1 00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:43,308 I guess what I'm having a little bit of trouble with here 2 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,210 is how you could have done something like this 3 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:46,478 in the first place. 4 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,847 I mean, please, help me understand 5 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:51,683 what was going through your minds at the time. 6 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,886 We weren't paying attention. 7 00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:55,988 And I know I speak for us both when I say that 8 00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:58,757 if I had it to do over again, I would absolutely 9 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,426 do things differently. 10 00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,394 I would be much more aware. 11 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:05,497 Because you got caught, or because you feel ashamed? 12 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,266 I feel ashamed. 13 00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:09,535 I'm ashamed of my behavior, 14 00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:11,170 and I am deeply, deeply sorry. 15 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,038 Yeah, we were all gonna go to kylynn's after work, 16 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,339 if you want to come. 17 00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:15,908 Me, too. 18 00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:18,944 I mean, you can invite her, if you want. 19 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,712 I'm just kind of over her right now. 20 00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,849 Well, she's just been kind of like 21 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:26,118 a really bad friend to all our other friends, you know? 22 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,087 I mean, she got 15 downvotes last week, 23 00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:29,922 so that tells you something. 24 00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:32,858 That's about all the time we have for Lewis and tom, 25 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:35,227 so, please, don't forget to cast your votes now. 26 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:38,197 You have the breakfast show on? 27 00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,132 Yeah, but I missed the first part... what did they do? 28 00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:42,401 - ...or Sincere. - Mm. 29 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,369 That one guy has really weird eyes. 30 00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:48,607 Mm, I don't know, he just seems kind of shady. 31 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,377 Yeah, I was gonna wear the blue one, 32 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:54,213 but then I totally forgot I let jessala borrow it, 33 00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,381 and now she's out of town. 34 00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:59,985 I know, right? Bitch. 35 00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:03,322 She is so getting a downvote when she gets back. 36 00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:37,089 Hey! Hey! 37 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:57,176 Final vote has begun. 38 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,135 Man, it does look a lot like earth. 39 00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:31,803 In more ways than one. 40 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,106 With all the different planets in the galaxy, 41 00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:36,908 you're bound to have a few cases of parallel species development. 42 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,611 Sargas four is an acute example of this phenomenon. 43 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:43,582 Union cultural anthropologists believe it bears 44 00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:46,251 remarkable similarities to your 21st century earth. 45 00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:48,120 So, like, I could go down there 46 00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:49,821 and get, like, a manwich? 47 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,890 Nobody's going down there except the landing team. 48 00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:54,126 How long have the researchers been unaccounted for? 49 00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:55,961 Over a month. 50 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,629 Their last report indicated they'd had 51 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,965 some success integrating into the culture. 52 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:02,267 They even sent back some really interesting images. 53 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,269 And then, suddenly, nothing. 54 00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:05,771 Radio silence. 55 00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:07,472 Could just be equipment malfunction. 56 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:10,275 - Communications failure. - Maybe. 57 00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:12,010 I'm gonna go check on the landing team. 58 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,146 - Bortus, you have the conn. - Aye, sir. 59 00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:24,122 This is ridiculous, man. 60 00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:26,525 How the hell is anybody supposed to walk around in these things? 61 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,027 I don't know, John, I think you look good in skinny jeans. 62 00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:30,295 If I wanted to scratch my balls right now, 63 00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:31,863 I would have to reach in my back pocket. 64 00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,432 Yeah, well, at least your pants are whole. 65 00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:35,967 Commander, I look ridiculous. 66 00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:37,302 You want to go down there with that forehead? 67 00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:39,137 Well, no, but... 68 00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,106 Okay, let's see what else is in the file. 69 00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:44,976 We don't have a lot of specific information on this society. 70 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,946 Traditional sargas four headwear, various styles. 71 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:50,882 Here. 72 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,852 There you go. That's better. 73 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:59,024 John, what do you think? 74 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,859 I dig it. I like the whole thing. 75 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,794 If Andy got a look at you right now, 76 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,062 he'd be kickin' himself for dumpin' you. 77 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,431 I dumped him, let's be clear about that. 78 00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:11,970 My god, you guys look like unemployed backup dancers. 79 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,505 You want to lead this landing party? 80 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,841 No, I'm too shy to wear a crop top. 81 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,008 Don't forget this. 82 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,144 Sargas four is a capitalist culture. 83 00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:20,645 What is it? 84 00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,814 - It's money. - What do you do with it? 85 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,750 You give it to people, and they give you stuff, 86 00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:27,152 - or they do stuff. - That's weird. 87 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:28,920 There's gonna be a lot of weird surprises down there, 88 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,355 so everyone's gonna have to stay alert. 89 00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:34,059 Claire... I'm sure Lewis is fine. 90 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,661 It's probably just faulty communications. 91 00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,764 I appreciate that, captain. 