1
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,891
Hey. You know
the 5th grade starts tomorrow again.

2
00:00:19,975 --> 00:00:22,433
What?! Does that mean
we have to get up at 8:00?

3
00:00:22,516 --> 00:00:23,433
Oh, calm down.

4
00:00:23,516 --> 00:00:26,391
- You slept 95% of the summer.
- Yeah.

5
00:00:36,016 --> 00:00:41,516
<i>♪ Last year of elementary school
Last year of bein' a kid ♪</i>

6
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,016
<i>♪ Being on top ♪</i>

7
00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:47,141
<i>♪ I'm gonna go out swingin' ♪</i>

8
00:00:47,225 --> 00:00:50,850
<i>♪ Toy soldiers
Dippin' Dots, fun-size bars ♪</i>

9
00:00:50,933 --> 00:00:54,725
<i>♪ Slip 'N slides
Fart noises, chicken stars ♪</i>

10
00:00:54,808 --> 00:00:58,600
<i>♪ Until they tell me to stop ♪</i>

11
00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:03,183
<i>♪ Last year of elementary school
Biggest kid on campus ♪</i>

12
00:01:03,266 --> 00:01:04,975
<i>♪ I got it made ♪</i>

13
00:01:05,058 --> 00:01:08,433
<i>♪ Sit down, son!
I own all you dorks ♪</i>

14
00:01:08,516 --> 00:01:11,725
<i>♪ I'm so stoked
I was held back in third grade ♪</i>

15
00:01:11,808 --> 00:01:14,516
<i>♪ Okay, okay
So we will not invite Cara ♪</i>

16
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,100
<i>♪ Oh my God, I hate her ♪</i>

17
00:01:16,183 --> 00:01:17,808
<i>♪ Sabrina's kind of cool ♪</i>

18
00:01:17,891 --> 00:01:19,391
<i>♪ We do not do 4th graders ♪</i>

19
00:01:19,475 --> 00:01:23,225
- <i>♪ So we make a list of friends? ♪</i>
- <i>♪ Yes, with no weirdos on it ♪</i>

20
00:01:23,308 --> 00:01:25,183
- What about Summer?
- Yeah, she's nice.

21
00:01:25,266 --> 00:01:26,641
Uh, vomit.

22
00:01:27,641 --> 00:01:30,100
- Summer, where's Mommy?
- I'll put you to bed tonight, Kayla.

23
00:01:30,183 --> 00:01:32,016
We're getting older.
Mom'll be gone someday.

24
00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:33,933
It's 5th grade.
Time to be a grown-up.

25
00:01:34,016 --> 00:01:36,766
- Where did she--
- I won't drink coffee or like boys.

26
00:01:36,850 --> 00:01:39,475
- I'll fill my own water bottle, get bangs.
- Is she still gonna--

27
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:41,725
Everyone got bangs,
but my forehead's getting bigger.

28
00:01:41,808 --> 00:01:44,933
I don't wanna look like a parade float
or an alien and be the talk--

29
00:01:46,558 --> 00:01:48,183
<i>♪ Five more minutes ♪</i>

30
00:01:48,266 --> 00:01:51,433
<i>♪ Cole, this year
You have to get up on your own ♪</i>

31
00:01:51,516 --> 00:01:52,725
<i>♪ Five more minutes ♪</i>

32
00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:55,850
- <i>♪ Okay, five more minutes ♪</i>
- Way to be strong, Dad.

33
00:01:57,141 --> 00:01:59,016
<i>♪ Lessening ♪</i>

34
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:02,308
<i>♪ They say my nut allergies
Are lessening ♪</i>

35
00:02:04,516 --> 00:02:10,641
<i>♪ Once the immune boosters kick in
I can try the kung pao chicken ♪</i>

36
00:02:11,558 --> 00:02:15,266
<i>♪ Welcome, 5th graders
Go right through this door ♪</i>

37
00:02:15,350 --> 00:02:20,600
<i>♪ 'Cause this year, your homerooms
Are on the second floor ♪</i>

38
00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:22,516
The big time!

39
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,433
<i>♪ Please don't step on
The kindergartners ♪</i>

40
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,058
Going to Westlake next year?

41
00:02:32,141 --> 00:02:34,683
My cousin said
there's a kid who smokes there.

42
00:02:34,766 --> 00:02:37,850
- You see anything?
- No. A lot of yappin'. Come on.

43
00:02:37,933 --> 00:02:39,641
- Ah, there we go.
- All right.

44
00:02:39,725 --> 00:02:42,808
Another year, another batch
of 5th grade head cases.

45
00:02:42,891 --> 00:02:44,850
Kabir, Anthony, welcome.

46
00:02:44,933 --> 00:02:48,183
You from New York, new guy?
Patriots suck!

47
00:02:48,266 --> 00:02:49,475
That's New England.

48
00:02:49,558 --> 00:02:52,308
- I think your shirt's on backwards.
- Come on!

49
00:02:52,391 --> 00:02:55,475
- Look at this. Bunch of motormouths.
- Yep. Same old, same old.

50
00:02:55,558 --> 00:02:57,600
I saw Cara in a sweater from Gymboree.

51
00:02:57,683 --> 00:02:59,725
- There's the snotty clique.
- Tween Queens.

52
00:02:59,808 --> 00:03:02,475
- The Facade Squad.
- Peaking at 11.

53
00:03:02,558 --> 00:03:05,975
- The "sick and should've stayed home" kid.
- Always one.

54
00:03:06,058 --> 00:03:08,641
There's the class clown
who secretly despises himself.

55
00:03:08,725 --> 00:03:10,141
That's hysterical, Cole!

56
00:03:10,225 --> 00:03:12,933
- Thanks, Cole!
- Jeez, how many Coles this year?

57
00:03:13,016 --> 00:03:16,266
Reminds me
of the Justin avalanche of 1991.

58
00:03:16,350 --> 00:03:18,433
God forbid we ever see a Richie again.

59
00:03:18,516 --> 00:03:21,183
Bro, no way, are you taller than me now?

60
00:03:21,266 --> 00:03:23,308
The inevitable Cheez Doodle kid.

61
00:03:23,391 --> 00:03:25,433
No, those look like Dorito fingers.

62
00:03:25,516 --> 00:03:27,516
- We just moved from the Bronx.
- You're new? Wow.

63
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:31,391
That's hard. Never had to leave friends,
except when we went to Myrtle Beach.

64
00:03:31,475 --> 00:03:33,756
On the flight home,
the old lady next to me had arthritis.

65
00:03:33,808 --> 00:03:35,141
I opened her mustard packet.

66
00:03:35,225 --> 00:03:37,141
- First child.
- No filter.

67
00:03:37,225 --> 00:03:39,558
Never heard the word "enough."

68
00:03:39,641 --> 00:03:41,850
Okay, guys.
Are you excited?

69
00:03:41,933 --> 00:03:45,058
Most of you have been going
to this school for five years.

70
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,683
Some of you, seven.
And now you're the big kids.

71
00:03:47,766 --> 00:03:51,725
I hope everyone's met our class pets,
Leonardo and Squirtle.

72
00:03:51,808 --> 00:03:53,016
I'm not touching those things.

73
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,516
Don't they eat, sleep and poo
in the same place?

74
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,766
Hey! I poo where he sleeps.

75
00:03:57,850 --> 00:03:59,058
Now what if I told you

76
00:03:59,141 --> 00:04:02,641
there's a big reward at the end
of this year if you do well in class?

77
00:04:02,725 --> 00:04:04,558
The Academicathalon thing?

78
00:04:04,641 --> 00:04:07,516
Look at her work these kids.
Salinas, what a pro.

79
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,100
Best since Ms. Bielecky in the '60s.

80
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:13,350
And what if I told you
this year's winning class

81
00:04:13,433 --> 00:04:16,350
gets a field trip to somewhere special
for a whole day?

82
00:04:16,433 --> 00:04:18,683
Yeah!

83
00:04:18,766 --> 00:04:19,600
Wow!

84
00:04:19,683 --> 00:04:21,867
- Salinas havin' a baby?
- The belly's poppin' a little.

85
00:04:21,891 --> 00:04:25,391
Oh, Zane, I'm afraid
you can't bring snacks into the class.

86
00:04:25,475 --> 00:04:26,891
I'll hold those, just for now.

87
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,933
Cheetos.
Wow, didn't see that coming.

88
00:04:29,016 --> 00:04:32,516
At the end of the year,
our three 5th grade classes

89
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:36,475
compete in art,
debating, science, and history.

90
00:04:36,558 --> 00:04:40,350
And if our class wins,
we get a trip to Magic Land Park!

91
00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:44,600
Don't they have the Dragon Coaster?
I heard it caught fire once!

92
00:04:44,683 --> 00:04:48,141
- Yeah, it was banned in Europe.
- Yes, but not in Florida.

93
00:04:48,225 --> 00:04:50,433
Yep, havin' a baby.

94
00:04:50,516 --> 00:04:53,558
Okay. Let's see
how much you guys already know.

95
00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:56,141
Who knows what you call it when a plant...

96
00:04:56,225 --> 00:04:58,225
...converts light to food?

97
00:04:58,308 --> 00:05:00,534
- The conversion's photosynthesis...
- Photosynthesis.

98
00:05:00,558 --> 00:05:03,391
- ...turning H2O and CO2 into glucose.
- Into glucose.

99
00:05:03,475 --> 00:05:06,308
- Ah.
- Excellent job, Mia.

100
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,016
Oh. So...

101
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,891
Oh, boy.
Divorced parents.

102
00:05:10,975 --> 00:05:12,766
Okay, honey.
Thank you.

103
00:05:12,850 --> 00:05:14,933
You're okay. So sweet.

104
00:05:15,016 --> 00:05:16,058
Okay.

105
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:19,183
Let's look at some of the books
we're gonna read in class this year.

106
00:05:19,266 --> 00:05:21,141
Who's heard of Charlotte's Web?

107
00:05:21,225 --> 00:05:23,808
Oh no.
The kids always cry at the end.

108
00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,975
Like kids don't cry enough?
We gotta trigger the garden hoses?

109
00:05:27,058 --> 00:05:28,808
- Crying's for weaklings.
- Right.

110
00:05:28,891 --> 00:05:31,016
We'll meet Fern and her pig, Wilbur.

111
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,766
It's a stupid book anyway.

112
00:05:32,850 --> 00:05:36,725
- Right. Animals never talk to people.
- Plus, no one gets to eat Charlotte.

113
00:05:36,808 --> 00:05:39,933
You just have to hear
about this delicious spider for days

114
00:05:40,016 --> 00:05:41,808
and get hungry thinkin' about it.

115
00:05:41,891 --> 00:05:43,975
...like you'll learn this year.

116
00:05:44,058 --> 00:05:47,350
Sorry, Cole?
Is there something you wanna share?

117
00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:50,433
That's so gross!

118
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,975
I can't believe you did that!

119
00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:55,850
Sorry, guys.

120
00:05:55,891 --> 00:05:58,225
Man, that smells good.

121
00:05:58,308 --> 00:06:01,850
Send some of that our way next time.
Gettin' sick of the lettuce.

122
00:06:03,141 --> 00:06:04,683
Hi, Mrs. Salinas!

123
00:06:08,641 --> 00:06:11,058
- Hi, I'm Cole Wiseki's mom.
- Oh, hi.

124
00:06:11,141 --> 00:06:12,808
Can I-- Real quick?
For Facebook?

125
00:06:12,891 --> 00:06:14,600
Thanks.

126
00:06:14,683 --> 00:06:17,725
- Cole is a very--
- That's gonna look great. Thank you.

127
00:06:17,808 --> 00:06:19,891
Since when do people
wanna look like ducks?

128
00:06:21,141 --> 00:06:23,183
Isn't that something,
how they've grown?

129
00:06:23,266 --> 00:06:26,725
And in 5th grade, you'll find your kids
wanting to make their own choices.

130
00:06:26,808 --> 00:06:29,391
Embrace it.
Let them make their own mistakes.

131
00:06:29,475 --> 00:06:30,891
How long does this go?

132
00:06:30,975 --> 00:06:32,725
Not terribly long, Dr. Wenger.

133
00:06:32,808 --> 00:06:35,808
Now, some of you may have heard
about Mrs. Salinas', uh,

134
00:06:35,891 --> 00:06:37,266
incident in class.

135
00:06:37,350 --> 00:06:42,141
I want to confirm it has nothing to do
with anything she ate in the cafeteria.

136
00:06:42,225 --> 00:06:45,725
She's just gonna be taking some time off.
A leave, let's say.

137
00:06:45,808 --> 00:06:47,308
Wait.
For how long?

138
00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:48,808
Here comes the bomb.

139
00:06:48,891 --> 00:06:52,058
For, uh...
Till she has the baby, let's say.

140
00:06:52,141 --> 00:06:54,725
- What?!
- Having a baby?

141
00:06:54,808 --> 00:06:57,308
Are you sure?
Did she get a second opinion?

142
00:06:57,391 --> 00:06:59,808
Are you kidding me?
This is what happened in 3rd grade!

143
00:06:59,891 --> 00:07:01,058
The substitute was awful!

144
00:07:01,141 --> 00:07:04,308
I'm texting my daughter right now!
She'll be devastated!

145
00:07:42,058 --> 00:07:44,350
You can't just say that!

146
00:07:44,433 --> 00:07:47,308
Look at these lazy class pets.
Do they even move?

147
00:07:47,391 --> 00:07:50,016
- I'd like that job.
- That lizard looks pretty old.

148
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,391
Do I look old?

149
00:07:52,350 --> 00:07:53,183
Mm-mm.

150
00:07:53,266 --> 00:07:54,266
Thank you.

151
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:58,558
It's a Tuatara. They live a long time.
Till about 75.

152
00:07:58,641 --> 00:08:01,891
Hmm. Never knew that.
Suck on that, hamsters.

153
00:08:01,975 --> 00:08:04,141
Wow. Looks like
he's gettin' close to that.

154
00:08:05,183 --> 00:08:07,016
Bye. Nice seeing you.

155
00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:08,391
Ah, he's nuts.

156
00:08:08,475 --> 00:08:12,391
I mean, you're old, cranky, lazy,
but no way does that make you 75.

157
00:08:12,475 --> 00:08:15,266
Seventy-five.
Seventy-five. Seventy-five.

158
00:08:24,725 --> 00:08:26,641
Underneath it says,

159
00:08:26,725 --> 00:08:29,891
"Here men from the planet Earth
first set foot upon the Moon."

160
00:08:29,975 --> 00:08:32,016
We came in peace--

161
00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:38,766
1949.

162
00:08:38,850 --> 00:08:40,975
- What about it?
- I was born around then.

163
00:08:41,058 --> 00:08:43,641
How many years has it been since 1949?

164
00:08:43,725 --> 00:08:45,225
No idea.
That's addition.

165
00:08:45,308 --> 00:08:47,558
They learn that in 2nd grade.
We're all about fractions.

166
00:08:47,641 --> 00:08:51,308
Great. Why can't they move us
around a little, so we can know more?

167
00:08:57,933 --> 00:09:01,266
Okay, four sixteenths equals
how many fourths?

168
00:09:04,058 --> 00:09:06,933
- She's leaving. They don't hear a word.
- 1966, 1967...

169
00:09:07,016 --> 00:09:10,016
- What're you doin'?
- Trying to count how many years old I am.

170
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:13,058
1968, 1969, 1970...

171
00:09:13,141 --> 00:09:16,183
I'm out of toes and fingers.
What else can I count with?

172
00:09:16,266 --> 00:09:19,516
I'd tell you, but there's kids around.

173
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,683
I was talkin' about his tail.

174
00:09:21,766 --> 00:09:24,975
Addition... I...
I gotta talk to some 2nd grade pets.

175
00:09:25,058 --> 00:09:27,975
Forget it.
We only see those pets at fire drills.

176
00:09:28,058 --> 00:09:29,975
They don't happen until November.

177
00:09:30,058 --> 00:09:32,683
What the--

178
00:09:32,766 --> 00:09:34,975
- Huh? What?
- Is this a fire drill?

179
00:09:35,058 --> 00:09:38,725
It's probably nothing, but let's go.
Anthony, why don't you grab the pets?

180
00:09:41,183 --> 00:09:43,975
Everyone evacuate! Stop, drop and roll!

181
00:09:44,058 --> 00:09:46,516
I think I'm on fire!

182
00:09:48,891 --> 00:09:50,891
Jeez, we just redecorated!

183
00:09:50,975 --> 00:09:54,433
Someday, cops are gonna
carry that kid off a plane. Huh?

184
00:09:54,516 --> 00:09:56,933
I'll park ya right over here, fellas.

185
00:09:57,016 --> 00:09:58,933
All right, here we go.

186
00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:01,933
Hey, guys, how was your summer?
Do anything fun?

187
00:10:02,016 --> 00:10:03,641
- Sleep.
- Sleep.

188
00:10:03,725 --> 00:10:06,016
- Eat.
- Lot of poopin'.

189
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:09,100
Terrific.
Say, who's 2nd grade again?

190
00:10:09,183 --> 00:10:11,266
- That's me. How ya doin', Lizzy?
- Great.

191
00:10:11,350 --> 00:10:16,725
I'm actually Leonardo. Lizzy's the iguana
in Mr. Marculia's homeroom. You're...

192
00:10:16,808 --> 00:10:20,558
I'm Cinnabun. I know. So corny.
Just got renamed again.

193
00:10:20,641 --> 00:10:22,308
Oh. Well, beats "Thumper."

194
00:10:22,391 --> 00:10:27,391
I guess. What's bad are the Hare ones.
Hare Brain, Hare Piece, Hare-y Potter...

195
00:10:27,475 --> 00:10:31,183
Right, right. Hey, the 2nd graders,
you guys do addition, right?

