1 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,431 I think my period's coming. 2 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:55,839 DOORBELL RINGS 3 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,550 OK... 4 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:01,476 Hi! 5 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,670 Are you all right? What's happened? Are you hurt? 6 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:05,916 - Oh, good. 7 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,999 Nice haircut. - It's better. 8 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:13,715 Can I come in? 9 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,478 Why didn't you text? 10 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:17,079 Well, I just thought I'd pop by. 11 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,030 Tell the truth. 12 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:19,229 I need to speak to Martin. 13 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,111 Martin? 14 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:21,594 Martin. Martin. 15 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:23,280 Why on earth would you want to speak to... 16 00:01:23,331 --> 00:01:24,651 CLAIRE: Martin? - Hello! 17 00:01:24,691 --> 00:01:27,989 Hello! My wife in my study, hello. Give me two. 18 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,554 Gangbangs, Asian. I'd put a tenner on it. 19 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,593 MARTIN SIGHS - Finished. 20 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,157 Well, hello, you. 21 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,237 MARTIN LAUGHS 22 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:38,953 She wants to talk to you about something. 23 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,798 Oh, well, must be my lucky day. 24 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,354 You said she only likes to talk to people she fancies. 25 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,913 THEY LAUGH 26 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:45,756 Ugh. 27 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,871 Can you leave us? - Why? 28 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,434 He's organizing your surprise birthday party. 29 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,549 Er... you know, I hate surp... OK. 30 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,390 I have a week to organise that now. 31 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:03,475 Best of luck. 32 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:04,669 Nice top. 33 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:06,358 Ugh. Thanks. 34 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,677 Do you deal in sculptures as well as paintings and papier-méché? 35 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,030 Depends on the quality of the piece. 36 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,752 Fuck me. 37 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,354 MARTIN: What a pair! 38 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,720 MARTIN LAUGHS - I know, right? 39 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,279 Where'd you get this? 40 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:29,359 Oh, just a... stole it from a market. 41 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,233 Oh. It's quite a piece. Who's the artist? 42 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,153 Just a... market artist. 43 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:37,200 Huh. 44 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,559 If I sell it, I take ten percent. Deal? 45 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:41,749 Deal. 46 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,918 OK. Well, I'll get her photographed now. 47 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,634 Don't tell Claire, please. 48 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:48,909 Or what? 49 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,236 Or I'll... I'II... - MARTIN LAUGHS 50 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,669 You got nothing on me, princess. 51 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,154 SHE LAUGHS 52 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,396 Or I'll tell her you were watching gangbangs. 53 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,032 Please don't do that again. 54 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:05,838 I wasn't, by the way. 55 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,355 Ugh. 56 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:26,919 Disappointing. 57 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:30,112 Erm... Where did you get that? 58 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,639 Oh, I brought it with me. 59 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,432 No, you didn't. Give it back. 60 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,679 Tight. 61 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:37,358 Patch things up with Harry? 62 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,438 Yeah. We're... engaged, so. 63 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,879 God! What? 64 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,593 No, we're not engaged. 65 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,075 No, he's back at the flat, packing up all his stuff again. 66 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,552 Oh. I'm sorry. 67 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,755 He really used to make you laugh. 68 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,677 He also used to say things like... 69 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,552 You're not like other girls. 70 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,750 You can... keep up. 71 00:03:58,800 --> 00:03:59,949 HE SLURPS 72 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,752 I like Harry. I liked his songs. 73 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,989 I admire how much Harry commits to our breakups. 74 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,033 I mean, this is a new detail. 75 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:24,832 But he does usually go the extra mile. 76 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,474 A few times, he's even cleaned the whole flat. 77 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:29,519 HARRY SOBS 78 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,710 Oh God, no. 79 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,752 Like it's a crime scene. 80 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:38,589 I've considered timing a breakup for when the flat needs a bit of a going over. 81 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,276 I don't think this is working. 82 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,435 What? 83 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,512 But he always leaves... 84 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:01,754 him. 85 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,359 To come back for. 86 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:06,233 Got to think about all the people I can have sex with now. 87 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,396 I'm not obsessed with sex. 88 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,716 I just can't stop thinking about it. 89 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,078 The performance of it 90 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,157 the awkwardness of it 91 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,111 the drama of it. 92 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:24,714 The moment you realise someone wants your body. 93 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:27,917 Not so much the feeling of it. 94 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:33,038 Probably got about 48 hours before Harry comes back. 95 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,312 I should get on it. 96 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:40,470 I took half an hour trying to look nice 97 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,955 and I ended up looking amazing! 