1 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:12,600 -[slow music] -[waves lapping] 2 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,960 [wind whipping] 3 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,760 [tense music] 4 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,840 Hello, and welcome to the top of Norway, 5 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:37,120 and specifically, the third most northerly football pitch 6 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,560 in the entire world. 7 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:40,600 [dramatic music] 8 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,680 [wind whipping] 9 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,200 [Richard] How far north are we? 10 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:53,440 Really far. We're 127 miles north of the Arctic Circle. 11 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,800 And we're further north than anywhere in Iceland. 12 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,800 And this isn't just a football pitch as in just a field. 13 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:01,960 This is quite proper, isn't it? 14 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,200 -[Jeremy] No, it is. -[James] Who do they play? 15 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,560 The North Sea Oil Eleven, The Oil Rig Eleven. 16 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:09,440 -I don't know. The Trawlermen Eleven. -Probably whoever passes! 17 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:10,560 [James] There's no other villages. 18 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:12,120 -Anyway... -See you tomorrow. 19 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,200 -You go and get the ball. -I'll go get the ball. 20 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,200 Because I'll explain to the ladies and gentlemen why we're here. 21 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,640 You see, the thing is, we are here... 22 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,640 [laughs] We are here because... 23 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,800 [laughs] You nearly took my leg off! 24 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,920 Because throughout the 2000s, 25 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,040 the world of rallying produced some 26 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,720 of the most exciting four-wheel-drive, 27 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,000 four-door, family saloon cars anyone had ever seen. 28 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:39,440 And what we want to know is, which is the best? 29 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,320 [dramatic music] 30 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:17,800 [Richard] This is my choice. 31 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,600 [dramatic music] 32 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,440 -[door thuds] -And before we've even begun, 33 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,600 here it is. The Subaru Impreza is the best. 34 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:27,720 And that's that. 35 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,360 [dramatic music] 36 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,080 It just is. 37 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,080 -[upbeat music] -[waves lapping] 38 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,040 [Richard] At this point, James arrived 39 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,440 with one of his favourite things, 40 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,080 a contrary opinion. 41 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,560 That is a fantastic car, Hammond. 42 00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:47,960 The Subaru is superb. 43 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,080 It's not quite as fantastic as what I've brought, 44 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:53,480 which is a Mitsubishi Evo. 45 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,040 Yes, and if you're on an actual rally special stage 46 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,440 or a racetrack, the Evo is brilliant. 47 00:02:58,520 --> 00:02:59,880 But the fact remains, to get home again, 48 00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,120 you will take the Subaru 49 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,040 because it's just more suited to the real world, somehow. 50 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:05,720 It's more calm. 51 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,120 -Calm? -Yes. 52 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,960 Who wants a calm rally car? 53 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,320 This twat. 54 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,840 [dramatic music] 55 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:16,160 [Richard] At this point, Jeremy demonstrated 56 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,320 that he hadn't been listening to himself. 57 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,320 -[Jeremy] Hello! -[door thuds] 58 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:25,920 Didn't you say that you had to bring the best rally car? 59 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:29,000 It is. It's an Audi Quattro. 60 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,360 That's not an Audi Quattro. 61 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:33,280 -It is! -Where does it say "Quattro" on that? 62 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,520 -It doesn't. -Because it isn't one! 63 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:43,640 -There you go! -[Jeremy] Listen, 64 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,200 it doesn't say "The Duke of Marlborough" 65 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:47,720 on the Duke of Marlborough. 66 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,440 But we know he is the Duke of Marlborough 67 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,240 because his ancestor won a battle. 68 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,880 And that car's ancestor won a battle. Twice. 69 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,120 -It won two battles. -You've brought the wrong thing. 70 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,040 It's an RS 4. 71 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,920 -These are rally cars! -It's an executive car! 72 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,000 Listen, I am older than you two... 73 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,120 And old. And older. 74 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,040 -And with age has come wisdom. -Weight. 75 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:08,680 -Greyness. -[Jeremy and Richard laugh] 76 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:09,760 And weight. 77 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,120 Yeah, it is a bit heavy, I admit. 78 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,160 Is it? They are a heavy car! [laughs] 79 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,640 He said, dodging that one. 80 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,360 [Richard and James laugh] 81 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:17,440 -[message bell rings] -Very good. 82 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,080 -Oh, sorry. -What? 83 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,000 My phone is buzzing. 84 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:22,920 [sighs] Inevitable, go on. 85 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,440 There is no escape, is there? There you go. 86 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,240 -Yes. -[laughs] You knew. Yes? 87 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:28,360 Mr Wilman. 88 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:30,880 Right, hang on. 89 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,800 In order to find out which of your cars is the best, 90 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,920 you will drive across what both the BBC 91 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:40,600 and The Guardian call 'Europe's last great wilderness'. 92 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,600 [Richard gasps] 93 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,880 You will drive all the way across Norway, 94 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:46,640 Sweden and Finland, 95 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:50,600 never once dropping below the Arctic Circle, 96 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,120 and you must get to Ivalo Airport near the Russian border 97 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,760 by 5:00 p.m. on Saturday 98 00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:00,360 'cause that's when your plane back to the UK leaves. 99 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:01,440 -So we've gotta... -How far is that? 100 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,520 Hold on. We've gotta get to the finish line in six days. 101 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:06,920 What is it? Five, six hundred miles? 102 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,240 -Ooh, over a hundred. -A hundred miles a day? 103 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,200 In the Subaru Impreza! Ah! 104 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,760 It doesn't sound very tricky this time. 105 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,240 I mean, if we were in convertibles... [laughs] 106 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,160 -...or in four-wheel-drive... -Or roller skates. 107 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,320 Yes, four-wheel-drive saloons, near enough. 108 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:25,560 This isn't a clearing-up shower, is it? 109 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,960 [group groans] 110 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,040 Should we get going? 111 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,240 -Yes. -Yes. 112 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:31,320 [Jeremy] Holy cow. 113 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:35,480 [Richard and James groaning] 114 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,600 [smooth music] 115 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,240 [Richard] We set off, heading east 116 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,080 through the monochromatic Lofoten Islands. 117 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:59,000 And at this point, it's probably a good idea 118 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,240 to warn our non-petrolhead viewers 119 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,640 that you're about to land on Planet Nerd. 120 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:10,920 Now, I should explain that there have been 212 different versions 121 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,920 of the Subaru Impreza over the years. 122 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,480 There'd be a new model every year, 123 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,800 and then there'd be a hot new variant of that model, 124 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,360 and then there'd be special limited editions 125 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,480 of the hot new variants of the new model. 126 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:25,960 And every member of the very active 127 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:29,000 and committed Subaru community has their own 128 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:32,840 very strong opinions on which one is best. 129 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,400 I'm gonna say it's this one. 130 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:41,960 2003 WRX STi V-Limited edition and... 131 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,160 [phone whistles] 132 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:47,040 ...that's the sound of my Twitter inbox exploding 133 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:48,920 with all the Subaru owner community people 134 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,720 telling me I'm wrong. 135 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:52,800 [engine revving] 136 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,800 [dramatic music] 137 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,920 I know exactly where Hammond is coming from, 138 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,360 because over the years, 139 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:06,800 there have been ten iterations of the Mitsubishi Lancer Evo. 140 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:11,040 And every one has been available in various states of tune 141 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,280 and there have been various accessories and extras 142 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:14,400 and so on and so on. 143 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:19,160 But I think peak Evo arrived with this one. 144 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,640 The Evo VIII GSR. 145 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,480 -[engine revving] -[phone notifications ringing] 146 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:28,040 And that is the sound of everybody on every Evo forum 147 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:31,360 on the internet ringing up to tell me I'm wrong. 148 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:39,280 This Subaru and James' Evo have exactly 276 brake horsepower. 149 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:42,560 -[dramatic music] -[engines revving] 150 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,800 And there was also a rule in the World Rally Championship 151 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,920 which stated the engine could have a maximum capacity 152 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,520 of two litres, it could be turbo-charged. 153 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,920 So this has a four-cylinder, two-litre, turbo-charged engine. 154 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,520 It's a thoroughbred, it's special. 155 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,080 It's rugged, it's purpose-built, 156 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,880 it was developed for rallying. 157 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,680 It's just the business. 158 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,000 [gentle music] 159 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,440 [Jeremy] I'll be the first to admit 160 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:17,520 that most fast Audis are a bit hopeless. 161 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:22,280 But just occasionally, they come up with a gem. 162 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,640 [engine revving] 163 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:30,720 There was the original 20-valve Quattro, the R8, obviously, 164 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,520 the TT RS, and this. 165 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:34,960 [engine revving] 166 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:38,360 The 2007 RS 4. 167 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:42,640 -[dramatic music] -[engine revving] 168 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,400 The three best engines ever made, in my book, 169 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:51,200 are the Lexus V10, Alfa Romeo's V6, and this, 170 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:55,880 Audi's 4.2-litre naturally-aspirated 171 00:08:56,000 --> 00:09:00,000 414-horsepower V8. 172 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,880 [engine revving] 173 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:10,760 [laughs] God, I love V8s. 174 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,760 [dramatic music] 175 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,880 James, how many World Rally Championship wins 176 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,760 does your Evo have? 177 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,120 Oh, well, I'm glad you asked me that, Hammond, 178 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,240 because actually I do know. It's 26. 179 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,440 That's impressive. That's a big number. 180 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:31,080 Here's a bigger number. Mine has 46, which is many more. 181 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,600 Jeremy, how many World Rally Championship wins 182 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,320 does your Audi have? 183 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,400 Er... 184 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,760 Let me think. It's none. 185 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,240 Yes, none. None at all. 186 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:44,320 [Richard on radio] What you have done by turning up at this challenge 187 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,520 in your Audi not-a-Quattro is exactly the same 188 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:52,000 as you turning up at your farm with a Lamborghini Aventador. 189 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,000 Yes, Lamborghini made a tractor, but that isn't one. 190 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:58,720 You could take a massive piss in a Royal Doulton tea cup. 191 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:02,880 Yes, they did make urinals, but that isn't one. 192 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,000 It's a damn sight faster than your cars. 193 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,880 Well, it's not. 194 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,080 This is the fastest car in all environments. 195 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:11,880 Well, we don't know about rallies 196 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,280 because it hasn't been in one. 197 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,120 [laughs] 198 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,040 [upbeat music] 199 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,120 [Jeremy] Can I just say, 200 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,320 it's not the most wildernessy place I've ever been to. 201 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,360 I mean, some of the scenery's pretty spectacular, 202 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,720 but roads, Armcos, telegraph poles. 203 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,280 There's a great many non-wildernessy things around 204 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:29,720 for a wilderness, yes. 205 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,360 [Jeremy] Not for the first time, I'm baffled by the views 206 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,040 of the BBC and The Guardian. 207 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:39,040 Convinced, however, that we soon would enter the wilderness, 208 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,880 we pulled up at a car accessories shop 209 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,120 to stock up on important supplies. 210 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:47,760 [Richard] I'd like to buy a windscreen wiper 211 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,160 for a Subaru Impreza WRX STi V-Limited edition. 212 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:55,040 [Jeremy] Well, I'm gonna see if I can buy some SD cards to play music. 213 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:56,800 Shit! 214 00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:00,800 [Richard] Oh! Good God! There's absolutely no grip! 215 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,040 Right. 216 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,000 -Holy crap! -[Jeremy laughs] 217 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,280 [Richard] You don't need to move your legs! 218 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:08,760 [Jeremy] I thought in the wilderness... 