92 00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:41,099 Lewis and I worked together a long time ago, 93 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:44,836 but I always remember him being very resourceful. 94 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:45,937 I know he's okay. 95 00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,939 All right. 96 00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,908 Now, remember, you go in, 97 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,910 you locate the anthropologists, you bring 'em back. 98 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:54,012 You leave as tiny a footprint as you can on that society. 99 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,747 No interference. 100 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,183 If, god forbid, something's happened to our people, 101 00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:01,853 you get out of there fast, you report back here. Understood? 102 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,789 - Okay. - All right, good luck. 103 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,025 Oh, and, alara, 104 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,794 do something about that nose, will you? 105 00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:12,030 Aye, sir. 106 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,484 Why are you sitting like that? 107 00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:34,386 It's these friggin' jeans. 108 00:07:34,388 --> 00:07:37,088 If I leaned back right now, I'd give myself a vasectomy. 109 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,990 Engage cloak. 110 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,325 Engaging cloak. 111 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,920 Hey, jerris. Good to see you back. 112 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,522 Oh, thanks, man. 113 00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:12,591 I think that was probably the worst flu I ever had. 114 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:15,160 Well, hey, looks like you lost a few pounds. 115 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,696 You know, I'll take it. 116 00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,464 Oh, look at that. 117 00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,132 How nice is your grandma, huh? 118 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,167 How much does she love you? 119 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,935 Thank you, grandma. 120 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:26,805 Oh, you are so welcome, dear one. 121 00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,707 What do you give to grandma? 122 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,942 - Thank you, honey. - Aw, good girl. 123 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,244 That's it. 124 00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:36,615 - Oh! - Watch it, dude! 125 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,084 I'm really sorry. I wasn't looking. 126 00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:50,061 Look at this place. 127 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:53,698 My god, it's incredible how similar it is to old earth. 128 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,500 Yeah, maybe there's a "bustin jieber" 129 00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:57,068 walkin' around somewhere. 130 00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:58,370 Grayson to Orville. 131 00:08:58,372 --> 00:08:59,504 Orville here. 132 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:01,573 - You reading me? - Loud and clear. 133 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:04,042 Good. We'll stay on this frequency and contact you 134 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,044 when we have an update. Grayson out. 135 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,245 All right, here you go. 136 00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,214 Have a good day. 137 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,350 - Hi. Yeah, hi. - Can I help you? 138 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,753 We were wondering, if by any chance, you've seen 139 00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,755 either of these two men. 140 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:17,822 What's this, a joke? 141 00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:19,591 No, it's not. 142 00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:20,592 Do you know them? 143 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:22,661 Yeah, I know who they are. 144 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,229 Do you know where we can find them? 145 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,998 Well, they used to hang out at the cafe up the street. 146 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,100 Hey, where are your badges? 147 00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:32,337 We're not police officers, if that's what you're asking. 148 00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,005 Well, you sure as hell are gonna get arrested 149 00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,106 without your badges. 150 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:37,609 Mine broke, so I figured I'd wait 151 00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:38,944 for the new version to come out. 152 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,545 Actually, we lost them. 153 00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:42,414 I can sell you a set of four, 154 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,849 all pre-loaded with 200,000 upvotes. 155 00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:47,552 That's... that's great, thanks. 156 00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,387 They're all odd numbers, with a couple of downvotes included, 157 00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:51,456 so it doesn't seem fake. 158 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,760 40 lods. 159 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,129 - I'm sorry? - Come on! 160 00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:01,933 - The money. - Oh. Oh, right. Sorry. 161 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:05,036 Um... 162 00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,905 - Now, about the two men. - Go on, 163 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,940 get the hell outta here... You want to get me busted? 164 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,710 Come on, let's go check out the cafe. 165 00:10:13,412 --> 00:10:15,146 What are these things? 166 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,815 I don't know, but everybody's wearing 'em. 167 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:17,816 Look around you. 168 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,117 Hey, alara, 169 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,052 maybe you can find a guy here, huh? 170 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:23,655 Brand-new planet, nobody knows your dating history. 171 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,156 What the hell does that mean? 172 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,825 Nothin'. It's just that you've gone through 173 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,460 two guys in two months. 174 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,795 Well, I told you, it's just really hard to find a guy 175 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,931 who doesn't get insecure about my abilities. 176 00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:35,400 Is that the only reason you dumped Andy? 177 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:38,970 Mostly, but also... 178 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,105 He danced weird. 179 00:10:40,107 --> 00:10:41,806 - What? - Weird how? 180 00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,008 Too grindy. 181 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,175 A little grindy can be good. 182 00:10:44,177 --> 00:10:46,111 Yeah, but this was really grindy. 183 00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:48,513 Wait, what's-what's too grindy? 184 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:50,615 Right, like, is-is this too grindy? 185 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:51,783 What the hell are you doing? 186 00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:52,917 Is this too grindy 187 00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,519 or not grindy enough? 188 00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,521 - Lieutenant, stop it. - This is it, right? 189 00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:57,922 Huh? This is that goldilocks grind. 190 00:10:57,924 --> 00:11:00,792 Where the grind is just right. 