1 00:00:07,275 --> 00:00:08,827 - You all know I'm not big on speeches. 2 00:00:10,137 --> 00:00:11,068 All right, who am I trying to kid? 3 00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:12,068 I love speeches. 4 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,310 Love 'em. 5 00:00:14,379 --> 00:00:16,793 Everybody in this room has given 6 00:00:16,862 --> 00:00:18,724 their heart and their soul to this project. 7 00:00:18,793 --> 00:00:20,103 You have worked overtime. 8 00:00:20,172 --> 00:00:21,586 You have worked weekends. 9 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:23,344 You have worked holidays. 10 00:00:24,689 --> 00:00:26,724 Mark missed the birth of his firstborn. 11 00:00:28,137 --> 00:00:31,068 Saul missed the birth of his second born. 12 00:00:32,482 --> 00:00:35,034 Mary missed the births of her third, 13 00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:38,137 her fourth, and her fifth born, 14 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:42,137 and it is all in the idea of sacrificing 15 00:00:42,206 --> 00:00:45,068 to achieve something greater than ourselves. 16 00:00:47,034 --> 00:00:50,310 So whether or not this wacky thing actually works, 17 00:00:50,379 --> 00:00:53,275 we all oughta be damn proud 18 00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:54,896 of the work that we have done here. 19 00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:58,448 Here we go. 20 00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:01,172 Everybody raise your glasses. 21 00:01:01,241 --> 00:01:04,241 all: Five, four, three, 22 00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:06,206 two, one. 23 00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:08,034 - Stop the test! It's been called off! 24 00:01:08,103 --> 00:01:10,517 - What the fuck are you saying? 25 00:01:10,586 --> 00:01:12,275 - The entire product has been terminated. 26 00:01:12,344 --> 00:01:13,931 We're all being let go without severance. 27 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,000 - On whose orders? 28 00:01:15,068 --> 00:01:16,344 - Christian DeVille's. 29 00:01:16,413 --> 00:01:17,793 - Christian DeVi-- 30 00:01:17,862 --> 00:01:20,689 I--I can't turn it on? 31 00:01:20,758 --> 00:01:22,379 Not even once? 32 00:01:22,448 --> 00:01:24,034 This is bullshit! 33 00:01:24,103 --> 00:01:26,068 I gave my life to this project! 34 00:01:27,689 --> 00:01:28,655 My life! 35 00:01:47,896 --> 00:01:50,793 - Rain jackets, lawnmowers, piña colada mix. 36 00:01:50,862 --> 00:01:53,517 If you can name it, Hampton DeVille makes it. 37 00:01:53,586 --> 00:01:57,034 And now, you can add hurricane machine to that list. 38 00:01:57,103 --> 00:01:59,896 Our guest today is dashing investigative journalist 39 00:01:59,965 --> 00:02:01,310 Bonan Marrow, 40 00:02:01,379 --> 00:02:03,068 whose reporting led to the public outcry 41 00:02:03,137 --> 00:02:04,586 that caused the hurricane machine 42 00:02:04,655 --> 00:02:05,758 to be shut down. 43 00:02:05,827 --> 00:02:07,413 Now, Bonan, 44 00:02:07,482 --> 00:02:10,793 why would Christian DeVille build a hurricane machine? 45 00:02:10,862 --> 00:02:13,689 - Well, inside sources say he was planning to sell this 46 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:17,206 as a superweapon to the U.S. military. 47 00:02:17,275 --> 00:02:18,965 - Well, I know a lot of people are calling 48 00:02:19,034 --> 00:02:21,103 for Christian DeVille to step down. 49 00:02:21,172 --> 00:02:23,103 This is just one in a long line 50 00:02:23,172 --> 00:02:24,793 of questionable decisions he's made. 51 00:02:24,862 --> 00:02:27,965 I think we all remember the Obelisk. 52 00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:32,137 Why do you need an iPad that big? 53 00:02:32,206 --> 00:02:34,103 - Well, you're the one who dated Christian. 54 00:02:34,172 --> 00:02:35,413 Maybe you can tell us. 55 00:02:35,482 --> 00:02:38,068 Is this man compensating for something? 56 00:02:38,137 --> 00:02:39,344 audience: Ooh! 57 00:02:39,413 --> 00:02:40,862 - Bonan, I will never tell. 58 00:02:42,068 --> 00:02:43,827 - Except in my tell-all book, 59 00:02:43,896 --> 00:02:46,000 which you can preorder now. 60 00:02:50,413 --> 00:02:51,931 - There's something I need to discuss with you, 61 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,206 but you have to swear on the Bible 62 00:02:53,275 --> 00:02:55,413 that this stays between us. 63 00:02:55,482 --> 00:02:56,448 - Okay, I swear. 64 00:02:56,517 --> 00:02:57,689 - Both hands. 