1 00:00:01,190 --> 00:00:03,110 [Dog barks in distance] 2 00:00:03,150 --> 00:00:04,800 [Nicole clears throat, bottle clinks] 3 00:00:04,850 --> 00:00:09,290 [Indistinct conversations] 4 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:11,590 Hey. 5 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,200 You have chlamydia. 6 00:00:13,250 --> 00:00:14,420 What? 7 00:00:14,470 --> 00:00:15,990 I said, "You have chlamydia." 8 00:00:16,030 --> 00:00:17,560 How do you know? 9 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,470 Because you rawdogged me. And I have chlamydia. 10 00:00:21,860 --> 00:00:23,740 Excellent. 11 00:00:25,130 --> 00:00:27,000 [Grunts] Your place is kind of gross. 12 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:30,050 Well, gee, I'm -- I'm real embarrassed about that, 13 00:00:30,090 --> 00:00:32,180 uh, woman who just gave me chlamydia. 14 00:00:32,220 --> 00:00:34,350 Normally, I have a surprisingly tidy, 15 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,700 young black man come in 16 00:00:35,750 --> 00:00:37,660 and clean up after me, but, um... 17 00:00:37,710 --> 00:00:39,360 [Smacks lips] 18 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,620 You know, I realize that just sounded like he was my servant. 19 00:00:41,670 --> 00:00:43,760 He's not my servant. 20 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,760 Also just realized that it sounded like 21 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,930 I'd be surprised that a black man was tidy. 22 00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:49,800 You know, I think I'm at my most problematic 23 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,020 before I've had my coffee. 24 00:00:51,070 --> 00:00:52,940 Yeah. What are you talking about? 25 00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:55,900 [Toilet flushes in distance]That's a good question. [Sighs] 26 00:00:55,940 --> 00:00:57,860 My roommate recently moved out on me, 27 00:00:57,900 --> 00:00:59,950 and I'm still adjusting to that. 28 00:00:59,990 --> 00:01:02,300 You know? Doing pretty well overall. 29 00:01:02,340 --> 00:01:05,260 Did I shit over there in that corner? 30 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:06,820 No. That was Rick. 31 00:01:06,870 --> 00:01:08,480 Oh. 32 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,170 Seems like a very nice young man. 33 00:01:10,220 --> 00:01:13,790 Oh, you have syphilis. You're welcome. 34 00:01:13,830 --> 00:01:15,090 Maybe Rick does, too. 35 00:01:15,130 --> 00:01:16,270 I don't remember every little thing 36 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:17,350 that happened here last night. 37 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:18,830 [Grunts] 38 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:20,840 I think it's infected. 39 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,230 What? 40 00:01:22,270 --> 00:01:24,400 That. Shit. 41 00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:26,150 The hell is that? 42 00:01:26,190 --> 00:01:30,800 It's two lizards 69ing each other. 43 00:01:30,850 --> 00:01:33,330 Well, that's less than ideal. 44 00:01:33,370 --> 00:01:34,330 Oh, boy. 45 00:01:34,370 --> 00:01:37,940 Damn it. Man. 46 00:01:41,510 --> 00:01:42,550 Oh. 47 00:01:44,770 --> 00:01:48,040 Does anyone know where this guy keeps his drugs? 48 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:50,600 [Muffled, indistinct chatter] 49 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:54,910 [Monitor beeping steadily] 50 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:56,830 Hey. Hi. 51 00:01:56,870 --> 00:01:57,920 Oh, Mr. Brockmire. 52 00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,440 Oh, I hope you don't mind. 53 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,660 My students were hoping to observe. 54 00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:04,620 It's not every day they get to see a case like this. 55 00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:06,010 What, you mean like a celebrity? 56 00:02:06,050 --> 00:02:07,320 Sure. 57 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,320 Yeah, hey, more, the merrier, right? 58 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,500 It might help us if you could just take us 59 00:02:11,540 --> 00:02:13,060 through the last few weeks. 60 00:02:13,110 --> 00:02:15,190 Well, best I can remember, 61 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,150 I threw away my dream job, 62 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,550 and then I became the focal point 63 00:02:18,590 --> 00:02:20,850 for a national conversation about race. 64 00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:22,250 Oh, right. 65 00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:23,940 Yeah. Yeah, I'm that guy. 66 00:02:23,990 --> 00:02:25,730 Just, you know, out of curiosity, 67 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:28,510 how many of you are on my side in all that? 68 00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:31,560 Alright. One, two. 69 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,870 And how many of you are on that racist Art Newlie's side? 70 00:02:36,820 --> 00:02:38,650 Really?! Wow. 71 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,610 I mean, I know this is the South and everything, 72 00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:43,220 but y'all, you're highly educated medical doctors. 73 00:02:43,270 --> 00:02:45,220 You're not ashamed to admit that in public? 