1 00:00:00,913 --> 00:00:04,874 Sail by AWOLNATION 2 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,500 I think my period's coming. 3 00:00:58,847 --> 00:00:59,850 Hi. 4 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:02,767 Are you all right? What's happened? Are you hurt? 5 00:01:02,768 --> 00:01:03,849 No. Oh, good. 6 00:01:05,821 --> 00:01:06,836 Nice haircut. 7 00:01:06,837 --> 00:01:07,850 It's better. 8 00:01:11,803 --> 00:01:12,810 Can I come in? 9 00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:14,762 Why didn't you text? 10 00:01:14,763 --> 00:01:15,813 Well, I just thought I'd pop by. 11 00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:18,823 Tell the truth. I need to speak to Martin. Martin? 12 00:01:18,824 --> 00:01:21,781 Martin. Martin! Why on earth would you want to speak to... 13 00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:25,791 Martin? Hello! Hello! My wife in my study! hello! 14 00:01:25,792 --> 00:01:26,839 Give me two. 15 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,860 Gang bangs, Asian, I'd put a tenner on it. 16 00:01:29,861 --> 00:01:31,813 Finished. 17 00:01:31,814 --> 00:01:33,829 Well, hello, you. 18 00:01:35,827 --> 00:01:37,804 She wants to talk to you about something. 19 00:01:37,805 --> 00:01:39,789 Oh, well, it must be my lucky day. 20 00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:42,796 You said she only likes to talk to people she fancies. 21 00:01:43,801 --> 00:01:44,805 Ergh. 22 00:01:44,806 --> 00:01:46,817 Can you leave us? Why? 23 00:01:46,818 --> 00:01:49,798 He's organising your surprise birthday party. 24 00:01:52,776 --> 00:01:56,814 A... You know I hate sur... OK. 25 00:01:58,830 --> 00:02:00,857 I have a week to organise that now. 26 00:02:00,858 --> 00:02:02,778 Best of luck. 27 00:02:02,779 --> 00:02:03,790 Nice top. 28 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:04,795 Ergh. 29 00:02:04,796 --> 00:02:08,795 Thanks. Do you deal in sculptures as well as paintings and papier mache? 30 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,804 Depends on the quality of the piece. 31 00:02:15,812 --> 00:02:17,816 Fuck me! 32 00:02:17,817 --> 00:02:20,856 Hm... What a pair! I know, right? 33 00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:23,856 Where d'you get this? 34 00:02:23,857 --> 00:02:27,871 Oh, just a... Stole it from a market. 35 00:02:27,872 --> 00:02:29,843 It's quite a piece. 36 00:02:29,844 --> 00:02:31,828 Who's the artist? 37 00:02:31,829 --> 00:02:34,831 Just a... ..market artist. 38 00:02:34,832 --> 00:02:36,793 Huh. 39 00:02:36,794 --> 00:02:39,786 If I sell it, I take 10%. Deal? 40 00:02:39,787 --> 00:02:40,799 Deal. 41 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,864 OK, well, I'll get her photographed now. 42 00:02:43,865 --> 00:02:45,880 Don't tell Claire, please. 43 00:02:45,881 --> 00:02:47,809 Or what? 44 00:02:47,810 --> 00:02:50,798 Or I'll... I'll... 45 00:02:50,799 --> 00:02:52,809 You've got nothing on me, princess. 46 00:02:53,844 --> 00:02:56,808 Or I'll tell her you were watching gang bangs. 47 00:02:57,869 --> 00:02:59,832 Please don't do that again. 48 00:03:02,887 --> 00:03:04,845 I wasn't, by the way. 49 00:03:18,844 --> 00:03:19,850 Ergh. 50 00:03:23,882 --> 00:03:25,865 Disappointing. 51 00:03:25,866 --> 00:03:29,803 Erm... Where did you get that? 52 00:03:29,804 --> 00:03:30,825 I brought it with me. 53 00:03:30,826 --> 00:03:32,848 No, you didn't. Give it back. 54 00:03:32,849 --> 00:03:34,828 Tight. 55 00:03:34,829 --> 00:03:35,871 Patch things up with Harry? 56 00:03:35,872 --> 00:03:38,900 Yeah, we're, erm... We're engaged, so... 57 00:03:38,901 --> 00:03:40,814 God! What? 58 00:03:40,815 --> 00:03:41,876 No, we're not engaged! 