196
00:10:31,266 --> 00:10:33,266
...Hare Lip, Hare Club For Men.

197
00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:34,933
Yes, and subtraction.
We do both.

198
00:10:35,016 --> 00:10:38,891
Great, okay, look.
If I got here in 1949,

199
00:10:38,975 --> 00:10:42,641
and it's 2023, what does that make me?

200
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:45,308
Oh. Uh, I know this one.
A reptile.

201
00:10:45,391 --> 00:10:46,725
Shmuck.

202
00:10:46,808 --> 00:10:49,475
Okay, it was a false alarm.

203
00:10:49,558 --> 00:10:51,725
The school is not on fire.

204
00:10:55,225 --> 00:10:56,808
No, how old would I be?

205
00:10:56,891 --> 00:11:01,350
No. Right, subtraction.
Okay, um, dip, dip, dip, dip, dip, 74.

206
00:11:01,433 --> 00:11:04,558
- Seventy-four. Isn't that right before--
- Upsy-daisies.

207
00:11:04,641 --> 00:11:06,475
Wait, wait! Hold on!

208
00:11:06,558 --> 00:11:09,558
That's the number before 75, isn't it?

209
00:11:09,641 --> 00:11:13,683
What's the matter? You look upset.

210
00:11:14,933 --> 00:11:17,516
Cinnabun!

211
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,683
Settle down.

212
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:22,391
I'm a lizard. Ooh.

213
00:11:22,475 --> 00:11:24,558
That's good.
Don't dignify it.

214
00:11:24,641 --> 00:11:26,933
Doesn't matter.
I'm doomed.

215
00:11:27,016 --> 00:11:30,225
I'm 74 seventy-fifths dead.

216
00:11:30,308 --> 00:11:32,433
What?
That's not for class pets.

217
00:11:32,516 --> 00:11:35,141
When you're in captivity,
75 is the new 70.

218
00:11:35,225 --> 00:11:38,600
And, hey, you wanna live so bad,
a little exercise wouldn't kill ya.

219
00:11:38,683 --> 00:11:41,058
- Like what?
- Blinking's good. That'd be a start.

220
00:11:41,141 --> 00:11:43,141
- I blink.
- Barely.

221
00:11:43,225 --> 00:11:44,225
Fine.

222
00:11:50,516 --> 00:11:53,891
Okay. You didn't have to dive right in.

223
00:11:53,975 --> 00:11:55,141
Who am I kiddin'?

224
00:11:55,225 --> 00:11:59,433
I can't start this rigorous workin' out
at this point in my life.

225
00:11:59,516 --> 00:12:01,933
It's too late.
I blew it.

226
00:12:02,016 --> 00:12:03,975
I wasted my life!

227
00:12:04,475 --> 00:12:07,600
And now, it's almost over.

228
00:12:08,225 --> 00:12:11,933
<i>♪ When a man has to face ♪</i>

229
00:12:12,016 --> 00:12:15,141
<i>♪ That he's about to die ♪</i>

230
00:12:15,225 --> 00:12:19,600
<i>♪ He thinks of all the things
He'd never done ♪</i>

231
00:12:20,725 --> 00:12:24,016
<i>♪ I never ate a snail ♪</i>

232
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:27,308
<i>♪ Never got to hunt a fly ♪</i>

233
00:12:27,391 --> 00:12:32,058
<i>♪ Just had them fed to me by everyone ♪</i>

234
00:12:33,850 --> 00:12:39,266
<i>♪ Never ate algae straight from the sea ♪</i>

235
00:12:39,350 --> 00:12:45,766
<i>♪ Never got nothin' but lettuce
Always lands in Squirtle's pee ♪</i>

236
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:49,933
<i>♪ I never stole a bird's eggs ♪</i>

237
00:12:50,016 --> 00:12:52,808
<i>♪ Never chased a squirrel ♪</i>

238
00:12:53,308 --> 00:12:56,808
<i>♪ Never got to show my slick moves ♪</i>

239
00:12:56,891 --> 00:12:58,891
<i>♪ To a girl ♪</i>

240
00:13:37,808 --> 00:13:39,975
Go about your business.

241
00:13:40,058 --> 00:13:42,391
Everyone, meet your new teacher.

242
00:13:42,475 --> 00:13:45,433
This is our substitute?

243
00:13:45,516 --> 00:13:47,725
You have to leave?
So soon?

244
00:13:47,808 --> 00:13:50,933
Well, my doctor thinks I need
to rest through my pregnancy.

245
00:13:51,016 --> 00:13:53,641
So until I'm back, you'll have Ms. Malkin.

246
00:13:53,725 --> 00:13:56,600
It's not brain surgery, gang.

247
00:13:56,683 --> 00:13:59,683
Guys, you don't have to be afraid
of change.

248
00:13:59,766 --> 00:14:02,183
Change is a beautiful part of life.

249
00:14:02,266 --> 00:14:05,183
<i>♪ There's a time for trees ♪</i>

250
00:14:05,266 --> 00:14:08,350
<i>♪ To lose their leaves ♪</i>

251
00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:13,350
<i>♪ And a time those leaves return ♪</i>

252
00:14:14,683 --> 00:14:17,516
- Oh, I don't sing.
- Oh, okay.

253
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:21,641
How about we continue with the class.
I'm gonna teach with Ms. Malkin today--

254
00:14:21,725 --> 00:14:24,308
- Please don't leave us, Mrs. Salinas!
- Oh.

255
00:14:24,391 --> 00:14:26,808
Agh! Down! Now! Down!

256
00:14:26,891 --> 00:14:28,308
No hug! Sit!

257
00:14:28,391 --> 00:14:32,641
In class, we sit up straight,
pay attention, and we are what? You!

258
00:14:32,725 --> 00:14:35,725
What? Oh, my God.
Um, we're quiet?

259
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:38,850
That's very good listening, Logan.
That's a heart for you.

260
00:14:44,225 --> 00:14:46,850
The hearts are for when the kids listen.
To motivate good--

261
00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:53,183
Listening is not a favor.

262
00:14:53,266 --> 00:14:56,600
When you listen, you get knowledge,
not a carnival prize.

263
00:14:56,683 --> 00:15:02,516
We have a chance to go to Magic--

264
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:03,933
Ew. What was that?

265
00:15:04,016 --> 00:15:06,600
Peanut butter and ham.
My dad overslept.

266
00:15:10,558 --> 00:15:14,475
Okay, well, we're out of time,
so let's wish Mrs. Salinas well. Bye-bye.

267
00:15:14,558 --> 00:15:17,141
- But, I-- The class is--
- No, no. I know. Out we go.

268
00:15:17,225 --> 00:15:19,725
- Better luck with your own kid.
- Okay, guys, see you in--

269
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:28,600
Moving on. It's Friday. That means
one student has to take home a class pet.

270
00:15:28,683 --> 00:15:31,475
- What's this now?
- Uh, we don't do that here.

271
00:15:31,558 --> 00:15:32,766
Not anymore.
No way.

272
00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:36,933
In my classroom,
you will learn responsibility.

273
00:15:37,016 --> 00:15:40,891
You will feed it properly
and return it in healthy condition.

274
00:15:40,975 --> 00:15:41,975
Alive.

275
00:15:42,391 --> 00:15:44,558
Do we have a volunteer?

276
00:15:46,266 --> 00:15:49,183
- Come on. Somebody raise your hand.
- What?

277
00:15:49,266 --> 00:15:53,558
Remember what happens at the kids' houses?
They forget to feed you or abuse you.

278
00:15:57,016 --> 00:15:58,975
It'll grow back.

279
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:09,891
- Yeesh.
- Hey, it looked cool in the '90s.

280
00:16:09,975 --> 00:16:12,641
I'm waiting.
Volunteer, please.

281
00:16:12,725 --> 00:16:14,766
Don't you get it?
This is my shot.

282
00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:18,183
So I go with one of these kids,
case the house for open windows,

283
00:16:18,266 --> 00:16:20,558
then when I'm alone, zip!
I escape.

284
00:16:20,641 --> 00:16:25,100
- Ha. You couldn't zip when you were 20.
- I'm zipping. And then I really live.

285
00:16:25,183 --> 00:16:28,808
Maybe climb a tree. Swim in a sewer.
See the Everglades.

286
00:16:28,891 --> 00:16:32,433
The Everglades?
With those untamed animals? Are you nuts?

287
00:16:32,516 --> 00:16:35,141
You know they don't even
have names, right? It's anarchy.

288
00:16:35,225 --> 00:16:37,850
You think a rock potato like you
can survive there?

289
00:16:37,933 --> 00:16:40,725
- Your last days will be in a beer can.
- Let's go.

290
00:16:40,808 --> 00:16:43,350
Who's gonna take on some responsibility?

291
00:16:43,433 --> 00:16:46,016
- Or do I have to pick?
- Well, if no one else will...

292
00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:48,641
I don't want them to feel not wanted.
Everybody wants to fit in

293
00:16:48,725 --> 00:16:51,600
and shouldn't be judged
on looks, species, foreheads.

294
00:16:51,683 --> 00:16:53,725
I have to go indoor skydiving tomorrow,

295
00:16:53,808 --> 00:16:56,141
but my father'll be home,
so if it's okay to--

296
00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:57,725
- Pick one!
- Okay, the lizard!

297
00:17:07,433 --> 00:17:11,683
Listen, when you're out there in the wild
and those animals come after you,

298
00:17:11,766 --> 00:17:15,225
remember to change your colors
and blend in!

299
00:17:15,308 --> 00:17:19,266
- That's chameleons. I'm not a chameleon.
- Oh, well, then you're a dead man.

300
00:17:22,350 --> 00:17:25,433
Tomorrow's indoor skydiving.
We have to get ready.

301
00:17:25,516 --> 00:17:28,100
It's exactly like skydiving,
except you can't get hurt.

302
00:17:28,183 --> 00:17:30,350
Okay, we have a busy weekend.

303
00:17:30,433 --> 00:17:33,725
Do I have to wear a dress to Grandma's?
It'll be pants weather on Sunday.

304
00:17:33,808 --> 00:17:37,558
Jayda said the word "puke".
She said it wasn’t a curse word. Is it?

305
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:40,683
I feel bad leaving him.
Nobody wants him near the dinner table.

306
00:17:40,766 --> 00:17:42,391
He's good with his water.
Back soon!

307
00:17:42,475 --> 00:17:45,433
Kayla, don't look scared of him.
That's being mean.

308
00:17:55,225 --> 00:17:56,516
It's on.

309
00:18:15,433 --> 00:18:16,475
Yeah.

310
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:29,516
He's nice, the new kid Kabir,
but he doesn't talk a lot,

311
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,850
at least not with me.
Maybe he's shy since...

312
00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:40,600
Then I burned my tongue.
It didn't, like, burn off completely,

313
00:18:40,683 --> 00:18:43,850
or I couldn't tell you
how I ate my mozzarella sticks.

314
00:18:57,641 --> 00:19:02,058
Hey, Leonardo. You missed a great movie.
Tomorrow I'll take you down for breakfast.

315
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:06,225
I hope they have everything bagels left.
I don't know why we get sesame bagels.

316
00:19:06,308 --> 00:19:10,308
Mom asked me to try one, I was like,
"Why would you take off the poppy seeds

317
00:19:10,391 --> 00:19:11,266
and the salt..."

318
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,016
Wait, where are you?

319
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:16,058
This is a nightmare!
I'll be the kid who killed the lizard,

320
00:19:16,141 --> 00:19:17,975
no matter what I do in my life.

321
00:19:18,058 --> 00:19:21,225
Whether I do drama, be a doctor--
I'll never be a doctor now.

322
00:19:21,308 --> 00:19:24,350
I could work at the DMV.
Hopefully, the one next to Quiznos.

323
00:19:24,433 --> 00:19:27,391
I don't wanna go far from my parents.

324
00:19:27,475 --> 00:19:29,350
Mother of Godzilla!

325
00:19:29,433 --> 00:19:30,433
What was that?

326
00:19:31,475 --> 00:19:32,891
Well?
Who said that?

327
00:19:34,225 --> 00:19:38,391
The wall? Walls don't talk.
Why would a wall say anything?

328
00:19:38,475 --> 00:19:41,350
Why point to it?
They say, "If these walls could talk,"

329
00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:42,683
because they can't talk--

330
00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:44,600
The trophy!

331
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,308
You said something!
You just spoke! Mom!

332
00:19:47,391 --> 00:19:48,683
- No!
- You talked!

333
00:19:48,766 --> 00:19:49,850
You're talking!

334
00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:52,100
I'm telling Mom,
or people will think I'm crazy.

335
00:19:52,183 --> 00:19:55,100
I'll have to go to that school
in Tampa for kids with issues! I--

336
00:19:55,183 --> 00:19:57,725
But please, people can't know!

337
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,433
- Why are your hands wet?
- They're naturally moist.

338
00:20:01,516 --> 00:20:03,766
Please, I'm begging you to keep quiet.

339
00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:05,308
If people know I talk,

340
00:20:05,391 --> 00:20:07,891
they'll send me
to a scientist or something.

341
00:20:07,975 --> 00:20:10,516
- But I have to tell someone.
- Please.

342
00:20:11,683 --> 00:20:14,475
You're the only one
who can hear me.

343
00:20:14,558 --> 00:20:17,350
Oh. Then why are you whispering?

344
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:20,308
Because you were,
and it sounded fun.

345
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:24,350
Do all lizards talk?

346
00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:29,391
I don't know. I never met them all,
but we never talk to humans.

347
00:20:29,475 --> 00:20:32,850
- Why are you talking to me?
- Well, I didn't...

348
00:20:33,350 --> 00:20:37,058
Because I want to.
I think you're nice.

349
00:20:37,141 --> 00:20:39,016
Really?
Thanks.

350
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:42,433
I don't know if people think I'm nice.
It's so hard to read people at school.

351
00:20:42,516 --> 00:20:44,391
People say you're nice to be nice,

352
00:20:44,475 --> 00:20:47,058
and if they say you're nice,
you'll think they're cool--

353
00:20:47,141 --> 00:20:48,141
I get it.

354
00:20:48,225 --> 00:20:50,183
You say "I get it" a lot.

355
00:20:50,266 --> 00:20:54,975
That's 'cause I understand things.
That's all. "I get it." I've been around.

356
00:20:55,058 --> 00:20:58,141
- Okay. I thought it was something else.
- Like what?

357
00:20:58,225 --> 00:21:01,683
- That you want me to stop talking.
- Oh. Wow.

358
00:21:01,766 --> 00:21:03,808
Really?
Like, "Wow, that's crazy"?

359
00:21:03,891 --> 00:21:08,391
No, more like, "Wow,
I didn't think you were that self-aware."

360
00:21:08,475 --> 00:21:11,891
I can tell. People are too nice
to say I talk too much,

361
00:21:11,975 --> 00:21:14,242
but I can tell from their faces
that I'm talking too much.

362
00:21:14,266 --> 00:21:17,475
Like, old people make this face.
And babies kind of look sleepy.

363
00:21:17,558 --> 00:21:21,266
And the bus driver's face is like,
"Stop." But I can't stop and I...

364
00:21:23,391 --> 00:21:25,933
Sorry, I'm listening.
Please, go ahead.

365
00:21:26,016 --> 00:21:29,058
<i>♪ I always just come out
And say whatever's on my mind ♪</i>

366
00:21:29,141 --> 00:21:31,850
<i>♪ People look okay with it
But maybe they're resigned ♪</i>

367
00:21:31,933 --> 00:21:34,641
<i>♪ I can't help saying more
They smile like they're enjoying ♪</i>

368
00:21:34,725 --> 00:21:36,850
<i>♪ You've no idea
How stressful it is to not know ♪</i>

369
00:21:36,933 --> 00:21:38,266
<i>♪ When my talking gets annoying ♪</i>

370
00:21:38,350 --> 00:21:40,641
I've seen a lot of kids who talk a lot.
They seem--

371
00:21:40,725 --> 00:21:43,475
<i>♪ I just continue talking
And it feels like things are fine ♪</i>

372
00:21:43,558 --> 00:21:46,558
<i>♪ Then I relax until I see that look
I take it as a sign ♪</i>

373
00:21:46,641 --> 00:21:49,100
<i>♪ They're mad I'm still talking
Or I'm loud or a bore ♪</i>

374
00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:52,683
<i>♪ So I worry that I've lost them
I'm scared, so I start talking even more ♪</i>

375
00:21:52,766 --> 00:21:54,891
Right. This is normal.
A bunch of kids--

376
00:21:54,975 --> 00:21:57,725
<i>♪ I feel like I lack the ability to tell ♪</i>

377
00:21:57,808 --> 00:22:00,308
<i>♪ When I'm not giving someone
A chance to speak ♪</i>

378
00:22:00,391 --> 00:22:01,891
<i>♪ And because of that, I get scared ♪</i>

379
00:22:01,975 --> 00:22:06,058
<i>♪ Then believe that I am
Not giving anyone else a chance to speak ♪</i>

380
00:22:06,141 --> 00:22:08,225
I said, "I get it!"

381
00:22:09,433 --> 00:22:12,100
I know I said "I get it" again.
I'm sorry.

382
00:22:12,183 --> 00:22:15,850
It's just that last one
wasn't even a rhyme, it was a repeat.

383
00:22:20,391 --> 00:22:23,225
<i>♪ So, like
You're comfortable in sharing ♪</i>

384
00:22:23,308 --> 00:22:25,516
<i>♪ 'Cause your parents let you prattle ♪</i>

385
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:26,683
They don't really like--

386
00:22:26,766 --> 00:22:30,391
<i>♪ But you shouldn't feel self-conscious
Like you're in a losing battle ♪</i>

387
00:22:30,475 --> 00:22:34,308
- Okay, but then how am I gonna--
- <i>♪ Maybe try to ask a question ♪</i>

388
00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:36,516
Ask a question?