65 00:02:57,758 --> 00:02:59,413 - John, what is it? 66 00:02:59,482 --> 00:03:00,793 - I always believed 67 00:03:00,862 --> 00:03:04,172 that Christian had some master plan, 68 00:03:04,241 --> 00:03:07,034 even if to us, it might seem strange 69 00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:08,827 or confusing 70 00:03:08,896 --> 00:03:10,896 or illegal, 71 00:03:10,965 --> 00:03:13,724 but lately, 72 00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,793 I've started to have doubts. 73 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,310 To be self-critical, 74 00:03:17,379 --> 00:03:21,517 I may be blindly following an absolute madman. 75 00:03:21,586 --> 00:03:23,448 - I'm glad to hear you say this. 76 00:03:23,517 --> 00:03:25,896 The board of directors 77 00:03:25,965 --> 00:03:28,655 is holding an emergency meeting tomorrow. 78 00:03:28,724 --> 00:03:30,379 Christian is vulnerable, 79 00:03:30,448 --> 00:03:32,206 and you and I both know someone 80 00:03:32,275 --> 00:03:34,620 who would make a much better CEO. 81 00:03:34,689 --> 00:03:36,655 - Oh, no, no, no. 82 00:03:36,724 --> 00:03:38,896 I'm much happier as a supplicant. 83 00:03:38,965 --> 00:03:41,310 My podiatrist and I came to that conclusion years ago. 84 00:03:41,379 --> 00:03:42,689 - I meant me. 85 00:03:42,758 --> 00:03:45,586 I am going to make a play against Christian, 86 00:03:45,655 --> 00:03:47,310 and I need your support. 87 00:03:47,379 --> 00:03:49,586 - Whoa, Kate. 88 00:03:49,655 --> 00:03:52,586 You're a full-blown Judas? 89 00:03:52,655 --> 00:03:54,724 - I can't believe I ever wanted to be like Christian. 90 00:03:54,793 --> 00:03:56,586 Too much stress, and for what? 91 00:03:56,655 --> 00:03:57,827 Billions of dollars 92 00:03:57,896 --> 00:03:59,275 and the power to destroy the world? 93 00:03:59,344 --> 00:04:00,586 Who has the energy? 94 00:04:00,655 --> 00:04:02,413 - It's funny, the fact that our company is evil 95 00:04:02,482 --> 00:04:04,068 doesn't bother me the way that it used to. 96 00:04:04,137 --> 00:04:05,068 I'm powerless, 97 00:04:05,137 --> 00:04:06,068 and quite frankly, 98 00:04:06,137 --> 00:04:07,689 I find that to be empowering. 99 00:04:07,758 --> 00:04:09,172 - We're honestly lucky to be where we're at. 100 00:04:09,241 --> 00:04:10,379 Nobody can blame us for anything, 101 00:04:10,448 --> 00:04:11,620 plus we get free bagels. 102 00:04:11,689 --> 00:04:13,068 - Oh, right. It's Bagel Tuesday. 103 00:04:14,758 --> 00:04:16,482 - Where the fuck are the fucking bagels? 104 00:04:16,551 --> 00:04:17,827 - This company is evil. 105 00:04:30,827 --> 00:04:32,862 Is everyone excited for Bagel Tuesday? 106 00:04:32,931 --> 00:04:34,275 - Yes! 107 00:04:34,344 --> 00:04:37,068 - Let's see, I have plain bagels, 108 00:04:37,137 --> 00:04:40,068 egg, onion, everything, poppy, jalapeño cheddar, 109 00:04:40,137 --> 00:04:43,068 and even a few cinnamon raisin for the freaks. 110 00:04:43,137 --> 00:04:44,517 - Yes. 111 00:04:44,586 --> 00:04:46,379 - And we all know what goes perfectly 112 00:04:46,448 --> 00:04:47,965 with delicious bagels: 113 00:04:48,034 --> 00:04:50,793 freshly roasted coffee. 114 00:05:02,551 --> 00:05:04,206 And don't forget the fresh-squeezed OJ. 115 00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,103 - Oh. 116 00:05:10,172 --> 00:05:11,172 Oh. 117 00:05:12,965 --> 00:05:14,448 - All right. 118 00:05:14,517 --> 00:05:16,344 Eat up! 119 00:05:19,758 --> 00:05:21,586 I'm sorry. 120 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:25,137 I thought everyone was excited for Bagel Tuesday. 121 00:05:25,206 --> 00:05:26,827 Are you not all grateful 122 00:05:26,896 --> 00:05:28,724 for the feast I have provided you? 123 00:05:31,172 --> 00:05:32,448 Hmm. 124 00:05:32,517 --> 00:05:34,931 Well, you know, apparently, 125 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,931 a lot of people don't appreciate 126 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,931 what I do for this company. 127 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,068 Some people even think 128 00:05:41,137 --> 00:05:44,620 I should step down as CEO. 129 00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:50,103 Well, let me explain something to you. 130 00:05:50,172 --> 00:05:53,206 There is no Hampton DeVille 131 00:05:53,275 --> 00:05:56,103 without Christian DeVille. 132 00:05:56,172 --> 00:05:59,206 I put the roof over your heads, 133 00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:01,655 I put the clothes on your backs, 134 00:06:01,724 --> 00:06:05,413 and I feed you scraps of bread like ducks in a pond! 135 00:06:05,482 --> 00:06:06,517 Quack, quack! 