1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 MoviesWbb.CoM 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:03,629 [Christmas music playing] 3 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:50,669 [engine revving] 4 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:57,830 [music ends] 5 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,351 [commercial announcer on TV] Welcome to the Villa Capri. 6 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,359 Located in the heart of the desert 7 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,352 is the resort community that takes you to paradise. 8 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,871 You’ve worked hard all of your life, 9 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:09,190 and now-- 10 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,995 [heavy breathing] 11 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:13,390 No! 12 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,195 [exhales, grunts] 13 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:28,514 That son of a bitch 14 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,239 is in Palm Springs. 15 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,638 [breathless] He's basking in the sun and playing golf. 16 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:38,350 While my husband is drinking toilet wine in supermax! 17 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:39,873 [gasping] 18 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:42,230 [panfing] 19 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:43,916 [grunts] 20 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,512 Now the only thing that I want from you for Christmas 21 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,115 is that rat's head in a box! 22 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,951 And make it look like it's an accident. 23 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,673 [Steven Davis's "A Few More Days Till Christmas" playing] 24 00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:17,473 J‘ A few more days till Christmas J‘ 25 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,715 J‘ My favorite time of year J‘ 26 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,831 J‘ If we’re lucky we’ll see Santa J‘ 27 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,995 J‘ Rudolph and his eight reindeer J‘ 28 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:32,031 J‘ The snow keeps on fallin’ J‘ 29 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,588 J‘ Sleddin' down the hill J‘ 30 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,751 J‘ Frosty's frozen on the lawn J‘ 31 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,430 J‘ Countin' down the days until J‘ 32 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,718 J‘ We gather ’round decorate the tree J‘ 33 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,114 J‘ Singin' holiday songs J‘ 34 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:53,389 J‘ Spices fill the air J‘ 35 00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:56,036 J‘ Smell of cookies everywhere J‘ 36 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,152 -Hi, Duke. -Hey. 37 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,476 J‘ A few more days to Christmas J‘ 38 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,228 J‘ The very best time of year J‘ 39 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,438 J‘ Fire/ight is glowing J‘ 40 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,751 J‘ On everything we hold dear J‘ 41 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,552 J‘ Just a few more days till Christmas I 42 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:20,188 J‘ A few more days J‘ J‘ Till Christmas is here J‘ 43 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:24,193 -Hi. -Thank you. 44 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:27,830 Santa! 45 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,998 Oh! You're very generous, Duke. 46 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,911 Could I get you to sign this receipt for me? 47 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,711 Sure thing. You just bought your way off 48 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,153 -the naughty list. -Pleasure. 49 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,233 J‘ Rudolph and his eight reindeer J‘ 50 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,793 J‘ Fire/ight is glowing J‘ 51 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,793 J‘ On everything we hold dear J‘ 52 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,871 J‘ Just a few more days till Christmas I 53 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:55,354 J‘ A few more days till Christmas J‘ 54 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:58,557 -[man] Hey boss! -[Duke] Greatjob, guys. Very festive. 55 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:09,750 [song ends] 56 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:16,033 [mellow music playing] 57 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,672 -Excuse me. This is Mr. Diver's spot. -Perfect! 58 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,357 Mr. Diver make you wear those clothes? 59 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:40,915 Shine it up for me, Elf. 60 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,390 -[Jimmy] Nice tree. -[Duke] Who is that in my parking spot? 61 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:50,074 [Jimmy] Oh, that's a new resident, Leo McKay. 62 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,310 Yeah, he just checked in last night and he's actually very-- 63 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,868 He's got a ten-gallon hat on a five-gallon head. 64 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,155 Paid all cash. 65 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,236 Cash? 66 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,828 Well... [clicks tongue] 67 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,279 Let's invite him to my private poker game. 68 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,549 You got it. 69 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,439 I'll show him who's boss. 70 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,318 -In the nicest way. -Of course. 71 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:18,239 -lt's crooked. -Hm? 72 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:23,151 -And there's a bald spot. -So what? A lot of trees have flaws. 73 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,468 A lot of people have flaws. 74 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,391 You can put the bad side of a tree against the wall. 75 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,072 What do you do with the bad side of people? 76 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,831 -That's deep. -Write it down. 77 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:35,590 Greetings, my darling. 78 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,674 Be a dear and get 5,000 out of petty cash for me. 79 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:39,670 Not a problem. 80 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,151 Got some stuff for you to sign here, sir. 81 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,397 Did you know that the builders of the great cathedrals of Europe 82 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,869 would leave a small flaw in the stone somewhere 83 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:51,269 just to acknowledge that only God is perfect? 84 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:52,395 Where do you learn all this stuff? 85 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:53,833 College of life, my boy. 86 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:56,354 Well, we've got the gardener's Christmas bonus, 87 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,998 the extra security cameras for your villa, 88 00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,798 the bonus you asked me to pay out to the entire staff, 89 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:03,230 live animals for the nativity scene. The camels were a little expensive. 90 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,197 You can't a nativity without camels. 91 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,073 The Wise Men came from the East. 92 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:08,275 Got to give them respect. 93 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,238 Oh, and we have a letter from the Rotary Club 94 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:12,310 confirming your acceptance 95 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,709 -of Man of the Year Honors-- -I can't accept. Can't accept. 96 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,872 I'm uncomfortable in the limelight. 97 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,674 You seem comfortable in the limelight. 98 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,917 My golf clubs! Oh, perfect, perfect! 99 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,992 So, I had them close the face on the driver by a degree and a half. 100 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,150 You've been slicing a little recently. Should take care of it. 101 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,349 Good, good, good. 102 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:31,752 I think I'll just run on out to the range and let the big dogs eat. 103 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:32,795 [Ginger] Oh, Duke! 104 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:34,430 [Duke] Hm? 105 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,598 -Five thou. Mm-hm. -Thank you, my darlin'. 106 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,351 Duke, you checkin' me out? 107 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,671 -Every delicious inch. 108 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,438 That's a nice tree you got this year. 109 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:48,830 Well, thank you, 110 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,876 but I'm a little concerned that some of the residents 111 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:52,916 might not like a flocked tree. 112 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:55,990 Well, you know me, Duke. 113 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,114 I like a nice flockin' from time to time. 114 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,393 [Duke] A bit of Henkell's Trocken for my darlin'? 115 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,835 [giggles] Whatever. 116 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,708 [snickers] It's a little before my bedtime, but... [grunts] 117 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:14,318 -Aw, it's always your bedtime, Duke. -[both chuckle] 118 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,960 But darlin', you know a man's nature is a man's... 119 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,352 [both laughing] 120 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:20,873 [Susan Werner, "Don't Forget To Remember Christmas" playing quietly] 121 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:26,476 Hey, why don't I go and enhance the fireplace in the boudoir. 122 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:27,636 Would you like that? 123 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,278 -Yeah, I would. -Okay! 124 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,113 [whistling] 125 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:40,836 [Roberta] Hope you don't mind. I let myself in. 126 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:42,710 Pour moi? 127 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:47,075 Uh... of course! 128 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,354 [Roberta giggles] 129 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,072 What is the color of that silk against your skin? 130 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,831 There's a painting by Caravaggio. You could have been-- 131 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,239 It's plum. 132 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,234 And you're my plum. 133 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,275 Oh! 134 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:06,639 Listen, darling, l-- I'm just gonna go and... lock up, turn out all the lights, 135 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,518 and come back and submit to your every whim. 136 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,478 My every whim. 137 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,515 [growls] 138 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,068 Oh... Hurry back. 139 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,158 [music continues] 140 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,238 [giggles] 141 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,788 Uh-- Marguerite darlin', l-- I think the... 142 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:32,479 Zoloft and the Lipitor are kicking in a little early on me. 143 00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,118 |-- | feel woozy. 144 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,959 -Hold on a minute. -[Duke] What? 145 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,118 [whispers] Have you got another woman in there? 146 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:43,479 Oh, Marguerite... you hurt me with your accusation. 147 00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:47,872 You twist the knife. The wound bleeds. 148 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,997 You-- you get such pleasure out-- out of my discomfort. 149 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,911 -l-- ljust don't-- -Hold on a second, mister. 150 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,672 You didn't answer my question. 151 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,956 Darling, trust me... 152 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,390 I speak from the heart when I say... 153 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,911 Yes, there's a woman in the bedroom. 154 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,195 [sighs] All right. Well... 155 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:14,955 I know I'm not your one and only, and we've got a grown-up relationship. 156 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:16,996 -Yes. -So, I'll... 157 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:19,149 Well, I'll just say good night. 158 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:24,313 -[Marguerite] I'm fine. -N-- no! Let me, let me-- 159 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,755 -let me walk you to your door, okay? -[Marguerite] Mm-hm. 160 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,757 In your own way, Duke, you are strangely chivalrous. 161 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,553 [chuckles] Merci beaucoup. 162 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,074 [Marguerite] Still a cat, of course, but you got rules. 163 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,720 Aw, I consider myself a gentleman. 164 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:47,792 And so, "Good night. Good night. Parting is such sweet sorrow. 165 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,273 I shall say good night till it be 'morrow." 166 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,717 [chuckles] Can I quote you on that? 167 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,313 Well, you be my guest, Romeo. 168 00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,470 Actually, I'm-- I'm surprised you even considered a little romance tonight 169 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:01,629 given the circumstances. 170 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,350 Circumstances? 171 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:04,669 Well, this is your poker night. 172 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,070 Ciao. 173 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,668 Uh... poker? 174 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,476 Pokefl 175 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:15,312 [upbeat music playing] 176 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,229 [gasps] 177 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,437 I got the feeling that the Duke 178 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:30,473 needed a little... Roberta. 179 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,234 [chuckles] Uh, yes. 180 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,238 The Duke-- the Duke always needs a little Roberta. [chuckles] 181 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:43,395 Well, from the way you just said it, it sounds like a "not tonight". 182 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:49,240 Well, l have a meeting that requires urgent attention, darling. 183 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,436 -At night? -lt's morning in China. 184 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,831 [chuckles] 185 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,276 Uh, well, good night, good night, darling. Parting is such sweet sorrow. 186 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:05,390 "A horse, a horse. My kingdom for a horse." 187 00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,355 -[nickers like a horse] -Mm-hm. 188 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,278 [men's laughter] 189 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,514 So, a guy comes home from the doctor's. 190 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,558 He tells his wife, "Honey, I got terrible news." 191 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:24,470 Terrible news. 192 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,949 "Doctor says, I only got 12 hours to live." 193 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,548 -Uh-huh. -Wife says, "Oh dear, that's terrible. 194 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,996 That's terrible. I'll do anything for you. Whatever you want." 195 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:37,471 And he says, "I want to have wild sex with you all night long." 196 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,468 And she looks at him and says, 197 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,835 "Easy for you to say. You don't have to get up in the morning." 198 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,879 -[laughter] -[Larry] That's funny! That's very funny! 199 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,110 All right. Who's betting? Who's betting? Who's betting? 200 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:52,512 It's me, and I'm goin' in for big money. 