1
00:00:06,756 --> 00:00:11,928
[lounge version of "Jingle Bells" playing]
2
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,222
Merry almost Christmas.
3
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:16,683
Merry almost Christmas.
4
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:19,704
How about we just buy each other
lumps of coal this year and call it a day?
5
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,730
Sure.
Just as long as it’s under ten dollars,
6
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,815
and you can’t get it from the gift shop!
7
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:26,026
Merry almost Christmas.
8
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:29,279
Feels weird to think about presents.
9
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,364
After what happened.
10
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,409
[Dawn] I can still smell the smoke
in my hair.
11
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:36,911
- You haven’t washed your hair all week?
- Of course I have.
12
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,497
It’s more of a sense memory,
from the trauma.
13
00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:42,709
- Yeah, that's hard to get out.
- Know what I want for Christmas?
14
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:45,795
People to stop talking about the fire
like it was targeting them.
15
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,673
Acting like it’s some big surprise
to find bigots in Vegas.
16
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:51,801
I hope your Secret Santa gets you... that.
[laughs]
17
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:55,096
Or maybe a gift that,
it's really thoughtful and cheers you up
18
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:58,558
and reminds you that there's still
some good and beauty in humanity.
19
00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,852
- Jesus, Carmen. You running for office?
- [Carmen] No.
20
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,021
I just really, really love Christmas.
21
00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:04,605
Ruth.
22
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,320
Aw, man. I got myself.
23
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,238
Oh, you can have mine. I got Cherry.
24
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:16,201
Ruth! It is supposed to be a secret.
"Secret" Santa.
25
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:18,285
[quietly] Sorry.
26
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:25,376
I still can’t believe
I missed your performance.
27
00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:28,129
It sounds like the only good thing
about that night
28
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,673
was how incredible you were.
29
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:32,800
Thanks.
30
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:36,346
Though I think True West
would have gone over better.
31
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:44,813
How did it feel to be up there doing
exactly what you wanted to be doing?
32
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,105
And...
33
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,525
be good at it? [chuckles softly]
34
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,404
It was the best feeling I’ve had
in my life.
35
00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:58,326
Until the hate crime.
36
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,372
You have no control as an actor.
37
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,916
You can drive 300 miles
38
00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:07,460
to audition for people you know
39
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,505
and still not get the part.
Or any part, ever.
40
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,674
Which, you know, I mean,
I can never say to Ruth,
41
00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:14,551
because I know
she won’t be able to hear it.
42
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:15,552
[Tex] Well, right.
43
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:18,555
That’s why you’re a smart cookie
for getting into the other side of things
44
00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:20,014
while the getting's good.
45
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,307
Which tie?
46
00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:25,353
The... I mean... They... Well...
They're the same tie.
47
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:29,941
- Oh, God. How dare you? [chuckles]
- [softly] They're the same tie.
48
00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:32,318
[Tex] Man, I’m getting tired
of these negotiations.
49
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,405
That guy's like Jimmy Stewart
without any of the charm.
50
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,490
He keeps asking
all these personal questions.
51
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,325
I think he’s just stalling for time,
52
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,494
so he can try to squeeze me
for more money.
53
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,497
Hmm. Maybe he’s hesitating
'cause he knows you’re underbidding.
54
00:02:45,957 --> 00:02:47,917
- Says who?
- Says me, Tex.
55
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,295
I looked over those deal terms.
It's... [mumbles]
56
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,923
You definitely undervalued
some of his assets.
57
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,526
Oh, I didn’t realize you were snooping.
58
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,178
Well, I'm paying attention.
59
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,991
I mean, if I’m gonna be your partner,
shouldn’t I at least know what’s going on?
60
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,475
[stammers] You’re my girlfriend,
not my partner.
61
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,565
Well, I was just trying to help.
62
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,358
Yeah, well, and you did.
63
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,153
I mean, those dinners
would've been unbearable without you.
64
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,948
So, I’m here to look pretty and make...
[scoffs]
65
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,408
...make dinners less awful?
66
00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:23,036
Well, I mean,
you do both of those things so well.
67
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:29,459
Look, you understand
that my work can get ugly and ruthless.
68
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,545
And that I can get ugly and ruthless.
69
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,673
And I don’t want my girlfriend, or...
70
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,343
my future wife,
if that's where this is headed,
71
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,261
near any of that.
72
00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:45,307
[sighs softly]
73
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:50,897
I also had a long talk
with our stage manager
74
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:52,732
about ramp safety protocol.
75
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,610
- He suggests we get an expert...
- I... I... I'm sorry. Can we, um...
76
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:58,589
There’s a... a man standing at the bar,
and I don’t want to make a scene,
77
00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:00,740
but I... I need you to fire him,
immediately.
78
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,742
- Did something happen?
- [Bash] No.
79
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:05,870
Yeah, well, there was an incident,
but I, uh, don't want to go into details.
80
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,123
- [softly] Which man are we talking about?
- [Bash] Uh...
81
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:13,336
[sighs] Joe. Uh, he's standing in a suit.
82
00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:15,564
I don't know. Maybe it’s his day off.
He works in maintenance.
83
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,423
Oh, you mean Paul. The gigolo.
84
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,800
No, not Paul the...
85
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:23,096
[Sandy] Paul doesn’t work for us,
but, uh...
86
00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:24,764
I’m happy to coax him over to Coconuts.
87
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:27,350
- I’m sure he’s just as popular there.
- No, uh... [chuckles]
88
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:30,186
I... I must have made a mistake.
It's the lighting here.
