1 00:00:01,253 --> 00:00:03,213 BEN: And then the monster ripped my guts out, 2 00:00:03,296 --> 00:00:06,383 but I was still alive, and then he started eating them 3 00:00:06,466 --> 00:00:08,510 even though they smelled like barf, but he didn't care. 4 00:00:08,593 --> 00:00:11,096 And then I screamed for help, but no one came, 5 00:00:11,179 --> 00:00:14,599 and then he slipped in the barf, and then I woke up. 6 00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,768 W-Wait, I am confused. 7 00:00:17,519 --> 00:00:21,064 Did it just smell like barf, or was there actual barf? 8 00:00:21,147 --> 00:00:22,607 -Both. -Oh. 9 00:00:22,691 --> 00:00:25,318 Okay. Ben, that sounds really scary, I totally understand, 10 00:00:25,402 --> 00:00:27,529 but you're just having nightmares. Monsters aren't real. 11 00:00:27,612 --> 00:00:31,032 It is real! One night, he's gonna come and finish the job, 12 00:00:31,116 --> 00:00:32,576 and you'll be sorry. 13 00:00:32,659 --> 00:00:33,994 Ay, Benny, come on. 14 00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:35,287 Yeah, all good, bro. I-I get it. 15 00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:36,705 For sure. 16 00:00:36,788 --> 00:00:38,081 Hey, I'm sorry, too. 17 00:00:38,164 --> 00:00:40,083 And listen, like... 18 00:00:40,166 --> 00:00:41,418 Oh, totally, totally. 19 00:00:41,501 --> 00:00:43,253 Dope, dope. 20 00:00:43,336 --> 00:00:44,838 All right. 21 00:00:44,921 --> 00:00:46,298 Peace. 22 00:00:47,132 --> 00:00:48,258 Damn it! 23 00:00:48,341 --> 00:00:49,467 Who was that? 24 00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:52,095 My new lab partner, Dylan. Dude's the freakin' man. 25 00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:54,139 And we've had this amazing week together. 26 00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:56,474 Just, you know, crushing our lab reports, 27 00:00:56,558 --> 00:00:58,852 farting in beakers. Laughing our freaking balls off. 28 00:00:58,935 --> 00:01:00,395 Just vibin'. 29 00:01:00,478 --> 00:01:03,273 -So you guys, like, a thing now? -(ALBA AND MICKEY LAUGH) 30 00:01:03,356 --> 00:01:04,983 I wish. Being friends with this kid 31 00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:06,693 would blast me into a new social stratosphere. 32 00:01:06,776 --> 00:01:08,904 -Well, what's the problem? -You're the problem. 33 00:01:08,987 --> 00:01:11,615 I invited him to sleep over and seal the deal, 34 00:01:11,698 --> 00:01:13,116 but his stupid mom won't let him. 35 00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:14,242 How's that my fault? 36 00:01:14,326 --> 00:01:16,995 Because everybody thinks this is an unsupervised trash house. 37 00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:18,413 -Unsupervised? -Yeah. 38 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:19,748 Are you kidding me? 39 00:01:19,831 --> 00:01:21,333 I supervise. 40 00:01:21,416 --> 00:01:22,584 Alba, did you know about this? 41 00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:25,545 Oh, yeah, it is said often. By many people. 42 00:01:25,629 --> 00:01:27,255 -Mmm. -(SPUTTERS) 43 00:01:27,339 --> 00:01:29,090 Well, I did not think you cared. 44 00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:31,384 I thought you were proud of your trash brand. 45 00:01:31,468 --> 00:01:34,221 I don't care. But what's the point of working my ass off 46 00:01:34,304 --> 00:01:36,097 if nobody knows I'm working my ass off? 47 00:01:36,181 --> 00:01:37,933 'Cause it is a blessing, okay? 48 00:01:38,016 --> 00:01:40,435 This place has been heaven ever since these kids 49 00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:41,895 got booted from the system. 50 00:01:41,978 --> 00:01:43,396 What system? 51 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,315 Ay, the system where you take someone's kid, 52 00:01:45,398 --> 00:01:46,608 you give their parents the night off. 53 00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:49,236 Then the next weekend, they return the favor. 54 00:01:49,319 --> 00:01:50,820 And round and round it goes. 55 00:01:50,904 --> 00:01:53,031 That sounds amazing. 