1
00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:03,071
She's inappropriate,
but in charge.

2
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:05,206
-She's The Mick.
-Can I have some more ice cream?

3
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:06,240
Oh! Aaah!

4
00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:07,741
Catch all-new episodes Tuesdays,

5
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:09,310
and check out
our other Fox programs--

6
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,080
New Girl, Son of Zorn
and Lethal Weapon.

7
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:13,847
-That's attractive.
-Why would they--

8
00:00:13,881 --> 00:00:15,749
Only on Fox.

9
00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:19,587
CLERK:
Price check, register three.

10
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:22,156
Price check,
register three, please.

11
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:24,892
*

12
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:27,428
* Yes, I'm a mutating French

13
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,729
* Kissing Andy

14
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:30,364
* Kissing Jack, kissing Johnny

15
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:31,999
* Kissing Mike

16
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,334
* Smacking chicks
and licking faces *

17
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:36,104
* Snugging ladies,
slapping boys, boys, boys *

18
00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:37,738
* Kissing Andy, kissing Jack

19
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,673
* Kissing Johnny, kissing Mike

20
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,775
Ah.
* Smacking chicks
and licking faces *

21
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:44,578
* Snugging ladies,
slapping boys, boys, boys *

22
00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:45,913
* Going hot

23
00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:49,550
* Tease your daddy,
driving wild, wild nuts... *

24
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,520
* Chorus

25
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,223
* So...

26
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:57,125
* Wha-uh-uh-oh

27
00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:58,192
(laughing)

28
00:00:58,226 --> 00:01:01,562
* Kill me, kill me.

29
00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:03,864
They're in this cocoon,

30
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,366
but they wake up and it's
like a primordial soup.

31
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:06,867
Soup, I know.
And their mouth
is the butt...

32
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:07,935
Please stop.
...and the butt's
the mouth, which is...

33
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:09,137
I know, I already know!

34
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:10,204
I just don't want
to hear it again, no offense.

35
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:12,039
I-- um, you're
driving me nuts.

36
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,207
I'm excited!

37
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:14,542
I've never been to
a mansion before!

38
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,709
Well, it's not a
social visit, all right?

39
00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,044
My sister sucks.

40
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,646
Hey, okay.
That's your sister.

41
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:20,214
Yeah, you despise
your sister.

42
00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:22,049
Yeah, well, 'cause my
sister's a locksmith.

43
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,584
She lives in a box.

44
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:25,119
Your sister's a
freakin' millionaire.

45
00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:26,554
Well, no, she married
a millionaire;

46
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,055
there's a big
difference.

47
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,424
(engine running rough)
Oh...

48
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:33,727
baby got a big old butt!
(laughs)

49
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:34,928
That's gasoline.

50
00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:35,963
What?

51
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:36,964
Oh, my God!
(spits)

52
00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:38,599
Why do you have gasoline?

53
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,067
Well, I'm not gonna
pay Greenwich prices.

54
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,802
So you keep it
in a juice jug?!

55
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,238
Yeah. You spit all over my dash.

56
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,239
What'd you want me
to do with it?

57
00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:46,240
I don't know,
deal with...

58
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:47,508
here we go.

59
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:48,642
Cop, cop, cop!
Put the gas away.
What happ--

60
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:49,677
Why?
I got this.

61
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:50,578
Why, why?
I got you,
I got you.

62
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,513
Howdy.

63
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:53,447
Everything okay here?

64
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,916
(restrained laughter)

65
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:56,984
Security.
Yeah.

66
00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:59,153
(laughing)
Yeah.

67
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,989
We're fine, not that
it's any of your concern.

68
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:03,824
You guys lost?
No.

69
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,359
My sister lives here.

70
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,028
Okay.

71
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:09,530
Stay out of trouble.

72
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,500
Will do, Officer.

73
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:14,001
(both laughing)

74
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,536
What the hell was that?

75
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,271
Well...
Guy treats us like
a bunch of lowlifes?

76
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:18,272
Yeah, welcome to Greenwich.

77
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:19,340
Yeah, I should have
spit on him.

78
00:02:19,373 --> 00:02:20,841
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Jimmy, where you going?

79
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,376
To the barbecue.

80
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:24,278
Oh, no.

81
00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:25,846
No, you're not coming in
with me.

82
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,381
Why not?

83
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:28,816
'Cause your embarrassing.
You embarrass me.

84
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:30,218
I'm embarrassed of you.
(laughs)

85
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:34,021
Then why the hell did
I just drive up here

86
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:34,855
from Rhode Island?

87
00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:36,390
So I can drink.