89
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,397
Uh, would you excuse me? [clears throat]
90
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,739
[knock at door]
91
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:50,456
Is Carmen around? [breathing shakily]
92
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,417
No. She's out.
93
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:58,298
I mean, well...
Is... Is it cool if I hang here for a bit?
94
00:04:58,673 --> 00:04:59,924
Or, like, a week?
95
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,844
[Rhonda sighs wearily]
96
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:09,392
[exhales] I wish they had Advent calendars
for all the months.
97
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,115
- [packaging crackles]
- [chuckles softly]
98
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:12,895
Do you wanna talk about it?
99
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:17,442
No, not really.
100
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:29,412
Remember when we did that match
and some guy threw a beer can at me?
101
00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:32,457
Yeah, ‘cause it hit me in the face.
102
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:33,875
Right.
103
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,296
Afterwards, I was so freaked out.
104
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:41,382
No one had ever hated me that much before.
105
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,343
And I wanted to run away
106
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,262
and never put on that stupid costume
ever again.
107
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,430
[sighs]
108
00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,350
[Arthie] But when the fire happened,
109
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,935
and I saw all those words...
110
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:54,771
and that hate...
111
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:59,317
it just made me... mad.
112
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:01,568
Like,
113
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,322
my face got hot and I...
114
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,783
My hands started shaking. And...
115
00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:11,913
I wanted to scream or break something
or run to Yolanda.
116
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:14,581
But...
117
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,377
I didn’t do anything.
118
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,005
I just stood there.
119
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,553
[lounge version of
"O Christmas Tree" playing]
120
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,683
♪ O Christmas tree ♪
121
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,769
♪ O Christmas tree ♪
122
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,897
♪ Thy leaves are so unchanging ♪
123
00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:39,941
♪ O Christmas tree ♪
124
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:42,068
♪ O Christmas tree... ♪
125
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:44,112
What do you think about A Christmas Carol?
126
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,571
[Ruth] A Christmas Carol?
127
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:48,658
I think it’s a classic.
128
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:50,618
It’s the first play I ever did.
129
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:52,245
I got to play Tiny Tim.
130
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:55,665
Well, I think we should do it.
In the ring.
131
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:57,792
[Ruth] Um...
132
00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:01,129
Okay, the fact that I have to convince you
of all people is crazy.
133
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,715
Look, I appreciate
what you’re trying to do,
134
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:09,512
with this, with the Secret Santa, but...
some of us could use a break this year.
135
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:11,264
You mean from Christmas?
136
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,766
[elevator bell dings]
137
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,646
We only have one show left
before the break.
138
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:22,608
Let’s just get through it so that
we can all go home and recharge
139
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,652
before we have to come back
for a whole other year
140
00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,446
of doing the same show
over and over again.
141
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,616
You picked me for your Secret Santa,
right?
142
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,036
- Yeah.
- Well, this is what I want for Christmas.
143
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,205
["We Wish You a Merry Christmas" playing]
144
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:45,798
[as Zoya] Merry Christmas?
145
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,844
Out with Merry Christmas!
146
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:52,180
- Bah humbug!
- [audience laughs]
147
00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:57,852
Where the fuck is...
148
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:02,482
- [Ruth] Gentle, spoiled little brats...
- [chuckles, exhales]
149
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:06,235
Wow. The woman with 40 million dollars
is playing Bob Cratchit?
150
00:08:06,777 --> 00:08:09,238
It was my idea,
'cause I'm British and I'm nice.
151
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:12,533
So, I’m looking for your husband,
who's playing my son.
152
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:13,993
I don’t know where he is.
153
00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:16,621
- Well, he’s not in the showroom and...
- I don't know, okay?
154
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:21,125
He said he wanted space,
so I gave it to him.
155
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:32,512
- Where is your costume? Get dressed.
- [slurs] Go away.
156
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:36,390
[stammering] Wha... Nope. I don’t even
want to know why you’re so drunk
157
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:40,478
that you can’t even put on a pair
of fucking kiddie pajamas for...
158
00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:43,022
for a Christmas show
that you obviously, again,
159
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:44,899
did not need my approval for. Here.
160
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:46,651
No. [scoffs] I'm not going.
161
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:49,069
Fine. I mean, Bash,
you can wear your own clothes.
162
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:51,989
I don’t care. I just...
I need a scene partner for an hour,
163
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:55,993
and then you can come back up here,
and you can drown in your own vomit.
164
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,537
- [sighs]
- [Debbie] Come on.
165
00:08:58,663 --> 00:08:59,663
Come on.
166
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,582
- [scoffs] Right now.
- [groans]
167
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:02,833
Come on!
168
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:04,252
What is happ...
169
00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:08,839
- Wow. You are fucking pathetic. [scoffs]
- [Bash groans]
170
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:11,968
- [grunts]
- [Debbie sighs]
171
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:14,929
She watched me kiss him.
172
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,892
And she watched me touch him.
173
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:24,772
Joe, Paul. Whatever.
174
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:27,191
[sighs]
175
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:31,654
And I thought, you know... [sighs]
176
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:35,575
I mean, maybe it'd be okay
‘cause Rhonda was there, too. You know.
177
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,579
But it was so much worse...
178
00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:42,415
'cause I liked it.
179
00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:45,543
I liked it so much.
180
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,169
[laughs]
181
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:49,463
And she watched me like it.
182
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:56,929
I’ll do it again.
I mean, I know I'll do it again.
183
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,973
If we stay here and...
184
00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:03,603
Now everyone knows.
I mean, the whole fucking casino.
185
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:04,686
You know?