56 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:55,617 Not for me it wasn't. Poodle would pop her pills 57 00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:58,370 while Alba was left to scrub the urine from the sleeping bags. 58 00:01:58,453 --> 00:02:00,455 Hold on a second, so these parents are cool 59 00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:02,874 with a pillhead watching their kids but not me? 60 00:02:02,958 --> 00:02:05,377 Oh, hell no. These Greenwich turds are gonna show me 61 00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:07,671 -the respect I deserve. -What does that mean? 62 00:02:07,754 --> 00:02:10,382 It means you're gonna sleep with that boy. 63 00:02:13,468 --> 00:02:16,346 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 64 00:02:16,429 --> 00:02:18,265 There she is. That's Dylan's mom. 65 00:02:19,808 --> 00:02:21,268 And that's Dylan. 66 00:02:22,018 --> 00:02:24,437 Keep it in your pants and follow my lead. 67 00:02:25,897 --> 00:02:28,233 -'Sup, D-Money? -Oh, Mint Chocolate Chip. 68 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:30,360 What's good, playboy? 69 00:02:30,443 --> 00:02:32,237 Chip, are you forgetting something? 70 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,863 Your raw yogurt with bee pollen. 71 00:02:33,947 --> 00:02:35,198 You know what I always say. 72 00:02:35,282 --> 00:02:38,076 When we feed our brains, our minds can get to work. 73 00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:41,204 Right, totally. You're never not saying that. 74 00:02:41,288 --> 00:02:43,915 Hi there, uh, I'm Chip's Aunt Mackenzie. 75 00:02:43,999 --> 00:02:45,667 I'm Karen, Dylan's mom. 76 00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:49,754 Oh, my goodness, I am so happy to finally meet you. 77 00:02:49,838 --> 00:02:52,424 Chip here is just head over heels for your little Dylan. 78 00:02:52,507 --> 00:02:53,800 CHIP: Aunt Mackenzie. 79 00:02:53,884 --> 00:02:55,760 -Yeah? -Can Dylan sleep over tonight? 80 00:02:55,844 --> 00:02:58,847 Oh, Chip, I do know you have a history paper due on Monday. 81 00:02:58,930 --> 00:03:00,181 I already wrote it. 82 00:03:00,265 --> 00:03:03,059 Well, you saying there's no room for improvement? 83 00:03:03,143 --> 00:03:05,437 -Why, I have all day Sunday. -Wh-What about church? 84 00:03:06,313 --> 00:03:08,231 -I could do it after. -I don't see how that 85 00:03:08,315 --> 00:03:09,858 leaves room for puzzle hour at the senior center. 86 00:03:09,941 --> 00:03:11,985 -Please. -Mmm-hmm. Yep, okay. 87 00:03:12,068 --> 00:03:13,361 Well, it has to be okay with Dylan's mom. 88 00:03:13,445 --> 00:03:14,821 Oh, Mom, can I, please? 89 00:03:14,905 --> 00:03:16,865 Oh, I don't think so, sweetheart. 90 00:03:16,948 --> 00:03:19,075 It's no offense, I just don't know you very well. 91 00:03:19,159 --> 00:03:21,953 Absolutely, no offense taken. I'm the exact same way. 92 00:03:22,037 --> 00:03:23,914 Come on, we'll be good. I promise. 93 00:03:23,997 --> 00:03:25,749 Well... 94 00:03:26,625 --> 00:03:30,587 My husband is out of town, and I'm kind of short-handed. 95 00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:33,798 Honestly, it's perfectly fine. Just let me take him off your hands. 96 00:03:33,882 --> 00:03:36,718 Run a bubble bath, slug down a bottle of... of, uh... 97 00:03:36,801 --> 00:03:38,720 A glass, have a glass of wine. You know? 98 00:03:38,803 --> 00:03:41,890 -That does sound nice. -Yeah. 99 00:03:42,933 --> 00:03:44,309 Okay, what the heck? 100 00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:45,685 -Totes. -I guess it's all right. 101 00:03:45,769 --> 00:03:47,187 I just have a few guidelines. 102 00:03:48,605 --> 00:03:51,107 No dairy, no refined sugar, no gluten. 103 00:03:51,191 --> 00:03:54,194 For a cool kid, this guy comes with a lot of instructions. 104 00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:55,528 Yeah, he's a nerd. 105 00:03:55,612 --> 00:03:58,823 Hey, Alba, just the woman I wanted to see. Okay, I'm gonna need you to 106 00:03:58,907 --> 00:04:02,160 fill the essential oil diffuser in Dylan's humidifier. 107 00:04:02,244 --> 00:04:05,163 Ooh, no can do. I am Poodling tonight. 108 00:04:05,247 --> 00:04:07,707 -What? -And it says "No heavy machinery," so... 109 00:04:07,791 --> 00:04:09,834 No... Damn you. 110 00:04:09,918 --> 00:04:12,796 I mean, look at all this crap. 111 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:16,049 Whoa. What's that for? 112 00:04:16,132 --> 00:04:17,467 MICKEY: That's an adrenaline shot. 113 00:04:17,551 --> 00:04:19,511 That's to bring Dylan back from the dead in the event 114 00:04:19,594 --> 00:04:21,763 he finds himself in the same room as a peanut. 115 00:04:21,846 --> 00:04:24,266 God. I love a good sleepover. 116 00:04:24,349 --> 00:04:27,561 You know? The bonding, the secrets, the pranks. 117 00:04:28,270 --> 00:04:31,106 I guarantee you, someone gets this jammed in their ass tonight. 