389
00:22:37,016 --> 00:22:39,558
<i>♪ It's exhausting
Like a blink ♪</i>

390
00:22:40,058 --> 00:22:42,766
<i>♪ But the kids who are most popular ♪</i>

391
00:22:43,350 --> 00:22:49,516
<i>♪ Are the kids who want to know
What other kids think ♪</i>

392
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:53,600
Wow. It's not like I don't care
about the other kids--

393
00:22:53,683 --> 00:22:56,850
I know. It's great you're good
at talking about yourself.

394
00:22:56,933 --> 00:22:59,183
When people share stuff, they feel better.

395
00:22:59,266 --> 00:23:01,725
So if you get other kids talking
about themselves,

396
00:23:01,808 --> 00:23:05,266
they'll like being with you.
More than they do already, I mean.

397
00:23:07,016 --> 00:23:08,975
Five-second rule.

398
00:23:09,058 --> 00:23:11,725
Well, that was really nice.
Thank you.

399
00:23:11,808 --> 00:23:13,558
Oh, yeah.
Glad to do it.

400
00:23:14,391 --> 00:23:17,975
Hey, remember,
you can't tell anyone, ever.

401
00:23:18,058 --> 00:23:20,058
Or we won't be able to talk again.

402
00:23:20,141 --> 00:23:24,058
Okay. So I'm your special, secret friend?
That was a question.

403
00:23:24,141 --> 00:23:27,183
Uh, yeah. Sure.
And good question.

404
00:23:27,266 --> 00:23:31,058
- Thanks, Leonardo.
- Call me Leo. Less Ninja Turtley.

405
00:23:31,141 --> 00:23:33,516
Summer.
You need to get to bed, sweetie.

406
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,433
Mom, what's the square root of 91?

407
00:23:36,516 --> 00:23:39,058
What?
Please just get to bed.

408
00:23:39,641 --> 00:23:41,766
I don't mean just any question.

409
00:23:41,850 --> 00:23:43,600
Okay. Right. Got it.

410
00:23:47,266 --> 00:23:49,766
Find your new seats.

411
00:23:57,183 --> 00:24:00,808
Oh, back already?
You saw the whole world in one weekend?

412
00:24:00,891 --> 00:24:04,391
Wow. Hey, how were the Everglades?
How high was the Eiffel Tower?

413
00:24:04,475 --> 00:24:08,933
- What was the Pope like?
- Could you not do that on my pillow?

414
00:24:09,016 --> 00:24:14,516
Put those computers away. We will not
be studying our curriculum on toys.

415
00:24:33,558 --> 00:24:34,808
Russian judge.

416
00:24:37,058 --> 00:24:40,266
Slow down. No running.

417
00:24:40,350 --> 00:24:42,683
No eating the books!

418
00:24:43,391 --> 00:24:45,725
Oh, Coach Kimura.

419
00:24:45,808 --> 00:24:48,391
Oh, I apologize. Let me...
Let me clean that for you.

420
00:24:52,933 --> 00:24:54,100
There we go.

421
00:24:54,183 --> 00:24:58,766
This is so unfair. Ugh!
She'll work us till we have no energy.

422
00:24:58,850 --> 00:25:01,100
Then we'll only get into schools
with drug problems.

423
00:25:01,183 --> 00:25:03,641
Forget about winning the trip.
This is a nightmare.

424
00:25:03,725 --> 00:25:05,475
It's worse than when I lost my phone.

425
00:25:05,558 --> 00:25:07,558
Worse than when my dad wore bike shorts.

426
00:25:07,641 --> 00:25:10,681
Worse than when I got lost on a plane,
which is hard to do, but really scary.

427
00:25:10,725 --> 00:25:13,600
Like a horror movie,
though my parents won't let me watch them,

428
00:25:13,683 --> 00:25:16,308
unless you count the furnace
in Toy Story 3, but that--

429
00:25:17,850 --> 00:25:19,933
Oh. What should we do about it, Jayda?

430
00:25:21,183 --> 00:25:24,975
I'm totally telling my parents about it.
My dad has a lot of pull,

431
00:25:25,058 --> 00:25:26,933
because he gives the teachers
free zit cream,

432
00:25:27,016 --> 00:25:28,600
but you should tell yours too.

433
00:25:28,683 --> 00:25:30,766
Why are you talking to Summer?

434
00:25:30,850 --> 00:25:33,516
- I like her now.
- Uh, I know. I do too.

435
00:25:38,433 --> 00:25:42,141
- What was that all about?
- She likes me. She thought I was fun.

436
00:25:42,225 --> 00:25:45,600
You fun? What'd you do,
turn your head more than once?

437
00:25:45,683 --> 00:25:46,683
Oh, what a showman.

438
00:25:46,766 --> 00:25:48,683
Get all your mean jokes in now,

439
00:25:48,766 --> 00:25:51,683
'cause the next kid
who takes me home is the last kid.

440
00:25:51,766 --> 00:25:53,683
Sure they are, Mr. Chicken-to-leave.

441
00:25:53,766 --> 00:25:56,141
Whatever you say, Mr. Wants-to-get-bitten.

442
00:25:56,225 --> 00:25:59,558
Oh, I'm shaking,
Mr. Almost-as-brave-as-Scooby Doo.

443
00:26:03,433 --> 00:26:06,683
Duck, duck, duck, goose!

444
00:26:06,766 --> 00:26:10,558
Ow! Okay. Okay.
All right! That's not the game. Kids!

445
00:26:10,641 --> 00:26:15,225
...the Stamp Act. Eyes up here!
For those of you who did the reading...

446
00:26:15,308 --> 00:26:18,683
- Salinas never taught this stuff.
- Yeah. What's a stamp?

447
00:26:18,766 --> 00:26:20,600
...the first tax levied directly

448
00:26:20,683 --> 00:26:22,563
on American colonists
by the British Parliament.

449
00:26:22,641 --> 00:26:25,975
Skyler, what did I just say?

450
00:26:28,100 --> 00:26:30,850
Answer!
How did the colonists react?

451
00:26:36,683 --> 00:26:37,683
Demerits!

452
00:26:42,475 --> 00:26:46,183
You do not want demerits.

453
00:26:46,266 --> 00:26:49,308
- What's a demerit?
- I think he played for the Clippers.

454
00:26:49,391 --> 00:26:52,141
You're going to leave 5th grade
with discipline,

455
00:26:52,225 --> 00:26:54,808
or you are never going to leave 5th grade.

456
00:26:55,391 --> 00:26:56,891
Eh.

457
00:26:56,975 --> 00:27:00,433
Who has the discipline
to take a class pet home this weekend?

458
00:27:01,683 --> 00:27:03,850
I'll do it.
I'll take Leo again.

459
00:27:03,933 --> 00:27:05,058
"Leo"?

460
00:27:05,766 --> 00:27:08,725
Again?
Who would want it twice?

461
00:27:16,891 --> 00:27:20,016
Not one of you is man enough
for middle school, are you?

462
00:27:20,100 --> 00:27:23,225
Ugh. Not now. I'll take the lizard.

463
00:27:29,058 --> 00:27:32,558
Oh, you'll have so much fun with Leo, Eli.
You think, maybe, I can visit?

464
00:27:32,641 --> 00:27:35,725
Really? That'd be great.
Zane's coming, but we can all hang--

465
00:27:58,683 --> 00:28:00,183
You kids having a fun play date?

466
00:28:01,475 --> 00:28:02,475
Uh...

467
00:28:02,975 --> 00:28:03,975
Sure.

468
00:28:26,183 --> 00:28:28,891
Sorry about those chips, Zaney.
Can't be too careful.

469
00:28:28,975 --> 00:28:30,516
Have a kale cupcake.

470
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,183
Do I have to wear the safety suit
all weekend?

471
00:28:33,266 --> 00:28:34,975
Lizards carry disease, honey.

472
00:28:35,058 --> 00:28:37,850
Kids and dogs are especially vulnerable.

473
00:28:50,350 --> 00:28:53,308
Um, I think my mom wants to pick me up.

474
00:28:56,183 --> 00:28:59,808
- Thank you, Julie!
- They had the best time.

475
00:29:03,516 --> 00:29:06,766
Could you go cut his chicken
into non-chokeable pieces?

476
00:29:21,558 --> 00:29:23,058
Hey.

477
00:29:45,225 --> 00:29:47,058
Ow!

478
00:30:06,350 --> 00:30:09,058
Ha-ha.

479
00:30:16,725 --> 00:30:18,058
What?
It'll grow back.

480
00:30:18,141 --> 00:30:21,808
You're dressed like a 1950s astronaut
and I'm the weird one?

481
00:30:21,891 --> 00:30:25,183
Oh, now you're threatening me,
Doodlepoo? Do that--

482
00:30:25,266 --> 00:30:28,225
What?

483
00:30:30,975 --> 00:30:33,058
- What--
- Dinnertime, Eli!

484
00:30:34,850 --> 00:30:39,850
Eli, now! You need three hours
to digest your food before bed.

485
00:30:41,641 --> 00:30:44,225
This is totally crazy.
You talk?

486
00:30:44,308 --> 00:30:45,391
Just to you.

487
00:30:45,475 --> 00:30:47,683
- 'Cause, uh...
- I'm special?

488
00:30:47,766 --> 00:30:49,433
Uh, yeah, that's right.

489
00:30:50,058 --> 00:30:51,516
Oh. Okay.

490
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:55,350
But you can't tell anyone.
They'll try to kill me like E.T.

491
00:30:55,433 --> 00:30:58,766
But my parents told me when someone says,
"Don't tell anyone,"

492
00:30:58,850 --> 00:31:00,141
that's when I have to tell.

493
00:31:00,225 --> 00:31:03,558
Well, your parents are right,
but that's with strange humans.

494
00:31:03,641 --> 00:31:05,808
I'm just a strange lizard.
Okay?

495
00:31:05,891 --> 00:31:09,891
- Please don't tell. Especially him.
- The drone?

496
00:31:09,975 --> 00:31:13,308
No way. You saw what it did
to the Cheetos out there.

497
00:31:13,391 --> 00:31:15,558
I mean, it's nice that it's loyal.

498
00:31:15,641 --> 00:31:18,266
Come on. When I was six,
kids thought it was cool.

499
00:31:18,350 --> 00:31:22,641
- Maybe you should say something about it.
- I don't want to hurt its feelings.

500
00:31:23,433 --> 00:31:27,100
I know a way.
I've seen kids break up over the years.

501
00:31:27,183 --> 00:31:29,516
You write down why you're dumping them,

502
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:33,058
and it gives the other person time
to soak it in and not snap.

503
00:31:33,141 --> 00:31:35,141
It's a "Dear Drone" letter.

504
00:31:35,225 --> 00:31:36,558
Get a pen and paper.

505
00:31:49,100 --> 00:31:53,100
<i>♪ When you hover over me all day ♪</i>

506
00:31:54,016 --> 00:31:58,766
<i>♪ I feel safe, but also feel
My social life melting away ♪</i>

507
00:31:58,850 --> 00:32:02,891
<i>♪ I'm not saying
That your caring is a crime ♪</i>

508
00:32:03,391 --> 00:32:08,350
<i>♪ I'd just like to wipe my own butt
From time to time ♪</i>

509
00:32:08,433 --> 00:32:12,058
<i>♪ And I think that you could
Make new friends ♪</i>

510
00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:17,933
<i>♪ Like the 3-D printer in graphic arts ♪</i>

511
00:32:18,016 --> 00:32:22,766
<i>♪ Or the Theragun massager
Or the yellow Cuisinart ♪</i>

512
00:32:22,850 --> 00:32:26,933
<i>♪ I'm not saying
I don't like you, Mr. Drone ♪</i>

513
00:32:27,641 --> 00:32:32,683
<i>♪ I just want to have the smallest hope
Just visible in a microscope ♪</i>

514
00:32:32,766 --> 00:32:34,350
<i>♪ Of somehow ♪</i>

515
00:32:35,891 --> 00:32:39,016
<i>♪ Not dying alone ♪</i>

516
00:33:19,308 --> 00:33:22,016
He's just doing it for show. See?

517
00:33:22,100 --> 00:33:23,891
He knows he's recyclable.

518
00:33:25,975 --> 00:33:27,933
Let's just give him some space.

519
00:33:28,016 --> 00:33:30,350
Nobody's ever gonna like me like he does.

520
00:33:30,433 --> 00:33:34,558
Kid, they don't even know you.
Now you can finally show your stuff.

521
00:33:34,641 --> 00:33:36,933
Uh, I don't have any stuff.

522
00:33:37,016 --> 00:33:39,558
Ah, you just gotta find your gimmick.

523
00:33:39,641 --> 00:33:43,225
There was a boy in 1998, Mike Djokovic.

524
00:33:43,308 --> 00:33:46,641
He memorized all the words
to "Walkin' on the Sun."

525
00:33:47,725 --> 00:33:51,516
Smash Mouth? No?
Look, it's got a lot of words.

526
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,308
The point is,
plenty of kids have a gimmick.

527
00:33:54,391 --> 00:33:56,058
It's okay.
I got a few.

528
00:33:56,141 --> 00:33:58,808
- Uh, get me a caterpillar.
- For real?

529
00:33:58,891 --> 00:33:59,891
Trust me.

530
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:13,725
Oh, that's perfect.

531
00:34:13,808 --> 00:34:15,558
Okay, here we go.

532
00:34:15,641 --> 00:34:17,725
So gross!

533
00:34:17,808 --> 00:34:18,808
Wait.

534
00:34:19,516 --> 00:34:21,141
What the--

535
00:34:25,141 --> 00:34:27,391
Here, let me show you something.

536
00:34:28,350 --> 00:34:30,766
Eli, where's your safety suit?

537
00:34:31,558 --> 00:34:32,725
Try doing this.

538
00:34:48,558 --> 00:34:51,683
Very good.

539
00:34:51,766 --> 00:34:52,933
Fore!

540
00:34:54,225 --> 00:34:56,909
- You nailed that thing.
- What was it? A possum?

541
00:34:56,933 --> 00:34:59,475
I don't know,
but you hit it in the jellybeans.

542
00:34:59,558 --> 00:35:01,558
Wanna quit and go home?
Can't top that.

543
00:35:13,433 --> 00:35:15,141
Not everyone's invited.

544
00:35:28,391 --> 00:35:29,766
Yes, I'm back.

545
00:35:29,850 --> 00:35:32,600
Where's your tail?
You escaping one limb at a time?

546
00:35:32,683 --> 00:35:35,975
Just give me some space.
I got hit in the jellybeans.

547
00:35:37,308 --> 00:35:38,766
I forgot that was there.

548
00:35:39,975 --> 00:35:44,641
Salinas was teacher of the year!
That substitute lady's unacceptable.

549
00:35:44,725 --> 00:35:47,808
Do the skin cream samples I give out
mean nothing to you people?

550
00:35:47,891 --> 00:35:50,350
How do I get that horrible woman replaced?

551
00:35:50,433 --> 00:35:52,808
Dr. Wenger, please.
She's sitting right here.

552
00:35:52,891 --> 00:35:55,433
- So?
- Jay, it's not polite.

553
00:35:55,516 --> 00:35:56,350
Fine.

554
00:35:56,433 --> 00:35:59,058
May I speak about you
as if you're not here?

555
00:36:03,350 --> 00:36:06,808
Listen, my kid was on track
to get into Westlake next year,

556
00:36:06,891 --> 00:36:09,475
Langley Prep in three years,
Dartmouth in seven years,

557
00:36:09,558 --> 00:36:12,058
then a moderately happy marriage
in 14 years.

558
00:36:12,141 --> 00:36:14,350
I paid for that smart board
and this light switch.

559
00:36:16,058 --> 00:36:18,891
If I'm letting you keep this animal
as her teacher,

560
00:36:18,975 --> 00:36:21,725
you're gonna do something
for me to fix this.

561
00:36:23,391 --> 00:36:26,933
Four seconds.
Three, two, one.

562
00:36:27,016 --> 00:36:28,225
Pencils down.

563
00:36:28,308 --> 00:36:30,225
Except Jayda,

564
00:36:30,308 --> 00:36:32,933
who will now be getting two more minutes

565
00:36:33,016 --> 00:36:36,600
due to her permanent jet lag.

566
00:36:36,683 --> 00:36:39,891
Quiet. No discussion.

567
00:36:39,975 --> 00:36:43,183
Now, one of you
has to take home a class pet.

568
00:36:43,266 --> 00:36:45,308
Volunteer or be assigned.

569
00:36:45,391 --> 00:36:46,558
I'll take Leo again.

570
00:36:46,641 --> 00:36:51,183
- What is the deal? Leo? Again?
- You can't take a pet twice, right?

571
00:36:51,266 --> 00:36:53,600
Because I would--
I mean, why do you want him again?

572
00:36:53,683 --> 00:36:57,058
Um, 'cause he was awesome.

573
00:36:57,141 --> 00:36:59,975
- Why do you want him?
- Uh, same reason. Awesome.

574
00:37:00,058 --> 00:37:02,308
Wait. If it's awesome, I want it.

575
00:37:02,391 --> 00:37:04,641
It's supposed to say, "Dr. Skin,"

576
00:37:04,725 --> 00:37:06,016
not "Dr. Skid."

577
00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:08,766
S-K-I-N.
No D's.

578
00:37:08,850 --> 00:37:11,266
Jayda, I dyed the cat green.

579
00:37:11,350 --> 00:37:12,558
So unoriginal.

580
00:37:12,641 --> 00:37:14,891
Isn't that great, what I got for you?