74 00:02:45,270 --> 00:02:46,270 Well... 75 00:02:46,310 --> 00:02:47,920 Let's get back to you. 76 00:02:47,970 --> 00:02:51,970 Well, I have definitely been in a cycle of blacking out 77 00:02:52,010 --> 00:02:54,360 and waking up in very strange places lately. 78 00:02:54,410 --> 00:02:55,670 Recently came to 79 00:02:55,710 --> 00:02:58,240 at a strip club as it was closing. 80 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,150 It wasn't late -- just the health inspector 81 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,890 had walked in and shut the place down. 82 00:03:01,940 --> 00:03:04,110 After that, I remember waking up 83 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:07,160 next to a young lady with very few inhibitions 84 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,810 and quite a lot of chlamydia. 85 00:03:08,860 --> 00:03:11,250 But, well, you probably know that, right? 86 00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:12,730 You got my chart right there. 87 00:03:12,770 --> 00:03:15,250 You -- You actually have two strains of chlamydia -- 88 00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,740 one on your penis and one in your throat. 89 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:21,830 Is that what I'm tasting? Oh, Rick, you sneaky bastard. 90 00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:23,350 Well, you also have liver damage... 91 00:03:23,390 --> 00:03:26,270 Ugh....blunt-force trauma, and scurvy, 92 00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:28,270 which is actually why we're all here. 93 00:03:28,310 --> 00:03:30,840 This is the only case we'll ever get to see 94 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,140 outside of a textbook. 95 00:03:32,180 --> 00:03:34,100 Scurvy, huh? 96 00:03:34,140 --> 00:03:36,230 It's that why my -- my teeth are getting loose? 97 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,150 I was just hoping that my gums were getting more flexible. 98 00:03:39,190 --> 00:03:43,280 Well, I always have referred to orange juice 99 00:03:43,330 --> 00:03:47,330 as a glass of vodka wasted, so, uh... 100 00:03:47,370 --> 00:03:49,460 I guess scurvy makes sense. 101 00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:51,680 [Telephone rings] 102 00:03:54,990 --> 00:03:56,300 Can I talk to you a minute? 103 00:03:56,340 --> 00:03:57,910 Yeah. 104 00:03:57,950 --> 00:03:59,730 So, what is your relationship with the patient? 105 00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:02,870 His, uh, ex-business partner. 106 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,130 You didn't have that on the thing, 107 00:04:04,170 --> 00:04:05,650 so I just wrote it in. 108 00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:06,960 Don't worry. I'll make sure he gets home safe. 109 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,090 No, no, no, no, no, no. 110 00:04:08,130 --> 00:04:09,310 He shouldn't be going anywhere, 111 00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:10,740 not in his condition. 112 00:04:10,790 --> 00:04:12,570 What's wrong with him, exactly? 113 00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,360 Honestly? Everything. 114 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,100 His body is literally shutting down, 115 00:04:17,140 --> 00:04:20,320 and if your friend does not stop drinking, and soon, 116 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,490 your friend is gonna die. 117 00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:23,630 I should not have left him alone. 118 00:04:23,670 --> 00:04:26,060 Okay. I'll take care of everything. 119 00:04:26,110 --> 00:04:29,200 I'll make sure he does not leave my...sight. 120 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,200 [Sighs] 121 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,070 Have you seen a bottle of champagne? 122 00:04:33,110 --> 00:04:34,730 The old man next door swears that he brought it in 123 00:04:34,770 --> 00:04:36,030 to celebrate his new grandson. 124 00:04:36,070 --> 00:04:37,210 [P.A. system beeps] 125 00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:38,510 Man: Doctor on call, dial ER. 126 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,080 Doctor on call, dial ER. 127 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:45,080 Well, I want to thank everyone for being here. 128 00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:48,570 Jean, you have some experience with interventions 'cause... 129 00:04:48,610 --> 00:04:50,520 -Because I was a filthy drunk. 130 00:04:50,570 --> 00:04:52,530 It's okay. You can say it. 131 00:04:52,570 --> 00:04:55,220 Nature and nurture both pushed me and Jim towards the bottle, 132 00:04:55,270 --> 00:04:56,920 but now, I have the tools to help him. 133 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,230 -What made you get sober, Jean? 134 00:04:59,270 --> 00:05:00,710 -At my intervention, 135 00:05:00,750 --> 00:05:02,580 when it was my husband Norm's turn to speak, 136 00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:05,320 he said, "Stop, Jean, please." 137 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:08,060 Now, Norm doesn't normally carry on like that, 138 00:05:08,110 --> 00:05:09,540 so it cut me to the bone. 139 00:05:09,590 --> 00:05:11,630 I'm really nervous, you guys. 140 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,630 Jim is so good at turning an argument against you. 141 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,070 -[Scoffs] -Word. -That's true. 142 00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:18,070 I once apologized 143 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,470 for the skidmarks on his underwear. 