118 00:04:31,189 --> 00:04:33,483 All right. This is an important night for me. 119 00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:35,068 I don't need Dylan going home and telling his mom 120 00:04:35,151 --> 00:04:37,946 he was sharing secrets and jamming asses with a strange grown man. 121 00:04:38,029 --> 00:04:39,030 In fact, take Ben to bed. 122 00:04:39,114 --> 00:04:40,282 -All right. -What about the monster? 123 00:04:40,365 --> 00:04:43,702 Buddy, (SIGHS) if you encounter any monsters tonight, tell you what, 124 00:04:43,785 --> 00:04:45,870 just dream up some ice picks, you know? 125 00:04:45,954 --> 00:04:48,081 And stab him in his face a bunch of times. Sound good? 126 00:04:48,164 --> 00:04:49,165 -Yeah. -Okay. 127 00:04:49,249 --> 00:04:50,792 (RETCHES) 128 00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:54,170 Ooh! Swoopy bang brothers. Good to see you guys. 129 00:04:54,254 --> 00:04:55,714 Hey, Dylan, 130 00:04:55,797 --> 00:04:57,799 did you want your fish oils now, or did you want to wait 131 00:04:57,883 --> 00:05:00,927 and have them with your ginseng and milk-thistle lozenges? 132 00:05:01,011 --> 00:05:03,555 You don't have to actually do all that stuff. My mom's kind of crazy. 133 00:05:03,638 --> 00:05:05,682 Well, no... no crazier than me. 134 00:05:05,765 --> 00:05:07,934 Right, Chip? I'm, like, the craziest mom in town. 135 00:05:08,018 --> 00:05:10,020 -You're not a mom. -Well, I'm strict as hell. 136 00:05:10,103 --> 00:05:12,314 And I'm crossing every single item off of this list. 137 00:05:12,397 --> 00:05:15,984 Including... no cell phones after 8:00. Thank you. 138 00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:17,569 (QUIETLY) Dude, I thought you said she was chill. 139 00:05:17,652 --> 00:05:19,362 Well, she is, just... 140 00:05:19,446 --> 00:05:20,739 Mickey, a word? 141 00:05:20,822 --> 00:05:22,240 Hmm? 142 00:05:22,324 --> 00:05:24,868 Listen, I kind of told Dylan you were chill, 143 00:05:24,951 --> 00:05:28,163 so I'm gonna need you to go ahead and be chill, you feel me? 144 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,292 Yeah, I feel you. Yeah. 145 00:05:33,084 --> 00:05:35,045 Here you go, buddy, go nuts. 146 00:05:35,128 --> 00:05:37,214 You're kidding, right? I gave you $200. 147 00:05:37,297 --> 00:05:39,007 Yeah, you're gonna want to learn to bribe better. 148 00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:40,467 That's about as crazy as it's gonna get tonight. 149 00:05:42,802 --> 00:05:45,972 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, missy. Where do you think you're going? 150 00:05:46,056 --> 00:05:47,849 None of your business, jackass. 151 00:05:47,933 --> 00:05:50,977 Whoa! Wha... That's no way to talk to your superior. 152 00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:55,190 That will be one... demerit for you. 153 00:05:55,732 --> 00:05:58,735 Okay, whatever you're doing, stop it. I'm going to study at Kylie's. 154 00:05:58,818 --> 00:06:02,113 Good, good. Go study. Study hard. 155 00:06:02,197 --> 00:06:04,115 School is very important to me, Dylan. 156 00:06:04,199 --> 00:06:06,284 You'll want to tell your mom that. Tell all the moms. 157 00:06:07,035 --> 00:06:10,413 Screw this. Come on, homie. Let's go kick it in my dojo. 158 00:06:12,832 --> 00:06:14,251 (SNORING) 159 00:06:14,334 --> 00:06:16,962 (MAN SPEAKING SPANISH ON TELEVISION) 160 00:06:17,045 --> 00:06:18,505 JIMMY: Oh... 161 00:06:22,676 --> 00:06:24,469 First one asleep. 162 00:06:24,553 --> 00:06:26,096 Sorry, Alba. 163 00:06:26,179 --> 00:06:28,181 Rules are rules. 164 00:06:29,933 --> 00:06:33,645 Dylan, time for your melatonin tea, and then lights out. 165 00:06:33,728 --> 00:06:36,690 CHIP: Just a second. (WHISPERING) Come on, hurry up. 166 00:06:36,773 --> 00:06:39,150 What's going on in there? (CHUCKLES) 167 00:06:39,234 --> 00:06:40,777 You know we don't lock the doors in this house. 168 00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:42,445 (BUMPING, CLATTERING) 169 00:06:42,529 --> 00:06:43,905 -Hurry. -I am. 170 00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:51,246 Smells like lip balm and cigarettes in here. 171 00:06:51,329 --> 00:06:52,706 (CLATTERING, COUGHING) 172 00:06:53,748 --> 00:06:55,208 I can explain. 173 00:06:59,045 --> 00:07:00,380 (GIGGLES) 174 00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:01,548 Who's this? 175 00:07:01,631 --> 00:07:02,632 I'm Olivia. 176 00:07:03,383 --> 00:07:05,552 Who the hell are you? 177 00:07:05,635 --> 00:07:07,262 (LAUGHS) 178 00:07:12,517 --> 00:07:15,562 -Where the hell did this chick come from? -She's Dylan's girlfriend. 