1 00:00:01,127 --> 00:00:04,047 (BEN AND CHIP SCREAMING) 2 00:00:07,884 --> 00:00:09,719 What is happening? Is everything okay? 3 00:00:09,803 --> 00:00:11,012 No, it's not okay! 4 00:00:11,096 --> 00:00:13,598 A frickin' tarantula almost bit my frickin' arm off! 5 00:00:13,682 --> 00:00:15,475 Aunt Mickey, do something! I'm scared! 6 00:00:15,559 --> 00:00:16,560 Where? 7 00:00:16,643 --> 00:00:18,019 -Right there! -Right frickin' there! 8 00:00:18,103 --> 00:00:19,229 Are you blind? 9 00:00:20,397 --> 00:00:22,941 Are you talking about that? The itsy bitsy spider? 10 00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:24,526 (WHISPERING) Yeah. 11 00:00:24,609 --> 00:00:27,529 Wow, ladies. All right, fine, I'll squish it. 12 00:00:27,654 --> 00:00:28,780 No! Don't hurt it! 13 00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:30,865 Oh, my God. 14 00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:36,413 (BEN AND CHIP SCREAMING) 15 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,415 Are you serious? 16 00:00:38,498 --> 00:00:40,000 You're frickin' suicidal, man. 17 00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:42,836 Guys, that was tough for me to watch as a parent. 18 00:00:42,919 --> 00:00:43,920 You're not a parent. 19 00:00:44,004 --> 00:00:46,006 Good. 'Cause if I was, I'd be incredibly ashamed. 20 00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:47,173 You are so soft. 21 00:00:47,257 --> 00:00:48,884 (GROANS) Coffee. 22 00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:50,552 Get your own coffee. 23 00:00:58,935 --> 00:01:00,729 -Mug. -There are no mugs. 24 00:01:00,854 --> 00:01:02,355 They piled up in the sink. I found it irritating. 25 00:01:02,439 --> 00:01:03,440 Tossed 'em. 26 00:01:20,665 --> 00:01:22,000 (GULPS) Morning. 27 00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,168 Morning. 28 00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:24,252 Hi. 29 00:01:24,336 --> 00:01:25,795 Hi. What are you doing today, Jimmy? 30 00:01:25,879 --> 00:01:28,673 Oh, boy. I was gonna go down to the airport 31 00:01:28,757 --> 00:01:30,842 and watch the planes land. 32 00:01:30,926 --> 00:01:33,637 Mmm. Sounds pressing. Uh, instead of that though, 33 00:01:33,762 --> 00:01:35,722 why don't you take these two out for a guys' day? 34 00:01:36,556 --> 00:01:37,641 What? Why? 35 00:01:37,724 --> 00:01:39,267 'Cause, clearly, I'm failing you as a father. 36 00:01:39,351 --> 00:01:41,228 You two need to learn to act like men. 37 00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:43,521 This is your idea of a man? The guy's an animal. 38 00:01:43,605 --> 00:01:45,398 Well, he's the closest thing we've got. 39 00:01:45,482 --> 00:01:46,733 Maybe you'll all neutralize each other 40 00:01:46,816 --> 00:01:48,485 and come back decent human beings. 41 00:01:48,568 --> 00:01:50,904 Eh, no problem. 42 00:01:50,987 --> 00:01:52,113 I'll make men out of 'em. 43 00:01:52,239 --> 00:01:53,657 You don't need to make men out of 'em. 44 00:01:53,740 --> 00:01:55,951 Just take 'em to a ball game or something. You know, guy stuff. 45 00:01:57,077 --> 00:01:58,245 Okay. 46 00:01:59,037 --> 00:02:00,330 I'll do it. 47 00:02:04,251 --> 00:02:06,336 I'm bored. Let's do something. 48 00:02:06,419 --> 00:02:08,838 Well, I've never tried mushrooms. 49 00:02:08,922 --> 00:02:12,175 Seems kind of extreme for... for mid-morning. 50 00:02:12,259 --> 00:02:13,468 Well, what else? 51 00:02:13,552 --> 00:02:15,470 I don't know. Let's do a girls' day or something. 52 00:02:15,554 --> 00:02:17,180 You know, the guys are out doing their thing. 53 00:02:17,264 --> 00:02:18,265 I am listening. 54 00:02:18,348 --> 00:02:20,350 Why don't we just be predictable for once? 55 00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:22,185 Let's head into the city, grab some brunch, 56 00:02:22,269 --> 00:02:24,145 like ladies do, get some mani-pedis. 57 00:02:24,229 --> 00:02:26,439 Oh! We should go to the Armenian part of town 58 00:02:26,523 --> 00:02:27,983 and hit up the hookah bars. 59 00:02:28,483 --> 00:02:30,110 Oh. Uh... 60 00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:32,487 seems a little off theme, but, sure, yeah, why not? 61 00:02:32,571 --> 00:02:33,780 ALBA: Yeah. Okay. 62 00:02:33,863 --> 00:02:35,574 Oh, hey, girl! What do you got going on today? 63 00:02:35,657 --> 00:02:37,450 Don't answer that. Listen to this. 64 00:02:37,534 --> 00:02:40,453 City, brunch, manis, pedis, hookah. In or out? 65 00:02:40,537 --> 00:02:42,330 -Out. -What? Was it the hookah? 66 00:02:42,414 --> 00:02:44,332 It was everything. But I have a doctor's appointment. 67 00:02:44,416 --> 00:02:46,668 -You're not feeling well? -It's more of a consultation. 68 00:02:46,751 --> 00:02:47,919 I'm getting breast implants. 