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00:00:00,023 --> 00:00:01,609
Previously, on "Brockmire."

2
00:00:01,651 --> 00:00:04,047
Ten years ago, your
breakdown in the booth

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00:00:04,260 --> 00:00:07,586
and press conference were
like the original viral videos.

4
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Who am I broadcasting to?

5
00:00:08,870 --> 00:00:10,354
You'll be doing exclusive play-by-play

6
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:11,208
to the stadium.

7
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I'm the P.A. announcer?

8
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Here comes the pitch...

9
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Well, that was nothin'
if not predictable.

10
00:00:15,534 --> 00:00:17,886
You're starting to look good to
me, and you're a goddamn disaster.

11
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A surprise finger in the keister!

12
00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:22,296
And Brockmire is into it.

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You think I'm ever gonna
be remembered for anything

14
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except for the worst moments of my life?

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You're "Brutal Brockmire"
till the day you die.

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"Fun fact, Butterman is"...
That's not a fun fact.

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Jenny, we got to watch these cards.

18
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Sip.

19
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Yeah?

20
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,300
We need to talk.

21
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Um, all right.

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Let's, uh, take a quick break.

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Give us the room, please, ladies.

24
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No, I don't want one.

25
00:00:55,081 --> 00:00:57,582
Uh, if we're about to have the
conversation I think we are,

26
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you're gonna want one.

27
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So, you've seen the pictures?

28
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I have not.

29
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Look, they're blowing
it out of proportion.

30
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It was just a Halloween costume.

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Six years broadcasting
with you in this booth

32
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and they want to kick me to the curb

33
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over some goofy pictures?

34
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"Goofy pictures"?

35
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You're in goddamn lingerie

36
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kissing a woman dressed as a man.

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Robbie, that's Kansas City out there,

38
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not "Caba-goddamn-ret."

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So, you have seen them?

40
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Well, of course I've seen
them. Everybody's seen them.

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And why'd you have to be so
goddamn attractive in them,

42
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especially after 9/11?

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What's 9/11 have to do with anything?

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9/11 has to do with everything.
People are still fragile.

45
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They can't handle the confusing feelings

46
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brought on by the combination
of your delicate features

47
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and muscular build.

48
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I know I couldn't.

49
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Look, I'm swallowing my pride,

50
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and I'm asking you for help.

51
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Because... frankly,

52
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you have an insane amount of power.

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And with one word, you can save me.

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Come on, Jim.

55
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A broadcast team is still a team.

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Look, Robbie, you're
too late, all right?

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It's already been done.

58
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Who's my replacement?

59
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Well you're looking at him.

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Robbie, they offered me a one-man booth.

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I mean, can you believe it?

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I mean, Red Barber, Vince Scully,

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and now Jim Brockmire.

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I just... I can't get over it.

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Look, friend, this'll
all blow over soon.

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You'll be fine.

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Few years from now, they're
gonna invite you back

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for Old Timers Day.

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It'll be like none
of this ever happened.

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Look, I-I just... I want to
thank you for everything...

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Vince Scully is a legend.

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You're a deep voice in a cheap suit.

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People will learn that eventually.

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The real you is too
ugly to hide forever.

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Now, just relax.

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The break between a double header
is the best time in baseball.

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It's that perfect blend of postgame high

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and pregame jitters.

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It's known as the
broadcaster's speed ball.

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Okay, the only thing dumber

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than playing two
boring-ass baseball games

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in one day is putting a two-hour delay

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in between the boring-ass games.

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You just have to use the time

85
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to contemplate the more
important things in life,

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like rye whisky, for example.

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This is the first American...
Hey, pay attention.

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... first American booze
made by the colonists

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when rum started to become scarce.

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Rye whisky has a quiet dignity about it.

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Please, stop. Stop it.

92
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I watch you get drunk all day every day.

93
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Yeah, I just can't bear
to hear you describe it.

94
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Can we maybe try to have a conversation?

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Okay.

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Um, well, do you have
any questions for me?

97
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No. I already know everything about you.

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You've literally never asked
me a question about myself.

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Oh, come on. That's not true.

100
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Just yesterday I asked you...

101
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I asked you if my breath
still smelled like vomit.

102
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All right, no, point taken. Point taken.

103
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_

104
00:04:02,671 --> 00:04:06,120
_

105
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_

106
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_

107
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Hey.

108
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Make sure and translate
what I'm about to say.

109
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- It's important.
- For the last time,

110
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I am not his translator.

111
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I am a reporter... hm...
Assigned to cover him.

112
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Whatever, man. Just
help me out here, okay?

113
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- Fine, fine, fine.
- Hey, yo, listen up!

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Hey, since we got to kill sometime today

115
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before the second game
of the double header,

116
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I thought we should do
our first kangaroo court

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of the year, baby.

118
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This is for the new guys.
This is how the Frackers do it.

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You accuse someone of an offense.

120
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They argue their case, and then we vote.