'cause I wanna take everything you got. 201 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,955 I'll see your 100 and raise you two. 202 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,713 -[Larry] That' a 100 bucks! -[overlapping chatter] 203 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,472 -l'll see you, I'll see you. -[chatter continues] 204 00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,232 I heard this is where the action's at. 205 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,230 Who the hell are you? 206 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,675 I'm Leo McKay. I'm moving into um... 207 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,671 Villa 71. Welcome, neighbor. 208 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:07,670 Hi. 209 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,870 I'm Duke Diver, resident manager of this little corner of paradise. 210 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,197 -These are my cronies. -Duke's a legend. 211 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:16,679 Legends ain't what they used to be, are they? 212 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,193 [Larry] Yeah, but you don't know Duke. 213 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,316 He's a resident champion of everything around here. 214 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,753 Guys, you're embarrassing me. 215 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,759 I'm just a country boy tryin' to fade into the sunset 216 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:25,955 with smile on my face. 217 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:27,075 Ain't we all? 218 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,549 But I gotta warn you, cousin, we play for real money here. 219 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,029 Well, I'll try to keep up. 220 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,711 -[Joey] Oh. -[Larry] Holy shit-- That's a wad, man! 221 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,079 Shitjust got real up in here! 222 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,310 [Burt] That's my alimony, I can't, man, this is two months... 223 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,196 Okay. 224 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:42,469 [Joey] Now, where you from, Leo? 225 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:46,713 I'm a citizen of the world. Mogadishu, Jakarta, Kabul. 226 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,919 All the vacation spots. 227 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,039 -[Joey] Military? -No. Ex-military. 228 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,270 Currently entrepreneur. 229 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,234 International trade. | buy stuff, sell stuff. 230 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,230 Like? 231 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:02,115 Gas, guns, oil, trains, trucks. Big stuff. I like big stuff. 232 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,714 [overlapping chatter] 233 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,993 And a man of mystery. 234 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:10,949 How about we play some cards? 235 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:12,873 What's your game, cousin? 236 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:17,112 You like Five Card Draw, Stud, Omaha, Texas Hold 'Em? 237 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,110 Texas will do. 238 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:19,630 Deal 'em, Joey. 239 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,348 [Joey] And a five and a ten, ten. 240 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:23,590 Ace high. 241 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,195 Why don't we double that. 242 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,078 -[Larry] Wow. -[Burt] You guys are bank robbers. 243 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,594 My 700. Here's the river. 244 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,439 -[Larry] Look at that! -[overlapping chatter] 245 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,433 I'm gonna-- just for the shit's sake, I'm gonna bump it two. 246 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,350 [Leo] There's nine. 247 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,032 -Burt, what are you? You all-in? -|'m out. 248 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,833 And I'm all-in. 249 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,911 [Larry] Oh man! What we gonna do? 250 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,070 Okay, y'all. Read 'em and weep. 251 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,720 -Fu|l boat, aces up. -[Larry] Holy shit! 252 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,028 [Larry] We warned ya, Leo! 253 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,517 -That's four tens. -[Larry gasps] What? 254 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,630 -[Leo] Four tens. -[Larry] Damn, he beat Duke. 255 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,039 [Burt] I am deader than dead. 256 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,439 [Larry] I'm all cleaned out. 257 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:06,156 [Leo] Damn, I was lucky! 258 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,919 Sometimes you step in horseshit and you wind up smellin'-- 259 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,719 Excuse me, you know, I think that one's mine. 260 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,788 I didn't see that. 261 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,553 -[chuckles] -What do you want? Why'd you come here? 262 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,320 I came here to continue developing my business empire 263 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,991 while working on my shaky golf game. 264 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,869 Oh, you-- you play golf? 265 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:28,072 Not well, but honestly and earnestly. 266 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,720 Well, uh, perhaps you will give me the chance 267 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,711 to win back my money on the golf course. 268 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:33,789 [Leo] Perhaps I will. 269 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:34,790 [snickers] 270 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,834 You know, a true gentleman does not walk away a winner. 271 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,828 A true gentleman keeps the game alive. 272 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,476 Oh, my, my, my, my! Behold the evidence. 273 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,837 Whatever can it mean? 274 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:52,435 She's lookin' for deep comfort and companionship and maybe a soulmate. 275 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,509 [Duke] Nuh-uh. 276 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,553 She's not lookin' for soulmate. 277 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,837 She's lookin' for a few precious hours of intimate connections 278 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,678 with no questions asked. 279 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,115 Maybe I'll just go over there and pick up the tab, huh? 280 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,155 Can't compete with that. 281 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,190 [Duke] Shit! 282 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,356 Well, could if I wanted to. 283 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,075 Can I buy you another round? 284 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,071 You can scram is what you can do. 285 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,479 J‘ The first noel J‘ 286 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,677 J‘ The angel did say J‘ 287 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:35,552 J‘ Was to certain poor shepherds J‘ J‘ In fields as they lay J‘ 288 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:42,519 J‘ In fields where they J‘ J‘ Lay keeping their sheep J‘ 289 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,558 [Roberta on PA] Season's greetin’s, y'all. 290 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,190 Good news to report. Mike Shank from villa 68 291 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,840 had a successful hip replacement surgery 292 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,754 and should be back to the Villa Capri in just a few days. 293 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:55,875 What the... 294 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,879 That's not my regular camel guy. Where's my regular camel guy? 295 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,633 Uh, he's uh, under the weather. 296 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,950 Oh, uh, corporate is sending a regional director down 297 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,792 to do a year-end review in case it... 298 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,390 slipped your mind. 299 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:14,793 I will look down upon him from a great height. Bring him on. 300 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,592 Yeah. Bring him on. 301 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,715 Ladies, have you seen the new guy? 302 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,794 He's moving into villa 71. 303 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:28,117 There's new food on the buffet. 304 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,235 -Yes. -[chuckles] 305 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,039 Oh, in the air, there's a feelin' of Christmas. 306 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:35,112 I'm Leo McKay, and you young ladies might be... 307 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,316 [overlapping chatter] 308 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:39,476 Look at that. 309 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,513 I spent years juggling stories to keep those women apart, 310 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,239 and in 20 minutes, he's got them lined up for a three-way. 311 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,551 Well, uh, four-way if anybody's countin'. 312 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,517 [Duke] He's not showing me any respect. 313 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,033 -No respect. -[Larry] No. Nothin'. 314 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,953 But he's gonna find out this is my town. 315 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,630 You're the Duke and this is your domain. I told you. 316 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,115 -Don't upset him, Larry! -[Larry] Duke don't like that. 317 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:03,074 [knocking on door] 318 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,713 -Well, hello. -Hello. 319 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,559 I'm Roberta. We met earlier. 320 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,911 You know, I neglected to mention 321 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:18,232 that as president of the Glad-Handers Welcome Wagon Club 322 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:24,395 here at Villa Capri Resort Community, | just wanted to say Merry Christmas. 323 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,994 Oh! You know, I could help you fix the place up. 324 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,150 You know, a little Feng Shui. 325 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:33,990 Oh! 326 00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,236 -I got skills. -l'll bet you do. 327 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,993 What you got back here? The dinin' room? 328 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,269 The bedroom. Giddy-up! 329 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,149 [knocking on door] 330 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:55,068 Hi. I'm Marguerite with the Welcome Wagon Club. 331 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,435 -Are you a Glad-Hander? -[Marguerite] How'd you know? 332 00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:58,430 [giggles] 333 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:02,593 As secretary-treasurer, I brought a little somethin' to warm up your place. 334 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,274 -A work of art. -My sentiments exactly. 335 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,755 -And thank you. -For what? 336 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:12,674 Did you just invite me in for a little vino? [giggles] 337 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,349 Red? I love red. 338 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,348 I love white. I love it all. 339 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:23,149 Well, then how about a lovely Margaux for a lovely Margot? Can I call you that? 340 00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,958 You can call me whatever you like. 341 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,954 By the way, lam in villa 52. 342 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,554 And I'm in villa 36. What you gonna call me? 343 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,949 Oh my God! How did you get here before me? 344 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,395 You know that the by—laws of our club clearly state 345 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,948 that the president and not the secretary-treasurer 346 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,598 should be the first Welcomer on the scene. 347 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,472 Okay, well let's just call this an unofficial visit. 348 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:42,515 -Unofficial? -Why don't we just have a taste 349 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:43,789 of this delightful vintage? 350 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:47,031 -[Marguerite] Oh! -[Lily] Don we now our straight apparel. 351 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:48,473 -Oh, my God! -[Leo] And what office 352 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,313 of Glad-Handers Welcome Wagon Club might you hold? 353 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,438 Sergeant-at-arms. 354 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,750 Flag flying stiff and ready, I bet. 355 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,478 I think this party's just gettin' started. 356 00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,438 -Here, why don't I take you to dinner? -[ladies in unison] All of us? 357 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:04,909 [Lily] Thank you. 358 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,195 -[Leo] Oh, boy. -[Lily] Oh, yes, sir. 359 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,190 [whispering] Look at him. Look at him. 360 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,992 [Duke] He's got all three of 'em? 361 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,109 He's bangin' your entire harem, boss. 362 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,272 Oh my God! Some big, brass huevos he's got! 363 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:22,874 Is he punkin' you, boss? 364 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,396 He's playin' into my hand is what he's doin'. 365 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:26,390 [Joey grunts softly] . 366 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,876 He said his golf game is shaky, am I right? 367 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,359 -That's what he said. -[Burt] That's what he said. 368 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,393 Well, gentlemen, who knows this golf course better than me? 369 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,475 -[Larry] Old cowboy's in trouble now. -[Burt] Oh, I feel bad for Leo. 370 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,437 -We'll see. -[Burt chuckles] 371 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,516 [upbeat music playing] 372 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:52,397 I hereby challenge you to 18 holes of golf tomorrow morning at 9 am. sharp. 373 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,628 [Larry] Cowboy done stepped in it now. 374 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,039 [instrumental "Joy To The World" playing] 375 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,517 [Roberta] We hear that you consider yourself a citizen of the world. 376 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,234 Now exactly what does that mean to you? 377 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,309 It means that l have traveled 378 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,994 from the Cape of Good Hope to the Black Sea, 379 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,834 from Machu Picchu to Brunelleschi's Dome. 380 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,277 l have been to the birthplace of Mr. Shakespeare. 381 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:24,397 And I have been to the gravesite of Mr. Lombardi. 382 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:25,515 [Roberta] Oh. 383 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:32,115 l rose from the dusty fields to the gilded halls of power, 384 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,634 first in the military and then in the business world, 385 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,837 and yet, to this day, I retain my touch to the common man! 386 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,238 For that is who I am. 387 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,756 Oh, Mr. McKay, you are indeed a poet. 388 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,149 I'm not a poet but I have read the great works. 389 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,672 Would you favor us with a poem? 390 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:49,988 -[Leo grunts] -Pretty please. 391 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,072 Well, why not? Um, Baudelaire? 392 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,434 More modernist, maybe? 393 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,715 Yeats? Williams? Cummings? 