59 00:03:41,877 --> 00:03:44,899 No, he's back at the flat packing up all his stuff again. 60 00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:45,900 Oh. 61 00:03:45,901 --> 00:03:47,876 I'm sorry. 62 00:03:47,877 --> 00:03:50,901 He really... ..used to make you laugh. 63 00:03:50,902 --> 00:03:53,830 He also used to say things like... 64 00:03:53,831 --> 00:03:54,900 You're not like other girls. 65 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,841 You can... ..keep up. 66 00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:00,857 I like Harry. 67 00:04:00,858 --> 00:04:01,892 I liked his songs. 68 00:04:12,906 --> 00:04:15,902 I admire how much Harry commits to our break-ups. 69 00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:21,848 I mean, this is a new detail, 70 00:04:21,849 --> 00:04:23,846 but he does usually go the extra mile. 71 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:26,829 A few times, he's even cleaned the whole flat. 72 00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:33,851 Like it's a crime scene. 73 00:04:33,852 --> 00:04:34,914 I've considered timing a break-up 74 00:04:34,915 --> 00:04:37,840 for when the flat needs a bit of a going over. 75 00:04:44,876 --> 00:04:46,850 I don't think this is working. 76 00:04:48,909 --> 00:04:50,917 What? 77 00:04:50,918 --> 00:04:53,921 But he always leaves... 78 00:04:58,913 --> 00:05:01,915 ..him to come back for. 79 00:05:01,916 --> 00:05:04,934 Got to think about all the people I can have sex with now. 80 00:05:06,887 --> 00:05:08,927 I'm not obsessed with sex, 81 00:05:08,928 --> 00:05:11,900 I just can't stop thinking about it. 82 00:05:11,901 --> 00:05:13,901 The performance of it. 83 00:05:13,902 --> 00:05:15,893 The awkwardness of it. 84 00:05:15,894 --> 00:05:17,902 The drama of it. 85 00:05:17,903 --> 00:05:23,842 The moment you realise someone wants your body. 86 00:05:24,869 --> 00:05:25,934 Not so much the feeling of it. 87 00:05:28,882 --> 00:05:31,890 Probably got about 48 hours before Harry comes back. 88 00:05:34,848 --> 00:05:35,857 I should get on it. 89 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,927 I took half an hour trying to look nice 90 00:05:38,928 --> 00:05:41,893 and I ended up looking amazing. 91 00:05:41,894 --> 00:05:42,927 Just one of those days. 92 00:05:42,928 --> 00:05:45,902 Gorgeous, fresh-faced, new top, little bit sexy, 93 00:05:45,903 --> 00:05:49,933 on my way to open my cafe and... Oh, God. 94 00:05:49,934 --> 00:05:52,865 Yeah, you check me out, chub-chub, 95 00:05:52,866 --> 00:05:54,880 because it's never gonna happen. 96 00:05:54,881 --> 00:05:56,937 Oh, God, he can't believe how attractive I am. 97 00:05:56,938 --> 00:05:59,919 Kind of worried I'm going to make a sex offender out of the poor guy. 98 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,943 Here we go. This better be good. Here we go. 99 00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:03,884 Hooker slag. 100 00:06:05,862 --> 00:06:06,888 Oi! 101 00:06:20,891 --> 00:06:21,900 Oh. 102 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:23,953 Dropped my cucumber. 103 00:06:29,910 --> 00:06:30,931 Just dropped my... 104 00:06:35,912 --> 00:06:38,887 Erm... Could I get a cheese sandwich to go, please? 105 00:06:38,888 --> 00:06:39,891 Sure. 106 00:06:42,955 --> 00:06:48,928 That'll be, er, £12.55, please. 107 00:06:48,929 --> 00:06:50,888 London, eh? 108 00:06:50,889 --> 00:06:51,910 Thanks. 109 00:06:56,955 --> 00:06:59,887 Where do I recognise her? Is she famous? 110 00:07:04,881 --> 00:07:05,947 Boo's death hit the papers. 