69 00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:49,713 What? Why? 70 00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:53,008 I mean, I know why. But why? 71 00:02:53,091 --> 00:02:55,051 -Because I want to. -I thought you were a feminist. 72 00:02:55,135 --> 00:02:57,512 You can be a feminist and also be sexy. 73 00:02:57,596 --> 00:02:58,972 Oh, my God. Okay. 74 00:02:59,723 --> 00:03:01,933 I can appreciate that you're young and stupid. I really can. 75 00:03:02,058 --> 00:03:03,393 But let me take you to school for a second. 76 00:03:03,476 --> 00:03:06,271 Sexy is finding the thing that you hate most about yourself 77 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:08,315 and then shoving it into somebody else's face 78 00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:09,816 until they think that you're okay with it. 79 00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:11,735 -Yeah. Like Adrien Brody's nose. -Yeah. 80 00:03:11,818 --> 00:03:13,361 I don't want Adrien Brody's nose for boobs. 81 00:03:13,445 --> 00:03:15,488 Yeah, okay. Well, I don't want my knees, but that's life. 82 00:03:15,572 --> 00:03:17,782 -What's wrong with your knees? -My knees are disgusting. 83 00:03:17,866 --> 00:03:19,159 That's a weird insecurity. 84 00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:20,327 Stop talking about my knees! 85 00:03:20,410 --> 00:03:21,828 Okay? It's not about my knees, okay? 86 00:03:21,912 --> 00:03:23,204 You're not getting a boob job. 87 00:03:23,288 --> 00:03:25,498 Your mom's not here, and I'm not signing off on it. 88 00:03:25,582 --> 00:03:27,334 My mom bought them for me. 89 00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:28,960 They're my 18th birthday present. 90 00:03:29,085 --> 00:03:30,337 Well, you're 17. 91 00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:32,923 -I'm gonna hit the ground running. -Then I'm coming with you. 92 00:03:33,006 --> 00:03:34,966 There's gonna be at least one voice of reason in that room. 93 00:03:35,050 --> 00:03:36,801 -What about brunch? -I'm sorry, Alba, 94 00:03:36,885 --> 00:03:39,346 brunch is canceled on account of Sabrina's stupidity. 95 00:03:39,429 --> 00:03:41,723 Aw, come... (CLICKS TONGUE) 96 00:03:42,682 --> 00:03:43,934 (CROWD CHEERING) 97 00:03:44,017 --> 00:03:45,644 Whoa, is he okay? 98 00:03:45,727 --> 00:03:48,021 Yeah, he's on top of the world. Can't you tell? 99 00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:50,023 I don't get this whole fandom thing. 100 00:03:50,106 --> 00:03:53,026 A bunch of middle-aged slobs dressed up like some kid half their age, 101 00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:55,070 like they're a part of something. It's pathetic. 102 00:03:55,153 --> 00:03:57,072 Yeah, boys. 103 00:03:57,155 --> 00:03:59,616 I'm gonna get sick today. I know it. 104 00:04:01,076 --> 00:04:04,829 All right, I was able to scalp two tickets together near the end zone. 105 00:04:04,913 --> 00:04:06,790 Ben and I will be there with the diehards. 106 00:04:06,873 --> 00:04:10,961 And you are in section 339, row double-Q. 107 00:04:11,086 --> 00:04:13,880 Might want to wear some sunblock. You're gonna get scorched. 108 00:04:13,964 --> 00:04:15,549 Why am I sitting alone? 109 00:04:15,632 --> 00:04:18,093 -'Cause I bought the tickets. -I gave you the money. 110 00:04:18,176 --> 00:04:20,387 Okay, let's not get bogged down in the details right now. 111 00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:22,847 I don't even want to be here. I like my sports in high definition. 112 00:04:22,931 --> 00:04:25,809 Buck up, Mary. Part of being a man's going it alone. 113 00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:28,395 Let's meet at this light post 20 minutes after the game. 114 00:04:28,478 --> 00:04:30,772 There's a million light posts. 115 00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:32,691 Oh, really, are there a million light posts? 116 00:04:34,651 --> 00:04:35,694 All right, fine. 117 00:04:35,777 --> 00:04:38,405 Then the light post next to the red car, smart guy. 118 00:04:38,488 --> 00:04:41,449 Let's get in there. I like to berate the opposing team during warm-ups. 119 00:04:41,533 --> 00:04:43,451 Turtle town, baby! 120 00:04:43,535 --> 00:04:45,036 Screw this. 121 00:04:46,538 --> 00:04:47,998 Where can I get a ticket? 122 00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:51,251 Thanks. 123 00:04:52,544 --> 00:04:54,921 MICKEY: (SCOFFS) "Dr. J. Goodby." 124 00:04:55,005 --> 00:04:57,340 -Stupid name. -What? 125 00:04:58,049 --> 00:05:00,468 Sabrina, nice to see you again. 126 00:05:00,552 --> 00:05:03,054 -Hi, I'm Dr. Goodby. -Mmm-hmm. 127 00:05:03,722 --> 00:05:06,099 Yeah. Yeah, you would be. 128 00:05:06,182 --> 00:05:07,517 Please. 