186
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,022
Everyone.
187
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:09,150
[exhales]
188
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,319
We bought a house here.
189
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:14,196
We bought a fucking house.
190
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:17,908
And there’s the show. Two shows.
191
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:20,785
I can't...
192
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:26,083
My mom... [chuckles, mutters]
193
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:29,670
I mean, I’ll lose everything, you know.
And...
194
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:33,758
[sighs wearily] I can't. I can't.
195
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:38,888
[sighs]
196
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,140
Bash, maybe you can.
197
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:44,185
Maybe it's not such a bad thing.
198
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:45,645
- [groans]
- I mean, you...
199
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,899
Look at Liberace. [chuckles]
200
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:52,860
I mean, he’s probably
slept with more valets than I have,
201
00:10:52,943 --> 00:10:56,030
and he seems to be... doin' okay.
[chuckles softly]
202
00:10:57,573 --> 00:11:00,284
[laughs] No. [takes a deep breath] No.
203
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,286
Okay, okay.
204
00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,123
Hey, Bash, I mean...
205
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,417
tell me what you want to do.
206
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,087
[clicks tongue]
207
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,173
I want to stay married to Rhonda.
208
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:20,096
[sighs, crying] And I want to be the son
my mom wants me to be.
209
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,099
I don’t want to die.
210
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,067
[sobs]
211
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:37,196
[sighs] Just tell me what to do, okay?
212
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,032
I'll do anything.
213
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,118
[sighs]
214
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:46,288
[ghostly wailing]
215
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,040
[audience gasps]
216
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,127
[chains rattling loudly]
217
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,878
[ominous orchestral music playing]
218
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:53,962
Who...
219
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,257
Who are you?
220
00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:57,925
[gasps]
221
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:02,638
[in British accent, echoing]
In life, I was your partner,
222
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:07,476
Jacob Marley.
223
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,145
You look terrible.
224
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:10,521
[laughter]
225
00:12:10,604 --> 00:12:13,941
I have spent the past seven years
226
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:16,902
being tortured by guilt.
227
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:20,990
Replaying my life’s mistakes
228
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:27,663
over and over and over and over
and over again.
229
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:28,956
[audience laughs]
230
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,585
But the seller is questioning the morals
of the buyer.
231
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:35,171
Who’s the buyer?
232
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:37,131
It doesn’t matter. It’s a steal.
233
00:12:37,214 --> 00:12:40,110
Eleven mil. It covers the call sign,
the airwaves, and the infrastructure.
234
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,136
The only thing is
the seller wants to close
235
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:45,723
by the end of the year,
which... which I... I think he will
236
00:12:45,806 --> 00:12:48,893
to the married son
of a prominent conservative family.
237
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,021
I'm sorry. You want...
You want me to buy a TV network?
238
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:53,814
- Tonight,
- [echoing drum playing]
239
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:57,151
you will be visited by three more ghosts!
240
00:12:58,527 --> 00:12:59,695
Listen to them.
241
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,741
[wailing] Or else!
242
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:06,619
[crowd cheering and applauding]
243
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:07,995
Pfft!
244
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,749
Oh, bah humbug to that!
245
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,834
[audience laughs]
246
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:17,505
What even was that? Man in sky.
247
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:22,760
[audience laughs]
248
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:24,637
You said you wanted to leave Vegas.
249
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,080
May as well ride back into LA
with something to show for it.
250
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:30,851
- Jesus fucking Christ.
- Is that an earthquake?
251
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:36,482
[in Southern accent]
"That night, as Scrooge lay in bed,
252
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,235
he tried to ignore what had happened.
253
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:42,363
'Maybe it was a hallucination, '
he thought.
254
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:45,741
- 'Or a piece of undigested beef.'
- [audience laughs]
255
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:49,036
Then, as he finally fell asleep,
256
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:52,289
- [yawns]
- a strong wind blew open the windows...
257
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,166
- [window shutters banging]
- [wind howling]
258
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,794
And as the clock struck one,
259
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:58,838
[clock chiming loudly]
260
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,798
his first guest arrived."
261
00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,258
[audience clamors]
262
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,342
Who, Mother?
263
00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:06,262
Shh! Listen, and you’ll see.
264
00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,514
- How'd I do?
- [in normal voice] Okay.
265
00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:10,057
[whooshing]
266
00:14:10,474 --> 00:14:11,308
[as Edna] Boo!
267
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,644
- [audience laughs]
- Who are you?
268
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:18,107
[as Ethel]
It’s us! The Ghosts of Christmas Past!
269
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:19,233
[both] Ha!
270
00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:22,236
- [audience laughs]
- Oh, I beg you, let me sleep!
271
00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:24,738
Fat chance! I haven’t slept in centuries!
272
00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,324
- [audience laughs]
- We’re goin' for a ride!
273
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:32,288
No. No, no! You can’t make me! No!
274
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,371
[grunts]
275
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:37,209
- [shouts]
- [Dawn and Stacey cackle]
276
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,045
[audience booing]
277
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,630
[Dawn and Stacey yelling]
278
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,674
- [shouts, grunts]
- [Dawn] Ha!
279
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:47,261
[Stacey] Take that, Scrooge.
280
00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:50,556
Let's go on a trip down memory lane!
281
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:51,682
Good idea.
282
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:53,205
- [audience laughs]
- [Ruth groaning]
283
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,104
[Stacey yells]
284
00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:59,648
You're comin' with us,
whether you like it or not.
285
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:03,235
You really have a good head
for this stuff.
286
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,612
Runs in the family.