191 00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,494 Lieutenant, knock it off right now. That's an order. 192 00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,963 All right, all right. I was just trying to help out. 193 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,098 What part of inconspicuous don't you understand? 194 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,502 There's the cafe, come on. 195 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,938 And there's great concern about the level of contamination 196 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,507 due to industrial waste in the south madaka reservoir. 197 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,942 But you can't deny facts. 74% of the population 198 00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,345 has voted that assessment false. 199 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,946 I mean, facts are facts. 200 00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:24,015 Have a nice day. 201 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,284 Hi, I'd just like a cup of tea, please. 202 00:11:29,221 --> 00:11:30,789 Read the sign. 203 00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:37,629 Please, all I want is a cup of tea. 204 00:11:37,631 --> 00:11:39,230 I've been to a dozen cafes all over town... 205 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:41,833 No exceptions. 206 00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,968 Most of these are from my 20s. 207 00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:46,071 I'm a completely different person, and... 208 00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:47,505 Look, if you don't get out of here right now, 209 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:48,973 I'm going to call the police. 210 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,847 - Hi. Can I help you? - I hope so. 211 00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:58,249 We're looking for two men who've been seen here. 212 00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:00,485 Hi. I'm lysella. 213 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,020 Hey, I'm John. 214 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,488 How's it going? 215 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:11,062 Oh, god, that was too forward, wasn't it? 216 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,397 Was that too forward? 217 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,732 Nah. No. 218 00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:14,999 I was just saying 219 00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:16,735 I wish somebody would poke me today. 220 00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,238 What happened to your nose? 221 00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,408 It's a deviated septum. 222 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,944 She's a coke addict. 223 00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:28,012 Ma'am, have you seen either of these two men? 224 00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:29,748 You're kidding me, right? 225 00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,015 Everybody knows these guys. 226 00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:32,584 Why does everyone know them? 227 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:35,553 They got corrected, like a month ago. 228 00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,555 What do you mean by corrected? 229 00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,023 Breaking news... 230 00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,359 - Oh, my god. - John, your badge. 231 00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:47,031 Oh, my god, what did you do? 232 00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,800 - Commander, look. - Again, 233 00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,435 what you are seeing here is a man 234 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,870 performing what appears to be 235 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:54,372 a lewd act on a statue of mella giffenden. 236 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:57,742 This was recorded just a few minutes ago and uploaded. 237 00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,277 The feed is understandably 238 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,945 not happy about it, 239 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,147 and voting has already begun. 240 00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:04,249 The badge code has been identified, 241 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,918 so get out those mobile devices and cast your vote now. 242 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,220 Oh, my god, you're already above 500,000. 243 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,622 You need to get out of here, now. 244 00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:12,924 - Wait, what does that mean? - Get out of here. Now! Go! 245 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:13,892 Come on, let's go. 246 00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:18,429 Hey! 247 00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:20,131 Hey, that's the guy! 248 00:13:28,007 --> 00:13:30,141 - What's going on here? - I... 249 00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:32,443 Grayson to Orville. 250 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,179 - Mercer here, go ahead. - Captain, there's something 251 00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:35,814 going on down here. Some kind of social hysteria 252 00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,949 surrounding lieutenant lamarr. 253 00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,684 Show some respect for your country, jerk. 254 00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,152 Hey, chill out. 255 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,621 Kelly, what's happening? 256 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,123 John dry-humped a statue. 257 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,124 What? 258 00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:48,059 Get out of the way! 259 00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:53,965 We got to get out of here now. 260 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,433 I'll contact you from the shuttle. 261 00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:56,601 Grayson out. 262 00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:57,669 Get out of the way. 263 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,204 We got to move, guys. Come on. 264 00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,305 - Come on, let's move. - Get out of the way. 265 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:01,539 Move. 266 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:02,874 Come on, we gotta move. 267 00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:04,042 Hold it right there! 268 00:14:06,478 --> 00:14:08,179 You're under arrest. 269 00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:25,964 Exactly what did your navigator do down there? 270 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:30,068 I'm told he dry-humped a statue. 271 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,970 Oh, my god. 272 00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:33,905 What kind of ship are you running out there, captain? 273 00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:36,341 Look, admiral, he's an impulsive guy, yes, 274 00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:37,976 but he's fantastic at his job. 275 00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:40,712 Part of his job is to maintain a low profile 276 00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:43,248 when observing lesser-developed alien cultures. 277 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,984 I-I know that, and I promise it will not happen again. 278 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,987 I will personally order him.. 279 00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:51,522 Not to hump things, but in the meantime, 280 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,324 request clearance to extract him. 281 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:55,159 Absolutely not. 282 00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:56,995 Look, sir, just hear me out on this, okay? 283 00:14:56,997 --> 00:15:00,265 Let's say we reveal ourselves. 284 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,867 We go in there, we tell them what happened. 285 00:15:02,869 --> 00:15:05,436 This is a culture at the 21st century level of development. 286 00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:07,005 Knowledge of extraterrestrial life 287 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:10,375 could unify them in a profound way. 288 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:12,610 Or it could plunge them into a panic, 289 00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,212 or some worse degree of upheaval. 