88
00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:37,958
Uh, just pop on the game.

89
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,194
No! I'm not gonna sit out
here like some goon and...

90
00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:41,362
ANNOUNCER: Ortiz checked in
with runners on the corners.

91
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:42,630
Whoa, uh, ninth, go, go.

92
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:43,831
Here comes the pitch.

93
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,032
Called strike one.
Everyone, shut up.

94
00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:48,035
(groaning):
Swing at crap!

95
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:50,571
*

96
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:52,306
(Mickey gasping)

97
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,874
(coughing)

98
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,845
Can I bum a smoke, please?

99
00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,179
(coughing)

100
00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:00,214
No.

101
00:03:00,248 --> 00:03:02,316
Well...

102
00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:04,318
okay, fine. I'll
kick you a dollar.

103
00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:06,320
It's okay,
I already have a dollar.

104
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:07,521
Thank you, though.

105
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:10,023
(laughs) Well, it's
just kind of customary

106
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,992
to help out a fellow
smoker in need.

107
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,061
I get the sense that you're
in need a lot.

108
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,596
What's your problem?

109
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,398
I don't have a problem.

110
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:18,866
You do.

111
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:21,168
Otherwise, we wouldn't
be having this conversation.

112
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,437
Sorry to bother you.
It's okay.

113
00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:24,505
Intercepted.

114
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:25,839
Are you serious?

115
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:26,907
Bitch!

116
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:27,941
Bitch.

117
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,343
(glass clinking)

118
00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,512
BOY: Relax, Mom.
It's only cider.

119
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,013
Hello, everyone.

120
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,348
I'm Chip Pemberton.

121
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:35,416
I live right up there.

122
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,184
In the spirit
of Labor Day,

123
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,687
let's give it up
to the real laborers,

124
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:40,854
the caterers,

125
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,623
the valet, and...
Hey, there.

126
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:44,892
Oh, my God.
Mackenzie.
What?

127
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,728
Hi. What are you, um,
wha-what are you doing here?

128
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,530
Well, you invited me.

129
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,366
But we invite you every year
and you never come.

130
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,201
Huh.
Mackenzie, wow.

131
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,636
(sighing):
Christopher.
(phone buzzing)

132
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,037
What has it been like,
eight, nine years?

133
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:57,905
Oh, I got to get this.

134
00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,407
Whoa.
No, I can't-- okay.

135
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,474
Uh, Liz, look.

136
00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:02,643
Um, this is my sister,
Mackenzie.

137
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:05,546
Oh, this is the sister.
Yes.

138
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,147
The sister?

139
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,616
What are you? You're the...

140
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,384
Neighbor.
The neighbor?

141
00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,385
Well, I'll let you two catch up.

142
00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:12,420
You don't...
Poodle, call me.

143
00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:13,487
Mm-hmm.
Good luck.

144
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:14,488
Okay.

145
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:15,923
Did she just call you Poodle?

146
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:16,757
It's cute, right?

147
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:17,891
Poodle, huh?
Yeah.

148
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:18,892
All right.

149
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,227
You look nice.
Thank you so much.

150
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,562
Yeah.

151
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,397
What'd you do to your-- you
did something to your face?

152
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:24,932
I did, yeah.
I upgraded a bit.

153
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:25,899
Uh-huh.
BEN:
Mommy?

154
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,801
I got a nosebleed.

155
00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:28,836
Oh, gross.

156
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:29,770
Get-get--
Alba, could you...?

157
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,439
ALBA:
Oh, yes, Ms. Poodle?

158
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:32,940
Oh, okay.
Estás bien.

159
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,476
Vámonos, Benito.
Gracias, Alba.

160
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,911
Ay, vamos a limpiar.

161
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,080
They have their own
little secret language.

162
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,749
So annoying.

163
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,917
And you should see Sabrina.
Oh, my-- oh, there she is.

164
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,253
Sabrina, look,
it's your Aunt Mackenzie.

165
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,256
(laughing)

166
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,424
Sabrina.

167
00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:53,293
Wow. Aunt Mackenzie.

168
00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:55,262
I haven't seen you
since you were young.

169
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,431
(laughs)
Sabrina's going
to Yale next year.

170
00:04:57,465 --> 00:04:59,433
I got into Yale; that
doesn't mean I'm going.

171
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:00,534
Well, you sh...
That's probably a good call.

172
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:01,935
Cute.

173
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,437
Remind me, what do
you do again?

174
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,839
You know how it goes.

175
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:08,542
Just kind of
in between things.

176
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:10,944
(chuckles)
I don't...