219 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:12,120 -[director moans] -[Jeremy] Oh. Director down. 220 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,440 -[James] Director down. -[director] Wow. 221 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,920 We'd run over and help you, but we can't. 222 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,480 -You all right? -Oh, yes. Sorry, carry on. 223 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,280 [Jeremy] Slowly and with dignity, 224 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,840 we all worked our way to the entrance. 225 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,120 [Jeremy grunts] 226 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:27,680 [beep] ...hell. 227 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,200 [Richard grunts] 228 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,360 No, that hasn't worked at all. 229 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:33,920 -Oh, God, -No, that's not worked. 230 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,160 [Jeremy] Where, mercifully, we found some friction. 231 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,840 This, I quite enjoy going across. Look at this. 232 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,320 [Richard] This is a wilderness, isn't it? 233 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,400 -[Jeremy] This is a... -[Richard] It's about survival now. 234 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,680 [Jeremy laughs] I can see what the BBC 235 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,840 -and The Guardian meant. -[Richard] Well, yeah. 236 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,520 [Jeremy] What do you need? Subaru? 237 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,600 -[Richard] Yeah. -[Jeremy] Well, what sort is it? 238 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,040 Impreza, which one? 239 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,320 -Outback, Impreza... -[Richard] WRX. 240 00:11:56,400 --> 00:12:00,320 It's a 2003 WRX STi V-Limited edition, 241 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:03,480 one of 555 made in Japan 242 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:05,920 to celebrate the 2003 Drivers Championship victory. 243 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,000 Yeah, all right. 244 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:12,720 -In the World Rally Championship. -Yes. Is it a G12, G22, G13, G23? 245 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,000 I don't know. 246 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:15,400 -You don't know? -Well, I... 247 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,240 -[Jeremy] WRX. Here it is. -[Richard] Yes? 248 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,760 [Jeremy] Got it. V10. Right, SD cards. 249 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:24,160 Erm, how do you say... [coughs] 'SD card' in Norwegian? 250 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:26,360 [Richard] Erm... 'I'm a twat'. 251 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:27,440 Hello. 252 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,120 SD card. 253 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:30,600 SD card? 254 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:35,200 Have you got them? Because my car is quite old. 255 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:37,280 Jeremy? 256 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:38,920 -[Jeremy] What is it? -Snow grip. 257 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,920 [Jeremy] Well, it's all in Norwegian. 258 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,000 [Richard] Well, I mean, it doesn't come out in Norwegian. 259 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,520 Well, but we don't know what it does. 260 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:45,800 Well, it's, I dunno. Let's think, snow grip. 261 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:46,880 Yes, I think you spray it on your tyres. 262 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:47,960 It makes tarmac really slippery. 263 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,880 -Yeah, well spray it on your feet. -[Jeremy] It's turtle wax. 264 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,080 Why would you put turtle wax on something? 265 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:52,160 No, it's made by them. 266 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:53,480 -Spray it on your feet! -Spray it on your feet. 267 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,280 -Like that. [imitates spraying] -The bottoms of your shoes. 268 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:56,640 -[Richard] Yeah. -[shop worker] These two? 269 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,920 [Jeremy] Purchases made, we headed back to the cars. 270 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,520 -[card machine beeps] -[can spraying] 271 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:01,600 [Richard] Yeah. 272 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:07,680 [Jeremy] With me using my inbuilt warm fluid dispensing system to melt a path. 273 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,120 Shuffle forwards. 274 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,680 Genius. 275 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,440 [gentle music] 276 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:23,680 [Jeremy] Back on the road, 277 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:28,440 the black-and-white scenery became even more spectacular. 278 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:29,720 Holy shit. Look at that. 279 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,760 [inspiring music] 280 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,560 But there was one blot in it. 281 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,600 Have you noticed this red Volvo that's been following us 282 00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:51,320 since we left the football pitch? 283 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:55,040 I see, yes, I saw it then as we came down there. 284 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,760 Is that definitely the same Volvo? 285 00:13:56,840 --> 00:14:00,280 [Jeremy] With the four rectangular rally lights on the front of it? 286 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:01,680 Yeah, it's the same one. 287 00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:06,640 [groans] 288 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,080 Soon, we were getting low on fuel. 289 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:15,880 How shall we buy petrol in the wilderness? 290 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,560 Perhaps we shall have to make some 291 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:20,560 out of tree bark and shale. 292 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,680 Oh, no, it's all right. Look, there's a petrol station. 293 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,240 [tense music] 294 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,960 And, while we were loading up with fuel and snacks, 295 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:33,360 I noticed something. 296 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:34,960 -James? -Yes? 297 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,520 [Jeremy] Now, we have made some left and right turns. 298 00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,040 -[James] Yes. -[Jeremy] And that, 299 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,640 you know what I'm thinking? 300 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:43,720 Yes. 301 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,120 -Mr Wilman? Yes. -Mr Wilman has provided us 302 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,960 with a backup car because he assumes that after... 303 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,040 How long have we not been filming? 304 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,480 Three years? We'll have forgotten how to drive. 305 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,920 And we'll crash into a tree, which Hammond probably will. 306 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,840 Hammond, we've worked something out. 307 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:00,120 Look. 308 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,760 -[Jeremy] That's gotta be a backup car. -[James] It's a backup car. 309 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,760 It's a Volvo three, four, five, it's the five-door. 310 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,360 My sister had one, and I'm going to have to say, 311 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:14,440 it's possibly the worst car made by Western Europe. 312 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,160 And it's been with us the whole time. 313 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,680 -Yes. -It is then, yep. It is. 314 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:23,000 [dramatic music] 315 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,680 [Jeremy] As we headed further north, 316 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,640 the weather finally turned wilderness-ish. 317 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:33,600 Yeah, snowing. Snowing. That's what it's doing. 318 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:38,200 Which put the kibosh on me demonstrating the superior speed 319 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:39,800 of my Quattro. 320 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,920 Yeah, we probably can't do a nought-to-sixty run here. 321 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,360 Can we? 'Cause it's a bit squirrelly. 322 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:46,520 This is infuriating, actually, 323 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,720 'cause I genuinely do need to put you two in your place. 324 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:53,000 I've had a lot of abuse, I've taken it well, I think, 325 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,520 but now I just need to quietly 326 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:57,000 and silently put you in your boxes. 327 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,800 Good luck with that. 328 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:02,120 [steady music] 329 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,240 [Jeremy] Happily, however, after a few, 330 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:08,560 let's be honest, wrong turns, we ended up here. 331 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:12,080 Ooh. 332 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,640 What have we come to? 333 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:20,840 [Richard] This is interesting. 334 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:22,880 That's rock. 335 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,200 -[Jeremy] It's a proper tunnel look. -[Richard] It's been concreted over. 336 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,600 [James] It's like a grotto. 337 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:27,680 [Jeremy] That's spray concrete, isn't it? 338 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:28,960 -Just onto the... -Yeah. 339 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,400 -Ooh. -Ooh. 340 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,920 Ooh. 341 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,880 So, do these lights now come on like you see in those horror films? 342 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,800 -You're just... [laughs] -Ooh. 343 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,640 [Jeremy] Ha. You know what I'm thinking? 344 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:48,480 -Er, this? -Well, it's dry. It's not skiddy. 345 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,280 -It's straight. -And it's straight. 346 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,960 So, do you want, are you proposing timed run 347 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,480 or who can achieve the highest speed? 348 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,440 [Jeremy] Well, it would have to be the highest speed, wouldn't it? 349 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:58,600 What if... 350 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,640 -[group] Whoa. -[Richard] Is that the end? 351 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,520 [Jeremy] Jesus. This is astonishing. 352 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,560 Somebody's got a sense of drama here. 353 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,800 [Richard] Wow, this is, you do, it is quite important, 354 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,440 I would say, for comfort's sake, you stop before this. 355 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,760 No, you'll be fine, though, 356 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,880 'cause there's a gravel trap to stop you before you hit it. 357 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,440 [Richard and Jeremy laughing] 358 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,880 So we're doing this individually, 'cause you can't do it at the same time. 359 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,080 -What? Oh, no. -Obviously. 360 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,800 So, we do it one at a time. 361 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:26,920 [James] How would you actually record what speed you've done? 362 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:31,640 We put a GoPro camera on the dash. 363 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,880 -[James] Yes. -And then that will reveal the speed. 364 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,560 Somebody else goes in the car with you to verify 365 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:38,800 -how fast you're seeing. -No, we're not going 366 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,560 -in a car with you. -We're not getting in a car with you 367 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,040 -driving towards a wall. -We're not! 368 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,880 [James] We know you don't know when to stop. 369 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,560 -Yes, it's gotta be GoPros. -Right. So I'll go first. 370 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,720 -Yes. -Actually, you better go second, 371 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,480 'cause it'll be difficult driving over the rubble 372 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:51,560 after he's done it. 373 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:56,960 -[slow music] -[lights clicking] 374 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,040 [Jeremy] With all the lights extinguished, 375 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,800 I lined up at the entrance of the tunnel. 376 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,080 [Richard] Are you feeling brave? 377 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,400 [Jeremy] I mean, I'm looking... That's a scary thing. 378 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,880 You can't even see where the wall is at the end. 379 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,080 You will when you get there. 380 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,880 -[Richard laughs] -That's the trouble. 381 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,160 Moments before you arrive, those... 382 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,080 As the car spins down the tunnel, 383 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,080 it'll get shorter as you knock each end off. 384 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,480 -Mm-hmm. -Until there's just your cabin going... 385 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,000 Right. I think he's doing it. 386 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,960 -[dramatic music] -[engine revving] 387 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,000 Come on, Jeremy. Be brave. 388 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:35,800 -[tyres crunching] -[engine revving] 389 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,160 Oh, there's wheel-spin there. No, I'm not getting any grip. 390 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,160 Oh, my God, the lights aren't coming on. Oh! 391 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,640 [engine revving] 392 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:47,960 Oh, sh... 393 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,520 Jesus Christ Al-bloody-mighty! 394 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:59,040 [tyres screeching] 395 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,080 [exhales] 396 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,080 Bloody hell. 397 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:11,200 How was it? 398 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,920 You're not going to enjoy it. 399 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,520 While I parked my car in a side tunnel... 400 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,880 James took his place at the start. 401 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:24,960 [Richard] Okay, you ready? 402 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,040 -Yes. -Right. 403 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,080 -Can I just go? -James May is ready 404 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,720 and will be setting off very shortly. 405 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,000 Brace. Brace. Brace. 406 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,880 Right. I've got the deck chair out and a good book. 407 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,880 [engine revving] 408 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,640 In your own time, begin. 409 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,520 [engine revving] 410 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,560 That was a brisk start for a James May. 411 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,520 [engine revving] 412 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,720 [tyres screeching] 413 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,560 [car crashing] 414 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,000 [Jeremy] Big one. Big one. Big one. 415 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,080 [crew member] Let's get the medics. 416 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,240 All right, are you okay to stand up? 417 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:22,400 Okay, hello. 418 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:23,480 Come with me. 419 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,560 I'm gonna get an ambulance in, and we're gonna check you out, okay? 420 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:30,760 [Richard] Oh. 421 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:32,880 Where is he? 422 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:37,440 I saw his head clobber the side of the B pillar. 423 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:38,960 I mean, he went flying. 424 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,800 You know, that was, he went in sideways into this wall. 425 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:44,040 [medic] The other ambulance is here, 426 00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:46,480 so they're gonna take you in so we can... 427 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,040 [James gasps] 428 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,440 [James] It hurts on the back of my back. 429 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,800 [medic] Like where? Down the centre or middle? 430 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,080 [James] Yeah, um... Yeah, exactly where your hand is. 431 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,960 [Jeremy] How are you feeling? 432 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,080 [James] A bit shit. 433 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,280 Erm, the car's [bleep], isn't it? 434 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:04,800 [Richard] It's not... It's not well. 435 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,920 [Jeremy] You won't drive it out of here. 436 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,320 [James] Okay. 437 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:09,560 I'm in the Volvo. 