1 00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:11,245 Walk this way to see the finest freaks in the world today. 2 00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:15,716 ** 3 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:19,220 Step right up, everybody! Step right up! 4 00:00:19,253 --> 00:00:24,758 Find the pea under the coconut shells and win a prize! 5 00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:27,161 It could be a bible! 6 00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:29,397 Or a new husk of corn! 7 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:31,399 Step right up! 8 00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:33,701 No! No! No gambling! 9 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:34,735 Not here. 10 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,337 This is Willard's Mill. 11 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,072 We are a God-fearing town. 12 00:00:38,106 --> 00:00:40,574 Constable, sir, I assure you that there's 13 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:42,310 no money changing hands. 14 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:46,280 This is a game of skill, not of chance. 15 00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:48,249 Watch closely. 16 00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:54,755 Follow my hand and show me where...the pea... 17 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:59,127 is hidden. You might just win a prize. 18 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,728 [Scoffs] 19 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:04,398 You've aroused my curiosity, gypsy swindler. 20 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:05,433 That one. 21 00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:07,101 This one? Yes. 22 00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,569 Certain? Yes, of course. 23 00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,371 It's right there. 24 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,706 Oh! [Laughs] 25 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,842 Bless the holy spirit! [Sighs] 26 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,544 I was correct! 27 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,579 I believe that husk of corn is mine. 28 00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,348 Yes. 29 00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:24,452 Oh, this is quite the husk. I like this game. 30 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:27,488 Well, perhaps, we should make it more interesting? 31 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:28,522 Impossible! 32 00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,324 [Both laugh] 33 00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:32,560 I will hide the pea again, 34 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:35,196 should you find it... 35 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:40,268 you may take... all of my wares. 36 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:46,240 But, should you fail, you must take... 37 00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:51,145 your own life. 38 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:54,148 [Both laugh] 39 00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:57,151 A dark jest! 40 00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:59,387 Okay, one more time. 41 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:06,427 ** 42 00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:11,599 [Chuckles] 43 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:18,639 ** 44 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:23,244 Uh, that's, uh -- 45 00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:26,247 pardon my language, sir -- 46 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,517 applesauce! 47 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:34,555 I believe you owe me your life, Constable. 48 00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:40,661 Now you can use your own gun or one of these fine daggers. 49 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:46,934 ** 50 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:50,338 [Groaning] 51 00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:52,673 A bet's a bet, Constable. 52 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:57,711 ** 53 00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:01,215 Indeed, sir, a bet's a bet. 54 00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:02,883 A bet's a bet. 55 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,218 [Gunshot] 56 00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:11,259 ** 57 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:20,901 ** 58 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:26,507 ** 59 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,343 [Squelch] 60 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,479 Oh, cripes. 61 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,347 It's like pudding. 62 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:36,617 Denise! I think the tub is leaking. 63 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,986 Denise: That's weird. So is my waterbed. 64 00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:42,022 Your what? 65 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,657 You don't have a waterbed. 66 00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:46,827 Oh, I do now! 67 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,829 I emptied my bean bag chair, 68 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,465 then I took the hose, and I -- 69 00:03:51,499 --> 00:03:52,766 [Doorbell rings] 70 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,802 Sweetheart, go ahead and get the door. 71 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,605 Step outside, I'll lock it, and then everything will be great. 72 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,809 [Door opens] Denise: Hi. 73 00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,577 Huh? 74 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:06,280 Oh, great. It's the other one. What do you want? 75 00:04:06,314 --> 00:04:08,482 Oh, it's nice to see you, too. 76 00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:09,917 It's girls' night. Denise and I are watching 77 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,952 the season finale of "The Fiancé." 78 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,655 That's how you damn-sure know marriage is sacred. 79 00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,590 They give it away as a prize on a game show. 80 00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,626 Okay, it is about single women 81 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,428 trying to find that special someone. 82 00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,663 Oh. They should call it the "Evie Barret Story." 83 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:23,964 [Laughs] That's so cute. 84 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:24,932 You know, they could name it after you, 85 00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,034 but there's already a show called "Jackass." 86 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:29,770 [Chuckles] Up top. Not -- Not now. 87 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:33,341 I'm serious, Evie. Instead of watching all those whores 88 00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,376 going out and trying to get themselves a husband, 89 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,511 you could slap on a little lipstick 90 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:38,579 and go get one yourself. 91 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,748 Oh, yeah? Then what? 92 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,317 Then, well, then you'd have to 93 00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:44,985 go through all that bullshit. 