287
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:06,405
[thudding]
288
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,718
Sell your house now at the top
of the market, you’ll actually make money.
289
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,262
- How much did you sink into Rhapsody?
- Two and a half million.
290
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:14,705
Oh, my God. Bash, why would you...
That's... That's...
291
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,099
- You can get that back.
- [Bash] Okay.
292
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,918
Then, all we'd need
to hit profitability is a valuable asset,
293
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,837
like, um, when Ted Turner
bought the Atlanta Braves
294
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,798
- to provide programming for WTCG.
- How do you know all this?
295
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,130
I’ve been attending
a lot of business dinners lately
296
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,896
where no one thinks I understand anything
that they’re talking about.
297
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:33,057
Okay. Okay, I gotta finish this coffee
298
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:35,994
and I gotta get more coffee and then...
I gotta start making phone calls.
299
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:39,521
Yes, yes, yes! Yes, exactly. Yep.
We need to move fast. What's... Okay.
300
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,982
- Okay. [sighs] Here we go.
- [Debbie] Nope, nope!
301
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,710
- We're in the middle of the show.
- We're in the middle of the show.
302
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:45,361
[sleigh bells ringing]
303
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:48,155
[long, ghostly breath]
304
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,325
Oh, is Bob Cratchit,
305
00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:54,745
a depressing, impoverished man
who work for me.
306
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,666
But... who is that little cripple?
307
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,710
- [Tammé] His son, Tiny Tim.
- [wind whipping]
308
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,964
A kind boy with a mysterious leg illness.
309
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,925
Let’s be happy for what we have.
310
00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:10,469
And pray for Mr. Scrooge.
311
00:16:11,178 --> 00:16:12,805
[in British accent] Yes, Father.
312
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,850
[choir singing
"Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"]
313
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:19,019
What? How can they be happy?
They have nothing.
314
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,938
They chomp on little bone.
315
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:25,401
- ♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪
- [audience laughs]
316
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:28,028
- ♪ Peace on earth... ♪
- [whooshing]
317
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,823
- [audience exclaims in surprise]
- Spirit?
318
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,283
Where have you gone?
319
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:35,911
Don’t leave me.
320
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:39,373
When is the third ghost coming?
321
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:41,056
- [thunder rumbles]
- [church bell tolls]
322
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,209
[gasps]
323
00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:45,045
[ominous music playing]
324
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:50,300
[in Southern accent]
I think she wants to show you somethin'!
325
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:52,760
What?
326
00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:58,726
- [church bell tolls]
- My poor, tiny boy.
327
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:00,477
He was as good as gold.
328
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,896
- [audience groans]
- Teenie Tim?
329
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:04,189
He's dead?
330
00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:07,901
What kind of Christmas story is this?
331
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:14,533
Whose grave is that?
332
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,620
[echoing] Why, it’s yours.
333
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,304
- [thunder rumbles]
- [church bell tolls]
334
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:21,330
What?
335
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,959
But I’m still young!
336
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:27,087
This cannot be. No! No! No!
337
00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:28,881
[distant rumbling]
338
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:32,718
I have much to accomplish still. I can’t!
339
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:36,472
Sorry, but your time is up, Scrooge.
340
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:37,555
Oh!
341
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:40,059
[thunder rumbling]
342
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:42,603
- [cheering]
- [Ruth] Please!
343
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:45,481
- Let me live a little longer.
- [menacing supernatural music playing]
344
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:50,486
No! I banish you, spirit.
345
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,946
I banish you, I said.
346
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,365
So, stop coming at me.
347
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,786
[ghostly moan]
348
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:00,469
- [thunder rumbles]
- [church bell tolls]
349
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,497
[yelps]
350
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:08,670
- Okay.
- [audience applauds]
351
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,048
You want a piece of Scroogey?
352
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:12,508
[audience cheering]
353
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,760
["She Won't Be Home"
by Erasure playing]
354
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,053
- [yells]
- [grunts]
355
00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:18,764
♪ She looks around ♪
356
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:22,476
♪ There are snowflakes on the ground ♪
357
00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:24,436
No!
358
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:29,525
♪ Here comes another lonely Christmas ♪
359
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,944
[audience yelling]
360
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:35,030
♪ Stars in the night ♪
361
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:39,326
- ♪ There is one there shining bright ♪
- [both yell]
362
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:45,833
♪ Shining bright for me
This lonely Christmas ♪
363
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,626
[whines]
364
00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:51,421
♪ And I wanted to say to you ♪
365
00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:55,551
♪ How much I want to be with you ♪
366
00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:59,847
♪ I wanted to say to you ♪
367
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:03,642
♪ How much I needed to be with you ♪
368
00:19:04,101 --> 00:19:07,646
♪ Christmastime comes once a year ♪
369
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:11,817
- [yells]
- ♪ She knows this time, he won't be near ♪
370
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:14,361
[panting]
371
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:18,907
- [groans]
- ♪ She phones her mum ♪
372
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:23,245
- ♪ Says this time, she cannot come ♪
- [whines]
373
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:29,877
♪ "Don't worry
I'm with friends this Christmas" ♪
374
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,295
[grunts]
375
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:34,840
♪ Dad gets upset ♪
376
00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:39,344
- ♪ But in time, he soon forgets ♪
- [cheering]
377
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:45,976
♪ Here comes another lonely Christmas ♪
378
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:51,523
♪ And I wanted to say to you ♪
379
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:55,611
- ♪ How much I want to be with you ♪
- [squeals]
380
00:19:55,819 --> 00:19:59,698
♪ I wanted to say to you ♪
381
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:03,577
- ♪ How much I need to be with you ♪
- [Ruth groans]
382
00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:07,623
♪ Christmastime comes once a year ♪
383
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:12,336
- [both yelling]
- ♪ She knows this time, he won't be near ♪
384
00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:15,172
- Ah! [screams]
- [Carmen roars]
385
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,424
- [audience cheers]
- [silence falls]
386
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,509
[thunder rumbling]
387
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:25,349
[sleigh bells ringing]
388
00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,141
Boy!
