1
00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:03,571
Previously
on "Stan Against Evil."

2
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,439
What is that thing growing
up by the station?

3
00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:08,142
When the first flowers bloom,
the portal will open,

4
00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:09,410
and the Land of the Dead

5
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:11,312
shall corrupt
the Land of the Living

6
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,746
for time without end.

7
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:14,748
Should we get
a new map now?

8
00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:17,485
Constable Eccles
was the only witch.

9
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,587
Did you ever think
that it might be possible

10
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,389
to save the life
of someone you lost?

11
00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,157
Stan: I can go back
and save Claire.

12
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:25,493
I got to figure out
how to travel back a year

13
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:26,560
to save my wife,

14
00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:28,396
and the only way I'm going
to be able to do that

15
00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:30,598
is if I find this guy,
Gerard DuQuette.

16
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:33,267
**

17
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:37,738
[Chickens clucking]
[Cow mooing]

18
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:40,741
**

19
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:46,647
[Animals lowing]

20
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,450
She has much milk in her
this morning.

21
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:50,718
When I think
of how much money

22
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:52,653
this milk will fetch
at market,

23
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,388
it's as if her teats
were full of diamonds.

24
00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:56,524
**

25
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,360
I know if my manly bosom
could produce diamonds,

26
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,295
I would fill bucket
after bucket.

27
00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:03,097
[Milk trickles]

28
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:07,268
Of precious,
precious man-boob diamonds.

29
00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:10,238
[Clang, splatter]
[Rooster crows]

30
00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:12,240
[Screaming]

31
00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:16,344
[Discordant music plays]

32
00:01:16,377 --> 00:01:18,512
[Demonic voice]
You're out of milk.

33
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:19,847
[Screams]

34
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,316
[Laughs]

35
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:29,357
**

36
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,906
[Tires screech]

37
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,509
[Gear shifts]

38
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,684
[Knocking]

39
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:02,256
[Grunts]

40
00:02:04,425 --> 00:02:05,559
Let's do this.

41
00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:08,162
[Door closes]

42
00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:10,298
These, uh...

43
00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:12,600
These are the eyeballs
of that thing.

44
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,935
It came up out of Evie's grave
and tried to kill us.

45
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,671
[Explosion]

46
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:21,442
Looked like a big pile of crap
covered in bullshit.

47
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,177
[Shrieks]

48
00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:24,778
Oh, I remember, Sheriff.

49
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:25,846
The Wraith?

50
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:28,282
[Shrieking, growls]

51
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:30,584
Why do you want
to go into the past?

52
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:33,521
Not that I consider you
particularly "modern."

53
00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,189
Oh, you got that right,
buster.

54
00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:37,625
This country ain't been the same
since Evel Knievel died.

55
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,560
Here's
the bottom line --

56
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:43,197
I got to back to last year
and save my wife's life.

57
00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:43,864
No!

58
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:45,199
No!
No!

59
00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:46,700
Absolutely not,
Mr. Miller.

60
00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:48,269
-See?
-I...

61
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:51,505
Evel Knievel.
They told him no, too.

62
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:53,941
You can't jump
over Caesar's Palace.

63
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,108
He did.

64
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:57,545
You can't jump over
13 double-decker busses.
[Sighs]

65
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:58,879
He did.

66
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:01,549
You can't jump over
Snake River Canyon,

67
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:02,750
and he damn sure did.

68
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:03,817
No, he didn't.

69
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,553
He crashed every one
of those times.

70
00:03:05,586 --> 00:03:07,988
But he tried.
He tried like a man.

71
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,824
A man in a skin-tight
leather jumpsuit

72
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:14,362
with a beautiful cape,
good hair, a helmet, and...

73
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:18,232
I've gotten off-topic.

74
00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:19,667
Listen to me.

75
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:22,770
I got to find this guy,
Gerard DuQuette.

76
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:23,771
So?

77
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,406
So...

78
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:26,774
That's where
you come in.

79
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,776
He's been dead
for 400 years.

80
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:34,648
He's some kind of black magic,
sorcery assface.

81
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:35,916
[Sighs]

82
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:39,420
Won't you do it
for Claire?