581
00:37:14,975 --> 00:37:18,058
- Drake's coming to my party?
- Eh, I'm still on it.

582
00:37:18,141 --> 00:37:20,975
I meant the pop quiz,
the two more minutes.

583
00:37:21,058 --> 00:37:23,891
- Who takes care of you?
- What did Daddy do?

584
00:37:23,975 --> 00:37:27,850
Well, Benji, Jayda's substitute teacher
is a horror show...

585
00:37:27,933 --> 00:37:30,308
Making the kids read big books.

586
00:37:30,391 --> 00:37:31,225
No!

587
00:37:31,308 --> 00:37:34,183
So Daddy got Jayda something
no other kid gets.

588
00:37:34,266 --> 00:37:35,266
What, Daddy?

589
00:37:36,308 --> 00:37:40,016
<i>♪ Extra time
The other kids are sweatin' ♪</i>

590
00:37:40,100 --> 00:37:43,766
<i>♪ All the answers they're forgettin'
All except for mine ♪</i>

591
00:37:43,850 --> 00:37:46,141
<i>♪ 'Cause my kid's got extra time... ♪</i>

592
00:37:46,225 --> 00:37:49,141
Should we put the lizard in my room?
The birthday party's coming up--

593
00:37:49,225 --> 00:37:53,183
- Not now. Daddy's bragging.
<i>- ♪ Lovin' that extra time ♪</i>

594
00:37:53,725 --> 00:37:57,975
Ugh. It's like the worst day of my life.
Nobody's focusing on my party.

595
00:37:58,058 --> 00:38:01,391
It's going to totally suck,
and the other kids will be happy about it.

596
00:38:01,475 --> 00:38:03,183
What?
Why would they be happy?

597
00:38:03,266 --> 00:38:06,516
Because they're all jealous.
Wait. What? Who said that?

598
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:07,683
That was me.

599
00:38:07,766 --> 00:38:09,683
- Oh my God! You talk?
- No, it's not safe.

600
00:38:09,766 --> 00:38:13,933
- You're the only one who can hear me.
- So awesome! We have a talking lizard!

601
00:38:14,016 --> 00:38:16,766
- I can only talk to you!
- Oh my God! Daddy!

602
00:38:17,891 --> 00:38:20,725
<i>♪ When you roll with Dr. Skin
You're a true VIP ♪</i>

603
00:38:20,808 --> 00:38:23,225
<i>♪ 'Cause rules do not apply to me ♪</i>

604
00:38:23,308 --> 00:38:26,891
- <i>♪ Gimme that extra time... ♪</i>
- You only talk to me 'cause I'm special?

605
00:38:26,975 --> 00:38:28,808
Uh, sure.

606
00:38:28,891 --> 00:38:31,558
That makes sense.
But can you do tricks at the party?

607
00:38:31,641 --> 00:38:34,016
Can you rap
and play the piano with your tongue?

608
00:38:34,100 --> 00:38:38,433
Nah, this is just between us.
I'm talking to you to give advice.

609
00:38:38,516 --> 00:38:42,475
- I don't need advice. I'm awesome.
- Nah, you're miserable.

610
00:38:42,558 --> 00:38:43,558
Wait, what?

611
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:47,850
Just like Emma Lawrence in '03,
Nina Myers in '55,

612
00:38:47,933 --> 00:38:50,725
all pretty, all rich, all bright.

613
00:38:50,808 --> 00:38:52,516
- So?
- Not done.

614
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,641
All snotty, all secretly hated.

615
00:38:55,725 --> 00:38:58,475
- People were jealous.
- Not of the snottiness.

616
00:38:58,558 --> 00:39:01,891
Look, people don't realize
the pressure someone like me is under.

617
00:39:01,975 --> 00:39:04,975
My family is so amazing,
so I have a lot more to live up to.

618
00:39:05,058 --> 00:39:08,183
I have to get into the best middle school
and have the best party

619
00:39:08,266 --> 00:39:10,225
and, yeah, only the best people around me.

620
00:39:10,308 --> 00:39:11,141
No, you don't.

621
00:39:11,225 --> 00:39:13,516
Ugh, you don't get
what being awesome's like.

622
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:14,600
But you're not.

623
00:39:14,683 --> 00:39:15,725
I'm what?

624
00:39:15,808 --> 00:39:16,891
Brace yourself.

625
00:39:17,433 --> 00:39:18,725
<i>♪ Not that great ♪</i>

626
00:39:20,058 --> 00:39:22,641
<i>♪ I know you guys are proud
But your house is kinda loud ♪</i>

627
00:39:22,725 --> 00:39:24,808
<i>♪ And your dad's a middleweight ♪</i>

628
00:39:24,891 --> 00:39:26,933
<i>♪ Your family's not that great ♪</i>

629
00:39:27,016 --> 00:39:28,016
A middleweight?

630
00:39:28,058 --> 00:39:30,850
- <i>♪ He's the face on these flyers ♪</i>
- <i>♪ You live in Fort Myers ♪</i>

631
00:39:30,933 --> 00:39:33,850
- <i>♪ Our countertops are quartz ♪</i>
- <i>♪ He gets paid to burn off warts ♪</i>

632
00:39:33,933 --> 00:39:35,141
<i>♪ Mom's like Britney Spears ♪</i>

633
00:39:35,225 --> 00:39:38,850
<i>♪ If you've had six or seven beers
I don't mean to denigrate ♪</i>

634
00:39:39,350 --> 00:39:41,641
<i>♪ We're not that... ♪</i>

635
00:39:42,516 --> 00:39:43,391
Great?

636
00:39:43,475 --> 00:39:46,225
You're great, but no one's that great.

637
00:39:46,308 --> 00:39:49,308
We're all just people and lizards.

638
00:39:49,391 --> 00:39:52,225
<i>♪ If you can take a step back ♪</i>

639
00:39:52,308 --> 00:39:55,433
<i>♪ See yourself for what you are ♪</i>

640
00:39:55,516 --> 00:40:00,683
<i>♪ You'll find that
You're an even brighter star ♪</i>

641
00:40:01,225 --> 00:40:04,683
<i>♪ So then, I'm not that great ♪</i>

642
00:40:04,766 --> 00:40:05,641
There you go.

643
00:40:05,725 --> 00:40:09,391
<i>♪ But I can feel that weight ♪</i>

644
00:40:10,225 --> 00:40:12,766
<i>♪ Coming off like heavy gear ♪</i>

645
00:40:12,850 --> 00:40:15,433
<i>♪ After 11 stressful years ♪</i>

646
00:40:15,516 --> 00:40:18,308
<i>♪ To my fellow average peers ♪</i>

647
00:40:18,391 --> 00:40:21,308
<i>♪ I can finally relate ♪</i>

648
00:40:21,975 --> 00:40:25,141
<i>♪ It's not bad at all to be ♪</i>

649
00:40:25,225 --> 00:40:31,641
<i>♪ Not that great ♪</i>

650
00:40:31,725 --> 00:40:33,808
Bravo.

651
00:40:33,891 --> 00:40:36,683
- Thank you. Great job, guys.
- Thanks.

652
00:40:37,933 --> 00:40:41,100
- Honey, maybe you wanna tip them?
- What? The watches?

653
00:40:41,183 --> 00:40:44,850
- Guys, you want some water? Anybody?
- No, that's okay.

654
00:40:44,933 --> 00:40:48,308
- Okay. Well, thank you.
- Yep. Thanks, Mr. Skin.

655
00:40:48,391 --> 00:40:50,558
- It's "doctor." "Dr. Skin."
- Uh-huh.

656
00:40:50,641 --> 00:40:52,975
Mom, Dad, do we have any more invitations?

657
00:40:53,058 --> 00:40:55,516
More? I thought we excluded
everyone you wanted.

658
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:58,141
Yeah, but we made a bigger list.

659
00:41:10,766 --> 00:41:13,725
- Hi, guys. I'm so glad you came.
- Thanks for inviting us.

660
00:41:13,808 --> 00:41:15,558
Of course.
How are you?

661
00:41:15,641 --> 00:41:18,475
Uh, wait.
I know this one. We're fine.

662
00:41:19,558 --> 00:41:22,225
That thing sounded like Cole.

663
00:41:22,308 --> 00:41:25,391
Wow. Zane is funny now?

664
00:41:25,475 --> 00:41:26,891
Zane was always funny.

665
00:41:26,975 --> 00:41:28,141
Like in 2nd grade,

666
00:41:28,225 --> 00:41:32,183
when he told Mrs. Lemos
that Superman came from planet Crouton?

667
00:41:34,266 --> 00:41:37,641
- Hey. You kids try the bubble guy yet?
- Dad, we'll get to the bubbles.

668
00:41:37,725 --> 00:41:40,475
This guy's next level.
He makes bubble animals.

669
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,725
Here you go. Next.
You're not holding it right!

670
00:41:47,350 --> 00:41:49,558
Jayda burgers.
Jayda taters.

671
00:41:50,058 --> 00:41:51,641
Jayda vegetables.

672
00:41:51,725 --> 00:41:53,641
Please don't do this.

673
00:42:09,266 --> 00:42:11,225
What're you looking at, boss?

674
00:42:11,308 --> 00:42:13,391
Got a problem with compact legs?

675
00:42:13,475 --> 00:42:14,475
What?

676
00:42:14,516 --> 00:42:17,266
You think you got it so great out there?
What do you do in the box?

677
00:42:17,350 --> 00:42:19,558
Uh, I molt.

678
00:42:19,641 --> 00:42:21,225
Occasional blinking.

679
00:42:21,308 --> 00:42:24,516
All right. I'm sorry, brother.
We're fighting the same fight.

680
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:27,850
I mean, the only fun I've ever had
was biting some of that guy's fingers off.

681
00:42:27,933 --> 00:42:31,058
I've asked you five times
to jump through this hoop.

682
00:42:31,141 --> 00:42:33,516
I'm just, uh...
I'm getting old, you know?

683
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:37,808
Ever feel like time's running out,
and this is all we're ever gonna know?

684
00:42:44,183 --> 00:42:47,808
Were you just talking to that horse?
Is he having a good time?

685
00:42:47,891 --> 00:42:48,975
I gotta tell you,

686
00:42:49,058 --> 00:42:52,141
the truth is,
no animal wants to be locked inside--

687
00:42:52,225 --> 00:42:54,808
Hey, Jayda. Hey, Leo.
I can't believe how much cool...

688
00:42:55,433 --> 00:42:59,933
Uh, I mean, hey, just Jayda,
are you having a good time?

689
00:43:00,016 --> 00:43:02,891
Thanks for asking me.
My parents never ask.

690
00:43:02,975 --> 00:43:05,016
They just assume I'm having a good time,

691
00:43:05,100 --> 00:43:07,600
'cause they still don't realize
they aren't that great.

692
00:43:08,391 --> 00:43:11,850
- What would make you have a better time?
- Good question.

693
00:43:17,558 --> 00:43:19,808
<i>♪ If you're The Supreme
Then I'm Diana Ross... ♪</i>

694
00:43:22,308 --> 00:43:24,516
<i>♪ Drop it down low and take it back high ♪</i>

695
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,183
<i>♪ No, I don't need introduction ♪</i>

696
00:43:26,266 --> 00:43:29,975
<i>♪ Follow my simple instruction
Wind to the left, sway to the right... ♪</i>

697
00:43:30,058 --> 00:43:33,475
- Okay. Standard magnetic lock.
- Circuits are cross-current.

698
00:43:33,558 --> 00:43:35,683
- Jumper cables. Balloon.
- Right here.

699
00:43:41,975 --> 00:43:43,891
<i>♪ Yo... ♪</i>

700
00:43:55,058 --> 00:43:58,225
<i>♪ Wind to the left, sway to the right... ♪</i>

701
00:43:58,308 --> 00:44:01,308
This is so fun!

702
00:44:01,391 --> 00:44:03,850
I specifically said
"no mayhem!"

703
00:44:03,933 --> 00:44:06,558
<i>♪ Sway to the right... ♪</i>

704
00:44:07,058 --> 00:44:09,475
<i>♪ No, I don't need introduction... ♪</i>

705
00:44:18,308 --> 00:44:19,850
<i>♪ True feeling... ♪</i>

706
00:44:22,683 --> 00:44:24,683
- Thanks, PJ.
- Uh, TJ.

707
00:44:24,766 --> 00:44:28,266
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- It's cool. Jacked about the eye contact.

708
00:44:31,391 --> 00:44:34,100
<i>♪ True feeling... ♪</i>

709
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:41,975
Stop that stopwatch.
He's got my wallet.

710
00:44:45,891 --> 00:44:51,391
<i>♪ And I still remember that night
In September ♪</i>

711
00:44:51,475 --> 00:44:54,391
You made it happen, boss.
Greatest day ever.

712
00:44:55,058 --> 00:44:57,641
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Leo! Where's Leo?

713
00:44:57,725 --> 00:45:01,850
- Did someone take him?
- Please, somebody find him. Leo!

714
00:45:01,933 --> 00:45:06,058
Leo! Leo! Leo!

715
00:45:08,058 --> 00:45:10,308
You're not holding it right!

716
00:45:10,391 --> 00:45:14,558
- Leo! Leo!
- Where is he?

717
00:45:14,641 --> 00:45:16,391
Leo!

718
00:45:16,475 --> 00:45:18,016
Leo!

719
00:45:18,100 --> 00:45:20,558
You guys are really into that lizard.

720
00:45:20,641 --> 00:45:22,183
He's just awesome.

721
00:45:24,433 --> 00:45:26,100
Cheese!

722
00:45:28,183 --> 00:45:31,475
- I had so much fun at the party.
- Did you get a bubble animal?

723
00:45:31,558 --> 00:45:32,975
Camel went on the waterslide.

724
00:45:37,475 --> 00:45:41,600
- Again? Whatever happened to zipping?
- Oh, you'll know when I zip.

725
00:45:41,683 --> 00:45:44,475
I'll be in the Everglades
dining on maggots

726
00:45:44,558 --> 00:45:46,558
you can only dream about.

727
00:45:49,725 --> 00:45:52,284
You were fun, Leo. I'll miss you.

728
00:45:52,308 --> 00:45:55,350
If Santa Claus has 39 elves

729
00:45:55,433 --> 00:45:57,683
making 1,981 toys an hour...

730
00:45:57,766 --> 00:46:00,850
Freezing here.
How about giving a guy some shell?

731
00:46:00,933 --> 00:46:03,933
Wait. Ho, ho, Mr. Popular,
now you wanna come in here with me?

732
00:46:04,016 --> 00:46:05,683
It's 65 degrees.

733
00:46:05,766 --> 00:46:08,475
These Central Florida winters are brutal.

734
00:46:08,558 --> 00:46:10,475
Just a couple of minutes.

735
00:46:10,558 --> 00:46:12,933
Hey, hey!
At least buy me dinner first.

736
00:46:13,016 --> 00:46:15,516
Wait.
Are those my baseball cards?

737
00:46:32,308 --> 00:46:33,433
Call me.

738
00:46:37,558 --> 00:46:39,391
You're talking to them.

739
00:46:39,475 --> 00:46:42,475
- That's why you keep coming back.
- What? No.

740
00:46:42,558 --> 00:46:43,725
Just a little bit.

741
00:46:43,808 --> 00:46:46,516
No, no, no, no. There is no little bit.
We don't talk to them.

742
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:50,183
These kids are all benefiting
from my insights before I drop dead.

743
00:46:50,266 --> 00:46:53,766
- Okay, so it's about your ego.
- That's not what this is.

744
00:46:55,433 --> 00:47:00,683
It's about sharing my 74 years of wisdom
to help these kids with their issues.

745
00:47:00,766 --> 00:47:04,225
Whether it's breaking up with the drone
or having hand-me-down pants.

746
00:47:04,308 --> 00:47:05,891
Oh, boo-freakin'-hoo.

747
00:47:05,975 --> 00:47:08,475
I had to wear my sister's shell
till I was 16.

748
00:47:08,558 --> 00:47:11,266
I made a huge difference with that TJ kid.

749
00:47:12,475 --> 00:47:14,933
What? I don't understand.
That's normal.

750
00:47:15,016 --> 00:47:19,225
First one? Usually, it's in the front,
but very nice. You're growing up.

751
00:47:19,725 --> 00:47:21,641
No, no, no.
It's my dad.

752
00:47:27,433 --> 00:47:29,975
What's so funny?
I told him that Dave Connaire,

753
00:47:30,058 --> 00:47:35,308
in 1974, all of a sudden, grew a nose
the size of a Buick just like his dad's.

754
00:47:35,391 --> 00:47:38,850
And everybody still loved him,
'cause he was a cool kid, like you.

755
00:47:38,933 --> 00:47:41,975
And the next week,
Cole's problem was even tougher.

756
00:47:42,058 --> 00:47:45,725
You won't do sleepovers,
'cause you say things in your sleep?

757
00:47:45,808 --> 00:47:49,266
Well, if I'm not gonna tell anyone
about you talking to me,

758
00:47:49,766 --> 00:47:51,350
do you promise not to tell anyone?

759
00:47:51,433 --> 00:47:53,683
Yeah. Of course.

760
00:47:53,766 --> 00:47:55,475
This isn't my real voice.

761
00:47:55,558 --> 00:47:59,766
I really talk like this.
I can't let them know. I sound ridiculous.

762
00:47:59,850 --> 00:48:02,391
This is priceless.

763
00:48:02,475 --> 00:48:04,308
Well, I fixed it.
I told him...

764
00:48:04,391 --> 00:48:06,725
- You sound like a young Bee Gee.
- A what?

765
00:48:06,808 --> 00:48:08,433
How 'bout The Weeknd?
Know him?