179 00:07:15,645 --> 00:07:17,689 She showed up like this, I swear. 180 00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:20,483 -That's, like, a $500 bottle of cognac. -It tastes like ass. 181 00:07:20,567 --> 00:07:22,110 Well, you look like ass. Give that to me. 182 00:07:22,193 --> 00:07:23,528 DYLAN: Please don't tell my mom. 183 00:07:23,612 --> 00:07:25,071 -She'll freak if she finds out. -(DOORBELL RINGS) 184 00:07:25,155 --> 00:07:28,074 Okay, just, you... Don't move. I am not done with you two. 185 00:07:28,158 --> 00:07:30,160 (OLIVIA LAUGHING) 186 00:07:30,243 --> 00:07:32,996 -Get off the bed. -No. 187 00:07:33,747 --> 00:07:35,332 Hey. Can I help you? 188 00:07:35,415 --> 00:07:37,834 I'm sorry to bother you. I'm looking for my daughter Olivia. 189 00:07:37,918 --> 00:07:39,377 Is she here? 190 00:07:39,461 --> 00:07:41,546 Uh, Olivia, no. 191 00:07:41,630 --> 00:07:44,507 No, nobody here by that name. Yeah, sorry about that. 192 00:07:44,591 --> 00:07:46,134 Uh, please, please. 193 00:07:47,052 --> 00:07:50,388 She raided my liquor cabinet and snuck out. 194 00:07:50,472 --> 00:07:52,933 I tracked the GPS on my phone to this house. 195 00:07:53,975 --> 00:07:55,435 Can you just check for me? 196 00:07:56,144 --> 00:07:57,896 Yeah. Yeah. 197 00:07:57,979 --> 00:08:00,232 Yeah, of course I can. Excuse me. 198 00:08:00,982 --> 00:08:02,150 Chip! 199 00:08:02,234 --> 00:08:03,735 -It's your girlfriend. -This is your house. 200 00:08:03,818 --> 00:08:06,947 Oh, well, at least she was drinking on a full stomach... real good. 201 00:08:07,030 --> 00:08:09,741 Okay, Olivia's dad's downstairs. He tracked her phone here. 202 00:08:09,824 --> 00:08:11,243 What? What-What are we gonna do? 203 00:08:11,326 --> 00:08:14,079 Whoa. Just relax, milk thistle. We don't have a lot of time. 204 00:08:14,162 --> 00:08:15,747 -Now, who else knows she's here? -Just us. 205 00:08:15,830 --> 00:08:17,707 Okay, great. So get on her phone and delete anything 206 00:08:17,791 --> 00:08:20,210 that traces her back to the house. Text messages, pictures, whatever. 207 00:08:20,293 --> 00:08:22,420 -Jimmy! -It's locked. 208 00:08:22,504 --> 00:08:25,298 Yeah, so wipe the puke off her thumb and unlock it. Jimmy! 209 00:08:28,093 --> 00:08:30,345 What... What the hell is this? 210 00:08:30,428 --> 00:08:32,597 "Come over to Chip's house." No, wait, dude, hold on. 211 00:08:32,681 --> 00:08:34,766 -"We can use his room to make out." -It's not like that. 212 00:08:34,849 --> 00:08:36,601 -"I think he might be in love with me." -Dude. 213 00:08:36,685 --> 00:08:38,436 You're reading that totally out of context. 214 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,438 "He's trying to impress me by sniffing his own farts." 215 00:08:40,522 --> 00:08:41,940 Bro, I thought you thought it was funny. 216 00:08:42,023 --> 00:08:46,194 I did, I thought it was mad funny, dude, but you kept doing it and it got weird. 217 00:08:46,278 --> 00:08:48,196 Forget you. Let's feed him to the wolves. 218 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,698 -All right, no... -Please do not feed me to the wolves. 219 00:08:49,781 --> 00:08:51,866 No one's gonna be feeding anybody to the wolves. All right? 220 00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:54,119 This is my one shot to get into the system, 221 00:08:54,202 --> 00:08:56,538 and you guys are not gonna blow it for me, understood? 222 00:08:56,621 --> 00:08:59,791 -Oh... that is gross but excellent. -I know. 223 00:08:59,874 --> 00:09:02,252 -What? No, no, no. I know, no. -I'm gonna draw on her. 224 00:09:02,335 --> 00:09:05,046 I know you want to, but you can't 'cause her dad's downstairs. 225 00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:08,383 He traced her here through her phone, like come kind of freakin' CIA agent. 226 00:09:08,466 --> 00:09:12,012 I need you to take the phone and get it as far away from this house as possible. 227 00:09:12,095 --> 00:09:14,139 Mischief. I like it. 228 00:09:14,222 --> 00:09:17,058 Just keep him on the move long enough for us to get his daughter home safely. 229 00:09:17,142 --> 00:09:19,561 -Done. Epic night. -Okay. Oh... Jimmy! 230 00:09:19,644 --> 00:09:22,439 -Yeah? -You want to take the phone? 231 00:09:22,522 --> 00:09:23,940 Oh, yeah. I was so excited. 232 00:09:24,024 --> 00:09:25,692 -You got excited, I know. -I'm, like, halfway. 233 00:09:25,775 --> 00:09:27,861 I know you are. Dylan, you start mopping up. 234 00:09:27,944 --> 00:09:32,157 Chip? You ever want to have anybody over to the house again, come with me. 235 00:09:32,949 --> 00:09:35,035 Hey, yeah, so she's not here. 236 00:09:35,118 --> 00:09:36,745 (SIGHS) 237 00:09:36,828 --> 00:09:39,706 But my nephew did want to tell you something. 