144 00:05:20,510 --> 00:05:23,600 That's why I had each of you write a letter to read from, 145 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,210 so it isn't a conversation. 146 00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:26,730 You get to say everything you need to. 147 00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:30,260 Now, I suggest you start with an "I feel" sentence. 148 00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:31,960 Okay, okay. 149 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,530 I feel like there's a lot of love in this room right now. 150 00:05:35,570 --> 00:05:39,090 No, start with something that's not quite that stupid. 151 00:05:39,140 --> 00:05:40,360 Okay, guys. You know, it's almost 11:00. 152 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:41,490 We should really go. 153 00:05:41,530 --> 00:05:43,490 Actually, we shouldn't go anywhere. 154 00:05:43,530 --> 00:05:46,710 Three...two...one. 155 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:48,800 [Door opens] 156 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:51,020 Jack, my friend, give me a lunchtime special. 157 00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:52,460 Why don't you make it a double? 158 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:54,810 Throw it on the rocks -- little change of pace. 159 00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:56,200 Jim. 160 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:57,290 Charles. 161 00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:02,730 This is an intervention. 162 00:06:02,770 --> 00:06:05,900 Oh, Charles, you clever, little S.O.B. 163 00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:08,340 My goodness. Look at you all. 164 00:06:08,380 --> 00:06:10,470 Guess I'm trapped, huh? 165 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,780 No sense chewing off my own leg here. 166 00:06:12,820 --> 00:06:14,130 [Chuckles] 167 00:06:14,170 --> 00:06:15,520 Who knows? 168 00:06:15,570 --> 00:06:17,480 Maybe the eighth time will be the charm. 169 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,270 [Chuckling] Oh, boy. Well, I got to say. 170 00:06:22,310 --> 00:06:25,140 Seeing y'all come together like this, trying to save me 171 00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:29,010 from the self-destructive spiral that I'm in, it's -- 172 00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:30,140 I'm underwhelmed. 173 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,840 Oh, come on, Jim!Jim. 174 00:06:31,890 --> 00:06:33,370 I'm just saying, when they throw 175 00:06:33,410 --> 00:06:34,450 an intervention for you in the Philippines, 176 00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:35,720 they put out a spread, you know? 177 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,110 Some adobo, a full pot of bulalo, 178 00:06:38,150 --> 00:06:40,500 a couple of trays of pastillas de leche. 179 00:06:40,550 --> 00:06:41,940 Last intervention I was at, 180 00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:43,810 they roasted a pig, an entire pig. 181 00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:45,640 Hey, that takes eight hours. 182 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,680 You know, I came for the pig, I stayed for the intervention. 183 00:06:47,730 --> 00:06:49,820 I mean, no, I had to at that point. 184 00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:52,470 I was, uh -- I was pig-committed, as they say. 185 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:53,520 What have you guys got here? 186 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:54,520 Bagels. Okay. 187 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:55,910 'Cause, yeah, 188 00:06:55,950 --> 00:06:57,350 that's what New Orleans is known for. 189 00:06:57,390 --> 00:06:58,610 Let me ask you a question. 190 00:06:58,650 --> 00:06:59,610 How the hell did Raj make the cut? 191 00:06:59,650 --> 00:07:01,480 I love you, too, bro. 192 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:04,480 Well, our biggest guest hasn't even made it yet. 193 00:07:04,530 --> 00:07:06,220 Oh, boy.Charles: Look who's Skyping in. 194 00:07:06,270 --> 00:07:07,400 What the hell is this? 195 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,840 Oh! Joe Buck, ladies and gentlemen. 196 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,620 Ta-da! Hey, everyone. 197 00:07:11,660 --> 00:07:12,930 Let's get Jim healthy. 198 00:07:12,970 --> 00:07:14,490 [Scoffs] 199 00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:16,190 Are you seriously not even remotely impressed? 200 00:07:16,230 --> 00:07:17,450 Not even a little bit. 201 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:19,110 Joe Buck's schedule alone was a nightmare. 202 00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:21,200 Joe Buck is not here, Charlie. You understand that? 203 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,240 It's just his gigantic head staring at me on the screen 204 00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:26,370 like the darkest version of "1984." 