766
00:48:12,558 --> 00:48:13,850
Yeah, like that.

767
00:48:14,683 --> 00:48:17,016
Last week, he sang at the winter recital,

768
00:48:17,100 --> 00:48:19,350
and I heard they went nuts.

769
00:48:20,850 --> 00:48:22,558
Nice job, Ms. Malkin.

770
00:48:22,641 --> 00:48:24,850
I'm sorry, was that praise?

771
00:48:24,933 --> 00:48:28,350
Keep it up,
and we may see more of you here.

772
00:48:28,433 --> 00:48:30,975
- The class did great.
- Did they win?

773
00:48:31,475 --> 00:48:33,933
Nah, kindergarten always wins.
Way too cute.

774
00:48:37,933 --> 00:48:40,475
And you should've seen me
last week with Mia.

775
00:48:40,558 --> 00:48:42,558
You mean Huggy?
The human cling wrap?

776
00:48:42,641 --> 00:48:45,016
Excuse me. She has a name.

777
00:48:45,100 --> 00:48:47,933
As you know,
her parents were recently divorced.

778
00:48:48,016 --> 00:48:51,100
Only two hours late today.
Very considerate.

779
00:48:51,183 --> 00:48:53,683
Are you letting him cut his own hair now?

780
00:48:56,266 --> 00:48:59,683
You can't watch the kids next weekend,
so me and Aurora can have

781
00:48:59,766 --> 00:49:03,183
Valentine's Day together?
I'm asking you one favor!

782
00:49:03,266 --> 00:49:06,350
You don't have any plans. Because I know.

783
00:49:06,433 --> 00:49:08,933
I'm sorry, but lizards do not talk.

784
00:49:09,016 --> 00:49:12,725
Parrots, macaws, songbirds,
and certain killer whales.

785
00:49:12,808 --> 00:49:15,641
Don't believe everything
you read on the Internet.

786
00:49:16,516 --> 00:49:18,558
Why would you only talk to me?

787
00:49:18,641 --> 00:49:23,266
'Cause you're nice. You're great
at school, answering all the questions.

788
00:49:23,350 --> 00:49:27,725
- I love to learn things.
- You're a lot quieter around your family.

789
00:49:27,808 --> 00:49:31,058
Don't you ever wanna let 'em see
how big that brain of yours is?

790
00:49:31,141 --> 00:49:33,683
My brother and sister think I'm weird.

791
00:49:33,766 --> 00:49:34,808
Really?

792
00:49:37,100 --> 00:49:41,183
- You just looked like my grandpa.
- Yeah? Is that a good thing?

793
00:49:41,266 --> 00:49:42,183
Uh-huh.

794
00:49:42,266 --> 00:49:44,558
My grandpa used to talk to me.

795
00:49:44,641 --> 00:49:48,600
He really liked science,
and he would ask me questions,

796
00:49:48,683 --> 00:49:51,558
even if he knew the answer.

797
00:49:51,641 --> 00:49:53,850
What?
He sounds like a great guy.

798
00:49:53,933 --> 00:49:57,558
He was my best friend.

799
00:49:57,641 --> 00:50:00,350
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I didn't mean to get that going.

800
00:50:00,433 --> 00:50:01,933
Please, kid, I hate that.

801
00:50:02,016 --> 00:50:04,891
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, no, no. Don't be sorry.

802
00:50:04,975 --> 00:50:06,975
Just stop.
I... I can't handle it.

803
00:50:07,058 --> 00:50:09,350
But my mom says it's good to cry.

804
00:50:09,433 --> 00:50:12,725
Not where I come from.
Here. Let me calm you down.

805
00:50:12,808 --> 00:50:15,558
I'll sing you a lullaby,
and you'll go to sleep.

806
00:50:16,308 --> 00:50:18,766
<i>♪ Don't cry ♪</i>

807
00:50:19,391 --> 00:50:21,808
<i>♪ Crying's for weaklings ♪</i>

808
00:50:22,558 --> 00:50:24,725
<i>♪ Don't cry ♪</i>

809
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:27,933
<i>♪ It's lazy and dumb ♪</i>

810
00:50:28,433 --> 00:50:31,141
<i>♪ Dry those tears ♪</i>

811
00:50:31,225 --> 00:50:33,933
<i>♪ They make you look ugly ♪</i>

812
00:50:34,433 --> 00:50:36,641
<i>♪ Suck it up ♪</i>

813
00:50:37,141 --> 00:50:39,641
<i>♪ You mustn't succumb ♪</i>

814
00:50:40,558 --> 00:50:43,100
<i>♪ Everyone's stuck ♪</i>

815
00:50:43,183 --> 00:50:46,475
<i>♪ With something they're stuck with ♪</i>

816
00:50:46,558 --> 00:50:51,891
<i>♪ Everyone's trapped
In something they hate ♪</i>

817
00:50:52,391 --> 00:50:55,016
<i>♪ What does it solve ♪</i>

818
00:50:55,100 --> 00:50:56,975
<i>♪ To blubber and... ♪</i>

819
00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:03,933
<i>♪ Why not be strong? ♪</i>

820
00:51:04,016 --> 00:51:08,433
<i>♪ Make the best of your fate ♪</i>

821
00:51:09,475 --> 00:51:11,808
<i>♪ Don't cry ♪</i>

822
00:51:12,308 --> 00:51:14,766
<i>♪ It's really annoying ♪</i>

823
00:51:16,100 --> 00:51:18,516
<i>♪ Turn off the faucet ♪</i>

824
00:51:19,016 --> 00:51:21,850
<i>♪ It looks bad on you ♪</i>

825
00:51:22,641 --> 00:51:25,100
<i>♪ I know it's hard ♪</i>

826
00:51:25,933 --> 00:51:28,808
<i>♪ I know you're troubled ♪</i>

827
00:51:28,891 --> 00:51:31,975
<i>♪ But we've all got problems ♪</i>

828
00:51:32,058 --> 00:51:35,225
<i>♪ So boo-freaking... ♪</i>

829
00:51:36,266 --> 00:51:41,975
<i>♪ Hoo... ♪</i>

830
00:51:47,266 --> 00:51:49,308
Whoa.
You scared me.

831
00:51:49,391 --> 00:51:52,350
<i>♪ Boo-freaking-hoo ♪</i>

832
00:51:52,433 --> 00:51:55,433
You're just doing
what my grandpa did,

833
00:51:55,516 --> 00:51:58,808
pretending not to know something,
so I can tell you what's right.

834
00:51:58,891 --> 00:52:01,891
Here.
Scientific research has established

835
00:52:01,975 --> 00:52:05,391
that crying releases
oxytocin and endorphins.

836
00:52:05,475 --> 00:52:08,933
These feel-good chemicals help ease
both physical and emotional pain.

837
00:52:09,016 --> 00:52:12,933
I didn't know how to help her,
so I just listened. And that helped.

838
00:52:13,016 --> 00:52:15,600
Wow. So you got this E.T. scam going.

839
00:52:15,683 --> 00:52:18,350
Got every kid thinking he's Elliott?
This will end badly.

840
00:52:18,433 --> 00:52:21,141
All I know is these kids'll remember me.

841
00:52:21,225 --> 00:52:24,058
Did you hear about
Hammy #3's funeral last week?

842
00:52:24,141 --> 00:52:26,683
- Hammy #3 died? Didn't know that.
- Exactly.

843
00:52:26,766 --> 00:52:30,308
They say the funeral was a snooze.
No one had anything to say.

844
00:52:30,391 --> 00:52:33,725
I liked that white spot over his ear.

845
00:52:33,808 --> 00:52:35,725
I liked the way he breathed.

846
00:52:35,808 --> 00:52:37,433
He gave me pinkeye.

847
00:52:37,516 --> 00:52:41,725
My funeral is gonna be packed
with fond remembrances and anecdotes.

848
00:52:43,391 --> 00:52:45,933
Yeah, good for you
and your last week's vocabulary words.

849
00:52:46,433 --> 00:52:49,891
And, buddy, that funeral
could come sooner than you think.

850
00:52:51,141 --> 00:52:53,725
- Me! Me!
- My turn with the Geico thing!

851
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:59,266
Have fun, Anthony!
Leo's awesome!

852
00:52:59,350 --> 00:53:03,266
These things heads grow back too?
Or just their tails? I'll figure it out.

853
00:53:03,350 --> 00:53:07,725
Oh, no. Call my next of kin.
This is how I want to divide my estate.

854
00:53:07,808 --> 00:53:08,808
Help me!

855
00:53:11,141 --> 00:53:12,766
- What?
- I got your back.

856
00:53:12,850 --> 00:53:15,933
- I couldn't let you do this one alone.
- What are you gonna do?

857
00:53:16,016 --> 00:53:18,975
You lay back. It's harder to hurt me.
I got the shell.

858
00:53:19,058 --> 00:53:20,725
What about giving advice?

859
00:53:20,808 --> 00:53:23,975
Oh, like I don't know anything?
I can do what you do.

860
00:53:26,558 --> 00:53:28,475
Mm.

861
00:53:28,558 --> 00:53:31,558
That was an incredible move!
What strategy!

862
00:53:31,641 --> 00:53:33,516
- Hey!
- ...starting to let his...

863
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:34,850
Go straight to his head.

864
00:53:34,933 --> 00:53:36,058
Hey, over here.

865
00:53:36,141 --> 00:53:37,641
- What?
- Ah!

866
00:53:39,266 --> 00:53:41,350
- Oh, come on!
- Forget that. I talk.

867
00:53:41,433 --> 00:53:43,808
Oh my God.
Grandma!

868
00:53:43,891 --> 00:53:46,308
No, no, no. Stop, stop.
Can't do that or we'll all die.

869
00:53:46,391 --> 00:53:49,100
- What? Why?
- I don't know. I... I'm telling you.

870
00:53:49,183 --> 00:53:52,308
- You... You'll die. Just shut up. Calm down.
- Oh, okay.

871
00:53:52,391 --> 00:53:56,100
Fix your phone later.
I'm a talking turtle. I picked you 'cause...

872
00:53:56,683 --> 00:53:58,016
"I like your style."

873
00:53:58,100 --> 00:54:01,808
- Take it down a notch.
- I got this. Now, tell me your problems.

874
00:54:01,891 --> 00:54:04,641
- What?
- I... I can fix your problems. I... I... I...

875
00:54:04,725 --> 00:54:06,725
I seen a lot of things
in that 5th grade room,

876
00:54:06,808 --> 00:54:08,433
and I can help.
So come on.

877
00:54:08,516 --> 00:54:11,266
I don't have any problems.
Other than I broke my phone.

878
00:54:11,350 --> 00:54:13,558
Ah-ha. Bully.
I get it.

879
00:54:13,641 --> 00:54:16,308
Come on. You're insecure, right?
Every class bully is.

880
00:54:16,391 --> 00:54:19,058
No. I don't know.

881
00:54:20,183 --> 00:54:22,725
You're sad, you got something
tearing you up inside.

882
00:54:22,808 --> 00:54:26,391
Just say it. I'm a talking turtle.
I can't tell anyone else.

883
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:30,683
Of course I'm a bully.
I don't know what else to do.

884
00:54:30,766 --> 00:54:36,016
- I'm just different. I'm not smart.
- Nah. Everyone's smart in some way.

885
00:54:36,100 --> 00:54:39,600
You're just afraid of trying
and looking not smart. That's textbook.

886
00:54:39,683 --> 00:54:42,058
- What's a textbook?
- You know what? Never mind.

887
00:54:43,141 --> 00:54:46,725
- I'm different in other ways too.
- There you go. Come on. Out with it.

888
00:54:47,975 --> 00:54:51,725
- You won't say anything?
- No. What is it? What's the sadness?

889
00:54:53,766 --> 00:54:56,350
I don't know how babies are made.

890
00:54:57,391 --> 00:54:59,391
Perfect.
That's very class bully.

891
00:54:59,475 --> 00:55:00,725
Tough on the outside,

892
00:55:00,808 --> 00:55:03,600
a self-hating pile
of cottage cheese on the inside.

893
00:55:03,683 --> 00:55:07,683
- Can you just tell me?
- Oh. About babies? Sure. Here we go.

894
00:55:07,766 --> 00:55:12,350
First, the daddy climbs
on the mommy's back while she's swimming.

895
00:55:12,433 --> 00:55:14,516
He reaches under the mommy
to find her cloaca.

896
00:55:15,183 --> 00:55:17,225
This goes on for about 24 hours.

897
00:55:18,183 --> 00:55:21,683
Then the mommy comes ashore, makes a nest,
and deposits eggs in the sand.

898
00:55:22,808 --> 00:55:25,600
My mom made eggs in the sand?

899
00:55:25,683 --> 00:55:28,016
Yes. So the fish don't eat 'em.

900
00:55:31,558 --> 00:55:35,016
I crushed it.
Totally fixed the kid's problem.

901
00:55:35,100 --> 00:55:38,391
The taping me up,
maybe it's 'cause he wants to keep me.

902
00:55:39,766 --> 00:55:42,016
Stop!

903
00:55:52,725 --> 00:55:55,766
You miss your friends
from being held back.

904
00:55:55,850 --> 00:55:58,350
Worried about being behind?

905
00:55:58,433 --> 00:56:02,641
This is a tough time,
but these are the best years. Believe me.

906
00:56:03,183 --> 00:56:05,433
Enjoy not knowing everything.

907
00:56:05,516 --> 00:56:09,100
Enjoy being a kid.
You're a good one.

908
00:56:09,850 --> 00:56:11,516
Do you miss being a kid?

909
00:56:12,641 --> 00:56:14,808
I'm just glad I'm still here.

910
00:56:17,350 --> 00:56:20,600
Okay, every one of you
has had a weekend with Leo here.

911
00:56:20,683 --> 00:56:25,683
So from here on, you'll be taking home...
What's the turtle's name again?

912
00:56:26,475 --> 00:56:29,516
Squirtle.
My name is Squirtle.

913
00:56:30,100 --> 00:56:31,433
I think it's Squirtle.

914
00:56:31,516 --> 00:56:32,725
Squirtle sucks.

915
00:56:32,808 --> 00:56:34,600
I beg your pardon?
Why?

916
00:56:34,683 --> 00:56:36,683
I don't know.
He just sucks.

917
00:56:37,766 --> 00:56:40,183
- I like Leo, though. He's nice.
- The best.

918
00:56:40,266 --> 00:56:43,766
- Yeah! Come on...
- Leo's better than that turtle.

919
00:56:43,850 --> 00:56:49,975
Oh, stop that noise. Stop it!
What is so special about this reptile?

920
00:56:53,016 --> 00:56:54,683
I like his skin.

921
00:56:55,183 --> 00:56:57,891
His skin is like my grandma's elbows.

922
00:56:57,975 --> 00:56:58,891
Uh, same.

923
00:56:58,975 --> 00:57:00,141
- Same.
- Same.

924
00:57:00,225 --> 00:57:01,933
- Elbows.
- Same.

925
00:57:02,016 --> 00:57:06,391
All right. If you all so desperately want
to take home that lizard again,

926
00:57:06,475 --> 00:57:08,016
you'll just have to earn it.

927
00:57:08,100 --> 00:57:11,266
I wanna get picked!

928
00:57:11,350 --> 00:57:14,016
We'll do our homework
and promise to bring it in.

929
00:57:14,100 --> 00:57:17,933
You will all make my class
a model of excellence,

930
00:57:18,016 --> 00:57:23,516
and even win that Academicathalon,
or it's the turtle for all of you.

931
00:57:24,433 --> 00:57:26,100
Yes! Thank you so much.

932
00:57:26,183 --> 00:57:29,891
Was this your dying wish?
To turn a bunch of brats against me?

933
00:57:29,975 --> 00:57:32,475
It's not about us.
It's about the kids.

934
00:57:32,558 --> 00:57:33,641
They're motivated.

935
00:57:33,725 --> 00:57:35,725
They're gonna finish the year strong.

936
00:58:13,183 --> 00:58:14,600
Yes!

937
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:25,433
Yeah, Louis Pasteur is the father
of microbiology.

938
00:58:25,516 --> 00:58:29,891
He discovered that dangerous
microorganisms could grow in open water.

939
00:58:44,183 --> 00:58:48,558
Wow! Well, now, that's impressive.

940
00:58:53,558 --> 00:58:57,933
Class 5-C, you're one step away
from going to Magic Land Park!

941
00:58:58,016 --> 00:59:01,308
How great a job has our teacher done?

942
00:59:01,391 --> 00:59:03,725
Bravo, Ms. Malkin.

943
00:59:03,808 --> 00:59:06,766
I know a lot of parents weren't happy
when I first brought you in,

944
00:59:06,850 --> 00:59:08,850
due to your rep as a miserable person.

945
00:59:08,933 --> 00:59:12,183
But if you win
the History Fair on Saturday, we'll--

946
00:59:12,266 --> 00:59:14,225
You'll prove all the doubters wrong.

947
00:59:14,308 --> 00:59:20,225
Well, Principal Spahn, in the classroom,
sometimes the old ways are the best ways.

948
00:59:20,308 --> 00:59:21,908
I can't believe it.

949
00:59:21,975 --> 00:59:25,016
Back to your posts.
No five-highing.

950
00:59:25,100 --> 00:59:28,100
- Oh, that pic is fire.
- Thank you.

951
00:59:28,183 --> 00:59:32,225
Hey, what is the deal? I've been waiting
for your next Jenga move for 30 minutes.

952
00:59:32,308 --> 00:59:34,641
Now did you make the costume
or did your mom?

953
00:59:34,725 --> 00:59:37,391
Tell the truth.
You know I won't tell anyone.

954
00:59:37,475 --> 00:59:39,600
I only talk to you.

955
00:59:39,683 --> 00:59:41,558
- What?
- Is that another phone?