111 00:07:05,948 --> 00:07:08,918 Local cafe girl gets hit by bike and a car 112 00:07:08,919 --> 00:07:10,906 and another bike. 113 00:07:10,907 --> 00:07:12,922 Er, no. She, er... She used to work here. 114 00:07:12,923 --> 00:07:13,925 Oh. 115 00:07:16,905 --> 00:07:18,908 I'm sorry, I don't have any change. 116 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:30,889 The next man who walks in here is getting ridden to death. 117 00:07:32,895 --> 00:07:34,947 Dad! Hi. 118 00:07:34,948 --> 00:07:35,975 Not ideal. 119 00:07:35,976 --> 00:07:40,934 Erm... How are you, eh, darling? Erm... 120 00:07:41,966 --> 00:07:43,905 You busy? 121 00:07:43,906 --> 00:07:44,914 A bit. 122 00:07:44,915 --> 00:07:45,960 Well, I won't keep you, er... 123 00:07:47,904 --> 00:07:50,946 I just wanted to talk about, er, you know, when you... 124 00:07:50,947 --> 00:07:52,967 When you dropped in the other night. 125 00:07:52,968 --> 00:07:56,897 OK. I can't help thinking that I... 126 00:07:56,898 --> 00:07:57,954 We, er... Yeah? 127 00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,893 I know that we, er... 128 00:08:00,936 --> 00:08:02,938 ..don't have much of a chance to, er... 129 00:08:04,905 --> 00:08:05,986 Did you take the sculpture? 130 00:08:05,987 --> 00:08:07,904 Did you, erm... 131 00:08:08,934 --> 00:08:10,894 ..take the sculpture? 132 00:08:10,895 --> 00:08:11,900 Did you take it? 133 00:08:14,896 --> 00:08:15,911 No. 134 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:16,915 What sculpture? 135 00:08:16,916 --> 00:08:19,908 Oh, right, fine, good. 136 00:08:19,909 --> 00:08:21,936 Good, you said no and... 137 00:08:22,974 --> 00:08:24,963 ..that means I can go. 138 00:08:24,964 --> 00:08:25,993 All right, great. 139 00:08:27,981 --> 00:08:31,941 Oh... Are you ha... Are you healthy? 140 00:08:36,923 --> 00:08:39,963 Hey. Do you do, like, hot organic-y food? 141 00:08:39,964 --> 00:08:41,920 Of course. 142 00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:42,986 What would you like? 143 00:08:42,987 --> 00:08:45,941 Erm... Like, risotto. Yeah. 144 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,906 Sure. Grab a seat. 145 00:09:08,009 --> 00:09:09,916 Hey. 146 00:09:10,986 --> 00:09:11,989 Hi. 147 00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:13,923 Hey. 148 00:09:13,924 --> 00:09:14,927 Hey. 149 00:09:14,928 --> 00:09:15,969 It's nice to see you. 150 00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:17,003 You, too. 151 00:09:17,004 --> 00:09:18,996 Fucked me up the arse. 152 00:09:18,997 --> 00:09:20,949 What are you getting? 153 00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:22,982 Oh, just these. For my... 154 00:09:22,983 --> 00:09:24,973 ..tiny, bleeding vagina. 155 00:09:25,984 --> 00:09:26,987 Hot. 156 00:09:26,988 --> 00:09:28,959 You? Stock cubes. 157 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:29,974 Hot. 158 00:09:30,977 --> 00:09:32,929 I hope it's a light flow. 159 00:09:32,930 --> 00:09:35,001 Oh, it never is. 160 00:09:35,002 --> 00:09:38,012 It never... ..is. 161 00:09:39,952 --> 00:09:43,018 Listen, er, you around later? 162 00:09:43,019 --> 00:09:46,000 Er... Yes, fucking yes, please, yes. 163 00:09:46,001 --> 00:09:47,925 Yes. 164 00:09:47,926 --> 00:09:48,945 Cool. 165 00:09:48,946 --> 00:09:49,952 Cool. 166 00:09:56,001 --> 00:09:57,952 Yes! 167 00:09:57,953 --> 00:10:00,945 I'm so happy with my body now. 168 00:10:00,946 --> 00:10:02,973 I don't have to define myself by how I look 169 00:10:02,974 --> 00:10:05,931 because I've just got a fucking great body. 170 00:10:05,932 --> 00:10:08,959 Yeah, I can do other stuff now! That's so great! 