[dramatic electronic music]
[waves crashing]
- I have a granddaughter, Tess.
She loves to surf.
I taught her when she was real young.
My daughter, her mother, you see,
made some pretty terrible choices in men,
so Tess needed something to focus on.
Some kids need an outlet,
and need to be able to channel that hate somewhere,
and well the ocean became a place of safety for her.
And I her, her confidant.
Oh, her mother married a real gem when Tess was about nine.
He took a lot of pride in makin' her life
as miserable as he could.
All sorts of ways.
Tess got a brother when she was about 11.
Me and my wife mainly took care of 'em,
but in those all those moments
that we couldn't see behind
the closed doors, Tess was there.
In my eyes, she's really the one that raised the kid
for the first few years of his life.
He was, he was her everything.
I don't know exactly what it was
that my daughter's husband did,
but he did something bad enough,
awful enough at, at 13.
Tess decided she needed to run away.
She left everything behind.
Me, her grandmother,
her brother.
She needed to escape.
Ah, and took me years to fully understand that.
One day, shortly after my wife died,
there was a, there was a knock at the door
and [chuckling] there she was.
Eight years since the last time I'd seen her.
I didn't ask why.
She didn't offer to explain.
The only thing that came out of my mouth
was oh, we have a whole lot of birthdays
to make up for. [chuckling]
She's been my best friend ever since.
Hell, she's the only way I still get to enjoy the ocean.
She comes here and visits me everyday now.
So life's been good, Doc.
Lay it on me.
- It's spread faster than we thought, Harold.
We just couldn't catch it all.
Sometimes these things end up striking like lightning.
Sometimes they're slow as molasses.
We can never really predict what's going to happen.
- How long do I have?
- It could be weeks.
It could be a month.
We don't really know.
What we need to do is keep an eye
on how you feel each day. [Harold sighing]
That will help us monitor everything.
- I'm not gonna lie to ya, Doc.
I'm tired.
- We can make things comfortable.
- Life's funny, ya know?
Kind of like the ocean.
- How's that?
- Well, for one thing it's big.
Comes in waves.
Tide's always changing.
It's unpredictable.
And like life, sometimes it can just seem
so blue and vast and empty.
But if you dive down beneath the surface,
ah, it's filled with life.
But you can only ride that wave for so long
until you gotta take that drop.
You know, you gotta [blowing] drop in.
Carve it out.
Know what I mean?
- Where's your granddaughter this morning, Harold?
- My best guess is she's out wearing the tide.
[Vera snoring]
[bottles clinking]
- Who's up? - Oh, my God.
- You have an interview at Sterling's at 11.
- That's not till Thursday.
- It is Thursday.
- Oh, then it's on Friday.
- Yeah, you have one on Friday, too.
- Oh, where did the week go?
- It came and went.
- God, how do you get up so early and do sports stuff?
Jesus.
What's your plan today?
- I'm gonna go see Gramps for a little bit.
- Mm, how's he doing?
- He's good.
You know, one day at a time,
but I think he's gonna beat this thing, you know?
- That's awesome.
So you wanna talk about it?
- About what?
- You know.
- Ah, no, I don't.
- Matt.
- What about him?
- Tess, we're women.
When a man breaks our heart,
we sit around and we talk lots of shit about them
which in turn makes us feel better,
and it's called the grieving process.
- Okay, V., you're like literally
the last person I want relationship advice from.
Besides, I have nothing bad to say about him.
You know, it's over, [pills rattling]
it's done, there's [pill cover snapping]
nothing else to talk about.
- [Vera] Fine.
- Those new?
- No.
- Doctor prescribe 'em?
- Of course.
[Vera sighing]
- Okay.
I gotta go.
Don't be late to your interview.
I'm serious.
- Okay, mom.
[chuckling]
- I heard there was a grumpy, old man in here
that won't eat his Jello.
- I eat my damn Jello every day.
- [chuckling] Hi, Gramps. - Hey.
What you got there?
- Flowers. - Yeah.
Flowers usually signify something of which I want none.
- Oh, okay, well, I'm your granddaughter
which means sympathy is just part of the package.
If you don't like it, you can just get better.
It's as simple as that.
[cards banging on table]
Alright, I've been practicing at home with Vera.
- Uh-oh. - Check it out.
[cards clattering]
Look out, Vegas. [Tess laughing]
- Oh, wait, I have something for you.
- Oh, boy.
Shh. - Now we can gamble
with something other pennies.
I'm really tired of sounding like
a walking piggy bank every time I come here.
[cards clattering]
- Hey, Tess, before ya...
We need to talk.
- We are talking.
- Tess...
- You know, I never knew there was more
than one type of poker
but there's seven card stud, - Tess?
- there's... - Look at me.
I'm dying.
- How long?
- Sooner than later.
And I know you've been coming here for over a year now,
and you're bringing me flowers day in and day out,
holding out hope that I'm gonna beat this,
but I don't, I just don't think
it's gonna play out that way.
[Tess sighing] It's okay.
- No, it's not.
- Yes, it is.
That's the way the dice rolled.
- But it's not fair.
- No, what's not fair
is for a grumpy, old grandfather
to be worried that his beautiful granddaughter,
who he loves more than anything in the world,
is gonna be okay after he's gone.
I can't be the only thing that you're holdin' onto, Tess.
It's been okay for the last couple of years, but...
You know, life has a way of catchin' up with us.
You understand what I'm sayin'?
- No, not at all.
- All I'm sayin' is I can't let ya sit here
and watch me die.
I need, I need you to go away.
- Go?
Go where?
- I want you to get in your rig, head up North.
- [Tess] Why North?
- Big surf, big country, big roads that need to be traveled.
- You want me to drive up the 101?
- That's as rugged as your own life.
- You taught me how to surf all up and down it.
- I sure did.
I taught ya how to camp on it, how to fish on it.
You know that road like the back of your hand.
[sighing] Ya also know where it leads to.
- I'm not going there.
- I know, I know, and I didn't think this was gonna be easy,
but sweetie, honey, you've been holdin' on
to so much stuff for so long now.