394 00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:02,158 Or-- or perhaps something a little more... earthier with a... 395 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,277 -backdrop of Christmas. -[overlapping chatter] 396 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:05,509 The last one. 397 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:06,830 May I? 398 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:08,310 Uh.. 399 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,034 "There are strange things done in the midnight sun 400 00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,076 By the men who moil for gold; 401 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,592 The Artic trails have their savage tales 402 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,989 That will make your blood run cold; 403 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,150 The Northern Lights have seen queer sights, 404 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,832 But the queerest they ever did see 405 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,194 -Was that night on the marge -[dog barking] 406 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,556 of Lake Lebarge l cremated Sam McGee." 407 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,753 -[Suzie] Romeo! Romeo! -"Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee--" 408 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:34,237 Oh, Romeo! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 409 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:35,799 I'm sorry, he broke away. 410 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,719 He's a sweetheart but I can never shut him up. 411 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,758 -[shushes] Sit. Be a good dog. -[barking and growling] 412 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,118 [Leo] Sit down. [shushes] 413 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:48,670 How'd you do that? 414 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,189 I like dogs. 415 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,429 Oh! Yeah? 416 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,269 -|'m Leo McKay. -Oh, Suzie Quince. 417 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,998 -Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you. 418 00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,279 I'm so sorry to interrupt whatever it is you're doing. 419 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,509 That's quite all right. 420 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,399 Okay. Well, carry on. 421 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,356 "On Christmas Day we were mushing our way along the Dawson trail. 422 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,029 Talk of your cold! Through the parkas fold. 423 00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:15,155 It stabbed like a... 424 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,997 it stabbed like a driven nail." 425 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,478 -[laughter] -[overlapping chatter] 426 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:33,719 [Burt] Sr. Jiménez! 427 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,189 [Joey] Miguel Jimenez! That's it. 428 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:37,635 Here he comes. 429 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,836 That's it. Loosen up, Dukie. 430 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,109 You got 'em now. 431 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,758 [overlapping chatter] 432 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,037 Good morning! I accept your challenge. 433 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:47,833 Well, I'm loose as a goose. 434 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:52,119 Mark Twain said that golf is a good walk spoiled, but I say... 435 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,679 It's a good walk enhanced. 436 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,751 Except that neither one of us is walking, huh? 437 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,798 -[Leo] Details, details, details. -[laughter] 438 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:00,835 I am a big picture man. 439 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,156 Uh, boss, we got a problem. 440 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,117 -What? -This guy can flat-out play! 441 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,792 He said his game was shaky. 442 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,316 His shaky is better than your shaky. 443 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:12,719 -Wait-- -Boss. 444 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,393 We watched him warm up this morning. 445 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,153 This guy can flat out hit. I ain't lyin'. 446 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:18,549 I got a short game. 447 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,393 He's got a short game, too, and a long game. 448 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:22,515 I assume I have the honors. 449 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,476 [Duke] Uh, yes, you do. 450 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,791 Um, just a word of caution. Out of bounds is to your right. 451 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,472 -[laughter] -That's the way I like it. 452 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:29,629 It's to the left. 453 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,478 -[shouting] -[overlapping chatter] 454 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,918 [Burt] Oh shit! The guy can hit the ball. 455 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,995 Is that a legal club? I don't think that's a legal club. 456 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,718 -My side bet with you is off. -[overlapping chatter] 457 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,358 We might as well get some new girlfriends. 458 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,874 Thanks for the confidence, fellas. Gee whiz! 459 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,554 Well, you're a thinking man. It's a thinking man's game. 460 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:56,631 I think I'm gonna hit a three wood out here. 461 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:57,755 [Joey] Three wood. Good idea. 462 00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:58,955 -Are you sure? -Yeah that'll be good. 463 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,435 Yeah, okay. 464 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:03,230 [Joey] Let it fly. 465 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,114 -[snake hisses] -[Duke gasps] Oh shit! 466 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,872 [shouting] 467 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,234 [Larry] It's a damn cobra! 468 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,959 -[Joey] Gun! Gun! -l-- l-- I got it! I got it! 469 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,711 -[Larry] Damn! -[Duke] I got it! I got it! 470 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:14,710 [Larry] You see that? 471 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,468 [shouting] 472 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,591 [Burt] Oh, my God. Oh, my God! 473 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,157 Okay, die, viper! 474 00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:27,997 -[Joey] You got him surrounded. -[Larry] Still movin'! 475 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,159 Don't hurt yourself with that thing. 476 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,798 Somebody bring a beer cooler, please. 477 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,711 Somebody put a cap on-- put a top on the bucket. 478 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,551 I never had you figured for a man packin' iron 479 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:46,914 even if it is a peashooter. 480 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,715 [mumbling] You never know who's lurkin' around. 481 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,272 Take him to the Serpentarium in 29 Palms. 482 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:56,033 -[woman screams] -[Larry] Look out! Look out! 483 00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,429 Sit-- sit on that thing. Sit on it, you're the biggest. 484 00:24:58,520 --> 00:24:59,430 Come on. 485 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,311 Oh! Goddamn! 486 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,510 -Wait! Wait! -[woman screams] 487 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,592 [overlapping chatter] 488 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,440 -You're good. Sit on it now. Sit down. -[Joey] Sit down. 489 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:14,350 Oh, we're good. 490 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,270 I almost got bit. 491 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:16,759 I'm not going anwvhere near that golf bag. 492 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:17,989 [Leo] You bailin' out of our game? 493 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:21,510 l have trouble swingin' a golf club with a rattlesnake wrapped around it, Leo. 494 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:26,594 -You're afraid to play me. -|'m not afraid of anything or anyone. 495 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:30,990 Coward. 496 00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:33,189 [Larry] Doin' a good job, Burt. 497 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,955 -[Roberta] Come on, I need a drink. -[Lily] I think it's happy hour. 498 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,358 -...sit on that thing... Leo, hell am I supposed to do now? 499 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,358 Hell, I don't know. Not my problem. 500 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:45,830 [woman] Sit on it! 501 00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:50,351 When a man lets another man take care of his golf bag, Jimmy, 502 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,078 he has certain expectations. 503 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:56,119 You think a snake zipped himself into a pocket in my bag? 504 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,549 Snakes don't have opposable thumbs. 505 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:00,913 This was not an accident. 506 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,030 Shit! 507 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:07,515 What took you so long? 508 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,110 Oh, thank you. 509 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,598 | see I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson. 510 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,557 I would love to have another poker lesson 511 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,756 unless you find it easier just to write me a check. 512 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,550 Tell me somethin', did you move to Villa Capri 513 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:20,795 just to piss me off? 514 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,711 No, that was just a happy by—product. 515 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,916 But this anger is doin' you a lot of good. 516 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,718 It gets the blood circulating throughout your entire body 517 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:27,994 instead of down there in your little ol'-- 518 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,275 You're lucky I have a commitment of a higher calling at home. 519 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,716 You and I... just gettin' started. 520 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:37,955 I can hardly wait. 521 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:40,310 Nice fella. 522 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:44,629 [phone rings] 523 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:50,590 Tell me he's dead. 524 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:52,670 [sighs] 525 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:54,708 |-- |-- I know! 526 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,751 I told you to make it look like an accident, 527 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,990 but a snake in his golf bag? 528 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:00,910 Sweetie, 529 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,958 murder him the old-fashioned way. 530 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:06,750 [sighs] 531 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:08,599 [Roberta on PA] Attention, residents: 532 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,116 The annual tree lighting is about to begin in the banquet hall. 533 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,790 Come enjoy the holiday season, sip some eggnog, 534 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,872 and see everyone's favorite Santa Claus. 535 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,952 [Duke humming "Deck The Halls"] 536 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,554 J‘ Fa-la-la-Ia-Ia, la-la-la-la J‘ 537 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:28,839 J‘ 'Tis the season J‘ J‘ To be jolly fa-la-la... J‘ 538 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,318 Hey, uh, whoa, whoa! 539 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,551 Santa, what the hell do you think you're doin'? 540 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,358 -This is myjob. -Oh, no, no, no. It's not. 541 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,556 l was hired by the corporation that owns Villa Capri 542 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,313 and 26 other luxury villages in California. 543 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,478 My party rental company will supply Santas, Easter Bunnies, 544 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,717 fife and drum trios for the Fourth, and all holidays through the year. 545 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:49,995 | just signed the contract. 546 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:51,115 Well, ho, ho, ho. 547 00:27:51,360 --> 00:27:52,952 You're tellin' me you're a corporate Santa? 548 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,474 -lt's a gig. -lt's a sacred trust! 549 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,869 Sacred trust to you. 20 bucks an hour to me. 550 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,955 J‘ Deck the halls with boughs of holly J‘ 551 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,109 J‘ Fa-la-la-la-Ia... J‘ 552 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:03,275 It's a disgrace. 553 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,432 J‘ 'Tis the season to be jolly J‘ 554 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,670 Hello, Palms Springs! Thank you all for comin' out. 555 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,113 Duke's not gonna like this. 556 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,954 -[Burt] Who is this guy? -[Larry] Here comes the freight train. 557 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:14,992 I got your ho-ho right here. 558 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,752 [crowd exclaims] 559 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:17,835 [man] Yes! 560 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:22,316 That ain't the real Santa. I'm the real Santa. 561 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,830 This guy's a fraud, a phony. 562 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,229 -He's a sleazy, corporate heathen! -[al| shouting] 563 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:35,795 Go, Black Santa! 564 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,836 [all cheering] 565 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,352 [Leo] There ya go! Back to the North Pole! 566 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,597 [overlapping chatter, applause] 567 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:53,229 What got into you? 568 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:55,678 I don't like people fucking with Santa Claus. 569 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,194 [cheers, applause] 570 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:01,510 Arturo. 571 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:04,030 Here you are, gentlemen. 572 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:07,749 You, my friend, are a gentleman and a scholar, 573 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,909 and you are indeed here on business. 574 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,030 Whatever that is. 575 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:14,633 My business is my business, 576 00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,473 but your business seems to be sitting in a catbird seat 577 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,229 of one-night stands and Thursday night specials 578 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:21,679 -and Tuesday nooners. -[chuckles] 579 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,718 Which holds no special satisfaction for me. 580 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,355 What? No Tuesday nooners? 581 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,908 I'm not interested in your girlfriends. 582 00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:36,957 But I could endure the courtship of a soulmate. 583 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:42,275 Appreciate it, thank you. 584 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,153 Good. Good boy. 585 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,950 In fact, the perfect soulmate for me might very well be Miss Suzie Quince 586 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:49,435 sitting right there. 587 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:51,315 You-- you know her name? 588 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:52,355 I move like the wind. 589 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,556 -You mean you met her already? -At a taco truck. 590 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:55,755 You liar. 591 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:57,512 Her dog's name is Romeo. 592 00:29:59,080 --> 00:29:59,990 Romeo? 593 00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:06,354 Well, I think Romeo is precisely what she's looking for tonight. 594 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,954 Santa from the southern hemisphere. 595 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:14,109 If she falls for a drunk Santa Claus, I've badly misjudged her character. 596 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:16,635 [whispers] Watch this. 597 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:19,594 And I'm not drunk. 598 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:25,676 Hi. 599 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:27,830 Hi. 600 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:32,234 My name is St. Nicholas. You can call me Nick. 601 00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:33,870 Susan. 