177
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,145
but good luck
with your things.

178
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:15,115
Thank you.
(giggles)

179
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:17,050
Isn't she amazing?
Oh, she is.

180
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:18,118
I am amazed.

181
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,119
So, listen,
Yeah?

182
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,287
Poodle.
(chuckles)

183
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,457
Um, I wanted to give
you an opportunity

184
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:24,992
to invest in my future.
There it is.

185
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,293
This is the Mickey
that I know.

186
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,461
What are you talking about?

187
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:28,729
I was half your age
when I settled down.

188
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,030
Settle down? You
got knocked up by

189
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,366
some rich guy when you
were working as a stripper.

190
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,635
(whispering): I was waitress
at a strip club.

191
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,170
You were a topless waitress.

192
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,305
Okay.
And that's even worse;

193
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,540
it just means you
couldn't dance.

194
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:42,142
Hey! I am a great dancer.

195
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:42,976
FBI!

196
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,479
*

197
00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:47,214
We have a warrant for
the arrest of Christopher

198
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,016
and Pamela Pemberton
for fraud.

199
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:50,918
...checks the runner at first.

200
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,119
(engine starts)

201
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,022
(woman gasping)

202
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,390
(grunts)
WOMAN:
Who was that?

203
00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:57,991
That ball is laced into the gap,

204
00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,593
it'll roll all the way...
(engine squealing)

205
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,563
(yells)

206
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:04,998
(tires screeching)

207
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,400
JIMMY:
What?!

208
00:06:15,142 --> 00:06:16,510
Watch the shoes.
Oh,

209
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:17,678
hey, wait, wait,
wait, wait, hang on.

210
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,346
That's my sister.
Poodle!
Hi.

211
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,748
What the hell?
Yeah, I don't know.

212
00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,683
Listen. I need you to
watch the kids tonight.

213
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,051
Your kids?
Yeah.

214
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:26,253
No, no, I-I'm a bad
choice for that job.

215
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:27,387
Oh, no, no. You just need to

216
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:28,756
get them to school
in the morning, okay?

217
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:29,957
Hey.
This whole thing is a
huge misunderstanding.

218
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:31,525
Have that neighbor lady,
the one with the hat?

219
00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:32,960
Absolutely not.
I'd never hear the end of it.

220
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,695
Uh, babysitter? Don't
you have a babysitter?

221
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,096
Ooh, I know! Get
one of those guys

222
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:37,297
outside the hardware
store to-to do it.

223
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:38,432
They'll do it.
Damn it, Mickey.

224
00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:39,700
My hands are kind of
tied right now.

225
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,802
Okay, watch the hair.

226
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,303
Listen, just act like their aunt

227
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,706
for one day and I'll get you
the money that you need, okay?

228
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:46,807
And don't ruin them!

229
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:50,878
*

230
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,279
Uh...

231
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,450
(exhales)

232
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,221
So...

233
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,591
your parents are safe

234
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,793
and they just wanted to see

235
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:08,061
if I could spend a little time
with you guys

236
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,262
while this whole thing
gets sorted.

237
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:10,631
(laughs)

238
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:13,233
It will get sorted, okay?

239
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,602
And when it does,

240
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:17,938
those FBI pigs will be
the ones rotting in jail.

241
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,073
Mommy and Daddy are in jail?

242
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,609
(stammering)

243
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,178
Don't worry, Ben.

244
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:27,948
The scales of justice tip
in favor of the wealthy.

245
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,517
If we throw enough money
at this thing,

246
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:30,851
I'm sure it will go away.

247
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:33,587
And then we'll sue
their asses for defamation,

248
00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:34,855
okay?
Okay.

249
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:36,857
Okay.

250
00:07:36,890 --> 00:07:40,694
So, I have an idea. Ooh!

251
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,129
Why don't we all
just hunker down

252
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,463
and play poker
all night long,

253
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,132
until this whole
thing blows over?

254
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:48,468
(scoffs) That's not
gonna work for me.

255
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:49,603
Yeah, I'm gonna go
to this fund-raiser

256
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:50,604
for Planned Parenthood.

257
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,506
Probably crash
at my friend's place,

258
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,007
go to the city tomorrow.

259
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,609
So just don't expect
to see me too much.

260
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:58,278
You know, we probably won't
see each other at all.
Hmm.

261
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,279
But hey,

262
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,548
let's catch up again
in ten years

263
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:01,782
when you need another loan.

264
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,851
Listen, Sabrina,
I got a lot riding on this gig,

265
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,686
so can you do me a favor
and not be a big,

266
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,320
giant, pain in the ass, please?