290 00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:16,547 I'm sorry, captain. 291 00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,049 Your man screwed up. 292 00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:20,885 He's going to have to play by their rules. 293 00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:23,154 Tucker out. 294 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:34,065 Sorry to keep you waiting, John. 295 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,199 Is it "John"? 296 00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:37,035 Yeah. That's-that's right. 297 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:37,969 That's an unusual name. 298 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,137 Is it kelvic? 299 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:40,972 Yeah. Sure. 300 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,941 Well... 301 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,976 John... 302 00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:48,212 You've gotten yourself in a bit of a situation, haven't you? 303 00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:49,414 I don't know. You tell me. 304 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,049 Last time I checked, 305 00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:52,951 you only arrest someone if they've committed a crime. 306 00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:57,322 Uh-huh. And what would you call a million downvotes? 307 00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,958 Look man, I just danced with a statue, that's all. 308 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:01,292 Why don't you start by telling me 309 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,094 your version of what happened, 310 00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:05,330 - from the beginning. -If I told it from the beginning, 311 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:06,931 you'd crap your pants and pass out. 312 00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:10,068 Trust me, I've heard it all. 313 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,270 There's nothing you can say that will shock me. 314 00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:14,105 Want to bet? 315 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:17,108 Look, I'm just here to help you. 316 00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:19,077 Are you supposed to be my lawyer or something? 317 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,579 - Your what? - My lawyer. 318 00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,915 I'm not familiar with that term. 319 00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:25,917 You know, with everything I've seen today, 320 00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:27,819 I'm not the least bit surprised. 321 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,487 I'm your publicity officer. 322 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,923 I'm here to help guide you through your apology tour. 323 00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:34,425 Okay, wait. Now I'm really lost. 324 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:35,994 What the hell is that? 325 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:39,964 You-you don't know what an apology tour is? 326 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:42,100 John, they happen every day. 327 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,534 How can you not be aware of... 328 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,703 Let's say I'm not aware, okay? 329 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,205 Let's say, right, 330 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,507 I'm the dumbest son of a bitch you've ever met. 331 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,342 Now with that in mind, 332 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:54,645 why don't you explain my situation to me? 333 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:56,681 Okay. 334 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,317 You performed a disrespectful act 335 00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:03,154 on a statue commemorating frontier hero mella giffenden. 336 00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:06,891 It was caught on video and uploaded to the master feed. 337 00:17:06,893 --> 00:17:09,560 You received over one million downvotes from the public, 338 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:12,964 which makes what you did a crime against the state. 339 00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:14,832 You will now begin an apology tour, 340 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:17,135 during which the people will vote on whether or not 341 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:18,903 they believe your sincerity. 342 00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:21,005 If your downvotes remain under ten million, 343 00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:24,008 you'll be free to go. 344 00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,011 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 345 00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:29,047 Wait. I'm sorry... 346 00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:34,419 All that crap you just said, 347 00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:36,054 that-that's real? 348 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:37,588 Aw, you got to be kidding me. 349 00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,590 That's how the justice system works. 350 00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,926 Which I think you know. 351 00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:43,761 Okay, wait, so... 352 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:46,364 Uh, what happens if they don't believe me? 353 00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:47,832 You will undergo social correction 354 00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,767 to prevent future transgressions. 355 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:52,203 What's that, social correction? 356 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:53,905 You will receive 357 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:56,407 a series of neurological treatments 358 00:17:56,409 --> 00:18:00,278 to pacify any and all potentially negative impulses. 359 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:04,282 Okay, now I ain't laughing. 360 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,389 Mercer to Grayson. 361 00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:12,690 What's the latest? 362 00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:15,193 No change, captain. 363 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,461 We're waiting for them to bring him out. 364 00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:17,795 I still want to know how the hell 365 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,464 a member of my crew let this happen. 366 00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:20,731 It was my fault. 367 00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,200 I take full responsibility. 368 00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,102 Do you have any idea how bad this is? 369 00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:26,037 Ed, I'll fix it. I promise. 370 00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:27,438 No surprise, 371 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,474 the admiral denied us clearance to extract him. 372 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,075 So, what are we up against? 373 00:18:31,077 --> 00:18:33,077 This whole society seems to operate 374 00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:35,279 on some kind of points system. 375 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,148 I mean, these badges everyone wears, 376 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,816 the feed on every wall, 377 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,485 - John's arrest... - Okay. Your guy's here. 378 00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,053 You got five minutes. 379 00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:43,421 Okay, they just brought him out. I got to go. 380 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:46,357 I'll contact you when I can. Grayson out. 381 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,162 Lieutenant, are you okay? 382 00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:53,998 Yeah, I'm all right. But, commander, t-this is crazy. 