129 00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:11,938 Well, clearly very good at what you do. 130 00:05:12,022 --> 00:05:13,607 Ignore her. 131 00:05:13,690 --> 00:05:15,442 So what brings you in today? 132 00:05:15,525 --> 00:05:17,277 Cut the crap, Goodby. We all know why we're here. 133 00:05:17,402 --> 00:05:19,696 Right. Breast implants. 134 00:05:19,779 --> 00:05:21,948 I see your mom already paid for everything. 135 00:05:22,032 --> 00:05:24,743 Yeah, she's gunning for mother of the year. 136 00:05:24,826 --> 00:05:27,412 Well, all you have to do is choose a size. 137 00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:29,998 What would you recommend? I don't want to go freakish with it, 138 00:05:30,081 --> 00:05:31,291 I just want to look more mature. 139 00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:33,501 -You already look 25. -Then again, the last thing I want 140 00:05:33,585 --> 00:05:35,712 -is to feel like I didn't go big enough. -Oh, God. 141 00:05:35,795 --> 00:05:37,422 How do you think a "D" would look? 142 00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:40,342 Like a broom. With cantaloupes taped onto it. 143 00:05:41,092 --> 00:05:44,137 Well, we do have some model implants, if you'd like to see for yourself. 144 00:05:44,221 --> 00:05:45,263 Thank you. 145 00:05:46,765 --> 00:05:49,184 There are a couple of options: 146 00:05:49,267 --> 00:05:51,728 saline, a sterile saltwater solution 147 00:05:51,811 --> 00:05:54,522 or silicone, a sturdier gel substance. 148 00:05:55,106 --> 00:05:56,524 Saline, definitely. It's more natural. 149 00:05:56,608 --> 00:05:59,444 Mmm. Yeah, always going green, this one. 150 00:05:59,903 --> 00:06:01,821 Go ahead. You're welcome to touch. 151 00:06:03,448 --> 00:06:04,991 Want to feel? 152 00:06:06,117 --> 00:06:08,203 Well, yeah, I mean, obviously, I want to feel. 153 00:06:08,286 --> 00:06:09,287 (CHUCKLES) 154 00:06:11,498 --> 00:06:13,041 Yeah. Okay. 155 00:06:13,792 --> 00:06:15,502 -Got a real weight to 'em. -Mmm. 156 00:06:16,253 --> 00:06:18,255 Squishy. Nice. 157 00:06:18,338 --> 00:06:19,673 Um... 158 00:06:19,756 --> 00:06:21,967 what do you think about us taking 'em for a spin? 159 00:06:22,050 --> 00:06:23,343 It's not a used car lot. 160 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:24,970 Oh, it's no problem. Let me get a gown. 161 00:06:25,053 --> 00:06:27,389 Oh, no, I was thinking more along the lines of a field test. 162 00:06:27,472 --> 00:06:28,807 Think it'd be pretty good for this one 163 00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:30,100 to see what people think about her new friends. 164 00:06:30,183 --> 00:06:31,393 I don't care what people think. 165 00:06:31,476 --> 00:06:33,562 But you care enough to get 'em in the first place, so... 166 00:06:33,645 --> 00:06:34,813 It's fine, right? 167 00:06:34,896 --> 00:06:36,439 What do you say? We'll just take 'em around the block, 168 00:06:36,523 --> 00:06:37,774 have 'em back by supper. 169 00:06:39,526 --> 00:06:41,278 (SIGHS) 170 00:06:41,361 --> 00:06:43,363 Okay. Just be careful. 171 00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:47,450 You got it. What do you say, want to walk a mile in these boobs? 172 00:06:50,870 --> 00:06:53,832 -Good morning. Excuse me. Hi. Hi there. -Oh, hi. 173 00:06:53,915 --> 00:06:56,835 Excuse me. Hi. Beautiful day, isn't it? 174 00:06:56,918 --> 00:06:58,461 Excuse me. 175 00:06:58,545 --> 00:07:00,255 What's up? Hey. 176 00:07:00,338 --> 00:07:01,339 How you doing? 177 00:07:01,423 --> 00:07:03,592 -Wow. -I mean, my goodness. 178 00:07:03,675 --> 00:07:05,385 Do you feel this energy shift? 179 00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:06,928 I feel like everyone's staring right at me. 180 00:07:07,012 --> 00:07:08,388 Yeah, maybe it's because you're working the room 181 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:09,973 like you're the mayor of Tit Town. 182 00:07:10,056 --> 00:07:11,600 Yeah. You want to pop 'em on? 183 00:07:11,683 --> 00:07:13,184 This is gonna be you from now on. 184 00:07:13,268 --> 00:07:14,769 No, it won't. Mine'll be attached to my body, 185 00:07:14,853 --> 00:07:17,188 not Frankensteined into my bra. 186 00:07:17,272 --> 00:07:18,440 I'll get us a table. 187 00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:20,400 Cool. I'm just gonna hang back here 188 00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:22,485 and have humongous boobs. 189 00:07:25,697 --> 00:07:27,198 What's shakin', pal? 190 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,245 He said it's gonna be an hour wait. Let's get out of here. 191 00:07:32,329 --> 00:07:34,581 Hmm. No, it's okay, we got plenty of time. 192 00:07:34,664 --> 00:07:36,750 Uh, one thing I'm noticing... all the women hate me. 193 00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:38,793 -You picking up on that? -Yeah. I am. 194 00:07:38,877 --> 00:07:40,670 It's because you're eye-banging their husbands. 