438 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,680 -[Richard] So nothing's broken? -[James] Doesn't seem to be. 439 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:14,040 Head's not hurt? 440 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,920 No, my neck hurts. I got a big... 441 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,000 -[Richard] Whiplash? -[James] Mm. 442 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,440 [Richard] Well, well done for not dying. 443 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,480 [siren blaring] 444 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,560 [Jeremy] After James was carted off to hospital, 445 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,000 there was only one thing we could do. 446 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,720 Stand by. Here I come. 447 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,800 [engine revving] 448 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,240 I'm putting it in gear. Right. 449 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,240 Here he comes. Here he comes. 450 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:05,400 [brakes squealing] 451 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:09,440 [Richard] Braking, braking. Yeah. 452 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,160 Yeah! 453 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,240 There has been a disturbance in the force. 454 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,040 You've arrived on all four wheels 455 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:18,400 -with your trousers still on. -I know. 456 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:19,800 Yeah, they haven't had to cut them off. 457 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,240 He's in a hospital. 458 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,560 [chiming music] 459 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:26,200 With Hammond's run done, it was time to reveal the results. 460 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:30,840 Right, I've got mine here. I'm going about 78 there. 461 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:31,920 Yeah, just off the 80 mark. 462 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,760 [Jeremy] Just shy of 80, which I think 463 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,080 -is pretty good. -It's not bad. 464 00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,120 But I'm going to surprise you now. 465 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:40,320 James May's. 466 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,520 [Richard] It's exactly the bloody same. 467 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,000 -[Jeremy] I know. -[Richard] That's uncanny. 468 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:46,080 [Jeremy] It is uncanny. 469 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:47,440 -Actually... -And he's driving a car 470 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,920 which we know is massively slower 471 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,000 -than mine, -Yeah. 472 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,600 Which means he did what you usually do 473 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,640 and accelerated for far too long. 474 00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,280 He's stolen my thing. 475 00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:02,160 Actually, this is difficult because you can't put him down as a DNF 476 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:03,720 -'cause he did finish. -Oh, he finished. 477 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:04,800 It's there. 478 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,360 But I think he, we'll have to say he lost, 479 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:10,520 because I finished and can drive home in my car. 480 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,440 But let's, but first of all, come on, you. 481 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:14,280 We're both 78. 482 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,000 And that's 32. 483 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,600 -[Richard] Yeah. -[Jeremy] And that's KPH. 484 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:20,720 A bit, yeah. 485 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:25,960 I saw what James did, and I just thought, 'No, this time'. 486 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,800 Well, I think that was a good experiment. 487 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,280 -Well done us. -It's not quite what I had in mind. 488 00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:32,360 [laughs] No, it's... 489 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:36,040 [dramatic music] 490 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:37,760 [Jeremy] With our important work done, 491 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:41,040 we could have gone to see James in the hospital, 492 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,400 but we decided it would be more interesting 493 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,960 to explore these spooky tunnels. 494 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:48,240 [Richard] What the hell? 495 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,080 Ooh. A cavern. 496 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,520 There's one down there! 497 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,320 [Richard] Wait a minute. 498 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:03,880 Holy cow. 499 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,000 It's a Cold War submarine base. 500 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,800 No, it's not. It is, it's a sub base. 501 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,840 And it's full of... 502 00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,200 Marine, with gun, Marine. 503 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,240 What, where, what are they doing? 504 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:28,320 They're Special Forces. 505 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,600 [dramatic music] 506 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,760 Right. These are landing craft. 507 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:42,120 He doesn't look very happy. 508 00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:48,000 I think we're in the way. 509 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,080 I'm very sorry! 510 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,000 Oh, what's round here? 511 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,480 Hammond, we may have driven into an office. 512 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:03,800 [Richard] What? 513 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,000 [brakes squealing] 514 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,320 [Jeremy] The Special Forces are looking at us. 515 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,880 Can I just ask, are you Norwegian? 516 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:14,360 -Sorry? -Are you Norwegian? 517 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,800 [soldier] I'm not Norwegian, no, no. 518 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:17,280 Where are you from? 519 00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:19,160 -[soldier] The Netherlands. -You're Dutch? 520 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,640 [soldier] Dutch. All Dutch. 521 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,600 Dutch? Everyone's Dutch? 522 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,040 -Everyone is Dutch. -Of course. 523 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:31,120 Sit rep, the Dutch and the Norwegians are at war. 524 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,000 The day's just got weirder. 525 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,120 -[bumper thumping] -Oh, heavens! 526 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:37,600 [soldier] Hello? 527 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:39,920 [Richard] Jeremy, you're pulling 528 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,000 a top-secret submarine's hosepipe with you. 529 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:44,000 Ah. 530 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,080 [soldier speaking indistinctly] 531 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:48,600 [Richard] Yeah. Sorry. 532 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:54,040 -They're Dutch. -What? 533 00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:55,120 They're Dutch. 534 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,560 [engines humming] 535 00:25:58,120 --> 00:25:59,120 [Richard laughs] 536 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,760 What's staggering me is not one of them has said, 537 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:03,880 -'What on earth... -'What are you doing here?' 538 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,080 ...are you doing here?' 539 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:09,880 My apologies. 540 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,400 Sorry. Sorry. 541 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,440 -Sorry. -Thank you. 542 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:16,720 -You're welcome. -Good luck. Carry on. 543 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:17,960 [Jeremy] I don't know who's side we're on. 544 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:21,240 When we come out, are we on the Norwegian side or the Dutch side? 545 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,960 [Richard] I'm gonna bear the flag of whoever's holding the gun. 546 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,200 [Jeremy laughs] 547 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,960 [gentle music] 548 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,920 [Richard] The next morning, James was still in hospital. 549 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,880 So Jeremy and I got back on the road, 550 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:41,880 our thoughts very much on the tragic events of the day before. 551 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,320 It's funny how these things affect you afterwards. 552 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,920 I mean, that was traumatic, 553 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,920 running down that tunnel and seeing at the end of it 554 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,800 that fabulous car wounded. 555 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,960 [gentle music] 556 00:26:58,040 --> 00:26:59,320 [Jeremy] I'm just thinking, Hammond. 557 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:01,320 You know, you've crashed countless cars over the years 558 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:02,560 and it doesn't really matter 'cause they're just 559 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,920 metal and plastic and glass, 560 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,200 but the Evo's more than that, isn't it? 561 00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,560 Yeah, it's not a car that you crash 562 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,040 or ding in the usual way. 563 00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:13,880 It's a car that gets injured 564 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,920 'cause there's so much passion 565 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,200 wrapped up in it from a lot of people. 566 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:22,040 And what's worse for me is I've lost my playmate. 567 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:24,920 Er... 568 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,280 Yeah, I've lost my car's natural sparring partner, 569 00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:31,280 the one car that could keep up with it, live with it. 570 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:32,800 I'm in an Audi Quattro! 571 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:34,480 It's not an Audi Quattro. 572 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,200 It's not a rally car! 573 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,240 [Jeremy] Stunned by Hammond's criticism, 574 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,120 I made a proposal. 575 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:46,960 What if I could find a rudimentary wilderness workshop 576 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,040 and turn it into a rally car? 577 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,000 All right, well, if you can find one and do that, 578 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,320 I'll do the one thing I can do to improve my car 579 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,840 and give it more power, then we're on. 580 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:02,720 So if I yobbify my car and you up the power of yours, 581 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,520 then they become natural rivals. 582 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:06,680 [Richard] Then we are talking. 583 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,360 Right. Set sat nav. 584 00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:10,680 [dramatic music] 585 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,240 With our modding plan agreed on, 586 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:17,120 we hunkered down and headed for the Swedish border. 587 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:20,080 [dramatic music] 588 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:26,920 [James] Socket or spanner? 589 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,280 -Socket. -This one? 590 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,200 [James] Back where we'd stayed the night, 591 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:35,200 I was now out of hospital, nursing a broken rib 592 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:39,080 and trying to save the really badly wounded patient. 593 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,800 Starting from the front, underneath there, 594 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,240 the radiator is broken and is leaking. 595 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,400 The oil cooler is mangled. 596 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,680 This is the intercooler pipe. 597 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,880 As you can see, the air flow through that is not going to be 598 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,800 as the manufacturer intended. 599 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:02,360 This brake calliper actually cracked in the impact 600 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:03,880 and now leaks. 601 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:08,240 This is the drive shaft, which is... 602 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,320 Ah, God. [groans] 603 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,720 That is very broken. 604 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,280 Body work is mangled. 605 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:15,880 This wheel is in the wrong position. 606 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,680 It's not pointing the right way. 607 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:23,560 The exhaust, it's all now several inches further that way. 608 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:29,200 This car is extremely badly wounded, but it isn't dead. 609 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:30,360 Let's hope... 610 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,320 Ow. I shouldn't have done that. 611 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:34,720 ...we can push it back into shape. 612 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,200 [slow music] 613 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,120 [Jeremy] Many miles ahead, 614 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,440 we were in yet another winter wonderland. 615 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,400 That is pretty impressive. 616 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,000 [slow music] 617 00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:01,160 But there were issues, chief among which was 618 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:04,800 the Quattro's satellite navigation system. 619 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,960 [automated voice] You are not on a digitized road. 620 00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:10,560 Oh, I am. I am on a digitized road. 621 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:11,640 Don't be stupid. 622 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,320 [automated voice] Unable to provide recommended route from here. 623 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,320 You are not on a digitized road. 624 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,520 [Jeremy] Yeah, my sat nav is saying I'm six kilometres 625 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:23,000 into the wood on our left. 626 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,720 Well, we're in the wilderness, 'Europe's great last wilderness'. 627 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:28,440 [chiming music] 628 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,640 [Jeremy] I suspected that, this far north, 629 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:33,680 sat nav struggled to see any satellites. 630 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,280 But there was no time to check that out 631 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:39,200 because of another problem. 632 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,440 [dramatic music] 633 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,000 [groans] Terror. 634 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:47,240 The speed of the oncoming snowploughs. 635 00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:48,600 No. Oh, no. 636 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,400 -Oh. -[wind whipping] 637 00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:52,840 That is doing 170. 638 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,960 They are properly committed, aren't they? Here he comes. 639 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,680 [Jeremy] Yeah. It's Kimi Raikkonen's winter job. 640 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:04,400 Eventually, though, we managed to find the Swedish border, 641 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:09,000 cross it, and reach the town I'd been aiming for. 642 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:11,120 This is the town, Hammond. This is the town. 643 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,400 There will be a workshop here. 644 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,000 I'd say there's a good chance there will be. 645 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,320 They'll have snow machines and ploughs and things 646 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:19,080 that need mending all the time. 647 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,440 [Richard] Sure enough, we found a friendly local 648 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,120 who lent us his workshop. 649 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:29,880 And, after buying some parts at a wilderness accessories store... 650 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:31,240 Tape... 651 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,120 We both got down to work. 652 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:38,240 Me with some engine-mapping software, and Jeremy not. 653 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:41,680 [tools clattering] 654 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,680 [saw whirring] 655 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,320 [tools clattering] 656 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:50,800 [Jeremy] How's your mapping coming along? 