171 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:10,980 Mike wants to start trying for a baby. 172 00:10:10,981 --> 00:10:12,938 OK. No... 173 00:10:12,939 --> 00:10:15,033 I can't blow this body on a baby, Steph. 174 00:10:15,034 --> 00:10:17,026 I'm going to have to leave him. 175 00:10:18,028 --> 00:10:22,981 THEY SCREAM Oh, shit. Oh. 176 00:10:22,982 --> 00:10:24,035 That is not hygienic. 177 00:10:24,036 --> 00:10:26,958 Sorry. Oh, gross. 178 00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,029 We're leaving now. 179 00:10:28,030 --> 00:10:30,034 I suppose you should meet Hillary. 180 00:10:30,035 --> 00:10:31,987 Two years ago, I... 181 00:10:33,973 --> 00:10:36,000 OK. The most important thing is, if you don't like it, 182 00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:38,950 we can't take it back, OK? OK. 183 00:10:38,951 --> 00:10:39,962 Happy birthday. 184 00:10:39,963 --> 00:10:41,024 I'm sorry, I panicked. 185 00:10:41,025 --> 00:10:43,963 As long as I can wear it or eat it I'm happy. 186 00:10:43,964 --> 00:10:46,944 You can do both of those things. 187 00:10:46,945 --> 00:10:48,027 Oh, my God, did you get me a... 188 00:10:48,028 --> 00:10:50,017 What is this? I... 189 00:10:50,018 --> 00:10:52,029 What the... What is... I don't know. 190 00:10:52,030 --> 00:10:54,030 What is it? Something to love. 191 00:10:54,031 --> 00:10:57,047 She's beautiful! 192 00:10:58,993 --> 00:11:00,990 You idiot! 193 00:11:00,991 --> 00:11:02,957 Escape artist. 194 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,983 I don't feel anything about guinea pigs, 195 00:11:10,984 --> 00:11:12,007 they're pointless, 196 00:11:12,008 --> 00:11:14,045 but Boo took Hillary very seriously as a gift 197 00:11:14,046 --> 00:11:17,980 and, soon, everything became guinea pig-related. 198 00:11:20,977 --> 00:11:23,031 This is an excellent one. 199 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:27,996 Drink? 200 00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:35,051 Look, I'm, er, sorry about the mess. 201 00:11:35,052 --> 00:11:36,056 No problem. 202 00:11:36,057 --> 00:11:39,049 Do you want some prosciutto with that? Mm. 203 00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:42,010 Mm. Mm. 204 00:11:42,011 --> 00:11:43,016 Oh. 205 00:11:47,053 --> 00:11:49,008 So reliable. 206 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:50,043 Utterly inaccessible. 207 00:11:50,044 --> 00:11:52,009 Relentlessly profound. 208 00:11:52,010 --> 00:11:55,017 All he wants is to get you in the bath and ask questions like... 209 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,049 What are you afraid of? 210 00:11:57,061 --> 00:12:00,041 And you find yourself saying things like... 211 00:12:00,042 --> 00:12:03,993 I guess... ..losing the currency of youth. 212 00:12:08,048 --> 00:12:09,069 Ask me a question. 213 00:12:11,029 --> 00:12:13,993 When did you realise you were so good looking? 214 00:12:16,006 --> 00:12:18,057 I knew I was different when I was about nine, 215 00:12:18,058 --> 00:12:20,067 but shit got real around 11. 216 00:12:20,068 --> 00:12:22,007 Shit got real? 217 00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:24,999 You know... Aunts got weird. 218 00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:30,982 I have another question. 219 00:12:33,004 --> 00:12:34,045 Do you ever feel lonely? 220 00:12:36,989 --> 00:12:38,060 Yeah. 221 00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:40,041 Of course. 222 00:12:40,042 --> 00:12:42,041 Do you? 223 00:12:42,042 --> 00:12:43,060 Never. 224 00:12:48,013 --> 00:12:49,075 Do you want some pineapple? 