1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,479 I opened the cafe with my friend Boo. 2 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:05,919 Yeah, she's dead now. 3 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:09,840 My sister. - I have two degrees, a husband and a Burberry coat. 4 00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:15,999 - I know what you were doing. - I was watching the news. 5 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,719 - Heard from Dad? - Nope. 6 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:19,999 All right, Dad? 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,159 Dad's way of coping with two motherless daughters 8 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:24,079 was to buy us tickets to feminist lectures, 9 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:26,599 start fucking our godmother and eventually stop calling. 10 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:28,119 It's very valuable, actually. 11 00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,760 - How much? - Thousands. 12 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,359 Can I have it? 13 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:33,759 No. 14 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:34,959 Please don't contact me 15 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:37,399 or turn up at my house drunk in your underwear. 16 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,519 It won't work this time. 17 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:39,560 It will. 18 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,680 I think my period's coming. 19 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,919 OK. 20 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:46,959 Hi. 21 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:49,079 Are you all right? What's happened? Are you hurt? 22 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,920 - No. - Good. 23 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:53,799 Nice haircut. 24 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:54,920 It's better. 25 00:01:58,440 --> 00:01:59,519 Can I come in? 26 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,039 Why didn't you text? 27 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,519 Well, I just thought I'd pop by. 28 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:05,599 - Tell the truth. - I need to speak to Martin. - Martin? 29 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,159 Martin. Martin! - Why on earth would you want to speak to... 30 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:12,279 Martin? - Hello! Hello! My wife in my study! Hello! 31 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:13,759 Give me two. 32 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,959 Gang bangs, Asian, I'd put a tenner on it. 33 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,479 Finished. 34 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,639 Well, hello, you. 35 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,359 She wants to talk to you about something. 36 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:26,199 Well, it must be my lucky day. 37 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:29,240 You said she only likes to talk to people she fancies. 38 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,479 - Can you leave us? - Why? 39 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,240 He's organising your surprise birthday party. 40 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,359 You know I hate sur... 41 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:43,400 OK. 42 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,799 I have a week to organise that now. 43 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,039 Best of luck. 44 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,159 Nice top. 45 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:55,159 Thanks. Do you deal in sculptures as well as paintings and papier mache? 46 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,240 Depends on the quality of the piece. 47 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,359 Fuck me! 48 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,720 - What a pair! - I know, right? 49 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:10,719 Where d'you get this? 50 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:12,399 Just a... 51 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,879 Stole it from a market. 52 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,599 It's quite a piece. 53 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,439 Who's the artist? 54 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,079 Just a... 55 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,439 ...market artist. 56 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,999 If I sell it, I take 10%. Deal? 57 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,119 Deal. 58 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,759 OK, well, 59 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,759 I'll get her photographed now. 60 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,919 Don't tell Claire, please. 61 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:34,199 Or what? 62 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,439 Or I'll... 63 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,079 I'll... 64 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,160 You've got nothing on me, princess. 65 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,120 Or I'll tell her you were watching gang bangs. 66 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:46,360 Please don't do that again. 67 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:51,480 I wasn't, by the way. 68 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,639 Disappointing. 69 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:15,999 Where did you get that? 70 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,199 I brought it with me. 71 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,439 No, you didn't. Give it back. 72 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,239 Tight. 73 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:22,639 Patch things up with Harry? 74 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,519 Yeah, we're... 75 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:25,919 We're engaged, so... 76 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,079 God! What? 77 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:28,679 No, we're not engaged! 78 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,879 No, he's back at the flat packing up all his stuff again. 79 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,679 I'm sorry. 80 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:35,919 He really... 81 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,919 ...used to make you laugh. 82 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,199 He also used to say things like... 83 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,879 You're not like other girls. 84 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,239 You can... 85 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,280 ...keep up. 86 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,439 I like Harry. 87 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:48,760 I liked his songs. 88 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:02,800 I admire how much Harry commits to our break-ups. 89 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,279 I mean, this is a new detail, 90 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,239 but he does usually go the extra mile. 91 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,040 A few times, he's even cleaned the whole flat. 92 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,279 Like it's a crime scene. 93 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,879 I've considered timing a break-up 94 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,119 for when the flat needs a bit of a going over. 95 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,200 I don't think this is working. 