Things that are gonna stop ya from moving forward,
and I want you to confront that stuff.
You have a bunch of it buried down deep.
You threw away the map.
I want ya to, God, I want ya find it,
I want ya to dig it up,
and I want ya to let if float away.
You can cross oceans--
- If you have courage to lose sight of the shore.
- That's right.
You're 30 years old now.
I want you to live your life free and clear.
Clean slate.
No more guilt.
That's right, there I went and said it, I'm sorry I said it,
but you know, you've been harboring
a ton of guilt for too long now,
and I know you hate to hear me say it,
but I do not have a lotta time,
and I'm not gonna hold anything back.
You've been holdin' on to just way too many demons
for too long now.
No, no 13 year old kid should have to do that.
No kid should have to face that alone.
I'm, [sighing], I'm just so,
I'm just so, I'm just so sorry I didn't,
I didn't see it back then.
- It's okay.
- No, it's not.
You just have so much hate
that you're holdin' onto.
And the more anger that ya,
ya look toward in the past,
the less capable your are of being able
to love in the present.
So I need ya to go.
For me.
And for you.
- I'm not gonna argue with you
'cause I know it'll do no good.
- [Harold] No, it won't.
[Tess sighing]
- Okay, I'll go for you.
- Thank you.
- One condition.
- Here it comes.
- The nurse can teach you how to use it,
but I'm gonna need to video chat you from the road.
- Video what you?
- Video chat.
It's technology, Gramps. - I don't like technology,
and it doesn't like me.
- Well, it's part of the deal.
- For you, okay.
- You're still gonna be here when I get back.
I'm not going anywhere.
The lord don't want ya and the devil's too afraid of ya.
[Harold laughing]
You're stuck with me.
- Oh, I'll always be with you, sweetheart.
Always.
[sighing]
- I love you, Gramps. - I love you, too.
And just remember,
all roads lead home.
[birds chirping]
- What's that?
- It's my brother.
- Brother?
- I didn't even know you had a brother.
- Half-brother.
- How's your gramps doing?
- How'd the interview go?
- Is that what we're gonna do today?
Be combative?
It went fine, Tess.
Don't have to constantly worry about me.
I'm an adult, I can take care of myself.
- Can you?
You haven't been able to hold down a job
for more than a few months.
Your free time is spent boozing
your way down the alphabet by brand,
and you can't get your head off the pillow before noon,
and you seem to be way more concerned
about me and my life than you and yours.
- Please, tell me how you really feel.
- This isn't a joke, V.
- I never said it was.
I just find it rather hypocritical of you.
- How's that?
- Coming from the girl who can't talk about her feelings,
let alone show any.
I've known you for years now, Tess,
and I'm just now finding out that you have a brother.
How do you expect me to be a good friend to you
if you just keep me in the dark
every single second of every day?
I've watched you mope around this house
for well over a year,
and do you know how many times you confided in me
as to what maybe going on inside that head of yours?
Zero.
Zero times, Tess.
Not once have you ever thought
that maybe I could help with something.
- I gotta go away for awhile.
- [Vera] What?
- I gotta take a trip,
and I don't think I can do it alone, V.
- What sort of trip are we talking about here?
- One that involves four wheels,
a highway,
and the ocean off to our left.
- Does said trip involve pretty scenery?
- Yes.
- And snacks?
- Yes.
- What about boys?
- I'm almost certain of it.
- Are you gonna make me surf?
- No.
- When do we leave? [laughing] [Tess laughing]
Why did we not stop in Napa Valley?
- What's in Napa Valley?
- Wine, luxury, beautiful sunsets, Francis Ford Coppola,
need I continue?
- I don't know, I guess I just never had
any interest in going there.
- Huh, that's because your interest
lies solely in what the tide is going do each day.
Or trying to find how many species
of starfish inhabit Monterrey Bay.
And actually, doubt that you've ever even had wine,
let alone know what it's made of.
- Hey, that's not true.
I've had the kind that comes in a box.
And it's made from some sort of vegetable.
- It's made from grapes which is a fruit,
and you've had boxed wine?
- Yeah, good stuff.
- It's boxed wine.
No one admits to actually having boxed wine.
It's like admitting that you like the taste of shit.
Literally it's shit.
- Okay, it wasn't that bad.
- No, no, stop.
- It wasn't. - No, you're done.
Purse your lips, bite your tongue.
Boxed wine.
- Alright, we need to find a place to camp tonight.
- Excuse me?
- What?
- Did you say camp?
- Ah, yes, that's the exact word that I used.
- Camping as in tents?
- Tents, sleeping bags, nice cozy fire.
It's perfect, right?
- Bears, bug bites, Bigfoot, wolves.
You never said anything about camping, Tess.
- Whoa, why are you freaking out?
- Because I do not camp.
I sleep in things with a solid four walls
and linens and electricity and I don't do tents.
- Okay, well you are on this trip.
- I am not.
- What do you do?
Get a hotel every night
with the job that you have? [laughing]
- I do not find that humorous in the least bit.
I have to pee.
- Alright, I'll find a place to pull over up here.
- Pull over, pull over where?
- To the next dirt road that I see.
- Tess, why are you under the impression
that I am some sort of barbaric Viking?
- [chuckling] Okay, I'm pretty sure
I never asked you to invade Native American soil.
- No, just pee all over it.
Pee all over the Native Americans.
You know, that's racist, Tess.
You're a racist.
- This is gonna be a long trip.
- [Vera] I really have to pee, though.
So are there like bears here? - Not at this time of year.
- [Vera] Okay, so there's bears at other times of the year.
- [Tess] I mean,
I'm going nuts.
- [Vera] I don't under, like, where are we,
do we got a tent? - A spot, we have one.
Yeah, we got a tent.
We got sleeping bags, we got it all.
- [Vera] What'd you buy it?
We didn't have that.
I wouldn't let that be in the house.
- [Tess] I had it in storage.
- Ah. - I do.
Alright, bathrooms are down there.
- If I'm not back in five minutes, send search and rescue.
- Would you like a flare gun?
[Vera mimicking gun fire]
Vera?
What the heck?
Seriously?
Where the hell have you been?