136 00:06:06,586 --> 00:06:08,344 - Quack, quack, amen. 137 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,620 - Now, I demand complete and total loyalty 138 00:06:14,689 --> 00:06:16,034 from my employees, 139 00:06:16,103 --> 00:06:18,137 so if there are any doubters amongst you, 140 00:06:18,206 --> 00:06:19,517 speak now or forever hold your-- 141 00:06:22,379 --> 00:06:23,310 - No! 142 00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:33,517 Oh, my fucking foot and butt! 143 00:06:33,586 --> 00:06:35,517 - Oh, my God, are you okay? 144 00:06:35,586 --> 00:06:37,551 - No, I'm not okay, you fucking morons! 145 00:06:37,620 --> 00:06:38,827 - Somebody call the 5-0! 146 00:06:44,310 --> 00:06:45,827 - John. 147 00:06:45,896 --> 00:06:47,137 John. 148 00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:48,620 John! 149 00:06:48,689 --> 00:06:51,103 - Kate! 150 00:06:51,172 --> 00:06:52,448 You were right. 151 00:06:52,517 --> 00:06:54,379 Christian isn't a god. 152 00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,137 He's the devil. 153 00:06:56,206 --> 00:06:57,931 It's right there in the name! 154 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,655 Christian DeVille! 155 00:07:01,068 --> 00:07:02,827 Like Cruella De Vil. 156 00:07:02,896 --> 00:07:04,172 Wow. 157 00:07:04,241 --> 00:07:06,551 Looking back, she was a pretty bad egg herself. 158 00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:08,862 - Does this mean you'll help me? 159 00:07:08,931 --> 00:07:10,482 - Yes. 160 00:07:10,551 --> 00:07:12,310 But we're gonna do it my way, 161 00:07:12,379 --> 00:07:14,206 which is whatever way you think is best. 162 00:07:14,275 --> 00:07:15,827 I make the rules, 163 00:07:15,896 --> 00:07:18,034 and the first rule is whatever you say goes. 164 00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:21,448 There's something we need to discuss with you, 165 00:07:21,517 --> 00:07:23,000 but you have to swear on the Bible 166 00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,172 that this stays between us. 167 00:07:24,241 --> 00:07:25,448 This has the New Testament for Matt 168 00:07:25,517 --> 00:07:26,724 and the prequel for Jake. 169 00:07:26,793 --> 00:07:27,862 - John, forget the goddamn Bible. 170 00:07:27,931 --> 00:07:29,620 - Yes, sir. 171 00:07:29,689 --> 00:07:33,275 - We are making a play against Christian, 172 00:07:33,344 --> 00:07:34,620 and if you side with us, 173 00:07:34,689 --> 00:07:37,310 you will have more money and power 174 00:07:37,379 --> 00:07:38,551 than you ever dreamed of. 175 00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:40,068 - Congrats, sluts. 176 00:07:40,137 --> 00:07:42,379 Your days of doing grunt work are finally over. 177 00:07:42,448 --> 00:07:43,793 - From this moment forward, 178 00:07:43,862 --> 00:07:46,448 you are no longer junior executives in training. 179 00:07:46,517 --> 00:07:48,068 - You're now senior executives. 180 00:07:48,137 --> 00:07:49,379 - In theory. 181 00:07:49,448 --> 00:07:52,275 All you have to do is walk out that door. 182 00:07:54,827 --> 00:07:57,206 - Actually, we decided we like where we're at. 183 00:07:57,275 --> 00:07:59,068 - You guys just seem really stressed out 184 00:07:59,137 --> 00:08:00,655 all the time. 185 00:08:00,724 --> 00:08:03,172 - With very little power comes very little responsibility. 186 00:08:03,241 --> 00:08:05,620 - We're Buddhists now. 187 00:08:05,689 --> 00:08:07,689 - Well, sucks to be you then! 188 00:08:07,758 --> 00:08:09,310 You're gonna have more money and power 189 00:08:09,379 --> 00:08:10,689 whether you like it or not! 190 00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:11,758 - And a bigger office. 191 00:08:11,827 --> 00:08:13,931 - We like this office. 192 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,310 - How do you like it now? - Hey. 193 00:08:15,379 --> 00:08:16,344 - Huh? - Ow! 194 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,448 - How 'bout now? - Whoa, what? 195 00:08:17,517 --> 00:08:19,103 - Huh? 196 00:08:19,172 --> 00:08:20,103 - How 'bout now? 197 00:08:20,172 --> 00:08:22,413 - We are taking Christian down! 198 00:08:22,482 --> 00:08:23,758 - And so are you! 199 00:08:23,827 --> 00:08:25,655 Want more, you sluts! Want more! 200 00:08:31,965 --> 00:08:33,931 - Ouchy! Ouch! 201 00:08:36,896 --> 00:08:39,275 - Welcome to the inner circle. 202 00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,586 You're all here because we trust you. 203 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,620 - Or because you were standing nearby 204 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,724 when we were trying to recruit somebody else 205 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:47,896 and it would've been awkward not to invite you. 206 00:08:47,965 --> 00:08:49,275 Kevin. 