98 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,399 Just one of those days. 99 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,114 Gorgeous, fresh-faced, new top, little bit sexy 100 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:48,912 on my way to open my café. 101 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,951 And... Oh God. 102 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,150 Yeah, you check me out, chub-chub, 'cause it's never going to happen. 103 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:58,599 Oh God, he can't believe how attractive I am. 104 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,360 Kind of worried I'm going to make a sex offender out of the poor guy. 105 00:06:01,384 --> 00:06:03,356 Here we go. This better be good. Here we go. 106 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,152 MAN COUGHS - Walk of shame! 107 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,120 BIKE BELL RINGS - CYCLIST: Oi! 108 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,917 Oh. - SHE LAUGHS 109 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,394 Dropped my cucumber. 110 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,070 Just dropped my... 111 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,919 Um... Could I get a cheese sandwich to go, please? 112 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,189 Sure. 113 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:49,714 That'll be, um... £12.55, please. 114 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,230 London. 115 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,476 SHE LAUGHS - Thanks. 116 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,233 Why do I recognise her? Is she famous? 117 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,312 Boo's death hit the papers. 118 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:11,194 Local café girl gets hit by bike, and a car, and another bike. 119 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,599 Oh no, she used to work here. - Oh. 120 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:19,838 I'm sorry, I don't have any change. 121 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,678 MAN SIGHS 122 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,352 The next man who walks in here is getting ridden to death. 123 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:34,635 ,_ 124 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:35,795 Hi. 125 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,714 Not ideal. 126 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:41,833 Um... How are you? Darling? 127 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,355 You busy? 128 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:45,950 A bit. 129 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,798 Well, I won't keep you. 130 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:53,716 I just wanted to talk about when you dropped in the other night. 131 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,194 OK. 132 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,517 I can't help thinking that I... we... 133 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,358 Yeah? - I know that we... 134 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,549 don't have much of a chance to... 135 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,957 Did you take the sculpture? Did you um... 136 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:13,032 take the sculpture? Did you take it? 137 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,637 No. What sculpture? 138 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,035 Oh right. Right. Good. 139 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,389 Good. You said, "No," and that... 140 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,755 that means I can go. All right, great. 141 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,595 Phew. 142 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,236 Are you happy? Are you healthy? 143 00:08:33,736 --> 00:08:34,736 DAD: Hmm. 144 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,912 GIRLS CHATTER 145 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,713 Hey. Do you do, like, hot organic-y food? 146 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:42,433 Of course. 147 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,151 What would you like? 148 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,793 Um, I like risotto. - Yeah. 149 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,592 Sure. Grab a seat. 150 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,314 GIRLS CHATTER 151 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:10,560 Hey. 152 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,235 Hi. 153 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,280 Hey. 154 00:09:14,576 --> 00:09:15,576 Hey. 155 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:16,954 It's nice to see you. 156 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,274 You too. 157 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,073 Fucked me up the arse. 158 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:21,440 What are you getting? 159 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,189 Oh, just these. 160 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,993 For my tiny, bleeding vagina. 161 00:09:27,056 --> 00:09:28,056 Hot. 162 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:28,797 You? 163 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:29,875 Stock cubes. 164 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,194 Hot. 165 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,558 Hope it's a light flow. 166 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:34,670 Oh. - SHE LAUGHS 167 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,233 It never is. 168 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,315 It never... is. 169 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,719 Listen, you around later? 170 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:45,755 Er... 171 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,120 Yes, fucking yes please, yes. 172 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:48,514 Yes. 173 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:49,595 Cool. 174 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:51,677 Cool. Bye. 175 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,634 Yes! 176 00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:01,320 YOGA GIRL 1: I'm so happy with my body now. 177 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,269 Like, I don't have to define myself by how I look 178 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,152 'cause I've just got a fucking great body! 179 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:06,996 YOGA GIRL 2: Yeah. 180 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,856 YOGA GIRL 1: Yeah! I can like, do other stuff now. 181 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:09,836 YOGA GIRL 2: That's so great! 182 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,917 YOGA GIRL 1: Mike wants to start trying for a baby. 183 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:12,756 OK? 184 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:16,156 No... I can't blow this body on a baby, Steph. 