383 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,100 They want me to do some kind of apology tour 384 00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,169 that's supposed to decide if I'm guilty or not. 385 00:18:58,171 --> 00:18:59,437 Well, that fits right in with everything else 386 00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,472 about this place. 387 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,940 I don't suppose the Orville could send down an armed party 388 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,775 and we just blast our way out of here. 389 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:07,145 The captain couldn't get clearance from the union. 390 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:10,948 We're gonna have to work within the laws of this society. 391 00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,483 Is the captain mad? 392 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,752 Well, he's more mad at me. 393 00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,020 Good. 394 00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:18,923 Listen, uh, they said I could take 395 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,158 one person with me on the tour. 396 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,959 I'd like it to be you. 397 00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:24,462 Of course. I'll do everything I can to help. 398 00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,464 We're gonna get you out of this, don't worry. 399 00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,099 John. 400 00:19:28,101 --> 00:19:29,800 Did they tell you what happens if you lose? 401 00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,302 It doesn't sound good. 402 00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:33,538 They put you through some kind of brain fry 403 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,506 that's supposed to get rid of all the bad stuff. 404 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,776 This is a 21st century level society. 405 00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,144 They don't have the medical sophistication 406 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,812 to do that safely. 407 00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:44,615 Commander, he could end up a mental vegetable. 408 00:19:47,819 --> 00:19:50,555 - Hey, I'm a spaceman! You got to let me out of here! -Shh! 409 00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:53,291 - I'm a spaceman! Hey! -Don't make this worse for yourself. 410 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:56,127 Come on. 411 00:19:56,129 --> 00:19:59,063 Okay, let's say... 412 00:19:59,065 --> 00:20:00,898 Let's say he loses. 413 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,534 Would you be able to reverse any damage to his brain? 414 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,236 I don't know. 415 00:20:05,238 --> 00:20:08,039 I'd have to examine someone who's had the procedure. 416 00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:09,240 The question is, who? 417 00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:11,175 The missing anthropologists. 418 00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:13,911 Remember the girl from the cafe said that they'd been corrected. 419 00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:15,980 - They must've done something. - That makes sense. 420 00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:19,050 Everyone we talked to seemed to recognize them. 421 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,718 What in the hell could they have done? 422 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,254 Lewis isn't exactly the type to hump a statue. 423 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,156 We've got to locate those men. 424 00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:28,593 I'm sorry, John, I got to pull you away. 425 00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:30,928 The chat needs you on set in 20 minutes. 426 00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:31,929 The chat? 427 00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:34,098 Yep. Put your game face on. 428 00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:36,434 Here we go. 429 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,249 Now remember, humility is the key. 430 00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:52,917 You're extremely ashamed of your lack of judgment, 431 00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:55,052 and you're prepared to accept society's verdict 432 00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:56,954 with wholehearted respect. 433 00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:58,723 And don't forget to mention the donation. 434 00:20:58,725 --> 00:20:59,924 I got it, all right? 435 00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,225 Believe me, I'm gonna just 436 00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:02,893 go out there and kiss ass. 437 00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,061 Yeah, but not too much. 438 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:05,463 If they think you're pandering, 439 00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:06,897 they'll smell it. 440 00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:08,766 Just be yourself, but be humble. 441 00:21:17,075 --> 00:21:19,910 Okay, welcome back to the chat. 442 00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:21,946 It is voting time, and today we've got one 443 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,648 I'm sure you're all aware of. 444 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:27,084 Have you guys seen this video of the guy with the statue? 445 00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:28,786 It's pretty disgraceful. 446 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,055 This man was caught on video 447 00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:32,390 simulating a sexual act 448 00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:34,825 with a statue of mella giffenden, 449 00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:37,061 and it has justifiably angered a lot of people. 450 00:21:37,063 --> 00:21:38,329 We have the video here. 451 00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:39,797 Let's take a look. 452 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:42,400 Is it too grindy or not grindy enough? 453 00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:44,168 Ugh. 454 00:21:46,239 --> 00:21:48,639 And that's not even how I do sex. I was-i was just dancing. 455 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,074 Um... humility. 456 00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:51,242 Oh, wow, 457 00:21:51,244 --> 00:21:53,144 that is just horrible. 458 00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:54,979 Totally agree. Look at the master feed. 459 00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,014 Everybody's talking about it. 460 00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:59,617 "He has no respect for his nation," says one person. 461 00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:02,253 "We don't need people like that in our society," says another. 462 00:22:02,255 --> 00:22:03,921 "Correct him now." 463 00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,489 Obviously, people are 464 00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:08,526 very passionate about this, so let's bring him out. 465 00:22:08,528 --> 00:22:10,695 Ladies and gentlemen, John lamarr. 466 00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:12,496 Okay, go. 467 00:22:23,208 --> 00:22:25,042 - I just had to do that. - Good girl. 468 00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:27,712 Okay, so let's get straight to it, 469 00:22:27,714 --> 00:22:29,313 because everybody wants to know 470 00:22:29,315 --> 00:22:31,315 why would you do something so blatantly 471 00:22:31,317 --> 00:22:34,652 demeaning to the image of someone who is 472 00:22:34,654 --> 00:22:36,887 so universally respected by our country? 473 00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:39,724 Well, I deeply regret my actions, 474 00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:42,727 and I'm very, very sorry and it will not happen again. 475 00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:44,061 Peace. 476 00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:45,629 I don't know. 477 00:22:45,631 --> 00:22:47,031 Does he sound sorry? 478 00:22:47,033 --> 00:22:48,299 - I don't think so. - No, I-i am. 479 00:22:48,301 --> 00:22:49,967 I-I really am. 480 00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:51,535 I had a momentary lapse in judgment, 481 00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:53,738 and I'm aware that I caused offense 482 00:22:53,740 --> 00:22:56,040 to a great many people and I sincerely apologize. 483 00:22:57,310 --> 00:22:58,976 I'm not even that kind of guy. 484 00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:00,978 Grayson to Orville. Are you watching? 