602 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,873 I was just... I was just doing some Christmas tree lighting and stuff 603 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,030 with some people who needed some joy. 604 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,194 Well, I guess a half-wit Santa who does kind deeds 605 00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:45,833 for lonely people can't do much harm. 606 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:47,992 [Duke] Then I'll take that as an invitation. 607 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,389 Here we are. Christmas season. 608 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:54,435 Nobody's home. 609 00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,236 Family long gone. Kids far away. 610 00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,677 Is there a husband lurking around? 611 00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:02,599 -Hm? -No. 612 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:05,717 -First one flew the coop. -Ah! 613 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,558 Got married again and I flew the coop. 614 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,519 Lots of coops. 615 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,116 -So, you'll never try it again? -Mm-mm. 616 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,351 I decided my final marriage would be to myjob. 617 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:17,715 That's kind of sad. 618 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,310 It's focused. It's not sad. 619 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,797 You look... sad. 620 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,510 Well, I've been sent here on business 621 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:31,318 to fire someone before the year is out 622 00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,672 during the Christmas season, so... 623 00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,679 Well, if a guy is not up to the task, the quicker you do it, the better, right? 624 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,716 [Suzie] Mm... Yeah. 625 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,358 Season's greetings. Clean out your desk. 626 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:44,475 That's not so easy. 627 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,518 But at least the music cheers me up. 628 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,270 I love Johnny Mathis. I have all 42 of his albums. 629 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:53,873 -Really? -All 42. 630 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:56,073 Johnny is a good friend of mine. 631 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,277 -Come on! -No, really. 632 00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,679 You know Johnny Mathis? 633 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:01,315 We're practically brothers. 634 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:07,118 You know, your hair shines like the shun. 635 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:08,310 The "shun"? 636 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,153 You know, big-ass ball that rises in the East, 637 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,156 -sets in the San Bernardino mountains. -Oh, yeah. Okay. 638 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:16,389 -You know something? -Huh? 639 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:17,754 -Santa Claus... -Hey. 640 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,192 I think we need to go. Let this young lady 641 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:21,633 -have some time to herself. -Thank you. 642 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:22,755 This is Leo. 643 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,231 -Leo is my buddy. -Hello, Leo. 644 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:26,673 Gentleman and a scholar. 645 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,239 I gotta get you outta here, man. You're drunk. 646 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,437 -I'm not drunk, Leo. -I know. 647 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:31,635 -Just overserved. -Come on. 648 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,716 -Okay, come on. -I'II see you later. 649 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:35,911 [whispers] I appreciate the intervention, thank you. 650 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:40,799 Yeah, good boy. 651 00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:50,037 You know, I ever tell you what a gentleman and a scholar you are? 652 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:51,633 Yeah, you did. You did. 653 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,278 Get your ass in the truck. [grunts] 654 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:54,918 [Duke] Watch my knees. 655 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,753 They're old knees. 656 00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:58,348 -[Leo grunts] -Thank you, partner. 657 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:01,230 [Leo sighing] 658 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:02,789 -[Duke slurring indistinctly] -Thank you. 659 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:05,075 [Duke] My friend. 660 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:12,310 [Leo sighing] 661 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:16,832 Leo... You are a very mysterious man. 662 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:18,638 I just play my cards close, that's all. 663 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,152 No, I mean... I mean, I mean you're easy to talk to. 664 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:24,830 Hm? 665 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:30,588 And I got a big secret. Ginormous secret. 666 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,236 -You wanna hear it? -No, not really, no. 667 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:34,673 Seriously, Leo. 668 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,838 -Seriously? -Yeah. 669 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:38,549 You're not a serious man. 670 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,119 A serious man would not have behaved himself 671 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,077 in front of Miss Suzie Quince the way you did. 672 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:43,390 What? 673 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:49,915 [chuckles] You're just jealous because she was so receptive. You-- 674 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,236 You are not as charming as you think you are. 675 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:54,070 Hey... 676 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:56,597 agree to disagree, babe. 677 00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:58,355 [chucang] 678 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,430 -I need a cup of coffee. -You need a new liver. 679 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,279 [Duke] You should have seen what she was doin' with her eyes. 680 00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,271 [Leo] I did. She was looking for an exit. 681 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,356 J‘ Silent night J‘ 682 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,837 J‘ Holy night J‘ 683 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,910 J‘ All is calm J‘ 684 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,392 J‘ All is bright J‘ 685 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,519 J‘ ’Round yon virgin... J‘ 686 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,554 Duke, you still rule this one side of town. 687 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:31,358 -[Duke] Yeah. -[Larry] Kick corporate's ass. 688 00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,469 Leo's, uh, a pretty good guy. 689 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:36,515 [Duke] To the status quo. 690 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,955 -The way we've always done things. -[door opens] 691 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:40,189 -Status quo. -Duke. 692 00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:41,429 -[Duke] What? -Boss is here. 693 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,353 The hell are you talkin' about? I'm the boss. 694 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,715 I mean, the regional director. 695 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,633 Oh, yeah. Send his sorry-ass in. 696 00:34:48,720 --> 00:34:49,630 [dog barks] 697 00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,034 [upbeat music playing] 698 00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:58,114 -[growl] -[Suzie] Hello, 699 00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:00,356 I'm Suzie Quince, regional director. 700 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:05,790 I... thought... I thought you said you were... 701 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:11,077 sent down here to evaluate somebody's job performance, 702 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:14,789 maybe fire them before the year was out? 703 00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:17,196 When you're not Santa Claus, are you Duke Diver? 704 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,474 -Probably. -Well, when a man's not up to the task, 705 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,518 it's best to get it over with quick. 706 00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:24,915 [all protesting] 707 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,719 Guys, guys, why don't you go out and practice 708 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,155 your shuffleboard stroke or something? 709 00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:31,989 [grumbles] 710 00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,436 There are many, many irregularities. 711 00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,432 You're damn right, and I got one I wanna report right now. 712 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:42,350 Please do. 713 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:47,594 They sent us a very, very bad Santa Claus. I wanna know who hired him. 714 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:48,590 I did. 715 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:50,110 I made a deal 716 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,919 with a national party rental firm to service all our outlets. 717 00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:55,478 -Our outlets? -[Suzie] Yes. 718 00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,508 Lady, this is our home. 719 00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:00,435 We have a way of doing things here-- that work. 720 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,317 This isn't your company, Mr. Diver. 721 00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,039 -Protocols are not being followed. -[shouting] Protocols? 722 00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:06,834 Everybody's happy here. 723 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,117 Aren't you happy? And happiness is not a condition, lady. 724 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,556 -It's a choice. -No! Okay. Well, you know what? 725 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:14,870 I don't need your pop psychology, Dr. Phil. 726 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,235 And don't knock Dr. Phil. He's a personal friend of mine. 727 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,637 [laughing] Oh, Johnny Mathis and Dr. Phil. 728 00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:21,914 [laughs mockingly] 729 00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,432 [scoffs] You're an unhappy woman. 730 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,758 And you're wrong about me. 731 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,956 Well, happiness can be found in a lot of places 732 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,640 including a fine bar late at night. 733 00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:32,990 Alone? 734 00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:34,948 -Jimmy? -Hm? 735 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:39,833 Have the bookkeeper gather all records, receipts, contracts, 736 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,717 and have them on my desk in the morning 737 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:46,112 along with every piece of paper that Duke Diver ever signed. 738 00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,353 Uh, you want every single one? 739 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,271 Every single one. 740 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,072 I suppose you want a tour. 741 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:55,718 Of the entire operation. 742 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:57,710 [sing-song] Romeo. 743 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,069 -[Romeo growls, barks] -[mouthing] Oh shit! 744 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:07,993 [Jimmy] I think you're going to be very impressed 745 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:09,473 with what we have going on here. 746 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:11,194 [tango music playing] 747 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,318 [Suzie] Oh, tango. 748 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:15,630 Duke's idea. 749 00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:16,630 [Chinese music playing] 750 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,516 [Suzie] Oh, tai chi. 751 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,079 Also Duke's idea. 752 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,517 Now, I think you're going to be especially impressed with this. 753 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,029 -[Iecturer] This is very important... -This is our regular Thursday class. 754 00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,270 Real sex, loving sex, 755 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,750 affectionate, tender, nasty, dirty sex 756 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:38,037 still must be part of your daily existence. 757 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,839 The older we get, the better it gets. 758 00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,115 [applause] 759 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:44,430 Duke's idea. 760 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:45,869 Catching on. 761 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,679 In defense of Mr. Diver, this place is always packed. 762 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,320 Last week we had this expert on group sex, and he said that the-- 763 00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,517 Oh... there's experts on that? 764 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:56,836 Yes. 765 00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,113 And he was very, 766 00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:01,355 very good. 767 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:03,990 -[barks] -Okay. 768 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,390 I know that you feel like you might have seen enough, but 769 00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:08,836 I promise you this place is absolutely wonderful. 770 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,512 The rocks. You can see the rock formations. 771 00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,119 I don't know if you've studied geology, 772 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:15,397 but I just, I really hope you can come to love it here the way we all do. 773 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,192 I mean, Duke is doing a greatjob. 774 00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:19,395 -If you could just-- -[barks] 775 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,558 [Suzie] It really is beautiful out here. 776 00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:25,230 Leo. 777 00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:29,674 Oh shit! Oh, this is bad. 778 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:31,193 This is gonna be bad! 779 00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:33,593 [Leo] There was some blue in there. 780 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:38,435 That's stunning. 781 00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:39,630 Yes, you are. 782 00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:41,629 [chuckles] 783 00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:46,759 So, uh, you rescue damsels in distress, you're a poet, and you paint. 784 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,558 I'm exploring my feminine side. 785 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:54,669 So, uh, are you friends with Duke Diver? Seems like an odd combination. 786 00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:55,988 Friend is a very strong word. 787 00:38:58,520 --> 00:38:59,316 It's primal. 788 00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:00,919 Yeah. It is. 789 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,194 [Duke] Son of a bitch, what is he up to? 790 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,909 I thought you said you had to uncover enough irregularities 791 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,274 so you could fire me. 792 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:16,519 Well, I'm still reviewing the books. 793 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,079 Your friend's a painter. 794 00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:18,990 [Duke] Who knew? 795 00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:20,559 [Leo] It's the San Jacinto mountains. 796 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,790 -It's the what? -It's the San Jacinto mountains. 797 00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:24,116 Uaughs] 798 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:27,919 Bob Hope's house is right here. 799 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,718 I'm not puttin' Bob Hope's house in my picture. 800 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,472 Thought it would make it better, if you'd ask me. 801 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:33,790 No. Do you see the influence of Cezanne-- 802 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,235 ...I owe everything to Cézanne. 803 00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:39,835 Oh, I see a little more expressionism than impressionism. 