185 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,396 I'm going to have to leave him. 186 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:19,874 SHE LAUGHS 187 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,240 What the fuck? 188 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,951 FLEABAG: Oh, shit. 189 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,320 YOGA GIRL 1: That is not hygienic. 190 00:10:25,344 --> 00:10:26,520 Sorry. 191 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,995 Oh, gross! We're leaving now. 192 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,438 I suppose you should meet Hilary. 193 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:32,914 Two years ago, I... 194 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,234 OK, the most important thing is 195 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:38,160 if you don't like it, we can't take it back, OK? 196 00:10:38,184 --> 00:10:39,184 OK. 197 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,439 Happy birthday. I'm sorry, I panicked. 198 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,915 As long as I can wear it or eat it, I'm happy. 199 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,837 You can do both of those things. 200 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,229 Oh my God! Did you get me a... What is this? 201 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:51,509 I... - SHE LAUGHS 202 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,437 What is...? - I don't know! 203 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,391 What is it? - Something to love? 204 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,795 She's beautiful! 205 00:10:57,840 --> 00:10:59,478 THEY LAUGH 206 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,158 Thank you, you idiot. 207 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,077 FLEABAG: Escape artist. 208 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,993 I don't feel anything about guinea pigs, they're pointless. 209 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,475 But Boo took Hilary very seriously as a gift 210 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:19,195 and soon everything became guinea pig related. 211 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,593 This is an excellent one. 212 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:29,035 Drink? 213 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,549 SLOW JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS 214 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,355 Look, I'm sorry about the mess. 215 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,435 No problem. 216 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:38,960 Do you want some prosciutto with that? 217 00:11:38,984 --> 00:11:40,054 Mmm. 218 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,158 He's so reliable. 219 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,079 Utterly inaccessible and relentlessly profound. 220 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,033 All he wants is to get you in the bath and ask questions like... 221 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,514 What are you afraid of? 222 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,716 And you find yourself saying things like... 223 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,991 I guess, losing the currency of youth. 224 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,238 Ask me a question. 225 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,350 When did you realise you were so good-looking? 226 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,269 I knew I was different when I was about nine. 227 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,197 But shit got real around 11. 228 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,833 Shit got real? 229 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:26,191 You know. Aunts got weird. 230 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,912 I have another question. 231 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,273 OK. 232 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,358 Do you ever feel lonely? 233 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,314 Yeah. Of course. 234 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,389 Do you? 235 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,319 Never. 236 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,353 Do you want some pineapple? 237 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,074 Yeah. 238 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,478 God! Yeah! 239 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:08,640 Oh, they're so small. You are so small! 240 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:09,750 What? 241 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,120 They're so small. 242 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,230 So... 243 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:16,353 Small. God, they are so fucking tiny. 244 00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:17,754 Yeah, I guess they're... 245 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:21,191 God, they're hardly even there! I mean, what the fuck even are they? 246 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:22,913 Bit much. 247 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,754 Excuse me. 248 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,634 Oh yeah. 249 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,954 I'm having a Harry panic. 250 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,160 Madame Ovary is telling me to run back to safe place. 251 00:13:36,202 --> 00:13:37,402 I can make baby in safe place. 252 00:13:37,426 --> 00:13:38,942 But... got to ride it out. 253 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,675 Mustn't... call... Ha... 254 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:50,672 Thanks for coming. 255 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:52,834 That's OK. 256 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:54,474 Are you OK? 257 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,670 Your message sounded urgent. 258 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,235 Were you busy? 259 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:01,759 No, I was in the interval... 260 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:02,870 Oh cool. Of Cats. 261 00:14:02,920 --> 00:14:04,797 OK. - The musical. 262 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,117 Was it good? - Really good actually. Really good. 263 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,639 Sorry for interrupting. 264 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,000 No, that's OK. 265 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:15,271 I got the feeling it wasn't going to end well for the cats 266 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:19,314 so, I mean, probably good to remember them like that, before they all... 267 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,920 Sorry. Are you OK? 268 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:25,640 Who were you with? 269 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,273 A work friend. 270 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,595 A girl. 271 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:36,558 Urn... 272 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,198 I found this. 273 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,519 Thanks. 