- [Vera] In the bathroom.
Bed time.
[waves crashing]
- [Tess] There's a reason why things get pushed way down.
Why I don't like things to surface.
It just always seemed easier
to put them in a closet and forget.
Out of sight, out of mind.
I think most people can relate to that,
or maybe they can't.
Maybe people need to take things head on.
Either way, I suppose we can't run from things forever.
Eventually they catch up with you
because you become so tired
from towing the line for so long.
Dragging a bag of bones
that gets heavier and heavier as time goes on.
There were times when no one could understand.
And writing in this book seemed the only sane thing to do.
But then you realize you're doing nothing
but talking to yourself.
And then things aren't so sane anymore.
And It would be easy to turn to everything.
Anything to numb that pain
that eats away at the pit of your stomach.
That's where this is and forever shall be.
The vault.
A collection of thoughts that are meant for my eyes only,
locked away by conviction and humility.
Bound by guilt and anger.
Those things that somehow I'm supposed to let go of.
In time, in time.
P.S., no surfing today.
I need waves.
[waves crashing]
- Well, we couldn't stop in Napa Valley,
but we can come see a big freaking Paul Bunyan statue.
- Paul Bunyan's a classic.
- Yeah, you want any snacks?
- No, I'm fine.
- [Vera] Okay.
- Are you going North, though?
Because I need to go North to the Prehistoric Forest,
where all the dinosaurs are.
I swear, I'll be really quiet in the car,
and I won't, I won't do anything mean.
Please, I need to go to the Prehistoric Forest.
- Hi.
- Oh, a girl is talking to me.
- Where are you headed?
- To, um, I'm heading North to the Prehistoric Forest,
where all the dinosaurs are.
- What's your name?
- I'm Noah.
- Oh, like Noah's Ark.
- Yes, exactly like Noah's Ark.
Did you know he had dinosaurs on his ark?
Did you know that?
- I think I did. [chuckling] - Mm-hmm.
- I'm Tess. - Yeah.
- What's going on here?
- Okay, another girl.
Oh. - What's going on here?
- Ah, Noah, this is V., V., this is Noah.
- What, you're named after a letter?
God, that's so cool. [Tess laughing]
- That's short for Vera.
- What, you have two names?
That's even cooler.
- Okay, can we go now?
- Well, nice meeting you.
- Yeah, okay, um, bye.
- Bye, good luck.
- Thank you.
Anyone going North?
- Hey, since we're here,
I just wanna see something.
- See what?
- Trees.
I mean, we're here, right?
- Trees?
You wanna see trees.
I'm pretty sure we could have done that at home, Tess.
- Yeah, but they're like big trees.
- Big trees.
Nature.
Great.
[groaning] Just kill me.
Can you wait?
[birds chirping]
[Tess chuckling] You know,
it's really not funny.
This is like extreme on another level.
- Come on.
- [sighing] You know, I get the surfing stuff,
but all this hiking just really feels like a waste of time.
- [Tess] [laughing] Come on.
Woo.
- [Vera] Okay, Tess, can we just hold on?
- Hurry up. - I don't know why
we're in such a rush.
[Tess laughing] I mean, can you just wait?
- Whoa.
You know what John Weir said?
Between every two trees
is the door to a new life.
[laughing] Let's go!
- Huh, great.
Hey?
Way too much nature for me.
[birds chirping]
Okay, I admit it.
It's pretty.
- [Tess] These are the moments, V.
- [Vera] What moments?
- The moments we have to enjoy.
The simple things.
[Vera groaning]
- Great, can't we just wait a second?
Nope.
Okay.
[water sloshing]
- Huh. - Wow.
- I remember Gramps taking me
someplace like this when I was a kid.
But way bigger, though.
- [laughing] This isn't big to you?
- I remember running
fast.
'cause I wanted to get there before anyone else did.
[Vera chuckling]
I tripped and fell,
and then Gramps picked me up
and he dusted me off and he said,
"It's not about how fast you get there,
"but rather the fact that we came and saw."
- I don't know how you remember that stuff.
I can barely remember my mom and dad's birthday.
[Tess chuckling]
- I never actually knew what he meant at the time.
- [Vera] Come on.
- [Tess] Alright, almost there.
- Yeah, you've been saying that for like ever.
Oh, my God, a road. - Road.
Thank you.
[sighing] Alright, where are we eating?
I'm really hungry. [Tess laughing]
What was that?
- What was what?
- There's something out there, Tess.
- You mean someone?
- Whatever, no.
Tess. [leaves cracking]
- See?
- Hey.
Hey, come on out.
Oh.
- No.
No.
Tess, no.
No.
Tess?
I don't play well with others.
- This is like the coolest car ever.
I really, really, really like this car
because of it's like really comfy seats,
and it has really high ceilings,
and, and the car is like really pretty everywhere.
- We get it, you like the car.
- Do you guys like dinosaurs because me,
I love dinosaurs.
- Really? We couldn't tell
by that Halloween costume you're wearing.
- Oh, what's that? - Ow, what?
- So where are you headed, Noah?
- Yeah, where are you headed, Noah, Jurassic Park?
- What, does, does that exist?
- Good God.
- No, he does, he definitely exists.
- You know, really, where are you headed?
- I am headed to the Prehistoric Forest,
where all the dinosaurs are, uh-huh.
- So this is really happening right now?
This is a real thing?
- What's the Prehistoric Forest?
- Well, you've never been to the Prehistoric Forest?
Well, it's so pretty, you gotta go.
It, it has really, really old plants
and really, really, really pretty trees,
and all the trees have these really long arms on 'em,
and on the arms, on the arms,
there's a lot of moss everywhere.
- [chuckling] This place is pretty special to you, huh?
- Yeah, it's really, it's really special to me.
- And why is that exactly?
- Well, because there's like--
- Dinosaurs there, of course.
We get it, Jesus.
- Mm-hmm, yep.
There's, there's, there's, the Triceratops,
and there's the Pteranodon,
and there's a big ole Brachiosaurus,
and there's a Lystrosaurus, too, and it's so cool.
You're gonna love it. [chuckling]
- I blame you for this.