205 00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:30,420 Hey, I'm calling a senior LPGA skins game today, 206 00:07:30,470 --> 00:07:33,510 but I carved out time for you 207 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,910 because I care and... 208 00:07:35,950 --> 00:07:38,520 Hold on. 209 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:42,040 And welcome back to French Lick Resort, 210 00:07:42,090 --> 00:07:45,610 the jewel here in Southeastern Indiana 211 00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:48,220 where dozens of silver-haired ladies 212 00:07:48,270 --> 00:07:50,050 are duking it out...I'll find a way to mute Joe Buck in a second. 213 00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:51,530 Just --No, wait. I actually want to see this. 214 00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:53,970 I got 200 bucks on Barb Moxness. 215 00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:55,140 Come on, Jim. 216 00:07:55,190 --> 00:07:57,540 Take this seriously! 217 00:07:57,580 --> 00:07:59,760 We are all very worried about you. 218 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,630 So sit your ass down, get ready to take a goddamn moral inventory, 219 00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:05,590 you ungrateful piece of shit. 220 00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:08,810 Ooh. You see why I can't stay, right? 221 00:08:08,850 --> 00:08:09,900 Jim! 222 00:08:12,380 --> 00:08:14,470 All I ask is that you give this a try. 223 00:08:16,950 --> 00:08:18,300 As a favor to you. 224 00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:19,780 You could literally die if you don't. 225 00:08:19,820 --> 00:08:21,390 Learn how to accept a favor, okay? 226 00:08:21,430 --> 00:08:22,560 Just -- Just -- Okay? 227 00:08:22,610 --> 00:08:24,170 Thank you. 228 00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:26,390 Gonna have a bagel. 229 00:08:26,430 --> 00:08:28,960 No cream cheese? Really? Are you kidding? 230 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,880 Alright. I'll eat it dry. Tastes like a Nerf ball. 231 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:34,620 [Sighs] 232 00:08:36,530 --> 00:08:38,230 Lucy, you want to start us off? 233 00:08:38,270 --> 00:08:40,100 [Sighing] Okay. 234 00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:42,020 Hi, Jim. 235 00:08:42,060 --> 00:08:43,020 [Chuckles nervously] 236 00:08:43,060 --> 00:08:46,590 This is really hard. 237 00:08:46,630 --> 00:08:49,550 I'm here today to say I love you. 238 00:08:49,590 --> 00:08:51,720 Well, thank you, Lucy. 239 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,590 You know, I-I hear that, and-- and I accept it. 240 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,730 That means a lot to me. 241 00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,420 But I also came here to tell you 242 00:08:58,470 --> 00:09:00,430 how your drinking has hurt me in the following ways. 243 00:09:00,470 --> 00:09:03,650 Nope. I hurt you? Excuse me. I hurt you?Are you kidding me? 244 00:09:03,690 --> 00:09:05,390 'Cause you know what hurt me? 245 00:09:05,430 --> 00:09:07,430 No, when you were dildo-deep in our neighbor's asshole. 246 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,740 Jim!Little too much? I do apologize. 247 00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:11,570 I'm sorry. Intervene away. 248 00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:14,790 We would end up at the stripper's houseboat 249 00:09:14,830 --> 00:09:17,440 drinking mezcal from her shoe. 250 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,580 [Chuckles] It was the best night of my life! 251 00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:22,580 [Laughs] 252 00:09:24,930 --> 00:09:28,280 Uh, I think Uribe did this wrong. 253 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,800 [Scoffs] 254 00:09:29,850 --> 00:09:36,200 3,426 days -- that's how long I've been sober. 255 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,860 Each day is just as hard as the last, maybe harder. 256 00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:42,290 Every day, a part of me wants to drink again. 257 00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:44,860 Every morning, I wake up and I wonder, 258 00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:47,600 "Today, will I embrace step seven 259 00:09:47,650 --> 00:09:50,910 and ask for help to overcome my shortcomings, 260 00:09:50,950 --> 00:09:53,700 or will I kiss my miserable children goodbye, 261 00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:56,260 lock myself in the garage, and take down 40 ounces 262 00:09:56,310 --> 00:09:58,790 of drug-store vodka before lunch?" 263 00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:01,660 ♪♪ 264 00:10:01,700 --> 00:10:04,360 I can almost taste it. 265 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,490 ♪♪ 266 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,580 Hey, guys. I hope you don't mind. 267 00:10:09,630 --> 00:10:11,760 I had them put mine in teleprompter. 268 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:15,670 Eye contact is how I tend to connect with my audience. 269 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,280 Jim, I thought it only appropriate 270 00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:20,200 to start with a quote by the great Maya Angelou. 271 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,590 "Love recognizes no barriers. 272 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:24,250 It jumps hurdles, 273 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,600 it leaps fence--" 274 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,470 Anybody object to me putting a bullet 275 00:10:27,510 --> 00:10:29,380 in the head of whatever the hell that was about to be? 276 00:10:29,430 --> 00:10:30,470 Together: No. 277 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,390 Jim, you've been a mentor, 278 00:10:32,430 --> 00:10:36,430 a hero, a rival, a friend. 