195 00:07:40,754 --> 00:07:43,048 No, I'm not. That's what's bugging me. 196 00:07:43,131 --> 00:07:44,424 I'm trying to eye-bang their husbands, 197 00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,509 but I can't seem to make eye contact with any of them. 198 00:07:46,593 --> 00:07:49,387 Too busy staring at my tig ol' bitties, you know? 199 00:07:49,471 --> 00:07:52,182 Back's kind of starting to cramp up, too. I got to be honest, 200 00:07:52,265 --> 00:07:54,017 I'm not seeing a whole lot of upside to this arrangement. 201 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:55,602 Just give me the boobs. 202 00:07:55,685 --> 00:07:57,062 -Yeah? -Yeah. 203 00:07:58,730 --> 00:08:00,857 That's the spirit. 204 00:08:10,575 --> 00:08:11,952 There we go. You're good. 205 00:08:13,745 --> 00:08:15,038 Hi. I'm so sorry, 206 00:08:15,121 --> 00:08:17,040 I know you said it's a really long wait, 207 00:08:17,123 --> 00:08:19,292 but are you sure there isn't a table? 208 00:08:19,376 --> 00:08:20,627 I'm sorry, you'll... 209 00:08:20,710 --> 00:08:22,420 (CLEARS THROAT) You know what? 210 00:08:23,296 --> 00:08:24,339 Follow me. 211 00:08:24,422 --> 00:08:25,882 Great. 212 00:08:25,966 --> 00:08:28,260 How's that for an upside, huh? 213 00:08:28,343 --> 00:08:30,136 (CACKLES) 214 00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:32,264 Sor-Sorry about that. 215 00:08:32,347 --> 00:08:34,474 Yeah. Yup. 216 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,853 Once they're in the cocoon, it's like a primordial soup, you know? 217 00:08:38,937 --> 00:08:41,523 Because their mouth becomes the butt, the butt becomes the mouth, 218 00:08:41,606 --> 00:08:44,109 it's a mess. It's very un... 219 00:08:47,237 --> 00:08:48,738 You've got to be kidding me. 220 00:08:48,822 --> 00:08:50,699 What? What's wrong? 221 00:08:50,782 --> 00:08:53,118 Some guys got no respect, you know? 222 00:08:53,201 --> 00:08:56,246 They come in here dressed like that, it really bugs me. 223 00:08:56,329 --> 00:08:57,872 But you don't even know them. 224 00:08:57,956 --> 00:09:00,584 I don't have to know 'em, Ben. I hate 'em on principle. 225 00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:01,918 Why? 226 00:09:02,002 --> 00:09:04,254 Because they're different than us. 227 00:09:04,337 --> 00:09:05,505 What if they're nice? 228 00:09:05,589 --> 00:09:06,840 Well, if they were nice, 229 00:09:06,923 --> 00:09:09,634 they wouldn't have come into your house and crapped in your cereal. 230 00:09:09,718 --> 00:09:12,512 You know, this is a good opportunity to teach you a lesson. 231 00:09:12,596 --> 00:09:14,097 You hungry? You like nachos? 232 00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:15,265 Yeah. 233 00:09:15,932 --> 00:09:17,309 Yeah, good. Me, too. 234 00:09:17,392 --> 00:09:19,144 Here's what I want you to do. 235 00:09:19,227 --> 00:09:21,605 I want you to pour your soda on this clown's head. 236 00:09:22,522 --> 00:09:23,857 But he didn't do anything. 237 00:09:23,940 --> 00:09:26,943 Oh, Ben. Don't be so naive. 238 00:09:27,027 --> 00:09:28,653 Go ahead, it's fine. 239 00:09:31,615 --> 00:09:33,450 Hey, buddy, look at me, look at me. 240 00:09:33,533 --> 00:09:35,368 I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you. 241 00:09:35,452 --> 00:09:37,329 Okay? I promise. 242 00:09:37,412 --> 00:09:38,455 Now make it rain. 243 00:09:42,751 --> 00:09:43,752 Hey! 244 00:09:44,419 --> 00:09:45,712 What's your problem, kid? 245 00:09:45,795 --> 00:09:47,923 What's your problem, pal? You want to pick on somebody 246 00:09:48,006 --> 00:09:49,549 -your own size? -FAN: Oh! 247 00:09:49,633 --> 00:09:50,759 (HOOTING, JEERING) 248 00:09:50,842 --> 00:09:52,552 Hey. What's going on here? 249 00:09:52,636 --> 00:09:54,679 These guys are upset 'cause their team's getting spanked 250 00:09:54,763 --> 00:09:56,389 and now he's a little sticky. 251 00:09:56,473 --> 00:09:57,474 This guy's full of crap. 252 00:09:57,557 --> 00:09:59,768 Hey, all right. It's time to go, gentlemen. 253 00:09:59,851 --> 00:10:01,102 -Oh! -What? 254 00:10:01,186 --> 00:10:02,312 See you later. 255 00:10:02,395 --> 00:10:03,688 -Let's go. -Yeah, enjoy your train 256 00:10:03,772 --> 00:10:04,856 -back to nowhere. -Come on, man. 257 00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:06,149 -Let's go. -Choo, choo! 258 00:10:06,233 --> 00:10:07,525 -Let's go. -Choo, choo! 259 00:10:07,609 --> 00:10:08,735 In the back, boys. 260 00:10:08,818 --> 00:10:10,779 Enjoy your cheese with your whine. 