- He's adorable.
- They're so big, you don't even know,
you're so tiny and they're just so big.
- I need a drink.
- Mm, I gotta drink, too,
and I would like a root beer float. [chuckling]
I'm hungry, can we get some food?
Maybe like some chicken fingers,
or, ooh, let's get some french fries.
[waves crashing]
- Alright, I'm gonna stretch. - Let's go, come on!
It's gonna be amazing.
[Tess laughing]
Do you think they'll have tables for us?
We're here.
[pills rattling]
You don't have to eat any, Charlie.
This is Charlie.
- Hi, Charlie. - Charlie goes
everywhere with me.
He's my best friend.
[growling]
And a big foot, big steps, one by one.
And eats a fry. [growling]
Oh. [laughing] - Mm, yummy.
- He loves it.
Are you and Miss V. like best friends?
- Yep, I'd say she is.
- Like you tell each other everything?
Like, you know, like all the secrets
and all the fun stuff?
- Um, not all the time but some.
- What, only some?
- Mm, mm, no french fries. - Yeah, just some.
- Well, that's not great 'cause I think friends
should tell each other everything, you know?
'Cause that's why they're the best'est.
[Tess chuckling] I used to tell
my mom and dad everything.
- Where are your mom and dad, Noah?
- Ah, they're at the place
with all the dinosaurs and the trees.
- Oh, okay, so you'll get to see 'em then.
- Mm-hmm.
So where are you and Miss V. going? [laughing]
- Ah, we are going to see my brother.
- Well, wait, you have a brother?
- I do. - What, like,
like a real brother?
- Hmm, yep. - Well, like me, like me.
- Yeah, a real boy, just like you.
- I'm a real boy.
I'm a real boy.
- I know you are, silly.
- Charlie, Charlie wants to meet,
Charlie wants to meet your brother,
and then we can all be best friends.
Ah, that would great, wouldn't that be great?
Oh, that would be so great.
D-yow. [chuckling]
Why is Miss V. so mean?
- Mm, you know, I think you should ask her that.
- Mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, no.
- Why, why not?
- Well, I don't now, 'cause I'm,
you know, that would be real mean.
And I don't wanna be mean.
You know, you gotta be nice to all your friends
and all your aunts and uncles
and your grandmother and your grandpa's
and your doctors and your teachers,
you gotta be friends.
- I agree. - I agree, too.
[waves crashing]
- [Tess] Hey.
- Did the little turkey get his fries?
- He did, I think he went through that place's
entire stock of potatoes.
- Well, it's a good thing Idaho's close.
- You doing okay, V?
- I'm fine.
How are you, though?
- I think I'm gonna surf.
- Well, there is an entire ocean here for you. [laughing]
- Map said there's a good place above the harbor to camp.
- Wonderful.
I'm sure our five star accommodations
will be absolutely fantastic.
[sighing]
- Noah wanted to know why you were so mean.
- I'm not mean.
- I don't think you mean to be.
- [Noah] Hey, do fish eat chicken fingers?
'Cause I got some extra.
[Vera sighing]
put that stick in that hole.
And that should be good.
- Alright, you guys can share the tent tonight,
I'll sleep in the car.
I'm gonna try to catch some waves,
I'll be back in a little bit.
You guys will be okay?
- We'll be fine.
Right, Rex?
- Hey, that's a dinosaur.
Ow. - Well be fine.
- [Noah] Bye, Tess.
[waves crashing]
[seagulls squawking]
- Hi. - How ya doing?
- Good, how are you? - Good.
[waves crashing]
- Hey. - Hey.
- [Ono] How was the run?
- Good, yeah, it was pretty good.
- Cool, I thought you left.
- Oh, I came up and wanted to catch the view.
- Yeah, it's really nice. - It was,
It was kinda fun out there. - Yeah, there's a few days
like that. [chuckling]
I'm Ono, by the way.
- I'm Tess.
- Nice to meet you. [laughing] - Mice to meet you, too.
- Whoa, nice board.
- Thank you, yeah.
- Ah, I'm headed up.
Ah, are you up there? - Absolu, yeah, yeah,
actually, I'm going up the trail, too.
Do you mind if I join you? - No, come on, let's do it.
- It'd be cool, yeah. - Sure, yeah.
- Do you need some help?
- Ah, nah, I can, I'm alright.
- Oh, okay. - Thank you, though.
- Oh, no problem. [chuckling]
Check it out.
- Whoa. [Ono chuckling]
- [Ono] Might be able to catch the, ah,
the green flash here in a second.
[Tess chuckling]
You ever seen it before? - Look.
What are those islands called?
- [Ono] I don't know, shark fins.
- Pretty amazing. - Right. [chuckling]
That's a big ass shark though, no, thank you.
Seen more than a few in my time.
So, ah, are you from around here?
- [Tess] No, I'm just visiting.
- Ah, small world. [Tess chuckling]
Where is our surf trip taking you?
- Astoria.
- Oh, that's a pretty place.
- Yeah. [Ono chuckling]
I grew up right around there.
- So you at least know your coastline.
- [chuckling] Yeah, I definitely do.
I had a, I have a grandfather
who used to drive me up the 101 all the time
when I was a kid.
Taught me how to ride one of these.
[Ono chuckling]
He taught me how to fish and crab, camp.
All those things girls just love to do.
- [laughing] Yes, but all things
that are essential to survival, actually.
- Well driven point, sir.
- [chuckling] My father's a sir, I'm anything but.
- [Tess] So what about you, you live around here?
- [Ono] Not really.
- I feel like there's a story behind that.
- [laughing] No, not much of one.
I, ah, I have to keep an open schedule.
- Open schedule?
- Yeah, you know, abide the storm gods,
listen to Poseidon if you will.
- [laughing] Oh, okay.
Alright, so you follow the swell.
- That I do, ma'am.
[Tess laughing] [Ono laughing]
- No, you cannot call me ma'am.
Especially if I cannot call you sir.
- Oh, I apologize.
Deal. [laughing] - Deal. [laughing]
Ma'am, oh, God.
- Sir, excuse me. [Tess laughing]
- Oh, look, Miss V., they're on fire!