121
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Hey. You getting all this?

122
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Uh, yes, yes. Hey, Yoshi.

123
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_

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- Ah?
- "Ah."

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Exactly.

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If they are guilty, they
pay the fine into the kitty.

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Now, remember, the kitty is for the beer

128
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and the porn website
passwords we share, so pay up!

129
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Pay up!

130
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Hey, who wants to start?

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- Me! Me!
- Right here! Right here!

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Hey, hey!

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Elton missed a bunt sign last week.

134
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- Ooh!
- A-At Slippery Rock?

135
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I thought Coach gave me the swing away.

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Hey, what says the room?

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Guilty!

138
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Hey! I'd like to accuse Elton again.

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What's the offense?

140
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Just, like, being a whiny little bitch.

141
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What are you guys even talking about?!

142
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Guilty!

143
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- Guilty!
- I have someone.

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I accuse el hijo de la porra, "Ooshi."

145
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"Unchi da."

146
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"It's Yoshi."

147
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"Unchi."

148
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- Ooh.
- Oh.

149
00:05:57,669 --> 00:05:58,901
Oh!

150
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- I know what I always meant to ask you.
- Okay.

151
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Why do you work for a baseball team

152
00:06:03,508 --> 00:06:07,276
when you are so defiantly
ignorant about the game?

153
00:06:07,312 --> 00:06:09,879
This team is the only thing
that makes our town special.

154
00:06:09,914 --> 00:06:12,415
I plan on getting some experience here,

155
00:06:12,450 --> 00:06:16,752
then moving to New York
to finally start my life.

156
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Sounds like a decent plan for you.

157
00:06:18,656 --> 00:06:20,056
You'd probably do pretty well in Chelsea

158
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if you just bulk up a little bit.

159
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You know, 'cause right now
you got the delicate frame

160
00:06:23,895 --> 00:06:26,662
of a twink, but you don't
quite have the temperament.

161
00:06:28,366 --> 00:06:29,982
Um...

162
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What?

163
00:06:33,171 --> 00:06:35,304
I say you have the
delicate frame of a twink...

164
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No, I-I heard you.

165
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I just...

166
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I'm not gay, Brockmire.

167
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And why would you think that I am?

168
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'Cause I never seen you with a girl,

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00:06:48,853 --> 00:06:50,486
you're uncomfortable in your own skin,

170
00:06:50,521 --> 00:06:52,855
and you tend to hug the
walls when you're in public.

171
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:55,858
See, what you just described
is a socially awkward nerd.

172
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That's who I am.

173
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I panic around girls and crowds

174
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and people I don't know.

175
00:07:03,868 --> 00:07:05,501
All right, but I also used your computer

176
00:07:05,536 --> 00:07:07,536
to look up some naked
photos of Ann-Margret...

177
00:07:07,572 --> 00:07:09,205
- Okay, wow!
- ... and I discovered

178
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,974
what you called your
"inspiration" folder,

179
00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:13,776
which is really just a bunch of pictures

180
00:07:13,811 --> 00:07:16,946
of handsome men in
various states of dress.

181
00:07:16,981 --> 00:07:23,319
What you found was my
fashion inspiration folder.

182
00:07:23,354 --> 00:07:24,754
Okay, did you wonder

183
00:07:24,789 --> 00:07:28,991
why 90% of those photos
were just of shoes?

184
00:07:29,027 --> 00:07:31,694
I just figured that was some
kind of a gay black thing.

185
00:07:33,064 --> 00:07:35,031
I need your language skills.

186
00:07:35,066 --> 00:07:36,465
Locker room is about to explode.

187
00:07:36,501 --> 00:07:38,634
I mean, they were speaking
Japanese and Spanish so fast

188
00:07:38,670 --> 00:07:40,036
I could barely understand
what they were saying.

189
00:07:40,071 --> 00:07:41,937
I've seen my fair share
of kangaroo courts,

190
00:07:41,973 --> 00:07:43,272
but I've never seen anything like this.

191
00:07:43,307 --> 00:07:44,540
It's all gonna be fine.

192
00:07:44,575 --> 00:07:46,609
It's just the locker room's
way of cleansing itself.

193
00:07:46,644 --> 00:07:48,511
It all gets worked out...

194
00:07:52,083 --> 00:07:53,015
Yep.

195
00:08:01,269 --> 00:08:03,769
Whoa! Whoa!

196
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,204
Please, just tranquillo, all right?

197
00:08:06,275 --> 00:08:08,909
And you guys, uh...

198
00:08:08,945 --> 00:08:11,278
Nobody do anything.

199
00:08:11,314 --> 00:08:13,147
All right, so, here's the deal.

200
00:08:13,182 --> 00:08:16,550
Um, the Latin players
all have Uribe's back,

201
00:08:16,586 --> 00:08:18,552
but the pitchers all support Yoshi.

202
00:08:18,588 --> 00:08:20,187
All right, but this is
okay. This is just...