267
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:08,889
Maybe you don't know this,
but Planned Parenthood

268
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,191
provides health care
to over three million women

269
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,459
in this country.

270
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,962
Oh, sweetie, I know all
about Planned Parenthood.

271
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,064
I should have one of those punch
cards that gets you a free sub

272
00:08:17,097 --> 00:08:18,632
every ten visits.

273
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:20,067
Gross.

274
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,202
No, I just meant...

275
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:25,038
I-I never got, like... uh...

276
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:27,340
I just had a bunch of bacterial
infect-- you know what?

277
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:28,542
Ew.
The point is,

278
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:29,810
you want to make a difference?

279
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,411
Go out on the front line, right?

280
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:32,746
Chain yourself to a redwood,

281
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:33,747
light yourself on fire.

282
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:35,315
Just not tonight, understood?

283
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,518
I'm sorry,
were you saying something?

284
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:41,188
I was distracted by how
uneven your eyebrows are.

285
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,223
*

286
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:50,430
My Uber's here, so I'm out.

287
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:51,765
I'll be home whenever.

288
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:54,001
Cool.

289
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,502
What are you drinking?

290
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,671
Oh, just some absinthe.

291
00:08:57,705 --> 00:08:58,839
Want to take a ride?

292
00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,940
Seriously?

293
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,509
You're not driving.

294
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:03,911
(cork squeaks off bottle,
Sabrina sighs)

295
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,045
Sure, what the hell?

296
00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,882
(sets bottle on table)
Okay.

297
00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:12,886
(groans)

298
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,021
(shudders)

299
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,255
Yes!
(coughs)

300
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,690
Listen.

301
00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:18,859
(clears throat) I feel like
we got off on the wrong foot,

302
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,228
and I know that you're going
through a lot right now,

303
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,430
um, with your parents and...

304
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:24,898
Oh, I don't care about that.

305
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,634
Oh.

306
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,969
Okay, well, whether you do
or you don't...

307
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,771
I don't.

308
00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:33,240
All right, well, the point is,

309
00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:35,408
I'm your aunt and I want
to be the cool aunt.

310
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:37,410
I want you to come to me
with boy problems.

311
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:39,246
Or girl problems.
I don't assume.

312
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:40,614
What do you say?

313
00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:41,715
Can we start over?

314
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:42,950
Please?

315
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,985
Yeah, okay.
Why not?

316
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,056
(grunts)

317
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,157
Mm-hmm.

318
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:52,225
Um... I just, like,

319
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,327
I'm really happy that we're
talking, and, I don't know,

320
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,063
I just feel like...
there is something

321
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,130
that I wanted to say to you.

322
00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,832
Yes, anything, please.

323
00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,901
(clears throat)

324
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,236
I know you think
you're pretty clever

325
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,673
with this little plan
to drink me under the table.

326
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:08,008
But you see,
there are two problems.

327
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,043
You're not.

328
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,347
And you can't.

329
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:19,953
Peace out, Mackenzie.

330
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,390
(grunts)

331
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,660
Uh-oh.

332
00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,095
Something the matter?

333
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,764
No, I'm good, I just felt
kind of funny for a second.

334
00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:32,132
Oh, man.

335
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,533
Funny how?

336
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:35,135
Funny like you just drank
six different types

337
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,838
of sleep medication funny?

338
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,307
(chuckles)

339
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:41,608
What?

340
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,376
You got straight played, homie.

341
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:44,712
No, but you took it, too.

342
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:46,847
I...
I don't want you
to worry about me.

343
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,149
I can handle my 'Quil.

344
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:50,951
(stammering)
Why'd you do that?

345
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,519
(stammers mockingly)

346
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,454
Because I own you.

347
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,556
What?
Night-night, princess.

348
00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,391
Let's get you into your jams.

349
00:10:58,425 --> 00:10:59,827
No.
Come on, I got you.

350
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,161
No, wait! Wait.
Come on.

351
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,663
Hold on.
(straining):
Upsy-daisy.

352
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,966
(birds chirping)

353
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:06,967
(gasps)

354
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,468
Keys. Alba.

355
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,070
I need some car keys,
the kids are late.

356
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,638
Oh, the kids go
to school already.

357
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,206
Ms. Poodle likes
to sleep in, too,

358
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,008
so I took care of it.

359
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,176
Oh.

360
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,310
That was easy.

361
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,511
You want me
to make you breakfast?

362
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:19,880
Well, I mean,

363
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,248
I don't want you to not
make me breakfast.