Oh, it's so pretty.
- Can you, you're just, you're gonna burn down
the whole damn forest.
That's the second bag you've gone through.
- [Noah] Hey, wait, where's all the chocolate?
- You ate it, oh. - Oh, no, I didn't.
That was Charlie.
Charlie ate it all.
- Are they with you?
- Yeah, they most definitely are.
[Ono laughing] I don't know.
- Ah, well, listen, Tess from Astoria,
it was very nice to meet you.
- Oh, I'm just originally from Astoria,
but I actually live in Santa Cruz.
- Cool.
Well, wherever you are from,
it was nice to meet you. - Yeah, you too.
[Tess laughing] - Maybe I'll see you around.
- Yeah, for sure. - Uh-huh.
- Alright, bye. - [chuckling] Bye.
- Handsome.
- No! - Goddammit.
- What are you guys doing over here?
- Ah, we're eating.
- Told ya, small world.
- [laughing] It is. [laughing]
- Did you go off and get a boyfriend?
- Yeah, I think she went off and got a boyfriend.
- I think she did.
- I think she did, too.
- I did not.
Stop it. - Aw, Tessie.
- Shut up. - Tessie got a boyfriend.
- Have a Smores. - You guys.
- Oh, Jessie's gonna kiss someone.
- Shh. [laughing] - Oh, my God.
[waves crashing]
[birds chirping]
[tablet beeping]
- Oh, hey. - Hi.
- Oh, ho, ho, look at that.
Hey, there ya are. [laughing]
It works.
I'm good, I'm good now, you can go.
Thank you, Bob. [laughing]
Can you believe that, they gave me a male nurse?
A male nurse.
It's like being on death row
and gettin' a spinach salad
for your last meal, blah. [laughing]
Oh, oh look at, wow.
How ya doin?
- Doing good.
- Huh, what?
Oh, look, you got company, huh?
- Yeah, I brought Vera.
- Oh, that's good, that's real good.
I'm happy to know that you got somebody along with ya.
Where, where are ya now?
- Southern Oregon.
Got in last night.
- Oh, now that's a beautiful coastline right?
Rugged.
- I miss you.
[laughing] Ah.
How are you feeling?
- Ah, oh, yeah, yeah.
Right as rain, tough as nails.
Yeah, yeah, I just wanted to, you know,
just check in on ya, see how you're, huh?
[laughing] Yeah, I'm not takin' a bath with you,
that's for sure, Bob.
Get me Gloria. [laughing]
Oh, oh, I love ya, kid.
- Alright, I love you.
I'll talk to you later.
- Bye.
[fire crackling]
- Psst. - Oh, hi.
Oh, my gosh, thank you.
That is so nice. - You're welcome.
- Oh, sit down.
- [Ono] Oh, thanks.
- Oh. - It's good.
- Oh, my gosh, yes. [Ono chuckling]
- So, ah, what are your plans for today?
- Ah, I think we're gonna continue heading up North.
- Cool. - Yeah.
- I was actually thinking of heading up
that direction myself.
- Oh, cool.
- We could caravan, if that's cool?
- Okay, that is what you were getting at,
I'm sorry, oh. - Yeah.
- I mean, if it's cool with the dynamic duo back there.
[Ono laughing] [Tess laughing]
- Ah, yeah, yeah, let me ask 'em.
- Okay, awesome. - Okay?
[zipper squeaking]
- He snores, Tess.
Dinosaur boy snores.
So I didn't sleep at all, 'cause you know, camping.
- Yeah, and I slept great,
and Charlie and I were talking
and we want pancakes. [grunting]
- Are you sure you wanna come with us?
[Ono laughing]
- [Noah] Look at all the waves.
- [Tess] Yes, we're gonna see the boats.
- You guys know each other awhile?
- Long time.
- Why is she out here?
- I think that's a question only she can answer.
- And you?
- I'm just along for the ride.
- Alright.
- I don't know, I mean,
everybody needs someone they can lean on.
I've always been able to lean on Tess.
She's never cracked, never folded.
She's strong.
But I think that even the strongest bridges collapse,
and when that happens, she's gonna need me.
I just hope I can be of some sort of use.
- Well, we can't help others unless we help ourselves first.
- If you hurt her, I'll kill you.
- What?
- Seriously, I will bury you where no one will find you.
- Got it.
- Like bottom of the ocean, weights on the ankles.
Sopranos style, dump ya.
- Understood.
- Good.
Burgers, Tess.
[Ono sighing]
- Come on, Tess.
Tess, come on.
- Okay. - Tess, do you see
that blue one? - I see it.
- Isn't it cool.
Charlie, do you see how tall that is?
It's like your neck.
Reach me, hurry.
[Tess laughing]
- When does he go bye-bye?
- Soon, I think.
I think his parents live pretty close.
- Oh, thank God.
- What is your problem with him, V?
- I don't know, he's annoying.
- Oh, well I think you need to be
a little bit more sensitive.
I mean, look at him.
- Look at that one, it's blue.
Oh. - He's living
in the moment every second of every day.
Don't you envy that?
- No, I haven't really thought about it.
- Well, maybe you should.
- [Vera] Now which one do you like?
- [Noah] That one.
- Oh, me too. - Okay, okay.
You guys ready for this?
- [Noah] What?
Look at that, it's super cool.
- Okay, you guys.
Sentimental time. - Pictures.
- Uh-huh. - I have food
all over my face.
- Oh, we should make funny - Alright, ready?
- faces, can we make funny faces?
- Alright, ready? - Charlie.
- One, two, three. - Ah.
Yay! - Woo.
- Charlie, did you like that/?
I loved it, uh, uh-oh.
Oh, no.
- Oh, my God.
What did you do?
- I'm sorry, Miss V., I'm so sorry.
- Oh, you stupid retard.
God, why are you even here?
Where is your family?
You should just go home.
- Whoa.
[water splashing]
- Oh, my God, Noah.
Noah?
Noah, Noah, come here.
Noah, grab my hand.
Grab my hand.
[water splashing]
What is wrong with you, Vera?