207 00:08:49,344 --> 00:08:51,793 - Christian is a psychopathic dictator 208 00:08:51,862 --> 00:08:54,482 who has run this company into the ground. 209 00:08:54,551 --> 00:08:56,034 I think we can all agree 210 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,724 I will be a more democratic leader. 211 00:08:57,793 --> 00:09:00,206 So without further discussion, let's move on. 212 00:09:00,275 --> 00:09:03,206 - Our job today is to build a case against Christian 213 00:09:03,275 --> 00:09:05,379 that Kate and I can present to the board tomorrow. 214 00:09:05,448 --> 00:09:09,482 So we need to make a list of everything he's done wrong. 215 00:09:09,551 --> 00:09:11,793 - We only have one whiteboard? 216 00:09:11,862 --> 00:09:13,103 - Good point. 217 00:09:13,172 --> 00:09:15,310 Matt, Jake, fetch us some more whiteboards. 218 00:09:15,379 --> 00:09:17,344 - I thought we weren't doing any more grunt work. 219 00:09:17,413 --> 00:09:19,068 - Save your crying for bath time 220 00:09:19,137 --> 00:09:20,689 like the rest of us. 221 00:09:21,724 --> 00:09:23,068 - The surgery was a success. 222 00:09:23,137 --> 00:09:26,172 Your foot and butt will make a full recovery. 223 00:09:26,241 --> 00:09:27,586 However, I'd like to keep you overnight 224 00:09:27,655 --> 00:09:28,965 just for observation. 225 00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:30,310 - Is that really necessary? 226 00:09:30,379 --> 00:09:31,758 - Don't worry. You won't be bothered. 227 00:09:31,827 --> 00:09:33,137 When we learned you were coming, 228 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,586 we moved all the other patients on this floor 229 00:09:34,655 --> 00:09:35,931 to the wet basement. 230 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,793 If you want the whole building to yourself, 231 00:09:37,862 --> 00:09:40,241 we can have them thrown out to the streets. 232 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,413 - Hmm. No, they can stay. 233 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:45,344 - Anyways, it'll just be you and Nurse Richard here. 234 00:09:45,413 --> 00:09:46,965 - I'll take it from here, Doc. 235 00:09:50,034 --> 00:09:51,137 Mm. 236 00:09:54,758 --> 00:09:56,206 - You don't remember me? 237 00:09:56,275 --> 00:09:57,448 - I'm afraid I don't. 238 00:09:58,758 --> 00:10:01,551 I used to work at Hampton DeVille. 239 00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:03,275 Wrote a funny tweet about a hurricane, 240 00:10:03,344 --> 00:10:05,482 then you fired me. 241 00:10:05,551 --> 00:10:07,206 - If you say so. Now, if you don't-- 242 00:10:07,275 --> 00:10:10,379 - You know, my life took a real dark turn after that. 243 00:10:11,379 --> 00:10:13,655 Started drinking, gambling. 244 00:10:13,724 --> 00:10:15,758 I got into dogfighting. 245 00:10:15,827 --> 00:10:19,103 Those hounds tore my ass up good. 246 00:10:19,172 --> 00:10:23,448 Funny thing is, I blamed you for all of it. 247 00:10:23,517 --> 00:10:26,482 I vowed if I ever saw you again, 248 00:10:26,551 --> 00:10:30,827 I would do terrible, terrible things to you. 249 00:10:31,793 --> 00:10:33,758 Mm. 250 00:10:33,827 --> 00:10:35,965 But then I found God. 251 00:10:36,034 --> 00:10:39,068 Stitched my ass up, enrolled in nursing school, 252 00:10:39,137 --> 00:10:41,793 dedicated my life to helping other people. 253 00:10:41,862 --> 00:10:43,758 Now here I am. 254 00:10:45,034 --> 00:10:46,103 All 'cause of you. 255 00:10:46,172 --> 00:10:48,448 So... 256 00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:49,965 thank you. 257 00:10:50,034 --> 00:10:51,862 - Glad I was able to help. 258 00:10:51,931 --> 00:10:53,689 - You know, when I saw you 259 00:10:53,758 --> 00:10:56,172 admitted into the hospital today, 260 00:10:56,241 --> 00:10:58,344 I immediately knew 261 00:10:58,413 --> 00:11:02,413 that it was all part of God's master plan 262 00:11:02,482 --> 00:11:04,862 so that I can do some good 263 00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,448 and make you pay 264 00:11:06,517 --> 00:11:08,413 for all the evil that you've done to the world. 265 00:11:08,482 --> 00:11:10,172 - Oh, wait, no, no! What are you doing? 266 00:11:10,241 --> 00:11:12,241 Ooh! That's--that's just-- 267 00:11:18,586 --> 00:11:20,000 - Okay. What else? 268 00:11:20,068 --> 00:11:21,655 - Christian's responsible for turning 9/11 269 00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,137 into a commercial holiday. 270 00:11:23,206 --> 00:11:25,517 - How could we forget Remember Day? 271 00:11:25,586 --> 00:11:26,724 What else? 272 00:11:26,793 --> 00:11:28,068 - I hit a fisherman with my truck 273 00:11:28,137 --> 00:11:29,379 a few nights back. 274 00:11:29,448 --> 00:11:31,137 We could pin that on Christian if you want. 275 00:11:31,206 --> 00:11:32,482 - Toss it on the board. - Wonderful! 