94 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:48,956 So, yeah. Pretty much got me there. 95 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:51,459 It is all pointless, isn't it? 96 00:04:51,492 --> 00:04:52,993 I'm going to a bar. 97 00:04:55,563 --> 00:05:01,502 ** 98 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:04,071 Man: Who will "The Fiancé" send home? 99 00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:06,039 Oh, Jesus. 100 00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:10,411 Will it be Jennifer M., who teaches CPR to the blind, 101 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:15,883 or Jennifer S., the amputee with the voice of an angel? 102 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:20,721 Might I... propose a toast, friend? 103 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,990 Glory hole's in the bathroom there, Liberace. 104 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,124 Glory what now? 105 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,593 Nothing. Nothing. 106 00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:26,894 Okay. Go ahead. 107 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:28,796 I thank you. 108 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:33,967 I propose a wager that you... 109 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:39,373 cannot... remove that dollar 110 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:40,908 without touching the bottle 111 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:47,047 or knocking it over. 112 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:50,618 Yay. More beer. Two. 113 00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:54,955 I'll bet you you can't drink that in silence. 114 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:59,493 * And I won't walk away * 115 00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:02,896 [Cheers and applause] 116 00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:05,899 Ugh. I knew Jennifer T. wasn't gonna make it. 117 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:08,436 I get really strong lesbian vibes from her. 118 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,170 Mm. I get the same vibes 119 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:14,542 from the woman at the bank who's a lesbian. 120 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,610 God, why does this show have to end? 121 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:17,811 [Bell dings] Hot popcorn! 122 00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:19,146 Oh, I'll tell you what happens. 123 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:24,151 Two beautiful Jennifers stand before me! 124 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:26,620 ** 125 00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:31,492 But there's only one Evie. 126 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:37,297 Yes. 127 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,801 And I don't want anyone to stand in her way. 128 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:41,735 No. 129 00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:44,805 Not Jennifer M., not Jennifer S., 130 00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:49,076 and especially not...Denise. 131 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:51,912 No. 132 00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,981 Not Denise. 133 00:06:57,851 --> 00:07:02,222 Hmm? Hmm? 134 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,591 Ahh! 135 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:04,992 One beer. 136 00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:06,960 Drunk in silence. I win! 137 00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:08,562 [Chuckles] 138 00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:10,664 Bet you can't hold your breath till your heart stops. 139 00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:15,836 I'll wager you that the next patron will order 140 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:20,140 a whiskey and water and one of those eggs. 141 00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:21,875 No one's gonna order those eggs. 142 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:24,111 They're stored in that comb juice from the barbershop. 143 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:27,147 Barkeep? I'll have a whiskey and water and one of those eggs. 144 00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,483 [Laughs] 145 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:30,884 All right, laugh all you want, 146 00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,853 but in about four minutes, your ass is gonna open up 147 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,255 like that elevator in "The Shining." 148 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,925 ** 149 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,627 You'd think someone would've died 150 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,529 in a helicopter crash by now. 151 00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:44,532 They take helicopters everywhere. 152 00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:48,536 You really want to win this, don't you? 153 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,103 Huh? 154 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,272 Why are you wearing makeup? 155 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:56,176 I'm not wearing makeup. 156 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:59,513 I was wearing makeup, but now it's gone. 157 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:01,515 Did you take it off my face? 158 00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:03,083 Get me some makeup! 159 00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:06,086 Okay. I think my mom used to have some upstairs. 160 00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,988 [Laughs] Yeah, that's just what I need. 161 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,256 A dead woman's makeup. 162 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,191 Okay, I think I have some, too. 163 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,960 Get me some! Okay. 164 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,797 I need a living woman's makeup! 165 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:20,000 Mommy needs makeup! 166 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,169 [Sighs] 167 00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:28,275 I'm gonna be so pretty. 168 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,077 Mmm. Mm-hmm. 169 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:34,114 Ohh! 170 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,717 You, uh -- You aren't human, are you? 171 00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:38,185 [Laughs] 172 00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:39,853 What gave it away? 173 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,690 So, what, are you, a scary ghost, you a demon? 174 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:43,791 What are you? 175 00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,092 More or less. 176 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,694 Oh, stop, stop, stop. For the love of God. 177 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,662 I'll throw up. Enough. But -- 178 00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,864 Let me -- Let me go ahead and ask you a question 179 00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:53,100 since we're being all friendly-like. 180 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:56,036 Are you, uh -- Are you at all familiar 181 00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,171 with a guy named Gerard Duquette? 182 00:08:58,205 --> 00:08:59,740 No. Fair enough. 183 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:02,142 How about Thaddeus Eccles? 