Are, are you okay? [Noah groaning]
- [Noah] It was my fault.
- It's okay. - Why?
- [Tess] It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
[Noah crying] It's okay, it's okay.
It's okay, it's okay, we're gonna get you dry now.
Hey, Noah?
You never told me what your favorite dinosaur is.
- Mm, I don't, I don't think I have one.
- What?
You have to have one.
Everyone has a favorite.
- Really?
Everyone has a favorite? - Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely. - They do?
- Yes.
- Well, well what's your favorite?
- Ah, you know,
it's a tough one, - Mm-hmm.
- but I think I have to say Stegosaurus.
- Oh, oh, that's a good one.
- Right. - Mm-hm.
That's the, that's the one with,
with all the plates on its back
and, and, and the, and the spikes on its tail.
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
I like that one, too.
- So, what is it?
What's your favorite?
- Mm, I don't, I don't know.
Really, I don't.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, a big ole Brontosaurus.
- Ah, that's such a good one. - Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm, it is, it's my favorite one.
- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.
I remember the dinosaurs.
I remember the Pteranodon and the Triceratops
and, and a Brachiosaurus and, ooh, and Pteranodon,
and, ah, a Tyrannosaurus rex.
Oh, we're here, we're here, we're here, Tess.
We're really here, come on.
Hey, gosh, oh my, God, do you guys see that?
It's a Tyrannosaurus rex.
It's a real Tyrannosaurus rex.
I told you guys.
Tess, Tess, look.
Oh, my gosh.
Tess, look.
Look, look.
Tess, come on.
Come on, hurry, Tess.
Hurry.
[laughing] Tess, look.
Mr. Tyrannosaurus rex.
Do you remember me?
It's Noah and Charlie.
I forgot how big you are.
You're so big.
I grew up, do you see how big I am?
Tess, come look.
Come on you guys, hurry.
Come on.
Oh, my gosh.
Tess, look, look, Tess, hurry.
Look, look, look.
Look, there's a Pteranodon.
Do you guys see the Pteranodon?
- Woo. - They, they,
did you know they, they have, they have no teeth?
They're toothless like, like my grandma. [laughing]
Yeah, oh, my God, it's your favorite, Tess
it's a Stegosaurus, you see it?
- One of the armored dinosaurs,
they lived 120 million years ago.
- Ono, did you know this is Tess' favorite dinosaur?
Oh, look its the Dimetrodon.
This one has so many teeth.
Like double layers, just like a shark.
And at one time, it was, it was the biggest meat eater
on land of its time, did you know that?
- No. - Oh, this is the
Triceratops.
It has three, three horns and, and, and
its, its head is, is, is
just almost as big as its body.
It's like 1/3 the size of its body.
- Whoa. - Yeah, it's really big head.
Oh, my gosh, there's, oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh,
this is the, this is the Ankylosaurus.
This one wears armor like, like he's going to war.
And um, and he uses his tail
to hit the other predators [Tess and Ono laughing]
like, and so he's not scared of them.
Oh, this is the bird one.
It's a Diatryma and, um, it's kinda like a seagull.
You guys remember we saw so many seagulls at the beach?
- Yep. - Oh, look at,
look at all this Douglas fir.
Are you happy to be back, Charlie?
Huh, are you happy to be back?
I would sleep here if they'd let me.
I, I would live here.
Guys, hurry, come on.
[gasping] Look, look, it's my favorite.
It's the Brachiosaurus, Tess.
- Yeah. - Do you see it?
Miss V., do you see it?
- Hey, be careful, Noah. - Yeah, I'll be careful.
Hey, do you remember me?
I remember you.
Charlie, do you remember?
Guys, look it's so big.
I forgot how big you are.
Oh, you're so big.
Charlie, Charlie, do you remember your mommy?
Yes, we're gonna go, we're gonna go see 'em.
Do you remember what my Mom and Dad told us?
- Noah?
- [Vera] Noah?
- Mom and Dad were fighting.
And Dad was tired because
he didn't wanna drive anymore.
And then I heard a boom.
[crying]
And I broke my head.
And then we made a splash and Mom
stopped screaming.
Mom and Dad weren't moving.
I couldn't breathe because all of the water.
I don't like water.
And I don't like water.
I don't like water.
Sometimes, sometimes you have to say bye-bye
to the people you love.
So you have to be happy when you're with them.
[crying]
Okay, Charlie, you're gonna stay here, okay?
You're gonna stay with Mommy and Dad.
Bye Charlie.
Bye Mom and Dad.
[Vera crying]
- Hey, are you doing okay?
You don't look so good.
- I'm fine.
- Are you sure?
- [sighing] Can we just please
do something other than a campsite tonight?
Please.
- Yeah.
Yeah, sure, that's fine.
- I just want a bed.
[sighing]
- Oh, yes.
Oh, my gosh, a bed was such a good idea. [laughing]
Are you okay, V?
- I'm just really tired
and thirsty.
- Alright.
I'll let you sleep then.
[Ono sighing]
Hey.
- Hey, hi.
- What are you doing?
- Ah, ooh, um, can we go for a walk?
Like, like take you somewhere?
- Ah, where's Noah?
- He is upstairs.
He is watching reruns of Judge Judy,
and it is not my fault if he finds any adult channels.
[Tess laughing]
- Ah, well, V. needs some rest,
so it might be a good idea to give her some space anyway.
- Okay. - Yeah.
- Cool.
- Where are we going?
- That's a surprise.
- Oh, I hate surprises.
- Well, you're just gonna have to go over that.
[Tess laughing]
Let's go. [chuckling]
- Okay.
- Come on, let's go.
[waves crashing]
So what's it all about, Tess?
You know, what does it all mean?
- I'm not picking up what you're throwing down, Casanova.
[Ono laughing] [Tess laughing]
- This trip, I mean, where does, where does it end?
- I told you before, Astoria.
- Oh, no, I mean, Astoria's your destination,
but where does it end for you?
You know, what are you searching for?
- I didn't really know when I left.
But my grandfather wanted me to come out here.
Wanted me to figure some things out in my life.
- [Ono] So why isn't he here with you?