276 00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:34,172 Okay. What else? 277 00:11:34,241 --> 00:11:36,827 Well, I guess there's the hurricane machine. 278 00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:39,586 - Says a lot that it took us this long to even get to it. 279 00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:41,310 - To be fair, Kate, you were pretty involved 280 00:11:41,379 --> 00:11:42,862 in those hurricane machine meetings. 281 00:11:42,931 --> 00:11:44,310 I don't know if you can pin that entirely on Christian. 282 00:11:44,379 --> 00:11:46,034 - Hold your tongue! - No. 283 00:11:46,103 --> 00:11:47,862 John, he's right. 284 00:11:47,931 --> 00:11:49,344 If Christian is going down, 285 00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:51,551 he's gonna wanna take us down with him. 286 00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:53,586 We should see what there is in writing. 287 00:11:53,655 --> 00:11:56,724 - Okay, so the first email about the hurricane machine 288 00:11:56,793 --> 00:11:59,379 was sent by... 289 00:11:59,448 --> 00:12:00,448 Kate. 290 00:12:00,517 --> 00:12:02,793 - "Let's get the ball rolling 291 00:12:02,862 --> 00:12:05,448 on this fantastic hurricane machine idea." 292 00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:07,620 - And then I responded with, 293 00:12:07,689 --> 00:12:09,310 "Count me in." 294 00:12:09,379 --> 00:12:12,068 Okay, but Christian's gotta be on here somewhere, right? 295 00:12:12,137 --> 00:12:13,068 Let's see. 296 00:12:13,137 --> 00:12:14,655 Uh, here's Jake. 297 00:12:14,724 --> 00:12:17,448 - "I'm in as long as we test it on New Jersey first." 298 00:12:17,517 --> 00:12:19,344 - To which Kevin replied... 299 00:12:19,413 --> 00:12:20,551 - "LOL." 300 00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:22,620 - Christian's not even on this thread. 301 00:12:22,689 --> 00:12:24,482 - That delegating motherfucker. 302 00:12:24,551 --> 00:12:27,068 If Christian goes down, we all go down. 303 00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:28,448 - I'm not going back to the clink. 304 00:12:28,517 --> 00:12:30,103 - No one's going to the clink, you idiot! 305 00:12:30,172 --> 00:12:32,965 - If I go back to the clink, I'm taking you with me, Katie. 306 00:12:33,034 --> 00:12:34,551 And you, too, Johnny Boy! 307 00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:35,931 - Kevin, don't you dare threaten 308 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,448 to put me in the clink, you fucking murderer! 309 00:12:37,517 --> 00:12:38,931 - Everyone stop calling it the clink! 310 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,137 - That's what they call it in the slammer. 311 00:12:41,206 --> 00:12:42,620 - Guys, can we please stop arguing 312 00:12:42,689 --> 00:12:43,758 and just order some food? 313 00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:44,827 We're all just on edge 314 00:12:44,896 --> 00:12:46,206 because Christian ruined breakfast. 315 00:12:46,275 --> 00:12:48,758 - Okay, let's just cross hurricane machine off the list 316 00:12:48,827 --> 00:12:50,172 and order some food. 317 00:12:50,241 --> 00:12:53,103 What does everybody want? 318 00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:54,689 - Well, I don't want any fish. 319 00:12:54,758 --> 00:12:56,379 - Well, great, Kev. That narrows it down. 320 00:12:57,241 --> 00:13:01,482 - Look who got a visit from the dinner fairy. 321 00:13:04,413 --> 00:13:07,241 - Man, what the fuck is going on? 322 00:13:07,310 --> 00:13:08,655 Help! Help! 323 00:13:08,724 --> 00:13:10,206 - Help! Help! 324 00:13:10,275 --> 00:13:11,758 Hel-- 325 00:13:11,827 --> 00:13:13,862 right, I'm the only nurse on duty. 326 00:13:13,931 --> 00:13:15,517 I don't know about you, 327 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:16,931 but I'm feeling a little naughty. 328 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,655 What do you say we start with dessert? 329 00:13:25,586 --> 00:13:28,793 That's good. 330 00:13:28,862 --> 00:13:31,344 - Oh, I get it. 331 00:13:31,413 --> 00:13:33,517 You see me as some... 332 00:13:33,586 --> 00:13:34,965 - Evil billionaire 333 00:13:35,034 --> 00:13:37,896 who's ruining the world with my evil corporation. 334 00:13:37,965 --> 00:13:40,620 Well, grow the fuck up. 335 00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,448 That hurricane machine everyone's so mad about 336 00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:44,689 employed thousands of hard-working people 337 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:47,103 until that bonehead Bonan Marrow had to butt in 338 00:13:47,172 --> 00:13:48,206 and get them all fired. 