83
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,622
Please?

84
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,460
[Exhales softly]

85
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,296
[Sniffing]

86
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,530
The hell is that?

87
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:53,000
Sage.
It purifies the room.

88
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:55,869
Smells like a pregnant raccoon
died in your chimney.

89
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,374
Eh.

90
00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:01,675
[Thud]

91
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:05,879
From the Great Lady
and The Seven Winds,

92
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,382
I summon Charon,

93
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:12,353
blessed ferryman
of the river Styx.

94
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:19,393
We summon Gerard DuQuette,
denizen of the Otherworld.

95
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,496
Yeah.
What she said.

96
00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:24,732
[Fingers cracking]
[Grunts] Ow!

97
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,033
Nails.

98
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:34,041
Da Rakom, Ossun, Hekuba,
I summon thee all,

99
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:41,048
Da Rakom Ossun, Hekuba,
I summon thee all.

100
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,517
[Thudding]
[Gasps]

101
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:46,086
**

102
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,088
[Sighs]

103
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:51,425
**

104
00:04:51,459 --> 00:04:53,026
Now what?

105
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,396
Does the doorbell ring,
he pops out of a cake,

106
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,830
and gives me a nobjob?

107
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:59,767
[Scoffs]
I don't understand.

108
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,536
I -- I've had
weak responses before,

109
00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:04,104
but never just nothing.

110
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,439
Well...

111
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:06,874
Maybe he was
gonna show up,

112
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:10,344
but then he got a load
of that crap you burnt.

113
00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,045
I know
what I should have said.

114
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:15,516
It smells like somebody popped
a balloon full of clown farts.

115
00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:19,119
Worst...

116
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,522
Seance...

117
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:22,723
Ever.

118
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:23,991
[Light switch clicks]

119
00:05:28,028 --> 00:05:33,133
[Discordant music plays]

120
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,702
Man: Hellooo?

121
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:37,905
What?

122
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,740
Denise?

123
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,975
[Music continues]

124
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,611
Is that you?

125
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,579
I don't think so.

126
00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:50,050
[Sigh]

127
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:57,090
**

128
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,660
Are you...?

129
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:00,994
I am.

130
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:04,398
**

131
00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:05,633
Constance Eccles told me --

132
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:09,470
I know.

133
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,038
Why weren't you
at the seance?

134
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,840
I had a thing.

135
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,709
Lookit.

136
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:16,910
I got to figure out
how to --

137
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:19,680
How to use
the eyes of the Wraith

138
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,950
to travel back just one year
instead of 400

139
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:25,486
so that you can save
your dear wife's life.

140
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,788
Correct?
Exactly!

141
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,590
This is terrific.

142
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,058
How do I do it?

143
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,494
Do you like riddles?

144
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,529
No, I'm straight.

145
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,031
The first person
is your passage

146
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,468
on the time-travel
express.

147
00:06:40,501 --> 00:06:42,670
You can go
wherever they go,

148
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:45,038
on the day
they're laid to rest.

149
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:51,579
You have 24 hours
to solve the riddle.

150
00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:54,582
You fail, you die.

151
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,550
That's a little different
than the way they used to do it

152
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:57,751
in the Reader's Digest.

153
00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:01,221
Makes it fun for me.

154
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:08,462
**

155
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:13,634
24 hours.

156
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:16,470
Later, tater.

157
00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,138
**

158
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,973
Hey.

159
00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:23,243
**

160
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,745
How do I die?

161
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:29,917
**

162
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,085
[Exhales]

163
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:35,856
[Gruff voice] Maybe you'll
do something so horrible

164
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,526
that the people
of Willard's Mill

165
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:44,565
will band together
and kill you themselves.

166
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:47,901
[Laughing and clapping]

167
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:50,604
[Laughter echoing]

168
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:54,575
Oh, crap.

169
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:59,780
[Stan sighs]

170
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,616
**

171
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,885
Denise, honey,
you, uh...

172
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,253
You're good at pu--

173
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:07,821
[Growling softly]

174
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,923
...puzzles,
aren't you?

175
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:12,526
Oh, Leon called to say
"Thank you for the fudge."

