Gerard: Thaddeus Eccles burns 172 people at the stake.
You could end this curse in one fell swoop.
[Screaming in distance]
You want to defeat evil?
You gotta find a bigger evil and let a little in.
[Screaming continues]
Evie: According to the legend,
Kumbhakarna, or Haurus, needs a human host.
♪♪
Fleming: Since Judy is part of Eudora's bloodline,
were she to cast the proper spell,
she could summon Haurus back to our plane of existence.
Evie: Whatever that thing is...
I think it might be more powerful
than Constable Eccles.
♪♪
Haurus: [Whispering] Stan.
♪♪
Judy?
I am known as Kumbhakarna.
Others know me as Haurus.
I thought you were Judy.
I possess the soul that wasJudy,
but it is time for a new vessel.
Don't get me wrong, Judy's terrific.
No, no. She's great. Let me ask you this --
if you were to possess my soul...
what's in it for me?
Power beyond comprehension.
The ability to destroy Constable Eccles
and rid Willard's Mill of this wretched curse forever.
What if I'm already doing that?
You're doing a shitty job of it.
Eccles and the curse still reign.
But I'd help you.
Invite me in or stay in this hell forever!
Aaaaaaaaaah!
Denise: Dad.
What?! Dad.
What? [Gasps]
Wake up!
It's time to go to the hospital!
I was having a nightmare. What -- What hospital?
You know, you have your thingy where they check your doo-dad
so you don't get the yikes up your hello!
Oh, that's right.
My doctor said I wasn't getting enough shame.
Ugh. Get up!
♪♪
Hey, Judy, if you want to posses my body,
today'd be a pretty good day for it, huh?
♪♪
[Monitor beeping steadily]Alright, Mr. Miller,
we've given you something to help you relax,
and you should be feeling those effects any minute.
Well, I don't feel anything yet. But let me ask you...
where are you and your family spending Shark Week?
And, you -- you --
you're more than welcome to crawl into my pouch
and stay warm with your brother.
Okay, number four is ready!
Oscar the Grouch lives in garbage
and nobody cares!
Nobody cares about, uh...
Woman on P.A.: Paging Dr. Herman.
Paging P.W. Herman.
Ms. Miller?
Oh. How'd it go?
He did great. I actually did great.
He just laid there. [Chuckles]
I'm just kidding.
There is a problem. What?
Nothing to be alarmed about.
But let me ask you -- before we gave your father anesthesia,
did he have any extra... anesthesia?
No. W-What's going on?
Is he prone in any way to comas?
My dad's in a coma?!Now, I did not say that.
[Chuckles] He is, however, in a coma.
Or a coma-like state.
Well, what's the difference?
Well, a coma-like state is three words
and takes longer to say, and [stammers]
Also, in a coma, there's very little brain activity.
Though your father's body is unconscious,
his brain activity is all over the map.
[Chuckles]
Doctor, you're wanted in post-op.
Is it urgent?
Remember when you said if it was urgent, come get you,
but act casual?
Oh. Mm.
Oh.
[Breathing heavily] Wh...
I love your top.
♪♪
Mr. Miller?
How are you?
♪♪
'Zat it?
Yes, that's it.
You're all done, and you did great.
We need you to stay here, though,
because you're a little groggy
and we don't want you to hurt yourself.
[Clattering, screaming in distance]
What was that?
Okay, sit down, please. Sit!
♪♪
[Man screaming in distance]
♪♪
Orderly, can you help this man?
♪♪
[Grunts, groans]
I thought I told you to stay in your room.
What?
[Grunting]
Thank you, Darryl. Be careful.
He's a fighter. [Laughs]
[Chuckling] I'm sorry that you had to see that.
What the hell is this?
I thought you said everything went okay.
Yes, everything went okay with you.
But here in the hospital, we've had a small viral outbreak
with a pinch of contagion,
so we've had to move you to quarantine.
Quarantine?
Oh, come on. Give me a break.
How long am I stuck in this dump?
Hopefully, not too long.
And if you promise me to stay put,
I'll see what I can do about getting you some ice cream.
Ahh! [Laughs]
[Men screaming in distance]
I'm gonna cut you up! Fatty!
♪♪
[Laughs]
Oh, God.
♪♪
[Grunts]
Aye, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi!
Ew!
She ain't gettin' no ice cream.
Evie, I'm at the hospital with my dad.
You better get down here.
N-No, he's not causing a scene, he's unconscious!
No, he's not sick!
Just get your cop ass down here!
It worked. [Chuckles]
Alright.
I like that.
Hey, nurse!
I'm sorry. I thought you worked here.
♪♪
[Indistinct shouting in distance]
♪♪
Nurse Pickles: Fatty!
[Gasps, breathing heavily]
Hi. Get away from me!