225 00:12:52,026 --> 00:12:53,032 Yeah. 226 00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,055 God, yeah! 227 00:13:04,014 --> 00:13:05,079 Oh, they're so small! 228 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:08,014 They are so small! 229 00:13:08,015 --> 00:13:10,999 What? They're so small! 230 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,056 So... Small! 231 00:13:12,057 --> 00:13:15,065 God, they are so fucking tiny! 232 00:13:15,066 --> 00:13:16,997 Yeah, I guess they're... 233 00:13:16,998 --> 00:13:20,999 Oh, God, they're hardly even there! I mean, what the fuck even are they? 234 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,079 Bit much. 235 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,022 Excuse me! 236 00:13:28,033 --> 00:13:29,051 Oh, yeah! 237 00:13:30,082 --> 00:13:33,002 I'm having a Harry panic. 238 00:13:33,003 --> 00:13:35,024 Madame Ovary's telling me to run back to safe place, 239 00:13:35,025 --> 00:13:36,093 I can make baby in safe place, 240 00:13:36,094 --> 00:13:38,055 but you've got to ride it out. 241 00:13:39,073 --> 00:13:42,021 Mustn't call Ha... 242 00:13:48,049 --> 00:13:49,062 Thanks for coming. 243 00:13:50,089 --> 00:13:52,045 That's OK. 244 00:13:52,046 --> 00:13:53,093 Are you OK? 245 00:13:53,094 --> 00:13:55,105 Your message sounded urgent. 246 00:13:58,060 --> 00:13:59,091 Were you busy? 247 00:13:59,092 --> 00:14:01,083 No, I was in the interval... Oh, cool. 248 00:14:01,084 --> 00:14:04,008 ..of Cats. OK. The musical. 249 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,013 Was it good? 250 00:14:05,014 --> 00:14:06,059 Really good, actually. 251 00:14:06,060 --> 00:14:07,063 Really good. 252 00:14:08,079 --> 00:14:11,043 Sorry for interrupting. No, that's OK. 253 00:14:11,044 --> 00:14:14,075 I, er... I got the feeling it wasn't going to end well for the cats, 254 00:14:14,076 --> 00:14:18,058 so probably good to remember them like that before they all... 255 00:14:19,070 --> 00:14:22,048 Sorry. Erm... Are you OK? 256 00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:25,023 Who were you with? 257 00:14:25,024 --> 00:14:26,049 A work friend. 258 00:14:27,109 --> 00:14:29,023 A girl. 259 00:14:34,024 --> 00:14:35,077 I, erm... 260 00:14:39,097 --> 00:14:41,036 I found this. 261 00:14:47,092 --> 00:14:49,079 Thanks. 262 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,047 I didn't realise I'd left it. 263 00:14:57,087 --> 00:14:58,116 Why's your hair wet? 264 00:15:01,032 --> 00:15:02,081 Don't look at me like that. 265 00:15:02,082 --> 00:15:04,092 Like what? Like what? 266 00:15:04,093 --> 00:15:07,124 Look, I don't want to sound cold or cruel or... You know... 267 00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:10,062 And I don't want to think I'm just off happy at the theatre 268 00:15:10,063 --> 00:15:13,067 all the time, either, I'm not, but 269 00:15:13,068 --> 00:15:15,051 I'm not going to... I just... 270 00:15:15,052 --> 00:15:17,109 If this is about us getting back together, I was serious, 271 00:15:17,110 --> 00:15:19,131 this time I'm not just going to come running back. 272 00:15:19,132 --> 00:15:22,065 I really just need some time away from... 273 00:15:24,087 --> 00:15:26,096 I'm so glad you called. 274 00:15:26,097 --> 00:15:28,043 I'm so glad you picked up. 275 00:15:29,073 --> 00:15:30,119 I've missed you. 276 00:15:33,039 --> 00:15:34,060 I've missed you. 277 00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,078 Oh, my gosh, you feel good. 278 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,064 I wish he'd just fuck me. 279 00:15:42,065 --> 00:15:44,064 All he wants to do is make love. 280 00:15:44,065 --> 00:15:45,065 Are you OK? 281 00:15:45,066 --> 00:15:47,081 Yeah, I'm really good. I'm amazing. 