364
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,515
(both chuckle)

365
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:23,650
All right,

366
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:24,818
so what's the deal
with that pool?

367
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:26,019
Is it heated?

368
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:27,020
Oh, I don't know.

369
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,655
I never tried.

370
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,190
(mouth full): You're telling me
you're here every single day

371
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,491
busting your hump,

372
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,526
these entitled monkeys
don't even let you get wet?

373
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:34,895
Oh, I cannot swim.

374
00:11:34,928 --> 00:11:35,929
That's not the point.

375
00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:37,330
The pool's a metaphor.

376
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,565
No, you're getting boxed out,

377
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:39,666
and I don't like that.
Oh.

378
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,934
I'll tell you what,

379
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:43,170
as long as I'm here,
you and me, we're equals.

380
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,171
Yeah?

381
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,839
Oh, yeah, in fact...

382
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,674
pull up a chair,
we're eating breakfast together.

383
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,876
Really?
Mm-hmm.

384
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:50,043
(laughs)
Okay.

385
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:51,745
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, wait, wait, wait.

386
00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:53,280
I mean...

387
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:54,915
you got to cook the food first.

388
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,683
Oh.
But after that,

389
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,085
equals.

390
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:01,454
*

391
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,058
Oh.
(groaning)

392
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,559
* I'm having a ball

393
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,561
Yeah, that one'll be fun.
Okay.

394
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:09,562
Here come the shoes.

395
00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:10,397
Come closer, I can't reach it.

396
00:12:10,430 --> 00:12:11,231
Trust me.

397
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,432
No!
Come on!

398
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:15,302
* I'm loving it all
No!

399
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,303
Oh, man.

400
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:17,871
You are a bummer.

401
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,873
Yep.

402
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,642
* I'm having a ball

403
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,878
Oh!
* I'm running the show

404
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:27,380
Catch it!
Oh, what?
I don't want it.

405
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,581
* How I got stuck
All right.

406
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:30,250
* With so much love

407
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:31,718
* I'll never know
(yelling)

408
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:32,886
(humming)

409
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,755
* Each day I wake up

410
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,891
* And greet

411
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,928
* The world at my feet

412
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:42,162
* I'm riding high
Whoa!

413
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,163
(yells, then grunts)

414
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,364
* I'm having a ball.

415
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,738
What's the matter with her?

416
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,573
I think she's dead.

417
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,608
She's not dead,
I can see her breathing.

418
00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:57,277
(Mickey gasping loudly,
kids yell)

419
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:04,852
Oh, hey.

420
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:07,120
You guys are home.

421
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:10,824
Cool.

422
00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,259
What's everybody
thinking for dinner?

423
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,295
We just ate breakfast.

424
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,430
You were like this when we came
home from school yesterday.

425
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:20,100
Huh?

426
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,035
Well, where's Alba?

427
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,304
Help!

428
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,306
Somebody!

429
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:27,374
Oh.

430
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,176
All right, well, uh...

431
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:32,012
good morning.

432
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,813
What's that crap on your head?

433
00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,548
An owl, it's our mascot.

434
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,885
We're unveiling a live
one today at assembly.

435
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:38,952
It's gonna be awesome.

436
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,487
It's not gonna be awesome,
it's sick.

437
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:41,989
He's gonna be trapped in a cage

438
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,356
while a bunch of morons poke him

439
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:44,624
and feed him gummy bears.

440
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,326
Ugh!
Change the record.

441
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,295
This song sucks.

442
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,997
How would you feel if someone
ripped you off your barstool

443
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,064
and threw you in a cage?

444
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:52,799
I cannot count
the number of times

445
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,068
I've been ripped off a barstool
and thrown in a cage.

446
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:56,669
Cool story.

447
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:57,837
We're gonna head out, okay?

448
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,306
Give my regards to the groom.

449
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,841
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
How about I drive you guys?

450
00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,643
Should probably
get out of the house.

451
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,678
Yesterday kind of
got away from me.

452
00:14:05,712 --> 00:14:07,981
(gears grinding)
MICKEY:
Get in there, you bastard.

453
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:10,150
Let's do it. Ugh!
(engine stops)

454
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,152
There.
Here we are.

455
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,753
Bye, Sabrina.

456
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:15,322
Have a great day, I love you.

457
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,357
Auntie loves you all day long.

458
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,192
Morning, Chip.
Hey, Steffi.

459
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:20,727
How's it going?
'Sup, Chippy?

460
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,662
How are your folks
liking the clink?

461
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,497
Oh!
(laughter)

462
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,666
Freaking Geno Pinero!