203
00:08:20,223 --> 00:08:21,989
This is the way the locker
room cleanses itself.

204
00:08:22,024 --> 00:08:22,990
Oh, no, no, no.

205
00:08:23,025 --> 00:08:24,358
No matter how this thing shakes out,

206
00:08:24,393 --> 00:08:26,894
one half of this locker room is
not gonna play with the other,

207
00:08:26,929 --> 00:08:29,530
so, no, this is a doozy of
a pickle of a shit storm.

208
00:08:29,565 --> 00:08:31,365
Anyhoos, best of luck to you.

209
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:32,766
Wait a minute.

210
00:08:32,802 --> 00:08:35,002
For some reason, our attendance
is back in the crapper.

211
00:08:35,037 --> 00:08:37,238
We can't alienate the
rest of the fans we have

212
00:08:37,273 --> 00:08:38,205
by canceling the second game.

213
00:08:38,241 --> 00:08:39,306
You have to fix this.

214
00:08:39,342 --> 00:08:41,008
I do? Me? Why me?

215
00:08:41,043 --> 00:08:42,843
I-I'm the P.A. announcer.

216
00:08:42,879 --> 00:08:45,980
'Cause nobody else in town speaks both
Spanish and Japanese, and you know,

217
00:08:46,015 --> 00:08:47,982
Yoshi's translator's
gotten really uppity lately.

218
00:08:48,017 --> 00:08:50,484
You know, I know I could
help, but why would I?

219
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,887
Hey, that... No, that's
your team, not mine.

220
00:08:52,922 --> 00:08:54,922
You have something better to do?

221
00:08:54,957 --> 00:08:55,632
I do, actually.

222
00:08:55,664 --> 00:08:57,355
- I was "pontifidrinking"... Right now?
- You have somewhere to be?

223
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,693
- Okay, how about you help me...
- which is a portmanteau of "pontificating"

224
00:08:59,729 --> 00:09:01,729
... because last night
when you knocked on my door

225
00:09:01,764 --> 00:09:03,564
at 3:00 in the morning high on speed

226
00:09:03,599 --> 00:09:04,798
begging me to be your girlfriend...

227
00:09:04,834 --> 00:09:06,500
Whoa, whoa, hey.

228
00:09:06,536 --> 00:09:09,303
Just because I don't want
to wear a condom anymore

229
00:09:09,338 --> 00:09:11,272
does not make me your boyfriend.

230
00:09:11,307 --> 00:09:13,641
There was an implicit agreement
that you would give back

231
00:09:13,676 --> 00:09:15,576
- as much as I'm giving.
- What are you talking about?

232
00:09:15,611 --> 00:09:17,444
I've been going down
on you so much lately

233
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,380
I put your pussy down
as my forwarding address.

234
00:09:19,415 --> 00:09:21,048
I'm not talking about
giving back sexually,

235
00:09:21,083 --> 00:09:23,217
because that should just stay
the same or increase if possible.

236
00:09:23,252 --> 00:09:25,519
I'm talking about a favor.

237
00:09:25,555 --> 00:09:28,155
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

238
00:09:29,759 --> 00:09:31,525
I'm gonna bring Jim in.

239
00:09:31,561 --> 00:09:33,527
He's gonna help us figure this out. Jim?

240
00:09:35,332 --> 00:09:37,064
All right, look...

241
00:09:37,099 --> 00:09:38,265
We all want justice here.

242
00:09:38,301 --> 00:09:41,368
Justice will be if the
richest guy on the team

243
00:09:41,404 --> 00:09:43,571
pays a $100 fine.

244
00:09:43,606 --> 00:09:45,339
[Players shouting indistinctly

245
00:09:49,145 --> 00:09:50,611
"If you're looking to blame somebody"

246
00:09:50,646 --> 00:09:52,246
for your injuries, perhaps
you should not stand

247
00:09:52,281 --> 00:09:53,714
"so close on top of the plate."

248
00:09:55,451 --> 00:09:56,884
"You penis biter."

249
00:09:59,288 --> 00:10:00,187
Whoa!

250
00:10:00,222 --> 00:10:01,622
Guys.

251
00:10:01,657 --> 00:10:02,990
Look, it's obvious that some kind

252
00:10:03,025 --> 00:10:06,126
of a bush-league kangaroo
court is not gonna settle this.

253
00:10:06,162 --> 00:10:09,296
So, instead we're gonna do a
Major League kangaroo court.

254
00:10:09,332 --> 00:10:11,165
That's actually not
a bad idea. All right.

255
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,867
Major League kangaroo court...
So, that means evidence,

256
00:10:13,903 --> 00:10:15,669
witnesses, the whole shebang.

257
00:10:15,705 --> 00:10:18,639
Now, Uribe's gonna be
the prosecutor, all right?

258
00:10:18,674 --> 00:10:21,475
I will be the defense attorney.