96 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,879 What? 97 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,880 But he always leaves... 98 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,199 ...him 99 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,799 to come back for. 100 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,960 Got to think about all the people I can have sex with now. 101 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,919 I'm not obsessed with sex, 102 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,639 I just can't stop thinking about it. 103 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,639 The performance of it. 104 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,559 The awkwardness of it. 105 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,639 The drama of it. 106 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,999 The moment you realise someone wants 107 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,000 your body. 108 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,920 Not so much the feeling of it. 109 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,440 Probably got about 48 hours before Harry comes back. 110 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,120 I should get on it. 111 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,799 I took half an hour trying to look nice 112 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,479 and I ended up looking amazing. 113 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:29,799 Just one of those days. 114 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,519 Gorgeous, fresh-faced, new top, little bit sexy, 115 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,199 on my way to open my cafe and... 116 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,839 God. 117 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:39,159 Yeah, you check me out, chub-chub, 118 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,279 because it's never gonna happen. 119 00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,839 God, he can't believe how attractive I am. 120 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:46,639 Kind of worried I'm going to make a sex offender out of the poor guy. 121 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,879 Here we go. This better be good. Here we go. 122 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,280 Hooker slag. 123 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,320 Oi! 124 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:10,920 Dropped my cucumber. 125 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:17,680 Just dropped my... 126 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,199 Could I get a cheese sandwich to go, please? 127 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:26,240 Sure. 128 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:35,599 That'll be £12.55, please. 129 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,199 London, eh? 130 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,400 Thanks. 131 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:46,120 Where do I recognise her? Is she famous? 132 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:52,719 Boo's death hit the papers. 133 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,399 Local cafe girl gets hit by bike 134 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,439 and a car 135 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,319 and another bike. 136 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,439 No. She... She used to work here. 137 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,280 I'm sorry, I don't have any change. 138 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:17,040 The next man who walks in here is getting ridden to death. 139 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:21,639 - Dad! - Hi. 140 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:22,919 Not ideal. 141 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,039 How are you, 142 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,480 darling? 143 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,199 You busy? 144 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,279 A bit. 145 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:32,720 Well, I won't keep you... 146 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,559 I just wanted to talk about, you know, when you... 147 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,759 When you dropped in the other night. 148 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:43,079 - OK. - I can't help thinking that I... 149 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,639 - We... - Yeah? 150 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,000 I know that we... 151 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,440 ...don't have much of a chance to... 152 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,919 Did you take the sculpture? 153 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:54,080 Did you... 154 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,999 ...take the sculpture? 155 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,040 Did you take it? 156 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,159 No. 157 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,199 What sculpture? 158 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,119 Right, fine, good. 159 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,360 Good, you said no and... 160 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,639 ...that means I can go. 161 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:12,920 All right, great. 162 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,399 Are you ha... Are you healthy? 163 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,599 Hey. Do you do, like, hot organic-y food? 164 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,159 Of course. 165 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,799 What would you like? 166 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,359 - Like, risotto. - Yeah. 167 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,999 Sure. Grab a seat. 168 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,000 Hey. 169 00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:58,759 Hi. 170 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,119 Hey. 171 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,519 It's nice to see you. 172 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:03,879 You, too. 173 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,799 Fucked me up the arse. 174 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,319 What are you getting? 175 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,639 Just these. For my... 176 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,520 ...tiny, bleeding vagina. 177 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:13,679 Hot. 178 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,399 - You? - Stock cubes. 179 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:16,520 Hot. 180 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,079 I hope it's a light flow. 181 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,799 It never is. 182 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,839 It never... 183 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:24,880 ...is. 184 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,039 Listen, 185 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,919 you around later? 186 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,719 Yes, fucking yes, please, yes. 187 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:33,999 Yes. 188 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,240 Cool. 189 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,239 Yes! 190 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,159 I'm so happy with my body now. 191 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,399 I don't have to define myself by how I look 192 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,999 because I've just got a fucking great body. 193 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,239 - Yeah, I can do other stuff now! - That's so great! 