238 00:09:39,789 --> 00:09:42,000 Go ahead, Chip. 239 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,794 Olivia was here, but she's gone now. 240 00:09:44,878 --> 00:09:47,797 (SIGHS) Did she say where she was going? 241 00:09:47,881 --> 00:09:49,507 I don't know, it was kind of hard to understand her. 242 00:09:49,591 --> 00:09:51,092 She was really liquored up. 243 00:09:51,176 --> 00:09:52,636 Oh, God, not again. 244 00:09:52,719 --> 00:09:56,056 Yeah, it kind of seemed like she wanted to hook up. 245 00:09:56,139 --> 00:09:59,309 I mean, I wasn't even attracted to her, 'cause I like confident women... 246 00:09:59,392 --> 00:10:01,978 Knock it off, knock it off. That'll do. 247 00:10:02,062 --> 00:10:04,648 So sorry about your daughter. And we do hope you find her. 248 00:10:04,731 --> 00:10:06,983 But wait, wait, wait. It says right here... 249 00:10:07,067 --> 00:10:09,319 -She's on the move. -Oh? 250 00:10:09,402 --> 00:10:10,862 -I'm sorry, I've got to go. -CHIP: All right. 251 00:10:10,946 --> 00:10:12,405 -It's cool, good luck, yeah. -Hope you find her. 252 00:10:12,489 --> 00:10:13,698 I mean... 253 00:10:13,782 --> 00:10:15,200 -Is he gone? -MICKEY: Yeah, for now. 254 00:10:15,283 --> 00:10:17,035 But we've gotta move fast. 255 00:10:17,118 --> 00:10:18,787 Okay, Chip, open it up. 256 00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:21,331 What? Not the trunk. You trying to get me crucified? 257 00:10:21,414 --> 00:10:22,499 I'm sorry, I've never held a... 258 00:10:22,582 --> 00:10:23,875 -(RETCHING) -Oh! 259 00:10:23,959 --> 00:10:25,043 -Oh, my God. -Okay. 260 00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:26,920 I thought she got it all out in the living room. 261 00:10:27,003 --> 00:10:29,047 My bad. Trunk it is. We're not going too far. 262 00:10:29,923 --> 00:10:31,591 Come on. 263 00:10:31,675 --> 00:10:33,593 (PANTING) 264 00:10:35,512 --> 00:10:36,805 Yeah. 265 00:10:38,056 --> 00:10:41,017 Do a water and a beer. 266 00:10:41,685 --> 00:10:43,144 Mischief. 267 00:10:44,771 --> 00:10:46,231 (SIGHS) Yeah. 268 00:10:50,402 --> 00:10:51,695 (SIGHS) Yeah. 269 00:10:51,778 --> 00:10:53,572 (PANTING) 270 00:10:58,118 --> 00:11:01,830 (RINGTONE PLAYING) 'Cause it feels so good to be bad 271 00:11:01,913 --> 00:11:06,251 I don't even try to be but it's all right... 272 00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:09,004 -You son of a bitch. -Oh. 273 00:11:10,589 --> 00:11:12,132 Oh. 274 00:11:12,215 --> 00:11:14,676 All right, you know, I can explain this. 275 00:11:16,177 --> 00:11:18,722 Aunt Mickey, I had a nightmare. 276 00:11:20,891 --> 00:11:22,642 Aunt Mickey? 277 00:11:29,941 --> 00:11:31,151 Hello? 278 00:11:31,234 --> 00:11:32,903 Anybody there? 279 00:11:32,986 --> 00:11:35,655 -Where are you guys? -(FOOTSTEP SPLATS) 280 00:11:38,491 --> 00:11:40,535 He's here. He's here. He's here. (GASPS) 281 00:11:40,619 --> 00:11:42,370 Alba. 282 00:11:42,454 --> 00:11:44,372 Alba. 283 00:11:44,456 --> 00:11:46,625 Alba, wake up! 284 00:11:46,708 --> 00:11:48,793 There's a monster in the house! 285 00:11:48,877 --> 00:11:49,961 Wake up. 286 00:11:51,504 --> 00:11:52,923 Alba! 287 00:11:53,006 --> 00:11:55,675 -(GURGLING) -Where is she? 288 00:11:56,343 --> 00:11:57,677 Where is she? 289 00:11:57,761 --> 00:11:58,803 (GRUNTS) 290 00:11:58,887 --> 00:12:00,889 What are you doing with my daughter's phone? 291 00:12:00,972 --> 00:12:01,973 I don't know. 292 00:12:05,310 --> 00:12:06,728 (GROANS) 293 00:12:08,939 --> 00:12:10,315 I just found it, all right? 294 00:12:10,398 --> 00:12:12,734 Pack of girls comes in here like Coyote Ugly, 295 00:12:12,817 --> 00:12:13,818 and one of 'em drops it. 296 00:12:14,486 --> 00:12:15,487 Oh, my God. 297 00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:16,905 Oh, my God, I'm sorry. 298 00:12:18,365 --> 00:12:20,242 What have I done? 299 00:12:21,201 --> 00:12:22,369 I'm just... 300 00:12:23,411 --> 00:12:25,247 I'm scared to death about my daughter. 301 00:12:26,873 --> 00:12:29,042 (GROANS) 302 00:12:29,125 --> 00:12:30,669 How old is she? 303 00:12:31,545 --> 00:12:33,588 She's 14. 304 00:12:33,672 --> 00:12:36,841 Yeah, that's about the time they start going nuts. 305 00:12:38,885 --> 00:12:42,764 Their whole system down there is firing off God knows when. 306 00:12:42,847 --> 00:12:45,559 They got every magazine cover telling them they're ugly, 307 00:12:45,642 --> 00:12:48,812 uncomfortable shoes and lotions and creams. 