? -Hmm? 489 00:18:08,757 --> 00:18:10,967 Thanks for the sandwich. 490 00:18:11,051 --> 00:18:13,553 You got it. 491 00:18:14,554 --> 00:18:15,847 I think that went great. 492 00:18:21,186 --> 00:18:22,896 Hey, Doc, you got to help me. Come on, let's go inside 493 00:18:22,979 --> 00:18:25,148 -and pop this thing out. -Sir, you need to take your hands off me. 494 00:18:25,232 --> 00:18:26,608 No, come on. What do you want to hear, that I was wrong? 495 00:18:26,691 --> 00:18:28,026 That I'm wrong and you're right? 496 00:18:28,109 --> 00:18:30,028 -You need to go to the emergency room. -Hey, Doc, 497 00:18:30,111 --> 00:18:31,488 he could really use the help. I'll even pay for it. 498 00:18:31,571 --> 00:18:33,573 I'm a pediatric dentist. This man needs an oral surgeon! 499 00:18:33,657 --> 00:18:35,325 -No, I believe in you! -Sir? 500 00:18:35,408 --> 00:18:37,327 -I believe in you. -I'm warning you, let go of me! 501 00:18:37,410 --> 00:18:38,536 (GURGLES) Oh. 502 00:18:38,620 --> 00:18:40,956 Oh. Ah, God! 503 00:18:41,039 --> 00:18:42,207 (GROANING) 504 00:18:42,290 --> 00:18:44,251 Ah, that burns! Oh! Oh. 505 00:18:44,334 --> 00:18:46,711 You got it in my mouth! Come on! Come here! 506 00:18:46,795 --> 00:18:47,796 -(ENGINE STARTS) -Come on. 507 00:18:47,879 --> 00:18:49,839 Get out. Get out of the car. Come on! 508 00:18:49,923 --> 00:18:52,551 (BONES CRACK) Aah! 509 00:18:52,634 --> 00:18:55,053 My hand! (SCREAMS) 510 00:18:55,136 --> 00:18:57,264 Oh, you sadistic bastard! 511 00:18:57,347 --> 00:18:58,390 Ah! 512 00:18:58,473 --> 00:19:00,141 -You crushed me. -CHIP: Oh. 513 00:19:00,225 --> 00:19:01,393 (SCREAMS) 514 00:19:04,271 --> 00:19:07,023 There she is! Welcome back. 515 00:19:07,107 --> 00:19:09,067 Oh, you looking... 516 00:19:09,150 --> 00:19:10,151 rested. 517 00:19:10,235 --> 00:19:11,528 How was your stay? 518 00:19:11,611 --> 00:19:13,530 I'm never talking to you two again. 519 00:19:13,613 --> 00:19:16,074 Do you have any idea what I saw in there? 520 00:19:16,157 --> 00:19:18,243 A woman threatened to cut off her own breasts. 521 00:19:18,326 --> 00:19:20,245 Mmm. Shoot. 522 00:19:20,328 --> 00:19:23,456 Okay, well, you should come check out what's going on outside, 523 00:19:23,540 --> 00:19:25,709 'cause I think you're gonna be pleasantly surprised. 524 00:19:32,173 --> 00:19:33,550 Hey, Sabrina. 525 00:19:33,633 --> 00:19:37,470 Uh, I'm so sorry about everything. 526 00:19:37,554 --> 00:19:39,472 I just want us to be friends again. 527 00:19:39,973 --> 00:19:41,433 Here's your journal. 528 00:19:46,146 --> 00:19:47,188 SABRINA: That's okay, Zoe. 529 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:48,815 I forgive you. 530 00:19:48,899 --> 00:19:52,611 I had a lot of time to think in there, and I'm not mad at you. 531 00:19:52,694 --> 00:19:54,154 -You're not? -No. 532 00:19:54,237 --> 00:19:55,238 Oh, my... (CHUCKLES) 533 00:19:55,322 --> 00:19:57,073 Of course not. 534 00:19:57,157 --> 00:19:58,909 It would be such a silly waste of time 535 00:19:58,992 --> 00:20:02,829 for someone like me to be mad at someone as insignificant as you. 536 00:20:02,913 --> 00:20:05,123 The truth is... 537 00:20:06,082 --> 00:20:07,542 I pity you. 538 00:20:09,586 --> 00:20:11,171 Oh. 539 00:20:12,505 --> 00:20:14,466 Okay, thanks. 540 00:20:14,549 --> 00:20:17,010 You're welcome. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 541 00:20:17,093 --> 00:20:18,678 Come on, you guys, let's go. 542 00:20:24,017 --> 00:20:25,310 (SIGHS) 543 00:20:25,393 --> 00:20:27,103 I fear for her friends. 544 00:20:27,187 --> 00:20:29,022 MICKEY: Yeah. Well, better them than us. 545 00:20:29,105 --> 00:20:31,399 -Yeah, the bitch is back. (LAUGHS) -What'd you say? 546 00:20:31,483 --> 00:20:33,026 -No, I didn't say nothing. -I didn't hear anything. 547 00:20:33,109 --> 00:20:34,611 -ALBA: No. -That's what I thought. 548 00:20:34,694 --> 00:20:36,363 (SIGHS) 549 00:20:38,615 --> 00:20:40,367 (SIGHS) 550 00:20:44,579 --> 00:20:45,914 (TIRES SCREECH) 551 00:20:55,382 --> 00:20:57,175 You got to help me. 552 00:21:01,846 --> 00:21:03,390 He got an appointment? 553 00:21:07,602 --> 00:21:09,104 SABRINA: I'm not crying!