194 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,439 Mike wants to start trying for a baby. 195 00:10:57,440 --> 00:10:59,039 - OK. - No... 196 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,959 I can't blow this body on a baby, Steph. 197 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,880 I'm going to have to leave him. 198 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,439 Shit. 199 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:10,959 That is not hygienic. 200 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,199 - Sorry. - Gross. 201 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,879 We're leaving now. 202 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,919 I suppose you should meet Hillary. 203 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,440 Two years ago, I... 204 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,559 OK. The most important thing is, if you don't like it, 205 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:25,079 - we can't take it back, OK? - OK. 206 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,199 Happy birthday. 207 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,799 I'm sorry, I panicked. 208 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,159 As long as I can wear it or eat it, I'm happy. 209 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,999 You can do both of those things. 210 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,799 My God, did you get me a... 211 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,719 - What is this? - I... 212 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,799 - What the... What is... - I don't know. 213 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,839 - What is it? - Something to love. 214 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,960 She's beautiful! 215 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,399 You idiot! 216 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,040 Escape artist. 217 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,279 I don't feel anything about guinea pigs, 218 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:58,519 they're pointless, 219 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,879 but Boo took Hillary very seriously as a gift 220 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:04,200 and, soon, everything became guinea pig-related. 221 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,720 This is an excellent one. 222 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,360 Drink? 223 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,879 Look, I'm sorry about the mess. 224 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:22,959 No problem. 225 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,879 Do you want some prosciutto with that? 226 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,439 So reliable. 227 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,759 Utterly inaccessible. 228 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,439 Relentlessly profound. 229 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:41,479 All he wants is to get you in the bath and ask questions like... 230 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:42,800 What are you afraid of? 231 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,719 And you find yourself saying things like... 232 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,319 I guess... 233 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:50,200 ...losing the currency of youth. 234 00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:55,960 Ask me a question. 235 00:12:57,560 --> 00:13:00,160 When did you realise you were so good looking? 236 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,799 I knew I was different when I was about nine, 237 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,919 but shit got real around 11. 238 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,319 Shit got real? 239 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,879 You know... 240 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,200 Aunts got weird. 241 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:17,039 I have another question. 242 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,080 OK. 243 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:20,640 Do you ever feel lonely? 244 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:24,799 Yeah. 245 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,599 Of course. 246 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,599 Do you? 247 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,760 Never. 248 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,880 Do you want some pineapple? 249 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,440 Yeah. 250 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,640 God, yeah! 251 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:51,879 They're so small! 252 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:54,239 They are so small! 253 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,079 - What? - They're so small! 254 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,639 - So... - Small! 255 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,719 God, they are so fucking tiny! 256 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,039 Yeah, I guess they're... 257 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:06,999 God, they're hardly even there! I mean, what the fuck even are they? 258 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,839 Bit much. 259 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,240 Excuse me! 260 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,520 Yeah! 261 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,039 I'm having a Harry panic. 262 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:21,239 Madame Ovary's telling me to run back to safe place, 263 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:22,919 I can make baby in safe place, 264 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:24,520 but you've got to ride it out. 265 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,160 Mustn't call Ha... 266 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,560 Thanks for coming. 267 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,399 That's OK. 268 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:39,879 Are you OK? 269 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,960 Your message sounded urgent. 270 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:45,839 Were you busy? 271 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,719 - No, I was in the interval... - Cool. 272 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,999 - ...of Cats. - OK. - The musical. 273 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,039 Was it good? 274 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,479 Really good, actually. 275 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:53,520 Really good. 276 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,319 - Sorry for interrupting. - No, that's OK. 277 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,599 I...I got the feeling it wasn't going to end well for the cats, 278 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,400 so probably good to remember them like that before they all... 279 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,279 Sorry... 280 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,320 Are you OK? 281 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,079 Who were you with? 282 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,320 A work friend. 283 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:15,040 A girl. 284 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,560 I... 285 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:27,120 I found this. 286 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,559 Thanks. 