485 00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:02,213 We're seeing it. 486 00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:03,514 I like soda. 487 00:23:03,516 --> 00:23:05,015 I'm a good driver. 488 00:23:05,017 --> 00:23:07,852 Who would need such a large cup? 489 00:23:07,854 --> 00:23:10,020 Kelly, what the hell kind of circus is this? 490 00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:12,323 You're telling me this is their legal process? 491 00:23:12,325 --> 00:23:15,192 We haven't seen evidence of any codified legal framework. 492 00:23:15,194 --> 00:23:17,027 I mean, it all seems subject to public vote 493 00:23:17,029 --> 00:23:18,095 at any given time. 494 00:23:18,097 --> 00:23:20,331 Captain, what she is describing 495 00:23:20,333 --> 00:23:23,534 is an absolute, unstructured democracy. 496 00:23:23,536 --> 00:23:26,737 There is no record of any previously discovered society 497 00:23:26,739 --> 00:23:28,172 operating in such a fashion. 498 00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:29,840 Government by American idol. 499 00:23:29,842 --> 00:23:32,042 What is American idol? 500 00:23:32,044 --> 00:23:34,578 That was a form of entertainment from old earth. 501 00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:37,047 People competed to see who had the best singing voice. 502 00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:38,082 Why? 503 00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:39,917 I don't know. 504 00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:41,519 It was a dark time. 505 00:23:41,521 --> 00:23:44,188 I sing. 506 00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,559 Okay, I just want to jump in here. 507 00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:51,095 You know, we talk to a lot of different people on this show 508 00:23:51,097 --> 00:23:53,364 and I got to say, your apology sounds very rehearsed. 509 00:23:53,366 --> 00:23:55,032 Yeah, it does. 510 00:23:57,036 --> 00:23:59,437 Do something. 511 00:23:59,439 --> 00:24:01,806 I can't. It's up to him. 512 00:24:01,808 --> 00:24:02,973 N-no, no, I-i swear to god. 513 00:24:02,975 --> 00:24:04,809 I-I'm so, so completely sorry. 514 00:24:04,811 --> 00:24:05,976 N-no bs. 515 00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:07,945 I-I even donated 516 00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:10,581 to the mella giffendon foundation for jacked-up kids. 517 00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:13,083 The foundation for disadvantaged children. 518 00:24:13,085 --> 00:24:14,819 Right. That's-that's the one. 519 00:24:14,821 --> 00:24:16,220 Uh, I gave a whole bunch of money. 520 00:24:16,222 --> 00:24:17,221 Really? 521 00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:18,422 How many lods? 522 00:24:18,424 --> 00:24:20,991 - Oh, so many lods. - How many? 523 00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:23,394 I just walked in there and I made it rain lods. 524 00:24:23,396 --> 00:24:25,062 I was like, boom. 525 00:24:25,064 --> 00:24:27,231 - Lods for ev... - I have a question. 526 00:24:27,233 --> 00:24:29,500 Can you tell us what mella giffendon did 527 00:24:29,502 --> 00:24:32,069 that made her such a hero? 528 00:24:32,071 --> 00:24:34,104 - Oh, no. - What? 529 00:24:34,106 --> 00:24:36,006 We didn't cover this. 530 00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:38,008 She was... she did a lot of things, 531 00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:39,743 a lot of good things. 532 00:24:39,745 --> 00:24:41,912 Th-that's why there's a statue. 533 00:24:41,914 --> 00:24:44,482 Y-y-y-you don't get a statue just sitting around. 534 00:24:44,484 --> 00:24:47,184 She got up, she got out, 535 00:24:47,186 --> 00:24:48,919 and she did what's what 536 00:24:48,921 --> 00:24:50,988 and that's why there's a statue. 537 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,423 Name one thing she did. 538 00:24:52,425 --> 00:24:55,693 She saved the whale forests. 539 00:24:55,695 --> 00:24:58,095 He can't even name one thing. 540 00:24:58,097 --> 00:24:59,497 Oh, my god. How about leading 541 00:24:59,499 --> 00:25:01,465 an entire settlement of pioneers, for one. 542 00:25:01,467 --> 00:25:02,800 Okay, I think we've heard enough. 543 00:25:02,802 --> 00:25:04,802 - Yeah. - Let's vote. Shall we vote? 544 00:25:04,804 --> 00:25:06,470 Yeah. Let's vote. 545 00:25:06,472 --> 00:25:08,372 All right, let's get his badge info 546 00:25:08,374 --> 00:25:09,940 up there on the screen. 547 00:25:09,942 --> 00:25:11,375 Okay. There it is. 548 00:25:11,377 --> 00:25:14,879 Studio audience and you folks at home, cast your votes. 549 00:25:14,881 --> 00:25:17,014 Dude, I got to say, this is creepy. 550 00:25:17,016 --> 00:25:18,782 I mean it. This is creepy as hell. 551 00:25:29,294 --> 00:25:31,128 All right. 552 00:25:31,130 --> 00:25:33,130 Let's see where we're at. 553 00:25:41,139 --> 00:25:42,973 It's okay. 554 00:25:42,975 --> 00:25:45,109 He's got more shows to do. 555 00:25:49,514 --> 00:25:52,583 You think she'll help us? 556 00:25:52,585 --> 00:25:54,885 They had to have a base of operations somewhere. 557 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:56,954 She's the only one who might be able to give us a lead. 558 00:26:02,594 --> 00:26:03,994 There you go. 559 00:26:03,996 --> 00:26:05,896 Oh, hey, guys. 560 00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:08,098 I am so, so sorry about what happened. 561 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:10,067 Well, thank you. 562 00:26:10,069 --> 00:26:11,569 We're optimistic that he'll be okay. 563 00:26:11,571 --> 00:26:12,836 Who? 564 00:26:12,838 --> 00:26:15,172 John. Our friend who got arrested. 565 00:26:15,174 --> 00:26:17,174 You're kidding me, right? 566 00:26:17,176 --> 00:26:18,842 Oh, my... 567 00:26:18,844 --> 00:26:20,444 No, screw that guy. 568 00:26:20,446 --> 00:26:21,879 Why would you ever want to talk to him again? 569 00:26:21,881 --> 00:26:23,013 I mean, he got a million downvotes. 570 00:26:23,015 --> 00:26:24,748 Right, yes, and that's bad. 571 00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:26,250 I-I mean, it's like 572 00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:29,086 - you never really know somebody, you know? - Mm. 573 00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:31,589 I actually thought he was cute when he first came in here. 574 00:26:31,591 --> 00:26:33,624 Ugh, god, that makes my skin crawl. 575 00:26:33,626 --> 00:26:35,960 Mine, too. Really, really gross guy. 576 00:26:35,962 --> 00:26:38,762 Listen, lysella, about our friends who got corrected... 577 00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:40,598 Oh, my god, that's right. 578 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,767 Holy crap, you guys have had a really bad month, huh? 579 00:26:43,769 --> 00:26:46,470 We were wondering if you might know where they were based, 580 00:26:46,472 --> 00:26:48,939 like if they had a residence nearby? 581 00:26:48,941 --> 00:26:51,375 Hey. Why are you wearing that? 582 00:26:51,377 --> 00:26:52,977 - Me? - Yeah, you. 583 00:26:52,979 --> 00:26:54,545 Take that neffolo off. 584 00:26:54,547 --> 00:26:56,146 I'm sorry, the what? 585 00:26:56,148 --> 00:26:57,414 You're not kelvic. 586 00:26:57,416 --> 00:26:58,549 That's traditional kelvic headwear. 587 00:26:58,551 --> 00:27:01,218 It's not a hat. 588 00:27:01,220 --> 00:27:03,320 Oh, no. 589 00:27:03,322 --> 00:27:05,623 Uh, I... 590 00:27:05,625 --> 00:27:07,925 - I can't. - What? 591 00:27:07,927 --> 00:27:10,728 I have the deepest respect for your place of origin, 592 00:27:10,730 --> 00:27:12,329 but I can't take this off. 593 00:27:12,331 --> 00:27:16,066 You're literally pissing on my heritage by wearing that. 594 00:27:16,068 --> 00:27:19,069 I have a really bad rash under here. 595 00:27:19,071 --> 00:27:20,938 It's disgusting. You'd throw up, so... 596 00:27:20,940 --> 00:27:22,473 I think you're lying. 597 00:27:22,475 --> 00:27:23,841 Prove it 598 00:27:23,843 --> 00:27:25,342 or they're all gonna upload. 599 00:27:25,344 --> 00:27:26,744 Uh, you know what? 600 00:27:26,746 --> 00:27:28,479 You are absolutely right. 601 00:27:28,481 --> 00:27:30,080 We're gonna go and take it off right now. 602 00:27:30,082 --> 00:27:32,416 Come on, alara. We're very sorry. 603 00:27:35,754 --> 00:27:38,255 Claire, what am I gonna do? 604 00:27:38,257 --> 00:27:40,257 - Go on, take it off. - What? 605 00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:41,258 Take it off. 606 00:27:41,260 --> 00:27:42,960 The seamstress is in the house. 607 00:27:42,962 --> 00:27:44,762 - What are you doing? - I'm making you a wrap. 608 00:27:44,764 --> 00:27:46,530 Not super fashionable, but it'll cover 609 00:27:46,532 --> 00:27:48,132 that washboard forehead of yours. 610 00:27:48,134 --> 00:27:50,534 - Wow, full-service doctor. - You know it. 611 00:27:50,536 --> 00:27:51,969 Hey, um, that guy's gone 612 00:27:51,971 --> 00:27:54,505 if you guys want to... 613 00:27:54,507 --> 00:27:57,274 New problem. 