279 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,920 But through it all, there's been one thing 280 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:43,960 that I have really, really wanted to say to you. 281 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:46,400 ♪♪ 282 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,580 Milwaukee just hired me. 283 00:10:48,620 --> 00:10:50,710 [Paper rustles] 284 00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:55,670 Fuck you, you goddamn vampire, 285 00:10:55,710 --> 00:10:57,540 you wrinkly has-been! 286 00:10:57,590 --> 00:11:00,150 I'm a Major League broadcaster!" 287 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,550 [Growls] 288 00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:10,690 [Laughs] 289 00:11:10,730 --> 00:11:13,170 [Laughs] Hey? 290 00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:15,690 Holy shit, that's a good bit. 291 00:11:15,730 --> 00:11:17,300 Damn it, Raj.Yes. Yes. 292 00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:19,560 [Chuckling] I didn't know you had that in you. 293 00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:21,000 Oh, man. Look at that. 294 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,130 You did win me over in the end. Good for you. 295 00:11:23,180 --> 00:11:26,140 I told you I would. I wasn't sure, but we just did it. 296 00:11:26,180 --> 00:11:27,660 Don't change, Jim. 297 00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:29,050 Good luck in Milwaukee. 298 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:30,660 So, that's it?Huh? 299 00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:32,190 Well, that was -- that was your whole thing? 300 00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:34,580 Yeah, yep. That's pretty much all I got. 301 00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:35,890 Hey. 302 00:11:35,930 --> 00:11:38,280 Jean: And now our father's in the ground. 303 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:39,540 He's dead. 304 00:11:39,580 --> 00:11:41,370 I've been thinking a lot about that. 305 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:44,240 Not because I miss him. I don't. He was a prick. 306 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:48,420 But because [Sighs] now I know what it would feel like 307 00:11:48,460 --> 00:11:51,340 to bury someone I did care about. 308 00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:54,510 Someone like you. 309 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:57,380 And I'm not ready for that yet. 310 00:11:57,430 --> 00:12:01,130 ♪♪ 311 00:12:01,170 --> 00:12:05,780 Uribe parties because he love life. 312 00:12:05,830 --> 00:12:07,920 You do it because you hate it. 313 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,880 ♪♪ 314 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:13,400 I think part of you is happy I cheated on you 315 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,790 because now, you don't have to hide it. 316 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:21,450 You get a free pass to drink as much as you want forever. 317 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:24,280 But I'm asking you not to, Jim. 318 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,890 ♪♪ 319 00:12:26,940 --> 00:12:30,460 You just... 320 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:34,200 You just came back into my life, 321 00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:36,380 and I don't want to lose you again. 322 00:12:48,650 --> 00:12:53,350 Look, I know this is hard to hear, but it's important. 323 00:12:55,830 --> 00:12:57,530 [Slurping] Wait a minute. 324 00:12:57,580 --> 00:12:59,060 Are you -- 325 00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:00,400 Are you drinking right now?! 326 00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:02,840 Now, don't make this a thing, alright? 327 00:13:02,890 --> 00:13:05,540 Oh, my God. We should have known. 328 00:13:05,580 --> 00:13:09,330 How could you drink at your own intervention? 329 00:13:09,370 --> 00:13:10,980 Well, if you didn't want me to drink, 330 00:13:11,020 --> 00:13:13,110 you shouldn't have held my intervention in a bar. 331 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,160 Although, to be fair, if I couldn't drink, 332 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,290 there's no way I would have stayed for this, 333 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,340 so good call holding it in a bar, Charles. 334 00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:21,030 In fact, I could use another round. 335 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,170 Who's with me here? 336 00:13:22,210 --> 00:13:23,820 No! No! No more drinking. 337 00:13:23,860 --> 00:13:26,210 Then can we at least skip the lame opening acts 338 00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:28,560 and get right to the main attraction, please? 339 00:13:28,610 --> 00:13:30,130 See, Charles knows the only shot in hell 340 00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:31,740 that this has of actually working 341 00:13:31,780 --> 00:13:33,960 is if he brings in Jules as a surprise closer, 342 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,830 so can we bring her out? 343 00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:38,140 Jules? Hello? Help me! 344 00:13:38,180 --> 00:13:39,230 Jules isn't here. 345 00:13:40,180 --> 00:13:42,270 I invited her, told her to come down. 346 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:45,360 She said no, said it wasn't gonna work. 347 00:13:45,410 --> 00:13:46,580 -Well -- -Apparently she was right. 