261 00:10:10,862 --> 00:10:12,113 -(WHOOPING) -(YELLS INDISTINCTLY) 262 00:10:12,197 --> 00:10:13,698 Yeah! 263 00:10:13,782 --> 00:10:15,367 That is what I am talking about. 264 00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:16,785 And that, my friend... 265 00:10:18,245 --> 00:10:19,579 is the nacho special. 266 00:10:19,663 --> 00:10:21,831 There you go. Don't eat the peanut shells. 267 00:10:22,666 --> 00:10:24,167 Hey, why'd they get kicked out? 268 00:10:24,251 --> 00:10:25,919 The opposing fan always gets kicked out. 269 00:10:26,002 --> 00:10:27,754 That's the rule. Otherwise people would just be 270 00:10:27,837 --> 00:10:29,422 hammering 'em the whole game. 271 00:10:29,506 --> 00:10:32,509 Now that the cancer is gone, we can enjoy ourselves. 272 00:10:33,593 --> 00:10:35,470 They had cancer? 273 00:10:37,389 --> 00:10:38,765 No. 274 00:10:38,848 --> 00:10:40,767 No, no, I hope not. 275 00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:42,602 Geez. 276 00:10:42,686 --> 00:10:45,397 If that were the case, I'd feel really terrible. 277 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:46,731 Peanuts. 278 00:10:51,069 --> 00:10:52,529 This is more like it. 279 00:10:52,612 --> 00:10:55,156 Hello, I'm Brian. I'll be your in-suite concierge today. 280 00:10:55,282 --> 00:10:56,658 Will anyone else be joining us? 281 00:10:56,741 --> 00:10:58,618 Not today, Brian. Just me. 282 00:10:58,702 --> 00:11:00,453 Wonderful. Well, make yourself at home. 283 00:11:00,537 --> 00:11:03,665 We've got food over here, everything from hot dogs to sushi. 284 00:11:03,748 --> 00:11:06,501 Fridge is fully stocked. TVs can be tuned to any channel you'd like. 285 00:11:06,585 --> 00:11:08,753 And, of course, view's not too bad. 286 00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:12,257 -Can I start you with something to drink? -I could do a water. 287 00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:15,302 -Still or sparkling? -Let's go with bubbles. 288 00:11:15,385 --> 00:11:16,469 Coming right up. 289 00:11:16,553 --> 00:11:18,638 (INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER P.A.) 290 00:11:19,139 --> 00:11:20,432 Ah. 291 00:11:20,515 --> 00:11:23,184 Row QQ. (SNORTS) 292 00:11:24,352 --> 00:11:26,187 Ladies, here's the check, whenever you're ready. 293 00:11:26,271 --> 00:11:27,272 Mmm. 294 00:11:27,355 --> 00:11:28,815 And this is from the gentleman at the bar. 295 00:11:29,858 --> 00:11:32,277 Oh, how nice. 296 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,613 That means nothing. It happens to me all the time. 297 00:11:34,738 --> 00:11:36,531 Really? When was the last time it happened to you? 298 00:11:36,615 --> 00:11:38,491 Literally every single day of my life. 299 00:11:38,575 --> 00:11:40,285 Now let's roll. I want to be down at the docks 300 00:11:40,368 --> 00:11:42,078 when the fishing boats come in. 301 00:11:42,162 --> 00:11:44,706 See what those guys think of your new look. 302 00:11:44,789 --> 00:11:47,250 Uh, ugh. Okay, here we go. 303 00:11:47,334 --> 00:11:50,003 -What's this? -That's the check. That's for you. 304 00:11:50,086 --> 00:11:52,881 What do you mean? I left my credit card for the boob deposit. 305 00:11:52,964 --> 00:11:55,508 -Well, I don't have any money. -How do you not have any money? 306 00:11:55,592 --> 00:11:58,094 I don't know, Sabrina, I guess the Dow had a bad day. 307 00:11:58,178 --> 00:12:00,472 You literally said, "Let me take you to brunch." 308 00:12:00,555 --> 00:12:01,681 I did. I brought you here. 309 00:12:01,765 --> 00:12:03,725 I didn't realize I was gonna have to pay for it also. 310 00:12:03,808 --> 00:12:04,976 I'm not the one who had 11 Bellinis! 311 00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:07,812 I didn't realize they were gonna be so teeny-tiny and delicious. 312 00:12:07,896 --> 00:12:09,314 Well, what the hell are we gonna do? 313 00:12:09,397 --> 00:12:11,107 Just relax, okay? We'll just sneak out of here 314 00:12:11,191 --> 00:12:12,692 without paying. I do it all the time. 315 00:12:12,776 --> 00:12:14,444 You do it all the time? 316 00:12:14,527 --> 00:12:17,489 Here's how it's gonna go down. You're gonna go to the bathroom. 317 00:12:17,572 --> 00:12:19,032 I'm gonna count to ten Mississippi. 318 00:12:19,115 --> 00:12:21,534 And then I'm just gonna slip out of here, unnoticed, 319 00:12:21,618 --> 00:12:23,912 like a fart in a Jacuzzi. You got me? 320 00:12:23,995 --> 00:12:26,331 -Good luck with that. -Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 321 00:12:26,414 --> 00:12:27,749 Give me the boobs. 322 00:12:27,832 --> 00:12:29,584 What? Why? 323 00:12:30,961 --> 00:12:33,547 Because I feel more confident with them, all right? 