389
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:28,936
What day is it?
390
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:31,271
[in British accent]
Why, Christmas Day, sir!
391
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:34,775
[joyful, festive music playing]
392
00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:36,818
- I’m not dead!
- [audience laughs]
393
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:40,030
And you’re not dead!
394
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:43,367
And we haven’t missed Christmas at all!
395
00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:45,452
[audience cheers and applauds]
396
00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:49,039
Merry Christmas, everyone!
397
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:55,045
Today, I defect from Communist Russia
398
00:20:55,295 --> 00:21:01,385
and join in glorious American celebration!
399
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:07,432
I will live in past, present, and future!
400
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,309
- [cheering]
- Me too!
401
00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:12,437
[gasps] Teenie Tim, you're alive!
402
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:17,359
God bless us, every one!
403
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:18,944
- Yes!
- [audience member whoops]
404
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:25,409
Thank you for joining us
at the GLOW Christmas Spectacular.
405
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,703
Hope you learned a thing or two.
406
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,871
- I know I have.
- [audience laughs]
407
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:33,000
Hey, before you head back
into that there casino,
408
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,711
- we’d like you to join us in a song.
- [audience applauds]
409
00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:38,213
From our family... to yours.
410
00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:42,342
- Hey, Timmy.
- [Jenny] Help!
411
00:21:42,509 --> 00:21:49,391
[wrestlers]
♪ I’m dreaming of a white Christmas ♪
412
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:50,474
[Jenny exclaims]
413
00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:55,689
♪ Just like the ones I used to know ♪
414
00:21:56,356 --> 00:22:00,360
♪ Where the treetops glisten ♪
415
00:22:00,444 --> 00:22:04,031
♪ And children listen ♪
416
00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:09,286
♪ To hear sleigh bells in the snow ♪
417
00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:10,704
[Debbie] Everybody now!
418
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:18,962
[wrestlers and audience]
♪ I'm dreaming of a White Christmas ♪
419
00:22:19,963 --> 00:22:24,426
♪ With every Christmas card I write ♪
420
00:22:25,886 --> 00:22:28,430
- ♪ May your days... ♪
- Ho ho ho!
421
00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:32,267
Merry Christmas, everyone! [laughs]
422
00:22:34,227 --> 00:22:35,604
[Dawn] It's Keith! [laughs]
423
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:36,687
[gasps]
424
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:38,148
- [giggles]
- [all gasp]
425
00:22:39,649 --> 00:22:43,028
I was your Secret Santa.
I figured this is what you wanted.
426
00:22:46,615 --> 00:22:48,367
[crying] Thank you.
427
00:22:55,165 --> 00:22:57,042
- Are you kidding me?
- Oh!
428
00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:00,921
[wrestlers speaking indistinctly]
429
00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:11,014
Hot damn, it's good to see you.
430
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:14,058
[sobbing]
431
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:16,395
[all cheering]
432
00:23:28,615 --> 00:23:29,615
See?
433
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:33,787
All we needed was music,
a little snow, and a hot black Santa.
434
00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:35,956
It’s fucking Christmas now, baby.
435
00:23:36,039 --> 00:23:37,958
[laughing] Are those Hanukkah underpants?
436
00:23:38,041 --> 00:23:42,087
Yes. My mom gets me a new pair every year
for the first night.
437
00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:43,505
Okay, jingle bells.
438
00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:46,675
- Okay, okay. Time to exchange presents.
- [laughs]
439
00:23:53,557 --> 00:23:55,642
- What?
- You are a miracle.
440
00:23:55,725 --> 00:23:57,477
- [scoffs]
- [Ruth] Really, Carmen.
441
00:23:57,561 --> 00:23:59,563
You’re the heart and soul of this team.
442
00:23:59,646 --> 00:24:00,646
[Carmen] It’s not me.
443
00:24:01,106 --> 00:24:02,232
People love Christmas.
444
00:24:04,234 --> 00:24:06,194
Thank you for my Christmas present.
445
00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:08,947
That match was the most fun
I’ve had all year.
446
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:10,657
Right? [laughs]
447
00:24:11,741 --> 00:24:13,869
- Are you going back to LA for Christmas?
- [Ruth] No.
448
00:24:14,244 --> 00:24:16,246
Omaha, to see my parents.
449
00:24:16,413 --> 00:24:18,748
Well, I have to fly through Denver.
There’s nothing direct.
450
00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:22,752
So, Denver, then home.
But now, thanks to you,
451
00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:25,839
I'm... I'm... honestly looking forward
to seeing the snow.
452
00:24:26,131 --> 00:24:27,299
[chuckles softly]
453
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,010
- [champagne cork pops]
- [women giggling]
454
00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:33,555
- Are you guys drinking already?
- [all] Yeah!
455
00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:38,018
- [indistinct chatter and yelling]
- [Stacey] ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells! ♪
456
00:24:38,977 --> 00:24:40,854
You gonna keep this on?
457
00:24:41,229 --> 00:24:43,690
Look, I know how you feel
about Santa Claus.
458
00:24:43,940 --> 00:24:45,484
- That was a lot of tongue.