348 00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:48,230 Yeah, well, what'd you expect? 349 00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:49,890 You brought me into a room full of addicts, Charles. 350 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,370 I mean -- -We're not addicts. 351 00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:52,940 Oh, really? 352 00:13:52,980 --> 00:13:54,760 What if I told you you, uh, couldn't have sex again? 353 00:13:54,810 --> 00:13:56,420 Today? 354 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,770 I guess -- I guess that would be hard. 355 00:13:57,810 --> 00:13:59,200 Yeah, I guess. 356 00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:00,590 Look, we all have our own little coping mechanisms 357 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,900 to get through 358 00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:03,820 this charnel house called life, alright? 359 00:14:03,860 --> 00:14:07,080 Lucy has to have sex with every single person that she meets. 360 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,080 Pedro staves off oblivion 361 00:14:09,130 --> 00:14:11,480 through constant and relentless procreation. 362 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,130 Oye, papi, that's a stretch, okay? 363 00:14:13,170 --> 00:14:14,130 You have 14 children. 364 00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:15,870 And hopefully, 15, okay, 365 00:14:15,910 --> 00:14:18,310 because Uribe has been painting Polly's uterine wall 366 00:14:18,350 --> 00:14:19,960 with at least three coats a day, papi. 367 00:14:20,010 --> 00:14:22,050 Jim, nobody's perfect. 368 00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:23,970 That's why step 10 has us continually taking -- 369 00:14:24,010 --> 00:14:26,790 You're addicted to the 12 steps! You understand that? 370 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:28,840 Course I am, you arrogant prick. 371 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,320 That's how they work. 372 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:31,360 [Scoffs] 373 00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:32,890 Raj, hi. Raj. 374 00:14:32,930 --> 00:14:34,370 He's so desperate 375 00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:36,940 to please every, single person that he meets 376 00:14:36,980 --> 00:14:38,630 that despite being a very polite man, 377 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,720 he just flipped me off at my own intervention 378 00:14:40,770 --> 00:14:42,940 because he thought that I might find it amusing. 379 00:14:42,990 --> 00:14:44,250 But you did like it, though, right? 380 00:14:44,290 --> 00:14:45,640 Yeah, it was great. 381 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,510 Joe Buck, if he were here, I would tell him 382 00:14:47,550 --> 00:14:49,950 that he has to say yes to every single gig that he is offered 383 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,910 because God forbid the man should be alone 384 00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:53,600 with his own thoughts for a second and a half. 385 00:14:53,650 --> 00:14:56,300 But instead of attending, he's off proving that point 386 00:14:56,350 --> 00:15:00,520 by calling women's senior golf for Fox Sports Online! 387 00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:03,830 And Charles, God damn it, let's not forget how you -- 388 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,400 Hey! Hey! Hello?! -- 389 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:06,970 how you betrayed me 390 00:15:07,010 --> 00:15:10,140 by leaving to do this podcast thing of yours. 391 00:15:10,190 --> 00:15:12,880 which, you know, I gotta tell ya.. 392 00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:19,890 [Sighing] 393 00:15:19,940 --> 00:15:21,550 ...is a smart play. 394 00:15:21,590 --> 00:15:23,030 Good for you. Seriously. 395 00:15:23,070 --> 00:15:24,980 It breaks this destructive pattern you're in 396 00:15:25,030 --> 00:15:26,990 of putting everybody's needs in front of your own, 397 00:15:27,030 --> 00:15:28,730 especially mine, okay? 398 00:15:28,770 --> 00:15:30,380 I guess unlike everybody else 399 00:15:30,420 --> 00:15:32,690 in this little circle of adult dysfunction, 400 00:15:32,730 --> 00:15:34,170 you seem to be actually growing, 401 00:15:34,210 --> 00:15:35,990 so go ahead, say your thing, 402 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:39,480 then, you know, we can all order a drink before happy hour ends. 403 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,350 [Inhales deeply] 404 00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:43,090 [Sighs] 405 00:15:46,830 --> 00:15:47,790 Okay, come o-- 406 00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:49,010 Charles?[Door opens] 407 00:15:49,050 --> 00:15:50,360 Don't do that. [Sighs] 408 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:51,880 [Door closes]You happy? 409 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,270 No, I hope you're happy. You mad Charles sad! 410 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,540 Great. 411 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:57,280 Had to have an intervention for Jim. 412 00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,500 God damn it. 413 00:16:05,330 --> 00:16:07,110 I mean, the best part 414 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:08,550 is that I get to work with Bob Uecker. 