308 00:12:48,895 --> 00:12:51,356 Too much, for everybody. 309 00:12:51,439 --> 00:12:53,441 You're a dad, too? 310 00:12:53,525 --> 00:12:56,861 Oh yeah... yeah, big-time. 311 00:12:58,488 --> 00:13:02,033 18, 14 and seven. Seven was a surprise. 312 00:13:02,117 --> 00:13:06,246 My wife had her tubes tied, but my guys busted through. 313 00:13:07,497 --> 00:13:10,041 I'm sorry I kicked your ass like that. 314 00:13:10,125 --> 00:13:12,002 Yeah, you didn't really kick my ass, all right? 315 00:13:12,085 --> 00:13:14,921 You just... you got a drop on me. 316 00:13:16,548 --> 00:13:18,008 Thank you. 317 00:13:18,091 --> 00:13:21,636 You just drive... just drive safe. 318 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:22,888 (DOOR CLOSES) 319 00:13:22,971 --> 00:13:24,180 (GROANING) 320 00:13:24,264 --> 00:13:26,516 Come on, this chick is heavy. 321 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,351 She's got, like, a million freakin' keys. 322 00:13:28,435 --> 00:13:29,769 There's a car coming! 323 00:13:29,853 --> 00:13:31,813 Okay, last one, and we're tossing her in the bushes. 324 00:13:31,897 --> 00:13:33,899 Oh, you got lucky, bitch. 325 00:13:37,193 --> 00:13:39,029 (OLIVIA COUGHING) 326 00:13:39,112 --> 00:13:40,322 Oh, come on, Chip. 327 00:13:40,405 --> 00:13:41,990 I thought she was gonna yak on me. 328 00:13:42,073 --> 00:13:44,075 You and the backstabber take over from here. 329 00:13:44,159 --> 00:13:45,660 -Dude, I'm sorry, okay? -(GRUNTS) 330 00:13:45,744 --> 00:13:48,246 I only said those things to make Olivia laugh. 331 00:13:48,330 --> 00:13:50,457 Oh, so I'm like a joke to you now. 332 00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:53,919 All right, fine. I'll admit it, at first, we just needed a place to hook up. 333 00:13:54,002 --> 00:13:56,213 But then I really started to like you. 334 00:13:56,296 --> 00:13:58,590 Okay, so now you're using me for my trash house? 335 00:13:58,673 --> 00:14:01,509 Hey! Stop calling it that, okay? It's a mansion. 336 00:14:01,593 --> 00:14:04,012 All right, come on, as if you weren't using me for my popularity. 337 00:14:04,095 --> 00:14:07,057 It wasn't like that, Dylan. It was always about you. 338 00:14:07,766 --> 00:14:09,059 Can't we just be homies again? 339 00:14:09,142 --> 00:14:12,520 (SCOFFS) I wish we could, but it's a little too late for that now. 340 00:14:12,604 --> 00:14:16,149 Okay, can you guys either fight or kiss or just shut the hell up, please? 341 00:14:16,233 --> 00:14:17,859 (DOOR CLOSES, FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 342 00:14:17,943 --> 00:14:18,985 (WHISPERS) Someone's home. 343 00:14:19,069 --> 00:14:21,863 -Okay, hide, hide, hide. -Where? 344 00:14:21,947 --> 00:14:24,699 Uh, here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 345 00:14:24,783 --> 00:14:26,660 Shh, shh, shh. Shh! 346 00:14:27,661 --> 00:14:28,662 MICKEY: Ouch! 347 00:14:32,791 --> 00:14:35,377 Oh, Olivia. Thank God. 348 00:14:36,711 --> 00:14:38,838 (WHISPERING) Oh, God, the jig is up. We're so toast. 349 00:14:38,922 --> 00:14:39,923 Shh. 350 00:14:40,006 --> 00:14:41,758 If he sees us, he's within his rights to shoot us. 351 00:14:41,841 --> 00:14:43,760 If you guys don't shut up, I'm gonna shoot you. 352 00:14:43,843 --> 00:14:45,887 You scared the hell out of me tonight, kiddo. 353 00:14:46,721 --> 00:14:49,975 Look, I know I haven't always been the best father, 354 00:14:50,058 --> 00:14:53,937 but you have got to cool it with this behavior. 355 00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,730 She's damaged goods. 356 00:14:56,314 --> 00:14:59,526 OLIVIA: I want a freakin' grilled cheese. 357 00:14:59,609 --> 00:15:01,570 God, that sounds good. I'm starving. 358 00:15:01,653 --> 00:15:04,906 Shh. Just get some rest. 359 00:15:04,990 --> 00:15:06,700 (SIGHS) 360 00:15:06,783 --> 00:15:08,994 We'll talk about it in the morning. 361 00:15:11,288 --> 00:15:13,206 (FOOTSTEPS RECEDING) 362 00:15:13,290 --> 00:15:14,624 -(SIGHS) -Shh. 363 00:15:14,708 --> 00:15:18,086 Better tell your mom I was like a freaking prison warden. 364 00:15:18,169 --> 00:15:20,672 -(DOORBELL RINGS) -(GASPS) 365 00:15:20,755 --> 00:15:22,007 Shh. 366 00:15:22,841 --> 00:15:24,301 Shh, shh. 367 00:15:25,427 --> 00:15:27,470 -(DOORBELL RINGS) -Shh. 368 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:32,017 Hello. 