No, no. L-L-Little girl, w-wait!
[Screaming continues]
♪♪
Seriously?
♪♪
Dr. Barlow, look.
Oh, gross!
Okay, let's call it.
Time of death -- 11:27.
He's not dead, he's bleeding.
Hmm.
Well, let's hit this fresh in the morning.
It's late.
[Scoffs]
Dr. Barlow: Oh, boy.
[Screaming in distance]
♪♪
Woman over P.A.: Dr. Flores, dial 118, please.
Hey, what's going on?
My da-- What's going on with your face?
Oh, I was at my scrapbooking club.
Why is there a lightning bolt on your face?
Uh, it's a David Bowie scrapbooking club.
There's a David Bowie scrapbooking club,
and I don't know about it?
Well, no, it's just me alone...
at my house -- like all my clubs.
What's going on with your dad?
Oh. Well, you know, he went in
for the [grumbles] old-man thing.
Let's not dwell. M'kay.
It went fine, but now they can't wake him.
They can't -- I'll go talk to them.
Lightning bolt!
I'll go wash my face.
Or...
Lightning bolt! Right.
[Sighs] I gotta get in that club.
[Screaming in distance]
Now, looky there, Dr. Cox, I didn't mean nothing
when I was making fun of your hospital earlier.
The fact of the matter is, when it comes to sewing
people's faces up, you guys are best in breed.
[Clatter, woman screams in distance]
You better go check that out, Doc.
Get to the bottom of that.
When you find the culprit, call him a girl's name.
♪♪
[Door closes]
Who are you?
I'm trying to hide.
They want to turn me into one of them, but I won't let them.
That's my girl. Help me out of this thing.
Oh!
How do you get out of here?
There is no way out of here.
There are no doors leading to the outside,
and all the hallways just lead to other hallways.
Well, you got in, right? So there must be some way out.
The only door I haven't been to is...
the basement, but we can't go down there.
Why not?Because no one who has ever gone down there
has come out. I see.
So, you want to go to the basement?
No! Me, neither. Let's go.
♪♪
Come on, honey.
What if this place is all topsy-turvy
like in "The Poseidon Adventure,"
and the basement is really the attic?
It's not.
Okay. Okay.
Then what we have here
is an upside-down "Poseidon Adventure"
where everything is actually exactly where it should be.
♪♪
That's brilliant. That's brilliant.
Come on.
[Heart beating]
♪♪
[Woman screams]
♪♪
[Monitor beeping]
[Sighs]
What happened to his forehead?
I have no idea. None of this makes any sense --
unless we're all having the same hallucination.
Unless we're all beautifully, beautifully drunk
on the same delicious beverage.
Evie: [Clears throat] Doctor?Who are you?
I'm the sheriff.Oh.
So let's assume we're not all drunk.
What is the plan here?
We need to relieve the pressure on his brain.
I'd like to make one very small incision
all the way around his head. And then?
You ever see the way clams talk in cartoons?
And that's a normal course of action?
Yes.
Then why are you doing it?
You said yourself, this isn't normal.
Maybe you need to think of it as close to normal,
"paranormal."
Because when people start using "finger quotes"
and saying words like "paranormal," it usually means --
Everybody's gonna stop talking right now.
"Oh, shit."
I'll go check on that coffee.
When did you go in my purse?
We need to get a wheelchair.
We're getting him out of here.
What are you doing?Shut up.
I'm feeling bossy, and I like it!
You said yourself this wasn't normal.
We all know what that means -- witchcraft!
Which I know sounds really nuts,
but if you knew our family --
Now you shut up. I know you're trying to help,
but you're just adding crazy sauce.
[Sighs]
Where's our wheelchair?!
Oh, you want it now.
We're gonna have to pull a "Weekend at Bernie's."
Take him to a party? No, get him in a wheelchair,
and then sneak him out of here!
I'm -- I'm -- I'm sorry I pulled your gun on him.
That's okay. It's not loaded.
What? How -- What?
Well, I was trying to do the less-crazy version of this,
but your way seemed to work.
♪♪
Where is this basement/attic of yours?
There's a door at the end of this hallway.
You mean all the way down there? Yeah.
A better man than me.
No, help!
Help me!
♪♪
[Beeping]
[Laughs]
♪♪
Oh, hey, guys.
Hey, Leon.
Hey, Stan.
♪♪
Say something. What?
Something like Stan!
♪♪
[As Stan] I hate when women go shopping!
[Chuckles]
[Tires screech]
Amen, brother. [Chuckles]
We're out of our room again, Mr. Miller.
Where is she?
Whatever do you mean?
Where is she?
[Laughs]
♪♪
Girl: They're gonna sew my face up.
They're gonna make me like them.
No.
They're not.
♪♪
Let me tell you something.