804 00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,549 A little bit more Kirchner than Cezanne. 805 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:46,952 Maybe just a tiny touch of Friedensreich Hundertwasser. 806 00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,758 I remind you of Friedrich Hundertwasser? 807 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,675 Hm. I may have to reassess my own work. 808 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,955 I'll assess it: This is shit! 809 00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:58,072 Romeo? Romeo! 810 00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,071 -[Romeo growling] -Oh, no, no! 811 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:01,354 -[coyote howls] -[Romeo whimpers] 812 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:03,110 [Suzie] Oh, God! 813 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:05,430 [coyote yelps] 814 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:06,430 [whimpers] 815 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,195 [Suzie] Romeo! 816 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:12,115 Thank you. 817 00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:16,835 Oh, Leo, thank you. 818 00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,070 Oh, Romeo. Thank you so much. 819 00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,071 Hop in the truck and I will take you to the vet. 820 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:22,070 [Suzie] Oh, Leo! 821 00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:23,989 Mr. Hero. 822 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,749 There. Bob Hope's house. 823 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,514 Looks better. It's not that damn hard. 824 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,669 [Roberta over PA] I have sad news to report to the Villa Capri family today. 825 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:49,153 Mike Shank in villa 68 had a massive coronary 826 00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,800 late last night while I was visiting. 827 00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:54,955 My presence was a total coincidence. 828 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,913 Great, fellas. This is great. This is your finest work. 829 00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:59,349 [Joey] Hey, where you been, boss? 830 00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,796 Miss Quince. She wants my neck and Leo's bed. 831 00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:04,755 Well, what you gonna do? 832 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:05,750 This is war! 833 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:10,468 Everything I've worked for at Villa Capri, everything I've built is at stake. 834 00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,478 And if the corporation takes over, 835 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,994 our very way of life disappears, gentlemen. 836 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:16,878 Miss Quince is evil. 837 00:41:17,240 --> 00:41:20,232 -She is evil, but she's hot. -What you gonna do, boss? 838 00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:25,074 I'm gonna use my legendary charm, if I may be so humble... 839 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,278 -[Joey] Mm-hm. -And seduce her. 840 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,191 Give her a bit of the old je ne sais quoi. 841 00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:31,474 -[Iaughter] -[Larry] That's Spanish, right? 842 00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,992 I'm gonna take the corporate starch outta that woman's knickers. 843 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,069 She deserves it. 844 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,879 And if there's anybody can do it, it's you, Duke. 845 00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,633 But first, Leo McKay. 846 00:41:41,720 --> 00:41:42,630 Mm-hm. 847 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:44,109 I gotta take him down. 848 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:45,553 -Oh! -Take him down? 849 00:41:58,280 --> 00:41:59,190 [growls] 850 00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:06,472 Tie his hind legs together with a pickin' string 851 00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,790 so he doesn't scratch those stitches out. 852 00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:12,949 -Uh, pickin' string? -Yarn. It's soft, a knitting yarn. 853 00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:16,589 Oh, well, thanks. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. 854 00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:19,109 I have to get back and do the company survey. 855 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,998 [chuckles] You take your work seriously and I respect that. 856 00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,674 Yeah. Thank you again. I so appreciate it. 857 00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:26,670 Yes, ma'am. 858 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:39,790 Now what? 859 00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:41,629 Renaissance Man. 860 00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:42,956 [scoffs] 861 00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:46,310 What else do you do? 862 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:48,911 I'm on a journey of self-discovery and exploration-- 863 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,274 Oh, shut up! 864 00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:51,990 [chuckles] 865 00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,993 Villa Capri is not big enough for both of us, Leo. 866 00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:00,919 If you wanna do somethin' about that, 867 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,195 I'll beat you the best of five of anything ever invented. 868 00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:06,278 Game room. One hour. 869 00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:08,558 -I'm not getting fired because you... -Make the call. 870 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:09,550 ...forgot to make the call. 871 00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:10,914 No! I don't care if they call you-- 872 00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,353 -[Suzie] Oh, good! We're all here. -[both] Hey! 873 00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:14,750 Time to sharpen the knives, circle the wagons, 874 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:16,910 -pull up our bootstraps and buckle down. -Hey. 875 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:18,479 It's all here, Miss Quince. 876 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,073 Great. Okay. 877 00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,877 So, when exactly does Duke get petty cash? 878 00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,838 Wh-- whenever he asks for it. |-- I just go and... 879 00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:31,912 Whenever he asks for it? 880 00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:36,869 You know what? This company is not his personal ATM. 881 00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:39,076 Look, Duke is an honorable man. 882 00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,754 I'm sure you're not going to find anything that-- whoa! 883 00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:43,159 Hm, my God! 884 00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,677 Honorable. What do you call these? 885 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,388 Size 14, lots of fun. 886 00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:49,949 You want to audit those, too? 887 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:52,319 You know what? I just might. 888 00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:58,959 Miss Quince will never fall for your... transparent... dishonor. 889 00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:02,555 My dishonor, I'll have you know, is not transparent. 890 00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:13,390 [grunts] 891 00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,189 -I wonder if he could lift me like that. -Oh, my-- 892 00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:20,758 -In my trap. -| counter! 893 00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:25,310 [crowd exclaims] 894 00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:26,670 [grunts] 895 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,833 -This ain't in your wheelhouse, boss. -[shushes] 896 00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,831 -[Leo] Don't go there. -What do you mean, "Don't go there"? 897 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,593 -Your mama said don't go there last night! -[Iaughter] 898 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,556 -Checkmate! -[crowd] Oh! 899 00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:39,153 [overlapping chatter] 900 00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:40,918 [ping pong ball tapping] 901 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:43,234 [crowd] Oh! 902 00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:48,914 [crowd cheers] 903 00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:51,918 igotniigotniigotniigotni 904 00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:54,754 -[Larry] You've got it? -[Joey] You got it? 905 00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,592 -[Larry] You got it! You-- -[Joey] Got it! 906 00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:58,828 -[Joey] You don't got it. -[grunts] Take it. 907 00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:01,275 Take it, take it, take it! 908 00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:03,912 The score is tied, Mr. Diver. 909 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,991 Choose your game to finish this. 910 00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:08,710 Limbo! 911 00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,233 -[Larry] Limbo! -Wow! 912 00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:11,389 -Oh, we got him! -[whistle trills] 913 00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:12,999 I said stop that! 914 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:14,789 You first. 915 00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:15,915 [cheers and shouts] 916 00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:17,228 [calypso music playing] 917 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,110 [overlapping chatter] 918 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,558 He can do it, he can do it! 919 00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:29,115 -[bones cracking] -[groans] 920 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,156 This is bullshit! 921 00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,272 I'll take that as a pass. [laughs] 922 00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:37,119 Music! 923 00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:38,838 [crowd cheers] 924 00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:39,830 [music continues] 925 00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:02,150 [crowd exclaims] 926 00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:19,752 [crowd cheers] 927 00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:20,949 Disqualification! 928 00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:23,508 His knees touched the ground. I'm starting a protest! 929 00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:25,636 [cheers] 930 00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:31,390 [music stops] 931 00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,189 Meet me in your office tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock. 932 00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:35,830 Sharp. 933 00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:37,353 [Elizabeth McQueen, "You, Me and a Christmas Tree" playing] 934 00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:45,071 J‘ You, me and a Christmas tree J‘ 935 00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,274 J‘ Is all I want this year J‘ 936 00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:52,595 J‘ Just me, you and a tree will do J‘ 937 00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,834 J‘ Oh, just to have you near J‘ 938 00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,837 J‘ Beneath the twinkling lights J‘ 939 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,153 J‘ And shiny colored balls J‘ 940 00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,838 J‘ We 'll make our holiday delight J‘ 941 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,070 J‘ While little pine needles fall J‘ 942 00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:11,070 [whooping] 943 00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:13,995 Well, he's late. 944 00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:16,351 That is very unusual. 945 00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:17,759 Duke is very punctual. 946 00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,553 Jimmy, Ginger, why don't you guys take the morning off? 947 00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:24,630 Why don't you not and just sit right there. 948 00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:27,234 -This is business. -Oh, come on. A little bit of the bubbly. 949 00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:29,117 Oh, no, that's not appropriate. 950 00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:32,750 Maison de Chocolat... [speaking French] 951 00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,593 Come on. Try it. 952 00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,354 This... this is about receipts and 953 00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:40,836 and contracts. 954 00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:42,791 Oh, it's nutty and dark. 955 00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,992 [chuckles] Maybe I'll take-- I'll take a couple for later. 956 00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:47,350 Thank you. 957 00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,351 -Thank you. Thank you very much. -Good, good, good. 958 00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:52,637 -Now, it, it, it all adds up. -Oh, no. It doesn't. 959 00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:55,117 Two thousand dollars for camel rental. 960 00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:56,594 [chuckles] 961 00:47:57,200 --> 00:47:59,760 How do you think the Three Wise Men got to Bethlehem? 962 00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:02,994 What does Palm Springs have to do with Bethlehem? 963 00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:04,991 Bethlehem was just like this. 964 00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:09,719 Palm trees, warm breezes, people walkin' around in shirtsleeves. 965 00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:14,191 Not this snow-covered bullshit dreamed up by Hallmark Cards. 966 00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:15,395 I like the snow. 967 00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:19,196 Would you deprive the residents of Villa Capri of their dromedaries? 968 00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,077 Are you a dromedary depriver? 969 00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:22,479 -Okay, forget the camels. -[Duke scoffs] 970 00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,431 The Gentlemen's Club. Dancers. Right there. Dancers. 971 00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:29,431 Yeah. Well, they were strippers. 972 00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:31,272 Oh, I knew it! 973 00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:32,873 No, no! No, no, no! They were sweet. 974 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:37,078 They were-- they were sweet. They made the men feel young and virile. 975 00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,276 Even taught the ladies a couple of tricks, and-- 976 00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:40,998 -and I can vouch for that. -Ew. 977 00:48:42,240 --> 00:48:43,468 [Suzie] Golf clubs. 978 00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:45,312 Personal. Fourteen hundred dollars. 979 00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,908 Probably brought in about a million dollars' worth of business 980 00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,512 hosting potential buyers on the golf course. 981 00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:52,630 -Duke". -Hm? 982 00:48:52,720 --> 00:48:54,472 It's the corporation's petty cash. 983 00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:57,397 You are apparently unfamiliar 984 00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:01,991 with US Tax Codes special addendum 44, parts three and seven 985 00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:06,439 which define explicitly those, and I quote, 986 00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:10,349 "reasonable expenses pertaining to a business's ongoing operation." 987 00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:13,274 -Subparagraph 12, "whereas in the--" -[shushes] Stop it! 988 00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:17,750 Okay. 989 00:49:18,240 --> 00:49:20,549 Just... want to know, 990 00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,000 are you keeping your heart open for me like I am for you? 991 00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:26,640 Um, Duke? I don't even know who you are. 992 00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:30,032 Actually, I can't even find you in the national corporate database. 993 00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:36,232 Oh, well, basically, if I don't exist, what? 994 00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:39,357 -Does that mean we're finished? -No, we haven't even started. 995 00:49:40,720 --> 00:49:44,156 Okay, okay, okay, okay. Anyway, I-- I gotta go and get ready 996 00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:45,719 -for the big Christmas Eve party. -Wh--wh-- 997 00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:49,998 And have I got a surprise for you! [sighs] 998 00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:53,635 I don't want a surprise. 999 00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,554 -|'m sure it's very nice. -You shut up! 1000 00:49:58,440 --> 00:49:59,714 [big band music playing] 1001 00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:02,872 [announcer] And now, ladies and gentlemen, 1002 00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,030 we invite you to please put your hands together 1003 00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:09,955 and give it up for our beloved leader, Duke Diver. 1004 00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:11,359 -[applause] -Hello, everybody. 