259
00:10:21,510 --> 00:10:23,844
Now, we need a judge...
Somebody who is impartial

260
00:10:23,879 --> 00:10:26,347
who's not caught up in
all of this baseball drama.

261
00:10:26,382 --> 00:10:28,248
Yo, Drake and Taylor Swift are dating!

262
00:10:28,284 --> 00:10:29,817
Albums, y'all!

263
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,453
What's going on?

264
00:10:34,149 --> 00:10:37,281
What is this trial even about, though?

265
00:10:37,344 --> 00:10:39,730
Uribe wanted Yoshi to throw a pitch

266
00:10:39,801 --> 00:10:42,098
and hit a batter on the other team.

267
00:10:42,332 --> 00:10:43,816
Oh.

268
00:10:43,918 --> 00:10:46,802
Well, that's easy. Uribe's guilty.

269
00:10:46,837 --> 00:10:48,103
- Mnh, no.
- No.

270
00:10:48,138 --> 00:10:50,544
That's a... That's a
standard baseball request.

271
00:10:50,591 --> 00:10:52,708
Yoshi's on trial 'cause he didn't do it.

272
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,507
Baseball is a up sport,
and I want you to know it.

273
00:10:58,543 --> 00:10:59,842
Hey.

274
00:10:59,877 --> 00:11:01,844
Every...

275
00:11:01,879 --> 00:11:03,846
Everyone.

276
00:11:03,881 --> 00:11:06,482
Um, uh, Mr. Uribe,

277
00:11:06,517 --> 00:11:09,218
do you have any
evidence you'd like to...

278
00:11:10,688 --> 00:11:12,822
Oh, sí.

279
00:11:19,630 --> 00:11:21,964
- Oh!
- Ooh.

280
00:11:23,768 --> 00:11:26,035
Oh, damn.

281
00:11:26,070 --> 00:11:27,369
Okay.

282
00:11:27,405 --> 00:11:28,671
Okay.

283
00:11:28,706 --> 00:11:32,174
"Rawlings" is spelled out
backwards inside the bruise.

284
00:11:32,210 --> 00:11:33,909
Yep, that's a baseball right there.

285
00:11:33,945 --> 00:11:35,010
That's horrifying.

286
00:11:35,046 --> 00:11:37,653
Sí. Verdad.

287
00:11:37,755 --> 00:11:41,484
I call my witness...

288
00:11:41,519 --> 00:11:44,687
Ryan Stanton.

289
00:11:44,722 --> 00:11:46,522
Mr. Stanton,

290
00:11:46,557 --> 00:11:47,990
What did I tell you

291
00:11:48,025 --> 00:11:50,593
after ratreria's pitch hit Uribe?

292
00:11:50,628 --> 00:11:52,604
You told me to tell Yoshi to hurt him...

293
00:11:52,729 --> 00:11:54,479
Then some Dominican gibberish.

294
00:11:54,557 --> 00:11:56,665
- But you understood what I meant.
- Yeah.

295
00:11:56,701 --> 00:11:58,033
You wanted payback.

296
00:11:58,069 --> 00:11:59,535
Exactamente!

297
00:11:59,570 --> 00:12:00,922
Payback...

298
00:12:00,977 --> 00:12:03,439
So, did you give him my message?

299
00:12:03,474 --> 00:12:06,375
I made sure it was told.

300
00:12:09,431 --> 00:12:10,964
No more preguntas.

301
00:12:13,217 --> 00:12:14,150
Yoshi...

302
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:15,201
_

303
00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:17,716
_

304
00:12:18,147 --> 00:12:20,045
_

305
00:12:20,537 --> 00:12:21,537
_

306
00:12:21,912 --> 00:12:22,912
_

307
00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:26,295
_

308
00:12:27,565 --> 00:12:28,831
All right.

309
00:12:28,866 --> 00:12:30,990
Um, Mr. Stanton...

310
00:12:31,068 --> 00:12:33,869
so you... you didn't
tell Yoshi yourself?

311
00:12:33,905 --> 00:12:36,438
I told Coach Pompom
to give him the word,

312
00:12:36,474 --> 00:12:38,874
then I watched Coach Pompom
go over there and tell him.

313
00:12:38,910 --> 00:12:40,709
You watched him, but did
you hear what he said?

314
00:12:40,745 --> 00:12:42,063
No.

315
00:12:42,118 --> 00:12:45,347
Okay, so your testimony is that
you don't really know anything.

316
00:12:45,383 --> 00:12:46,348
I assumed...

317
00:12:46,384 --> 00:12:47,850
Whoa, knowledge and assumptions,

318
00:12:47,885 --> 00:12:49,552
those are like Loggins and Messina.

319
00:12:49,587 --> 00:12:51,253
They seem similar, but time proves

320
00:12:51,289 --> 00:12:53,128
one of them to be completely worthless.

321
00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:54,351
Gentlemen, a moment.

322
00:12:54,384 --> 00:12:55,855
Probably just a misunderstanding.