369 00:15:33,184 --> 00:15:34,895 -DYLAN: Mom? -(DOOR CLOSES) 370 00:15:34,978 --> 00:15:36,396 Damn it, Dylan, your mom tracked your phone here. 371 00:15:36,479 --> 00:15:38,940 -My-my phone doesn't have tracking. -Then what's she doing here? 372 00:15:39,024 --> 00:15:41,192 You would not believe the night I've had. 373 00:15:41,276 --> 00:15:42,652 Poor baby. 374 00:15:42,736 --> 00:15:44,571 Let me make it all better. 375 00:15:46,156 --> 00:15:47,449 (KAREN AND DON MOANING) 376 00:15:47,532 --> 00:15:49,326 -(GASPING) -Shh. 377 00:15:49,409 --> 00:15:51,703 (BOTH LAUGHING) 378 00:15:53,121 --> 00:15:57,751 This... is... awesome. 379 00:16:10,513 --> 00:16:13,183 Alba, wake up! 380 00:16:13,266 --> 00:16:14,935 (SCREAMING) 381 00:16:15,018 --> 00:16:16,061 (SCREAMING) 382 00:16:16,144 --> 00:16:18,563 Monster! 383 00:16:18,647 --> 00:16:19,898 Benito! 384 00:16:19,981 --> 00:16:21,274 (SHOUTING) 385 00:16:21,358 --> 00:16:22,901 Oh, no. 386 00:16:22,984 --> 00:16:24,236 (GRUNTS) 387 00:16:24,319 --> 00:16:26,196 Oh, no. That's not good. 388 00:16:26,279 --> 00:16:27,906 No. Ugh! 389 00:16:27,989 --> 00:16:30,033 Benito! 390 00:16:30,116 --> 00:16:31,159 Oh, no! 391 00:16:31,243 --> 00:16:32,661 Where you go? 392 00:16:32,744 --> 00:16:35,622 (CHUCKLES) All right, guys. 393 00:16:35,705 --> 00:16:37,624 Yo, check this out. 394 00:16:37,707 --> 00:16:39,251 (KAREN AND DON SIGH) 395 00:16:39,334 --> 00:16:40,377 Better? 396 00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:41,711 So much better. 397 00:16:41,795 --> 00:16:44,047 (LAUGHS) 398 00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:45,590 (KAREN SIGHS) 399 00:16:45,674 --> 00:16:48,510 For what it's worth, your mom's got a pretty rocking body. 400 00:16:48,593 --> 00:16:51,096 Chip, shut up. Oh! 401 00:16:51,179 --> 00:16:54,641 -Don is live and uncut. -Gross. 402 00:16:54,724 --> 00:16:56,142 How'd you get away, anyway? 403 00:16:56,226 --> 00:16:58,853 Dylan's spending the night at his friend Chip's. 404 00:16:58,937 --> 00:17:02,440 Chip Pemberton? Short little toad, red hair? 405 00:17:02,524 --> 00:17:03,942 KAREN: Yeah. 406 00:17:04,025 --> 00:17:05,860 I think he's in love with Dylan or something. 407 00:17:05,944 --> 00:17:08,154 DON: I was at his house earlier looking for Olivia. 408 00:17:08,238 --> 00:17:09,823 He didn't say anything about Dylan being there. 409 00:17:09,906 --> 00:17:11,741 That's weird. 410 00:17:11,825 --> 00:17:13,660 DON: Olivia was pretty hammered when she got home, too. 411 00:17:13,743 --> 00:17:15,036 Come on. 412 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,289 That's it. I'm calling right now. 413 00:17:17,372 --> 00:17:20,250 (PHONE VIBRATING) 414 00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:22,627 No, no, no, no. 415 00:17:24,004 --> 00:17:25,881 That bitch just hung up on me. 416 00:17:27,215 --> 00:17:28,884 -I'm driving over there. -Right now? 417 00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:31,553 What? Come on. 418 00:17:31,636 --> 00:17:33,513 Bye. Thank you. 419 00:17:34,556 --> 00:17:37,017 All right, mom of the year's got a head start, 420 00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,768 so we got to hurry. Go, go, go. 421 00:17:40,145 --> 00:17:42,898 I don't want to alarm you, but we hit anything below dog, 422 00:17:42,981 --> 00:17:46,276 -and we're not stopping. -(ENGINE REVVING) 423 00:17:49,154 --> 00:17:50,739 You guys go upstairs. She's gonna be here soon. 424 00:17:50,822 --> 00:17:52,657 -What's this? -Aunt Mickey! 425 00:17:52,741 --> 00:17:54,117 The monster's real and it's scary! 426 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,453 -(GROANS) -He either wants to drown me in his barf 427 00:17:56,536 --> 00:17:58,163 -or skin me alive with his claws! -I know. 428 00:17:58,246 --> 00:17:59,664 It's okay, it's okay, don't worry, don't worry. 429 00:17:59,748 --> 00:18:01,291 Listen, I know you're upset, and you're scared of the monster 430 00:18:01,374 --> 00:18:03,460 and I'm sorry, but I've told you a hundred times, they're not real, okay? 431 00:18:03,543 --> 00:18:06,379 -So you don't... -(GROANING) Benito... 432 00:18:06,463 --> 00:18:08,048 (SCREAMS) 433 00:18:08,131 --> 00:18:09,341 Oh! 434 00:18:10,550 --> 00:18:12,677 Alba? Oh. 435 00:18:12,761 --> 00:18:14,387 You don't come creeping up behind someone... 436 00:18:14,471 --> 00:18:15,931 -(DOORBELL RINGS) -Coming! 437 00:18:16,014 --> 00:18:18,600 Here you go. You see? That's all you got to do. 438 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,941 -Karen? Hey. Oh. -Dylan? 439 00:18:26,024 --> 00:18:28,026 Come on in. 440 00:18:28,109 --> 00:18:30,153 Is, um, s-something the matter? 441 00:18:30,237 --> 00:18:31,988 I called, but no one answered. 