463
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,101
I hate that guy.

464
00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,003
Yeah.
Well, do something about it.

465
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,939
Like what?

466
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:33,273
The guy is a maniac.

467
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:34,274
He stuck a garden hose

468
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,109
up Danny Clerkin's butt

469
00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:37,844
and the water shot out
of his nose!

470
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,112
Okay.

471
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:40,247
Well, that didn't happen,

472
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,349
but I am delighted
that the rumor exists.

473
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,617
Look, pal, next time
he gives you crap,

474
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:47,020
yank his pants down
and point at his tiny pecker.

475
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:48,121
That'll do it.

476
00:14:48,155 --> 00:14:49,256
You're insane, okay?

477
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,790
He-He'll pound me.

478
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,759
No!
Humor trumps violence.

479
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:54,527
Trust me,
girls want the funny guy.

480
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,895
LIZ:
Mackenzie.

481
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:58,731
Ah! Oh.
I thought that was you.

482
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,033
Liz, Poodle's friend.

483
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,635
Mm-hmm.
How are you
managing with the kids?

484
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:04,537
Sabrina can be
a bit of a handful.

485
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:05,538
Sabrina?

486
00:15:05,572 --> 00:15:07,074
No, she's been very helpful.

487
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,376
I don't know how I'd manage
without her.

488
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,444
Well, I got to run.

489
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:14,214
Make sure you get some sleep,
you look tired.

490
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,549
Bye, hon.
Bye, hon.

491
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:19,552
That woman is a real
see you next Tuesday.

492
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,421
What happens on Tuesday?

493
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,091
Tacos.

494
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,825
Two-dollar drink specials.

495
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,327
(school bell rings)

496
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,162
What are you still doing there?

497
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:31,498
I miss Mommy and Daddy.

498
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,766
*

499
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,168
Well...

500
00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:36,603
I'll tell you what, kid.

501
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:37,904
Why don't you pop on up front?

502
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,572
You are playing hooky today.
Come on.

503
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,508
But what if I miss
something important?

504
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,310
Like what? How to roll your
boogers between your fingers

505
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:44,944
till they disappear?

506
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,013
Buckle up.

507
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,080
(car engine starts)

508
00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:49,649
(groans)
I am hungover.

509
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,818
What's hungover?

510
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,320
Well,
(sighs)

511
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:54,587
you know, it's, like...

512
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,756
you know when you eat
a whole bunch of candy?

513
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,958
Sweet stuff, and at the time
it feels great,

514
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:01,261
but then the next day
you got, like, a tummy ache?

515
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,429
Uh-huh.

516
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,131
That's hungover.

517
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,865
Have you tried pooping?

518
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:08,968
Sometimes that makes
my tummy feel better.

519
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:11,338
I have not.
But I will definitely

520
00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:13,940
take that into consideration.
Thank you.

521
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,176
Uh, hey, Ben, you hungry?

522
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:19,112
You, uh, feeling like
having some ice cream?

523
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:21,114
I can't. My mom
says I'm allergic.

524
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:23,283
Yeah, well, I got
news for you, pal.

525
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,386
Your mom is just projecting her
own eating disorders onto you.

526
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,621
What's projecting?

527
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:31,124
Great question.
Projecting, that's, like,

528
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:34,061
when something's wrong with
you, but you think something's

529
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,295
wrong with somebody else.
Hey. Fire!

530
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,796
What? What?
Fire! Help!

531
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,798
Oh, yeah. Somebody get that.
Hey!

532
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,833
(grunting)

533
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:42,835
Hey!
Here you go, buddy, dig in.

534
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,737
Why didn't we pay for it?

535
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,373
I don't have any money.

536
00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:48,041
Why not?

537
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:50,710
Some people have
less money than others.

538
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,679
Why?

539
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:55,748
Look, pal. I'm not gonna just
stop the whole day and explain

540
00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:58,418
the ins and outs of the economy
to you, all right, now?

541
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,153
'Cause it's boring, okay?

542
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:03,756
And also 'cause I don't totally
have a firm grasp on it myself.

543
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,358
Well, I would have paid for you.

544
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,993
You are so sweet.

545
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,062
Now, don't you go breaking
your piggy bank open.

546
00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:12,565
Is that... is that a Black Card?

547
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,434
* I got that mula, mula,
mula, mula *
(tires screech)

548
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,603
* Queso, queso, queso, queso,
camouflage money *

549
00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:19,206
* They can't see my bankroll
* Nah *

550
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,774
* I been whipping, whipping...
Django, Django *

551
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,009
* Smooth, smooth

552
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,511
* Blame it on the Jame-O
Sabrina?