614 00:28:07,719 --> 00:28:08,986 - No! - No! 615 00:28:08,988 --> 00:28:11,121 - No, no, no, no! It's okay. - Come on. It's okay. 616 00:28:11,123 --> 00:28:13,123 - It's okay. You're fine. - All right? 617 00:28:13,125 --> 00:28:14,358 You're okay. 618 00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:16,060 We're not gonna hurt you. 619 00:28:16,062 --> 00:28:18,128 What are you? 620 00:28:18,130 --> 00:28:22,833 We are two very nice people 621 00:28:22,835 --> 00:28:24,868 who are gonna buy you a drink. 622 00:28:38,983 --> 00:28:40,751 Feeling better? 623 00:28:40,753 --> 00:28:41,919 I-I just can't believe 624 00:28:41,921 --> 00:28:43,721 that this is actually happening. 625 00:28:43,723 --> 00:28:47,825 I mean, you guys really are from another planet? 626 00:28:47,827 --> 00:28:50,060 Well, two different planets, actually. 627 00:28:50,062 --> 00:28:51,595 Claire is from a place called earth 628 00:28:51,597 --> 00:28:53,597 and I'm from a planet called xelayan. 629 00:28:53,599 --> 00:28:56,533 So, can you guys, like, do stuff? 630 00:28:56,535 --> 00:29:01,205 Like shoot lasers out of your eyes or anything? 631 00:29:01,207 --> 00:29:02,940 I can do this. 632 00:29:04,876 --> 00:29:07,444 Oh, whoa. 633 00:29:07,446 --> 00:29:09,079 Lysella, we need your help. 634 00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:12,049 The two men you saw in the pictures that we showed you, 635 00:29:12,051 --> 00:29:14,017 they're like us... they came here to study your planet. 636 00:29:14,019 --> 00:29:15,419 We need to find them. 637 00:29:15,421 --> 00:29:17,921 Wait, those guys were aliens, too? 638 00:29:17,923 --> 00:29:20,090 Yes. Do you know what happened to them? 639 00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:22,426 Uh, they were on a subtrain 640 00:29:22,428 --> 00:29:24,428 and there was a pregnant woman standing behind them 641 00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:26,430 because all the seats were taken. 642 00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:27,965 Somebody took a picture. Here. 643 00:29:27,967 --> 00:29:30,968 I'll show you. 644 00:29:30,970 --> 00:29:33,303 They didn't get up and offer the seat. 645 00:29:33,305 --> 00:29:35,305 The picture was uploaded to the master feed 646 00:29:35,307 --> 00:29:37,374 and then they got downvoted. 647 00:29:37,376 --> 00:29:39,476 It looks like they just didn't see her. 648 00:29:39,478 --> 00:29:42,412 Doesn't matter. The people decided. 649 00:29:42,414 --> 00:29:44,414 That was always Lewis. 650 00:29:44,416 --> 00:29:47,117 Nose buried so deep in his work, 651 00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:48,919 he never had a clue what was going on around him. 652 00:29:48,921 --> 00:29:50,988 But, uh, there is something else. 653 00:29:50,990 --> 00:29:54,124 One of them tried to escape before he was corrected. 654 00:29:54,126 --> 00:29:55,325 He got killed. 655 00:29:56,661 --> 00:29:59,263 - Which one? - I don't remember. 656 00:29:59,265 --> 00:30:03,167 Lysella, where do they send people who have been corrected? 657 00:30:03,169 --> 00:30:05,402 They send them home. 658 00:30:05,404 --> 00:30:08,305 I think your friends once told me they lived on kappala street. 659 00:30:33,965 --> 00:30:36,099 These are Lewis's research notes. 660 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,842 Doctor. 661 00:30:44,844 --> 00:30:47,144 Lewis! 662 00:30:47,146 --> 00:30:49,847 Lewis, thank god. Are you all right? 663 00:30:49,849 --> 00:30:52,516 I am well. 664 00:30:52,518 --> 00:30:55,452 Don't you recognize me? 665 00:30:55,454 --> 00:30:56,954 It's Claire. 666 00:30:56,956 --> 00:30:59,323 Of course. Claire. 667 00:30:59,325 --> 00:31:02,025 You look healthy and happy. 668 00:31:04,028 --> 00:31:05,963 Lewis, I need to know. 669 00:31:05,965 --> 00:31:07,497 What did they do to you? 670 00:31:07,499 --> 00:31:11,568 I did something terrible and then I was corrected. 671 00:31:11,570 --> 00:31:13,170 I'm better now. 672 00:31:13,172 --> 00:31:17,741 I'm healthier and happier. 673 00:31:17,743 --> 00:31:19,643 I have to get him back to the ship. 674 00:31:22,513 --> 00:31:26,984 - John, do you have any talents I should know about? -What? 675 00:31:26,986 --> 00:31:28,552 Can you dance or play an instrument? 676 00:31:28,554 --> 00:31:30,821 What the hell does that have to do with anything? 677 00:31:30,823 --> 00:31:33,357 Um, look, we're not doing too well here. 678 00:31:33,359 --> 00:31:36,026 We should have a lot fewer downvotes and we don't. 679 00:31:36,028 --> 00:31:38,528 But people tend to be more sympathetic, 680 00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:41,164 more forgiving of a crime, if the perpetrator has talent. 681 00:31:41,166 --> 00:31:43,867 That makes them more likable, more relatable. 682 00:31:43,869 --> 00:31:45,869 Hmm. Uh, I can drink an entire bottle of Tequila 683 00:31:45,871 --> 00:31:47,337 and say the alphabet. 684 00:31:47,339 --> 00:31:51,375 Just go out there with a lot of positive energy. 685 00:31:51,377 --> 00:31:54,411 Get the audience on your side. 686 00:31:55,747 --> 00:31:57,915 All right, ladies and gentlemen. 687 00:31:57,917 --> 00:31:59,783 My next guest is a guy 688 00:31:59,785 --> 00:32:02,953 you've all seen or heard about on the feed. 689 00:32:02,955 --> 00:32:04,855 His actions speak for themselves. 690 00:32:04,857 --> 00:32:06,623 Here's John lamarr. 691 00:32:09,561 --> 00:32:11,028 Hey, hey, hey. 692 00:32:13,098 --> 00:32:15,666 All right. Okay. 693 00:32:18,603 --> 00:32:21,705 You know, I got to say, I'm surprised by that entrance. 694 00:32:21,707 --> 00:32:22,773 You liked it? 695 00:32:22,775 --> 00:32:24,041 You're in a lot of trouble 696 00:32:24,043 --> 00:32:26,043 for doing something extremely disrespectful 697 00:32:26,045 --> 00:32:27,911 and not only did you dance out here 698 00:32:27,913 --> 00:32:29,813 acting like it's nothing, 699 00:32:29,815 --> 00:32:32,883 but you struck several members of the audience. 700 00:32:32,885 --> 00:32:34,785 For god's sake, willks, what the hell are you trying to do? 701 00:32:34,787 --> 00:32:36,553 Hey, I'm giving this my best shot here. 702 00:32:36,555 --> 00:32:39,823 Now, this job entails a lot of guesswork. 703 00:32:41,392 --> 00:32:44,995 Lewis, is there anything you can tell us about that planet 704 00:32:44,997 --> 00:32:47,064 that might help us repair the damage they did to you? 705 00:32:47,066 --> 00:32:48,598 There is no damage. 706 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,268 I am healthy and happy. 707 00:32:51,270 --> 00:32:53,070 But what about tom? 708 00:32:53,072 --> 00:32:54,671 Lewis, they killed him. 709 00:32:54,673 --> 00:32:57,341 My god, his family. 710 00:32:57,343 --> 00:32:58,976 Please tell tom's family 711 00:32:58,978 --> 00:33:01,945 I wish them great happiness and good health. 712 00:33:01,947 --> 00:33:05,649 Captain, it's like he's been lobotomized. 713 00:33:05,651 --> 00:33:06,917 There's nothing I can do. 714 00:33:06,919 --> 00:33:08,518 The brain damage is too severe. 715 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:12,289 Sir, we can't let them do this to John. 716 00:33:12,291 --> 00:33:15,659 Okay, it is voting time, audience, 717 00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:17,327 and you folks at home. 718 00:33:17,329 --> 00:33:18,929 Here we go. 719 00:33:18,931 --> 00:33:21,031 Do you believe John's apology? 720 00:33:21,033 --> 00:33:23,266 Sound off now. 721 00:33:35,947 --> 00:33:37,047 Damn it. 722 00:33:37,049 --> 00:33:39,049 Now what? 723 00:33:39,051 --> 00:33:40,717 Well, that's it. 724 00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:44,054 Now he goes back to detention to wait for the final summary vote. 725 00:33:44,056 --> 00:33:45,522 And then? 726 00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:48,625 Well, if he stays below ten million downvotes 727 00:33:48,627 --> 00:33:50,127 before the tour window elapses, 728 00:33:50,129 --> 00:33:52,229 he's fine. 729 00:33:52,231 --> 00:33:55,999 But, honestly, I've never seen anyone above nine million 730 00:33:56,001 --> 00:33:58,368 at this stage who came out uncorrected. 731 00:33:59,637 --> 00:34:01,438 I'm sorry, Kelly. 732 00:34:03,741 --> 00:34:05,142 Grayson to Orville. 733 00:34:05,144 --> 00:34:07,077 Mercer here. Go ahead. 734 00:34:07,079 --> 00:34:09,146 Captain, what's the latest from Claire? 735 00:34:09,148 --> 00:34:10,714 She can't repair the damage. 736 00:34:10,716 --> 00:34:12,616 Then John is in big trouble. 737 00:34:13,851 --> 00:34:17,354 We need some kind of an inside advantage. 738 00:34:17,356 --> 00:34:18,522 What can we do? 739 00:34:18,524 --> 00:34:19,656 The admiral said that 740 00:34:19,658 --> 00:34:21,391 we couldn't send anyone in, 741 00:34:21,393 --> 00:34:25,162 but he never said we couldn't pull someone out. 742 00:34:25,164 --> 00:34:28,432 Claire, what's the name of your little friend down there? 743 00:34:28,434 --> 00:34:30,000 Lysella. 744 00:34:31,936 --> 00:34:34,337 We're gonna bring her aboard the Orville. 745 00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:04,101 Oh, my... god. 746 00:35:12,143 --> 00:35:14,211 It's incredible. 747 00:35:14,213 --> 00:35:16,613 It's so big. 748 00:35:16,615 --> 00:35:18,815 The Orville's only midsize. 