415 00:16:08,590 --> 00:16:10,120 I mean, I don't know much about baseball, 416 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:11,510 but I can tell you this. 417 00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:14,160 I do know who the dad from "Mr. Belvedere" is. 418 00:16:14,210 --> 00:16:15,690 I mean, this dude is like the original 419 00:16:15,730 --> 00:16:17,640 sports-entertainment crossover star. 420 00:16:17,690 --> 00:16:20,000 He was Strahan before Strahan. 421 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,210 Did you know that Uribe -- 422 00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:24,430 I spent my best years in Milwaukee? 423 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:25,480 Word? Mm. 424 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,130 Well, what's it like?Mm. 425 00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:29,570 The whole town smells like beer farts, man. 426 00:16:29,610 --> 00:16:32,700 Sometimes, I have to learn that not all boundaries are bad. 427 00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:34,570 Maybe Jim's right. 428 00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:36,790 [Scoffs]Maybe I do have a problem. 429 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,010 That is the worst thing about Jim. 430 00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,890 He's always a little bit right. 431 00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:43,450 He knows just what to say to make you question yourself, 432 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:47,150 but also, try keeping your cooch in your pants 433 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,680 just a few days a week.[Door opens] 434 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,330 See what happens. 435 00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:54,860 Oh! You're late. 436 00:16:56,510 --> 00:16:58,160 I had to get a ride from my dad. 437 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:01,690 Charles. 438 00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:04,170 Hey! Come on, Charles. 439 00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:07,040 What, are you mad I stopped and got a roadie? Come on. 440 00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:08,350 'Cause I'm what's known as a -- 441 00:17:08,390 --> 00:17:10,260 I'm a functional alcoholic.Really? 442 00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:11,260 Yeah. 443 00:17:11,310 --> 00:17:12,660 Yeah, really? 444 00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:14,270 What's your function? 445 00:17:14,310 --> 00:17:16,010 I-I -- 446 00:17:16,050 --> 00:17:17,790 Because it used to be calling games for the Major Leagues, 447 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,270 but that's gone now. 448 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,880 You used to get sober enough to call games, 449 00:17:20,930 --> 00:17:22,710 and now there's nothing to slow you down. 450 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,150 What about a podcast, huh? 451 00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:25,500 Now, I know we were very angry with each other 452 00:17:25,540 --> 00:17:27,110 when I got back from Atlanta, 453 00:17:27,150 --> 00:17:28,890 but there's no reason for us to stop that thing, Charles. 454 00:17:28,930 --> 00:17:31,020 We got a good thing going there. 455 00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:33,020 We can use it as a platform 456 00:17:33,070 --> 00:17:36,200 to launch a new, um, network dealy. 457 00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:39,510 That is the logical thing to do, yes. 458 00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:43,860 And I will do it... if you do this. 459 00:17:44,950 --> 00:17:48,080 "Sobertunities Clean Leaving Center"? 460 00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:50,040 I've already set everything up. All you have to do is call. 461 00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:51,170 Oh, God, Ch-- 462 00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:52,700 Friends don't hand friends cards 463 00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:54,520 to horribly named rehab facilities, okay? 464 00:17:54,570 --> 00:17:58,660 Actually, that is exactly what friends do, okay? 465 00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:01,180 I can't make you call them. I know that. 466 00:18:01,230 --> 00:18:03,100 But if you don't call, 467 00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:05,580 I'm never speaking to you again. 468 00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:07,490 Aw, come on. What are you, serious with this shit? 469 00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:09,500 Yes, I am. Okay? 470 00:18:09,540 --> 00:18:13,760 Goodbye, podcast. Goodbye, you and me, forever. 471 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,980 Okay? 472 00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:18,200 That is, unless you get sober. 473 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:19,680 Unless I get sober. Yeah. 474 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,200 And it's -- Part of it's my fault. I know that. 475 00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:22,470 I've been enabling you. 476 00:18:22,510 --> 00:18:24,210 We have a codependent relationship. 