1005 00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:14,710 -[Iaughs] -[cheering] 1006 00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:19,159 Merry Christmas! 1007 00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:23,672 Mer-ry Christmas! 1008 00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,159 And I'm saying it like that 1009 00:50:25,240 --> 00:50:27,356 because this is really a special Christmas today, 1010 00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:32,309 and I think this is going to be one you will remember far into your future 1011 00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:33,719 which I hope is very long. 1012 00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:34,750 [chuckles] 1013 00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:40,712 But this Christmas is uh, very special to me because I want to dedicate it. 1014 00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:42,997 I want to dedicate it to a very special lady. 1015 00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:45,958 Her name is Miss Suzie Quince, wherever she is. 1016 00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,272 [chuckles] There she is! 1017 00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:51,158 Miss Quince, would you mind stepping forward 1018 00:50:51,240 --> 00:50:52,434 so we know who you are? 1019 00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:55,476 Please, just a couple of steps forward. 1020 00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:58,352 Here she is, ladies and gentlemen. 1021 00:50:58,840 --> 00:50:59,750 Hi. 1022 00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:03,992 On this special day in this special season, Susan, 1023 00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:06,591 I'm dedicating this one to you. 1024 00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:08,953 Ladies and gentlemen, 1025 00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:11,314 Johnny Mathis! 1026 00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:13,079 [cheers, applause] 1027 00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:17,792 -Holy shit! Did you see that? -Atta boy, Dukie! 1028 00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:19,029 You did it again! 1029 00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,793 It's good to see you, my friend. Welcome, welcome. 1030 00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:24,870 This is gonna go well. 1031 00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:28,317 Okay. Thank you. Hi, guys. All right. 1032 00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:30,029 [piano music] 1033 00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:39,639 J‘ Sleigh bells ring are ya listenin' J‘ 1034 00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:43,595 J‘ In the lane snow is glistenin' J‘ 1035 00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:47,636 J‘ A beautiful sight we’re happy tonight J‘ 1036 00:51:48,240 --> 00:51:51,118 J‘ Walkin' in a winter wonderland... J‘ 1037 00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:52,758 I'm walkin', baby. 1038 00:51:53,240 --> 00:51:59,031 Does Roberta have a little Beyoncé thing goin' on tonight or am I hammered? 1039 00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:01,680 Well, she does, but you are hammered. 1040 00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:02,636 Put a ring on it. 1041 00:52:02,720 --> 00:52:03,630 Boys... 1042 00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:06,880 boys, it's time to make our move. 1043 00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:11,478 [mouths] Ms. Marguerite. You and me? 1044 00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:14,279 J‘ Then pretend that he is J‘ J‘ Parson Brown J‘ 1045 00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:16,914 Come on. 1046 00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:20,718 J‘ But you can do the job J‘ J‘ When you're in town J‘ 1047 00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:21,994 I see you. 1048 00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:29,352 J‘ Later on we 'II conspire J‘ J‘ As we dream by the fire J‘ 1049 00:52:30,720 --> 00:52:34,076 J‘ To face unafraid J‘ J‘ The plans that we made J‘ 1050 00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,637 J‘ Walkin' in a winter wonderland J‘ 1051 00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:44,873 J‘ Over the ground lies a mantle of white J‘ 1052 00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:50,315 J‘ A heaven of diamonds J‘ J‘ Shine down through the night J‘ 1053 00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:53,431 Miss Quince, may! have the pleasure of this dance? 1054 00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:54,919 Yes, absolutely. 1055 00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:55,955 [giggles] 1056 00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:59,032 J‘ When it snows J‘ 1057 00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:00,155 [Suzie] Oh, you're good! 1058 00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:01,748 [Leo] Oh, I'm not that good, 1059 00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:04,400 -| just try real hard. -[Suzie] Yes you are, you're really good. 1060 00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:07,756 I've gotta tell ya, you're light on your feet. [laughs] 1061 00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:11,879 J‘ We 'II frolic and play J‘ J‘ The Eskimo way J‘ 1062 00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:15,115 Excuse me, excuse me. Excuse me, excuse me. 1063 00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:16,952 -[Duke clears throat] My turn. -Have some respect for the lady. 1064 00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:19,918 -Gentlemen, gentlemen. -There's only one gentleman here. 1065 00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:21,513 -Stop the music! -[Suzie gasps] 1066 00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:22,589 [microphone feedback] 1067 00:53:22,720 --> 00:53:24,438 You makin' a fool of yourself, Duke. 1068 00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:26,999 I'm callin' your hand. 1069 00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:31,710 [breathless] We're gonna play 18 holes of golf, right? 1070 00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:33,793 Winner... [groans] 1071 00:53:36,240 --> 00:53:38,435 -Christmas morning. -Bring your A-game. 1072 00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:42,069 A-game? [breathless] I'm gonna kick your ass with one hand! 1073 00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:45,116 Oh, no. 1074 00:53:45,240 --> 00:53:46,992 [murmured conversation] 1075 00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,237 J‘ Dashing through the snow J‘ 1076 00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,515 J‘ In a one-horse open sleigh J‘ 1077 00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:58,116 J‘ O'er the fields we go J‘ 1078 00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:00,998 J‘ Laughing all the way ha-ha-ha J‘ 1079 00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,116 J‘ Bells on bobtails ring J‘ 1080 00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:09,113 [chuckles] It's madness. It's all madness. 1081 00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:17,717 Leo can play for real. 1082 00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:19,074 It doesn't matter. We got your back, boss. 1083 00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,879 Yeah, even if you're outta bounds, I got the foot mashie going. 1084 00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:25,270 And I got a hole in my pocket and a half dozen extra balls. 1085 00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:26,349 [laughter] 1086 00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:28,829 -And I got a short game. -[Iaughter] 1087 00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:30,319 [Joey] We got you rigged to win! 1088 00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:31,799 [Burt] Ah, we got you covered. 1089 00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,074 [Larry] I wouldn't even worry about it. 1090 00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:34,912 Cowboy and the playboy. 1091 00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:36,837 -I got my money on the playboy. -All right, all right. 1092 00:54:37,240 --> 00:54:38,116 Ladies and gentlemen, 1093 00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:41,749 this morning's contest will be 18 holes of match play golf 1094 00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:46,432 between Mr. Diver and Mr. McKay, according to official USGA rules. 1095 00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:48,875 Now, I just wanna say before we begin 1096 00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,520 that even though there can only be one winner-- 1097 00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,596 Oh, shut up! I think I have the honors here. 1098 00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:54,630 -Yep. -[Larry] Oh, 1099 00:54:54,720 --> 00:54:55,630 we're starting to kick it now! 1100 00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:57,395 [Duke chuckles] 1101 00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,113 -[all] Oh! -[applause] 1102 00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:04,394 [Joey] Son of a bitch! 1103 00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:06,397 -[Larry] Holy! -[applause continues] 1104 00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,397 [Burt] All right, baby! 1105 00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:11,152 [Burt] All right, Duke. Have at it. 1106 00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:13,916 [Larry] Show us what you got. Come on, let it rip. 1107 00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:14,910 Quiet, please! 1108 00:55:15,240 --> 00:55:17,674 [Larry] You don't gotta tell me to shut up. Let it rip, boss. Let it rip. 1109 00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,076 Leo, pay attention. One hand. 1110 00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:24,953 -One hand. -Waggling. 1111 00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:25,950 [Roberta] Yes. 1112 00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:28,318 -[all] Yes! Yes! -[overlapping chatter] 1113 00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:30,872 -[applause] -[Larry] Let's go! Let's go! 1114 00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,839 Ow! That's how you do it! 1115 00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:35,717 [Joey] Right down the fairway! 1116 00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:37,510 ["Deck The Halls" playing] 1117 00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:41,839 -Yes! -Uh-huh. 1118 00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,115 -[Burt] Yeah! Yeah! -[Joey] Feelin' it! 1119 00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:05,630 [Joey] No, no problem. I got this, I got this. 1120 00:56:05,720 --> 00:56:07,119 [applause] 1121 00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:13,874 Yes, Duke! 1122 00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:21,710 [Jimmy] Settle. 1123 00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,754 -[Larry] Damn, smoother... -[Burt] Oh, good break! 1124 00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:31,750 [music continues] 1125 00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:45,594 That ball is out of bounds. 1126 00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:47,238 -Huh? -Out of bounds. 1127 00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:50,992 Lucky bounce. Must have hit a tree. 1128 00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:52,911 -[chuckles] -[applause] 1129 00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:55,235 [Joey] Oh! 1130 00:56:55,720 --> 00:56:56,869 [Larry] Yeah, great shot, great shot, chief! 1131 00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:58,075 [Burt] All right, Duke, have at it! 1132 00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,271 -[Larry] Oh, boy. -[Burt] You're lookin' real good. 1133 00:57:00,720 --> 00:57:03,757 Oh, cowboy, what you gonna do now, cowboy? 1134 00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:06,638 All right. This is bullshit. 1135 00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:09,355 -What you talkin' about? -lt's bullshit. 1136 00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:13,829 Are you accusing me of conduct unbecoming a man of my reputation? 1137 00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:17,754 I am accusing you of conduct consistent with a man of your reputation. 1138 00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:19,193 You been cheatin' all day long. 1139 00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:22,996 And if I'm keepin' the score correctly, 1140 00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:25,753 you will have to hole that ball on that green to beat me. 1141 00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:27,430 Okay. 1142 00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:28,756 Okay. 1143 00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:29,995 [Joey] You got this shot. 1144 00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:31,830 [Duke] Watch this. 1145 00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:35,314 Tell you what, why don't we, uh, 1146 00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:37,356 run up here right quick and read the green. 1147 00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:39,958 -[Joey] Great thinking. -Not so fast. 1148 00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:42,119 I don't trust you and I never will. 1149 00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:43,759 [Larry] Ah, we plum-bobbing that! 1150 00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:45,592 I'm keepin' my eye on you, man, just like a hawk. 1151 00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:47,550 -God damn! -[screams] 1152 00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:49,030 Oh shit! Oh shit! 1153 00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:52,315 -[Leo] Everybody all right? -[Duke] Shit! 1154 00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:53,833 They found me! They found me! 1155 00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:55,319 -[Leo] Everyone's okay. -[Jimmy] Are you okay? 1156 00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,516 -[screams] -[Leo] Stay calm. Stay calm. 1157 00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,113 We'll have the EMS here in a minute. 1158 00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:00,430 [Larry] Holy shit! 1159 00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:02,239 Probablyjust a gasoline leak. 1160 00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:03,719 It's an electric cart! 1161 00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:05,677 [Burt] Where's my hat? Where's my hat? 1162 00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:06,636 [Larry] Where you goin'? 1163 00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:07,630 [upbeat music playing] 1164 00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:17,229 [exhales] 1165 00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:37,268 [knock on door] 1166 00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:39,989 You want a taste? 1167 00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:42,590 [Leo] It's Leo, and I don't want a taste. Open up. 1168 00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:43,590 Leo? 1169 00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:53,039 You forfeit. I win the golf match. 1170 00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:54,838 You can have the damn golf match. 1171 00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:56,355 Somebody wants me dead! 1172 00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:57,759 Who wants you dead? Who are you? 1173 00:58:58,160 --> 00:58:59,070 lt-- it's, a... 1174 00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:01,796 So, I'm the trophy for a golf match. 1175 00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:05,075 I mean, it's not the first time men have fought over me. 1176 00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:06,912 Which one of you children is winning? 1177 00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,753 No, no, no. We-- we-- we're not fighting over you. 1178 00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:11,519 That would be sexist and outrageous. 1179 00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:14,114 No, we're fighting over the right to court you. 1180 00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:15,030 There's a difference? 1181 00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:17,270 These are fine distinctions that men make. 1182 00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:19,715 Yeah, yeah, we... you misunderstood. 1183 00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,674 We honor, praise and glorify you. 1184 00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:24,512 No criminal intent on Duke's part, 1185 00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:25,953 it's just Duke being Duke. 1186 00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:27,150 Thank you, Leo. 1187 00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:28,878 Do you men hear yourselves? 1188 00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:30,831 -No. - Sh-- should we? 1189 00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:34,635 Excuse me. I trust I've made my point. 1190 00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:39,272 Oh, by the way, did you hear a loud boom a few minutes ago? 1191 00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:42,398 -Uh-uh. -No,no. 1192 00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:44,630 [Leo] You? 1193 00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,833 Corporate's up my ass and you're both lying to me. 1194 00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:50,833 You better report this to the county sheriff. 1195 00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:53,036 Oh, no, no. No, Leo, I beg you. 1196 00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:54,599 Don't take this to the law. 1197 00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:59,316 Leo. Leo! Leo, where you going? 1198 01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,117 Leo, it's not safe for me around here anymore. 1199 01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:05,794 -You've got to get me the hell outta here. -Why would I do that for you? 1200 01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:08,311 Because you don't want bloody chunks of me 1201 01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,311 raining all over Villa Capri! 1202 01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,311 All right, I'll get you outta here but on one condition. 1203 01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,630 You tell me everything. No more bullshit. 