657 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,760 I'm done. I'm onto physical stuff now. 658 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:54,040 I'm not doing a lot. 659 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:55,840 You can really change the map that quickly? 660 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:57,120 [Richard] Yeah. 661 00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,440 [Jeremy] So you've just entirely changed this car's brain? 662 00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:00,880 [Richard] The main thing is we're in the Arctic now. 663 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,640 The air is cold and dense, 664 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,280 much colder and denser than where this is set up for. 665 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,640 So that means it's got more oxygen in it. 666 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:08,720 -So there's more... -The air has? 667 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:10,120 Yes, the cold air is heavier, denser, 668 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:11,600 sits there with more oxygen in it. 669 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,360 So that's what you need to mix with the petrol vapor 670 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,360 to make lovely, big, rich, juicy explosions in there. 671 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:18,720 -That's amazing. -Yeah. Right. 672 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:19,880 -I'm going to... -James is going 673 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,560 to be horrified when he gets here to discover that my jack... 674 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:24,760 Where's my jack gone? 675 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,040 Nowhere. 676 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:27,240 Look at that. 677 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:28,320 -[Jeremy laughs] -Moth. 678 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,360 [James] Meanwhile, back in Norway, 679 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,920 progress in my workshop wasn't so good. 680 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,960 [groans] 681 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:41,760 That bit should be there. 682 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,680 That should be rectangular. 683 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,240 [sighs] 684 00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:52,080 Wow. 685 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,560 Okay, what next? 686 00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:00,240 [tools clanging] 687 00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,160 [slow music] 688 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:15,240 [Jeremy] The next morning, there was still no sign of James. 689 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,320 But Hammond and I had had a productive night. 690 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,600 [engine revving] 691 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:38,520 The yobbification program is complete. 692 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,880 We have the Audi rallying livery. 693 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:45,920 We have the full Pink Floyd lighting rig. 694 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,520 And there's no denying that it's a Quattro now 695 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,440 because look, it says 'Quattro' everywhere on it. 696 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,480 [Richard] Where are my keys? 697 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:58,960 I put them in that bath tub, so you won't lose them. There. 698 00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:05,320 Oh. Oh, brilliant. 699 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,400 Utter, utter... 700 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:10,480 Has it frozen? 701 00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:14,880 Yes, Jeremy, the bath full of water has frozen 702 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,000 with my keys in. 703 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:19,520 I tried to stop it freezing by weeing in it. 704 00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,120 Yeah, that would explain the yellow ice. 705 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:26,800 You're sick in the head. 706 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:30,920 But it's funny, it's very funny. 707 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,040 -Well done, really. -It is? Cause there they are. 708 00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:34,200 -[Richard] Yeah, there they are. -[Jeremy] It's extra, I didn't... 709 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:35,640 And yet they're not. 710 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,920 It's just, it was cold last night, wasn't it? 711 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,840 -[Richard] Wasn't it just? -[Jeremy] Isn't it? 712 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:48,000 [engine revving] 713 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,520 [chiming music] 714 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,800 [Richard] Having eventually freed my key, 715 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:59,200 I was able to savour the fruits of my labours. 716 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:00,840 [engine revving] 717 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:02,440 [Richard laughs] 718 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,560 [dramatic music] 719 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,800 Right, my laptop wizardry has taken the power up 720 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,000 to 356 horsepower. 721 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,000 [engine revving] 722 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,760 I've upgraded the exhaust, as you can hear. 723 00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:19,120 [engine revving] 724 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:24,120 Induction air filter kit. Launch control. Anti-lag on the turbo. 725 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,160 And the best livery of all... 726 00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:30,080 [engine revving] 727 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,520 This isn't just the best car here, 728 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,160 this is now the best car ever. 729 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,880 [engine revving] 730 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:44,080 I am like a dog with two dicks and a super yacht. 731 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,960 [engine revving] 732 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,200 [Jeremy] Meanwhile, a few miles away, 733 00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:53,480 I'd come across something rather special. 734 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:59,440 A frozen lake with a race track carved onto it. 735 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,840 [dramatic music] 736 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,880 And it was completely deserted. 737 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,760 Until it suddenly wasn't anymore. 738 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:16,160 [engine revving] 739 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,800 Yeah, looks like Hammond has got his keys back. 740 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:23,960 -[engine revving] -[dramatic music] 741 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:32,760 [engines revving] 742 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,120 Oh, my word. Come on! 743 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:45,520 What a machine! 744 00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,000 Obviously, I haven't touched the engine. 745 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,120 There was no need. It's already a masterpiece. 746 00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:55,760 But I have fitted a magnificent new exhaust system. 747 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:57,800 [engine revving] 748 00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:00,360 Listen to that V8 now! 749 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,600 Oh, it's howling. 750 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:07,520 -[engine revving] -[dramatic music] 751 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:10,880 [Richard gasping] 752 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:13,840 [Richard laughing] 753 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:15,560 I could crash when I like. 754 00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:17,080 This is my idea of heaven! 755 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,920 [Jeremy] Opposite lock. Scandi-flick it in. 756 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,000 Holding it... 757 00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:24,080 [Jeremy laughing] 758 00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,680 This just flatters the incompetent. 759 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:28,440 I am now fully Swedish. 760 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,760 [engine revving] 761 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:34,560 [Richard] Getting close. [laughing] 762 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,120 [Jeremy] Right. Hammond, you think you wanna come past, do you? 763 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,440 Now I'm going to unleash my secret weapon. 764 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,760 [engine revving] 765 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:45,000 Ready? 766 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:46,880 [Richard] Come on, Clarkson. 767 00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:50,840 -[fire blasting] -[dramatic music] 768 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,120 What the hell? 769 00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:53,840 -[Jeremy laughing] -[Richard] Whoa. 770 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:55,080 [Jeremy] You weren't ready for that! 771 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:57,360 Businessman's car, my ass. 772 00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:03,600 It's my new handmade exhaust system. 773 00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:06,360 And it's designed to prevent you from overtaking. 774 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,200 [Richard] We're on a frozen lake. 775 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:11,200 If you melt it, it's just a lake. 776 00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:14,480 Whoa! 777 00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:16,760 [Jeremy] Once I'd finished barbecuing my colleague, 778 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,840 we pulled over to inspect the damage he'd done 779 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,080 when he'd headbutted a snow bank. 780 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:23,680 I've lost half the front of it! 781 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,880 [Jeremy] It looks now like it's been in a pub brawl. 782 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,040 -Anyway... -More work to be done. 783 00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:31,600 [Jeremy] Hammond then went off to find the tools he'd need 784 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:34,800 to mend his car and while he was gone, 785 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,680 I modified one of his modifications. 786 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,520 ♪ Anytime, anyplace, anywhere ♪ 787 00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:44,680 ♪ There's a wonderful drink you can share ♪ 788 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,280 ♪ It's Martin ♪ 789 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,160 Before Hammond noticed my handiwork, 790 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:55,640 we received news that Captain Slow was about to arrive. 791 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:59,600 And this caused us to wonder, in what? 792 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:01,800 I'm strangely conflicted 793 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:05,640 because I desperately want him to be in the Volvo 794 00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:07,760 and I desperately want him to be in the Evo. 795 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:08,840 Yeah, I know what you mean. 796 00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:10,640 I want him to be in the Volvo because he deserves 797 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:11,760 -to be in the Volvo. -Yeah. 798 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,080 -Just for hurting the Evo. -Yeah. 799 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,400 [triumphant music] 800 00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,000 -No way. -[Richard] Oh, wow. 801 00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:25,080 No way. 802 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,960 [Richard laughs] 803 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:31,640 I am elated! 804 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,000 Hello. 805 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:38,880 [Jeremy] We are pleased and angry simultaneously. 806 00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:40,040 [James groaning] 807 00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:41,200 [Jeremy] It's not pretty. 808 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,040 [Richard] No. It's like Frankenstein's Evo. 809 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:44,920 -[Jeremy] And it lives as well. -[door thudding] 810 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,680 What was broken on it? 811 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,960 Well, the intercooler, radiator, oil cooler, 812 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:53,040 wheel wishbone, top wishbone, drive shaft, 813 00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:55,680 chassis rail, door, 814 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,640 exhaust, engine out of alignment. 815 00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,920 -You really did hurt. -[Richard] It's worse than that. 816 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,000 Half the people in the world hate you 817 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:04,200 -because you destroyed an Evo. -Mm-hmm. 818 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,080 And people, it divides into people who like Subarus 819 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:07,280 and like Evos. 820 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,920 But the other half of the world also hates you 821 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,680 because you took away the Subaru's competitor. 822 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,160 -So, everybody hates you. -Erm, It's still here. 823 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,200 -Yes. -But you have missed a lot of testing. 824 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:20,520 We've established that the Audi is faster than the Subaru, in the tunnel. 825 00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:22,600 And we've established that it's much more fun 826 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,280 -on a frozen lake and faster. -Well, no. 827 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:25,680 -We haven't established that. -We have. 828 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:26,760 -[Richard] Well, we haven't. -We have. 829 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:28,880 -We haven't. -Other things you need to know, James. 830 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,440 -Yes? -Norway is at war with Holland. 831 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,040 -[Richard] Oh, God, yeah. Watch out. -Is it? 832 00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:34,600 [Richard] Real surprise. 833 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,160 So, where are your cars? 834 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:37,200 [Richard] Well... 835 00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:38,320 -[Jeremy clears throat] -[Richard clears throat] 836 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:39,600 Oh, that's actually it? 837 00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:40,640 -Yes! -Oh, yeah. We've been busy. 838 00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:41,760 -Good on you. -We've done. 839 00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,040 I'm telling you, we have been really hard at work. 840 00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:47,200 We've done important testing and this. 841 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,160 [James] Anyway, what are we doing next? 842 00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:50,960 [slow music] 843 00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,640 [Jeremy] Mr Wilman gave us the answer to that. 844 00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:56,200 We were going to see which of our cars was the best 845 00:40:56,320 --> 00:41:01,360 at skijoring, a sport in which you race round a frozen lake 846 00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:02,960 while towing a skier. 847 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:07,880 Mad? [laughs] You don't even know the half of it. 848 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:11,880 One of them has only got one leg. 849 00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:13,000 What? 850 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,480 But did he lose the other one doing this? 851 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:20,840 [Jeremy] Good afternoon, gentlemen. 852 00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:22,000 -Hello. -Good afternoon. 853 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:23,600 Hi. Good afternoon. 854 00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:28,920 [Jeremy] There then followed a typically verbose Scandinavian conversation. 855 00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:32,000 Do you do it here because there aren't very many mountains to ski on? 856 00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:33,560 Yeah. 857 00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:35,000 How do you win? 858 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,520 The fastest wins. 859 00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,160 [Jeremy] Soon, though, the chat started to flow. 860 00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:46,600 You see that snow that, what's that snowmobile towing? 861 00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:48,840 [Richard] It's taking a shed out for a drive. 862 00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:50,000 [skier] For fishing. 863 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:51,800 -[James] What? -[skier] For fishing, ice fishing. 864 00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:52,960 [James] Oh, it's like a fishing hut. 865 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:55,040 -[skier] Ice-fishing hut. -[Richard] Oh, is it on skis? 866 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:56,120 [skier] Yes. 867 00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:57,400 -[James] So it's a caravan? -[Jeremy] So, that's like a caravan. 868 00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:58,600 -It's a caravan. -Yeah, but on skis! 869 00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:00,120 [laughs] That's quite good. 870 00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:03,560 [Jeremy] Distraction over, we got back to the job in hand. 871 00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,000 How fast do normally go? 872 00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:06,520 120. 873 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:07,640 -[James] What? -[Richard] What? 874 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:09,840 -120. -I wouldn't do that without a skier. 875 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:11,400 -That's kilometres an hour, yes? -Kilometres per hour, yeah. 876 00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:13,440 -But it's still... -That's still 70. 