They're gonna have an awful hard time
sewing with their head shoved up their own...
poo-poos.
♪♪
You know, poopy bottoms.
♪♪
I'm sorry.
It's been a very long time since I've talked to a kid.
Mr. Miller, there's no cause for violence.
She can leave.
All you have to do is agree to join us here.
♪♪
Fine.
[Chuckles] You have to ask.
Yes. I said yes.
What is it with you women?
Even in Hell, you can't take yes for an answer.
No, y-you gotta hear yourself talk,
talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk!
You don't even know her.
♪♪
That's the whole point, isn't it?
One time...
somebody sacrificed their own life
just to save mine.
♪♪
And that's a heavy burden.
♪♪
And I get that now.
♪♪
So I gotta --
I gotta, you know --
Pay it forward?
♪♪
If that was an expression, yeah.
It is an expression.
No, it's not.
Yes, i-it was a movie.
No, it wasn't.
Stanley, Stanley, Stanley.
♪♪
I do believe you're ready.
♪♪
[Squelching noises]
♪♪
[Growls]
♪♪
Haro, Taro, Solomon!
Nothing!
Are you sure you're saying it right?
Am I sure I'm pronouncing the dead language correctly?
No, I'm not sure! Ugh!
Hold on. Hold on.
Okay, hear me out.
He's not supposed to be unconscious, right?
What if he isn't?
I mean, like, what if his consciousness
is -- is somewhere else, and his body is just trapped here?
Because I -- I saw something, um...
something about, like, a un-- like, unifying the --
Unify. Like a reunification.
Yes! Yes! Astral reunification, right?Okay.
Let's try this one.Okay. Okay.
Your sacrifice will save others
the way your wife saved you,
and the circle will be complete.
What's in it for you?
I hate Eccles more than you do...
for my own reasons.
[Creature growling]
But we're running out of time.
Your friends know where you are, and they're bringing you back.
Together: Sanguis Bibimus,
Corpus Edimus,
Corpus Satani!
We can do better.I-I don't think we said it right.
We can do better. Okay, okay. [Clears throat]Okay. Alright.
Sanguis Bibimus,
Corpus Edimus,
Corpus Satani!
Personally, I wouldn't worry about it, if I were you. Sanguis Bibimus...
They're largely clueless without me.
Sanguis Bibimus,
Corpus Edimus,
Corpus Satani!
Sanguis Bibimus...It's just not my day.
...Corpus Edimus...
This opportunity won't come again.
♪♪
Okay. Sanguis Bibimus,
Corpus Edimus,
Corpus Satani!Shut up!
Sanguis Bibimus...Just shut up, will ya?!
Look, it's working. Did you hear it?
So, we gotta keep going.Okay.
Sanguis Bibimus,
Corpus Edimus,
Corpus... No!
No, no, no. H-He's saying no.
No, he said, "Go," like keep going.No, he s-- No, no, no.
No, he said, "No." No, no, no. No, no. Sanguis Bibimus...
Do it.
Sanguis Bi--No, no, no. No, no. He's saying we should stop!
What are you tal-- Denise!
Sanguis Bibimus...No! No. No. No.
Corpus Edimus...No! No! No! No! No!
Corpus --What are you doing?! Stop it! No! No! No! No! No!
[To "Camptown Races"] ♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Doo-dah, doo-dah Sanguis Bibimus, Corpus Edimus...
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ♪
♪ Oh, doo-dah day
Unbelievable.
[Indistinct arguing]
♪♪
Stan: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
[Growls]
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
[Gasps][Both gasp]
[Head thuds]
Dad?
Stan.
Come on, Stan.Dad.
Dad.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Come on, Stan.
Come on, Stan!
Evie?
Stan, come on!
He -- Denise.
Whaaaat
the hell have you done to my floor?!
[Both laugh]
♪♪
Oh, Stan.
♪♪
Wow! Okay.
Just, uh -- 'Cause for a --
for a couple seconds there, you --
you were, uh...
[Chuckles]
♪♪
Yeah.
♪♪
What's with all the waterworks?
What are you... Bridget Jones,
writing another diary or something?
[Laughs]
♪♪
Let's clean all this stuff up. What do you say?
♪♪
Okay.
Let's go. Lickety-split.
Okay.
He's back!
♪♪
"Bridget Jones's Diary."
After Denise stole my gun... Denise: Yeah.
...uh [chuckles] we preceded to break you
out of the hospital and then...drive around.
Like "Weekend at Bernie's."
Yeah! Yeah!
[Laughs] God damn.
It sure as hell sounds like your weekend
was one hell of a lot more interesting than mine.
Now, if you will excuse me...
I gotta go cop a squirt.
I'm glad he's back and peeing.
♪♪
[Heart beating]
♪♪
[Heart beating]