176
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:13,927
I beg your pardon?

177
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:15,596
Apparently you went down
to the station this morning

178
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:16,897
and you brought him
some fudge.

179
00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:18,699
[Discordant note plays]

180
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,734
That...

181
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,035
wasn't me.

182
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:24,271
Are you sure
it wasn't you?

183
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,039
Why would I lie
about fudge?

184
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:29,643
Well, we've all made
a bad batch of fudge before

185
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,044
and we lied about it.

186
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,613
Shame Fudge is real,

187
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,915
but we don't let it
get us down.

188
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,950
We get back in the kitchen,
we roll up our sleeves,

189
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:39,720
and we try agaaain!

190
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:46,093
[Telephone ringing]

191
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:49,196
[Stan sighs]

192
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:51,699
[Ringing]
Oh, shit.

193
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:52,866
[Receiver slams]

194
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,702
Oh.

195
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:03,744
**

196
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,613
* Golly gee,
I can't believe you're mine *
Leon?

197
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:08,248
Leon!
[Clatter]

198
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:11,184
* And I'll have you
till the end of time *

199
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,953
What the hell
happened to you?

200
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,789
The fudge.

201
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,825
The fudge happened.

202
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:22,129
[Distorted] * I could only long
for your caress *

203
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,097
I don't know what
you put in it --

204
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:25,599
That wasn't me.

205
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,968
Oh, yes, it was!

206
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,369
**

207
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,204
Maybe you'll do
something so horrible

208
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,741
that the good people
of Willard's Mill will
kill you themselves.

209
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:37,244
* Golly gee,
I can't believe you're mine *

210
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,278
Leon.

211
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,647
[Distorted women's voices]

212
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,348
Wheeee!
What was in the fudge?

213
00:09:41,381 --> 00:09:44,084
Freedom!

214
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,253
* Yes, I'll have you
till the end of time *
For my mind.

215
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:47,387
[Giggling]

216
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,789
[Scoffs]

217
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,024
I only got 14 hours.
I got to go.

218
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,359
Wait!
[Gun cocks]

219
00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:54,227
-Oh, no!
-I got a better idea.

220
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,830
Why don't I kill you
and you go to Heaven

221
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:59,132
and you call me,
tell me what you see?

222
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:00,333
[Laughs]

223
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,302
I'm scared.

224
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,171
**

225
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,707
[Knocks rhythmically on door]

226
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,211
[Gruff voice]
Oh, hi.

227
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:15,115
Did you want to try
the seance again?

228
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,184
That sounds delish.

229
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:18,351
J'entre?

230
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:19,920
Sure.

231
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,722
Love the house.

232
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:24,958
You were just here
yesterday?

233
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,126
Oh, snap.

234
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:28,962
**

235
00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,230
[High-pitched voice]
Are you looking at my bum?

236
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,666
No, Leon.

237
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,234
Geranimo!
Leon.

238
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:35,936
**

239
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,738
[Giggles]

240
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,707
We're gonna need the others
if we're gonna --

241
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,810
I had a bucket
like this once.

242
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,945
Okay.
[Doorbell rings]

243
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,179
[Whispering]
Company!

244
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,281
[Giggles]

245
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,317
[Door opens]

246
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,786
Oh, hi, Gordy!

247
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:54,054
Hello.

248
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,689
Gordy the mailman?

249
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:58,158
You come in here,
you rascal.

250
00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,227
Well, hello, Stan.
Hi, Gordy.

251
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,896
What's -- What's that saying
you mailmen have?

252
00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,198
Neither snow nor rain --

253
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:07,300
Or sleet will stay
these couriers

254
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,202
from their
appointed rounds.

255
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:10,971
What about a bucket?

256
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,806
Uh, I'm sorry, what?

257
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,474
Would -- Would that
stay you

258
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,844
from -- from
your appointed rounds?

259
00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,045
A bucket?
[Clang]

260
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:20,447
-Ah!
-[Screams]

261
00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,750
[Lara screams]

262
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:25,318
[Giggles]
He's on the move.
[Clatter]

263
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,854
[Bucket clangs]
[Screams]

264
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,756
Come here, you scamp.