442 00:18:32,072 --> 00:18:35,033 I know. Oh, gosh. The-the reception's real spotty. 443 00:18:35,116 --> 00:18:36,284 -(SCOFFS) -You know. 444 00:18:36,368 --> 00:18:38,161 Oh, hey, Mom. What are you doing here? 445 00:18:38,245 --> 00:18:40,455 Well, I was worried, but... 446 00:18:40,538 --> 00:18:41,998 Yeah. 447 00:18:42,082 --> 00:18:44,209 ...looks like everything is okay. 448 00:18:44,292 --> 00:18:45,710 CHIP: Evening, Ms. Sherman. 449 00:18:45,794 --> 00:18:47,963 -Mmm-hmm. -Got a real glow about you. 450 00:18:49,881 --> 00:18:52,217 -What is that? -What? 451 00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:54,636 -Did you not read the list? -Oh. 452 00:18:54,719 --> 00:18:56,012 I was very clear. 453 00:18:56,096 --> 00:18:58,807 No phone after 8:00. 454 00:18:58,890 --> 00:19:00,141 MICKEY: Yeah, I know. 455 00:19:00,225 --> 00:19:01,393 No, the thing is I-I did read the list. 456 00:19:01,476 --> 00:19:02,727 -Right? I read the list. -Yeah. 457 00:19:02,811 --> 00:19:04,312 Yeah, I just must have forgotten that one. 458 00:19:04,396 --> 00:19:06,314 You just missed that one? (CHUCKLES) 459 00:19:07,399 --> 00:19:09,150 I'm sorry, but that's not gonna fly with me. 460 00:19:09,734 --> 00:19:11,820 Huh. Yeah, gosh. 461 00:19:11,903 --> 00:19:14,573 Just seems like a pretty small thing in the whole scheme 462 00:19:14,656 --> 00:19:16,658 of what could've gone wrong tonight, you know? 463 00:19:16,741 --> 00:19:18,785 Dylan, we're leaving. 464 00:19:18,868 --> 00:19:19,995 What? Mom, stop. 465 00:19:20,078 --> 00:19:23,456 Hush. I trusted this woman, despite her reputation, 466 00:19:23,540 --> 00:19:25,417 and she has betrayed Mommy's trust. 467 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:27,419 Oh, hmm. Just like you betrayed Dad's? 468 00:19:27,502 --> 00:19:30,130 Mmm-kay, ginseng, you sure you know what you're doing here? 469 00:19:30,213 --> 00:19:32,090 What? 470 00:19:32,173 --> 00:19:33,800 Uh, I know about you and Don. 471 00:19:34,885 --> 00:19:37,012 -How? -I-It doesn't matter how, Karen! 472 00:19:37,095 --> 00:19:38,805 'Cause I freaking know everything! 473 00:19:38,889 --> 00:19:41,016 So why don't you mind your own little messed up life 474 00:19:41,099 --> 00:19:42,309 and butt out of mine? 475 00:19:42,392 --> 00:19:44,811 (DOORBELL RINGS) 476 00:19:44,895 --> 00:19:45,979 (CHUCKLES) Okay. 477 00:19:46,813 --> 00:19:48,857 Excuse me. I'm gonna get that. 478 00:19:48,940 --> 00:19:52,861 But is it just me, or do you feel like I'm not the worst parent in the room? 479 00:19:52,944 --> 00:19:54,863 (LAUGHS) 480 00:19:56,364 --> 00:19:58,116 (EXHALES) 481 00:19:58,199 --> 00:19:59,284 (MICKEY CHUCKLES) 482 00:19:59,367 --> 00:20:00,994 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING, GIRLS LAUGHING) 483 00:20:01,077 --> 00:20:02,287 (CAR DOOR CLOSES, SABRINA SNORING) 484 00:20:02,370 --> 00:20:03,663 MICKEY: Hmm. GIRL: Good night, princess! 485 00:20:03,747 --> 00:20:06,416 -No idea who that is. -(CAR DRIVES OFF, GIRLS WHOOPING) 486 00:20:06,499 --> 00:20:09,836 Come on, Dylan. We're leaving. 487 00:20:13,215 --> 00:20:15,175 Listen, I'm sorry I've been such a jerk, man. 488 00:20:15,258 --> 00:20:16,676 Water under the bridge. 489 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,637 I'm sorry you had to see your mom naked. 490 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,263 That's got to be pretty intense. 491 00:20:22,265 --> 00:20:23,850 Yeah. Yeah, it was, but... 492 00:20:24,392 --> 00:20:26,394 hey, at least I came out of it with a homie, right? 493 00:20:26,478 --> 00:20:28,688 For sure, brah. 494 00:20:34,110 --> 00:20:35,654 (GROANS) 495 00:20:35,737 --> 00:20:39,115 Oh, Chip 'n Dip, by the way, next week, sleepover at my house, all right? 496 00:20:39,199 --> 00:20:40,742 For sure, D-Train. 497 00:20:40,825 --> 00:20:42,369 All right, word to Big Bird, bro. 498 00:20:45,121 --> 00:20:46,706 Okay. 499 00:20:46,790 --> 00:20:50,293 All in all, I think that's one for the win column, huh? 500 00:20:50,377 --> 00:20:52,462 We are totally in the system, my friend. 501 00:20:53,255 --> 00:20:55,131 And I totally bagged Dylan. 502 00:20:56,383 --> 00:20:58,468 I wish you could hear yourself. 503 00:20:58,552 --> 00:21:00,554 -(GROANS) -Want to bring her inside? 504 00:21:01,805 --> 00:21:03,598 No. I don't feel like it. 505 00:21:12,148 --> 00:21:14,359 -Morning. -Morning. 506 00:21:14,442 --> 00:21:15,735 (MICKEY SNORING) 507 00:21:17,070 --> 00:21:18,989 (JIMMY EXHALES) 508 00:21:19,072 --> 00:21:21,074 (MICKEY CONTINUES SNORING) 509 00:21:36,965 --> 00:21:38,425 SABRINA: None of your business, jackass.