184 00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,344 He was the old constable who burned all the witches in -- 185 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,046 ** 186 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,982 Yes. I know him. Very well. 187 00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:10,183 Terrific. 188 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,319 Because Thaddeus Eccles' daughter told me 189 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:15,222 that I got to find this guy, Gerard Duquette. 190 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,925 In fact, she buried this note 191 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,093 and these eyeballs for me in a jar. 192 00:09:20,127 --> 00:09:21,028 [Whistles] Hey, Butch? 193 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,663 Yes? 194 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,065 All right. 195 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,000 Let me guess. 196 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,936 You're a witch who was burned in 1692, 197 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:31,138 and you've come back here to kill me. 198 00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,706 More or less. 199 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,875 Great. That's what you're doing. 200 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,712 I -- I got to figure out how to use these eyeballs 201 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:41,615 to travel back a year to save my wife's life, 202 00:09:41,649 --> 00:09:43,717 and the only way I'm gonna be able to do that 203 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,686 is if I find this guy, Gerard Duquette. 204 00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:46,954 I'm sorry, I can't help you, 205 00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:50,691 because the fact is I'm not a witch. 206 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,994 I was a fortune teller. 207 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,630 I was a con man. 208 00:09:56,664 --> 00:10:01,301 My witches brew is just two ingredients, 209 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:05,205 showmanship and... 210 00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:06,974 pizzazz! 211 00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:08,375 Want me to go check the jukebox 212 00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,778 and see if there's any Judy Garland on there for you? 213 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:14,715 [Sighs] I want to make this fair. 214 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,684 I want to make this fun! 215 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:22,122 So, before I kill you, I'm going to give you a head start. 216 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:25,993 So...go. 217 00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,762 Go? Leave. 218 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:30,731 Go. 219 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:37,771 ** 220 00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:43,376 Showmanship. 221 00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:46,146 And now... 222 00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:49,883 pizzazz. 223 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:52,085 Oh, this is great. 224 00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:54,788 'Cause nothing bad ever happens deep out in the woods, huh? 225 00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:59,126 And who would know better than you? 226 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,961 Oh, there you are. 227 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:04,231 And there you go. 228 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,199 Why? 229 00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:07,400 Why are you doing this? 230 00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:10,137 Oh, come on, Stanley. 231 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,439 You're going to die because you're a sheriff. 232 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:16,109 And this is the reason why you became sheriff. 233 00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:18,378 Now let me ask you something. 234 00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,982 What were doing in the woods all by yourself? 235 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:25,252 ** 236 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:29,456 I was on my way to the lake. 237 00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:31,424 And I saw this guy on the ground. 238 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:36,429 [Man groaning] 239 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:39,900 I guess he was fishing, and he had a heart attack or something, 240 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:41,234 so I went over to him. 241 00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:45,839 ** 242 00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:48,809 I had never seen somebody so terrified. 243 00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,244 I told him, "I'll go and get you some help," 244 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:54,414 but before I could run off, he grabbed my leg, 245 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:57,985 and he was one of those guys who had the iron grip. 246 00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,187 All the while, he's pulling on my leg, 247 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,422 and I'm thinking, "This guy's dying. 248 00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:05,926 And he's damn-sure trying to take me with him." 249 00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,528 And that's when I got mad. 250 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:11,264 And I just started to kick the living shit 251 00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:12,933 out of this dying guy. 252 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:14,835 He still didn't let go. 253 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,540 Until finally. 254 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,977 And then his eyes kind of bugged out. 255 00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:26,113 And then it was over. 256 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,981 And I remember, it was right then and there 257 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:31,351 I decided I wanted to be a cop. 258 00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:35,255 Why didn't you decide to become a doctor? 259 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,791 [Chuckling] Why the hell would somebody want to be a doctor? 260 00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:41,494 No, no, no, no, no, no. 261 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:44,431 I enjoyed kicking the shit outta that guy. 262 00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:46,266 I love guns, and I love telling people what to do. 263 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,435 Hell, it was a match made in heaven. 264 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:51,271 Still. 265 00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:56,409 You must have been... terrified. 266 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:59,279 Eh, I guess you don't go around kicking people in the head 267 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,882 if you're in a great mood. 268 00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:05,018 Although, that's not entirely true, either. 269 00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:08,421 Now my most terrifying moment 270 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:12,926 was when your predecessor, 271 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:17,297 Constable Eccles, had me burned alive at the stake. 