265
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:31,859
[Giggles]

266
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,060
[Thud, Lara screams]

267
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,127
**

268
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:37,430
"The first person."

269
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,867
The first person what?

270
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,969
Hey, pretty lady.

271
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:44,137
Look what I did.

272
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,740
My brain did this
with my mind.

273
00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:47,775
And my hand.

274
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,342
Leon,
I really got to go.

275
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,944
You can go
when Evie gets here.

276
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:52,145
When does
Evie get here?

277
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:54,481
Tomorrow.
Today's her day off.

278
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,149
I don't have
that kind of time.

279
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,450
[Chuckles]

280
00:11:57,484 --> 00:12:00,187
[Discordant music playing]
[Lara crying]

281
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,792
[Sniffles]

282
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:08,996
**

283
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,430
[Telephone rings]

284
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:11,464
Hello!

285
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,767
Sh-Sheriff Barret, please.

286
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:15,903
Call her at home.
She loves that.

287
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,905
**

288
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,774
I need you to draw
Eddie the Head on my back.

289
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:23,043
-I beg your pardon?
-Eddie the Head.

290
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,177
From Iron Maiden.

291
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,179
I know who
Eddie the Head is.

292
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,816
"Fear the Dark" much?

293
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,517
Let me see.

294
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,019
[Markers clack]

295
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,788
Oh, I think you're
really gonna like that.

296
00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:36,289
Thank you.
Yeah.

297
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:39,827
As true today as it was then.
[Chuckles]

298
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,830
[Telephone rings]

299
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:43,864
Yello?

300
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:48,268
[Person speaking gibberish]

301
00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:52,072
Hey.
What happened?

302
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,340
Gordy's dead.

303
00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:55,108
The mailman.

304
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:57,210
It was Stan.

305
00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:59,512
Gor-- Stan?!
What?

306
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,982
Something seemed off
at first.

307
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,451
He was just so happy
and friendly.

308
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:07,520
Oh, yeah, that definitely
does not sound like Stan.

309
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:08,989
God, I know.

310
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,557
And you're sure
it was Stan?

311
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,325
Yeah, it was him,
all right.

312
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:14,962
He left you a message.

313
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:21,068
[Discordant music plays]

314
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:25,238
Hutchy much.

315
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,509
[Sighs] So then, he came by,
like we had talked about.

316
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,344
He -- He was smiling,
very polite.

317
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:32,980
Yeah, see,
that's the thing.

318
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:34,247
I mean,
I can definitely imagine

319
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:35,615
Stan killing someone
with a bucket,

320
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,484
but this whole smiling,
polite thing?

321
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,052
I mean,
that does not track.

322
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:40,387
Mm.

323
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:44,057
Speaking of which,
where's the, uh, body?

324
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,293
Oh, that.
[Laughs]

325
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,561
Just get here, please.

326
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,430
Lara:
I had just hung up.
[Cellphone beeps]

327
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,532
Neither snow...

328
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,902
nor rain...
[Thud]

329
00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:57,905
...nor sleet
will stay...
Oh!

330
00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:00,140
So, you're saying
this guy was -- was dead,

331
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,341
and then he just --

332
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:02,509
Walked right through
this room

333
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,211
and right out
of that door.

334
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:07,247
What do you mean,
"Like we talked about"?

335
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,917
You said "Stan came by,
like we talked about."

336
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:12,986
Yeah. Stan came to me
to contact a spirit.

337
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:14,254
Stan?

338
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,123
Yeah, he wants
to travel back in time

339
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:18,525
to save his wife.

340
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,593
Oh, no.

341
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,462
No, no,
that's got to be so --

342
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,331
Dangerous?
I told him.

343
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:27,100
Look, we were trying to summon
the spirit of Gerard DuQuette,

344
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:30,403
a practitioner of Black Magik
from the 17th century.

345
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,405
Oh, that's a --
that's a great idea.

346
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:33,573
Summon an evil wizard!

347
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,608
But he didn't appear.

348
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:38,378
Are you sure?

349
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,413
Oh, my God,
that's Anti.

350
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:44,117
This guy is still out there,
and everybody thinks he's Stan.