282 00:15:48,103 --> 00:15:50,123 He's wasting me. 283 00:15:50,124 --> 00:15:54,137 I was once fucking this guy who would breathe on every thrust... 284 00:15:54,138 --> 00:15:56,061 You're so young! 285 00:15:56,062 --> 00:15:57,083 You're so young! 286 00:15:57,084 --> 00:16:00,066 I masturbate about that all the time. 287 00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:02,131 I masturbate a lot these days. 288 00:16:02,132 --> 00:16:04,094 Especially when I'm bored. 289 00:16:05,141 --> 00:16:08,056 Or angry. 290 00:16:08,057 --> 00:16:09,073 Or upset. 291 00:16:09,074 --> 00:16:11,145 Can we just... Or happy. 292 00:16:11,146 --> 00:16:13,086 Oh. Yeah. 293 00:16:13,087 --> 00:16:14,122 Ah. 294 00:16:14,123 --> 00:16:16,111 Yeah. 295 00:16:16,112 --> 00:16:17,141 Amazing. 296 00:16:18,148 --> 00:16:23,062 Shall I? No, could you just... Just stay there. 297 00:16:23,063 --> 00:16:24,122 Ah. 298 00:16:24,123 --> 00:16:27,115 No, don't. Just... Ah. 299 00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,148 Yeah. Sh, sh! Ah! 300 00:16:29,149 --> 00:16:31,108 Yeah. 301 00:16:31,109 --> 00:16:36,072 Yes. Just... Ah, just... Ah, God. 302 00:16:38,059 --> 00:16:40,087 Ah! 303 00:16:40,088 --> 00:16:41,123 Oh! 304 00:16:41,124 --> 00:16:43,072 Oh! 305 00:16:43,073 --> 00:16:45,073 Oh! 306 00:16:45,074 --> 00:16:46,107 Ah! 307 00:16:59,074 --> 00:17:01,125 Look, I think we should stop masturbating. 308 00:17:05,104 --> 00:17:08,112 And don't say anything yet, I just... 309 00:17:08,113 --> 00:17:11,125 I just think it might help us focus on each other. 310 00:17:11,126 --> 00:17:13,086 You know, be more present. 311 00:17:13,087 --> 00:17:15,090 Really successful couples do it. 312 00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:20,088 Erm... I've hidden our vibrators. 313 00:17:20,089 --> 00:17:21,093 Our? 314 00:17:21,094 --> 00:17:22,139 I thought it might be fun. 315 00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:23,161 To find them? 316 00:17:23,162 --> 00:17:25,141 No, just to try and not... 317 00:17:26,159 --> 00:17:29,079 ..touch ourselves, to try and... 318 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,112 ..save our touches... 319 00:17:31,113 --> 00:17:34,104 ..for each other. I mean, what do you think? 320 00:17:34,105 --> 00:17:36,100 Well, I think you're being really sexy. 321 00:17:36,101 --> 00:17:39,154 Don't! Oh! I'm joking. 322 00:17:39,155 --> 00:17:41,163 I never masturbate. 323 00:17:41,164 --> 00:17:42,173 I don't know how. 324 00:17:46,101 --> 00:17:49,112 Yeah, also, I thought we should try and surprise each other 325 00:17:49,113 --> 00:17:51,128 once every day, just a, you know... 326 00:17:51,129 --> 00:17:53,161 A sweet little something, just to keep it... 327 00:17:53,162 --> 00:17:56,090 You know? Are you getting this out of a book? 328 00:17:56,091 --> 00:17:59,160 I've already planned your first surprise, so... 329 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:02,133 Don't eat too much before dinner. 330 00:18:07,181 --> 00:18:09,099 See you later. 331 00:18:10,118 --> 00:18:13,106 And I will see you later, too. 332 00:18:22,145 --> 00:18:24,121 Oh. 333 00:18:24,122 --> 00:18:25,149 Hi. 334 00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:28,110 Just thought I'd pop by for some lunch. 335 00:18:28,111 --> 00:18:29,146 Bit weird. 336 00:18:29,147 --> 00:18:30,189 Yes, well... 337 00:18:34,137 --> 00:18:36,113 How are you? 338 00:18:36,114 --> 00:18:37,177 Quiet day? 339 00:18:37,178 --> 00:18:39,113 Yeah, I'm fine. 340 00:18:39,114 --> 00:18:40,188 You OK? You look stressed. 