877 00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:14,520 Yes, I wouldn't... 878 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:16,000 -70 miles an hour? -Yeah. 879 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:17,080 Closer to 80. 880 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:18,160 -What? -Yeah. 881 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,080 But what? We've never done this. 882 00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:21,440 Yeah, so we won't go that fast, 883 00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:22,600 but you can still enjoy it. 884 00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,800 -That's sort of up to us, really. -That's the problem, it's up to us! 885 00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:25,960 [skier laughs] 886 00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:27,640 We have done a little bit of driving around this track. 887 00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:28,760 Well, I haven't. 888 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:30,480 And when you're following the other one, 889 00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:32,920 he doesn't know what he's gonna do in the corner, 890 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:34,880 how he's gonna do it, is he gonna turn early... 891 00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:36,160 Well, I don't know what the car's going to do. 892 00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:38,680 Yeah, but your cars are intact. 893 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:40,000 -I mean, not... -My Evo. 894 00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:41,880 -No, his isn't, yeah. -But your cars. 895 00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:44,760 Yeah, he just looked at the middle pedal and thought, 896 00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:45,840 'No, I don't need that'. 897 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,920 [Jeremy] Still not convinced this was a good idea, 898 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,680 we lined up for the start. 899 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,920 [dramatic music] 900 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,680 It's the second stupid thing we've done on this trip. 901 00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,840 How cold do you think it's going to be on skis 902 00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:02,120 at 80 miles an hour? 903 00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:05,120 Unimaginably cold. 904 00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:08,520 Will there be a dribble of warmth from my exhaust 905 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,000 to keep him warm, do you think? 906 00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:11,840 Yes, but you don't want to cross the finish line 907 00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:13,480 with some bacon on the end of a string. 908 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:16,320 [dramatic music] 909 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:18,760 [engines revving] 910 00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:20,400 Here we go. 911 00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:25,280 -[engines revving] -[dramatic music] 912 00:43:26,680 --> 00:43:28,280 There's a man in the rear-view mirror 913 00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:29,920 and he's keeping up with me. 914 00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,400 That's alarming. 915 00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:34,640 -[dramatic music] -[engine revving] 916 00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:35,880 Where does it go? 917 00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:42,960 [Jeremy] I'm cutting off Hammond. 918 00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:44,560 [engine revving] 919 00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:45,760 Oh, I've bollocks'ed that. 920 00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,200 -Oh, sorry. -[engine revving] 921 00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:55,880 65 miles per hour, and he's still there. 922 00:43:55,960 --> 00:44:01,240 -[skis scraping] -[dramatic music] 923 00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:06,120 This is terrifying. I'd rather drive in that tunnel again. 924 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:10,880 -[dramatic music] -[engine revving] 925 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:16,080 And that's 80 miles an hour we've just achieved. 926 00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:17,960 I want to catch Jeremy more than anything else 927 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:20,720 in the world, but I don't wanna kill someone else doing it. 928 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:24,000 [engine revving] 929 00:44:24,720 --> 00:44:27,040 Hammond's gaining, he is gaining. 930 00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,760 He wants me to go faster. He's bloody nuts. 931 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,320 [dramatic music] 932 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:33,880 I went wide! 933 00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:35,200 -No! -[engine revving] 934 00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:36,680 No! 935 00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:40,080 [laughs] I have the lead! 936 00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:44,480 -[dramatic music] -[engine revving] 937 00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:48,240 [James] That was a mistake. 938 00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:50,360 [skis scraping] 939 00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:51,720 [skier grunting] 940 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:53,400 [James] Shit, I've lost him. 941 00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:57,560 -Right, last lap. -[engine revving] 942 00:44:57,640 --> 00:44:59,400 Through the chicaney bit. 943 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:02,000 [engine revving] 944 00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:02,920 Come on! 945 00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:06,800 Mapping's good, but it doesn't beat cubes. 946 00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:10,640 And I have a lot of cubes. 947 00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:13,640 [engine revving] 948 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:19,160 [laughs] Come on! 949 00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:21,880 The power of the V8 is mighty! 950 00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:23,280 [Jeremy laughs] 951 00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:24,560 Yes! 952 00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:26,560 [laughs] I got him back! 953 00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,120 Did he, oh, I forget to check. He's still there. 954 00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,320 [Jeremy laughing] 955 00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:36,880 [engine humming] 956 00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:38,040 Where is he? 957 00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:43,320 Oh, thank God. 958 00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:47,800 [Jeremy] Having bid a fond farewell to these foolish men... 959 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:49,320 -Well, thank you. -Guys, yeah. 960 00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:50,600 -[James] Yes, really. -It was a pleasure. 961 00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:51,680 -Thank you very much. -[Jeremy] Thank you. Thank you. 962 00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:52,760 It was a terrifying experience. 963 00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:53,880 I don't know what the Swedish for 'thank you' is, 964 00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:55,960 -but thank you. -A great spectacle and incredibly brave. 965 00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,120 -[dramatic music] -[Jeremy] We continued on our way. 966 00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:01,920 [steady music] 967 00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:14,640 And an hour later, something dawned on me. 968 00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:19,120 This is the first time since we set off 969 00:46:19,200 --> 00:46:22,200 that I've genuinely felt like I'm in a wilderness. 970 00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:25,720 I mean, there's just no evidence anywhere 971 00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:27,320 of man's existence. 972 00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:30,960 There's no town. There's no village. 973 00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:34,440 There's no... hotel? 974 00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:42,440 Chaps, I'm loving the wilderness, but where are we going to spend the night? 975 00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:43,640 [Richard] I've been thinking the same. 976 00:46:43,720 --> 00:46:47,520 It's very nice to feel we're finally out there, 977 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:49,680 but there's no hotels. 978 00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:51,960 It is getting quite dark as well. 979 00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:55,120 Yeah. Well, why don't you turn your light on? 980 00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:56,280 I say 'light'. 981 00:46:57,520 --> 00:46:59,080 [James] I have got my light on. 982 00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,400 [Jeremy] Would you like to see my lights, James? 983 00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:05,960 [James] Well, I'm gonna say no, but, yes, there you go, well done. 984 00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:07,720 [laughs] 985 00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:11,120 [Jeremy] We drove for hours 986 00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:13,240 and there was still no sign of life. 987 00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:15,800 [slow music] 988 00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:21,040 [Jeremy] It's minus six-and-a-half degrees out there. 989 00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:24,160 [James] Seriously, what are we going to do? 990 00:47:24,240 --> 00:47:26,720 [slow music] 991 00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:29,040 Come on. 992 00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:34,840 [Jeremy] Eventually, though, as we approached a wood, 993 00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:38,440 we saw in my headlights the outline of a building. 994 00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,080 -[Jeremy] I wonder what it is? -[Richard] I don't know. 995 00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:52,360 -[footsteps crunching] -This is like a survival hut. 996 00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:55,640 This is left so that, if you're stuck in the wilderness, 997 00:47:55,720 --> 00:47:56,720 you come in and help yourself. 998 00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:58,160 It's got all the basics. 999 00:47:58,240 --> 00:47:59,800 [Jeremy] So this is like a Sami hut? 1000 00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:01,160 [James] A pile of wood. 1001 00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:02,640 [Jeremy] Meat! 1002 00:48:02,720 --> 00:48:03,720 [Richard] Well, it'll all be frozen, wouldn't it? 1003 00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:05,880 Yeah, the meat'll be fine. We can light a fire. 1004 00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:08,080 Yeah, we need to get the fire lit. 1005 00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:13,280 [fire crackling] 1006 00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:18,280 -[pan clanging] -[James groaning] 1007 00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:20,880 [Jeremy] Are you still going on about your ribs? 1008 00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:22,720 [Richard] Hello! Look at this. 1009 00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,640 -Oh, bollocks. -You massive tit. 1010 00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:26,720 -What, did he dropped it? -[meat sizzling] 1011 00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:28,440 [James] Yeah, but it doesn't matter. 1012 00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:31,040 Yeah! Meaty treat! 1013 00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:32,360 Oh, bloody hell, that's fabulous. 1014 00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:35,560 -Isn't it? -Yeah. Mmm, mmm, mmm. 1015 00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:37,400 [Richard] We've had a little adventure out in the wilderness. 1016 00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,880 [Jeremy] It's true, we are living a wilderness lifestyle. 1017 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:43,440 But we could be eating Rudolph. And who are the other ones? 1018 00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:46,480 Donner and Blitz, who were the other reindeers? 1019 00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,360 Flatulence, Ball Bag and Stingray. 1020 00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:50,000 Steve. Robert. 1021 00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:52,720 -[Jeremy] Rudolph. -[Richard] Yeah. 1022 00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:55,080 -[Jeremy] Donner and Kebab. -[James] Alimony. 1023 00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:57,000 [Jeremy laughs] There wasn't one called Alimony! 1024 00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:58,080 [James] Bob. 1025 00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:01,680 [slow music] 1026 00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:08,320 [birds chirping] 1027 00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:11,120 [door squeaking] 1028 00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,720 -[panting] -[door thudding] 1029 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,280 [sighs] 1030 00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:26,440 -[crowd chattering] -[birds chirping] 1031 00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:39,960 [Jeremy] Guys? 1032 00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,480 [crowd chattering] 1033 00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:49,920 [Richard] What the hell is that? 1034 00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:54,080 This turf hut is the central part of the camp. 1035 00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:57,040 One of these was all, it's a, we've slept in a museum exhibit. 1036 00:49:58,560 --> 00:49:59,560 There's a gift shop. 1037 00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:02,360 [Jeremy] Jesus. 1038 00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:03,520 They've got little... 1039 00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:05,760 [Richard] There's a petting... They're petting reindeers. 1040 00:50:05,840 --> 00:50:07,120 [James] Now, wait, they don't know... 1041 00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:09,440 -[Jeremy] No, they think... -...that we've been in there all night. 1042 00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:11,040 I haven't got any trousers on. 1043 00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:15,640 Might I suggest you go and put some trousers on. 1044 00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:16,920 -Yeah. -We can pack up. 1045 00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,920 'Cause what I'm going to do is sidle back to the cars. 1046 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:21,960 [James] Oh, I enjoyed looking at the hut. 1047 00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:23,080 -Yeah. -Did you? 1048 00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:26,080 -That was interesting, I think, Hammond. -[Richard] Yeah, a really good look. 1049 00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:28,000 Well worth 10 or 15 minutes of your time, isn't it? 1050 00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:32,000 Again, we thought we were in the wilderness. 1051 00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:35,160 [crowd chattering] 1052 00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:39,480 [Jeremy] Hammond! 1053 00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:59,480 Oh, I can only imagine 1054 00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:02,040 it's some sort of freak weather event, 1055 00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:03,640 like a shaft of cold that... 1056 00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:06,360 I mean, it could have hit any of us. 1057 00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:07,480 But it's hit you. 1058 00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:10,720 Now, if you get hit by one of those blasts of ice 1059 00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:12,840 -round these parts, it's a lucky... -You did this! 1060 00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:15,320 -Well... -Because I put your keys 1061 00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:16,920 in ice, you put my entire car... 1062 00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:18,520 How did you do that? 1063 00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:21,520 [Richard] Slowly and whilst grinning. Sorry. [laughs] 1064 00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:23,680 It's pretty, though, isn't it? Look! 1065 00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:26,040 [Jeremy] It's undrivable, is what it is. 1066 00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:28,400 -[Richard] For now. -[James] It's an incredible effect. 1067 00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:29,600 [Richard] But by June... 1068 00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:34,800 You are gonna help me get the ice off that car. 1069 00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:38,720 I am. And also, I'm not. 1070 00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:41,800 [engine revving] 1071 00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,600 [dramatic music] 1072 00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:47,800 [Richard] What do you think Jeremy will do 1073 00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:50,200 to solve the little conundrum I may have given him? 1074 00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:53,600 How long will it be, do you think, before he says, 1075 00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:55,960 'Right, I'll set fire to it'? 1076 00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:58,080 Half a minute? 1077 00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:03,080 [flame whooshing] 1078 00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:05,960 Yes! This is good. 1079 00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,960 -Morning. -[flame whooshing] 1080 00:52:13,040 --> 00:52:14,760 This is gonna take forever. 1081 00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:17,760 [gasoline trickling] 1082 00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:20,640 [flame whooshing] 1083 00:52:20,720 --> 00:52:21,720 [blows] 1084 00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:26,000 I've overdone it. 1085 00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:29,040 Well, he could just talk about it a lot 1086 00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:31,400 'cause all that hot air would eventually melt the ice 1087 00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:33,040 on the car, wouldn't it? 1088 00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:35,440 [Richard laughs] 1089 00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:36,880 Traditional Sami fire extinguisher. 1090 00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:40,880 [fire extinguisher blasting] 1091 00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:46,880 [steady music] 1092 00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:49,200 [James] Hammond and I headed further east 1093 00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:52,000 through the empty landscape, 1094 00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:53,960 with me still a bit dumbstruck 1095 00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:58,200 about how the Evo had come back from the dead. 1096 00:52:58,280 --> 00:52:59,880 Think what happened to the front of this car. 1097 00:52:59,960 --> 00:53:03,920 The front wishbone was bent back on itself, but here we are, 1098 00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:08,480 temperature absolutely stable, steering rock steady. 