- [laughs]
459
00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:48,445
I mean, you was all... ton-tonsils.
460
00:24:48,528 --> 00:24:50,608
- You too.
- Up in here. I mean, you know. It's true.
461
00:24:52,365 --> 00:24:54,034
I’m just not sure where we’re at.
462
00:24:55,285 --> 00:24:56,285
Well...
463
00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:59,831
you walked out of the room and left town.
464
00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:02,584
So, how about you tell me where you’re at?
465
00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:08,131
I was angry.
466
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:12,219
And I needed to get angry.
467
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,806
But all this time apart,
all I thought about was you.
468
00:25:19,017 --> 00:25:20,435
That’s my country song.
469
00:25:22,979 --> 00:25:24,731
But I should tell you, I did meet a woman.
470
00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:27,234
[sighs] Oh, God.
471
00:25:28,443 --> 00:25:29,694
You met someone?
472
00:25:30,070 --> 00:25:31,696
I met a woman about adoption.
473
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,660
Just got some basic information,
474
00:25:36,743 --> 00:25:38,828
but she thinks
we might be good candidates.
475
00:25:39,913 --> 00:25:41,915
So you wouldn’t have to stop working.
476
00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:44,876
You wouldn’t have to give up your body.
477
00:25:46,461 --> 00:25:48,213
I could stay home with the baby.
478
00:25:50,090 --> 00:25:52,509
Ah, it’s another way to go. If we want.
479
00:25:56,513 --> 00:25:59,408
[Marty] Well, Sebastian, we were shocked
when we looked into this property.
480
00:25:59,432 --> 00:26:02,811
It’s a viable play, room for growth.
How’d you find this?
481
00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:05,981
Debbie Eagan, my, uh, producing partner.
She brought it to me.
482
00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:07,232
It’s my boyfriend’s deal.
483
00:26:08,191 --> 00:26:09,359
We're, uh, swooping in
484
00:26:09,442 --> 00:26:11,403
- and pulling it out from under him.
- We are?
485
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:13,571
Yes, we are.
486
00:26:13,613 --> 00:26:15,508
[Marty, chuckling]
Jesus. Remind me not to date you.
487
00:26:15,532 --> 00:26:17,534
You’re not gonna have time
to date me, Allen.
488
00:26:17,617 --> 00:26:20,537
You'll be so busy sewing this up
before the end of the year.
489
00:26:20,662 --> 00:26:22,038
Sor-Sorry to ruin your Christmas.
490
00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:25,292
- It's Marty.
- This is Marty. And this deal is so good,
491
00:26:25,375 --> 00:26:27,127
you can ruin any holiday you want.
492
00:26:27,210 --> 00:26:28,210
[chuckles]
493
00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:31,715
Allen again. If we’re gonna move
this fast, we need to keep this quiet,
494
00:26:31,798 --> 00:26:34,634
so not a word to anyone
until we’ve signed on the dotted line.
495
00:26:34,718 --> 00:26:37,345
Of course. We’re great at keeping secrets.
496
00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:42,017
- [clicks]
- This gonna ruin your relationship?
497
00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:42,934
Uh, yeah.
498
00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:45,312
- Ruin is probably putting it mildly.
- [sighs]
499
00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:49,190
So, I'm gonna need some assurances.
500
00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:53,236
Understood. Just tell me what you want.
501
00:26:56,364 --> 00:26:59,159
Thank you, Melrose.
You can never have too many bongs.
502
00:26:59,242 --> 00:27:00,842
Well, you can never have too many bongs.
503
00:27:00,869 --> 00:27:03,121
- [Stacey] Oh, my God!
- [all laughing]
504
00:27:03,204 --> 00:27:05,874
All right. This next one is for Tammé.
505
00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:06,875
- Ooh!
- [Stacey cheering]
506
00:27:06,958 --> 00:27:09,669
- [Keith] And it's from...
- Me. Me. It's from me.
507
00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,800
[laughing]
508
00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:18,053
- [Carmen] What's it say?
- [Tammé] "Hot Tub Club"!
509
00:27:18,136 --> 00:27:20,430
- [all laughing]
- Hot Tub Club!
510
00:27:20,972 --> 00:27:22,599
You gon' make me cry.
511
00:27:22,682 --> 00:27:24,619
- [Yolanda] No, it's supposed to be funny.
- It is!
512
00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,686
- It is. Thank you.
- [Yolanda] Okay.
513
00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:27,771
No problem.
514
00:27:28,271 --> 00:27:32,025
All right. This next one is for Arthie.
515
00:27:32,108 --> 00:27:33,318
And it's from...
516
00:27:33,401 --> 00:27:34,527
Me, me, me, me, me!
517
00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:38,657
[takes a deep breath] I'm gay.
518
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:44,120
[gentle acoustic guitar music playing]
519
00:27:44,704 --> 00:27:45,704
Uh...
520
00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:46,831
Yeah, we know.
521
00:27:49,959 --> 00:27:52,671
Well, I needed to say it out loud.
522
00:27:53,004 --> 00:27:57,342
And I should have said it sooner. [sighs]
523
00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:02,847
I'm sorry.
524
00:28:06,184 --> 00:28:07,310
Open your present.
525
00:28:09,729 --> 00:28:11,648
- [packaging rips]
- [sniffles]
526
00:28:14,025 --> 00:28:15,110
[sniffs]
527
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:21,241
[sniffs]
528
00:28:23,284 --> 00:28:24,284
What is it?
529
00:28:26,121 --> 00:28:30,709
Bobby said that rainbows are the symbol
for gay pride. Um...