477 00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:26,510 [Groans] Where'd you pick up language like that, God damn it? 478 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,170 I went to a few Al-Anon meetings. 479 00:18:28,210 --> 00:18:29,950 Oh, no, you didn't, Charles. 480 00:18:29,990 --> 00:18:31,600 The only thing worse than the program 481 00:18:31,650 --> 00:18:33,650 is the program about the program, okay? 482 00:18:33,690 --> 00:18:35,650 And there's nothing wrong with codependency, alright? 483 00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:38,260 It just lets you and me work through my problems together. 484 00:18:38,310 --> 00:18:40,180 Quit dicking around! 485 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,570 Jim. 486 00:18:42,620 --> 00:18:45,100 If you don't stop drinking, you are going to die. 487 00:18:45,140 --> 00:18:47,230 [Sighs, snores]Just stop. Plea-- 488 00:18:47,270 --> 00:18:48,880 Why won't you stop?! 489 00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:50,620 Why is this such a problem for you?! 490 00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:54,240 People only like me when I am drunk, Charles, okay? 491 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,630 You know it's true. 492 00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:57,460 You did the focus testing. 493 00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:58,850 It's science, right? 494 00:18:58,890 --> 00:19:00,200 Yes, alright. 495 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,500 Everything bad in my life happened 496 00:19:01,550 --> 00:19:03,110 because of my drinking -- Okay. 497 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,860 Also, everything good in my life, alright? 498 00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:07,810 First game I ever called in Kansas City, 499 00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:10,640 had to do four shots of whiskey to calm my nerves, alright? 500 00:19:10,690 --> 00:19:13,430 I was blackout drunk for George Brett's 3,000th hit. 501 00:19:13,470 --> 00:19:15,610 They still play that call at the Baseball Hall of Fame. 502 00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:18,430 Jules, she's the love of my life, right? 503 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,130 That relationship was built on drinking! 504 00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:22,870 Okay, I don't know who the hell I would be 505 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:23,870 if I was sober, Charles. 506 00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,220 But I do know nobody would 507 00:19:25,270 --> 00:19:27,660 give a shit about that guy, whoever he is. 508 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,010 I would. 509 00:19:30,050 --> 00:19:31,360 [Sighs] 510 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:32,580 And I hope one day I get to meet him. 511 00:19:32,620 --> 00:19:37,630 But, until then, goodbye, Jim. 512 00:19:37,670 --> 00:19:38,800 "Goodbye, Jim." 513 00:19:38,850 --> 00:19:40,760 Okay, well, fuck you, Charles. 514 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,420 Okay? My back was sore from carrying you around, anyway. 515 00:19:43,460 --> 00:19:44,630 And you know what?! 516 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,460 Your parents were right about you! 517 00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:48,380 You are a very selfish young man, 518 00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:51,900 and you are destined to fail with that attitude! 519 00:19:51,950 --> 00:19:55,470 Go on! Get out of here! 520 00:19:55,510 --> 00:19:57,340 Brush you off like dandruff! 521 00:19:57,390 --> 00:20:00,950 [Horn honks in distance] 522 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,090 [Sighs] Oh, shit. 523 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,570 [Scoffs] 524 00:20:10,620 --> 00:20:12,580 [Sighs] 525 00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:19,410 Unbelievable. 526 00:20:21,670 --> 00:20:23,370 Yeah, this is Jim Brockmire. 527 00:20:23,410 --> 00:20:26,630 Um, I'm ready to, uh... 528 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:30,680 Well, where am I supposed to go? 529 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,420 Your -- Your card doesn't have an address on it. 530 00:20:33,470 --> 00:20:35,420 [Crow caws] 531 00:20:35,470 --> 00:20:42,470 ♪♪ 532 00:20:42,910 --> 00:20:49,920 ♪♪ 533 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,830 Hello? 534 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,790 Woman: Hello again! 535 00:20:53,830 --> 00:20:56,310 I wasn't sure you'd call. 536 00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:58,100 Well, when everybody around you 537 00:20:58,140 --> 00:20:59,490 is telling you to hit the brakes, 538 00:20:59,540 --> 00:21:01,100 you kind of want to be with somebody 539 00:21:01,150 --> 00:21:02,800 who sees nothing but green lights. 540 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:03,930 [Chuckles] 541 00:21:03,970 --> 00:21:05,580 ♪♪ 542 00:21:05,630 --> 00:21:07,720 [Lighter clicks] 543 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,420 -[Exhales] You want a turn? 544 00:21:10,460 --> 00:21:13,550 -Oh, right now, this is exactly what I want. 545 00:21:13,590 --> 00:21:17,640 ♪♪ 546 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,640 [Lighter clicks] 547 00:21:19,690 --> 00:21:23,250 ♪♪ 548 00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:26,130 [Smacks lips] 549 00:21:26,170 --> 00:21:27,950 Is this crack or meth?