339 00:13:48,275 --> 00:13:50,551 He's evil! I'm the good guy! 340 00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:52,482 Will you stop making airplane sounds? 341 00:13:52,551 --> 00:13:53,620 - Uh-oh! 342 00:13:53,689 --> 00:13:55,689 This plane is off course! 343 00:13:55,758 --> 00:13:58,310 It's gonna make a crash landing! 344 00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:04,413 - Oat Zone. 345 00:14:06,517 --> 00:14:08,896 Another for Barley Barn. 346 00:14:08,965 --> 00:14:11,034 And... 347 00:14:11,103 --> 00:14:12,241 Pesto Palace? 348 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,965 - God damn it! 349 00:14:14,034 --> 00:14:15,551 It's another tie! 350 00:14:15,620 --> 00:14:18,793 Okay, who keeps throwing away their vote on Pesto Palace? 351 00:14:18,862 --> 00:14:21,000 It's a third-party candidate and you know it! 352 00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,551 - I vote on principle! 353 00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:24,344 - Why don't we just order a bunch of pizzas? 354 00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:26,379 - What are we, a softball team? 355 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,241 - Okay, you know what? 356 00:14:28,310 --> 00:14:29,241 I'm in charge! 357 00:14:29,310 --> 00:14:31,448 And we're going to Oat Zone! 358 00:14:31,517 --> 00:14:33,068 - What happened to being a democratic leader? 359 00:14:33,137 --> 00:14:34,689 - Shut up and tell me what kind of oats you want! 360 00:14:34,758 --> 00:14:35,862 Rolled or steel cut? 361 00:14:35,931 --> 00:14:37,689 - Well, Oat Zone's closed. 362 00:14:37,758 --> 00:14:38,862 - Fuck! 363 00:14:38,931 --> 00:14:39,931 - Well, I'm thrilled, 364 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,689 because I voted for Barley Barn. 365 00:14:41,758 --> 00:14:43,586 - That's closed too. - God! Jesus Christ! 366 00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:47,689 Like no one ever wanted barley after 2:00 a.m.? 367 00:14:47,758 --> 00:14:49,517 They're leaving money on the farm-to-table! 368 00:14:49,586 --> 00:14:52,620 - Matt, Jake, go out and get us some food! 369 00:14:52,689 --> 00:14:54,586 - I thought you said we didn't have to do grunt work anymore. 370 00:14:54,655 --> 00:14:55,896 - You go do the goddamn food, you son of a bitch! 371 00:14:55,965 --> 00:14:56,965 - Go and get us the fucking food! 372 00:14:57,034 --> 00:14:59,551 - Go! - Get up and get us food! 373 00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:02,448 - What I'm remembering now is that being powerless sucks. 374 00:15:02,517 --> 00:15:03,827 - Yeah. I definitely want money. 375 00:15:03,896 --> 00:15:05,137 And power. 376 00:15:05,206 --> 00:15:06,724 I don't know what Buddhists are talking about. 377 00:15:06,793 --> 00:15:07,965 - Maybe you can only be a Buddhist 378 00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:09,965 if you already have money and power? 379 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:12,310 - Yeah, like how celebrities only care about the environment 380 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:15,275 once they're bored of having sex with each other. 381 00:15:15,344 --> 00:15:17,379 Wait, Matt. 382 00:15:17,448 --> 00:15:18,862 We do have power. 383 00:15:18,931 --> 00:15:20,137 If we go to Christian right now, 384 00:15:20,206 --> 00:15:21,586 we could tell him what Kate and John are up to 385 00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:22,862 and sabotage the coup. 386 00:15:22,931 --> 00:15:24,551 I bet he'd promote us as a reward. 387 00:15:24,620 --> 00:15:26,068 - That's genius. 388 00:15:26,137 --> 00:15:28,310 We'll get everything we want, then become Buddhists. 389 00:15:28,379 --> 00:15:29,517 - Then have a ton of sex, 390 00:15:29,586 --> 00:15:30,931 then start caring about the environment. 391 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,413 - Then... 392 00:15:33,482 --> 00:15:34,655 - No, Matt, that's it. 393 00:15:34,724 --> 00:15:36,413 - Oh. 394 00:15:36,482 --> 00:15:38,586 Don't you ever just wish there was more? 395 00:15:41,068 --> 00:15:42,379 - And then I wrote, 396 00:15:42,448 --> 00:15:43,724 "Sell consumer data to the Chinese government 397 00:15:43,793 --> 00:15:46,517 "to disrupt the next presidential election? 398 00:15:46,586 --> 00:15:48,586 I'm down to clown." 399 00:15:48,655 --> 00:15:50,206 To which Kevin replied... 