956
00:59:41,641 --> 00:59:45,308
Uh, I don't know.
Uh, must be on Malkin's desk or something.

957
00:59:45,850 --> 00:59:46,933
Oh.

958
00:59:47,016 --> 00:59:48,725
- Hello?
- Come on.

959
00:59:48,808 --> 00:59:50,975
Leo, where'd you go?

960
00:59:51,058 --> 00:59:52,891
I... I'll be right there.

961
00:59:53,725 --> 00:59:55,100
Leo?

962
00:59:56,183 --> 00:59:59,058
- Hello?
- Hey, pal, toss it here. I'll handle it.

963
00:59:59,141 --> 01:00:01,975
Can you hear me?

964
01:00:02,058 --> 01:00:03,391
Leo?

965
01:00:03,475 --> 01:00:06,058
Yeah, I think Malkin
must have an extra phone.

966
01:00:06,141 --> 01:00:08,433
Anywho, what did Summer say?

967
01:00:08,516 --> 01:00:11,891
Oh my God,
you can't all play Jackie Kennedy.

968
01:00:11,975 --> 01:00:14,975
And, like,
we so wanna slay this History Fair.

969
01:00:15,058 --> 01:00:18,391
I know. That Magic Land Park trip
would be awesome.

970
01:00:18,475 --> 01:00:21,600
Hey, you're awesome
because you tried your best.

971
01:00:21,683 --> 01:00:23,992
That's why I'm your special friend?

972
01:00:24,016 --> 01:00:25,766
Yeah.

973
01:00:27,016 --> 01:00:30,391
You talk to Skyler too?

974
01:00:31,266 --> 01:00:33,516
I... I just...
Only because she--

975
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:36,433
That's Summer's phone in there,
right behind yours.

976
01:00:41,683 --> 01:00:44,641
- You happy now? For ruining this?
- I don't know what happened.

977
01:00:44,725 --> 01:00:47,308
I... I must've butt-dialed ya.
I mean, butt-shot ya.

978
01:00:47,391 --> 01:00:48,891
You don't even have a butt.

979
01:00:48,975 --> 01:00:50,558
How dare you?

980
01:00:51,933 --> 01:00:55,558
- You talk to all of us?
- You said I was the only one.

981
01:00:55,641 --> 01:00:57,350
You said I was the only one.

982
01:00:57,433 --> 01:01:00,350
- I thought I was special.
- You're all special. I--

983
01:01:02,433 --> 01:01:04,600
I'm sorry! I just...

984
01:01:04,683 --> 01:01:08,725
Seeing you guys getting along
and doing great in class,

985
01:01:08,808 --> 01:01:11,933
it felt like
I was actually making a difference.

986
01:01:12,016 --> 01:01:15,475
You did. This year would've been
a nightmare without you helping me.

987
01:01:15,558 --> 01:01:19,558
Ms. Malkin's so mean.
Talking to you made the class bearable.

988
01:01:19,641 --> 01:01:23,100
I was just worried if you all knew...

989
01:01:23,183 --> 01:01:25,141
...other people would find out.

990
01:01:25,225 --> 01:01:27,350
You told me not to tell anyone,
and I didn't.

991
01:01:27,433 --> 01:01:30,850
- Nobody did. Because we can keep a secret.
- Yeah.

992
01:01:30,933 --> 01:01:33,850
What, did you tell everyone
I shave my unibrow?

993
01:01:34,725 --> 01:01:36,016
Because I don't.

994
01:01:36,100 --> 01:01:38,933
Hey, the only one he told
about your unibrow,

995
01:01:39,016 --> 01:01:41,308
or that you still eat your boogers,
was me.

996
01:01:41,391 --> 01:01:43,641
- And I barely chuckled.
- What?

997
01:01:43,725 --> 01:01:44,766
I'm leaving.

998
01:01:45,266 --> 01:01:46,100
I tried.

999
01:01:46,183 --> 01:01:47,766
Wait, it's Friday.

1000
01:01:47,850 --> 01:01:50,141
Aren't you gonna take me home?

1001
01:01:50,225 --> 01:01:52,308
Summer, it's your turn.

1002
01:01:52,391 --> 01:01:54,558
Please, I'm so sorry.

1003
01:01:54,641 --> 01:01:57,891
How can we trust you now?
That was a question.

1004
01:02:00,516 --> 01:02:02,975
All right, what's everyone doing here?

1005
01:02:03,058 --> 01:02:05,600
Oh, you're leaving.
Good. Take the whole day off.

1006
01:02:05,683 --> 01:02:09,350
You need to rest up
for the history fair tomorrow. Go home.

1007
01:02:09,433 --> 01:02:11,808
Go. Shoo.
Come on, out you go.

1008
01:02:18,725 --> 01:02:21,475
You and I have a lot to talk about.

1009
01:02:23,808 --> 01:02:24,683
I don't understand.

1010
01:02:24,766 --> 01:02:27,850
I... I know I lied to the kids.
What did I do to you?

1011
01:02:27,933 --> 01:02:32,808
Excuse me, talking to my students
behind my back? Advising them?

1012
01:02:32,891 --> 01:02:35,808
Okay. I feel terrible,
but I was just trying to--

1013
01:02:35,891 --> 01:02:37,600
Undermine my methods!

1014
01:02:37,683 --> 01:02:40,850
Cheat me out of feeling
any satisfaction from their success.

1015
01:02:40,933 --> 01:02:44,850
What? They learned everything you wanted.
Why wouldn't that make you happy?

1016
01:02:44,933 --> 01:02:47,975
Don't think you can analyze me.
I'm an adult.

1017
01:02:48,058 --> 01:02:52,016
Not a shrieking brat who thinks
reading Canterbury Tales is torture.

1018
01:02:52,100 --> 01:02:53,141
It's not torture?

1019
01:02:53,225 --> 01:02:54,266
Quiet!

1020
01:02:54,350 --> 01:02:59,225
Asking me to be happy
when I have nothing but these four walls.

1021
01:02:59,308 --> 01:03:03,516
- What about your family?
- Excuse me, do you see any family?

1022
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:07,058
Oh. Uh, not unless you're related
to the gym coach.

1023
01:03:07,558 --> 01:03:10,516
- Those pictures are none of your business.
- Gotcha. Never saw 'em.

1024
01:03:11,266 --> 01:03:16,808
I put my whole life into teaching
just to be a mere substitute.

1025
01:03:18,100 --> 01:03:21,641
Never had my own class,
never got any respect.

1026
01:03:22,516 --> 01:03:23,933
<i>♪ Happy? ♪</i>

1027
01:03:24,891 --> 01:03:28,100
<i>♪ You want me to be happy? ♪</i>

1028
01:03:28,766 --> 01:03:31,558
Look, I also had dreams
that never happened.

1029
01:03:31,641 --> 01:03:34,641
Like seeing the Everglades,
or spreading Salmonella.

1030
01:03:34,725 --> 01:03:37,850
But this year,
I fell into something even better.

1031
01:03:37,933 --> 01:03:40,225
I really clicked with these kids.

1032
01:03:40,308 --> 01:03:45,600
Uh, maybe it helped, just a little,
that you're a talking animal?

1033
01:03:45,683 --> 01:03:48,308
Yeah, but also, maybe it's you.

1034
01:03:48,391 --> 01:03:51,558
'Cause I've seen subs come
through this school that kids love.

1035
01:03:51,641 --> 01:03:54,433
<i>♪ What about Mrs. Knight? ♪</i>

1036
01:03:54,516 --> 01:03:57,225
<i>♪ Nice to the kids
Didn't smell quite right ♪</i>

1037
01:03:57,891 --> 01:04:00,725
<i>♪ Remember Mr. Monk? ♪</i>

1038
01:04:00,808 --> 01:04:03,058
<i>♪ He was a closet drunk ♪</i>

1039
01:04:04,016 --> 01:04:07,391
<i>♪ This may have been before your time ♪</i>

1040
01:04:07,475 --> 01:04:08,808
<i>♪ Miss Losch? ♪</i>

1041
01:04:08,891 --> 01:04:11,225
A fine teacher.

1042
01:04:11,308 --> 01:04:14,266
<i>♪ She was mine ♪</i>

1043
01:04:15,183 --> 01:04:17,683
Wait, you were a student here?

1044
01:04:17,766 --> 01:04:21,391
You don't remember me?
I was a lot different.

1045
01:04:21,475 --> 01:04:22,808
I was...

1046
01:04:22,891 --> 01:04:24,725
<i>♪ Happy ♪</i>

1047
01:04:25,225 --> 01:04:27,141
Oh, wow. Yeah.

1048
01:04:27,225 --> 01:04:29,766
You were very sweet.

1049
01:04:29,850 --> 01:04:32,683
I was adorable.
And she...

1050
01:04:32,766 --> 01:04:34,850
<i>♪ She made you... ♪</i>

1051
01:04:34,933 --> 01:04:36,850
<i>♪ Happy ♪</i>

1052
01:04:36,933 --> 01:04:39,100
Yes, she did.

1053
01:04:39,183 --> 01:04:41,725
She made me feel like I could do anything.

1054
01:04:41,808 --> 01:04:44,100
And tell me, do you think she was...

1055
01:04:44,183 --> 01:04:46,600
<i>♪ Happy? ♪</i>

1056
01:04:46,683 --> 01:04:48,600
She made you her family.

1057
01:04:48,683 --> 01:04:51,933
That's what great teachers do.
Even substitutes.

1058
01:04:52,016 --> 01:04:55,350
With the little time they have,
they try to make a difference.

1059
01:04:55,433 --> 01:04:58,016
And that's what keeps them happy.

1060
01:04:58,100 --> 01:05:01,975
<i>♪ You can feel love
It's not the end ♪</i>

1061
01:05:02,058 --> 01:05:05,433
<i>♪ That smile you had can come back again ♪</i>

1062
01:05:05,516 --> 01:05:09,100
<i>♪ Just pull that stick out your tush
And take a cue ♪</i>

1063
01:05:09,933 --> 01:05:13,475
<i>♪ From teachers that preceded you ♪</i>

1064
01:05:13,558 --> 01:05:15,308
<i>♪ You're not alone ♪</i>

1065
01:05:15,391 --> 01:05:17,308
<i>♪ Make a home for them ♪</i>

1066
01:05:17,391 --> 01:05:19,891
<i>♪ And embrace your important role ♪</i>

1067
01:05:19,975 --> 01:05:22,141
<i>♪ In shaping them ♪</i>

1068
01:05:22,891 --> 01:05:26,725
<i>♪ Body and soul ♪</i>

1069
01:05:29,433 --> 01:05:32,850
- <i>♪ And you'll be ♪</i>
- <i>♪ And I'll be ♪</i>

1070
01:05:33,350 --> 01:05:37,391
<i>♪ Happy ♪</i>

1071
01:05:38,641 --> 01:05:42,850
- Well, that felt wonderful.
- I know you got it in you.

1072
01:05:42,933 --> 01:05:45,683
You're gonna get those kids
first place tomorrow.

1073
01:05:45,766 --> 01:05:48,850
- Oh, you're coming with me.
- No, please. They're mad.

1074
01:05:48,933 --> 01:05:50,891
Let... Let them focus on winning.

1075
01:05:50,975 --> 01:05:52,808
Well, I'm still taking you.

1076
01:05:52,891 --> 01:05:53,725
After they win,

1077
01:05:53,808 --> 01:05:56,891
we'll make sure they appreciate
all you were doing for them.

1078
01:05:57,850 --> 01:06:00,725
You know what?
You are special.

1079
01:06:04,850 --> 01:06:06,600
I couldn't sleep last night.

1080
01:06:06,683 --> 01:06:09,683
I couldn't stop thinking
about what Leo did to us.

1081
01:06:09,766 --> 01:06:12,850
Let's just not talk about Leo.
We're done with Leo.

1082
01:06:12,933 --> 01:06:15,183
We're ready.
We can win this thing ourselves.

1083
01:06:15,266 --> 01:06:18,891
Good morning, my dear students.

1084
01:06:22,891 --> 01:06:26,891
- They look confident.
- You sounded nice. Real warm.

1085
01:06:26,975 --> 01:06:29,183
Thank you.
I'll keep you posted when I can.

1086
01:06:34,933 --> 01:06:36,058
I'm Betsy Ross.

1087
01:06:36,141 --> 01:06:39,475
I designed the first American Flag
in 1776.

1088
01:06:39,558 --> 01:06:42,516
But I didn't just say
what I thought the flag should look like,

1089
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:44,933
I listened to others
to see what they thought.

1090
01:06:45,016 --> 01:06:47,558
The result was
the superior design we have today,

1091
01:06:47,641 --> 01:06:49,183
and also, people liking me more.

1092
01:06:50,475 --> 01:06:51,891
I'm Susan B. Anthony.

1093
01:06:51,975 --> 01:06:54,475
I played a pivotal role
in the women's suffrage movement

1094
01:06:54,558 --> 01:06:56,100
in the 19th century.

1095
01:06:56,183 --> 01:06:59,391
But I'm not that special or great.
And neither is my family.

1096
01:06:59,475 --> 01:07:03,600
So I can relate to average women
who couldn't vote until 1920.

1097
01:07:03,683 --> 01:07:06,891
I'm Winston Churchill.
"We shall fight on the beaches."

1098
01:07:06,975 --> 01:07:09,641
"We shall fight them
in the fields and in the streets."

1099
01:07:09,725 --> 01:07:11,058
"We shall never surrender,

1100
01:07:11,141 --> 01:07:13,808
but we shall let them down easy,
with a nice letter."

1101
01:07:13,891 --> 01:07:16,641
- "So they don't lose their minds."
- This is wonderful.

1102
01:07:16,725 --> 01:07:18,683
You've taught them life lessons.

1103
01:07:18,766 --> 01:07:21,308
I... I can't hear anything.
Can you open your pocket?

1104
01:07:21,391 --> 01:07:25,891
They burned me, Joan of Arc,
at the stake, but I am not afraid.

1105
01:07:25,975 --> 01:07:28,933
Boo-freaking-hoo!
Everyone's got problems.

1106
01:07:29,016 --> 01:07:32,516
I talked about it to a friend
and felt a lot better.

1107
01:07:34,016 --> 01:07:38,391
Aw, I think that friend is you.

1108
01:07:39,475 --> 01:07:43,683
Malkin's Marvels,
you're going to Magic Land Park!

1109
01:07:43,766 --> 01:07:46,808
Congratulations, class!

1110
01:07:46,891 --> 01:07:47,725
Yeah!

1111
01:07:47,808 --> 01:07:52,558
And to the first substitute
to ever win Teacher of the Year!

1112
01:07:54,558 --> 01:07:58,433
You'll be chaperoned
by Ms. Malkin and Coach Kimura.

1113
01:07:58,516 --> 01:08:00,475
Oh...

1114
01:08:00,558 --> 01:08:03,683
Is it over?
We win? When do I come out?

1115
01:08:03,766 --> 01:08:05,183
What's happening?

1116
01:08:06,225 --> 01:08:08,600
Ms. Malkin, can we go see Leo?

1117
01:08:08,683 --> 01:08:12,391
- Honey, it's about to rain.
- We can't go to our class for one second?

1118
01:08:12,475 --> 01:08:15,641
You know what the rain does
to my extensions.

1119
01:08:15,725 --> 01:08:18,808
I gotta say, I thought you were
some kind of a twisted animal.

1120
01:08:18,891 --> 01:08:22,516
A rabid, bitter bag
of mothballs foaming at the mouth.

1121
01:08:22,600 --> 01:08:27,516
But I've never seen my Jayda speak
like that. It's like she's, uh, nice?

1122
01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:28,933
That's our Ms. Malkin!

1123
01:08:29,016 --> 01:08:30,891
You really got to know our kids.

1124
01:08:30,975 --> 01:08:34,058
- What a special lady.
- Get this woman a full-time job next year.

1125
01:08:34,141 --> 01:08:36,308
Oh, I think we can arrange that.

1126
01:08:36,391 --> 01:08:38,600
She's helped Summer make friends.

1127
01:08:38,683 --> 01:08:40,883
Cole's proud of his voice,
thanks to you.

1128
01:08:40,933 --> 01:08:43,058
- How'd you do it?
- Well... You know...

1129
01:08:45,683 --> 01:08:48,141
That's, um... my stomach.
I... I better go.

1130
01:08:49,433 --> 01:08:51,766
She's not gonna make it.

1131
01:08:52,516 --> 01:08:54,516
What happened?
I couldn't hear nothing.

1132
01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:57,100
Did we win?
I thought I was gonna see the kids.

1133
01:08:57,183 --> 01:08:59,350
We're going somewhere very special.

1134
01:08:59,433 --> 01:09:01,350
We're all going to celebrate?

1135
01:09:01,433 --> 01:09:02,641
What, a pizza party?

1136
01:09:05,558 --> 01:09:07,808
Wow, this pizza's out in the boonies.

1137
01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:16,683
What's goin' on?
You're leaving me here?

1138
01:09:16,766 --> 01:09:18,225
What about the kids?

1139
01:09:18,308 --> 01:09:22,100
They lost. The class
embarrassed themselves and blamed you.

1140
01:09:22,183 --> 01:09:24,933
What?
What was all that cheering?

1141
01:09:25,016 --> 01:09:27,766
That was for the other class.
I'm sorry.

1142
01:09:27,850 --> 01:09:30,933
What did I do?
I've never felt so bad.

1143
01:09:31,016 --> 01:09:33,433
Don't say that.
You said the Everglades was your dream.

1144
01:09:33,516 --> 01:09:36,891
Now you can live it out, with no chance
of ever running into the children.

1145
01:09:36,975 --> 01:09:40,350
Or their parents.
Or the principal. Or the media.