287 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,200 I didn't realise I'd left it. 288 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:44,880 Why's your hair wet? 289 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,519 Don't look at me like that. 290 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,639 Like what? Like what? 291 00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,919 Look, I don't want to sound cold or cruel or... You know... 292 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,319 And I don't want to think I'm just off happy at the theatre 293 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:57,679 all the time, either, I'm not, 294 00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,359 but... 295 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,199 I'm not going to... I just... 296 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,759 If this is about us getting back together, I was serious, 297 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,959 this time I'm not just going to come running back. 298 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,280 I really just need some time away from... 299 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:12,599 I'm so glad you called. 300 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,040 I'm so glad you picked up. 301 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,800 I've missed you. 302 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,200 I've missed you. 303 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,360 My gosh, you feel good. 304 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,239 I wish he'd just fuck me. 305 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,199 All he wants to do is make love. 306 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,239 Are you OK? 307 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,360 Yeah, I'm really good. I'm amazing. 308 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,799 He's wasting me. 309 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,879 I was once fucking this guy who would breathe on every thrust... 310 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,359 You're so young! 311 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:46,199 I masturbate about that all the time. 312 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,839 I masturbate a lot these days. 313 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,440 Especially when I'm bored. 314 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,079 Or angry. 315 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,239 Or upset. 316 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,359 Can we just... 317 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:57,959 Or happy. 318 00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,359 Yeah. 319 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,599 Yeah. 320 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:03,880 Amazing. 321 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,719 - Shall I? - No, could you just... 322 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,079 Just stay there. 323 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,079 No, don't. Just... 324 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:17,519 Yeah. 325 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,399 Yes. Just... 326 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:20,999 Just... 327 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,120 God. 328 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,560 Look, I think we should stop masturbating. 329 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,439 And don't say anything yet, I just... 330 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,519 I just think it might help us focus on each other. 331 00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:59,159 You know, be more present. 332 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,160 Really successful couples do it. 333 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,159 I've hidden our vibrators. 334 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,199 Our? 335 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,639 I thought it might be fun. 336 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:09,879 To find them? 337 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,640 No, just to try and not... 338 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:15,039 ...touch ourselves, to try and... 339 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,359 ...save our touches... 340 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:20,239 ...for each other. I mean, what do you think? 341 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,199 Well, I think you're being really sexy. 342 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,759 - Don't! - I'm joking. 343 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,839 I never masturbate. 344 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,920 I don't know how. 345 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,279 Yeah, also, I thought we should try and surprise each other 346 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:37,439 once every day, just a, you know... 347 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,759 A sweet little something, just to keep it... 348 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,039 - You know? - Are you getting this out of a book? 349 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:45,719 I've already planned your first surprise, so... 350 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,440 Don't eat too much before dinner. 351 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,080 See you later. 352 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:59,120 And I will see you later, too. 353 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,559 Hi. 354 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,159 Just thought I'd pop by for some lunch. 355 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,519 Bit weird. 356 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:16,920 Yes, well... 357 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,159 How are you? 358 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,799 Quiet day? 359 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,159 Yeah, I'm fine. 360 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:26,879 You OK? You look stressed. 361 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:28,240 Well, I'm successful, so... 362 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,639 Do you have rye bread? 363 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:35,399 No, but I have some normal bread you can puke up after. 364 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,199 Great. 365 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,479 What do you want on it? 366 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,999 Just tomatoes is fine. 367 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,719 Just tomatoes? 368 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,679 Just a tomato sandwich? 369 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,679 Yes. Is there a problem? 370 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:47,960 No. 371 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,559 Listen, I don't want to know anything about this surprise party, 372 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,519 but, if you could just, 373 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,679 have it at mine this Friday at 7:30, that'd be great. 374 00:19:57,680 --> 00:20:00,239 I can organise it and act surprised 375 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,319 but, if you could just... 376 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,319 Do you know what, why don't I just do it? 377 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,199 I can organise it, do the food, act surprised, 378 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,079 and just take it off your hands. 379 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,039 I mean, I can see that you're busy, so... - OK, if you want. 380 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:15,039 Well, I don't want to, but I think it would be easier for everyone 381 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,479 - if I could just... - OK. 382 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,879 I mean, I've done it, it's done. 383 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,880 It's this Friday at 7:30 at mine. 384 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,000 Great. 