530
00:28:31,251 --> 00:28:32,335
[laughs]
531
00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:35,880
- [wrestlers laugh]
- [Melrose] Aw!
532
00:28:36,339 --> 00:28:38,925
- [Stacey] Yeah, Arth!
- [laughs, sniffles]
533
00:28:39,926 --> 00:28:40,926
Thank you.
534
00:28:41,094 --> 00:28:42,094
I, um...
535
00:28:42,846 --> 00:28:44,055
also got you a Playboy.
536
00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:46,599
- [all laughing]
- [Melrose] Arthie!
537
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:48,810
[Dawn] Oh!
538
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:50,770
Show me everything.
539
00:28:51,020 --> 00:28:53,148
- Go to the center, it's the best part.
- Fuck, yeah.
540
00:28:54,149 --> 00:28:56,568
- Oh, my God.
- [all shrieking and laughing]
541
00:28:56,985 --> 00:28:59,225
- [Melrose] Yeah, show me them titties!
- [Rhonda trills]
542
00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:01,281
[Jenny] How? I don't understand.
543
00:29:01,364 --> 00:29:04,260
- [Rhonda] What don't you understand?
- [Melrose] What don't you understand?
544
00:29:04,284 --> 00:29:06,244
Hi. What'd I miss?
545
00:29:06,327 --> 00:29:08,447
Everyone’s taking a really long time
opening presents.
546
00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:10,039
- Ah.
- Who’s your Secret Santa?
547
00:29:10,123 --> 00:29:11,124
Um, Jenny.
548
00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:14,127
Oh! Oh, shit. [giggling]
549
00:29:14,252 --> 00:29:15,587
I didn't get her anything.
550
00:29:16,337 --> 00:29:19,215
What's so... Why are you so happy?
551
00:29:19,799 --> 00:29:21,801
What? Can't a girl love Christmas?
552
00:29:40,403 --> 00:29:41,403
[Rhonda] Hey.
553
00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:43,864
Hey.
554
00:29:46,242 --> 00:29:48,453
That was fun. Doing A Christmas Carol.
555
00:29:50,413 --> 00:29:51,413
Yeah.
556
00:29:51,831 --> 00:29:54,209
Yeah, I thought so too. [clears throat]
557
00:29:57,086 --> 00:29:59,506
I'm... I'm sorry I lied to you about Paul.
558
00:29:59,589 --> 00:30:00,757
I didn’t mean to.
559
00:30:01,841 --> 00:30:05,261
I wanted to keep you interested,
and then everything just kinda happened.
560
00:30:05,345 --> 00:30:08,807
- Yeah, we... You don't need to go into it.
- No, I... I do. I want to.
561
00:30:10,266 --> 00:30:12,977
I was playing Bob Cratchit, [chuckles]
562
00:30:13,353 --> 00:30:15,230
and, uh, I know it sounds stupid,
563
00:30:15,313 --> 00:30:17,315
but I was...
I was thinking about Christmas,
564
00:30:18,483 --> 00:30:20,944
and being a good person. And, um...
565
00:30:22,111 --> 00:30:25,865
I don’t want to be the kind of person
that needs to trick people. Ever.
566
00:30:28,952 --> 00:30:31,788
I wanna be honest, especially with you.
567
00:30:33,373 --> 00:30:34,582
Me too. [chuckles]
568
00:30:35,333 --> 00:30:39,337
And I'm sorry that I've been so...
d-distant and... and... and weird and...
569
00:30:40,129 --> 00:30:41,256
I think it's this place.
570
00:30:41,923 --> 00:30:44,259
And I want you to know
that I know exactly what I want.
571
00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:46,845
I want you. I want just you.
572
00:30:47,595 --> 00:30:48,595
And I want to go home.
573
00:30:48,805 --> 00:30:50,765
- I want us to go back to LA.
- [chuckles]
574
00:30:51,724 --> 00:30:52,724
Okay?
575
00:30:53,184 --> 00:30:54,184
Okay.
576
00:30:56,729 --> 00:30:57,729
Okay.
577
00:31:05,405 --> 00:31:07,115
And I want us to start a family.
578
00:31:07,198 --> 00:31:09,659
[lounge version of
"The First Noel" playing]
579
00:31:09,742 --> 00:31:11,077
[Bash sighs]
580
00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:21,921
Good lord, ladies. Who died?
581
00:31:22,171 --> 00:31:23,214
[Sandy] Rhapsody...
582
00:31:24,549 --> 00:31:25,592
closes...
583
00:31:26,301 --> 00:31:27,385
in two weeks.
584
00:31:30,430 --> 00:31:32,765
Bash pulled all of his money out.
585
00:31:33,099 --> 00:31:34,934
He has a new investment opportunity.
586
00:31:35,351 --> 00:31:37,854
Of course he does. Asshole.
587
00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:42,275
I should've... [clears throat]
...known better than to get sentimental.
588
00:31:42,358 --> 00:31:44,027
Especially in this goddamn town.
589
00:31:45,153 --> 00:31:46,362
It will demolish you.
590
00:31:49,282 --> 00:31:50,491
I feel sick.
591
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,287
I don't think... I don't think
I can fire anybody else today.
592
00:31:54,370 --> 00:31:55,914
- [Bobby] How many more to go?
- Fifty.
593
00:31:56,247 --> 00:31:57,665
Two shots of tequila.
594
00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:01,169
So... does this mean
the big room’s available?