1146
01:09:41,183 --> 01:09:43,016
I said it was my dream.

1147
01:09:43,100 --> 01:09:45,225
The kids are what I--

1148
01:10:13,683 --> 01:10:15,083
- What?
- Where is he?

1149
01:10:15,141 --> 01:10:17,141
- Is he hiding?
- He's not hiding.

1150
01:10:17,183 --> 01:10:18,016
He was here.

1151
01:10:18,100 --> 01:10:19,808
- You seen him?
- What happened?

1152
01:10:19,891 --> 01:10:23,058
What a shame.
He must've run away.

1153
01:10:31,933 --> 01:10:34,975
- He left us?
- Oh, look.

1154
01:10:35,558 --> 01:10:38,016
There seems to be some kind of note.

1155
01:10:38,100 --> 01:10:41,516
- Leo could write?
- Of course. He could talk.

1156
01:10:41,600 --> 01:10:47,016
Oh! He talked to you people too?
Oh, I thought I was special.

1157
01:10:49,433 --> 01:10:50,683
"Dear class."

1158
01:10:50,766 --> 01:10:53,600
"I've greatly enjoyed my time
with you this year,

1159
01:10:53,683 --> 01:10:57,308
but I wish to move on
and finally see the world."

1160
01:10:57,391 --> 01:11:00,975
"I realize I broke your trust,
and that can't be fixed."

1161
01:11:01,683 --> 01:11:03,433
"But if you would be so kind,

1162
01:11:03,516 --> 01:11:07,016
please keep our conversations secret,
so that I'm not harassed,

1163
01:11:07,100 --> 01:11:10,058
like E.T. or The Iron Giant, or Splash,

1164
01:11:10,141 --> 01:11:13,725
or the classic, The Shape of Water."

1165
01:11:13,808 --> 01:11:18,141
"Simply attribute your success
to Ms. Malkin,

1166
01:11:18,225 --> 01:11:21,683
whose integrity is beyond reproach."

1167
01:11:22,183 --> 01:11:24,183
"Best Regards, Leo."

1168
01:11:25,308 --> 01:11:30,350
Well, let's try and be happy for Leo.
He's doing what he wanted most.

1169
01:11:30,433 --> 01:11:32,933
But we never even got to thank him.

1170
01:11:33,016 --> 01:11:37,266
That's life, gang.
Life gets more difficult the older we get.

1171
01:11:38,475 --> 01:11:40,016
It's called growing up.

1172
01:11:45,183 --> 01:11:47,266
<i>♪ When I was ten ♪</i>

1173
01:11:49,183 --> 01:11:52,183
<i>♪ I didn't have a single care ♪</i>

1174
01:11:52,683 --> 01:11:55,558
<i>♪ And not a single body hair ♪</i>

1175
01:11:56,058 --> 01:11:58,600
<i>♪ And life was fine ♪</i>

1176
01:11:59,766 --> 01:12:02,891
<i>♪ When I was nine ♪</i>

1177
01:12:02,975 --> 01:12:06,100
<i>♪ We still left milk for Santa Claus ♪</i>

1178
01:12:06,183 --> 01:12:09,183
<i>♪ My mom was not in menopause ♪</i>

1179
01:12:09,266 --> 01:12:12,641
<i>♪ And life was great ♪</i>

1180
01:12:13,225 --> 01:12:15,558
<i>♪ When I was eight ♪</i>

1181
01:12:16,350 --> 01:12:19,308
<i>♪ I still could wear a size one shoe ♪</i>

1182
01:12:19,933 --> 01:12:23,641
<i>♪ I thought Big Macs were good for you ♪</i>

1183
01:12:23,725 --> 01:12:26,016
<i>♪ Yes, life was heaven ♪</i>

1184
01:12:27,558 --> 01:12:30,141
<i>♪ When I was seven ♪</i>

1185
01:12:31,891 --> 01:12:34,683
<i>♪ I knew some dirty words
But thought ♪</i>

1186
01:12:35,475 --> 01:12:38,350
<i>♪ That babies came out of Mom's butt ♪</i>

1187
01:12:39,183 --> 01:12:41,266
<i>♪ Like baby chicks ♪</i>

1188
01:12:42,558 --> 01:12:44,808
<i>♪ When I was six ♪</i>

1189
01:12:45,475 --> 01:12:48,683
<i>♪ My folks would fight
But I was chill ♪</i>

1190
01:12:49,183 --> 01:12:54,016
<i>♪ My grandpa and my gerbils
Were still alive ♪</i>

1191
01:12:54,808 --> 01:12:57,808
<i>♪ When I was five ♪</i>

1192
01:12:58,766 --> 01:13:02,558
<i>♪ I didn't care that people die ♪</i>

1193
01:13:02,641 --> 01:13:08,350
<i>♪ A haircut used to make me cry way more ♪</i>

1194
01:13:10,100 --> 01:13:11,891
<i>♪ When I was four ♪</i>

1195
01:13:13,641 --> 01:13:16,058
<i>♪ I didn't need to have a phone ♪</i>

1196
01:13:16,975 --> 01:13:22,933
<i>♪ They hadn't yet invented drones
To follow me ♪</i>

1197
01:13:24,183 --> 01:13:26,725
<i>♪ When I was three ♪</i>

1198
01:13:27,641 --> 01:13:30,516
<i>♪ I'd laugh for days when I was two ♪</i>

1199
01:13:31,183 --> 01:13:34,558
<i>♪ When someone said the word doo-doo ♪</i>

1200
01:13:35,433 --> 01:13:39,225
<i>♪ There were no rules when I was one ♪</i>

1201
01:13:39,891 --> 01:13:42,308
<i>♪ Except, don't fall ♪</i>

1202
01:13:42,391 --> 01:13:45,641
<i>♪ We just had fun ♪</i>

1203
01:13:46,225 --> 01:13:47,891
<i>♪ But that was then ♪</i>

1204
01:13:50,766 --> 01:13:56,433
<i>♪ When I was ten ♪</i>

1205
01:13:58,100 --> 01:14:00,350
Okay, everybody.
Be careful on the Dragon Coaster.

1206
01:14:00,433 --> 01:14:02,183
Wipe the chair and the safety bar.

1207
01:14:02,266 --> 01:14:04,975
Doesn't matter what the teacher says,
you call us every half hour.

1208
01:14:05,058 --> 01:14:07,391
And don't lick anything.

1209
01:14:07,475 --> 01:14:10,933
They tried to put the shift on Kabir
when he was up, but guess what?

1210
01:14:11,016 --> 01:14:13,350
- He can hit to right field too.
- Oh!

1211
01:14:13,433 --> 01:14:15,058
That is something.

1212
01:14:15,641 --> 01:14:19,558
- What do you think Leo's doing right now?
- I have no idea.

1213
01:14:31,850 --> 01:14:35,516
Sure, kids, why flip over
the musty old turtle before you leave?

1214
01:14:35,600 --> 01:14:38,933
Even though he knows the truth?
But no, everyone's gone!

1215
01:14:39,016 --> 01:14:41,266
Everyone but me and that pathetic...

1216
01:14:41,350 --> 01:14:44,100
Wait.
Where's the allergy kid's phone? Ah.

1217
01:14:47,641 --> 01:14:48,933
Ha.

1218
01:14:49,016 --> 01:14:50,016
Here we go.

1219
01:15:13,350 --> 01:15:15,558
There's no time for lettuce.
Flip me!

1220
01:15:16,225 --> 01:15:17,308
Okay, we gotta move!

1221
01:15:20,850 --> 01:15:22,308
Follow those brats!

1222
01:15:24,391 --> 01:15:26,183
Hey.

1223
01:15:26,266 --> 01:15:29,058
Shake it off, man.
You're freaking everyone out.

1224
01:15:38,016 --> 01:15:39,433
Okay, let's hit it.

1225
01:16:11,641 --> 01:16:13,141
Ouch.

1226
01:16:14,350 --> 01:16:17,308
This is our last field trip together.

1227
01:16:17,391 --> 01:16:19,183
Why does it feel like our worst?

1228
01:16:21,266 --> 01:16:22,391
What?

1229
01:16:31,725 --> 01:16:33,725
<i>♪ Now watch me nae nae
Okay ♪</i>

1230
01:16:33,808 --> 01:16:35,308
<i>♪ Now watch me whip... ♪</i>

1231
01:16:35,391 --> 01:16:38,058
- What is going on back here?
- She did it!

1232
01:16:38,141 --> 01:16:41,308
- Excuse me?
- I saw it. I saw the whole thing.

1233
01:16:41,391 --> 01:16:44,350
She took him out of the terrarium
after you guys left that day.

1234
01:16:44,433 --> 01:16:46,516
She took him,
and I wanted to say something,

1235
01:16:46,600 --> 01:16:47,808
but her and her vacuum,

1236
01:16:47,891 --> 01:16:51,475
they gave me the stink eye,
and I slipped on, uh, somebody else's pee,

1237
01:16:51,558 --> 01:16:54,141
and I flipped on my back,
and this whole thing is my fault

1238
01:16:54,225 --> 01:16:57,141
'cause I got jealous of my best friend
instead of being happy for him.

1239
01:16:57,225 --> 01:17:00,975
I used the camera phone to bust him,
but now I gotta bust you, Demeritface!

1240
01:17:01,058 --> 01:17:05,058
He's lying! This turtle can't be trusted.
He turned on Leo.

1241
01:17:05,141 --> 01:17:09,141
Come on. You all know Leo's
the reason you got this stupid trip.

1242
01:17:09,225 --> 01:17:11,391
He helped you
with your weird kid problems.

1243
01:17:11,475 --> 01:17:12,600
That's why you won.

1244
01:17:12,683 --> 01:17:16,350
He wanted to do something meaningful
with the rest of his pathetic time,

1245
01:17:16,433 --> 01:17:17,266
and he did it.

1246
01:17:17,350 --> 01:17:19,225
Why did you say, "The rest of his time"?

1247
01:17:19,308 --> 01:17:20,975
- He's dying!
- What?!

1248
01:17:21,058 --> 01:17:23,683
He's gonna be 75.
That's lights out for lizards.

1249
01:17:23,766 --> 01:17:25,183
- Oh, no!
- He's dying?

1250
01:17:25,266 --> 01:17:27,850
But does Demeritface care?
No!

1251
01:17:27,933 --> 01:17:30,641
All Demeritface wants is all the credit!

1252
01:17:30,725 --> 01:17:32,016
Another lie!

1253
01:17:32,100 --> 01:17:34,183
Then where is he, Ms. Misery?

1254
01:17:34,266 --> 01:17:37,100
Where's my best friend, Demeritface?
Where is he?

1255
01:17:37,183 --> 01:17:40,141
- Out with it, Demeritface!
- Where is he, Demeritface?

1256
01:17:42,850 --> 01:17:46,141
<i>♪ Watch me, watch me
Ooh, watch me, watch me, ooh... ♪</i>

1257
01:17:46,225 --> 01:17:50,475
- What did you do with him?
- Stop it! Stop it! Stop it now!

1258
01:17:58,558 --> 01:18:02,391
I took him, and I drove him away.

1259
01:18:02,475 --> 01:18:04,558
- That's crazy! Seriously?
- I can't believe you!

1260
01:18:04,641 --> 01:18:08,058
He's right, I wanted the credit.

1261
01:18:08,558 --> 01:18:10,350
I thought it would make me...

1262
01:18:10,850 --> 01:18:13,141
<i>♪ Happy ♪</i>

1263
01:18:13,225 --> 01:18:16,516
- He's gonna die thinking we're mad at him.
- Where did you take him?

1264
01:18:16,600 --> 01:18:19,266
The Everglades.

1265
01:18:19,350 --> 01:18:22,225
You sent him to the Glades?
That's a terrible neighborhood!

1266
01:18:22,308 --> 01:18:26,391
- Those crazy animals will rip him apart!
- Ms. Malkin, please help us find him.

1267
01:18:26,475 --> 01:18:28,433
We can't not see him again.

1268
01:18:34,933 --> 01:18:35,766
Hey there.

1269
01:18:35,850 --> 01:18:39,058
We need to change course.
We're going to the Everglades.

1270
01:18:39,141 --> 01:18:40,975
What?
We're going to Magic Land Park!

1271
01:18:41,058 --> 01:18:44,100
That's what the parents expect,
and that's where we're goin'.

1272
01:18:44,183 --> 01:18:46,558
Oh my, our first fight.

1273
01:18:57,600 --> 01:18:59,558
Thank you. I'm fine.

1274
01:19:00,891 --> 01:19:04,516
Children, we're going to Magic Land Park.

1275
01:19:15,475 --> 01:19:20,266
Thanks, but a little too murky for me.
How... How close are we to a drip tube?

1276
01:19:20,766 --> 01:19:23,308
Seriously, the microorganisms
will kill you.

1277
01:19:23,391 --> 01:19:24,766
A kid told me that.

1278
01:19:24,850 --> 01:19:27,100
You guys never heard of Louis Pasteur?

1279
01:19:41,433 --> 01:19:43,808
What the...

1280
01:19:44,391 --> 01:19:47,558
- Someone help me out here.
- Boss, is that you?

1281
01:19:49,475 --> 01:19:50,516
Wha-- What?

1282
01:19:50,600 --> 01:19:54,141
Hey, that's the guy!
The guy who set us free at that party.

1283
01:19:54,225 --> 01:19:56,225
That's the guy?

1284
01:19:56,308 --> 01:19:58,891
That's the guy.

1285
01:20:01,600 --> 01:20:04,850
I don't know what Grandma's thinking.
We'll save him on our own, let's go.

1286
01:20:09,350 --> 01:20:11,558
Get this guy some algae.

1287
01:20:14,183 --> 01:20:17,225
And some of you.

1288
01:20:17,308 --> 01:20:20,766
Boss, you're gonna love it here.
No trainers telling you what to do,

1289
01:20:20,850 --> 01:20:24,016
no bratty kids joking
about your compact legs.

1290
01:20:24,516 --> 01:20:26,308
But I miss those kids.

1291
01:20:26,391 --> 01:20:27,266
What?

1292
01:20:27,350 --> 01:20:30,516
They're not bratty.
You just gotta get to know them.

1293
01:20:30,600 --> 01:20:34,433
Like this one kid whose father's back
had a gorilla situation.

1294
01:20:39,266 --> 01:20:41,391
I got this.
You go back to the kids.

1295
01:20:44,516 --> 01:20:46,475
Hey, anybody see a buddy of mine?

1296
01:20:46,558 --> 01:20:49,433
He's green with bumps,
got a tail, wicked ugly.

1297
01:20:51,391 --> 01:20:53,266
Okay, moving on.

1298
01:20:57,183 --> 01:20:59,143
- We're here, y'all!
- Yes!

1299
01:20:59,183 --> 01:21:00,766
And I'm hungry.

1300
01:21:00,850 --> 01:21:03,308
- Let's do this.
- Hi, welcome to Magic Land Park.

1301
01:21:03,391 --> 01:21:04,975
- Okay. Let me get--
- A Cotton Dragon!

1302
01:21:05,058 --> 01:21:06,850
- A Wizard Puffs, please?
- Me too!

1303
01:21:06,933 --> 01:21:08,766
- I'll take a Unicorn Balls.
- Huh?

1304
01:21:08,850 --> 01:21:10,433
They're jawbreakers.
Please?

1305
01:21:10,516 --> 01:21:12,725
Okay, gang.
You getting all of this?

1306
01:21:12,808 --> 01:21:14,891
Oh, and I need one Fireblower hat.

1307
01:21:15,975 --> 01:21:19,058
Okie doke. Now we're ready,
am I right, kids?

1308
01:21:21,100 --> 01:21:22,600
Are you kidding me?
Hey!

1309
01:21:22,683 --> 01:21:24,975
- Go! Run fast!
- Come on. Move it!

1310
01:21:25,058 --> 01:21:27,725
Come on!

1311
01:21:34,266 --> 01:21:35,933
Oh my God!

1312
01:21:39,600 --> 01:21:41,766
- Come on, Ms. Malkin. Hurry up.
- Faster!

1313
01:21:41,850 --> 01:21:44,225
Just go. Go without me!

1314
01:21:44,308 --> 01:21:46,183
But you have to drive us!

1315
01:21:47,891 --> 01:21:49,600
Come on!

1316
01:21:59,225 --> 01:22:02,141
Come on, Ms. Malkin!

1317
01:22:03,433 --> 01:22:04,308
Huh?

1318
01:22:04,391 --> 01:22:05,391
The Purell!

1319
01:22:12,225 --> 01:22:14,891
Whoever did this will pay!
Help!

1320
01:22:14,975 --> 01:22:16,683
He's coming!

1321
01:22:16,766 --> 01:22:19,016
- We have to get out of here!
- I got this!

1322
01:22:19,100 --> 01:22:20,433
- What?
- I'm from the Bronx.

1323
01:22:20,516 --> 01:22:23,034
I've been driving since I was eight.

1324
01:22:28,350 --> 01:22:31,016
- Yeah! Yeah! Do it!
- Woo-hoo!

1325
01:22:33,391 --> 01:22:34,991
Oh my God!

1326
01:22:35,016 --> 01:22:36,808
Hey, pick a lane, lady!

1327
01:22:40,058 --> 01:22:41,183
A-ha!

1328
01:22:41,266 --> 01:22:43,225
I knew it.
Leo?

1329
01:22:45,600 --> 01:22:50,183
Hey! Whoa, whoa. No.
No, no, no, no, no. I hate it out here!

1330
01:22:50,266 --> 01:22:54,516
And I explained to them,
I was just afraid someone would tell.

1331
01:22:54,600 --> 01:22:56,475
But now they're all mad at me,

1332
01:22:56,558 --> 01:23:00,641
and my funeral's gonna be
even worse than Hammy #3's.