- [Tess] He's dying.
Yeah, it's just kinda one of the last things he wanted.
- [Ono] For you to go on a road trip?
- No.
I have a brother out here,
and I kinda haven't seen him in awhile.
- How long?
- 18 years.
- Wow. [chuckling]
- Yeah. - If I had not seen
my family every Christmas, it was a problem.
- Hmm.
- So why haven't you seen him?
- I ran away when I was a kid,
and, God, I just haven't had the courage
to face him after that.
And I wasn't really allowed to see him.
It was kinda the only leverage
my mom and stepdad had over me.
They knew how much it would hurt me.
Jesus, why am I telling you this?
- Do you blame yourself then?
You're thinking that maybe you should just
stock away all the terrible things
that happened to make you run away.
You think that maybe
at least you could have protected him
from anything happening to him.
- Yeah.
- That's a hell of thing to carry, Tess.
- It's a hell of an observation to make.
- How old was he when you left?
- Three.
I don't even know if he'd recognize me anymore.
I don't what he's been told.
- So that's your biggest fear then?
- One of them.
- The other is losing your grandfather.
- You're really inside my head right now.
- Sorry, I'm sorry, I don't mean any harm in it.
I just, ah,
I just wanna try and understand you is all.
- What about you?
Hmm?
What about the almighty Ono?
[Ono laughing]
What are you doing out here?
- Ah, I'm just surfing man. [laughing]
[Tess laughing]
Life is about learning from people to better yourself.
To be the best that you can be.
You know? - Mm.
- I like the wave.
I like the people.
I love the stories I get to here.
You know, like take Noah back there, you know?
I mean, tragic, yes, but look at his outlook.
You know, I mean, he could have gone
a million different ways with what happened.
It's just you gotta find the balance to it all.
- It's like walking a tightrope.
- One foot in front of the other.
[Tess chuckling] Or behind. [laughing]
Here we are.
- Oh, wow.
Its beautiful.
I've never seen this one before.
- I've stopped by here a few times.
I've seen a lot of lighthouses,
but nothing quite like this one.
- Why did you bring me here?
- Things like this were meant to stand on their own.
Built to weather all storms.
But as time passes,
it's gonna need help.
Little cracks here and there.
Leaning to one side.
It's not viewed as a weakness, though.
They just carry the stress for too long.
Now it's apparent that they need help,
they can't ask for it.
And you know what?
It's always there.
[waves crashing]
[Ono sighing] - Thanks for the walk.
- Don't mention it.
- You have quite the outlook on life.
- I kinda like it.
- [chuckling] Me too.
I wish I could see things that way.
- Well, you can.
All you have to do is just let go, you know?
[Tess chuckling] Which is the hardest part.
- Yeah. - So.
Listen, ah, Tess,
it's, it's not your fault.
Okay, you can't keep carrying that with you.
[door knob clacking]
V?
[knocking on door]
V, open the door.
- What?
- [Tess] Who are you?
- Mm, you must be the friend.
Hey, your friend is here.
- Oh, hi Tess.
I'm sorry.
[pill container clattering]
- Come on, laby.
We're just trying to
have a good-- [hand whacking against face]
- Get out!
- [Man] Okay, okay, okay.
[door slamming] - You're kidding me, right?
You have to be kidding me, V.
You have to be kidding me right now.
Is this what you want?
You wanna feel numb all the time?
- What are you talking about? - Is that what you want?
You wanna feel like a dead person?
- No. - V?
- You wanna feel death, V?
Is that, is that what you want?
You wanna feel like a dead person?
- What are you doing?
- Is this what you want?
That's what I'm asking you.
- Tess, stop.
- Then what is it?
What is it?
You want attention, is that the attention that you want?
- No. [crying] - Well, what do you
want then?
What is it that makes you feel like
you have to throw your life away?
You tell me right now. - Goddamn it, Tess.
You are my best friend,
but you don't treat me like that.
You act like I'm expendable to you.
Like you can just walk out my life
whenever just like everybody else always has.
And I watch you surf, [crying]
and you are so happy.
And I don't have that. [crying]
I don't have anything.
[Tess crying]
- Tess?
Tess? - What?
- Hey, talk to me.
- Why?
You think talking makes everything magically better?
You think that makes the problem go away?
Newsflash, it doesn't.
In fact, most of the time,
talking does nothing.
- And so what, you wanna know what's better?
- Don't act like you know me.
Stop acting like I'm in a fairytale.
Like I'm some princess.
- I never said you were, Tess.
- Oh, you wanna compare my life to a lighthouse.
What kind of bullshit is that?
Don't act like you know me.
Yeah, I have some guilt.
And you know what, that's fine because I should.
- Tess?
Tess? - No.
I don't want your pity, I don't want your sympathy,
but I'm sure Vera could use some, though.
[door slamming]
[seagulls squawking]
Why do we let ourselves become so hurt by others?
Why do we care how others feel?
Like would be so much more simple
if we just reacted instead of creating a thought process.
Wounds begin to fester,
seep, eventually they burst,
and all the bad stuff,
the stuff no one wants to talk about
comes out.
And why is it so hard to talk about those things?
Those things that are so terrible?
Why do we have to keep doors locked and attics shut?
What's really wrong with letting people in?
Judgment?
Envy?
Jealousy?
Pity?
All things we fear.
Fear.
A word I loathe.
[wind howling]
- Huh, hey, honey.
- Hey, Grandpa.
- How ya doin'?
- I'm fine.
- Ah, you can't lie to me.
- It's nothing, I just...
- Tess, come on.
- It's just really hard, you know?
[crying] And you're not here.
And things pop up, and
I don't know how to deal with them.
Vera, Vera has problems.
[sighing] I don't know.
I just don't know what to do right now.
- Well, be there.
Be there.
Whatever's goin' on,
be a beacon.
- What'd you say?
- You know, like a lighthouse.
Be a beacon for others who are facin' the storm.
You were always good at that.
Even as a little girl.
I love you, honey.
- I really miss you. [waves crashing]
- I think I hear the sea.
[Tess laughing]
Can ya show me?
Can ya just turn it around and let me see it?