274 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,593 I didn't realise I'd left it. 275 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,359 Why is your hair wet? 276 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:02,959 Don't look at me like that. 277 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,752 Like what? Like what? 278 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,077 Look, I don't want to sound cold or cruel or... 279 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:11,440 and I don't want you to think I'm just off happy at the theater all the time either. 280 00:15:11,464 --> 00:15:12,395 I'm not. 281 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:15,432 But... I'm not going to... I just... 282 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,430 If this is about us getting back together, I was serious. 283 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,596 This time, I'm not just going to come running back. 284 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,438 I really just need some time away from... 285 00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,117 I'm so glad you called. 286 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,992 I'm so glad you picked up. 287 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,798 I've missed you. 288 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,513 I've missed you. 289 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,476 Oh my gosh, you feel good. 290 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,837 I wish he'd just fuck me. 291 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:44,996 All he wants to do is make love. 292 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:48,317 Are you OK? - Yeah, I'm really good. I'm amazing. 293 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,277 He's wasting me. 294 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:55,473 I was once fucking this guy who would breathe on every thrust. 295 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,875 You're so young! You're so young! 296 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,116 I masturbate about that all the time. 297 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,717 Masturbate a lot these days. 298 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,516 Especially when I'm bored. 299 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,272 Or angry. 300 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:09,629 Or upset. 301 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,034 Can we just... 302 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:12,559 Or happy. 303 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:16,559 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 304 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:18,954 Amazing. 305 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,035 Yeah. 306 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,516 Shall I... - No, could you just... just stay there. 307 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,837 Oh, just don't... Yeah, no, don't. Just... 308 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,038 Yeah, ssh. 309 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,074 Yeah. 310 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:35,359 Yes, just... oh, just... 311 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:36,913 Oh God. 312 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,471 SHE MOANS 313 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,351 I think we should stop masturbating. 314 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,718 No, don't say anything yet. 315 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:12,038 I just think it might help us focus on each other 316 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:13,957 you know, be more present. 317 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,196 Really successful couples do it, you know. 318 00:17:18,136 --> 00:17:19,136 Um... 319 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:20,389 I've hidden our vibrators. 320 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,440 Our? 321 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,039 I thought it might be fun. 322 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,275 To find them? 323 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:26,357 No. Just to try and not... 324 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,279 touch ourselves. 325 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:33,235 To try and save our touches for each other. 326 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,315 What do you think? 327 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:36,715 Well, I think you're being really sexy. 328 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:37,989 Don't! 329 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,838 Ooh, I'm joking! 330 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:43,750 I never masturbate. I don't know how. 331 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,036 Yeah, also, I thought we should try and surprise each other 332 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,195 once every day. 333 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,390 Just a, you know, sweet little something 334 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,158 just to keep it, you know... 335 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,713 Are you getting this out of a book? 336 00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,274 I've already planned your first surprise, so... 337 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:03,193 don't eat too much before dinner. 338 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:10,033 See you later. 339 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,839 And I will see you later, too. 340 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,355 FLEABAG: Oh! 341 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:25,869 Hi. 342 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:28,594 Just thought I'd pop by for some lunch. 343 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:29,914 Bit weird. 344 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,917 Yes. Well. 345 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,678 How are you? Quiet day? 346 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,951 Yeah, I'm fine. You OK? You look stressed. 347 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,116 Well, I'm successful, so. 348 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,114 Do you have rye bread? 349 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,391 Er, no. But I have some normal bread you can puke up after. 350 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,234 Great. 351 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,469 What do you want on it? 352 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:54,669 Oh, just tomatoes is fine. 353 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,159 Just tomatoes? 354 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,952 Just a tomato sandwich? 355 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,150 Yes. There a problem? 356 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,349 No. 357 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,960 Listen, I don't want to know anything about this surprise party. 358 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,995 But if you could just... have it at mine, this Friday at 7.30, that'd be great. 359 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:16,398 I can organise it and act surprised, but if you could just... 360 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,829 Do you know what? Why don't I just do it? 361 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,838 I can organise it, do the food, act surprised 362 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,837 and just... take it off your hands. 