1333
01:23:00,725 --> 01:23:03,391
- Who's Hammy #3?
- I think it's a sandwich at Arby's.

1334
01:23:03,475 --> 01:23:05,308
Why you talking about your funeral?

1335
01:23:05,391 --> 01:23:07,475
'Cause it's coming any day.

1336
01:23:07,558 --> 01:23:09,641
I'm almost 75 years old.

1337
01:23:09,725 --> 01:23:12,391
So what?
We live to, like, 110.

1338
01:23:12,475 --> 01:23:14,600
What?
But Skyler's dad said--

1339
01:23:14,683 --> 01:23:17,558
A hundred and ten,
unless eaten by alligators.

1340
01:23:17,641 --> 01:23:18,933
I'm 97.

1341
01:23:19,016 --> 01:23:22,558
A hundred six. He's 74?
He's a tween.

1342
01:23:22,641 --> 01:23:24,308
Look how fast he blinks.

1343
01:23:27,433 --> 01:23:31,225
I'm gonna live!
This is incredible!

1344
01:23:31,308 --> 01:23:33,058
The guy's gonna live!

1345
01:23:33,141 --> 01:23:35,641
The guy's gonna live!
The guy's gonna live!

1346
01:23:35,725 --> 01:23:38,641
I gotta get back to those kids.
I can redeem myself!

1347
01:23:38,725 --> 01:23:40,225
And we're gonna help you.

1348
01:23:40,308 --> 01:23:43,183
The guy's gonna live! The--

1349
01:23:43,266 --> 01:23:47,016
I said I was sorry!

1350
01:23:49,183 --> 01:23:51,433
I'd kill for lateral movement.

1351
01:23:57,016 --> 01:24:01,600
Guys, before you do anything,
let's talk about why you're angry, okay?

1352
01:24:02,100 --> 01:24:03,516
Anyone's parents getting divorced?

1353
01:24:07,683 --> 01:24:09,433
- Aren't you gonna stop?
- I'm trying.

1354
01:24:09,516 --> 01:24:12,141
But I weigh 80 pounds
and this thing needs oil.

1355
01:24:12,808 --> 01:24:16,600
This looks scary. Oh, my God.

1356
01:24:19,225 --> 01:24:21,141
Come on!

1357
01:24:28,683 --> 01:24:31,016
What the... Is that
some kind of woolly mammoth?

1358
01:24:31,100 --> 01:24:32,780
I don't know, but it could kill us, right?

1359
01:24:32,808 --> 01:24:34,433
Uh, definitely.

1360
01:24:38,350 --> 01:24:39,350
We're here.

1361
01:24:45,766 --> 01:24:46,975
Get back.

1362
01:24:47,058 --> 01:24:48,683
- Oh, gosh.
- Oh, no, no, no.

1363
01:24:50,308 --> 01:24:52,475
That's a demerit.

1364
01:25:01,141 --> 01:25:03,350
You need to chill.

1365
01:25:15,058 --> 01:25:16,308
Summer, talk to him.

1366
01:25:16,391 --> 01:25:18,659
So I don't know if you know,
but it doesn't really matter.

1367
01:25:18,683 --> 01:25:21,058
We were supposed to go to Magic Land,
which is cool.

1368
01:25:21,141 --> 01:25:24,100
I've never been there.
I don't like magic and roller coasters.

1369
01:25:24,183 --> 01:25:27,350
They just seem really boring.
They're scary, which isn't boring,

1370
01:25:27,433 --> 01:25:29,475
but you're not doing anything,
you're just sitting,

1371
01:25:29,558 --> 01:25:32,016
when you could be
playing soccer or baking a cake.

1372
01:25:32,100 --> 01:25:35,016
I mean, my mom's on a diet, so--

1373
01:25:49,850 --> 01:25:52,475
How could Leo ever survive
out here?

1374
01:25:52,558 --> 01:25:54,933
How do we even start looking for him?

1375
01:25:55,016 --> 01:25:56,891
I just don't know.

1376
01:26:09,058 --> 01:26:11,766
What? Leo, no!

1377
01:26:11,850 --> 01:26:13,975
- Oh, no. Leo!
- Leo!

1378
01:26:15,183 --> 01:26:18,183
Leo, we just wanted to thank you.

1379
01:26:18,766 --> 01:26:21,600
I'm so sorry I got mad.
We all are.

1380
01:26:22,266 --> 01:26:25,266
We won the trip, Leo.
All because of you.

1381
01:26:25,350 --> 01:26:28,016
You made me feel like I could do anything.

1382
01:26:28,100 --> 01:26:29,558
You brought us all together.

1383
01:26:29,641 --> 01:26:32,266
I never had a lizard
that taught me so much.

1384
01:26:32,350 --> 01:26:34,391
Or any non-lizards either.

1385
01:26:34,475 --> 01:26:38,933
I'm not scared.
I wanna hug you one more time.

1386
01:26:40,683 --> 01:26:43,016
What?
They ate his insides!

1387
01:26:43,100 --> 01:26:45,350
I'm not--

1388
01:26:48,975 --> 01:26:51,058
Huh?

1389
01:26:51,141 --> 01:26:53,933
I'm okay, pal.

1390
01:26:54,016 --> 01:26:56,297
- I can't believe it.
- You're all right.

1391
01:26:56,350 --> 01:27:00,266
Sorry I scared you.
When I get nervous, I tend to molt.

1392
01:27:00,350 --> 01:27:01,266
Old habit.

1393
01:27:01,350 --> 01:27:02,225
Awesome!

1394
01:27:03,725 --> 01:27:07,933
That was the best funeral
I could ever have.

1395
01:27:08,016 --> 01:27:10,225
Wait, but if you guys won,

1396
01:27:10,308 --> 01:27:13,350
shouldn't you be celebrating
in Magic Land Park?

1397
01:27:13,433 --> 01:27:17,808
We couldn't celebrate.
We needed to see you before you die.

1398
01:27:17,891 --> 01:27:20,975
Oh. Uh, who told you I was dying?

1399
01:27:21,058 --> 01:27:22,975
The turt-- Uh, Squirtle told us.

1400
01:27:23,058 --> 01:27:27,183
Well, I thought I was,
but I found out I'm not.

1401
01:27:27,266 --> 01:27:29,058
- You're not?
- You're not gonna die?

1402
01:27:29,141 --> 01:27:30,308
You're not still mad?

1403
01:27:30,391 --> 01:27:31,891
This is incredible.

1404
01:27:31,975 --> 01:27:33,975
- We love you, Leo.
- Are you crazy?

1405
01:27:34,058 --> 01:27:35,433
This is amazing!

1406
01:27:35,516 --> 01:27:37,433
I'm so happy!

1407
01:27:38,516 --> 01:27:43,266
You're right about the endorphins.
It really feels awesome.

1408
01:27:47,891 --> 01:27:49,725
Ah. Oh, boy! Ah!

1409
01:27:49,808 --> 01:27:52,058
Still coming. Give me a second.

1410
01:27:53,141 --> 01:27:56,808
Hey, glad you're okay.
Sorry about busting you.

1411
01:27:57,725 --> 01:27:59,183
I want you to have something.

1412
01:28:04,016 --> 01:28:06,308
- Least I could do.
- It's okay. Put it back on.

1413
01:28:06,391 --> 01:28:07,725
You're gonna get arrested.

1414
01:28:13,725 --> 01:28:18,683
You should all be proud.
We've all learned so much this year.

1415
01:28:18,766 --> 01:28:22,058
Now, before I go,
I want to finish something else

1416
01:28:22,141 --> 01:28:23,725
that Mrs. Salinas started.

1417
01:28:24,975 --> 01:28:28,308
I'm going to read
the rest of Charlotte's Web.

1418
01:28:28,391 --> 01:28:31,225
- Ugh, is she kidding?
- Let's just get through it.

1419
01:28:32,016 --> 01:28:33,433
"Charlotte was dying."

1420
01:28:33,933 --> 01:28:36,266
"'But I feel peaceful, ' she said."

1421
01:28:36,350 --> 01:28:41,350
"'Your success in the ring was,
to a small degree, my success.'"

1422
01:28:41,433 --> 01:28:44,100
"'Why did you do all this for me?'
Wilbur asked."

1423
01:28:44,850 --> 01:28:47,266
"'Because I liked you, '
replied Charlotte."

1424
01:28:47,350 --> 01:28:49,891
"'After all, what's life, anyway?'"

1425
01:28:49,975 --> 01:28:52,891
"'We're born,
we live a little while, we die.'"

1426
01:28:53,933 --> 01:28:56,808
"'Perhaps,
I was trying to lift my life a trifle.'"

1427
01:28:56,891 --> 01:29:00,141
"'Anyone's life can stand a little of...'"

1428
01:29:00,225 --> 01:29:04,808
What? I was wrong, okay?
Crying's doin' so good for me.

1429
01:29:06,016 --> 01:29:10,016
- Still wish I could eat spider babies.
- Nobody's eating any spider babies!

1430
01:29:10,100 --> 01:29:11,766
Hi, guys!

1431
01:29:11,850 --> 01:29:13,058
Mrs. Salinas.

1432
01:29:13,141 --> 01:29:15,933
- I missed you. Come meet Cole!
- Yes!

1433
01:29:16,016 --> 01:29:18,725
- Can I hold the baby?
- He's so tiny.

1434
01:29:18,808 --> 01:29:19,933
Only one baby.

1435
01:29:20,016 --> 01:29:23,141
I guess she didn't bury the other eggs
deep enough in the sand.

1436
01:29:27,016 --> 01:29:29,808
<i>♪ Last year of elementary school ♪</i>

1437
01:29:29,891 --> 01:29:33,225
<i>♪ I'm, like, so over being a kid ♪</i>

1438
01:29:34,016 --> 01:29:37,558
<i>♪ Gonna look in the mirror for stubble ♪</i>

1439
01:29:38,100 --> 01:29:42,350
<i>♪ Gonna drink orange juice
With the bubbles ♪</i>

1440
01:29:42,433 --> 01:29:45,933
<i>♪ I'll say I don't need you ♪</i>

1441
01:29:46,016 --> 01:29:51,058
<i>♪ I'll be keeping it steady ♪</i>

1442
01:29:51,141 --> 01:29:55,641
<i>♪ I miss you already ♪</i>

1443
01:29:56,975 --> 01:29:59,683
How are we gonna get
through middle school without you?

1444
01:29:59,766 --> 01:30:03,141
You'll be fine.
It wasn't me. You did it.

1445
01:30:03,225 --> 01:30:07,308
You trusted someone to hear your problems.
That's all we need.

1446
01:30:07,391 --> 01:30:11,850
Remember, everyone's scared.
So don't keep it to yourself.

1447
01:30:11,933 --> 01:30:14,141
Find your Leo to talk to.

1448
01:30:14,225 --> 01:30:17,766
It could be your teacher,
your mom, your friend.

1449
01:30:17,850 --> 01:30:18,766
Your turtle.

1450
01:30:18,850 --> 01:30:22,600
They're ready to listen.
I promise they'll make you feel better.

1451
01:30:32,266 --> 01:30:33,850
Ms. Malkin!

1452
01:30:33,933 --> 01:30:36,266
Needless to say,
you've made your mark here.

1453
01:30:36,350 --> 01:30:40,766
And as I promised, I'm opening up a class
for you to run full-time next year.

1454
01:30:42,391 --> 01:30:44,933
Well, thank you, Principal Spahn.

1455
01:30:45,016 --> 01:30:47,141
But I'll need one condition met.

1456
01:30:47,225 --> 01:30:52,891
Whatever class I teach,
I want these two alongside me as pets.

1457
01:30:52,975 --> 01:30:55,725
Well, okay.
I don't see that being a problem.

1458
01:30:55,808 --> 01:31:00,058
- Look at this. We're going with Malkin.
- Change of scenery. Should be good.

1459
01:31:00,141 --> 01:31:03,100
Congratulations, meet your new students.

1460
01:31:07,058 --> 01:31:09,308
- Oh God!
- Not in the shell! Keep it clean!

1461
01:31:09,391 --> 01:31:11,183
Lot of energy.

1462
01:31:11,266 --> 01:31:13,891
This is good,
we're finally gonna learn the alphabet!

1463
01:31:13,975 --> 01:31:15,683
- Oh my God!
- Yeah!

1464
01:38:43,558 --> 01:38:49,058
<i>♪ Last year of elementary school
Last year of bein' a kid ♪</i>

1465
01:38:49,141 --> 01:38:52,058
<i>♪ Being on top ♪</i>

1466
01:38:52,141 --> 01:38:54,808
<i>♪ I'm gonna go out swingin' ♪</i>

1467
01:38:54,891 --> 01:38:58,391
<i>♪ Toy soldiers
Dippin' Dots, fun-size bars ♪</i>

1468
01:38:58,475 --> 01:39:02,391
<i>♪ Slip 'N slides
Fart noises, chicken stars ♪</i>

1469
01:39:02,475 --> 01:39:06,225
<i>♪ Until they tell me to stop ♪</i>

1470
01:39:06,308 --> 01:39:12,516
<i>♪ Last year of elementary school
Biggest kid on campus, I got it made ♪</i>

1471
01:39:12,600 --> 01:39:15,808
<i>♪ Sit down, son!
I own all you dorks ♪</i>

1472
01:39:15,891 --> 01:39:19,308
<i>♪ I'm so stoked
I was held back in third grade ♪</i>

1473
01:39:19,391 --> 01:39:22,183
<i>♪ Okay, okay
So we will not invite Cara ♪</i>

1474
01:39:22,266 --> 01:39:23,850
<i>♪ Oh my God, I hate her ♪</i>

1475
01:39:23,933 --> 01:39:27,058
<i>- ♪ Sabrina's kind of cool ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ We do not do fourth-graders ♪</i>

1476
01:39:27,141 --> 01:39:30,641
<i>- ♪ We make a list of friends? ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ Yes, with no weirdos on it ♪</i>

1477
01:39:31,141 --> 01:39:33,021
- What about Summer?
- She's nice.

1478
01:39:33,058 --> 01:39:34,058
Uh, vomit.

1479
01:39:35,516 --> 01:39:38,600
<i>♪ Last year of elementary school ♪</i>

1480
01:39:38,683 --> 01:39:41,475
<i>♪ This is the year people talk to me ♪</i>

1481
01:39:41,558 --> 01:39:45,016
<i>♪ The year someone says, "How are you?" ♪</i>

1482
01:39:45,100 --> 01:39:48,016
<i>♪ It's been three years
Since I joined the school ♪</i>

1483
01:39:48,100 --> 01:39:50,350
<i>♪ I'm due
I'd say I'm due ♪</i>

1484
01:39:50,433 --> 01:39:53,225
<i>♪ We think you're due too ♪</i>

1485
01:39:53,308 --> 01:39:55,451
<i>♪ Five more minutes ♪</i>

1486
01:39:55,475 --> 01:39:57,600
<i>♪ Okay, five more minutes ♪</i>

1487
01:39:58,141 --> 01:40:01,766
<i>♪ I just can't wait to go back
It's the first school day ♪</i>

1488
01:40:01,850 --> 01:40:05,475
<i>♪ And both Mom and Dad
are gonna take me there ♪</i>

1489
01:40:06,516 --> 01:40:09,975
<i>♪ That's not allowed in the house
Is what the lawyers say ♪</i>

1490
01:40:10,058 --> 01:40:14,891
<i>♪ But he gives me a big hug
Right on the front stairs ♪</i>

1491
01:40:15,933 --> 01:40:18,725
<i>♪ Five more minutes ♪</i>

1492
01:40:18,808 --> 01:40:22,100
<i>♪ Cole, you have to get up
On your own this year ♪</i>

1493
01:40:22,183 --> 01:40:25,103
<i>- ♪ Five more minutes ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ Okay, five more minutes ♪</i>

1494
01:40:25,141 --> 01:40:26,808
Way to be strong, Dad.

1495
01:40:27,850 --> 01:40:32,850
<i>♪ Lessening
They say my nut allergies are lessening ♪</i>

1496
01:40:34,683 --> 01:40:41,058
<i>♪ Once the immune boosters kick in
I can try the kung pao chicken ♪</i>

1497
01:40:42,141 --> 01:40:45,350
<i>♪ Welcome, fifth graders
Go right through this door ♪</i>

1498
01:40:45,433 --> 01:40:50,225
<i>♪ 'Cause this year your homerooms
Are on the second floor ♪</i>

1499
01:40:50,308 --> 01:40:51,516
The big time!

1500
01:40:52,350 --> 01:40:54,590
<i>♪ Please don't step
On the kindergartners ♪</i>

1501
01:40:57,308 --> 01:41:00,433
<i>♪ Last year
Of sleeping with a night light ♪</i>

1502
01:41:00,516 --> 01:41:03,725
<i>♪ Last year
Of not spelling "dessert" right ♪</i>

1503
01:41:03,808 --> 01:41:06,725
<i>♪ Last year
Of dominating recess ♪</i>

1504
01:41:06,808 --> 01:41:09,725
<i>♪ Last year
Of T-shirts with a princess ♪</i>

1505
01:41:09,808 --> 01:41:12,768
<i>- ♪ Mom's food at lunchtime ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ Pockets filled with slime ♪</i>

1506
01:41:12,850 --> 01:41:16,558
<i>- ♪ Of temporary tattoos ♪</i>
<i>- ♪ Of dyeing my Bichon blue ♪</i>

1507
01:41:16,641 --> 01:41:19,516
<i>♪ Last year
And what we do in grade five ♪</i>

1508
01:41:19,600 --> 01:41:26,475
<i>♪ Will decide the rest of our lives ♪</i>