1204 01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:16,836 Now, why would I bullshit you, Leo? 1205 01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:18,990 Okay. Bloody chunks it is. 1206 01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:22,356 Uh, okay, okay. Okay. No-- no more bullshit. 1207 01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:25,159 You blew up a golf cart? 1208 01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:26,829 And he wasn't in it? 1209 01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:29,950 [sighs] 1210 01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:33,793 No, it is not your fault. 1211 01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:36,838 Your-- your-- your father never let you murder anyone. 1212 01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:42,674 No, he-- he always said that you did the best digging. 1213 01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:44,314 But sweetheart, 1214 01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:47,957 how many men did you bury from snakebites and bombs? 1215 01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:49,749 Zero! 1216 01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:51,997 They all died from bullet holes! 1217 01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:56,153 So go get some bullets, and do it like your father used to do it! 1218 01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:58,071 [upbeat music playing] 1219 01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:02,949 Who the hell are you? 1220 01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:05,235 My real name is William J. DuPrees. 1221 01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:09,716 I was known for many years as Sweet Willy. 1222 01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:13,757 I was chief counsel for the Bruno family. 1223 01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:14,750 Mob. 1224 01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:19,835 Until I learned that they weren't really in the trucking business. 1225 01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:23,196 And then Feds came around and offered me a choice. 1226 01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:25,475 -And? -I rolled over like a trained show dog. 1227 01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:30,078 The problem was there was this crazy wife and a crazier son, even, 1228 01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:32,590 who threatened to kill me at the trial. 1229 01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:36,231 And then when the brakes went out on my car a week later, 1230 01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:38,551 around came the Feds again... 1231 01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,073 And you went into witness protection. 1232 01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:43,357 And turned it into an art form, if I may say so myself. 1233 01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:45,589 Did you ever change your appearance? 1234 01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:48,595 And mess with this? 1235 01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:50,435 I don't think so. 1236 01:01:51,560 --> 01:01:52,436 The Feds will take care of you. 1237 01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:55,228 -Yeah! They'll relocate me. -So what? 1238 01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:57,711 So, I don't want to be relocated! 1239 01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:00,512 I got it made at the Villa Capri. 1240 01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:03,350 Everything a man could want is there! 1241 01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:06,079 It is my vision that made it what it is today. 1242 01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:12,078 Sex, booze, golf... and then you die. 1243 01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:14,197 Heaven's gonna be a disappointment to you, man. 1244 01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:17,716 Come on, Leo. Help me save what I've built. 1245 01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:19,869 [gunshots] 1246 01:02:21,640 --> 01:02:23,153 -Shit! -[Leo] Nobody messes with my truck! 1247 01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:25,230 Shot my truck! 1248 01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:27,880 Oh, hell! He's tryin' to kill me and you're worried about a truck? 1249 01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:28,870 Hang on. 1250 01:02:29,880 --> 01:02:31,552 [dramatic music playing] 1251 01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:43,590 Shit! Shit! 1252 01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:55,315 -Shit! -[grunts] 1253 01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:04,276 Let's just regroup and-- and-- and make a plan. 1254 01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:05,998 I'm gonna cut the sumbitch off. 1255 01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:22,152 -[Duke] This is a really bad idea, Leo. -Watch this. 1256 01:03:25,400 --> 01:03:26,799 [truck sputters] 1257 01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:29,838 [Duke] Nice work, Leo. Glad I didn't blink. 1258 01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:33,278 -[engine hissing] -[Leo muttering] Damn it. 1259 01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:42,112 This is my brand-new, F-150, 4x4, 1260 01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:47,399 ruby red, extended cab, custom bedliner truck! 1261 01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:53,757 I guess we're going to have to inform Miss Quince of these developments. 1262 01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:56,400 Yeah. Her job's at stake. 1263 01:03:59,240 --> 01:04:00,753 [mellow music playing] 1264 01:04:06,880 --> 01:04:08,552 You got a special feelin' for her, don't you? 1265 01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:10,558 From the moment I first saw her, 1266 01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:12,471 there was something about Miss Suzie Quince 1267 01:04:12,560 --> 01:04:15,120 that got the hair on the back of my neck standing up. 1268 01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:16,349 [chuckles] 1269 01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:17,715 Nothin' finer. 1270 01:04:18,320 --> 01:04:20,595 In the whole wide world than a good woman. 1271 01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:23,549 I dig the female species... 1272 01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:25,073 Smells sweeter than a honeysuckle. 1273 01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:27,958 Smarter than hell, firm as a biscuit. 1274 01:04:28,320 --> 01:04:29,230 Firm as a biscuit? 1275 01:04:29,520 --> 01:04:32,239 Biscuit, fresh out of the oven. 1276 01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:36,678 Oh, yeah. Butter melting. [chuckles] 1277 01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:39,955 -You see my point. -Ah, yes, indeed. 1278 01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:45,435 The sun, the moon, and the stars, Leo. That's what a good woman is to me. 1279 01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:51,993 J‘ Hark the herald angels sing J‘ J‘ Glory to the newborn king J‘ 1280 01:04:52,560 --> 01:04:59,113 J‘ Peace on Earth and mercy mild J‘ J‘ God and sinners reconciled J‘ 1281 01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:03,470 Go on. 1282 01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:05,430 What goes next? 1283 01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:07,988 [laughter] 1284 01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:08,990 [both] With. 1285 01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:11,279 What is it? With... 1286 01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:13,559 Romantic joy proclaim? 1287 01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:15,515 Proclaim. 1288 01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:19,111 J‘ Christ was born in Bethlehem J‘ 1289 01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:22,717 J‘ Hark! the herald angels sing J‘ 1290 01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:27,670 J‘ Glory to the newborn king J‘ 1291 01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:32,393 You had a rifle and a scope and you missed him? 1292 01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:36,600 [sighs] Oh, Oscar, just stop trying to kill him. 1293 01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,159 Just bring him to me and I'll do it. 1294 01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:40,552 [scoffs, continues indistinctly] 1295 01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:42,990 [sighs] 1296 01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:48,714 Why am I not surprised you're in witness protection 1297 01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:50,068 and somebody's trying to kill you? 1298 01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:52,755 -Yep, that's him. Yeah. -The animal guy, right there. 1299 01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:56,192 Sheep. Camels. Did they have a snake? Probably. 1300 01:05:57,280 --> 01:05:59,316 I thought he looked vaguely familiar. 1301 01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:01,394 Now I recognize him. 1302 01:06:01,960 --> 01:06:05,077 That's Oscar Bruno, one of the mob boss's sons. 1303 01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:07,910 [Suzie] He could have just knocked on your door and shot you. 1304 01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,195 Surveillance cameras. He didn't wanna be ID'd. 1305 01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:12,788 No. He figured he could just come and go with the animals. 1306 01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:17,037 Leo wants to turn me over to the Feds. 1307 01:06:18,240 --> 01:06:19,832 Oh, God! No, please. 1308 01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:23,909 Tell the police, and suddenly the Villa Capri is crawling with cops! 1309 01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:27,112 I mean, can't you just, like, track him down? 1310 01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:28,269 He's a bad guy. Just... 1311 01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:31,633 you know, snuff him out like way off the radar. 1312 01:06:31,720 --> 01:06:34,280 I don't snuff people out, off or on the radar. 1313 01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:36,113 [Suzie quietly] Oh, God. I know. 1314 01:06:36,560 --> 01:06:37,470 [sighs] 1315 01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:40,155 Okay, guys, look, I-- I have a confession. 1316 01:06:41,360 --> 01:06:44,716 The last couple times corporate sent me to fix a problem, 1317 01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:47,758 something crazy happened. Things got worse. 1318 01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:52,998 I'm starting to like this place, but I'm on a short leash here. 1319 01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:55,789 If this gets public, it could cost me myjob. 1320 01:06:57,080 --> 01:06:59,640 Please... Leo... 1321 01:06:59,720 --> 01:07:01,551 And, he shot your damn truck. 1322 01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:04,195 -[Leo] Hmm. -He shot your truck? 1323 01:07:04,640 --> 01:07:08,110 You're both right. We're goin' after this guy. 1324 01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:09,635 Yes! 1325 01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:11,998 [upbeat music playing] 1326 01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:20,799 What the hell is this about? 1327 01:07:20,880 --> 01:07:23,917 He knows my new truck, but he doesn't know this shitty van. 1328 01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:27,795 That's clever. 1329 01:07:28,440 --> 01:07:31,159 I think you and I could become cherished friends, Leo. 1330 01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:32,150 Shutup. 1331 01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:33,589 [music continues] 1332 01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:39,197 [rattling] 1333 01:07:44,960 --> 01:07:47,110 [donkey braying] 1334 01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:06,239 Fit perfect in a golf bag. 1335 01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:07,750 Can I help you guys? 1336 01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:11,035 -Can they get out? -Yep, every now and then. 1337 01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:12,634 You might wanna think about a deeper trough. 1338 01:08:13,240 --> 01:08:15,356 Deeper trough. Yeah, good thinkin'. 1339 01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:17,313 Duke, what brings you out here? 1340 01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:19,989 Were, uh, lookin' for a guy. 1341 01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:23,470 Oscar. Strange fella. 1342 01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:24,630 Where is he now? 1343 01:08:24,720 --> 01:08:25,869 He quit yesterday. 1344 01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:30,309 Said he had found what he was lookin' for and walked out. 1345 01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:31,310 Leave an address? 1346 01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:33,312 He lived in a motel, I think. 1347 01:08:33,880 --> 01:08:36,792 -Motel... -You got any idea which motel? 1348 01:08:37,440 --> 01:08:40,273 -Made it sound like the French Quarter. -French Quarter? 1349 01:08:40,360 --> 01:08:41,315 -Something like that. -Got it. 1350 01:08:47,360 --> 01:08:49,078 Manager says he's still livin' here. 1351 01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:50,710 Unit 15. 1352 01:08:51,040 --> 01:08:53,713 So when he shows up, we jump him, 1353 01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:55,513 we hand him over to the Feds, 1354 01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:57,795 and he goes up the river forever, right? 1355 01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:00,075 -No, no. We don'tjump him. -What do you mean? 1356 01:09:00,320 --> 01:09:01,230 I do. 1357 01:09:03,360 --> 01:09:05,828 -So just relax. -Yeah, okay... 1358 01:09:12,120 --> 01:09:14,076 Sixth grade was traumatic. 1359 01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:16,393 I ran for class president. 1360 01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:18,830 Lost. 1361 01:09:19,480 --> 01:09:23,712 [chuckles] I got one vote... my own. 1362 01:09:23,800 --> 01:09:27,509 In high school, I tried bribing my classmates, but... 1363 01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:29,149 Crushed again. 1364 01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:30,875 Yeah. 1365 01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:33,236 Witness protection turned my life around. 1366 01:09:34,040 --> 01:09:36,554 You got a fresh start on the back nine of life. 1367 01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:38,713 Reinvented myself. 1368 01:09:39,960 --> 01:09:41,916 Was goin' pretty good, if you ask me. 1369 01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,392 You like me a little, yes? 1370 01:09:44,480 --> 01:09:45,879 You need to be liked? 1371 01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:48,710 It may sound pathetic but, [sighs] 1372 01:09:49,760 --> 01:09:51,193 I love to be adored. 1373 01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:52,670 You need therapy. 1374 01:09:53,760 --> 01:09:54,795 Never worked before. 1375 01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:58,512 Not until now with you. 1376 01:09:59,440 --> 01:10:01,237 Good. You're cured. 1377 01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:02,910 [chuckles] 1378 01:10:03,440 --> 01:10:06,671 We should rotate naps in case it turns into an all-nighter. 1379 01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:10,038 Yeah. Well, I'm wide awake if you wanna take the first one. 1380 01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:12,233 I could nod off pretty quick. 1381 01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:13,510 Well... 1382 01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:17,190 Wake me in one hour or if anybody shows up. 1383 01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,195 -Would you like a song to help you sleep? -No. 1384 01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:39,596 J‘ Silent night J‘ 1385 01:10:40,760 --> 01:10:44,833 J‘ Holy night J‘ 1386 01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:46,310 I like that one. 1387 01:10:47,480 --> 01:10:52,235 J‘ A]! is calm J‘ 1388 01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:57,233 J‘ All is bright J‘ 1389 01:10:57,760 --> 01:10:58,590 [snonng] 1390 01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:00,238 [chuckles] 1391 01:11:00,680 --> 01:11:03,433 [breathes deeply] 1392 01:11:06,560 --> 01:11:08,198 [mellow music playing] 1393 01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:33,870 [music continues] 1394 01:12:04,000 --> 01:12:05,194 [music continues] 1395 01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:18,752 -Wake up, Sherlock. -Hm? 1396 01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:20,479 [Leo] You were supposed to wake me up. 1397 01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:22,870 Sorry. 1398 01:12:23,480 --> 01:12:25,391 That song always leaves me out. 1399 01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:31,510 Can I help you? 1400 01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:33,990 Yeah, the guy in room 15, what do you know about him? 1401 01:12:34,440 --> 01:12:36,476 A very nice man. Very polite. 1402 01:12:36,560 --> 01:12:37,470 Bullshit. 1403 01:12:37,760 --> 01:12:40,354 There is one thing. He... loves naked ladies. 1404 01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:43,076 I saw him at last week's Sunday brunch at Rudy's. 1405 01:12:43,400 --> 01:12:44,879 They have a Sunday brunch at a titty bar? 1406 01:12:45,760 --> 01:12:47,512 You gotta try the Belgian waffles there. 1407 01:12:51,320 --> 01:12:54,915 Okay. All right. Go do your business. Go on, Romeo. 1408 01:12:55,120 --> 01:12:57,634 -That's a good boy! Good boy! -[Jimmy] Hey, Suzie? 1409 01:12:58,680 --> 01:12:59,510 Suzie? 1410 01:12:59,600 --> 01:13:01,477 -Yeah? -It's corporate for you. 1411 01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:03,118 It's corporate? 1412 01:13:08,920 --> 01:13:09,909 Suzie Quince. 1413 01:13:11,280 --> 01:13:12,190 Yes! 1414 01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:14,953 No, no, no... 1415 01:13:15,240 --> 01:13:17,231 |-- I'm getting a handle on things. 1416 01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:18,548 A firm grasp. 1417 01:13:18,640 --> 01:13:19,629 [Romeo barking] 1418 01:13:19,720 --> 01:13:21,312 [Swamp Dogg, "Silent Night" playing] 1419 01:13:22,520 --> 01:13:24,431 J‘ Holy night J‘ 1420 01:13:24,920 --> 01:13:27,832 No. I-- there are protocols. I'm following the protocols. 1421 01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:30,275 I'm a-- I'm a walking protocol. 