Oh.
[waves crashing]
[car engine whirring]
- I need your help.
[fire crackling]
[Tess crying]
[Vera crying]
[fire crackling]
- [Noah] Ampelosaurus. [laughing]
- You wanna help me, buddy?
I'm getting all the words here.
- No, I'm drawing Miss V. a picture.
- Oh, yeah? - See?
- Oh, that's cool.
She's gonna love that.
- Yeah, she's gonna really like it
[Ono laughing] 'cause it's a bunch
of dinosaurs. - Yeah.
- Do you think Miss V. is gonna be okay?
- Yeah, buddy, she'll be fine.
- There's just too much sad right now.
You know, we need smiles.
Miss V. and Tess, they need smiles.
- You know, buddy, they do need smiles.
[Vera moaning]
[Vera crying]
- Tess? [crying]
Tess? [crying]
Tess, please.
[crying]
[birds chirping]
[fire crackling]
[rain pattering]
[Vera sighing]
Hey.
- Hey.
Are you feeling better?
- Better.
- A little better or a lot better?
- A lot better.
- I'm so sorry, V.
- It's okay.
You're a good friend, Tess.
My best.
- You're my best.
- I can't believe I'm about to say this,
but where's Noah?
'Cause I kinda miss his voice.
[Vera chuckling] [Tess chuckling]
- Should we go check?
- Yeah.
- Noah?
Someone wants to say hi to you.
- Tess?
- Noah?
Ono?
Noah?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
No, no, no.
Noah?
- Noah?
- [Tess] No.
- Noah? - Ono?
Where are they?
Oh, God.
- [Noah] Come out, you guys.
Look at me!
[Tess laughing] I'm in the water.
- Oh, my God.
- You did it.
- [Noah] I did it, right?
[Tess laughing]
- Oh, my gosh.
- [Noah] I'm not afraid.
- That's amazing.
- I surfed with Ono.
Did you see me?
- Hey, buddy.
- Did you see me? - I saw you.
Oh, God, I'm so proud of you.
- I'm proud of me, too.
Miss V., Miss V., okay. - I'm proud of you.
- [Noah] I love you, Miss V.
- I love you too, bud.
- Did you guys see me?
Did you see me? - Yeah, buddy.
- Hey, look, look,
smiles, I told you. - Yeah, buddy.
You did it. - Look one smile
and two smiles, three smile, four smile.
- Yeah, buddy, good job.
- [Noah] We have smilers.
[Ono laughing] Yes.
I wanna go back. - Hey, Noah, hey.
- Noah, be careful. - I wanna go back.
[Tess laughing]
- [Vera] Oh, my God.
[Tess laughing]
[Vera sighing]
It's good to be here.
- I'm so happy you're here.
- Me too.
- So, Astoria's only about 15 miles
up the road. - Hey, Miss V.
Miss V., Miss V. - I know.
[Ono chuckling] - Look, I got you a
- Last stop on the - Picture.
- Did you draw that? - trail, I know.
- I drew it myself. - Oh, I don't know about that.
- Do you like it? - Yes.
Here, take this.
- Okay. - Nice.
So, I was thinking that maybe I'd keep Noah with me.
You and Vera can make this last stop by yourselves.
I mean, you know, we'll just hang out down here,
and we can reconnect when you guys come back through.
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Yeah that'd be awesome, we can meet back up.
- Cool, see some lighthouses.
- [laughing] Catch some waves.
- Yeah. - Awesome.
- Okay, cool. - Sounds good.
- Ono? - Yep?
- Take care of him. [Ono chuckling]
- [Ono] You betcha, V.
- Ooh. - I love you, Tess.
- I love you, I'll see you in a couple of days, okay?
- Yeah, I'm gonna see you in a couple days, okay?
- Okay. - Okay.
Just a few more days.
- Mm-hmm. - Just a couple days.
Bye, Miss V.
[Tess laughing] [Vera laughing]
I love you.
I don't have a girlfriend.
She's not my girlfriend. - Yes, you do.
- I used to stop here everyday
after the bus would drop me off.
I never wanted to go home.
- Why, Tess?
- Because my mom invited a monster to come live with us.
I used to walk past each and every house.
Miss Abel lived right here.
My friend Ben lived right there.
The Kopels lived in that green house.
I used to walk down this street and
hope that someone would just
come out and take me away.
That someone would find out what was going on and
take me in.
When I was just a little girl,
I was naive.
My stepdad made me get a paper route when I was 10,
and I'd have to wake up every morning at five,
do the paper route, make it back to the house
to catch the school bus to make it there on time.
I was trying to save up to buy my first surfboard,
and I'd go at then end of each month
and collect the payments.
I should have had enough money
to buy my first board after about six months,
but he'd come and collect most of the money
and say that the family needed it.
When Gramps found out, he had me help out in his garden
to make me feel like I was earning the money back,
and then he just took me to buy my first surfboard.
But I kept on delivering the paper everyday.
Eventually, he started waking up
at the same time as me and coming on routes with me.
On the morning of my 12th birthday,
we delivered the papers and came home.
I'd finished early so I wanted
to get some sleep before school started.
I went into my room,
I laid down and closed my eyes,
I heard my door open,
that's when it all started.
I hate this fucking house.
I need to go do something.
[waves crashing]
I've never wanted to share my past with anyone.
I've always feared judgment,
ridicule, pity.
So when I was younger, I just started,
started writing it all down.
[crying]
Every, every bad memory.
Every, every bad experience.
Everything that he did to me.
I wrote it all down in this book.
Everything that he did to me is in this book.
And I guess we're the only one that'll ever see it.
[crying]
I ran away, V.,
and I left my brother behind.
with a monster.
[crying] I've had nightmare upon nightmare
about what might have happened to him
or what, what might have been done to him.
I escaped and he didn't.
What if he hates me for that?
- Tess and what if he does?
You're here and that's all that matters.
[Tess crying]
- I don't want these memories anymore.
They need to just fly away.
[grunting]
[water splashing]
[waves crashing]
- You ready?
- As ready as I'm ever gonna be.
[Tess sighing]
[knocking on door]