400 00:15:50,275 --> 00:15:51,482 - "LOL." 401 00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:53,931 - "LOL." 402 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,827 Looks like we're complicit in this one too. 403 00:15:58,172 --> 00:15:59,275 - Oh, great. 404 00:15:59,344 --> 00:16:01,103 At least we're saving energy. 405 00:16:01,172 --> 00:16:02,689 There's one thing Hampton DeVille's doing 406 00:16:02,758 --> 00:16:04,310 that's not evil. 407 00:16:04,379 --> 00:16:08,034 - I'm gonna say something controversial. 408 00:16:08,103 --> 00:16:11,344 I don't think Hampton DeVille is evil. 409 00:16:11,413 --> 00:16:15,965 I mean, what even is Hampton DeVille? 410 00:16:16,034 --> 00:16:17,344 - A corporation. 411 00:16:17,413 --> 00:16:20,827 - Right, but what is a corporation? 412 00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:22,172 - A building? 413 00:16:22,241 --> 00:16:23,344 - Money. 414 00:16:23,413 --> 00:16:25,517 - A group of people... Maroon 5... 415 00:16:25,586 --> 00:16:27,137 - Maroon 5. - Maroon 5! 416 00:16:27,206 --> 00:16:30,275 That's what I'm talking about. 417 00:16:30,344 --> 00:16:32,793 What the fuck 418 00:16:32,862 --> 00:16:35,827 is Maroon 5? 419 00:16:35,896 --> 00:16:37,896 It's an imaginary concept 420 00:16:37,965 --> 00:16:40,931 made up by a sociopath, 421 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,758 just like Hampton DeVille. 422 00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:46,965 It's a triangle we ascribe meaning to. 423 00:16:47,034 --> 00:16:50,068 But we're the ones who drive to the office in the morning 424 00:16:50,137 --> 00:16:53,793 to have meetings about hurricane machines. 425 00:16:53,862 --> 00:16:55,862 Maybe we're the ones to blame. 426 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:59,862 - We did all this evil shit for a fucking triangle! 427 00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:01,275 - Okay. 428 00:17:01,344 --> 00:17:03,758 You know, it has been fun catching up, 429 00:17:03,827 --> 00:17:06,413 but I think it's time we wrap this puppy up. 430 00:17:06,482 --> 00:17:09,137 You know, I'd tell you that this is gonna be painless, 431 00:17:09,206 --> 00:17:12,172 but I graduated at the bottom of my class in nursing school, 432 00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:15,517 so I'm just gonna guess where your artery is. 433 00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:16,655 - Christian, there's something we need-- 434 00:17:18,068 --> 00:17:19,517 Richard? 435 00:17:19,586 --> 00:17:21,275 - Oh, my God. Hey, man. 436 00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:23,034 - Uh, hey, guys! 437 00:17:23,103 --> 00:17:24,034 - You're a doctor now? 438 00:17:24,103 --> 00:17:25,655 - Nurse, but yeah. 439 00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:27,206 - I fucking love nurses. 440 00:17:27,275 --> 00:17:28,827 Best people on Earth. 441 00:17:28,896 --> 00:17:31,000 - Give us a hug, my dude! 442 00:17:31,068 --> 00:17:32,655 - Come on! - It's great to see you, man. 443 00:17:32,724 --> 00:17:33,965 - Yeah, you guys. - Yeah. 444 00:17:34,034 --> 00:17:35,241 - God, what's up, man? I love pink on you. 445 00:17:35,310 --> 00:17:36,724 - You know, you boys are just in time. 446 00:17:36,793 --> 00:17:37,931 I was about to leave. 447 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,413 - Now, now, remember your doctor-- 448 00:17:39,482 --> 00:17:41,000 - Oh, no, no, no! I feel right as rain! 449 00:17:41,068 --> 00:17:42,482 Just untie these straps and let's go. 450 00:17:42,551 --> 00:17:44,482 - All right. You heard the man. 451 00:17:44,551 --> 00:17:47,551 - Wow, they really want you to stay in your bed here. 452 00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:48,655 Like a prisoner or something. 453 00:17:52,482 --> 00:17:54,000 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. 454 00:17:54,068 --> 00:17:56,413 And so Kate and John are back at the office right now 455 00:17:56,482 --> 00:17:57,724 trying to stab you in the back. 456 00:17:57,793 --> 00:17:58,931 - But they didn't count on us 457 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,586 stabbing them in their backs first. 458 00:18:00,655 --> 00:18:02,482 Or wait, no. Maybe we did it second. 459 00:18:02,551 --> 00:18:03,965 - Regardless, it's self-defense, 460 00:18:04,034 --> 00:18:06,103 so legally, we think we're in the clear. 461 00:18:12,137 --> 00:18:15,172 Seems like everyone has turned against me. 462 00:18:15,241 --> 00:18:16,793 Somewhere along the way, 463 00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:20,275 I forgot what Hampton DeVille really is. 464 00:18:20,344 --> 00:18:21,965 It's people. 