1099 00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:12,120 I wouldn't have believed it. 1100 00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:15,680 [steady music] 1101 00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,280 If we were in an old black-and-white British newsreel, 1102 00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:20,840 it would be described as a plucky chap. 1103 00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:22,920 But it's more than a plucky chap. 1104 00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:24,240 I mean, it's just incredible. 1105 00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:26,240 [engine revving] 1106 00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:30,920 Soon, Richard and I were nearing the mining town of Kiruna. 1107 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,840 I don't know much about it apart from the fact 1108 00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:38,200 that it hosts the world's largest underground iron ore mine. 1109 00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:43,280 Which suggests it's not pretty? 1110 00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:45,400 I'm not expecting Bourton-on-the-Water. 1111 00:53:46,240 --> 00:53:47,920 [James] No. Agreed. 1112 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,160 Then again, iron ore is very important 1113 00:53:50,240 --> 00:53:52,240 and Swedish iron ore was very significant 1114 00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:55,280 to Britain's success in the Industrial Revolution. 1115 00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:56,360 History lecture. 1116 00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:58,520 [James] And once the Darbys had worked out how 1117 00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:00,400 to smelt iron with coke rather than having 1118 00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:03,720 to burn charcoal made from wood, we were away. 1119 00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:05,760 There's actually a bit more to it than that. 1120 00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:08,680 That was an over-simplification. 1121 00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:11,040 And yet, still, somehow more than enough. 1122 00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:14,600 [slow music] 1123 00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:17,800 [James] Eventually, we arrived in the town itself. 1124 00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:21,800 That must be it. That must be the actual mine. 1125 00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:25,040 [menacing music] 1126 00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:41,360 [James] Well, one good thing, as this is a town, 1127 00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:43,000 and it's a sort of practical town, 1128 00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:45,240 we can stock up on all the stuff we might need 1129 00:54:45,320 --> 00:54:47,720 to continue our journey through the wilderness. 1130 00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:51,200 [Jeremy] Meanwhile, back at Ice Station Zebra, 1131 00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:53,920 I was finally making progress. 1132 00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:55,000 [hammer clicking] 1133 00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:57,120 Fire, no use at all. 1134 00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:00,120 Hammer, only thing that works. 1135 00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:03,160 [tool clatters] 1136 00:55:03,240 --> 00:55:05,080 Ooh! Movement! 1137 00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:10,120 [door thudding] 1138 00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:11,560 [exhales] 1139 00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:13,560 See, my mother would look at that hole there in the window 1140 00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:14,920 and go, 'Yes, that's clear. 1141 00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:16,840 We can go to school now, Jeremy'. 1142 00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:20,280 [engine rumbles] 1143 00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:21,920 Yes. We are away. 1144 00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:25,120 [James] Over in Kiruna, 1145 00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:29,560 we had found the most manly shop in the world. 1146 00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:32,320 -Oh, right, this... [laughs] -Oh, hang on. 1147 00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:33,880 Whoa! 1148 00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:35,160 -No! -[tools clanging] 1149 00:55:35,240 --> 00:55:37,480 That says mining town! 1150 00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:39,400 'What do you mine?' 'Iron-ore'. 1151 00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:42,120 -That must... [groans] -I'm going to put my car back together. 1152 00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:43,200 [Richard laughs] 1153 00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:44,280 That is... 1154 00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:46,440 Have we shrunk or is everybody bigger than us here? 1155 00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:48,280 -I dunno. -Yeah. 1156 00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:52,400 I haven't got my glasses. 1157 00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:55,600 [James] It's an ax. 1158 00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:57,200 [Richard] Yeah. [laughs] 1159 00:55:57,280 --> 00:55:58,880 Oh, hang on, these are like strops. 1160 00:55:58,960 --> 00:56:01,880 This is if we get stuck, which we could 'cause we're gonna be in the wilderness. 1161 00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:03,040 -Easy. -These are strops 1162 00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:05,800 and winches and things. A ratchet strap. 1163 00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:07,320 And we are prepared. 1164 00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:08,400 [chiming music] 1165 00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:10,880 [James] With our survival shopping done, 1166 00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:13,120 we went for a well-earned bite to eat. 1167 00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:16,520 It's funny, I don't generally go for pizzas, 1168 00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:17,600 but sometimes... 1169 00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:19,560 Oh, hello. 1170 00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:21,240 You made it. 1171 00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:23,480 Oh. 1172 00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:34,080 What? 1173 00:56:36,240 --> 00:56:38,440 -Would you like some pizza? -Yes. 1174 00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:40,920 -Did you get the ice off? -Yeah, mostly. 1175 00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,200 I bet it was fun. That was a proper challenge. 1176 00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:44,360 What did you do? 1177 00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:47,080 -Flame thrower, chisel. -We guessed fire. 1178 00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:49,640 I hope you enjoy your pizza. 1179 00:56:49,720 --> 00:56:53,680 Shall we call a truce on silly ice-related pranks? 1180 00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:56,280 -No. -Okay. 1181 00:56:56,360 --> 00:56:57,960 You can have a small piece. 1182 00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:01,120 -Don't let him have any! -Small piece, small piece. 1183 00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:04,960 -Have you seen this? -What? 1184 00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:08,120 It's a mobile home. 1185 00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:10,040 I'll tell you exactly what this is. 1186 00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:12,560 The iron ore mine, which you may have noticed on the way in... 1187 00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:14,120 It's hard to miss. -Mmm. 1188 00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:18,840 The seam is going under the town that they're mining, 1189 00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:20,520 and the houses are starting to... 1190 00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:23,440 -They just disappear in the... -Yeah, they're just falling into the hole. 1191 00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:24,920 So they're moving the town. 1192 00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:26,680 [Richard] But there was a whole house on a truck thing. 1193 00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:27,880 -They just move the house. -[Jeremy] Yeah, pick up the house. 1194 00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:29,800 They are moving house, literally. 1195 00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:31,080 They pick them up, put them on a lorry, 1196 00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:32,960 and move them to an area where the mine isn't. 1197 00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:35,480 -[Richard] Wow! -There, look, you can see. 1198 00:57:35,560 --> 00:57:36,560 [James] Yeah. 1199 00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:39,040 [Jeremy] There is the seam and the town is falling down. 1200 00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:40,960 It gives me an idea, though. 1201 00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:43,000 -What? -You know those houses 1202 00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:46,000 we saw on skis at the lake, was it yesterday? 1203 00:57:46,080 --> 00:57:47,240 -Hmm. -Mm. 1204 00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:49,240 [Jeremy] Well, I know that once we go... 1205 00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:50,400 Where are we going? 1206 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:52,200 -East of here. -[James] Yeah? 1207 00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:54,120 Towards Finland and into Finland, 1208 00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:57,320 it does get more wildernessy than it has been. 1209 00:57:57,400 --> 00:58:03,120 Why don't we get, like, houses and tow them behind our cars? 1210 00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:04,200 What? 1211 00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:05,480 -That's just a caravan. -Actual houses? 1212 00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:06,840 No, no, no, on skis. 1213 00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:09,760 Well, but we can't possibly tow a whole house behind us. 1214 00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,520 [Jeremy] Well, I'm not suggesting we have a six-bedroom mansion. 1215 00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:13,960 So, what are you thinking of? 1216 00:58:14,040 --> 00:58:18,040 Something in between a dog kennel and that. 1217 00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:19,440 On skis? 1218 00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:20,960 -It's the skis that... -[Jeremy] Yes, it's not some awful... 1219 00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:22,120 You can make whatever house you like. 1220 00:58:22,200 --> 00:58:23,640 That is a smart idea. 1221 00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:26,320 So with that and the provisions we've bought, 1222 00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:27,400 -we are good. -Have you been shopping? 1223 00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:28,480 -[Richard] Yeah. -Oh, yeah, 1224 00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:29,640 we've got some fantastic stuff. 1225 00:58:29,720 --> 00:58:32,480 [steady music] 1226 00:58:32,560 --> 00:58:35,080 [Jeremy] With that settled, we found a workshop. 1227 00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:42,240 And the next afternoon, the houses were ready. 1228 00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:48,920 Let me talk you through my genius, if I may, Hammond. 1229 00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:52,360 -A simple bed, fur blanket. -Synthetic? 1230 00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:54,920 Yeah, and then we've got a wood-burning stove, 1231 00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:58,560 antler lighting here, 1232 00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:01,840 and then, external lighting on my porch. 1233 00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:04,200 It's a bit big, isn't it? 1234 00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:05,720 It's not big! 1235 00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:07,520 Well, it is compared to mine. 1236 00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:10,560 -Oh, yeah. -Yeah! 1237 00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:14,640 Traditional Swedish hut. Perfect in every way, this. 1238 00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:16,880 This is what they use. 1239 00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:18,400 Look, compact living. 1240 00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:20,040 In the middle, this is for cooking. 1241 00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:22,720 So, air comes in underneath, goes out that chimney at the top. 1242 00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:24,400 -Yeah? -Keeps the whole thing warm. 1243 00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:26,920 This seat converts into a bed. 1244 00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:28,160 -I've got lighting. -Hold on. What? 1245 00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:30,000 You have to sleep in a C shape? 1246 00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:32,240 No, no, no, that bit goes in there and then that comes over there. 1247 00:59:32,320 --> 00:59:34,640 This all converts into a bed when you're in sleeping mode, 1248 00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:38,280 but this is sociable, keep warm, cook food. 1249 00:59:38,360 --> 00:59:39,640 [clears throat] 1250 00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:41,720 Pretty lights, honestly... 1251 00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:43,440 Why didn't you make it square, though? 1252 00:59:43,520 --> 00:59:44,760 You'd have had more space. 1253 00:59:44,840 --> 00:59:46,440 Because they are traditionally this shape. 1254 00:59:46,520 --> 00:59:48,480 You sit around. I actually have one of these at home. 1255 00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:51,080 -Of course you do. -For real, and it's brilliant. 1256 00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:53,720 You have a barbecue in it with your friends and, you know... 1257 00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:56,200 [Jeremy clears throat] 1258 00:59:56,280 --> 00:59:59,400 Have you just stolen a bus shelter? 1259 00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:02,000 Well, my thinking was that, when I'm in bed, 1260 01:00:02,080 --> 01:00:04,960 I can just look at the Northern Lights without having to go outside. 1261 01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:06,520 I wish I'd thought of that. 1262 01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:09,240 This is a bit like those people who go foraging for food. 1263 01:00:09,320 --> 01:00:11,000 Isn't it? You've gone foraging for shelter. 1264 01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:13,760 Instead of some mushrooms, you've come back with a bus stop. 1265 01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:14,840 [Jeremy] It's a clever thing. 1266 01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:18,720 It's just, I don't particularly want to look out of my window 1267 01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:22,760 and see you doing man things. 1268 01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:24,360 I'm not gonna park near you. 1269 01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:28,000 [dramatic music] 1270 01:00:28,080 --> 01:00:31,040 [Jeremy] Unveilings over, it was time to hit the road. 1271 01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:32,280 Here we go. 1272 01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:36,120 Ooh, it's going. I have begun. 1273 01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:38,600 [engine rumbles] 1274 01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:40,360 [Richard] We're moving. 1275 01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:44,080 [James] Well, thus far, everything works. It's perfect. 1276 01:00:47,040 --> 01:00:49,760 [engine rumbles] 1277 01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:57,160 [James] Chaps? I seem to have frozen to the ground. 1278 01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:02,640 [Jeremy] Richard and I, therefore, got out to give him a push. 1279 01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:04,240 -[door thudding] -You ready? 1280 01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:08,840 -What are you doing? -Three, two, one, go! 1281 01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:13,120 [Richard and Jeremy grunting] 1282 01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:15,400 -Yes! -Yes. 1283 01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:17,600 Keep going, James. 1284 01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:20,920 -[James] Thank you! -[Jeremy laughs] 1285 01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:22,640 I'm off. 1286 01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:24,400 [Jeremy laughs] 1287 01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:29,120 [Jeremy] It works! It works! 1288 01:01:29,200 --> 01:01:31,560 Oh, no. No. 1289 01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:34,960 [Richard] Oh, my word... [yelps] 1290 01:01:37,920 --> 01:01:39,400 [James] Panic. Panic. 1291 01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:41,840 [steady music] 1292 01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:48,000 It's difficult to describe the handling of the Audi now. 1293 01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:50,080 Worse is one way of saying it. 1294 01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:54,760 On the plus side, however, 1295 01:01:54,840 --> 01:01:57,960 our grand designs had solved our housing problems. 1296 01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:03,800 And we were now heading smoothly towards the Finnish border. 1297 01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:08,560 I'm a proper nomad in the snowy wilderness. 1298 01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:09,640 I've got my home with me. 1299 01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:14,080 Fabulous, it's a roaming village. 1300 01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:17,560 [Jeremy] Hello, lovely Swedish people. 1301 01:02:18,600 --> 01:02:21,080 Now, the sat nav is saying to go left here. 1302 01:02:24,440 --> 01:02:28,040 No! 1303 01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:33,720 [laughs] I nearly rolled my shed there! 1304 01:02:34,800 --> 01:02:36,240 [James] Buffeting. 1305 01:02:36,320 --> 01:02:37,960 Buffeting. 1306 01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:41,480 Oh. Steady. 1307 01:02:42,320 --> 01:02:45,240 [steady music] 1308 01:02:45,320 --> 01:02:47,920 [Richard] Jeremy, are you sure about this turnoff? 1309 01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:49,880 Yes. I'm not. 1310 01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:52,400 To be honest, I'm not, 'cause my sat nav won't admit, 1311 01:02:52,480 --> 01:02:53,480 'cause it's German, 1312 01:02:53,560 --> 01:02:56,680 that it can only see one or maybe two satellites. 1313 01:02:56,760 --> 01:02:59,040 So, it doesn't really know where it is. 1314 01:02:59,120 --> 01:03:01,520 [steady music] 1315 01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:06,840 [Jeremy] Thanks to the Quattro's superior power, 1316 01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:09,960 I was soon far ahead of the two-litre boys. 1317 01:03:12,800 --> 01:03:17,360 But my heavy shed did make my V8 a bit thirsty. 