324 00:12:34,798 --> 00:12:36,091 -Shut up and give 'em to me. -Told you. 325 00:12:36,174 --> 00:12:37,342 Shut up. 326 00:12:39,094 --> 00:12:40,845 You love 'em. 327 00:12:42,013 --> 00:12:44,266 (WHISPERING) God, I hate you so much... 328 00:12:45,225 --> 00:12:47,143 Let's go, ladies, you and me. 329 00:12:52,232 --> 00:12:53,942 Um, excuse me, miss. 330 00:12:54,025 --> 00:12:56,653 Oh, yeah. Um, here's the thing... 331 00:12:57,487 --> 00:12:59,072 (PEOPLE GROANING) 332 00:13:01,658 --> 00:13:04,661 Did you see that? 'Cause you must be wondering... 333 00:13:07,831 --> 00:13:09,916 -Hey, hey, hey, hey! -(SCREAMS) 334 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,793 -(GROANS) -You all right? 335 00:13:11,877 --> 00:13:14,254 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 336 00:13:19,759 --> 00:13:20,886 Mickey? 337 00:13:20,969 --> 00:13:23,763 Huh? Oh. (PANTING) 338 00:13:23,847 --> 00:13:26,683 -What the hell happened to you? -Nothing. It was perfect. 339 00:13:27,767 --> 00:13:28,810 Where's the boob? 340 00:13:28,894 --> 00:13:29,978 -What? -The boob. 341 00:13:30,061 --> 00:13:31,146 -You're missing a boob. -Oh. 342 00:13:31,938 --> 00:13:33,189 Oh... 343 00:13:34,482 --> 00:13:35,817 That's not good. 344 00:13:38,111 --> 00:13:41,406 ...crazy. She must have been on, like, PCP or, like, bath salts 345 00:13:41,489 --> 00:13:43,366 or, you know, one of those, like, superhuman drugs. 346 00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:45,827 And she had these huge, crazy, fake boobs. 347 00:13:46,703 --> 00:13:49,247 -What the hell did you do in there? -Tough to say. 348 00:13:49,331 --> 00:13:50,999 It all happened pretty fast. 349 00:13:51,082 --> 00:13:52,542 I can tell you it was loud. 350 00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:56,421 Well, go in there, turn yourself in and get our boob back. 351 00:13:56,504 --> 00:13:58,215 (CHUCKLES) No. 352 00:13:59,132 --> 00:14:00,217 Are you serious? 353 00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:03,345 You will spend one night in jail. That boob costs five grand. 354 00:14:03,428 --> 00:14:05,680 -Do the math. -Yeah. That plan sucks. 355 00:14:05,764 --> 00:14:07,515 -I'm calling Alba. -What? Why? 356 00:14:07,641 --> 00:14:10,810 Because she's reliable and she's down for anything. Watch this. 357 00:14:10,894 --> 00:14:12,437 -(LINE RINGS) -ALBA: What do you need? 358 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:15,607 Alba. I need your help getting a breast implant from a crime scene. 359 00:14:15,690 --> 00:14:17,067 Drop a pin. I'm on my way. 360 00:14:17,150 --> 00:14:18,443 Boom. 361 00:14:19,903 --> 00:14:21,446 I got to tell you, Brian. 362 00:14:21,529 --> 00:14:23,406 I was pretty skeptical coming in, 363 00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:27,494 but now I am totally sold on the whole live sports experience. 364 00:14:27,577 --> 00:14:30,997 Thanks for spending it with us, Chip. It was a pleasure serving you. 365 00:14:31,081 --> 00:14:32,207 You're welcome. 366 00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:34,417 -Can I help you with a ride home? -You guys do that? 367 00:14:34,501 --> 00:14:36,253 I'll call a car service. 368 00:14:37,504 --> 00:14:39,047 I frickin' love sports. 369 00:14:39,756 --> 00:14:41,091 All right, huh? 370 00:14:41,174 --> 00:14:42,884 Thank you for your service. 371 00:14:42,968 --> 00:14:44,970 Never check you on the way out. 372 00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:48,473 -(WHOOPS) -(PHONE BUZZES) 373 00:14:48,557 --> 00:14:49,975 Whoa. 374 00:14:50,058 --> 00:14:51,977 Ah. Chip got a ride home. 375 00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:54,062 There's hope for him yet. 376 00:14:55,981 --> 00:14:57,983 What's up, guy? Remember us? 377 00:14:58,066 --> 00:15:00,902 Oh, right. Hey, fellas. You missed a good one. 378 00:15:00,986 --> 00:15:02,696 In case you couldn't tell by the cheers, 379 00:15:02,779 --> 00:15:06,032 Tom Brady jammed his size 12 Australian slipper boot 380 00:15:06,116 --> 00:15:07,951 right up your cheesy cornholes. 381 00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:10,036 You got a big mouth. You're lucky you're with your son 382 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,955 or we'd roll on your ass right here. 383 00:15:12,038 --> 00:15:13,206 Yeah. Hey, Ben. 384 00:15:13,290 --> 00:15:16,042 Don't worry about this, all right? I got it. 385 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,336 Pay attention. 386 00:15:20,505 --> 00:15:22,132 He's not my son. 387 00:15:23,383 --> 00:15:26,052 (GRUNTING) 388 00:15:26,636 --> 00:15:28,430 Ben, this is all part of it. 389 00:15:28,513 --> 00:15:30,891 It's all right, Ben. I'm in control. (GRUNTS) 390 00:15:30,974 --> 00:15:33,101 (GRUNTING AND GROANING) 391 00:15:34,227 --> 00:15:35,645 Why aren't we moving? 