341 00:18:40,189 --> 00:18:42,125 Well, I'm successful, so... 342 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:45,165 Do you have rye bread? 343 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:49,141 No, but I have some normal bread you can puke up after. 344 00:18:49,142 --> 00:18:51,121 Great. 345 00:18:51,122 --> 00:18:52,151 What do you want on it? 346 00:18:52,152 --> 00:18:55,103 Oh, just tomatoes is fine. 347 00:18:55,104 --> 00:18:56,175 Just tomatoes? 348 00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:58,172 Just a tomato sandwich? 349 00:18:58,173 --> 00:19:00,173 Yes. Is there a problem? 350 00:19:00,174 --> 00:19:01,203 No. 351 00:19:03,187 --> 00:19:06,167 Listen, I don't want to know anything about this surprise party, 352 00:19:06,168 --> 00:19:08,159 but, if you could just, erm, 353 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,180 have it at mine this Friday at 7:30, that'd be great. 354 00:19:11,181 --> 00:19:14,133 I can organise it and act surprised 355 00:19:14,134 --> 00:19:16,142 but, if you could just, erm... 356 00:19:16,143 --> 00:19:18,144 Do you know what, why don't I just do it? 357 00:19:18,145 --> 00:19:21,134 I can organise it, do the food, act surprised, 358 00:19:21,135 --> 00:19:23,122 and just take it off your hands. 359 00:19:23,123 --> 00:19:26,120 I mean, I can see that you're busy, so... OK, if you want. 360 00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:29,121 Well, I don't want to, but I think it would be easier for everyone 361 00:19:29,122 --> 00:19:30,164 if I could just... OK. 362 00:19:30,165 --> 00:19:32,205 I mean, I've done it, it's done. 363 00:19:32,206 --> 00:19:34,206 It's this Friday at 7:30 at mine. 364 00:19:35,213 --> 00:19:37,119 Great. 365 00:19:42,199 --> 00:19:44,134 How behind are you? 366 00:19:44,135 --> 00:19:45,213 If it's money that you need... 367 00:19:45,214 --> 00:19:48,141 I don't need money. 368 00:19:48,142 --> 00:19:49,199 That'll be £25, please. 369 00:19:52,179 --> 00:19:54,125 London... 370 00:19:55,136 --> 00:19:56,163 Thanks. 371 00:19:59,177 --> 00:20:02,145 Can't believe that thing's still alive. 372 00:20:02,146 --> 00:20:04,194 Oh, any news on Harry? 373 00:20:04,195 --> 00:20:06,150 Yeah, we're back together. 374 00:20:06,151 --> 00:20:07,196 Oh, God, I can't keep up. 375 00:20:15,138 --> 00:20:16,159 Hello! 376 00:20:18,159 --> 00:20:19,180 Harry? 377 00:20:23,224 --> 00:20:25,204 Oh. 378 00:20:25,205 --> 00:20:27,185 Shit. 379 00:20:27,186 --> 00:20:30,133 Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise. 380 00:21:20,175 --> 00:21:22,222 Surprise! Argh! 381 00:21:22,223 --> 00:21:24,199 Argh! 382 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,152 It's me! It's me! It's me! 383 00:21:26,153 --> 00:21:28,191 Why would you do that? I thought I was going to get raped! 384 00:21:28,192 --> 00:21:31,176 I'm sorry! Baby, I'm sorry! I thought you wanted a surprise! 385 00:21:31,177 --> 00:21:32,207 It was a ninja surprise! 386 00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,228 Oh, my God, my heart! 387 00:21:33,229 --> 00:21:35,209 I'm shaking so much! Oh, my God! 388 00:21:37,225 --> 00:21:40,189 Oh, my God! Oh! Oh, my God! 389 00:21:40,190 --> 00:21:42,185 OK. It's OK. Are you OK? 390 00:21:42,186 --> 00:21:44,230 Oh, my God. 391 00:21:44,231 --> 00:21:46,195 Did you have a good day? 392 00:21:46,196 --> 00:21:48,245 I did, yeah. Fine, thanks. I'm so sorry. 393 00:21:48,246 --> 00:21:51,252 I'm sorry. I didn't think you were going to react like that. 394 00:21:51,253 --> 00:21:55,181 I'm... I'm sorry, it was a joke. 395 00:21:55,182 --> 00:21:56,248 It was a good joke. 396 00:21:59,184 --> 00:22:00,239 Jesus. 