1318 01:03:19,840 --> 01:03:21,400 God, I'm gonna need some fuel first. 1319 01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:24,080 Oh no, wait, a petrol station. 1320 01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:28,280 Whoa. Ooh, deary me. 1321 01:03:30,880 --> 01:03:32,720 -[house thudding] -Oh! Hell! 1322 01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:35,480 Shit! 1323 01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:38,800 I've crashed into a petrol station is what I've done here. 1324 01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:41,080 [sighs] 1325 01:03:41,640 --> 01:03:42,840 Oh, shit. 1326 01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:44,760 Morning. 1327 01:03:47,680 --> 01:03:50,000 At that moment, my colleague arrived. 1328 01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:51,880 [house thudding] 1329 01:03:53,120 --> 01:03:54,440 [Richard] Right. 1330 01:03:55,040 --> 01:03:58,160 [Jeremy] And kindly volunteered to help me out of my pickle. 1331 01:03:58,240 --> 01:04:00,360 [Richard] Shall I go? I'll stand on it. 1332 01:04:00,440 --> 01:04:02,360 Full-right in reverse, It might just do it. 1333 01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:03,800 [Jeremy] You reckon? 1334 01:04:04,960 --> 01:04:06,000 Ah. You see? 1335 01:04:07,240 --> 01:04:08,280 -Yes? -Yeah, you're all right. 1336 01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:10,280 Keep your hard, hard right in. 1337 01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:11,880 [Jeremy laughing] 1338 01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:13,040 Okay. 1339 01:04:13,120 --> 01:04:14,720 And then go forwards. 1340 01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:19,960 All right, with hindsight, I've made a mistake. 1341 01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:23,400 Oh... 1342 01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:34,360 [Jeremy] Shit! 1343 01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:36,280 What did I hit? 1344 01:04:36,360 --> 01:04:38,760 All those big metal bins. 1345 01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:40,240 [Jeremy] Have I hit the recycling bin? 1346 01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:42,240 [Richard] Yes, a number of them, in fact. 1347 01:04:43,600 --> 01:04:47,720 [Jeremy] Oh. no. Look what we've done. 1348 01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:50,560 -[Richard] We? -[Jeremy] It is a village notice board. 1349 01:04:50,640 --> 01:04:52,880 Music lessons, they do recorder lessons. 1350 01:04:52,960 --> 01:04:55,120 -[Richard] There's a kid's choir. -[Jeremy] Well, they, they won't notice. 1351 01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:57,080 [Richard] Well, they will, it's on its side. 1352 01:04:57,160 --> 01:04:59,160 Oh, it's bloody heavy. 1353 01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:01,800 No, we're not gonna, we're never gonna get that back up. 1354 01:05:01,880 --> 01:05:06,880 It's the one thing they've got! Snow and a notice board. 1355 01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:10,240 [Jeremy] Given the situation, 1356 01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:13,960 it seemed churlish to complain about my own damage. 1357 01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:16,280 [Richard] Ooh, that's gonna be breezy in there now. 1358 01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:19,880 [Jeremy] So, after Mr Slowly turned up, we left the scene, 1359 01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:23,600 trying to draw as little attention to ourselves as possible. 1360 01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:26,720 [Jeremy on radio] Chaps, we're going the other way. 1361 01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,440 Stop. We're going the other way. 1362 01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:30,480 [Richard] Well, why didn't you tell me that before I set off? 1363 01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:33,560 No. No. Over-jackknifed. 1364 01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:37,560 [Richard] Are we having a barn dance now? 1365 01:05:37,640 --> 01:05:41,120 [slow music] 1366 01:05:41,200 --> 01:05:43,800 [Jeremy] Back on the road, traffic was light. 1367 01:05:45,040 --> 01:05:48,600 So, after a few miles, we got a big giddy. 1368 01:05:48,680 --> 01:05:51,240 [dramatic music] 1369 01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:53,920 Are you overtaking me, you maniac? 1370 01:05:54,840 --> 01:05:56,920 [Richard] Ski-shed racing! New thing! 1371 01:05:57,000 --> 01:05:58,160 [laughs] 1372 01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:02,720 [Richard] Oh, my God. 1373 01:06:04,520 --> 01:06:06,600 Yeah, with hindsight, that was a mistake. 1374 01:06:07,520 --> 01:06:08,960 I've made it angry! 1375 01:06:09,920 --> 01:06:12,200 [Jeremy laughs] 1376 01:06:12,280 --> 01:06:13,560 [James laughs] 1377 01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:14,720 [Richard] Ooh! Bank! 1378 01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:19,040 [house thudding] 1379 01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:21,760 Oh no, there's a bus shelter coming up on my inside. 1380 01:06:23,520 --> 01:06:24,920 [laughs] 1381 01:06:25,000 --> 01:06:28,000 Even James May's bus... [laughs] 1382 01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:31,520 I'm gonna take him... [laughs] 1383 01:06:38,160 --> 01:06:39,880 [Richard] Oh, my word. 1384 01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:41,240 Oh. 1385 01:06:41,320 --> 01:06:43,360 I was a little over-exuberant. I, yeah... 1386 01:06:43,440 --> 01:06:45,920 Well, I haven't done anything funnier than this 1387 01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:49,080 in a car for a really, really, really long time. 1388 01:06:49,160 --> 01:06:50,560 [engine revving] 1389 01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:51,800 I just hope it isn't that sort of funny 1390 01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:56,560 that ends in blood and court cases and burst arteries. 1391 01:06:56,640 --> 01:06:59,400 -[automated voice] Turn left. -Left turn. Ooh, sudden! 1392 01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:01,960 Shit! 1393 01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:04,160 Oh, hell! 1394 01:07:07,360 --> 01:07:09,760 There's a left turn, and I've had a accident. 1395 01:07:14,480 --> 01:07:16,560 -[Richard] You're a dick. -[door thudding] 1396 01:07:16,640 --> 01:07:18,960 [Jeremy] Nevertheless, for the second time in two hours, 1397 01:07:19,040 --> 01:07:21,520 my colleague did organize a rescue. 1398 01:07:21,600 --> 01:07:26,040 So if we get this strop and another strop and take it to that tree... 1399 01:07:29,040 --> 01:07:30,600 [James] Stand clear. 1400 01:07:30,680 --> 01:07:33,360 [engine whining] 1401 01:07:39,920 --> 01:07:41,960 Ooh, a little, a little tug might do it. 1402 01:07:42,040 --> 01:07:43,200 Yeah, there you go. 1403 01:07:43,280 --> 01:07:45,640 [house crashing] 1404 01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:47,000 -Very good! -Hoorah! 1405 01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:48,920 Something we did worked! 1406 01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:52,000 [laughs] Something, like, we did it and it... 1407 01:07:52,080 --> 01:07:53,160 [Jeremy] I didn't do it. 1408 01:07:53,240 --> 01:07:55,480 -We were there. -We were there when it did it. 1409 01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:58,360 [steady music] 1410 01:08:01,240 --> 01:08:06,480 There it is, the mighty shed is once again on the move. 1411 01:08:12,080 --> 01:08:14,800 A few miles later, my Amstrad sat nav 1412 01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:17,680 finally delivered us to the Finnish border. 1413 01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:24,600 Now, that is Finland over there, on the other bank of this frozen river. 1414 01:08:25,840 --> 01:08:27,920 [Richard] This is an international border? 1415 01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:29,000 [Jeremy] Yes. 1416 01:08:29,080 --> 01:08:32,320 So how do people cross between Sweden and Finland if, 1417 01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:34,240 say, it's the summer? 1418 01:08:34,320 --> 01:08:36,920 [Jeremy] Yes, you raise a good point there, James. 1419 01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:39,720 This sat nav's taken leave of its senses. 1420 01:08:39,800 --> 01:08:41,200 Anyway, here we go. 1421 01:08:41,280 --> 01:08:43,320 [dramatic music] 1422 01:08:43,360 --> 01:08:46,560 [engine revving] 1423 01:08:51,600 --> 01:08:53,680 Hello, Finland. 1424 01:08:58,640 --> 01:09:00,920 Yeah, this is a bit more like the real deal now. 1425 01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:02,600 This is the wilderness. 1426 01:09:06,520 --> 01:09:10,120 If we get into trouble out here, we are a long way from anyone and anything. 1427 01:09:10,200 --> 01:09:11,240 But it's okay. 1428 01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:12,920 We've got our houses with us. 1429 01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:16,960 We find a clearing in the woods and we camp, in the wild. 1430 01:09:19,760 --> 01:09:23,960 As we climbed, dusk gave way to darkness. 1431 01:09:24,040 --> 01:09:26,800 And then there was a storm. 1432 01:09:26,880 --> 01:09:30,000 [wind whipping] 1433 01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:41,560 Now, this has got a bit perilous now. 1434 01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:46,080 A, it's gone dark and B, it's a blizzard. 1435 01:09:46,720 --> 01:09:48,320 I mean a proper blizzard. 1436 01:09:53,120 --> 01:09:57,000 This is far from good now. 1437 01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:02,720 The inside of my windscreen has iced up. 1438 01:10:03,920 --> 01:10:05,120 I'm having to... 1439 01:10:08,920 --> 01:10:11,840 [wind whipping] 1440 01:10:13,160 --> 01:10:16,280 [Jeremy] No, this is just hopeless. 1441 01:10:17,360 --> 01:10:19,160 I think we should stop here. 1442 01:10:19,240 --> 01:10:22,000 I don't think we should carry on. 1443 01:10:22,080 --> 01:10:23,560 [Richard moaning] 1444 01:10:23,640 --> 01:10:26,880 I'm going in. I'm gonna get my fire working. 1445 01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:27,960 [James] Shall I come and help you? 1446 01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:29,880 [Richard] By all means. 1447 01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:30,960 Jesus. 1448 01:10:33,160 --> 01:10:34,160 Oh, God. 1449 01:10:34,240 --> 01:10:37,080 [wind whipping] 1450 01:10:40,120 --> 01:10:41,280 [gasps] 1451 01:10:41,320 --> 01:10:42,320 Come on. 1452 01:10:45,560 --> 01:10:47,240 [flame whooshing] 1453 01:10:47,320 --> 01:10:48,960 I might have put some lighter fluid on it. 1454 01:10:49,040 --> 01:10:50,040 Thanks for telling me. 1455 01:10:57,200 --> 01:10:58,600 [James] These are so cold. 1456 01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:01,280 [wind whipping] 1457 01:11:07,400 --> 01:11:09,600 [Jeremy] Thankfully, the next morning, 1458 01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:11,880 the storm had passed. 1459 01:11:14,760 --> 01:11:15,880 Oh, I'm cold. 1460 01:11:20,440 --> 01:11:21,440 Ooh. 1461 01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:24,440 Jesus Christ. 1462 01:11:26,640 --> 01:11:28,920 [Jeremy panting] 1463 01:11:32,880 --> 01:11:35,120 [skis scraping] 1464 01:11:35,200 --> 01:11:38,080 [Jeremy sniffling] 1465 01:11:45,800 --> 01:11:47,520 Right, what we've done... 1466 01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:54,160 ...is camped on the ski run. 1467 01:11:57,960 --> 01:12:00,280 And a red run, by the looks of things. 1468 01:12:15,000 --> 01:12:17,920 [engine revving] 1469 01:12:24,960 --> 01:12:26,360 [engine revving] 1470 01:12:36,960 --> 01:12:39,680 [Jeremy grunting] 1471 01:12:49,800 --> 01:12:50,800 What the... 1472 01:12:50,880 --> 01:12:51,880 What the... 1473 01:12:58,720 --> 01:13:01,600 That's what you get for encasing my car in ice, I guess. 1474 01:13:01,680 --> 01:13:04,760 [Richard screaming] 1475 01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:08,880 What? 1476 01:13:11,440 --> 01:13:15,120 [screaming] 1477 01:13:25,160 --> 01:13:27,160 [house thudding] 1478 01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:36,200 Good. 1479 01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:43,600 [James moans] 1480 01:13:43,680 --> 01:13:44,680 Time to get up. 1481 01:13:47,440 --> 01:13:48,920 Where are we? 1482 01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:50,920 Now, that's interesting. 1483 01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:53,000 It turns out we're in a ski resort. 1484 01:13:54,120 --> 01:13:56,640 -[James] What? -[Jeremy] I know. 1485 01:14:03,320 --> 01:14:04,440 Jeez. 1486 01:14:04,560 --> 01:14:06,920 Oh, God, it's a good job we stopped when we did. 1487 01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:08,080 I know. 1488 01:14:08,160 --> 01:14:09,880 Hammond's already at the bottom. 1489 01:14:09,960 --> 01:14:12,000 What? How? 1490 01:14:12,080 --> 01:14:13,320 On his skis? 1491 01:14:13,360 --> 01:14:14,600 Yeah, and his shed. 1492 01:14:15,600 --> 01:14:17,160 His shed went down the bottom? 1493 01:14:17,240 --> 01:14:20,120 Yeah, I might have given a little bit of a push. 1494 01:14:20,200 --> 01:14:22,240 -A tiny push. -You pushed his shed down the hill? 1495 01:14:22,320 --> 01:14:26,320 Well, I thought he, 'cause he always said he wanted to go skiing. 1496 01:14:26,360 --> 01:14:29,320 Well, ignore him, we've got the big problem, 1497 01:14:29,400 --> 01:14:33,880 'cause we've somehow got to tow these down there. 1498 01:14:33,960 --> 01:14:35,440 And that's a red run. 1499 01:14:40,960 --> 01:14:42,880 [Richard] Actually, I had the big problem, 1500 01:14:42,960 --> 01:14:48,000 because my house was now ruined and I needed to get up to my car. 1501 01:14:49,200 --> 01:14:52,400 This meant using the pulling thing that skiers use. 1502 01:14:52,520 --> 01:14:55,800 And the problem there was, I can't ski. 1503 01:14:58,840 --> 01:15:01,680 Skis? No. 1504 01:15:01,760 --> 01:15:03,560 More skis. 1505 01:15:03,640 --> 01:15:04,840 Snowboards. 1506 01:15:06,120 --> 01:15:07,120 No. 1507 01:15:08,160 --> 01:15:09,160 Oh, hang on. 1508 01:15:10,880 --> 01:15:11,960 Yes. 1509 01:15:12,680 --> 01:15:16,080 [machine clicking] 1510 01:15:44,080 --> 01:15:45,200 [grunts] 1511 01:16:03,040 --> 01:16:05,320 [grunting] 1512 01:16:05,360 --> 01:16:08,360 [machine humming] 1513 01:16:09,600 --> 01:16:10,800 [groans] 1514 01:16:13,400 --> 01:16:14,400 [grunts] 1515 01:16:21,120 --> 01:16:23,880 [James] Meanwhile, back at the top, 1516 01:16:23,960 --> 01:16:27,320 I was trying to hitch my car up to my bus shelter. 1517 01:16:28,440 --> 01:16:31,040 [engine revving] 1518 01:16:37,960 --> 01:16:38,960 Bugger! 1519 01:16:39,960 --> 01:16:43,440 Right, my plan, to try and stop 1520 01:16:43,560 --> 01:16:47,280 my very long sledge slewing round 1521 01:16:47,320 --> 01:16:51,840 is to attach cables to the corner here and the corner there 1522 01:16:51,920 --> 01:16:54,240 and the corner there and the corner there 1523 01:16:54,320 --> 01:16:56,080 to keep it straight. 1524 01:17:10,080 --> 01:17:11,240 Sorry. 1525 01:17:12,440 --> 01:17:13,440 Sorry. 1526 01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:17,000 Sorry. 1527 01:17:17,960 --> 01:17:20,960 [Richard panting] 1528 01:17:33,640 --> 01:17:36,600 [engine revving] 1529 01:17:38,080 --> 01:17:43,320 Right. Hang on. Right hand down, back, a bit of left, a bit of right, line up. 1530 01:17:44,320 --> 01:17:47,120 [engine revving] 1531 01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:53,240 Oh, shit! 1532 01:17:54,240 --> 01:17:55,320 Shit! 1533 01:18:02,040 --> 01:18:04,040 [grunts] Jesus! 1534 01:18:04,120 --> 01:18:07,160 [engine revving] 1535 01:18:15,200 --> 01:18:16,680 Ah! No! 1536 01:18:22,440 --> 01:18:23,560 Oh. 1537 01:18:27,280 --> 01:18:30,560 [Jeremy] This left just me and two sheds. 1538 01:18:32,240 --> 01:18:35,600 -[door thudding] -[engine revving] 1539 01:18:35,680 --> 01:18:38,920 [panting] 1540 01:18:41,120 --> 01:18:44,120 -[door thudding] -[engine revving] 1541 01:18:44,200 --> 01:18:47,000 [panting] 1542 01:18:48,760 --> 01:18:51,840 -[door thudding] -[engine revving] 1543 01:18:51,920 --> 01:18:53,320 [panting] 1544 01:18:53,400 --> 01:18:55,200 Oh, for God's sake. 1545 01:18:56,160 --> 01:18:59,160 -[door thudding] -[engine revving] 1546 01:18:59,240 --> 01:19:02,160 [panting] 1547 01:19:08,120 --> 01:19:10,040 Right. Oh, it's Hammond. 1548 01:19:13,720 --> 01:19:15,440 Hammond? Could you give us a hand? 1549 01:19:15,560 --> 01:19:16,680 No. 1550 01:19:19,000 --> 01:19:20,080 [door thudding] 1551 01:19:20,160 --> 01:19:23,160 [engine revving] 1552 01:19:39,080 --> 01:19:41,880 [Jeremy] Having finally got my shed hitched, 1553 01:19:41,960 --> 01:19:43,240 I was ready to go. 1554 01:19:45,240 --> 01:19:48,320 Right. Is everything in order? 1555 01:19:48,360 --> 01:19:50,400 Traction control is off. Good. 1556 01:19:50,520 --> 01:19:53,040 [Richard] Jeremy, are you actually coming down here today at all? 1557 01:19:53,120 --> 01:19:54,560 [Jeremy] I'm coming. It's very difficult. 1558 01:19:54,640 --> 01:19:59,240 Because I've got a shed on the back of my car. 1559 01:20:00,280 --> 01:20:01,600 Lights? Yeah. 1560 01:20:02,520 --> 01:20:04,680 Straps are on. Oh, shit! 1561 01:20:07,040 --> 01:20:08,960 Traction control is off. 1562 01:20:10,520 --> 01:20:11,520 Here we go. 1563 01:20:12,880 --> 01:20:14,520 Take this steadily. 1564 01:20:16,240 --> 01:20:18,240 That's what I've gotta do, steady. 1565 01:20:18,320 --> 01:20:20,800 Keep it straight, Jeremy. Keep it straight. 1566 01:20:24,360 --> 01:20:25,640 [Richard] Er, your shed's on fire. 1567 01:20:29,520 --> 01:20:31,880 [Jeremy] How have I done this? 1568 01:20:31,960 --> 01:20:34,280 No, stopping not possible. 1569 01:20:35,320 --> 01:20:36,720 I'm speeding up. 1570 01:20:36,800 --> 01:20:38,120 Trying to put the flames out that way, 1571 01:20:38,200 --> 01:20:40,320 like they did in 'Memphis Belle'. 1572 01:20:40,400 --> 01:20:45,400 -[flames crackling] -[engine revving] 1573 01:20:46,640 --> 01:20:49,200 All right, I'm gonna try and understeer my way to a halt. 1574 01:20:53,600 --> 01:20:54,640 Oh, God. 1575 01:20:57,080 --> 01:20:58,160 [Richard] I think it might have something 1576 01:20:58,240 --> 01:21:00,880 -to do with your flaming exhaust. -[Jeremy] Shit! 1577 01:21:07,200 --> 01:21:09,520 [Jeremy] Once the fire had been put out... 1578 01:21:11,400 --> 01:21:13,320 ...I inspected the damage. 1579 01:21:13,920 --> 01:21:16,240 Oh, Christ. Burned. 1580 01:21:17,400 --> 01:21:20,000 -[James] Well, at least it's warm now. -[Jeremy] The straps worked. 1581 01:21:20,080 --> 01:21:22,000 -[Richard] Yeah, but... -But, no, no, stop and just, 1582 01:21:22,080 --> 01:21:23,920 before you get onto your negativity... 1583 01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:25,000 Okay? 1584 01:21:25,080 --> 01:21:28,000 These straps stopped it. 1585 01:21:28,080 --> 01:21:31,320 You know, all the way here, it was slewing round all the time? 1586 01:21:31,360 --> 01:21:33,560 -That solved the problem. -Good thinking. 1587 01:21:33,640 --> 01:21:35,120 -Exactly. -But as a result of that, 1588 01:21:35,200 --> 01:21:37,120 it's survived for you to sleep in another night. 1589 01:21:37,200 --> 01:21:38,960 Oh, well, this has gone well. 1590 01:21:39,040 --> 01:21:41,680 -[chiming music] -[Jeremy] We were all now homeless. 1591 01:21:44,520 --> 01:21:46,120 And we had another problem. 1592 01:21:46,200 --> 01:21:47,840 [engine revving] 1593 01:21:47,920 --> 01:21:50,720 The airport may have only been a hundred miles away, 1594 01:21:50,800 --> 01:21:52,920 but making it on time in Finland, 1595 01:21:53,000 --> 01:21:57,240 which has the toughest speeding laws in the world, 1596 01:21:57,320 --> 01:21:58,360 would be tricky. 1597 01:21:59,640 --> 01:22:01,960 It did give me an idea, though. 1598 01:22:02,040 --> 01:22:06,160 Listen. What we've established is the Audi is the only car 1599 01:22:06,240 --> 01:22:09,320 that can pull a sledge down a red run. 1600 01:22:09,360 --> 01:22:11,680 And set it on fire and destroy it. 1601 01:22:12,360 --> 01:22:14,120 Yes, yes, yes, but it's the only one that did it. 1602 01:22:14,200 --> 01:22:15,720 Yours didn't. 1603 01:22:15,800 --> 01:22:18,160 I'm doing a thorough test on this car. 1604 01:22:18,240 --> 01:22:19,880 And actually, to be honest, early on, 1605 01:22:19,960 --> 01:22:23,160 May was doing a very thorough test on the Evo. 1606 01:22:23,240 --> 01:22:24,360 So come on, Hammond. 1607 01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:26,240 Show us how fast the Subaru goes. 1608 01:22:26,800 --> 01:22:28,600 I'm not doing that here. 1609 01:22:28,680 --> 01:22:30,080 [laughs] 1610 01:22:30,160 --> 01:22:31,320 Why not? 1611 01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:36,320 [laughs] Because they are properly next-level strict on speeding. 