1422 01:13:30,360 --> 01:13:31,588 [barks] 1423 01:13:31,680 --> 01:13:33,557 -[camel grunting] -[sheep bleating] 1424 01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:38,196 But people just seem to be so happy here, 1425 01:13:38,280 --> 01:13:42,558 and happiness is not a condition. It's a choice. 1426 01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:44,870 -[barks] -[camels grunt] 1427 01:13:47,720 --> 01:13:49,995 Things are not out of control at the Villa Capri. 1428 01:13:50,080 --> 01:13:51,195 It is magnificent here. 1429 01:13:51,320 --> 01:13:52,639 [sheep bleating] 1430 01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:53,630 [barking] 1431 01:13:55,480 --> 01:13:57,152 No, no, no! Stop! Come back! 1432 01:13:57,520 --> 01:14:01,069 Terminate me? You can't terminate me! 1433 01:14:01,160 --> 01:14:03,037 Come back with the nativity! 1434 01:14:03,240 --> 01:14:04,673 [man] No, wait! Stop, get back in there! 1435 01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:06,079 [Joey] Larry, get the camel! 1436 01:14:07,520 --> 01:14:08,430 You know what? 1437 01:14:08,920 --> 01:14:10,035 -[cal| disconnects] -He|lo? 1438 01:14:11,120 --> 01:14:12,189 [barking] 1439 01:14:13,160 --> 01:14:14,070 Romeo? 1440 01:14:14,880 --> 01:14:16,108 Oh, Romeo? 1441 01:14:17,160 --> 01:14:19,833 Oh, my God! Romeo. [yelling] Romeo! 1442 01:14:19,920 --> 01:14:23,833 Oh, no, no, no, no! 1443 01:14:23,920 --> 01:14:25,638 -Hey! [shushes] -[muffled] Oh! Oh! 1444 01:14:25,720 --> 01:14:26,869 -I got you! -[struggling] 1445 01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:33,828 You know, this isn't a very efficient plan. 1446 01:14:33,920 --> 01:14:34,830 You shut up! 1447 01:14:35,120 --> 01:14:37,918 You shut up! I'm having a worse day than you are. 1448 01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:42,348 You know, if I were to ever kidnap someone for ransom, 1449 01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:45,398 I would have it more worked out, more organized. 1450 01:14:45,960 --> 01:14:47,393 I mean, there would be some nice kibble, 1451 01:14:47,480 --> 01:14:48,595 and perhaps a chew toy. 1452 01:14:48,680 --> 01:14:49,874 -|'m going to tell you why. -Chew toy? 1453 01:14:49,960 --> 01:14:51,996 Oh God! It's amateur hour around here. 1454 01:14:52,080 --> 01:14:52,990 -We|l, I'm sorry. -[Romeo whimpers] 1455 01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:01,470 All right, all right. Enough about me. 1456 01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:04,838 I'm sure even a tough guy like you 1457 01:15:04,920 --> 01:15:07,480 has some insecurities you'd like to talk about. 1458 01:15:07,560 --> 01:15:08,470 No. 1459 01:15:09,320 --> 01:15:11,788 Come on. You'll feel better. 1460 01:15:11,880 --> 01:15:13,313 Shut up! I feel fine. 1461 01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:18,839 -[Duke] They've got a nice gift shop. -Hey! 1462 01:15:18,920 --> 01:15:19,750 Really sweet. 1463 01:15:19,840 --> 01:15:21,159 [Tony] Hey, there's the big dog! 1464 01:15:21,240 --> 01:15:22,150 -[Duke] Hey. -Hey, what's up? 1465 01:15:22,240 --> 01:15:23,434 -We're lookin' for somebody. -Yeah? 1466 01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:26,830 -Recognize this guy? -Doesn't look familiar, but, uh, you know, 1467 01:15:27,120 --> 01:15:28,997 -a thousand other guys like that-- -[explosion] 1468 01:15:32,640 --> 01:15:34,517 Your animal guy is not very good at blowin' you up, 1469 01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:36,795 but he's gonna keep tryin'. Maybe he'll get it right next time. 1470 01:15:37,280 --> 01:15:39,157 -Hey, hey, hey! -|s that your car? 1471 01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:40,309 -Yeah. -Give me the keys. 1472 01:15:40,400 --> 01:15:41,913 -My new wheels? No! -I need your keys. 1473 01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:43,353 -Who do you think you are? -Give me the keys! 1474 01:15:43,440 --> 01:15:44,589 Shit! 1475 01:15:44,680 --> 01:15:46,511 [upbeat country music playing] 1476 01:15:46,600 --> 01:15:49,433 [tires screech] 1477 01:15:55,320 --> 01:15:57,436 -[laughs] This is thrilling. -Thank you. 1478 01:15:58,400 --> 01:15:59,435 -There he is. -Yep. 1479 01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:02,469 Goddamn, Leo! 1480 01:16:07,320 --> 01:16:09,880 Two old dinosaurs. Like us, huh, Leo? 1481 01:16:12,080 --> 01:16:13,513 -You think that's funny? -Nope. 1482 01:16:21,720 --> 01:16:22,630 Hang on. 1483 01:16:25,920 --> 01:16:27,239 Oh shit! Oh shit! 1484 01:16:32,560 --> 01:16:34,152 I have a confession to make. 1485 01:16:35,160 --> 01:16:38,675 Well, for heaven's sake, man, let 'er rip. 1486 01:16:39,080 --> 01:16:40,638 I came here to buy the Villa Capri. 1487 01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:44,593 I thought you only bought big stuff. 1488 01:16:44,680 --> 01:16:46,477 That property is worth 50 million dollars. 1489 01:16:47,080 --> 01:16:50,516 Fifty... and Suzie's worried about petty cash? 1490 01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:52,318 She's just doin' herjob-- Hang on! 1491 01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:53,310 Oh shit! 1492 01:16:54,280 --> 01:16:55,998 [Leo] First, I was gonna bulldoze the Villa Capri 1493 01:16:56,080 --> 01:16:57,798 and put in a western Mall of America. 1494 01:16:57,880 --> 01:16:59,996 Oh my God! That's sacrilege. 1495 01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:02,799 Don't worry. I changed my mind. I'm startin' to like that place. 1496 01:17:02,880 --> 01:17:04,029 [dramatic music continues] 1497 01:17:11,120 --> 01:17:14,510 So, I mean, if it's worth all that 1498 01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:16,393 and it's partly because of me, 1499 01:17:16,480 --> 01:17:18,072 I think I should get a piece of the pie. 1500 01:17:18,160 --> 01:17:19,070 How much do you want? 1501 01:17:19,400 --> 01:17:21,436 Uh, eh, ten percent? 1502 01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:23,636 Suppose I let you keep your fancy golf cart? 1503 01:17:24,320 --> 01:17:25,594 Wait a minute— They blew that thing up. 1504 01:17:25,680 --> 01:17:27,432 And you're welcome to have a piece of it. 1505 01:17:30,840 --> 01:17:32,956 Looks like Oscar is through playing around. 1506 01:17:40,440 --> 01:17:42,271 -Uh-oh! -[sighs] This looks like a dead end. 1507 01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:44,510 Yeah. Road don't go anywhere. 1508 01:17:44,600 --> 01:17:45,715 Maybe we can box him in. 1509 01:17:46,040 --> 01:17:46,950 Well, it might be a trap. 1510 01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:48,150 So what? 1511 01:17:48,240 --> 01:17:49,434 They're after your ass, not mine. 1512 01:18:10,960 --> 01:18:11,790 [Duke] That's not Oscar. 1513 01:18:11,880 --> 01:18:13,757 Well, let's go see who the hell it is. 1514 01:18:19,840 --> 01:18:21,512 -[Duke] You know what you're doin'? -[Leo] Generally. 1515 01:18:22,080 --> 01:18:23,479 -[Leo] Stop right there! {gunshofl 1516 01:18:24,320 --> 01:18:26,072 No, no, no, no! Don't shoot, don't shoot. 1517 01:18:26,160 --> 01:18:27,070 Who are you? 1518 01:18:27,200 --> 01:18:30,033 Listen, some lunatic gave me $500 to torch your van 1519 01:18:30,680 --> 01:18:31,635 and to lead you down here. 1520 01:18:32,080 --> 01:18:32,990 Here? 1521 01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:34,110 Yeah. 1522 01:18:34,920 --> 01:18:35,830 [phone rings] 1523 01:18:37,160 --> 01:18:38,388 Answer the phone. 1524 01:18:42,120 --> 01:18:43,030 Hello? 1525 01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:46,710 It's for you. 1526 01:18:51,760 --> 01:18:52,670 Leo McKay. 1527 01:18:53,040 --> 01:18:53,916 [Oscar] Look up. 1528 01:19:03,520 --> 01:19:04,509 You’re lookin' for me? 1529 01:19:05,240 --> 01:19:06,150 What do you want? 1530 01:19:07,320 --> 01:19:08,230 [Oscar] I got your girl. 1531 01:19:08,840 --> 01:19:10,193 I wanna trade her for Duke. 1532 01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:11,994 -That'll work. -W hat? 1533 01:19:12,960 --> 01:19:14,598 No, Leo. He'll shoot me in the head. 1534 01:19:14,840 --> 01:19:15,909 Yeah, well, there is that. 1535 01:19:16,360 --> 01:19:17,509 What do you want us to do? 1536 01:19:17,840 --> 01:19:20,877 I want you to sit tight and I'll send you coordinates of where we'll meet up. 1537 01:19:22,120 --> 01:19:23,030 Leo? 1538 01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:27,878 You're not really gonna trade me for her, are you? 1539 01:19:27,960 --> 01:19:30,428 She's a lot prettier and I'd really like to make the trade, 1540 01:19:30,520 --> 01:19:33,637 but my essential sense of human dignity and decency 1541 01:19:33,720 --> 01:19:34,630 will not permit it. 1542 01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:37,158 However, we need him to think I will. 1543 01:19:37,480 --> 01:19:41,519 Aw, [sighs] I sure am glad you're you. 1544 01:19:41,600 --> 01:19:42,919 [chuckles] 1545 01:19:46,800 --> 01:19:50,679 -[man] Hey, can I put my hands down now? -[Leo] Shut up. 1546 01:19:59,320 --> 01:20:00,753 [phone rings] 1547 01:20:01,400 --> 01:20:02,196 Where? 1548 01:20:02,280 --> 01:20:04,475 Utah Trail toward 29 Palms. 1549 01:20:05,040 --> 01:20:06,678 Turn off at the old water tower. 1550 01:20:06,760 --> 01:20:07,670 You know where that is? 1551 01:20:07,760 --> 01:20:08,590 Not a clue. 1552 01:20:08,680 --> 01:20:10,238 How the hell are we supposed to find that? 1553 01:20:10,600 --> 01:20:11,510 Waze. 1554 01:20:12,840 --> 01:20:13,750 God! 1555 01:20:14,720 --> 01:20:15,630 What the hell is that? 1556 01:20:16,080 --> 01:20:17,513 It's an app. You can download it. 1557 01:20:18,080 --> 01:20:18,990 Really? 1558 01:20:21,920 --> 01:20:23,876 [automated Waze voice] Let's get started. Drive safe. 1559 01:20:25,480 --> 01:20:27,038 I have another confession to make. 1560 01:20:27,800 --> 01:20:28,676 Let 'er rip. 1561 01:20:29,520 --> 01:20:31,351 I was married for 33 years... 1562 01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:34,230 to the first woman I ever fell for. 1563 01:20:34,960 --> 01:20:36,598 She died about six years ago, 1564 01:20:36,680 --> 01:20:37,999 and it put me off my game. 1565 01:20:38,080 --> 01:20:40,992 After three or four years, I felt I should see other women, 1566 01:20:41,080 --> 01:20:42,354 but it didn't feel right. 1567 01:20:44,240 --> 01:20:45,673 You wanna tell Duke about it? 1568 01:20:45,760 --> 01:20:50,276 There's something about Miss Quince that just shook me out of my malaise. 1569 01:20:50,360 --> 01:20:52,351 She's gorgeous, of course, but she's-- 1570 01:20:52,680 --> 01:20:53,954 There's nothin' frivolous about her. 1571 01:20:54,040 --> 01:20:57,077 She's a woman of... substance and gravitas. 1572 01:20:57,800 --> 01:20:58,710 Gravitas. 1573 01:20:58,800 --> 01:20:59,915 [chuckles] 1574 01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:03,355 Put me down, you jackass! 1575 01:21:03,720 --> 01:21:05,995 Where's my dog? [yelling] Romeo! 1576 01:21:06,400 --> 01:21:07,674 Where's my dog? 1577 01:21:08,200 --> 01:21:10,555 Now doesn't all this sharing make you feel better, huh? 1578 01:21:10,960 --> 01:21:12,837 I could fall in love with her. 1579 01:21:12,920 --> 01:21:13,989 [clicks tongue] 1580 01:21:14,080 --> 01:21:15,638 [upbeat music playing] 1581 01:21:18,120 --> 01:21:21,192 [automated Waze voice] In 0.1 mile keep left. 1582 01:21:40,400 --> 01:21:42,356 You know, you're always the hero. 1583 01:21:43,200 --> 01:21:46,158 I think I'd like to be heroic sometime. 1584 01:21:52,480 --> 01:21:54,072 How heroic do you wanna be? 1585 01:21:55,040 --> 01:21:55,950 Hm? 1586 01:21:56,680 --> 01:21:57,590 Um... 1587 01:21:58,760 --> 01:21:59,670 Well... 1588 01:21:59,800 --> 01:22:01,836 Uh, you know, just... [chuckles] 1589 01:22:02,800 --> 01:22:04,438 Moderately. Just enough. 1590 01:22:05,080 --> 01:22:06,832 You wanna keep your braggin' rights to the women. 1591 01:22:06,920 --> 01:22:08,114 [chuckles] 1592 01:22:08,440 --> 01:22:10,158 You know me well. Yeah, huh? 1593 01:22:14,000 --> 01:22:16,753 You think that's an honorable reason to wanna be heroic? 1594 01:22:16,840 --> 01:22:17,750 I do. 1595 01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:23,876 [whispers] I got a plan. 1596 01:22:24,240 --> 01:22:27,676 You know, you remind me of my mother. 1597 01:22:27,760 --> 01:22:32,595 -[chuckles] That's so sweet. -[Oscar] Yeah. All right. 1598 01:22:34,240 --> 01:22:35,150 All right. 1599 01:22:35,840 --> 01:22:37,398 [suspenseful music playing] 1600 01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:52,148 This is where it begins. 1601 01:23:05,200 --> 01:23:06,553 [Leo yelling] You all right in there, Suzie? 1602 01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:09,992 -[Suzie] Leo, I'm okay. -I am not armed. 1603 01:23:10,480 --> 01:23:12,596 I am here to give you what you want. 1604 01:23:13,800 --> 01:23:15,028 And to take what I want. 1605 01:23:15,120 --> 01:23:16,439 [Oscar] Hey, stand right there! 1606 01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:18,675 What you got under that hat? 1607 01:23:19,360 --> 01:23:20,349 A little hair. 1608 01:23:20,440 --> 01:23:23,477 [Oscar] Ha! You send me Willy. 1609 01:23:28,200 --> 01:23:30,395 [Leo] We can work this out to everybody's satisfaction. 1610 01:23:30,760 --> 01:23:33,149 Why don't you put the gun down and we'll talk. 1611 01:23:33,480 --> 01:23:34,879 [music continues] 1612 01:23:42,400 --> 01:23:43,628 [gunshots] 1613 01:23:46,400 --> 01:23:47,469 Give me Duke! 1614 01:23:48,400 --> 01:23:52,029 Damn! You shot my truck and now you're tryin' to shoot my boots! 1615 01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:56,636 You give me Duke or Willy or whatever he calls himself. Now! 1616 01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:58,955 [Leo] You can have him. I never liked him anyway. 1617 01:24:05,560 --> 01:24:06,436 [gun clicks] 1618 01:24:08,600 --> 01:24:09,510 Oh. 1619 01:24:10,080 --> 01:24:10,990 Ha! 1620 01:24:15,120 --> 01:24:16,030 [Suzie gasps] 1621 01:24:16,560 --> 01:24:17,709 [Oscar] Oh! That hurts! 1622 01:24:18,160 --> 01:24:20,754 He shot me! [groans] 1623 01:24:22,000 --> 01:24:22,989 [light-hearted music playing] 1624 01:24:24,640 --> 01:24:26,471 -[Oscar grunts] -Bye-bye. 1625 01:24:30,480 --> 01:24:32,630 Christmases seem to blur together. 1626 01:24:33,000 --> 01:24:34,877 You know? This one stands out. 1627 01:24:35,120 --> 01:24:36,314 It's startin' to feel special. 1628 01:24:36,400 --> 01:24:37,913 [Romeo growls] 1629 01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:39,638 [Leo] We're gonna have to call the sheriff now. 1630 01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:43,036 [Suzie] I don't know about you guys, but I sure could use a cocktail. 1631 01:24:43,120 --> 01:24:43,950 Here, here. 1632 01:24:44,040 --> 01:24:45,155 [music continues] 1633 01:24:55,480 --> 01:24:58,756 I'm starting to understand the affection you have for this place, 1634 01:24:59,120 --> 01:25:00,109 whoever you are. 1635 01:25:00,840 --> 01:25:03,195 To you, Sweet Willy. 1636 01:25:03,600 --> 01:25:05,955 You did a brave thing today. I didn't think you had it in you. 1637 01:25:06,040 --> 01:25:08,679 -And you saved the day, cousin. -I ain't your cousin. 1638 01:25:08,760 --> 01:25:10,591 Well, but you like me a little, huh? 1639 01:25:13,520 --> 01:25:15,351 -A little. -[Iaughs] 1640 01:25:16,680 --> 01:25:17,635 There goes Rudolph. 1641 01:25:18,320 --> 01:25:22,518 -[Leo] And there goes Snoopy. -[growls, barks] 1642 01:25:22,600 --> 01:25:23,589 Adios, Snoopy. 1643 01:25:26,760 --> 01:25:30,275 [overlapping chatter] 1644 01:25:30,360 --> 01:25:33,193 Hey! It's New Year's in New York. Happy New Year, everybody! 1645 01:25:33,280 --> 01:25:34,633 Earlier to bed? 1646 01:25:35,080 --> 01:25:38,197 Uh, with any luck, maybe two balls will drop tonight. 1647 01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:40,796 -[Iaughter] -Girl, you are delusional. 1648 01:25:40,880 --> 01:25:43,952 Hey, I've never seen you guys lookin' so sharp. 1649 01:25:44,040 --> 01:25:47,953 -Or you so beautiful. -To the ladies and ladies. 1650 01:25:50,560 --> 01:25:55,111 Arturo, Miss Quince, I think you know my cronies and their lovely ladies. 1651 01:25:55,200 --> 01:25:57,395 -Of course I do. Happy New Year. -Happy New Year. 1652 01:25:57,480 --> 01:25:59,152 [all] Happy New Year. 1653 01:25:59,240 --> 01:26:00,116 [Larry] Happy New Year! 1654 01:26:00,200 --> 01:26:02,509 I think it's about midnight in Times Square. 1655 01:26:02,600 --> 01:26:03,510 [Larry] Oh, yeah! 1656 01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:04,989 [toots horn] 1657 01:26:05,560 --> 01:26:07,630 Nine o'clock in California is good enough for me. 1658 01:26:09,080 --> 01:26:11,878 At the end of the day, I have to admit, I have a soft spot for Duke. 1659 01:26:11,960 --> 01:26:14,315 Wherever they're relocating him, do you think he's going to be okay? 1660 01:26:14,400 --> 01:26:18,439 My dear, the Duke will always be okay. 1661 01:26:18,520 --> 01:26:19,350 [Suzie] Yeah. 1662 01:26:19,440 --> 01:26:20,555 Strike up the band, boys. 1663 01:26:21,960 --> 01:26:25,350 J‘ May old acquaintance be forgot J‘ 1664 01:26:25,600 --> 01:26:26,874 [announcer] Ladies and gentlemen of the 1665 01:26:26,960 --> 01:26:29,190 Tropical Resort Retirement Community, 1666 01:26:29,600 --> 01:26:31,750 say hello to your new resident manager, 1667 01:26:32,520 --> 01:26:34,238 Mr. Marvel Bigelow. 1668 01:26:34,320 --> 01:26:35,389 Music! 1669 01:26:35,480 --> 01:26:37,198 [cheenng] 1670 01:26:37,280 --> 01:26:38,554 [calypso music playing] 1671 01:27:13,840 --> 01:27:14,750 [song ends] 1672 01:27:15,080 --> 01:27:16,399 [Susan Werner, "Don't Forget to Remember Christmas" playing] 1673 01:27:19,200 --> 01:27:23,478 J‘ Christmas J‘ 1674 01:27:24,680 --> 01:27:29,435 J‘ Is a very special time of the year J‘ 1675 01:27:31,240 --> 01:27:35,791 J‘ It's a precious time J‘ J‘ And I'm waiting here J‘ 1676 01:27:36,800 --> 01:27:42,113 J‘ Can 't wait to get close to you J‘ 1677 01:27:46,320 --> 01:27:50,074 J‘ Christmas J‘ 1678 01:27:51,240 --> 01:27:57,110 J‘ Is a house adorned J‘ J‘ With tinsel and lights J‘ 1679 01:27:58,160 --> 01:28:02,756 J‘ It's a cozy fire and long quiet night J‘ 1680 01:28:03,720 --> 01:28:09,158 J‘ That let me get close to you J‘ 1681 01:28:12,560 --> 01:28:16,599 J‘ No one else, dear, will do J‘ 1682 01:28:17,080 --> 01:28:20,117 J‘ Darling you, only you J‘ 1683 01:28:20,200 --> 01:28:25,115 J‘ Make my holiday list J‘ 1684 01:28:26,240 --> 01:28:29,949 J‘ I can't wait till we've kissed J‘ 1685 01:28:30,040 --> 01:28:32,952 J‘ And then everything that follows J‘ 1686 01:28:33,040 --> 01:28:36,271 J‘ Makes my year every December J‘ 1687 01:28:36,360 --> 01:28:40,717 J‘ Don 't forget to remember J‘ 1688 01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:44,429 J‘ That Christmas J‘ 1689 01:28:45,520 --> 01:28:50,548 J‘ ls two lovers strolling home J‘ J‘ In the snow J‘ 1690 01:28:51,760 --> 01:28:56,276 J‘ And then warming up J‘ J‘ The best way they know J‘ 1691 01:28:57,680 --> 01:29:04,677 J‘ Oh, let me get close to you J‘ 1692 01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:10,395 J‘ ’Cause you’re all I want for Christmas J‘ 1693 01:29:12,280 --> 01:29:17,832 J‘ And Christmas is here J‘ 1694 01:29:20,880 --> 01:29:22,074 [song ends] 1695 01:29:23,840 --> 01:29:25,637 ["Deck The Halls" playing] 1696 01:30:19,760 --> 01:30:20,636 [song ends] 1697 01:30:20,720 --> 01:30:22,073 [mellow music playing] 1698 01:30:40,400 --> 01:30:41,310 [music ends]