351
00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:46,686
[Scoffs]

352
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,188
I can't believe

353
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,924
there's a worse version
of Stan out there.

354
00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:53,060
I didn't know
that was possible.

355
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,661
**

356
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:57,697
[Urinating]

357
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,399
Mm-mm!

358
00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:01,634
Sheriff?!

359
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,971
These heirloom tomatoes?

360
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,206
They are now!
[Laughs]

361
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,607
Martin!

362
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,443
Ahhh!
Oh!

363
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:14,447
[Funky music playing]

364
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:17,017
Stan: Put that thing down, Leon.
I got to go.

365
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,386
* Ain't no mistakin', there's
a lot of booties shakin' *
[Imitating gunshots]

366
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,588
* You can't stop 'em

367
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,423
Martin!
Sheriff Miller...

368
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,457
* No, no

369
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:25,492
What is it?

370
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,194
* Them bootie cheeks

371
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:29,296
* Got bitten by the beat

372
00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:31,264
* Now you can't stop 'em

373
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:33,066
Neither the rain...

374
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,102
nor snow...

375
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,570
nor...

376
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,306
[Glass shatters]
...sleet...

377
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,541
will keep these couriers...
* Well, well, well, well

378
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:44,111
...from their
appointed rounds...
* Can't stop
the bootie shakin' *

379
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,678
* Ha, ha, ha
Pshoo!

380
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:49,049
* Can't stop
the bootie shakin' *

381
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:50,183
* Hey, hey

382
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,019
[Telephone ringing]

383
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,353
* Can't stop

384
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:54,487
Yello?!

385
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:55,422
* The bootie
[Splat]

386
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,025
Oh!
Applesauce.

387
00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,759
[Thud]

388
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,461
Hello?

389
00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,330
Sheriff Miller did what
to your bird feeder?

390
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:04,597
[Telephone ringing]

391
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,434
Well, sweetheart,
love takes many forms.

392
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,169
Hello?

393
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,071
Sheriff Miller
climbed up on your roof

394
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:12,672
and took a dump down
your chimney?
[Ringing continues]

395
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,542
Well, don't start a fire.
Hang on.

396
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:16,776
Hello?

397
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,112
No, I don't want
to lower my credit score.

398
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:21,048
Eat a bag of dicks!
[Telephone rings]

399
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,082
Hello?

400
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,216
Evie:
Oh, thank God, Stan.

401
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:24,784
Where have you
been all day?

402
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,153
I've been here.

403
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:27,154
Do you have a witness?

404
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,522
Well, eh, more or less.

405
00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,591
Okay, uh,
second question.

406
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,026
Have you happened
to have done

407
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:34,461
anything incredibly
stupid lately,

408
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:38,498
like conjure the spirit
of a 17th-century evil wizard?

409
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,233
We're gonna have
to put a pin in that one.

410
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:41,601
Stan, were you planning
on telling me

411
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,303
about your little
time-travelling scheme?

412
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,472
It's complicated.

413
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:48,408
Listen to me, there's a double
going around town

414
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:51,544
pretending that he's me,
and he's causing...mischief.

415
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,780
Yeah, you have no idea.
I'm on my way.

416
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,782
No!
No, no, no, no, no.

417
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:58,351
You -- You go ahead
and meet me at my house,
up in Claire's room,

418
00:16:58,385 --> 00:16:59,652
and don't stop
to get your nails done.

419
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,454
What are you --
I don't get my nails --

420
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:03,190
Clock's ticking.
[Receiver slams]

421
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,491
[Cellphone beeps]

422
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,259
Definitely him.

423
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:07,427
All right, Leon.

424
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,628
You're in charge.

425
00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:12,799
[Insects chirping]

426
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:14,334
Stan: The guy said
I had 24 hours

427
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,370
to solve this riddle
or I'm a dead man.

428
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:20,440
Uh-huh,
and how long ago was that?

429
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:23,343
23 hours and 53 minutes.

430
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,245
Who's counting?

431
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,447
**

432
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:31,851
Wakey wakey,
eggs and bakey.

433
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,520
Come on,
tickle pickle.