1612 01:22:36,360 --> 01:22:38,160 They don't just access your records 1613 01:22:38,240 --> 01:22:39,320 to see if your car's taxed, 1614 01:22:39,400 --> 01:22:41,920 they look at your tax returns to see how much you earn 1615 01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:43,720 and then fine you accordingly. 1616 01:22:43,800 --> 01:22:45,640 He's right. They do. 1617 01:22:46,280 --> 01:22:51,120 It's true. A Finnish sausage magnate was fined 116,000 pounds 1618 01:22:51,200 --> 01:22:53,960 for doing 80 kilometres in a 40-kilometre zone. 1619 01:22:54,880 --> 01:22:56,800 They are serious about it. 1620 01:22:56,880 --> 01:22:58,800 [Jeremy] Come on, Hammond. You can afford it. 1621 01:22:58,880 --> 01:23:01,000 Put your foot down. See how fast you can make it go. 1622 01:23:01,080 --> 01:23:02,360 -[James laughing] -[laughs] I am not, 1623 01:23:02,440 --> 01:23:05,080 even I am not falling for that. No. 1624 01:23:05,160 --> 01:23:07,200 -[steady music] -[engine revving] 1625 01:23:07,280 --> 01:23:08,760 [Jeremy] Because of the speed limits, 1626 01:23:08,840 --> 01:23:10,960 I was worried we'd miss our flight. 1627 01:23:12,440 --> 01:23:16,080 But then I had a brainwave. 1628 01:23:16,160 --> 01:23:17,880 Well, we can't go quickly on the roads, 1629 01:23:17,960 --> 01:23:20,880 but we can go quickly on this lake, 1630 01:23:20,960 --> 01:23:25,560 which actually stretches a long way towards the airport. 1631 01:23:26,240 --> 01:23:28,200 Okey doke. Here we go. 1632 01:23:28,280 --> 01:23:31,400 [engine revving] 1633 01:23:31,520 --> 01:23:34,960 -Speed and power. -[engine revving] 1634 01:23:35,040 --> 01:23:38,000 [dramatic music] 1635 01:23:40,080 --> 01:23:42,320 You see? No speed limits here. 1636 01:23:44,960 --> 01:23:49,600 The swine! He cut me off like a maniac and a yobbo. 1637 01:23:49,680 --> 01:23:51,720 You can't get me. 1638 01:23:53,840 --> 01:23:56,800 [James] You should try driving over here. It's all flat. 1639 01:23:57,440 --> 01:23:59,680 -Oh, shit! -[car crashing] 1640 01:23:59,760 --> 01:24:01,360 [beep] 1641 01:24:02,600 --> 01:24:04,040 [Jeremy] James has gone through, everyone. 1642 01:24:04,120 --> 01:24:06,240 -Shit! -James has gone through. 1643 01:24:06,320 --> 01:24:07,520 [Richard] Don't move. 1644 01:24:08,800 --> 01:24:10,240 [James groaning] 1645 01:24:10,320 --> 01:24:14,680 -[water trickling] -[beep] 1646 01:24:14,760 --> 01:24:16,080 Shit. 1647 01:24:19,840 --> 01:24:24,680 [Jeremy] Can you get out? 1648 01:24:24,760 --> 01:24:26,400 Are you on the bottom? 1649 01:24:29,440 --> 01:24:31,160 I mean, is he just, is it the ice underneath him? 1650 01:24:31,240 --> 01:24:32,960 It could just be on a rock. 1651 01:24:37,440 --> 01:24:39,040 [James] Ow! 1652 01:24:39,120 --> 01:24:42,280 [Jeremy] James, what's happened is your front spoiler 1653 01:24:42,320 --> 01:24:45,240 is wedged in what looks like still-intact ice. 1654 01:24:46,520 --> 01:24:48,200 [door thudding] 1655 01:24:48,280 --> 01:24:49,280 [James grunting] 1656 01:24:49,320 --> 01:24:51,240 [Richard] That's against a rock or the ice. 1657 01:24:53,960 --> 01:24:55,640 [James] Oh, my ribs. 1658 01:24:56,800 --> 01:24:58,160 [Jeremy] Right, you're pretty much out, 1659 01:24:58,240 --> 01:25:00,200 if you can get on the boot lid. 1660 01:25:00,280 --> 01:25:01,840 [James grunting] 1661 01:25:01,920 --> 01:25:04,400 I mean, do you think the car is just sitting on a plate of ice? 1662 01:25:04,520 --> 01:25:06,960 No, I think it's just wedged in some ice. 1663 01:25:07,640 --> 01:25:10,080 If it goes down, I'll swim for it, but we've gotta save the car. 1664 01:25:11,080 --> 01:25:13,520 Find a way of dragging the car out. 1665 01:25:13,600 --> 01:25:15,880 If you drag the car out, I'll come with it. 1666 01:25:15,960 --> 01:25:17,360 Have you, we got, you've got a tow. 1667 01:25:17,440 --> 01:25:19,080 -Something I've... -Yeah, but we can't get 1668 01:25:19,160 --> 01:25:21,720 close enough to pull it out with your, with our cars, can we? 1669 01:25:21,800 --> 01:25:23,320 -[Richard sighs] -No, I'm not driving any nearer. 1670 01:25:23,360 --> 01:25:25,520 No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not gonna go near, but... 1671 01:25:25,600 --> 01:25:27,320 Don't drive any closer than there. 1672 01:25:27,360 --> 01:25:29,920 We're not going to. So the tow rope is out. 1673 01:25:30,000 --> 01:25:31,680 [Richard] But I have got tools. 1674 01:25:31,760 --> 01:25:33,040 Right, let's go and think what we've got. 1675 01:25:33,120 --> 01:25:35,440 -That's halfway up the lights there. -Yeah, okay, let's look at tools. 1676 01:25:39,040 --> 01:25:42,080 Mate, I saw a video, don't laugh. 1677 01:25:42,160 --> 01:25:44,440 But you know I like sort of, you know, recovery and off-roading and stuff? 1678 01:25:44,560 --> 01:25:45,560 Yes. 1679 01:25:45,640 --> 01:25:47,400 I was watching them do an ice recovery. 1680 01:25:47,520 --> 01:25:49,760 [Jeremy sighs] 1681 01:25:49,840 --> 01:25:51,960 There's a way of doing this. 1682 01:25:52,040 --> 01:25:54,560 You can use a tree as a winch. 1683 01:25:54,640 --> 01:25:56,920 Don't go away, James. We'll be right back. 1684 01:25:57,000 --> 01:25:59,760 Oh, no, I was gonna go for a coffee. 1685 01:25:59,840 --> 01:26:02,960 [engine revving] 1686 01:26:05,920 --> 01:26:07,240 This is a rescue mission. 1687 01:26:07,320 --> 01:26:10,680 -[engine revving] -[dramatic music] 1688 01:26:23,600 --> 01:26:27,600 [James] I reckon there's just a chance this could still go again, 1689 01:26:27,680 --> 01:26:29,840 if it didn't hydraulic the engine. 1690 01:26:31,760 --> 01:26:35,000 But we've gotta get it out. It's... Oh, God. 1691 01:26:35,080 --> 01:26:37,280 I don't believe it's ready to go. 1692 01:26:38,800 --> 01:26:40,120 It's a survivor. 1693 01:26:41,520 --> 01:26:46,520 -[dramatic music] -[engine revving] 1694 01:26:49,680 --> 01:26:52,720 -So, what's the plan? -Oh, he's got one. 1695 01:26:52,800 --> 01:26:54,800 I don't understand it, I'm gonna be honest with you. 1696 01:26:54,880 --> 01:26:56,400 Saw this on the internet. 1697 01:26:56,520 --> 01:26:58,720 [dramatic music] 1698 01:27:04,440 --> 01:27:05,440 [Richard] I've gone through. 1699 01:27:07,520 --> 01:27:09,440 -Ready? -Yeah. 1700 01:27:09,560 --> 01:27:11,960 Right, you have a bridge to escape. 1701 01:27:13,400 --> 01:27:15,280 When are you gonna say 'thank you'? 1702 01:27:15,320 --> 01:27:16,880 Well, it hasn't worked yet. 1703 01:27:16,960 --> 01:27:20,920 [sighs] Is there a way we can get the car out but leave him there? 1704 01:27:21,000 --> 01:27:23,960 [dramatic music] 1705 01:27:26,800 --> 01:27:29,280 -[Richard] I reckon that's good. -[Jeremy] Right. May? 1706 01:27:29,360 --> 01:27:33,120 Give this a really good knot and attach it to the tow bar, yeah? 1707 01:27:33,200 --> 01:27:35,440 [James] Yeah, okay. 1708 01:27:36,360 --> 01:27:38,320 [James blows raspberry] 1709 01:27:39,200 --> 01:27:40,200 Ow! 1710 01:27:41,320 --> 01:27:45,520 -[Richard] You're on. -Yes? [groans] 1711 01:27:45,600 --> 01:27:47,040 [Jeremy] Is that it, Hammond? 1712 01:27:47,120 --> 01:27:49,720 [Richard] Yeah. It's built. 1713 01:27:49,800 --> 01:27:52,080 [Jeremy] What? So it's just a log in a hole? 1714 01:27:52,160 --> 01:27:54,440 -[Richard] Yep. -[Jeremy] Tied to another log? 1715 01:27:54,520 --> 01:27:55,880 [Richard] Yep. 1716 01:27:55,960 --> 01:27:57,800 [Jeremy] And you reckon that's gonna be enough 1717 01:27:57,880 --> 01:28:00,680 to pull a ton and a half of car that's... 1718 01:28:00,760 --> 01:28:01,760 [Richard] Oh, yeah. 1719 01:28:02,760 --> 01:28:04,240 [Jeremy] I think that log in the middle's turning. 1720 01:28:04,320 --> 01:28:05,320 [Richard] Yeah, it's supposed to. 1721 01:28:05,400 --> 01:28:06,800 -[Jeremy] Oh, is it? -[Richard] That's the winch. 1722 01:28:06,880 --> 01:28:10,200 The log in the middle turns and winds in the rope. 1723 01:28:11,760 --> 01:28:12,960 [Jeremy] Actually, Hammond, you know what? 1724 01:28:13,040 --> 01:28:14,120 -[Richard] It's working. -[Jeremy] It's working! 1725 01:28:14,200 --> 01:28:17,120 I mean, I'm genuinely staggered, 1726 01:28:17,200 --> 01:28:19,200 'cause that is ice, but, yeah, look at that. 1727 01:28:19,280 --> 01:28:20,840 Right, we've gotta get him off. 1728 01:28:20,920 --> 01:28:22,880 [James] Can you put the log between there 1729 01:28:22,960 --> 01:28:24,760 and the driver's seat? 1730 01:28:24,840 --> 01:28:27,880 And then I can climb across the door to the nice bit, onto the land. 1731 01:28:31,960 --> 01:28:33,680 [Jeremy grunting] 1732 01:28:33,760 --> 01:28:36,480 [Jeremy panting] 1733 01:28:38,480 --> 01:28:39,920 -[James grunting] -[Jeremy] He is rescued. 1734 01:28:40,000 --> 01:28:41,120 [James] Right, thank you. 1735 01:28:41,200 --> 01:28:43,880 [Jeremy] Did the engine, as far as you know, go under water? 1736 01:28:43,960 --> 01:28:45,200 I don't think it did. 1737 01:28:45,280 --> 01:28:48,680 [Jeremy] So we've got to try and keep the engine above water. 1738 01:28:49,560 --> 01:28:50,600 -Let's do it. -Let's just do it. 1739 01:28:50,680 --> 01:28:52,000 [Jeremy] We have got to just get cracking, seriously. 1740 01:28:52,080 --> 01:28:54,560 [slow music] 1741 01:28:56,400 --> 01:28:58,040 [Richard] We started winching, 1742 01:28:58,120 --> 01:29:00,320 praying that whatever was holding the car up 1743 01:29:00,400 --> 01:29:03,280 would keep the engine out of the water. 1744 01:29:03,360 --> 01:29:05,840 [log creaking] 1745 01:29:07,080 --> 01:29:08,640 [James] What's the breaking strain of the rope? 1746 01:29:08,720 --> 01:29:10,440 [Richard] I don't know. It's just rope. 1747 01:29:10,520 --> 01:29:13,360 [car creaking] 1748 01:29:13,440 --> 01:29:15,600 Oh, shit, it's gone in! 1749 01:29:15,680 --> 01:29:18,000 The car's gone in at the front. 1750 01:29:18,080 --> 01:29:19,720 Okay. 1751 01:29:19,800 --> 01:29:21,160 [Richard] It's dropped off the edge? 1752 01:29:21,240 --> 01:29:22,240 [Jeremy] Yeah. 1753 01:29:22,320 --> 01:29:24,400 Right, we really have got a bit of a rush on now 1754 01:29:24,480 --> 01:29:25,880 'cause the engine's in the water. 1755 01:29:25,960 --> 01:29:27,080 [Richard] Okay. 1756 01:29:31,760 --> 01:29:34,440 -It's moving! Look! -[James] It is! 1757 01:29:38,480 --> 01:29:41,440 [Richard] Once the back of the car was far enough out, 1758 01:29:41,520 --> 01:29:43,840 it was time for the next part of my plan. 1759 01:29:46,240 --> 01:29:47,520 [Jeremy] Like this? 1760 01:29:47,600 --> 01:29:49,760 -Hammond? -[Richard] Yeah, that's correct. 1761 01:29:53,040 --> 01:29:54,160 Jeremy, are you ready? 1762 01:29:54,680 --> 01:29:56,080 [Jeremy] Two secs. 1763 01:29:58,200 --> 01:29:59,280 The car's moving! 1764 01:29:59,360 --> 01:30:01,680 -It is under tension now. -The car's moving. 1765 01:30:05,680 --> 01:30:08,680 Ooh, brake lights. Why have the brake lights just come on? 1766 01:30:08,760 --> 01:30:10,520 [Richard] Electrics. Fusing. 1767 01:30:15,080 --> 01:30:16,360 [Jeremy] Right. James? 1768 01:30:16,440 --> 01:30:18,760 -[James] Yeah? -[Jeremy] Your engine is out. 1769 01:30:18,840 --> 01:30:22,200 The biggest problem is, it's stuck on the frame. 1770 01:30:23,880 --> 01:30:26,480 But, as it was now out of the hole, 1771 01:30:26,560 --> 01:30:29,440 I could get close enough to use my V8. 1772 01:30:29,520 --> 01:30:31,040 [James] Stop. Stop. 1773 01:30:32,840 --> 01:30:34,040 Right, you're on. There you go. 1774 01:30:34,120 --> 01:30:38,000 [engine revving] 1775 01:30:38,080 --> 01:30:40,200 -[Richard laughing] -Another one. 1776 01:30:41,520 --> 01:30:43,000 [engine revving] 1777 01:30:45,120 --> 01:30:46,920 -That'll do it. That'll do it. -That is out! 1778 01:30:47,880 --> 01:30:49,360 What a car this is. 1779 01:30:49,440 --> 01:30:51,040 It's yanked the Evo out. 1780 01:30:51,120 --> 01:30:54,160 It's saved the Evo's life. You beauty. 1781 01:30:55,200 --> 01:30:57,720 But the question was, had it? 1782 01:30:58,720 --> 01:31:00,200 [Richard and Jeremy sighing] 1783 01:31:00,280 --> 01:31:01,640 -Oh. -Oh, shit. 1784 01:31:04,280 --> 01:31:06,880 -Look at the off headlamp. -[James] Oh, God. 1785 01:31:06,960 --> 01:31:09,280 [Jeremy] Right, well, what you've got, James, 1786 01:31:09,360 --> 01:31:11,000 plainly, is some work to do. 1787 01:31:11,080 --> 01:31:14,040 -[James] Yep. -Hammond, what you and I have got to do 1788 01:31:14,120 --> 01:31:15,360 is catch this plane home. 1789 01:31:15,440 --> 01:31:17,160 Yes. Team comes first. 1790 01:31:17,240 --> 01:31:20,400 [Jeremy] The team comes first. We have been a team. 1791 01:31:20,480 --> 01:31:22,120 [James] Thank you for that. 1792 01:31:22,200 --> 01:31:23,720 We'll see you in something. 1793 01:31:25,000 --> 01:31:28,640 -Volvo. -[engine revving] 1794 01:31:35,720 --> 01:31:37,280 [dramatic music] 1795 01:31:37,360 --> 01:31:39,280 [Richard] I can't see him fixing that this time. 1796 01:31:39,360 --> 01:31:41,000 It's a tough little car, that Evo, 1797 01:31:41,080 --> 01:31:42,800 and I love it, but I think it's dead. 1798 01:31:42,880 --> 01:31:44,040 [dramatic music] 1799 01:31:44,120 --> 01:31:47,400 We are running late for this plane! 1800 01:31:47,480 --> 01:31:50,000 Come on, come on. 1801 01:31:50,080 --> 01:31:52,880 -[dramatic music] -[engine revving] 1802 01:31:52,960 --> 01:31:57,080 The lake gave way to fast forest tracks. 1803 01:31:59,280 --> 01:32:03,240 Which were the perfect environment to sum up our cars. 1804 01:32:05,080 --> 01:32:07,880 If I can liken them to dogs, and I think I can, 1805 01:32:07,960 --> 01:32:09,960 the Evo is like a rescue dog. 1806 01:32:10,040 --> 01:32:14,680 It's been appallingly mistreated by its irresponsible owner, 1807 01:32:14,760 --> 01:32:17,000 and you sort of love it for that. 1808 01:32:19,360 --> 01:32:22,160 Then there's the Subaru, which is like an endearing 1809 01:32:22,240 --> 01:32:26,600 but ultimately quite annoying terrier. [barks, pants] 1810 01:32:26,680 --> 01:32:30,240 [engine revving] 1811 01:32:30,320 --> 01:32:34,960 And then there's the Audi Quattro, which is like a Labrador, 1812 01:32:35,040 --> 01:32:39,720 brilliant at absolutely everything. 1813 01:32:39,800 --> 01:32:41,080 [engine revving] 1814 01:32:41,160 --> 01:32:43,360 A Quattro is not just for Christmas. 1815 01:32:43,440 --> 01:32:46,320 [engine revving] 1816 01:32:46,400 --> 01:32:48,160 A Quattro is for life. 1817 01:32:50,240 --> 01:32:55,160 -[dramatic music] -[engine revving] 1818 01:32:55,240 --> 01:32:58,120 I'm not saying the Subaru can do everything, 1819 01:32:58,200 --> 01:33:03,000 adapt to fit the captain of industry and the bar-brawler within you. 1820 01:33:03,080 --> 01:33:07,200 It doesn't. You have to change to fit it, and that's the point. 1821 01:33:08,920 --> 01:33:10,520 The most mild-mannered vicar in the world 1822 01:33:10,600 --> 01:33:13,080 could leave the pulpit with kind words for his flock, 1823 01:33:13,160 --> 01:33:14,640 hop into a Subaru Impreza, 1824 01:33:14,720 --> 01:33:16,880 and he would drive, well, like this. 1825 01:33:16,960 --> 01:33:19,920 [engine revving] 1826 01:33:21,680 --> 01:33:24,880 Ooh, 'cause that's what it does! 1827 01:33:24,960 --> 01:33:26,600 [engine revving] 1828 01:33:26,680 --> 01:33:29,480 [dramatic music] 1829 01:33:37,560 --> 01:33:40,240 We then got on with our charge to the plane. 1830 01:33:43,560 --> 01:33:46,400 Right, that is the perimeter fence for the airport. 1831 01:33:46,480 --> 01:33:48,240 [Richard] Somewhere in there is our plane. 1832 01:33:48,320 --> 01:33:51,320 [engine revving] 1833 01:33:53,120 --> 01:33:54,840 I'm now in Where Eagles Dare. 1834 01:33:54,920 --> 01:33:57,840 [dramatic music] 1835 01:33:57,920 --> 01:33:59,680 Oh, my word. A machine! 1836 01:33:59,760 --> 01:34:04,320 -[dramatic music] -[engine revving] 1837 01:34:07,840 --> 01:34:09,240 What an arrival. 1838 01:34:09,320 --> 01:34:14,720 -[engine revving] -[dramatic music] 1839 01:34:15,760 --> 01:34:17,760 -That's gotta be it. -[dramatic music] 1840 01:34:27,120 --> 01:34:32,120 -[engine whirring] -[slow music] 1841 01:34:35,000 --> 01:34:37,400 -Fancy plane! -Yeah. Nice finish line. 1842 01:34:37,480 --> 01:34:39,120 -Isn't it? -[door thudding] 1843 01:34:39,200 --> 01:34:41,880 [Jeremy] We'd actually got here faster than expected, 1844 01:34:41,960 --> 01:34:44,880 which meant we now had a bit of time to kill 1845 01:34:44,960 --> 01:34:47,160 while waiting for James. 1846 01:34:47,240 --> 01:34:49,000 I was just thinking, driving along, 1847 01:34:49,080 --> 01:34:54,720 if your car was originally designed to do rallying, 1848 01:34:54,800 --> 01:34:57,000 it's going to be pretty good, whatever it is. 1849 01:34:57,080 --> 01:34:58,920 How would you know? 1850 01:34:59,000 --> 01:35:01,120 Well, it wasn't designed to do rallying, 1851 01:35:01,200 --> 01:35:02,200 -was it? -It was! 1852 01:35:02,280 --> 01:35:04,360 Did you look in your rear-view mirror 1853 01:35:04,440 --> 01:35:07,120 at any point in the last 40 minutes? 1854 01:35:07,200 --> 01:35:09,600 Yes, there was an enormous Audi in it, 1855 01:35:09,680 --> 01:35:11,040 but not a rally car. 1856 01:35:11,120 --> 01:35:14,120 Your problem is you're not very observant. 1857 01:35:14,200 --> 01:35:15,480 What? 1858 01:35:16,760 --> 01:35:17,840 What? 1859 01:35:18,400 --> 01:35:20,080 -Did you do that? -[Jeremy] Yes. 1860 01:35:20,160 --> 01:35:21,240 Have you done the doors as well? 1861 01:35:21,320 --> 01:35:22,400 -Yes. -Oh, bloody hell. 1862 01:35:22,480 --> 01:35:23,480 And your windscreen. 1863 01:35:23,560 --> 01:35:26,200 Oh, come on, I thought I looked cool. 1864 01:35:26,280 --> 01:35:27,560 -You did. -[Richard] No, it didn't! 1865 01:35:27,640 --> 01:35:29,280 Everyone was going, 'There's a Martin Clunes fan'. 1866 01:35:29,360 --> 01:35:31,920 -[Richard laughs] -Or Martin Bashir. 1867 01:35:32,000 --> 01:35:33,320 Revelations dealt with, 1868 01:35:33,400 --> 01:35:36,760 we then waited to see what James would arrive in. 1869 01:35:40,360 --> 01:35:41,600 And a short while later... 1870 01:35:45,200 --> 01:35:46,400 Is that him? 1871 01:35:46,480 --> 01:35:48,120 -And if it is... -What's he in? 1872 01:35:48,200 --> 01:35:53,360 Is it the Mitsubishi? Or is it the Volvo? 1873 01:35:54,640 --> 01:35:55,920 Is that the Volvo? 1874 01:35:56,720 --> 01:35:58,200 [James] It was the Volvo. 1875 01:36:00,160 --> 01:36:02,360 And I wasn't in it. 1876 01:36:02,440 --> 01:36:04,360 [triumphant music] 1877 01:36:04,440 --> 01:36:06,680 What? Oh, my God! 1878 01:36:07,640 --> 01:36:10,560 Yes, what a car! 1879 01:36:11,480 --> 01:36:13,360 That is extraordinary! 1880 01:36:13,440 --> 01:36:16,880 [Jeremy] How the bloody hell is that possible? 1881 01:36:16,960 --> 01:36:19,760 [laughs] It's totally wounded, but it's here! 1882 01:36:19,840 --> 01:36:21,960 [slow music] 1883 01:36:26,800 --> 01:36:29,000 [Jeremy] We worried when we began this journey 1884 01:36:29,080 --> 01:36:31,200 that it'd be a bit nerdy. 1885 01:36:32,280 --> 01:36:33,480 But it wasn't. 1886 01:36:33,560 --> 01:36:35,000 And we sincerely hope 1887 01:36:35,080 --> 01:36:38,760 that all of you have found these rally-bred titans 1888 01:36:38,840 --> 01:36:40,760 as amazing as we have. 1889 01:36:40,840 --> 01:36:43,840 [inspiring music] 1890 01:36:45,200 --> 01:36:46,400 You beauty. 1891 01:36:47,840 --> 01:36:51,680 They're cars that put up with all of our nonsense, 1892 01:36:51,760 --> 01:36:54,360 never once losing their majesty. 1893 01:36:54,440 --> 01:36:56,920 [engine revving] 1894 01:36:58,720 --> 01:37:01,080 But there's absolutely no doubt 1895 01:37:01,160 --> 01:37:04,160 about the real hero of this adventure. 1896 01:37:05,800 --> 01:37:06,880 [brakes screeching] 1897 01:37:06,960 --> 01:37:09,480 [car crashing] 1898 01:37:09,560 --> 01:37:12,920 The Evo died, not once but twice. 1899 01:37:14,720 --> 01:37:16,360 [car crashing] 1900 01:37:17,600 --> 01:37:18,600 No way. 1901 01:37:18,680 --> 01:37:21,720 And both times, it rose from the dead... 1902 01:37:21,800 --> 01:37:23,760 -[engine revving] -...and soldiered on. 1903 01:37:23,840 --> 01:37:25,000 [Richard] Oh! 1904 01:37:26,320 --> 01:37:28,960 [Jeremy] That's why the Evo and its traveling companions 1905 01:37:29,040 --> 01:37:35,120 are exactly the sort of cars a show like this is honoured to honour. 1906 01:37:35,200 --> 01:37:37,720 [slow music] 1907 01:37:48,040 --> 01:37:49,040 Hi, there. 1908 01:37:54,800 --> 01:37:57,800 [engine whirring] 1909 01:38:00,400 --> 01:38:03,120 [crew member] Shore to Jeremy, Richard, James. 1910 01:38:03,200 --> 01:38:04,760 -[man] They're here. -[man #2] Why have they gone down there? 1911 01:38:04,840 --> 01:38:06,200 [man #3] They're getting further away. 1912 01:38:06,280 --> 01:38:07,360 -[man #3] I'm losing them. -[man #4] What? 1913 01:38:07,440 --> 01:38:10,120 [engine whirring] 1914 01:38:11,160 --> 01:38:13,200 Guys, you're supposed just to taxi round. 1915 01:38:15,960 --> 01:38:17,560 What the... 1916 01:38:17,640 --> 01:38:19,680 [crew member] They're not supposed to be on that. That's a prop. 1917 01:38:20,760 --> 01:38:22,840 They're not supposed to take off. 1918 01:38:22,920 --> 01:38:27,080 -They're supposed to be on that one. -[engine rumbling] 1919 01:38:31,360 --> 01:38:33,640 [steady music]