392 00:15:35,729 --> 00:15:38,732 Sorry, sir. There's people fighting in the road. 393 00:15:39,649 --> 00:15:40,859 Animals. 394 00:15:42,319 --> 00:15:43,737 (HORN HONKING) 395 00:15:43,820 --> 00:15:45,322 (GRUNTING) 396 00:15:50,243 --> 00:15:51,578 (MICKEY SIGHS) 397 00:15:51,661 --> 00:15:53,163 (ALBA LAUGHING) 398 00:15:53,997 --> 00:15:55,999 You're a good man, Johnny. 399 00:15:56,082 --> 00:15:58,084 You go back to school for you. 400 00:15:58,835 --> 00:16:00,378 (WHOOPS) 401 00:16:01,463 --> 00:16:02,464 Hey! 402 00:16:03,131 --> 00:16:05,008 Alba. Are you drunk? 403 00:16:05,091 --> 00:16:06,134 No. 404 00:16:07,052 --> 00:16:09,095 I'm doing mushrooms. 405 00:16:09,179 --> 00:16:11,681 (LAUGHING) 406 00:16:14,142 --> 00:16:16,645 (LAUGHING AND WHEEZING) 407 00:16:20,857 --> 00:16:22,192 Uh, all right. Alba. 408 00:16:22,275 --> 00:16:24,069 (LAUGHING) 409 00:16:25,820 --> 00:16:28,156 -(SNORTS) -Hey, Alba. 410 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,951 -And you're drunk. -What? N... Oh... 411 00:16:31,034 --> 00:16:33,703 That's right. I forgot. Girls' day! 412 00:16:33,787 --> 00:16:36,122 -This is reliable? -I wasn't planning on this. 413 00:16:36,206 --> 00:16:37,582 Alba, where did you get mushrooms? 414 00:16:37,666 --> 00:16:41,461 Shh. Let's not get off track. Catch me up to speed. 415 00:16:41,545 --> 00:16:44,548 We were having brunch in that restaurant. And we were doing a boob thing. 416 00:16:44,631 --> 00:16:47,592 Did I hear you say brunch? You're having brunch without me? 417 00:16:47,676 --> 00:16:50,512 -No, but it wasn't like that. -No? What's it like, then? 418 00:16:50,595 --> 00:16:53,390 -We were doing a social experiment... -You guys, pull it together, okay? 419 00:16:53,473 --> 00:16:55,225 Alba, are you gonna help us or not? 420 00:16:56,226 --> 00:16:57,852 Fine. 421 00:16:57,936 --> 00:17:00,939 But we are gonna double back to this brunch business later. 422 00:17:01,022 --> 00:17:03,525 -Understood. -Where is it? 423 00:17:03,608 --> 00:17:05,860 Unclear. It kind of pinballed all over the place in there. 424 00:17:05,944 --> 00:17:08,154 Why don't you just head on in and I'll walk you through it, okay? 425 00:17:08,238 --> 00:17:12,033 One boobie coming up, okay? 426 00:17:12,117 --> 00:17:15,370 Awe...some. 427 00:17:15,453 --> 00:17:17,038 Oh, yeah! 428 00:17:17,122 --> 00:17:20,875 It's okay, it's finished. (LAUGHS) 429 00:17:22,878 --> 00:17:24,838 Alba's really going for it lately, huh? 430 00:17:24,921 --> 00:17:26,172 Oh, yeah. She's nuts. 431 00:17:26,256 --> 00:17:29,134 I was encouraging it for a while, but she's steering the ship now. 432 00:17:35,432 --> 00:17:37,434 (PHONE RINGS) 433 00:17:40,478 --> 00:17:42,480 -Hello. -MICKEY: Okay, let's do this. 434 00:17:42,564 --> 00:17:44,149 Yeah. Who is this? 435 00:17:44,858 --> 00:17:46,234 It's Mickey. 436 00:17:46,318 --> 00:17:47,986 (LAUGHING) Mickey. 437 00:17:48,069 --> 00:17:50,155 Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where am I going? 438 00:17:50,238 --> 00:17:52,073 Okay. First you're gonna have to get past that host. 439 00:17:52,157 --> 00:17:53,575 Hi. Can I help you? 440 00:17:53,658 --> 00:17:54,659 I doubt it. 441 00:17:54,743 --> 00:17:55,744 Okay, I'm in. 442 00:17:55,827 --> 00:17:57,913 Wow. That was awesome. Okay, turn right. 443 00:17:57,996 --> 00:18:00,582 Start heading towards the bar. We were at a little table in the middle. 444 00:18:00,665 --> 00:18:04,211 Oh. That must have been so nice for you. 445 00:18:04,294 --> 00:18:06,046 Have some drinks, a little of... 446 00:18:06,129 --> 00:18:09,216 Alba. Focus, okay? Do you see the black guy with the red hat? 447 00:18:09,925 --> 00:18:12,385 Black guy with red hair? 448 00:18:12,469 --> 00:18:16,640 (LAUGHING) Oh, no. I never seen anything like that ever. 449 00:18:16,723 --> 00:18:19,100 Not black guy with red hair, black guy with red hat. 450 00:18:19,184 --> 00:18:23,063 Oh. Black guy, red hat. 451 00:18:23,146 --> 00:18:24,481 (ALBA LAUGHS) 452 00:18:24,564 --> 00:18:26,900 (LAUGHING AND WHEEZING) 453 00:18:26,983 --> 00:18:28,860 Yeah. I see him. I see him. 454 00:18:28,944 --> 00:18:31,821 Okay, but keep your voice down. Can he hear you? 455 00:18:32,239 --> 00:18:34,282 Yeah. He's looking right at me. 456 00:18:34,366 --> 00:18:35,867 What do you want me to say to him? 457 00:18:35,951 --> 00:18:38,078 I don't want you to say anything to him. 458 00:18:38,161 --> 00:18:40,372 Just shut up and listen to the instructions, okay? 459 00:18:40,455 --> 00:18:41,581 I-I'm gonna kill her. 460 00:18:43,959 --> 00:18:45,293 Oh, oh. 461 00:18:45,377 --> 00:18:46,503 I got eyes on it. 462 00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:48,338 Where? You do? 463 00:18:49,297 --> 00:18:50,924 Uh-oh, uh-oh. 464 00:18:51,007 --> 00:18:53,218 Boobie on the move. Coming right your way. 465 00:18:53,301 --> 00:18:54,886 Wh-Where? I don't see it. 466 00:18:54,970 --> 00:18:56,471 Uh, white baby, blonde hair. 467 00:18:56,555 --> 00:18:57,681 You don't have to say "white baby," just say "baby." 468 00:18:57,764 --> 00:18:59,516 I see him. I got it. Okay. 469 00:18:59,599 --> 00:19:01,226 God. 470 00:19:03,353 --> 00:19:04,729 Excuse me, excuse me. 471 00:19:04,813 --> 00:19:06,273 Ma'am. Hi there. Uh, I think your baby 472 00:19:06,356 --> 00:19:08,650 stole something of mine off the restaurant floor. 