434
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,623
-[Sputters]
-[Laughs]

435
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:40,560
What the...?

436
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:43,463
What the hell?

437
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,365
What -- What are you
doing here?

438
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,700
I wanted to challenge you

439
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:51,371
to a game
of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

440
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,140
O-Okay.

441
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,641
**

442
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,610
For stabs.

443
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:58,878
[Sand rustling]

444
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,881
Stan:
It's almost 12:00.

445
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,416
**

446
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,218
[Doorbell rings]

447
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:07,520
It's midnight.

448
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:08,821
That's him.

449
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:10,223
Denise:
Ooh, I'll get it!

450
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:11,391
She went downstairs.

451
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:12,725
Denise!

452
00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:16,496
Oh, it's the ma--
[Gasps]

453
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,598
[Moaning]
[Screaming]

454
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,600
Hey!
Hey!

455
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:21,634
Hey!

456
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:23,403
[Screams]
Denise!

457
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,604
[Grunts]

458
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,206
Denise, are you okay?

459
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,375
**

460
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,743
[Grunting]

461
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:33,146
Go for his eyes!

462
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:35,615
Yeah, the eyes!
That's it, Stan!

463
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:36,916
The eyes!

464
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,151
I got it!

465
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:40,220
Eyes!
The first person!

466
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:41,354
Oh, I get it.

467
00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:42,555
That's clever.

468
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:43,723
**

469
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:46,559
The first person
is your passage

470
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:48,895
on the time-travel
express.

471
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:50,830
You can go
wherever they go

472
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:53,266
on the day
they're laid to rest.

473
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:56,403
You solve the riddle
and you'll know what to do.

474
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:58,905
[Growls]
[Women shouting indistinctly]

475
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,840
[Growls]
Denise: Good job, Dad!

476
00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:03,243
Take the mailman's eyes,
go back to yesterday,

477
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:05,212
and then don't summon
Gerard DuQuette!

478
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:07,647
**

479
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,516
Come on, Dad!

480
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,318
-[Grunts]
-All right, Stan!

481
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:12,852
Hold your horses.

482
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,821
You know what they say
about eyeballs.

483
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:18,458
[Breathing heavily]
They don't gouge themselves out.

484
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,861
[Splat]
[Grunting]

485
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:24,631
[Screaming]

486
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,833
[Screaming in distance]

487
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,902
Well,
that was a fun game.

488
00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,938
I win.

489
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:34,441
[Giggles]

490
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:35,708
**

491
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,777
[Echoed laughter continues]

492
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:42,215
[Panting]

493
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:44,717
[Sigh]

494
00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:48,255
What's in the bag,
Stan?

495
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:51,491
You said I had 24 hours
to solve the riddle.

496
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,626
And I did.

497
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:54,861
It's the eyes.

498
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:57,497
The first person
is the eyes.

499
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,933
**

500
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:04,471
Indeed you did.

501
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,273
Get on it,
little man.

502
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:09,676
[Panting]

503
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:16,716
[Discordant music playing]

504
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:30,530
[Growling]
Stan: It worked.

505
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:31,798
[Sighs]

506
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:34,301
**

507
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:38,905
* Golly gee,
I can't believe you're mine *

508
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:43,710
* And I'll have you
till the end of time *
[Screams]

509
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:48,681
* I was in the shadows
of loneliness *

510
00:20:48,715 --> 00:20:53,520
* I could only long
for your caress *

511
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:55,488
* Suddenly, to my surprise
Ahh!

512
00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:58,024
* The time is right

513
00:20:58,057 --> 00:21:03,463
* To wrap myself around you
and hold you tight *

514
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:08,067
* Golly gee,
I can't believe you're mine *

515
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:11,938
* And I'll have you
till the end of time *

516
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:13,973
Sweetheart,
I'm sorry about this.

517
00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,743
* I was in the shadows
of loneliness *

518
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,044
You'll thank me later.

519
00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:22,749
* I could only long
for your caress *

520
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:27,520
* Suddenly, to my surprise,
the time is right *

521
00:21:27,554 --> 00:21:31,891
* To wrap myself around you
and hold you tight *