323
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:58,060
Yeah, Pompom must've called an audible

324
00:12:58,095 --> 00:13:00,062
and he didn't tell Yoshi
to throw at anybody.

325
00:13:00,097 --> 00:13:01,764
We just got to get Pompom to testify,

326
00:13:01,799 --> 00:13:03,165
and, boom, everybody's happy.

327
00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:05,775
Yeah, the only problem
is Pompom ran out of here,

328
00:13:05,803 --> 00:13:06,819
and I have no idea where he is.

329
00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:08,804
Well, knowing Pompom, he's probably

330
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,506
out doing something weirder than shit.

331
00:13:10,541 --> 00:13:12,074
All right, I'm gonna go try to find

332
00:13:12,109 --> 00:13:13,876
whatever rock he crawled under.

333
00:13:13,911 --> 00:13:15,010
Can you stall?

334
00:13:15,046 --> 00:13:16,846
Some would argue that's
what I do for a living.

335
00:13:20,685 --> 00:13:23,219
You guys seen Pompom? Anybody?

336
00:13:23,254 --> 00:13:24,920
Guys? Have you seen Pompom?

337
00:13:24,956 --> 00:13:27,089
Julia James... How's my favorite owner?

338
00:13:27,124 --> 00:13:29,124
Uh, not great, Gary. Not great.

339
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,860
Attendance was really light today,

340
00:13:30,895 --> 00:13:32,161
and now I see why.

341
00:13:32,196 --> 00:13:34,063
Can't compete with free money.

342
00:13:34,098 --> 00:13:36,232
Yeah, we're just doing
a little positive P.R.

343
00:13:36,267 --> 00:13:37,466
for Pennsylvania Shale.

344
00:13:37,501 --> 00:13:38,868
We got to coordinate on
this kind of thing, though,

345
00:13:38,903 --> 00:13:41,303
'cause weekend ticket sales make my nut.

346
00:13:41,339 --> 00:13:42,404
Oh, sorry about that.

347
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:43,839
This one came up kind of fast, you know?

348
00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:45,741
Two or three puppies
were born without legs,

349
00:13:45,776 --> 00:13:47,343
and everybody plays the blame game.

350
00:13:47,378 --> 00:13:50,212
That's really my job at Pennsylvania
Shale, you know, to put out fires.

351
00:13:50,248 --> 00:13:52,781
Oh, you guys gonna finally put
out that fire on Euclid Avenue?

352
00:13:52,817 --> 00:13:55,651
Metaphorical fires...
The literal fire on Euclid

353
00:13:55,686 --> 00:13:58,534
will be burning long after
we've left this earth.

354
00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:00,856
What the shit?

355
00:14:00,892 --> 00:14:02,091
There's one of these events scheduled

356
00:14:02,126 --> 00:14:03,425
for every Frackers home game.

357
00:14:03,461 --> 00:14:04,526
Hm.

358
00:14:04,562 --> 00:14:05,661
I don't have the
schedule in front of me,

359
00:14:05,696 --> 00:14:07,196
so I'm gonna have to
take your word on that.

360
00:14:07,231 --> 00:14:10,165
Jesus Christ, you goddamn piece of shit!

361
00:14:10,201 --> 00:14:12,167
Pennsylvania Shale's
trying to ruin the season,

362
00:14:12,203 --> 00:14:13,502
and you're helping them!

363
00:14:13,537 --> 00:14:15,337
Jules, I'm not gonna lie to you.

364
00:14:18,009 --> 00:14:19,074
Hey, guess what!

365
00:14:19,110 --> 00:14:20,843
You don't know who you're messing with!

366
00:14:20,878 --> 00:14:24,680
I'm gonna Lucy them
right in their asses!

367
00:14:24,715 --> 00:14:25,714
Pompom!

368
00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:27,650
- Hm? Hi, Ms. James.
- We got to go.

369
00:14:27,685 --> 00:14:29,385
This way.

370
00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:31,353
- Yeah, let's hustle, okay?
- All right.

371
00:14:31,389 --> 00:14:33,522
We don't want the kittens
to come out of the basket.

372
00:14:33,557 --> 00:14:35,291
So, why did Hitler invade Russia

373
00:14:35,326 --> 00:14:37,893
and voluntarily start
a war on two fronts?

374
00:14:37,929 --> 00:14:40,496
Well, he was still basically
the same reckless man

375
00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:42,360
from the Beer Hall Putsch in 1923.

376
00:14:42,407 --> 00:14:44,867
He let impatience overwhelm strategy.

377
00:14:44,902 --> 00:14:46,936
Oh, um, anywhoodles, the point is this.

378
00:14:46,971 --> 00:14:48,470
If you're gonna chew tobacco,

379
00:14:48,506 --> 00:14:50,940
don't let it get all over the floor.
That's what Hitler would've done.

380
00:14:50,975 --> 00:14:53,943
Uh, quick side bar, then I'm
gonna call my final witness.