553
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,912
* I really don't know
why I called *

554
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:27,614
* Why you call her? *

555
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,949
* I said I really
don't know why I called *
What's up?

556
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,684
* I said I really
don't know why I called *

557
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,620
What is that gross bird
doing in this house?

558
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,688
I stole him from school.
I just couldn't watch him

559
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,757
be treated like that
anymore, you know?
Oh, yes. Yes.

560
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:40,093
I'm sure he's much happier here
listening to thumping techno

561
00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:41,628
with your moron friends.

562
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,563
(owl screeches)
(shouts)
Control your animal!

563
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,798
Relax. I'm gonna liberate
him in a wildlife preserve

564
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,367
near Stratford.
(chuckles)

565
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,969
Are you insane? Take him back
to school right this second,

566
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,037
before you get busted.

567
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,606
(slams door)
Oh, great!

568
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:54,774
What happened to you?

569
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:55,775
I'll tell you what happened.

570
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,777
I tried to trump
violence with humor,

571
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,712
and violence won by a landslide.

572
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:01,214
Well, clearly
you didn't do it right.

573
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:02,882
Did you remember to laugh
at his tiny penis?

574
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,050
That part's pretty important.

575
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,218
It was humongous!

576
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:07,220
I'm lucky he didn't
beat me with it.

577
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:10,157
Okay. I... uh, go put
a steak on your face or
something, I don't know.

578
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,725
Sabrina, can you please try
and think for a second?

579
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:15,128
You're the one who told me
to get out on the front lines.

580
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,629
Well, I don't...
I give terrible advice!

581
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,798
Everybody knows that.
Look at me!

582
00:18:18,831 --> 00:18:19,999
I'm grotesque.

583
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:22,001
I'm gonna sue his ass.
For what?

584
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:23,403
Battery.

585
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,971
And then I'm going to sue
the school for negligence.

586
00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:26,406
Okay. Pipe down,
all right? You're not

587
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,074
gonna sue your way
into this girl's pants.

588
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,277
Oh, yeah? Watch me!
(doorbell rings)

589
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:32,412
Now what?

590
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,281
What do you want?

591
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:36,616
Just checking in. You don't
strike me as much of a cook,

592
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:39,319
so I brought you a casserole.
Oh, you are so,

593
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,254
so sweet.
(fake gasps)
(gasps)

594
00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,089
Oh! Shoot.

595
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,791
You did that on purpose.

596
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,359
Mm-hmm.
Oh, my, what did you

597
00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:48,094
do to him?
No. I didn't do that.

598
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,797
He got pounded at school for
checking out some kid's wiener.

599
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:51,931
Because of you!

600
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,633
Now Steffi thinks I'm a joke

601
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:56,135
and Geno's got the raddest
freaking dong in school.

602
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,437
LIZ:
Okay.
(groans)

603
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,539
Mickey, can I have
some more ice cream?

604
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:01,508
(screaming):
Oh, oh!

605
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:04,177
That's it. I'm calling the cops.
Why don't you call the
cops from your house?

606
00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:06,946
Get your hands off me.
Lady, I haven't even begun
to put hands on you.

607
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,815
Afternoon, ladies.
Oh, you again.

608
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,818
Is everything okay?
Officer, this woman
assaulted me.

609
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,786
Number one, that is ludicrous.
Number two, this man

610
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:14,821
is an officer of nothing.

611
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,123
She's a danger
to these children.

612
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,959
The kids are fine.
They do not look fine.

613
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,295
You know what? Why don't you
both get out of my house?
It's not your house.

614
00:19:22,329 --> 00:19:23,563
Can I see some identification?

615
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:24,897
I'm not showing you dick.
Sabrina?

616
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,499
Don't you go anywhere.
I am not done talking to you.

617
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,735
Do you live here?
Yeah.

618
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:29,869
Who is this?

619
00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:33,139
No idea.

620
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,541
Okay, ma'am. Why don't
we step outside

621
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:35,975
until we figure this out?

622
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,845
You are not even a real cop.
You've got a cloth badge.

623
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:39,912
Don't make me detain you.

624
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,080
With what? You have no gun.

625
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:42,349
No, I have a Taser.

626
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:43,883
Bitch, I hope you brought two,
'cause Mama's

627
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,652
got a real high tolerance.

628
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,320
Okay. Here we go.

629
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:48,755
Oh, no! Oh!
(gasps)

630
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:50,823
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!

631
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,492
Oh! Are you okay?
I doubt it.