385 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,159 How behind are you? 386 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:31,919 If it's money that you need... 387 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,199 I don't need money. 388 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,760 That'll be £25, please. 389 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,000 London... 390 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:42,399 Thanks. 391 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,199 Can't believe that thing's still alive. 392 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,679 Any news on Harry? 393 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,239 Yeah, we're back together. 394 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,680 God, I can't keep up. 395 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,280 Hello! 396 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:05,480 Harry? 397 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,519 Shit. 398 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,999 Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise. 399 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,719 Surprise! 400 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:11,999 It's me! It's me! It's me! 401 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,359 Why would you do that? I thought I was going to get raped! 402 00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:17,199 I'm sorry! Baby, I'm sorry! I thought you wanted a surprise! 403 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:18,519 It was a ninja surprise! 404 00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:19,719 My God, my heart! 405 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,520 I'm shaking so much! My God! 406 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,319 - My God! - - My God! 407 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,279 OK. It's OK. Are you OK? 408 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,719 My God. 409 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,359 Did you have a good day? 410 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:34,839 I did, yeah. Fine, thanks. I'm so sorry. 411 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,879 I'm sorry. I didn't think you were going to react like that. 412 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,399 I'm... 413 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,199 I'm sorry, it was a joke. 414 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,840 It was a good joke. 415 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,759 Jesus. 416 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,839 I thought you'd be later. 417 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,159 My God! 418 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,199 God, sorry! I just had to get that out! 419 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,120 I'm still in shock! I'm still shaking! 420 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,399 That was horrible. 421 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:01,759 It was a surprise. 422 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:02,999 I know. 423 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,119 Thank you. 424 00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:05,320 It's fine. 425 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,279 Shall I go and get us some wine? 426 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:11,640 OK. 427 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,039 I know what you look like! 428 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,399 I know what you took! 429 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,200 That is the last time! 430 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:27,520 Splashed out on a special bottle for a special... 431 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:31,960 Harry? 432 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:35,759 I had to go into the history on my computer 433 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:39,480 to find something I'd seen on the H&M website this morning and... 434 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,759 I don't want to point fingers but... 435 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,719 ...anal, gang bang, 436 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,719 mature, big cock, 437 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,879 small tits, hentai, 438 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,599 Asian, teen, 439 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,559 MILF, big butts, 440 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:54,959 lesbian, gay, 441 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:56,239 facial, fetish, 442 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,119 bukake, young and old, 443 00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:01,199 swallow, rough, voyeur 444 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,520 and public. 445 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,520 Why are you being so sexy? 446 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:12,720 Don't make me hate you. 447 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,600 Loving you's painful enough. 448 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:20,520 OK, sorry... 449 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,559 ...but I really think you should write that down. 450 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,519 I know it's not appropriate but I really think 451 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,559 you should write that down. It's really good... 452 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,559 - I'm not going to write down... - No, I'm serious! 453 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,159 For your songs and stuff. It's perfect! It's poetic yet real. 454 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:34,200 Serious. 455 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,319 Don't... 456 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:47,799 ...make me... 457 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:51,199 - Hate you. - Yeah, I know, thank you. 458 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,200 Loving you is painful... 459 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:57,840 What am I doing? 460 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,199 Look, there's someone at work who loves me. 461 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,039 Well, she told me she loves me and I said we couldn't be together 462 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:06,440 because I had to know. 463 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:09,520 Do you want to be alone? 464 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:15,640 You will never see me again. 465 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:21,479 I'll always love you but I just can't take it any more. 466 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,200 I don't hate you, I'm scared for you. 467 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:28,360 He's going to write that down. 468 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,399 Don't hate you... 469 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:39,440 Scared... 470 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:51,159 I'm going to go pack my things up from the bedroom again, but... 471 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,079 I'm... I'm not going to clean. 472 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,960 It's still in pretty good shape, so... 473 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,879 If I don't see you after that, 474 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:00,920 goodbye. 475 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:12,320 Forever. 476 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:19,960 He'll be back.