381
00:14:56,047 --> 00:14:57,279
What? What's the matter with you?

382
00:14:57,315 --> 00:14:59,381
No, nothing... just
Pennsylvania Shale's trying

383
00:14:59,417 --> 00:15:02,551
to destroy me, and also Gary's evil.

384
00:15:02,586 --> 00:15:04,720
So, go ahead and gloat.
You were right about him.

385
00:15:04,755 --> 00:15:06,755
Oh, no, no, now, you
think I'm the kind of guy

386
00:15:06,791 --> 00:15:08,090
that likes to say, "I told you so,"

387
00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:09,258
but that's not true.

388
00:15:09,293 --> 00:15:11,293
I love to say it, and I will be doing so

389
00:15:11,329 --> 00:15:13,462
in the days and months
ahead at random moments

390
00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:14,691
when you least expect it.

391
00:15:14,762 --> 00:15:16,632
We got 20 minutes till the next game.

392
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:18,500
Can we wrap this up, please?

393
00:15:18,536 --> 00:15:20,169
- All right, a quick question...
- Yeah.

394
00:15:20,204 --> 00:15:21,937
When you and Pompom were walking back,

395
00:15:21,973 --> 00:15:23,939
did you talk at all
about how I told you so?

396
00:15:23,975 --> 00:15:25,975
And it begins.

397
00:15:26,010 --> 00:15:27,276
All right, I call Pompom.

398
00:15:28,746 --> 00:15:31,480
All right, Stanton has
testified that he thought

399
00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:33,382
you told Yoshi to bean the pitcher.

400
00:15:33,417 --> 00:15:35,045
But what did you actually say?

401
00:15:35,155 --> 00:15:37,252
I told Yoshi to bean the pitcher.

402
00:15:37,288 --> 00:15:38,287
Mm.

403
00:15:38,322 --> 00:15:39,811
Then, I said if he didn't,

404
00:15:39,850 --> 00:15:42,092
he might permanently
alienate his teammates.

405
00:15:42,162 --> 00:15:43,993
Now, I remember it
well because there was

406
00:15:44,028 --> 00:15:46,628
a middle-aged woman
slowly eating a corn dog

407
00:15:46,664 --> 00:15:49,198
in the stands behind him, and
I filed the whole thing away

408
00:15:49,233 --> 00:15:50,432
in my spank bank.

409
00:15:50,468 --> 00:15:53,068
Compelling testimony.

410
00:15:53,104 --> 00:15:54,903
Look, he says that that conversation,

411
00:15:54,939 --> 00:15:56,005
it never happened.

412
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,474
Well, then, Szechuan Sam is lying.

413
00:16:05,014 --> 00:16:06,480
Yoshi says that he refuses to play

414
00:16:06,516 --> 00:16:08,048
for any team that calls him a liar.

415
00:16:08,137 --> 00:16:10,019
_

416
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,027
_

417
00:16:12,356 --> 00:16:13,832
_

418
00:16:15,359 --> 00:16:17,426
- Yoshi, he quits.
- Yoshi! Yoshi!

419
00:16:17,461 --> 00:16:18,994
Yoshi, we can work something out!

420
00:16:19,030 --> 00:16:20,662
Oh, boy.

421
00:16:20,698 --> 00:16:22,464
Your best player leaving on the same day

422
00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:25,034
that a billion-dollar
company declares war on you.

423
00:16:25,069 --> 00:16:27,302
That has got to be a
kick in the kitty cat.

424
00:16:27,338 --> 00:16:30,139
I think the important thing
here is, though, that I helped.

425
00:16:30,174 --> 00:16:32,141
Why is that important?

426
00:16:32,176 --> 00:16:33,942
Because I didn't have to.

427
00:16:35,137 --> 00:16:37,672
I just don't get how
Pompom and Yoshi can have

428
00:16:37,708 --> 00:16:40,244
such wildly different versions
of the same exact conversation.

429
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:42,577
I mean, it was just the two of them.

430
00:16:44,147 --> 00:16:45,413
Wait, the... The three of them,

431
00:16:45,502 --> 00:16:47,369
because the translator
had to be there, right?

432
00:16:50,887 --> 00:16:52,386
Oh!

433
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,159
Oh, shit! Wait.

434
00:16:54,237 --> 00:16:55,761
Did I just solve it?

435
00:16:55,863 --> 00:16:57,296
I think that you did, yeah.

436
00:16:57,331 --> 00:16:59,265
I knew it. I knew I solved it.

437
00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:01,667
Look at me on my "Law
& Order: SVU" type shit.

438
00:17:01,702 --> 00:17:03,135
Just set me up, and
I knocked it out like,

439
00:17:03,170 --> 00:17:05,771
- "These are their stories."
- Yeah, very nice.

440
00:17:05,806 --> 00:17:07,640
But for the record,
when I tell this story,

441
00:17:07,675 --> 00:17:09,008
I'm gonna be the one that solves it.