272 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,266 Man: No!! 273 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:22,302 That wasn't me. You know that, right? Well, yes, I know that. 274 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,104 Or Evie. Yes. 275 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,306 Sometimes you gotta just let that shit go there, Jazz Hands. 276 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:29,042 Listen. The fact that the both of you 277 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:32,479 are still alive is quite vexing. 278 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:35,148 You know what he did? 279 00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:38,285 As my body burned, 280 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:44,157 he just... stood there 281 00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,225 and watched. 282 00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:46,126 ** 283 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,161 Hey! 284 00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:49,496 Hey! No! 285 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:50,630 No! Hey! 286 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:53,566 No! Hey! No! 287 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,302 No! No! 288 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:59,206 Can you imagine how awful that felt? 289 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:01,875 To die horribly while someone 290 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:04,377 just stood there and watched? 291 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,613 No! No! No! 292 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:11,484 [Laughs] 293 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:15,222 We are nearing our final decision, Evie. 294 00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:17,524 Are you ready? 295 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,092 Yes. 296 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:20,627 I have a gift for you, Evie. 297 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:21,428 [Gasps] 298 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:24,464 It's beside you on the couch. 299 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:27,600 Will you accept it? 300 00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:29,970 I will! I will accept it! 301 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,338 Open it. 302 00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,107 ** 303 00:14:34,141 --> 00:14:38,211 Ooh! 304 00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:41,314 For me? 305 00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:43,917 It's beautiful! 306 00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:46,386 Yes, Evie. 307 00:14:46,419 --> 00:14:48,455 Just for you. 308 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,924 You won't regret this. 309 00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:52,459 [Laughs] 310 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:58,065 Man: I have to admit, Evie, 311 00:14:58,098 --> 00:15:01,001 that there's something that's been bothering me. 312 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,103 Well, what is it? 313 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,072 You can tell me anything. 314 00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,074 I truly feel connected to you. 315 00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:11,378 Well, I... probably shouldn't say this, 316 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:15,949 but Denise told me 317 00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:19,019 she doesn't think you're here for the right reasons. 318 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:22,655 [Indistinct voices] She what? 319 00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:25,158 [Whistling] 320 00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:27,360 It's okay. It's all good. 321 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,196 No, I got it. I got it. I'm good here. 322 00:15:29,229 --> 00:15:34,234 You know, I have an idea for a sparkling wager. 323 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:37,337 Christ. I'll crawl right back in the goddamn hole. 324 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:40,540 I'll wager you that if we go to your house right now, 325 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:43,610 someone you love will have been murdered, 326 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,712 by someone else that you love. 327 00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:49,382 And then you -- that you'll be so enraged, 328 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:52,652 that you'll murder them. 329 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,087 What if you lose? 330 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:57,124 [Laughs] Oh, I'm not going to lose. 331 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,426 Oh, look. 332 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,495 The death card. 333 00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:04,031 Just for you. 334 00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:07,667 ** 335 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:10,437 When there's a crazy person in your house, 336 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,172 you call the cops. 337 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:15,108 But the crazy person in my house is the cops. 338 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:17,144 Oh, my God. 339 00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:20,080 Oh, my God. That sounds like a -- a rap song. 340 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:22,782 [Beatboxing poorly] 341 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,118 [Rapping] * There's a crazy person in my house, yeah, yeah, yeah * 342 00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:26,619 ["Shave and a Haircut" knock on door] 343 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:31,791 ** 344 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,660 Hi! One-man panty raid! 345 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,195 Sure is. [Laughs] 346 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,663 What? 347 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,298 Oh, I was just -- I was watching at home alone. 348 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,799 I was wondering if I could crash your girls' night? 349 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,669 Actually, I don't think you want to. 350 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,305 Jennifer M. arrived dressed as a banana. 351 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,506 Somebody came to win. [Chuckles] 352 00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:48,741 Oh, somebody came to win, all right. 353 00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:49,809 Kinky. 354 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:50,710 I thought girls' night 355 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:53,146 would be more of a pillow-fight situation. 356 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,281 You know, a little bird told me 357 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,816 you've been trying to sabotage my fairy-tale ending. 358 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,486 Evie, I don't know what you're talking about. 359 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,653 We're friends. 360 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:04,157 I didn't come here to make friends! 361 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:06,326 Mother-fudge! 