749 00:35:18,817 --> 00:35:21,017 You should see the heavy cruisers. 750 00:35:28,659 --> 00:35:31,128 I'll just hang onto that until we take you home. 751 00:35:31,130 --> 00:35:35,098 But nobody's gonna believe me if I don't have pictures. 752 00:35:35,100 --> 00:35:37,200 Exactly. 753 00:35:55,419 --> 00:35:58,188 We're sorry to turn your world upside down like this, 754 00:35:58,190 --> 00:35:59,923 but we need your help. 755 00:35:59,925 --> 00:36:01,591 Believe me, this is the coolest thing 756 00:36:01,593 --> 00:36:03,026 that has ever happened to me. 757 00:36:03,028 --> 00:36:05,795 What are they again? 758 00:36:05,797 --> 00:36:08,932 Commander bortus is a member of a species called moclan. 759 00:36:08,934 --> 00:36:10,133 I am an artificial 760 00:36:10,135 --> 00:36:12,135 life-form from a planet called kaylon. 761 00:36:12,137 --> 00:36:13,937 Wow. 762 00:36:13,939 --> 00:36:15,472 Bortus, can you make a note? 763 00:36:15,474 --> 00:36:17,140 We should have, like, pretzels and water and stuff 764 00:36:17,142 --> 00:36:18,608 on the table when people come in here. 765 00:36:18,610 --> 00:36:22,112 - Noted, captain. I will not fail you. - Great. 766 00:36:22,114 --> 00:36:24,948 Lysella, what can you tell us about your planet that might 767 00:36:24,950 --> 00:36:26,716 help us figure out a way to save John? 768 00:36:26,718 --> 00:36:27,951 Your world is... 769 00:36:27,953 --> 00:36:30,353 Hard to get a handle on. 770 00:36:30,355 --> 00:36:31,788 How so? 771 00:36:31,790 --> 00:36:34,491 Well, the voting and rating. 772 00:36:34,493 --> 00:36:37,127 Those badges... You all wear them? 773 00:36:37,129 --> 00:36:38,695 Yeah. You get one when you turn 18, 774 00:36:38,697 --> 00:36:41,131 and then, you wear it for the rest of your life. 775 00:36:41,133 --> 00:36:42,966 It's how we can tell who's good and who's bad. 776 00:36:42,968 --> 00:36:45,335 So this is an absolute democracy? 777 00:36:45,337 --> 00:36:47,804 Yeah. How does your world work? 778 00:36:47,806 --> 00:36:50,674 We select representatives who discuss issues 779 00:36:50,676 --> 00:36:51,975 and enact laws. 780 00:36:51,977 --> 00:36:54,144 But what about everybody else? 781 00:36:54,146 --> 00:36:55,879 Everybody deserves a voice. 782 00:36:55,881 --> 00:36:57,714 That's what we're taught. 783 00:36:57,716 --> 00:36:59,583 A voice should be earned, 784 00:36:59,585 --> 00:37:01,184 not given away. 785 00:37:01,186 --> 00:37:04,020 How do you know... 786 00:37:04,022 --> 00:37:05,689 What foods are healthiest for your children, 787 00:37:05,691 --> 00:37:07,691 or what medicine to take if you're sick? 788 00:37:07,693 --> 00:37:09,926 - We vote. - I believe 789 00:37:09,928 --> 00:37:12,696 you are confusing opinion with knowledge. 790 00:37:12,698 --> 00:37:15,599 I think what he's asking is, with so many voices at once, 791 00:37:15,601 --> 00:37:17,434 how do you filter out the truth? 792 00:37:17,436 --> 00:37:20,237 Well, my dad always says, "the majority are the truth." 793 00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:22,439 I mean, you always know what the majority wants. 794 00:37:22,441 --> 00:37:24,040 That's what matters. 795 00:37:24,042 --> 00:37:26,743 Well, you always know what the mob wants, too. 796 00:37:26,745 --> 00:37:29,446 And right now, the mob wants to lobotomize my navigator. 797 00:37:29,448 --> 00:37:31,781 Now, there must be some way to... 798 00:37:31,783 --> 00:37:34,251 Influence the mass perception before it's too late. 799 00:37:34,253 --> 00:37:37,621 Well... everybody reads the master feed. 800 00:37:37,623 --> 00:37:39,222 What's the master feed? 801 00:37:39,224 --> 00:37:40,924 It's a continuously streaming opinion feed. 802 00:37:40,926 --> 00:37:42,892 We saw them everywhere. 803 00:37:42,894 --> 00:37:46,963 Could this... feed turn the public tide in John's favor? 804 00:37:46,965 --> 00:37:50,634 Well, yeah, but everybody uses the feed. 805 00:37:50,636 --> 00:37:53,236 I mean, how are you gonna get millions of people 806 00:37:53,238 --> 00:37:54,638 to change their minds? 807 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,774 I believe I have a suggestion. 808 00:38:23,634 --> 00:38:25,902 Oh, hell, no. Hell, no. 809 00:38:25,904 --> 00:38:27,771 - Y'all not putting me in that thing! Get off me! -Hey. 810 00:38:27,773 --> 00:38:29,839 - Hey, take it easy! - Hey! Hey! 811 00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:41,918 Um, tell me they got this! 812 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:45,088 - How much time? - Final vote begins 813 00:38:45,090 --> 00:38:46,756 in... seven minutes. 814 00:38:48,292 --> 00:38:50,860 Grayson to Orville. We're running out of time. 815 00:38:50,862 --> 00:38:52,529 Stand by. Isaac, what's your status? 816 00:38:52,531 --> 00:38:54,030 I have gained access 817 00:38:54,032 --> 00:38:56,032 - to the master feed. - All right, lysella, 818 00:38:56,034 --> 00:38:58,635 what kind of stuff would endear him to your people? 819 00:38:58,637 --> 00:39:01,971 Um,... you could say he supports his grandmother financially. 820 00:39:01,973 --> 00:39:04,140 - Do it. -But make sure you word it right. 821 00:39:04,142 --> 00:39:06,643 Like say, "oh, my god, I just found out 822 00:39:06,645 --> 00:39:08,778 John lamarr supports his 90-year-old grandmother." 823 00:39:08,780 --> 00:39:11,548 Flooding the feed with 20 million entries. 824 00:39:11,550 --> 00:39:13,049 How can you do that? 825 00:39:13,051 --> 00:39:16,052 - Babe. Spaceship. - All right, what else? 826 00:39:16,054 --> 00:39:17,821 If he was an overweight kid, that would help. 827 00:39:17,823 --> 00:39:21,324 Access childhood image of John. 828 00:39:21,326 --> 00:39:24,561 Ugh. Crap, that's no good. Isaac, can you make him fatter? 829 00:39:24,563 --> 00:39:26,830 That's better. 830 00:39:26,832 --> 00:39:28,064 People will like him now. 831 00:39:28,066 --> 00:39:30,633 Flooding the feed with the image. 832 00:39:30,635 --> 00:39:33,136 The entries are spreading and multiplying. 833 00:39:33,138 --> 00:39:34,637 People are sharing them. 834 00:39:34,639 --> 00:39:35,905 What if people try to corroborate 835 00:39:35,907 --> 00:39:37,407 all this information? 836 00:39:37,409 --> 00:39:39,576 Don't worry. They won't. 837 00:39:39,578 --> 00:39:43,546 Final vote has begun. 838 00:39:56,927 --> 00:39:59,229 Ed, we're out of time. 839 00:39:59,231 --> 00:40:01,898 - What else? We need something else! - Um... 840 00:40:03,901 --> 00:40:05,735 No, no, no, no, no, no. No! 841 00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:07,070 No. Come on! No! 842 00:40:07,072 --> 00:40:10,006 Tell them he has slain many enemies in battle. 843 00:40:10,008 --> 00:40:11,708 Or you could just say he's a veteran. 844 00:40:11,710 --> 00:40:13,376 What if he has a dog named chuckles? 845 00:40:13,378 --> 00:40:14,911 Yes, that's great. People love those videos 846 00:40:14,913 --> 00:40:16,713 of soldiers reuniting with their pets. 847 00:40:16,715 --> 00:40:19,983 Access military attire for the planet and simulate the video. 848 00:40:22,620 --> 00:40:25,288 - -Oh, chuckles. Oh, chuckles, come here! 849 00:40:25,290 --> 00:40:27,090 Yeah. Yeah! 850 00:40:27,092 --> 00:40:29,025 Oh, my god, chuckles, 851 00:40:29,027 --> 00:40:31,060 I missed you so much! I'm so happy 852 00:40:31,062 --> 00:40:33,096 to be reunited with you. 853 00:40:33,098 --> 00:40:35,632 Oh, chuckles, I missed you when I was at war. 854 00:40:35,634 --> 00:40:37,867 That's tuggin' at these heartstrings. 855 00:40:37,869 --> 00:40:39,602 Flood the feed with that. 856 00:41:21,445 --> 00:41:24,814 I don't believe it. 857 00:41:24,816 --> 00:41:26,516 John, you won! 858 00:41:26,518 --> 00:41:28,151 You're damn right I won! 859 00:41:28,153 --> 00:41:31,154 Now get this crap off of me, you crazy sons of bitches! 860 00:41:31,156 --> 00:41:32,822 According to the feed, 861 00:41:32,824 --> 00:41:35,658 lieutenant lamarr has escaped punishment. 862 00:41:37,661 --> 00:41:39,896 Come on, John. Let's get you out of here. 863 00:41:45,135 --> 00:41:47,003 - Congratulations! - Real quick, 864 00:41:47,005 --> 00:41:49,839 I just want to say, all y'all can suck ass, 865 00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:52,008 and I'm a spaceman. 866 00:41:52,010 --> 00:41:53,910 I... 867 00:41:58,949 --> 00:42:01,784 Lysella, thank you. 868 00:42:01,786 --> 00:42:04,821 No. Thank you for... 869 00:42:04,823 --> 00:42:07,490 Letting me see all of this. 870 00:42:07,492 --> 00:42:10,159 I just wish I could tell somebody. 871 00:42:10,161 --> 00:42:12,228 Well, maybe all you need to tell them is that 872 00:42:12,230 --> 00:42:14,797 their world can do better. 873 00:42:46,096 --> 00:42:48,531 I think I speak for all of our viewers when I say 874 00:42:48,533 --> 00:42:51,234 that what you have done is shocking to say the least. 875 00:42:51,236 --> 00:42:54,170 But, of course, that's for the people to decide. 876 00:42:54,172 --> 00:42:56,105 That's all the time we have for today. 877 00:42:56,107 --> 00:42:59,609 Don't forget to cast your votes, and we'll see you tomorrow. 878 00:43:11,956 --> 00:43:17,026 Captioned by media access group at wgbh