442
00:17:09,043 --> 00:17:11,362
It's just it's gonna
flow better that way.

443
00:17:11,433 --> 00:17:14,046
Hey, hey, cut the bull...
Hey! Cut the bullshit.

444
00:17:14,081 --> 00:17:17,850
Why are you trying to take
away Yoshi's last chance?

445
00:17:17,885 --> 00:17:19,618
I had to get him to quit.

446
00:17:19,654 --> 00:17:21,587
I cannot live here.

447
00:17:21,622 --> 00:17:25,624
Just 10 minutes ago, I
saw a child who was so fat

448
00:17:25,660 --> 00:17:27,927
that he could not get up off his back.

449
00:17:27,962 --> 00:17:29,662
H-He look like a-a tortoise.

450
00:17:29,697 --> 00:17:31,764
Holy shit, is that kid still there?

451
00:17:31,799 --> 00:17:33,165
Oh, yeah.

452
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,467
You didn't try to help
him up either, huh?

453
00:17:35,503 --> 00:17:37,770
Oh, no, ugh. H-He looked very sticky.

454
00:17:37,805 --> 00:17:39,872
Hai, hai.

455
00:17:39,907 --> 00:17:41,574
- Among other things.
- _

456
00:17:43,544 --> 00:17:47,179
Look, I know you feel the
same as I do about this town.

457
00:17:47,214 --> 00:17:49,181
Every game, I listen to you get drunk

458
00:17:49,216 --> 00:17:51,216
to deal with the reality
that you are trapped

459
00:17:51,252 --> 00:17:52,551
here in this place.

460
00:17:52,587 --> 00:17:55,220
No, no, I just have a
drinking problem, friend.

461
00:17:55,256 --> 00:17:57,990
But you're not wrong. This town is...

462
00:17:58,025 --> 00:17:59,792
a gaping shit hole.

463
00:17:59,827 --> 00:18:00,893
So...

464
00:18:00,928 --> 00:18:03,762
So, why do you care what happens here?

465
00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:07,933
And that was the moment
that I realized that I cared.

466
00:18:07,969 --> 00:18:09,001
Why did I care?

467
00:18:09,036 --> 00:18:10,669
Because I was finally part of a team.

468
00:18:10,705 --> 00:18:12,705
I didn't mean to join it, but, you know,

469
00:18:12,740 --> 00:18:14,673
when you care about one
person, then you start to care

470
00:18:14,709 --> 00:18:17,042
about who they care about,
and on and on that goes

471
00:18:17,078 --> 00:18:19,378
until you look around
one day and you realize

472
00:18:19,413 --> 00:18:21,947
that there's a group of people
you'd actually fight for,

473
00:18:21,983 --> 00:18:23,782
and that goes for
everybody in this room.

474
00:18:23,818 --> 00:18:25,250
We are all part of a team.

475
00:18:25,286 --> 00:18:28,153
Look, I live my life very selfishly.

476
00:18:28,189 --> 00:18:30,122
The last teammate I had, I betrayed him.

477
00:18:30,157 --> 00:18:31,333
Why?

478
00:18:31,380 --> 00:18:34,560
Because of ambition and my own
very narrow-minded views on sex.

479
00:18:34,595 --> 00:18:36,795
But with age and experience,
I've come to realize, fellas,

480
00:18:36,831 --> 00:18:38,697
that sexuality is...

481
00:18:38,733 --> 00:18:39,965
Well, it's really more of a spectrum.

482
00:18:40,001 --> 00:18:41,600
Yes, it is. No, it is.

483
00:18:41,636 --> 00:18:43,602
Guys, one time when I was in Estonia...

484
00:18:43,638 --> 00:18:45,371
No, no, no, just stay with me on this.

485
00:18:45,406 --> 00:18:47,973
I was hiking through the
forest, and I came upon

486
00:18:48,009 --> 00:18:50,843
what must've been a
cruising spot for gay men.

487
00:18:50,878 --> 00:18:52,511
In the center of this clearing was

488
00:18:52,546 --> 00:18:53,679
what could best be described as...

489
00:18:53,714 --> 00:18:55,247
Well, it was a stump...

490
00:18:55,282 --> 00:18:58,450
Ohh! ... worn smooth from years
of casual anonymous encounters.

491
00:18:58,486 --> 00:19:01,253
- That is enough of that!
- Guys... guys after guys...

492
00:19:01,288 --> 00:19:03,555
All right, we are already
10 minutes late for warm ups.

493
00:19:03,591 --> 00:19:04,890
Let's get on the field!

494
00:19:09,063 --> 00:19:13,098
Let's go! Come on now!

495
00:19:13,134 --> 00:19:16,402
Yoshi, my friend, are you joining us?

496
00:19:16,437 --> 00:19:18,170
Ah.