473 00:19:08,733 --> 00:19:09,943 SABRINA: Yeah. 474 00:19:10,026 --> 00:19:13,029 Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry. He's such a little thief. 475 00:19:13,154 --> 00:19:14,948 -(LAUGHING) -That's okay. He's so adorable. 476 00:19:15,031 --> 00:19:16,449 -Isn't he, though? -Yeah. He's so cute. 477 00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:19,536 -Oh, I hope you don't mind a little drool. -Not at all. 478 00:19:19,619 --> 00:19:21,162 What is this, anyway? 479 00:19:21,246 --> 00:19:24,124 Oh, nice. You found your breast implant. Good for you. 480 00:19:24,833 --> 00:19:25,917 Oh, gross! 481 00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:27,377 -No. No, no! -Wait! 482 00:19:28,169 --> 00:19:29,546 -No! -No! Oh, come on. 483 00:19:33,717 --> 00:19:35,135 BEN: Why are you crying? 484 00:19:35,218 --> 00:19:37,345 (SIGHS) 485 00:19:37,429 --> 00:19:39,806 'Cause men cry, too, Ben. 486 00:19:41,266 --> 00:19:43,059 Men cry, too. 487 00:19:45,020 --> 00:19:46,646 Thanks for driving, by the way. 488 00:19:46,730 --> 00:19:48,023 You're welcome. 489 00:19:49,107 --> 00:19:50,984 You're a real natural, huh? 490 00:19:51,067 --> 00:19:53,445 Don't be afraid to use that horn. 491 00:19:55,322 --> 00:19:56,698 (HORN HONKS) 492 00:19:56,781 --> 00:19:59,534 (LAUGHS) Yeah. Let 'em know you're coming. 493 00:19:59,993 --> 00:20:02,203 Oh, come on. Make the light, make the light. 494 00:20:02,287 --> 00:20:03,788 (ENGINE REVS, CAR HORNS HONK) 495 00:20:06,875 --> 00:20:08,209 What happened to it? 496 00:20:08,293 --> 00:20:11,171 Well, I don't know. You tell me, Doc. 497 00:20:11,254 --> 00:20:13,048 The damn thing just exploded. 498 00:20:13,131 --> 00:20:14,549 Yeah. We're lucky that grenade wasn't inside me. 499 00:20:14,633 --> 00:20:15,967 -I mean... -Yeah. 500 00:20:16,051 --> 00:20:17,385 -It could have been really bad. -Oh. 501 00:20:17,469 --> 00:20:19,554 Obviously, we'll have to charge you for this. 502 00:20:20,347 --> 00:20:22,682 Look, I'm gonna pass on the surgery. Just take it out of that. 503 00:20:22,766 --> 00:20:23,808 You are? 504 00:20:23,892 --> 00:20:26,603 Yeah. I don't want the memory of today physically attached to my body. 505 00:20:27,187 --> 00:20:28,605 I'll hold off for now. 506 00:20:28,688 --> 00:20:29,814 Okay. 507 00:20:29,898 --> 00:20:31,399 So my plan worked. 508 00:20:32,234 --> 00:20:33,401 No. It did not. 509 00:20:33,485 --> 00:20:34,819 Well, obviously it did. You heard her, Goodby. 510 00:20:34,903 --> 00:20:37,572 She's not getting the surgery. You can give us the rest of the cash. 511 00:20:37,656 --> 00:20:40,909 This is a doctor's office. We don't do refunds. 512 00:20:45,413 --> 00:20:46,581 Mmm. 513 00:20:49,584 --> 00:20:51,419 I don't know. Did you get a haircut? 514 00:20:51,503 --> 00:20:53,296 No, no. Look harder. 515 00:20:53,380 --> 00:20:54,631 Color contacts? 516 00:20:54,714 --> 00:20:56,007 No, come on. Guys. 517 00:20:56,091 --> 00:20:57,551 I got my knees done. 518 00:20:58,385 --> 00:20:59,427 That's a thing? 519 00:20:59,511 --> 00:21:01,846 Yeah. I guess it's a super common procedure. 520 00:21:01,930 --> 00:21:04,015 Ay. What was wrong with your old knees? 521 00:21:04,099 --> 00:21:06,017 Those knees were trash, these ones are awesome. 522 00:21:06,101 --> 00:21:07,811 -I can't even tell the difference. -Mmm. 523 00:21:07,894 --> 00:21:10,063 Well, that's a testament to Dr. Goodby, isn't it? 524 00:21:10,146 --> 00:21:11,565 Woman is amazing. 525 00:21:11,648 --> 00:21:15,277 Hey. Whoa. How was the game? 526 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,653 -I fell down the stairs. -Fun. 527 00:21:16,736 --> 00:21:18,238 Mmm-hmm. Yeah, I can see that. 528 00:21:18,321 --> 00:21:20,240 Yeah. I botched the first one and then just kind of... 529 00:21:20,323 --> 00:21:21,825 -Oh, yeah. -...rode it out. 530 00:21:21,908 --> 00:21:23,285 Sure. You have to at that point. 531 00:21:23,994 --> 00:21:25,078 Wow. 532 00:21:25,161 --> 00:21:26,871 You look great. 533 00:21:27,539 --> 00:21:29,291 Did you do something to your knees? 534 00:21:35,505 --> 00:21:37,048 ALBA: I'm doing mushrooms.