397 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:02,248 I thought you'd be later. 398 00:22:02,249 --> 00:22:05,180 Argh! Oh, my God! 399 00:22:05,181 --> 00:22:07,187 Oh, God, sorry! I just had to get that out! 400 00:22:07,188 --> 00:22:09,181 I'm still in shock! I'm still shaking! 401 00:22:13,172 --> 00:22:14,209 That was horrible. 402 00:22:14,210 --> 00:22:15,246 It was a surprise. 403 00:22:15,247 --> 00:22:17,168 I know. 404 00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,180 Thank you. 405 00:22:18,181 --> 00:22:19,203 It's fine. 406 00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:23,201 Shall I go and get us some wine? 407 00:22:31,242 --> 00:22:33,178 I know what you look like! 408 00:22:33,179 --> 00:22:34,216 I know what you took! 409 00:22:34,217 --> 00:22:36,198 That is the last time! 410 00:22:38,249 --> 00:22:41,232 Splashed out on a special bottle for a special... 411 00:22:44,270 --> 00:22:45,276 Harry? 412 00:22:47,191 --> 00:22:49,257 I had to go into the history on my computer 413 00:22:49,258 --> 00:22:53,233 to find something I'd seen on the H&M website this morning and... 414 00:22:54,278 --> 00:22:57,257 I don't want to point fingers but... 415 00:22:57,258 --> 00:23:01,255 ..anal, gang bang, mature, big cock, 416 00:23:01,256 --> 00:23:05,244 small tits, hentai, Asian, teen, 417 00:23:05,245 --> 00:23:10,209 MILF, big butts, lesbian, gay, facial, fetish, 418 00:23:10,210 --> 00:23:15,207 bukake, young and old, swallow, rough, voyeur 419 00:23:15,208 --> 00:23:16,241 and public. 420 00:23:22,199 --> 00:23:23,244 Why are you being so sexy? 421 00:23:25,232 --> 00:23:26,265 Don't make me hate you. 422 00:23:27,281 --> 00:23:29,255 Loving you's painful enough. 423 00:23:33,238 --> 00:23:34,248 OK, sorry... 424 00:23:36,235 --> 00:23:38,253 ..but I really think you should write that down. 425 00:23:38,254 --> 00:23:40,250 I know it's not appropriate but I really think 426 00:23:40,251 --> 00:23:42,254 you should write that down. It's really good... 427 00:23:42,255 --> 00:23:44,255 I'm not going to write down... No, I'm serious! 428 00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:47,218 For your songs and stuff. It's perfect! It's poetic yet real. 429 00:23:47,219 --> 00:23:48,220 Serious. 430 00:23:58,290 --> 00:24:01,282 Don't... ..make me... 431 00:24:01,283 --> 00:24:05,223 Hate you. Yeah, I know, thank you. 432 00:24:05,224 --> 00:24:08,228 Loving you is painful... 433 00:24:10,250 --> 00:24:11,291 What am I doing? 434 00:24:14,212 --> 00:24:16,229 Look, there's someone at work who loves me. 435 00:24:16,230 --> 00:24:19,215 Well, she told me she loves me and I said we couldn't be together 436 00:24:19,216 --> 00:24:20,255 because I had to know. 437 00:24:22,230 --> 00:24:23,264 Do you want to be alone? 438 00:24:28,216 --> 00:24:29,278 You will never see me again. 439 00:24:31,285 --> 00:24:35,261 I'll always love you but I just can't take it any more. 440 00:24:35,262 --> 00:24:38,238 I don't hate you, I'm scared for you. 441 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,254 He's going to write that down. 442 00:24:50,243 --> 00:24:53,265 Don't hate you... Scared... 443 00:25:00,278 --> 00:25:05,239 I'm going to go pack my things up from the bedroom again, but, erm... 444 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:07,232 I'm... I'm not going to clean. 445 00:25:07,233 --> 00:25:08,322 It's still in pretty good shape, so... 446 00:25:11,270 --> 00:25:14,320 If I don't see you after that, goodbye. 447 00:25:22,282 --> 00:25:26,264 Forever. 448 00:25:32,325 --> 00:25:33,330 He'll be back.