497
00:19:18,329 --> 00:19:19,555
_

498
00:19:19,814 --> 00:19:22,368
_

499
00:19:22,998 --> 00:19:25,646
_

500
00:19:26,271 --> 00:19:31,877
_

501
00:19:33,754 --> 00:19:35,587
- Yeah, he's real happy to be here.
- Ah!

502
00:19:35,623 --> 00:19:37,289
Look, the truth is I speak Japanese

503
00:19:37,324 --> 00:19:38,857
at a third-grade level,
so you're gonna have

504
00:19:38,893 --> 00:19:40,492
- to get somebody else to translate.
- That's okay.

505
00:19:40,528 --> 00:19:42,828
I am just so glad
something finally broke

506
00:19:42,863 --> 00:19:44,296
my way today and
everything got resolved.

507
00:19:44,331 --> 00:19:46,928
- All right.
- No, no, no, no, Miss Jules.

508
00:19:46,983 --> 00:19:49,435
Mnh-mnh.

509
00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:50,803
What can I do for you, my friend?

510
00:19:50,838 --> 00:19:54,506
I still don't have payback
for the Summerville pitcher.

511
00:19:57,178 --> 00:19:59,845
I actually have an idea about that.

512
00:20:03,684 --> 00:20:06,251
Now, your mom didn't say
it was an emergency exactly,

513
00:20:06,287 --> 00:20:08,487
but it did sound kind of important.

514
00:20:08,522 --> 00:20:10,989
So, just go straight back
there. You'll see a phone.

515
00:20:11,025 --> 00:20:12,891
Straight back. Keep going.

516
00:20:14,028 --> 00:20:15,961
Yoshi Takatsu? I am a big fan.

517
00:20:15,996 --> 00:20:17,706
Whoa!

518
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:19,565
- Charles.
- Mm-hmm?

519
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,267
I just want to say I'm sorry
if I went a little overboard

520
00:20:22,303 --> 00:20:24,336
on all of that gay stuff, you know?

521
00:20:24,371 --> 00:20:27,709
The truth is everybody in your
generation seems gay to me.

522
00:20:27,740 --> 00:20:29,568
But I want you to know...

523
00:20:29,642 --> 00:20:30,706
Ooh!

524
00:20:30,711 --> 00:20:32,911
- I want you to know, Charles...
- Hm?

525
00:20:32,947 --> 00:20:35,848
... that whatever you become, I
think it's gonna be really special.

526
00:20:35,883 --> 00:20:37,516
You know why? 'Cause you're smart

527
00:20:37,551 --> 00:20:39,118
- and you don't take any shit, son...
- Hey, whoa!

528
00:20:39,153 --> 00:20:41,053
... and that's exactly
what you need to navigate

529
00:20:41,102 --> 00:20:43,001
the cold chaos of this world.

530
00:20:43,065 --> 00:20:44,283
Aah!

531
00:20:44,525 --> 00:20:46,158
Aaah!

532
00:20:46,193 --> 00:20:47,793
T-Thank you.

533
00:20:47,828 --> 00:20:49,128
You're killing me!

534
00:20:49,163 --> 00:20:51,029
Thank you!

535
00:20:51,065 --> 00:20:53,265
- "Ooshi," no!
- We should... We should... Let's...

536
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:56,335
Let's... Yeah. Let's get
out of here. Hurry up.

537
00:20:56,370 --> 00:21:00,072
You know, this whole thing
has showed me that you and I,

538
00:21:00,107 --> 00:21:02,107
w-we're kind of a team, too.

539
00:21:02,143 --> 00:21:03,675
We're kind of like...

540
00:21:03,711 --> 00:21:06,779
We're kind of like
boyfriend and girlfriend.

541
00:21:06,814 --> 00:21:08,647
Yeah, I know, Jim.

542
00:21:08,682 --> 00:21:10,849
- You do?
- Mm-hmm.

543
00:21:10,885 --> 00:21:12,518
How long have you known that?

544
00:21:12,553 --> 00:21:14,453
Mm...

545
00:21:14,488 --> 00:21:16,155
when I stopped paying
for your hotel room

546
00:21:16,190 --> 00:21:18,991
'cause you were sleeping
at my apartment every night.

547
00:21:19,026 --> 00:21:21,627
So, wait. A-Are we living together?

548
00:21:22,696 --> 00:21:25,097
If it offends your
delicate sensibilities,

549
00:21:25,132 --> 00:21:27,599
you can tell yourself you're squatting.

550
00:21:27,635 --> 00:21:29,101
I need a beer.

551
00:21:29,136 --> 00:21:30,769
- I'll grab you one.
- No, that's all right.

552
00:21:30,805 --> 00:21:31,737
Dale!

553
00:21:40,514 --> 00:21:41,947
Goddamn, you are beautiful.

554
00:21:51,225 --> 00:21:53,207
Lucy?

555
00:21:53,286 --> 00:21:57,353
Synced and corrected by Dragoniod for
- www.addic7ed.com -