363 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,440 I mean, I can see that you're busy, so. 364 00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:26,794 OK. If you want. 365 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:30,515 Well, I don't want to, but I think it'd be easier for everyone if I could just... 366 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:31,630 OK. 367 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:35,594 I mean, I've done it. It's done. It's this Friday at 7.30, at mine. 368 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:37,880 Great. 369 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,712 How behind are you? If it's money that you need... 370 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,080 I don't need money. 371 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,671 That'll be £25, please. 372 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,429 London. 373 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,080 Thanks. 374 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,640 Can't believe that thing's still alive. 375 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,150 Oh, um... any news on Harry? 376 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,474 Yeah, we're back together. 377 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,477 Oh God. I can't keep up. 378 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,074 Hello? 379 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,479 Harry? 380 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,593 Oh... Shit! 381 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,475 Surprise, surprise, surprise... 382 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,276 Surprise! - HARRY SCREAMS 383 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,559 It's me! It's me! It's me! It's me! 384 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,910 Why would you do that? I thought I was going to get raped! 385 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,110 I'm sorry! I just... Baby, I'm sorry. 386 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,400 I thought you wanted a surprise. It was a ninja surprise. 387 00:21:33,424 --> 00:21:35,589 Oh my God, my heart. I'm shaking so much. Oh my God. 388 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,995 HE BREATHES HEAVILY 389 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:39,514 Oh my God! 390 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,073 Oh... - Oh my God. 391 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:43,236 OK. It's OK. Are you OK? 392 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:44,839 Oh my God. 393 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,120 Did you have a good day? - I did, yeah. It was fine, thanks. 394 00:21:48,144 --> 00:21:50,879 Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't think... 395 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,639 I didn't think you were going to react like that. I... 396 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,469 I'm sorry, it was a joke. 397 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,593 It was a good joke. 398 00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:01,149 Jesus. 399 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,157 I thought you'd be later. 400 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,634 Yeah, I... - HARRY SCREAMS 401 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:05,875 Oh my God! 402 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,355 Oh, God, sorry, Ijust... I think I'm still in shock. 403 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,079 That was horrible. 404 00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:16,633 It was a surprise. 405 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,752 I know. Thank you. It's fine. 406 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:23,958 Shall I go and get us some wine? 407 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:26,235 OK. 408 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,920 I know what you look like! I know what you took! 409 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,837 That is the last time! 410 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,869 Splashed out on a special bottle for a special... 411 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:46,555 Harry? 412 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,399 Had to go into the history on my computer 413 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,831 to find something I'd seen on the H&M website this morning, and... 414 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,279 I don't want to point fingers, but... 415 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:03,633 anal, gangbang, mature, big cock, small tits 416 00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:09,517 hentai, Asian, teen, MILF, big butts, lesbian, gay 417 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:12,791 facial, fetish, bukakke, young and old 418 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:17,073 swallow, rough, voyeur, and public. 419 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,636 Why are you being so sexy? 420 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,871 Don't make me hate you. 421 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,591 Loving you is painful enough. 422 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:35,553 OK, sorry. 423 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,150 But I really think you should write that down. 424 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,496 I know it's not appropriate, but I really think you should write that down. 425 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,920 It's really good for a line. - I'm not going to write down... 426 00:23:43,969 --> 00:23:45,769 No, no, I'm serious! For your songs and stuff. 427 00:23:45,793 --> 00:23:48,660 It's perfect. It's poetic, yet real. Serious. 428 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,433 Don't make me... 429 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,710 Hate you. - Yeah, I know! Thank you! 430 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,993 Loving you is painful... 431 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,032 What am I doing? 432 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,920 There's someone at work who loves me. 433 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,560 Well, she told me she loves me, and I said we couldn't be together 434 00:24:19,584 --> 00:24:21,461 because I had to know. 435 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,313 Do you want to be alone? 436 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,113 You will never see me again. 437 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,431 I'll always love you, but I just can't take it anymore. 438 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:39,032 I don't hate you, I'm scared for you. 439 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,038 He's going to write that down. 440 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,792 I don't hate you... scared. 441 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,875 I'm going to go pack my things up from the bedroom again. But... 442 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:07,672 I'm not going to clean. 443 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:10,109 It's still in pretty good shape, so. 444 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,596 If I don't see you after that, goodbye. 445 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:26,920 Forever. 446 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:34,954 He'll be back.