362 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,628 ** 363 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:11,098 [Screams high-pitched] 364 00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:16,536 ** 365 00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:17,604 Does that even work?! 366 00:17:17,637 --> 00:17:19,506 No. Now what?! 367 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:22,309 I don't know. I don't even know what's wrong with her! 368 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,077 Denise? 369 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:25,812 Open up 370 00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,780 I've forgiven you! 371 00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,082 No! 372 00:17:29,116 --> 00:17:30,683 I want... 373 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,585 to be... 374 00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,221 your friend! 375 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:36,156 [Screams] 376 00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:37,857 Denise? 377 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,859 ** 378 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,528 Hello? 379 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:46,166 ** 380 00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,235 Where are you hiding, buddy? 381 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:53,106 ** 382 00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:55,342 Denise? 383 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:59,579 Open up for your best friend... 384 00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,314 ...Death! 385 00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:04,817 ** 386 00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:07,554 Ohhhh! 387 00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,159 Dad! I can't talk! 388 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,127 Evie has gone insane! 389 00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:17,164 Oh, my God. It's The Fiance! 390 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:19,166 I love your show. 391 00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,168 No spoilers! Haven't seen the end yet! 392 00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,470 Why is everyone still alive? 393 00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:24,904 Sweetheart? 394 00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,506 Oh! 395 00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:28,441 Thank you so much for my engagement knife! 396 00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:29,542 Oh, yes. 397 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:32,312 I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together. 398 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:35,815 Yes, me, too...but [whispering] there's still that other woman. 399 00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,184 [Hisses] 400 00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,785 Now, now, now, wait a minute. 401 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,353 You lost the bet. 402 00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:43,890 You said when we got back here someone would be dead. 403 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,458 Ya lost. 404 00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,394 All right, fine. 405 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:48,828 You won. 406 00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,863 But it was still a good plan. 407 00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,233 Evie would kill Denise, then you would kill Evie, 408 00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:55,302 and then, in your grief, you'd take your own life. 409 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,770 I could have just killed you, but no! 410 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,472 I had to do something clever. 411 00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,941 Something special. And what did it get me? 412 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,244 You know where you went wrong? 413 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:06,379 Women. They take too long to do everything. 414 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,448 Hell, they take an hour to be back in five minutes. 415 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:11,451 Yeah, well, pobody's nerfect. [Chuckles] 416 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:14,887 Well, hey, I won. 417 00:19:14,921 --> 00:19:17,190 [Chuckling] What do I get? 418 00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:20,860 You get to die the old-fashioned way! 419 00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:23,530 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 420 00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,232 I got one more wager for ya. 421 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:30,503 ** 422 00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:31,838 I'm listening. 423 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:34,241 I think you're really gonna like it. 424 00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,847 So, what are you proposing? 425 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,749 Okay. 426 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:46,286 Heads, I kill Evie, you kill me. 427 00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:48,821 Tails, Evie kills me, you kill Evie 428 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,791 and, uh, and Leon if you want to. 429 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,059 Hey! 430 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:57,897 But, if it doesn't come down heads or tails, we all go free, 431 00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,999 and you gotta take your own life. 432 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,601 What do ya say? 433 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:04,003 [Laughs] 434 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,939 [Both laughing] 435 00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:10,377 You're swinging for the fences! 436 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,778 I love it! [Laughs] 437 00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,946 [Sniffs] What's that smell? 438 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:17,417 Well, it's me saying, "Yes!" 439 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:20,520 [Laughs] 440 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:25,992 3...2...1. 441 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:28,761 ** 442 00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:30,863 [Laughs] 443 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,632 No!! 444 00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:35,735 [Crunching] 445 00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:39,606 You...tricked me! 446 00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:41,674 A bet's a bet, baby. 447 00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:46,946 No! No! No! 448 00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:50,283 You're just gonna stand there and watch?! 449 00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:52,652 Actually, I'm gonna go catch the end of "Sports Center." 450 00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:53,820 All the best. 451 00:20:53,853 --> 00:20:56,656 [Wheezing] 452 00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,791 Pizzazz! 453 00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:00,593 [Coughing] 454 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:08,635 Well, this girl night was a bust. 455 00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,337 Same time next week? 456 00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:17,710 ...which is why Jennifer L. -- What the fu-- 457 00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:21,614 You're probably wondering what happened. 458 00:21:21,648 --> 00:21:23,450 Yeah. 459 00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:28,355 Or...we could make fried chicken.