632
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,761
This is all your fault.
I'm calling the real police

633
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:57,264
for this...
Oh! Oh!

634
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:58,865
Whoa! Alba!

635
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,367
Are you serious?

636
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,269
That was unbelievable.

637
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:03,836
I don't like these people,

638
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,572
but I like you.

639
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:08,207
So, go stop Sabrina,
and don't worry,

640
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:10,677
I will clean this up.

641
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,945
Y-Yeah. Yeah.

642
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,283
Just to be clear,
when you say clean it up...?

643
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,351
Oh, I take 'em home,
make sure they're okay.

644
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:20,287
Okay. Good, good, good.
Thank you!
Mm-hmm.

645
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,288
Sabrina, it's me!

646
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,955
(gears grinding)
Aah!

647
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,858
Listen to me,
you can't just steal owls.

648
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,695
Uh, if you free this owl,

649
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,798
I will murder another one,
just to even the score.

650
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,233
So, know that!

651
00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:37,570
This is an insane message.
Call me back.

652
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:40,540
Sabrina, where are you?!

653
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,475
(phone rings)
(sighs)

654
00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:44,644
Sabrina, are you okay?

655
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,313
Yeah, I'm cool.
I'm at this loft party in SoHo.

656
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:47,547
It's all right.

657
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,049
Then what am I doing
at the wildlife preserve?

658
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,217
Pop the trunk.

659
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,252
*

660
00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:14,474
(owl screeching)
(screams)

661
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:25,151
(chuckles)

662
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:28,621
No, Ben.
Give me the matches.

663
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:33,626
Please stay out
of my purse, okay?
(phone rings)

664
00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,128
Hello.

665
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:37,129
POODLE:
Hey, sis, it's me.

666
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:39,031
Where the hell are you?

667
00:21:39,065 --> 00:21:41,468
Oh, uh, we had
to flee the country.

668
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:44,504
What? I thought you said
it was a misunderstanding.

669
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:47,039
It was. It is.
Well...

670
00:21:47,073 --> 00:21:48,341
It's complicated. Listen.

671
00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:50,610
I need you to watch
the kids a little longer.

672
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:54,013
No. No. Nope.
No, I'm not gonna do that.

673
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,815
I already did my time.
No, my answer's no.

674
00:21:55,848 --> 00:21:58,017
Uh, sorry, Mick, no, yeah,
you-you're breaking up.
No...

675
00:21:58,050 --> 00:21:59,285
I can't hear you.
Oh, no, no, no.

676
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:00,853
I know what you're doing. Stop
it. I can hear you just fine.

677
00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:02,221
Tell the kids Mommy loves them.
No, Poodle. No.

678
00:22:02,254 --> 00:22:03,890
I'll be back soon. All right.
Poodle, no!

679
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,358
Can't hear you,
hanging up, gotta go.
Don't you hang up the phone.

680
00:22:05,392 --> 00:22:06,393
Hello? Hello?

681
00:22:09,261 --> 00:22:11,263
*

682
00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:20,740
You okay?

683
00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:22,375
You don't look so hot.

684
00:22:22,409 --> 00:22:24,544
I mean, you never look great,

685
00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:28,481
but right now you look,
like, actively bad.

686
00:22:28,515 --> 00:22:31,584
No. I'm fine, Sabrina.
Thank you for your concern.

687
00:22:31,618 --> 00:22:33,085
How are you?

688
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,722
I'm awesome.
This chicken is fantastic.

689
00:22:37,390 --> 00:22:39,392
Oh, sweetheart.

690
00:22:39,426 --> 00:22:41,093
That's not chicken.

691
00:22:43,930 --> 00:22:44,931
(Chip laughs)

692
00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:51,270
Hmm.

693
00:22:52,739 --> 00:22:55,107
*

694
00:23:02,649 --> 00:23:05,384
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

695
00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:14,527
Now that you've gotten
to know The Mick,

696
00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:17,329
here are a few more shows
to check out
from Fox.

697
00:23:18,665 --> 00:23:20,567
(beeping)

698
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,702
Nicole.
Get to the attic.

699
00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:25,271
No matter what you hear,
don't make a sound.

700
00:23:26,005 --> 00:23:27,640
(breathing quietly)

701
00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:30,610
(Nicole breathing shakily)

702
00:23:35,848 --> 00:23:36,916
-(phone rings)
-Carter?

703
00:23:36,949 --> 00:23:38,651
-They're here.
-My God.

704
00:23:44,824 --> 00:23:46,325
ANNOUNCER: 24: Legacy.

705
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,495
After the Super Bowl, on Fox.