465 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:24,862 Good people, like the two of you. 466 00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:27,137 I'm afraid I don't even remember your names. 467 00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:28,379 - I'm Matt-- 468 00:18:28,448 --> 00:18:30,689 - I need to start listening to people. 469 00:18:30,758 --> 00:18:33,862 Is there anything I can do to win everyone back? 470 00:18:43,448 --> 00:18:44,931 - So it's decided. 471 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,620 We're all gonna quit and stop working for a corporation. 472 00:18:47,689 --> 00:18:50,206 - And just pray that God forgives us. 473 00:18:50,275 --> 00:18:52,620 - Guess we have to move to the woods. 474 00:18:52,689 --> 00:18:54,724 Live off the land. 475 00:18:54,793 --> 00:18:57,034 - We could gather lumber and sell it for money. 476 00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:58,379 - We should incorporate. 477 00:18:58,448 --> 00:18:59,586 Avoid taxes. 478 00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:01,000 - That's a great idea. 479 00:19:01,068 --> 00:19:03,034 Wait, no! 480 00:19:03,103 --> 00:19:05,172 - Even if we quit, we can't escape! 481 00:19:05,241 --> 00:19:07,724 - If only God would give us a sign. 482 00:19:15,620 --> 00:19:17,137 - Christian's alive? 483 00:19:17,206 --> 00:19:18,413 - You thought he was dead? 484 00:19:18,482 --> 00:19:21,827 - No, I guess I just got caught up in the moment. 485 00:19:21,896 --> 00:19:24,551 - I know everything you've been doing. 486 00:19:24,620 --> 00:19:25,689 - Christian, we're sorry. 487 00:19:25,758 --> 00:19:26,689 It was all Kate! 488 00:19:26,758 --> 00:19:28,482 - John! - No. 489 00:19:28,551 --> 00:19:30,413 No, it's okay. 490 00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:33,793 Yesterday, 491 00:19:33,862 --> 00:19:36,137 I said there's no Hampton DeVille 492 00:19:36,206 --> 00:19:38,827 without me. 493 00:19:38,896 --> 00:19:41,551 But I was wrong. 494 00:19:41,620 --> 00:19:44,448 There's no Hampton DeVille 495 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,862 without you. 496 00:19:46,931 --> 00:19:48,034 I only hope 497 00:19:48,103 --> 00:19:49,275 that you can find it in your hearts 498 00:19:49,344 --> 00:19:52,620 to accept my humble offering 499 00:19:52,689 --> 00:19:54,137 and forgive me. 500 00:19:58,379 --> 00:19:59,620 - Dibs on jalapeño cheddar! 501 00:19:59,689 --> 00:20:02,275 - Wait! 502 00:20:02,344 --> 00:20:04,034 I want the jalapeño cheddar. 503 00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:05,172 - I'll maim you! 504 00:20:05,241 --> 00:20:06,413 I'll maim you all! 505 00:20:06,482 --> 00:20:07,620 - Oh, not lox! 506 00:20:10,620 --> 00:20:12,172 - There are two important matters left to discuss. 507 00:20:12,241 --> 00:20:13,931 First, 508 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,103 I wouldn't be here 509 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,241 without two very courageous people... 510 00:20:20,241 --> 00:20:21,793 - Jake and Matt. 511 00:20:21,862 --> 00:20:23,137 - Jake 512 00:20:23,206 --> 00:20:24,827 and, of course, 513 00:20:24,896 --> 00:20:26,310 Bradley, 514 00:20:26,379 --> 00:20:29,793 and I think it's time for a long overdue promotion. 515 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:31,275 From this moment forward, 516 00:20:31,344 --> 00:20:33,482 you are no longer unpaid interns. 517 00:20:33,551 --> 00:20:35,344 You are now... 518 00:20:35,413 --> 00:20:37,551 junior executives in training. 519 00:20:37,620 --> 00:20:39,068 - Hear, hear. 520 00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:40,620 Bravo! 521 00:20:40,689 --> 00:20:43,551 - Well, at least he sort of knows one of our names now. 522 00:20:43,620 --> 00:20:44,689 - Things are looking up. 523 00:20:44,758 --> 00:20:46,206 - And lastly, 524 00:20:46,275 --> 00:20:48,862 I think we need to have a very serious conversation 525 00:20:48,931 --> 00:20:50,965 about what happened before 526 00:20:51,034 --> 00:20:53,689 when I... 527 00:20:53,758 --> 00:20:55,448 broke wind. 528 00:20:58,482 --> 00:20:59,965 Wasn't that funny? 529 00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:06,275 - And yet none of you laughed! 530 00:21:06,344 --> 00:21:07,586 - We were scared! 531 00:21:07,655 --> 00:21:09,034 - John said, "No!" 532 00:21:09,103 --> 00:21:10,827 - I did! I did! 533 00:21:42,482 --> 00:21:43,586 - Open the door! 534 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,965 You're gonna kill us all! 535 00:21:52,034 --> 00:21:54,206 - Sometimes, life can be so painful, 536 00:21:54,275 --> 00:21:55,827 you just have to laugh! 537 00:22:06,172 --> 00:22:10,000 Gee, honey, we'd have fun!