595
00:32:01,252 --> 00:32:02,670
[laughs]
596
00:32:04,547 --> 00:32:06,883
I’ll sit there
while you fire the rest of 'em.
597
00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:08,217
You can hand out the tissue.
598
00:32:08,593 --> 00:32:09,594
[laughs]
599
00:32:11,387 --> 00:32:12,387
Fuck 'em.
600
00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:15,516
["I Am Very Happy"
by Andrea & Ervin Litkei playing]
601
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:19,520
♪ Merry, Merry Christmas, Christmas
In the air ♪
602
00:32:20,063 --> 00:32:21,773
♪ Every lovely... ♪
603
00:32:21,856 --> 00:32:23,608
[Justine] The food still hasn’t come?
604
00:32:23,691 --> 00:32:26,069
- Nope. I’m fuckin' starving.
- [Justine groans]
605
00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:27,779
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
606
00:32:30,823 --> 00:32:31,658
Aw, Come on.
607
00:32:31,741 --> 00:32:34,077
- I thought we said no presents.
- That was for real?
608
00:32:38,539 --> 00:32:40,416
Oh, great.
609
00:32:41,626 --> 00:32:43,628
Nice. I can wear that...
610
00:32:44,045 --> 00:32:46,089
- at my next court appearance.
- [Justine laughs]
611
00:32:46,673 --> 00:32:48,675
- It's for set.
- Thank you.
612
00:32:59,894 --> 00:33:00,894
Open it.
613
00:33:06,526 --> 00:33:07,526
[Justine] Hmm.
614
00:33:10,196 --> 00:33:11,196
You...
615
00:33:12,448 --> 00:33:13,825
want to adopt me?
616
00:33:14,325 --> 00:33:16,119
[chuckles] Yeah.
617
00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:20,790
- I think I’m a little old for that.
- [Sam] I know how old you are.
618
00:33:20,873 --> 00:33:22,834
All right?
I... I talked to Rosalie already.
619
00:33:22,917 --> 00:33:24,544
It's about inheritance, all right?
620
00:33:24,627 --> 00:33:27,267
I'm not on your birth certificate,
so legally, I'm not your father,
621
00:33:27,338 --> 00:33:30,008
but I am your father.
So this will make it official,
622
00:33:30,091 --> 00:33:32,135
and then you can inherit
all the good shit.
623
00:33:32,218 --> 00:33:35,847
You know, when I die, which, you know,
might be sooner than we think.
624
00:33:42,186 --> 00:33:43,354
You got a pen?
625
00:33:48,609 --> 00:33:49,610
Yeah.
626
00:33:54,365 --> 00:33:55,408
[sniffles]
627
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,173
[sighs]
628
00:34:13,134 --> 00:34:15,136
How's that feel... to be...
629
00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:18,347
officially my daughter?
630
00:34:19,098 --> 00:34:20,558
Hmm, about the same.
631
00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:22,518
- [Sam] All right.
- [laughs]
632
00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:24,854
[The Carpenters' "Home for the Holidays"
playing]
633
00:34:25,354 --> 00:34:31,152
♪ Oh, there's no place like home
For the holidays ♪
634
00:34:31,569 --> 00:34:35,490
♪ For no matter
How far away you roam... ♪
635
00:34:35,573 --> 00:34:36,949
Delayed. Of course.
636
00:34:37,033 --> 00:34:40,495
I’m gonna go to the bar and drown
my fear of flying in a bottle of Merlot.
637
00:34:40,578 --> 00:34:42,371
See you losers in '87.
638
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:45,833
My parents are both picking me up
from the airport. [chuckles]
639
00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:47,376
Are they gonna recognize you?
640
00:34:47,460 --> 00:34:50,838
It’ll be fine. I’m gonna hold up a sign
with both their names on it.
641
00:34:52,256 --> 00:34:53,674
Have fun in Omaha.
642
00:34:57,678 --> 00:34:58,596
Gate B7.
643
00:34:58,679 --> 00:35:00,848
I’m B5. Redwood National Park,
here I come! [chuckles]
644
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:03,643
Where is the arrivals board?
I have to meet Ernest at his gate.
645
00:35:03,726 --> 00:35:05,019
Oh, arrivals are upstairs.
646
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:06,687
- Oh.
- [Jenny] Let's go together.
647
00:35:08,231 --> 00:35:10,900
Hey, you wanna play slots for ten minutes
before we board?
648
00:35:10,983 --> 00:35:14,445
- [as Ethel] For old times' sake?
- I thought you’d never ask. [laughs]
649
00:35:15,196 --> 00:35:16,948
So, you gonna wear that all the time now?
650
00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:20,827
Yes, I am. I'm part of the community now,
and I'm ready to fight.
651
00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:24,288
[sighs] It's like I taught you nothing.
[scoffs]
652
00:35:26,624 --> 00:35:28,584
- [Arthie] Hey, wait up.
- You on my flight to LA?
653
00:35:28,668 --> 00:35:30,086
[sighs] Um,
654
00:35:30,169 --> 00:35:33,422
I'm actually not going back to LA.
I'm gonna meet up with Kurt in Phoenix.
655
00:35:34,090 --> 00:35:35,716
- Oh, that'll be nice.
- Hey.
656
00:35:37,385 --> 00:35:38,886
Um... [exhales]
657
00:35:39,011 --> 00:35:40,011
Look...
658
00:35:40,388 --> 00:35:43,391
thank you for giving me a job, but, um...
659
00:35:43,724 --> 00:35:44,934
I wanna wrestle.
660
00:35:45,226 --> 00:35:47,061
And I can't do that here anymore,
661
00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:49,730
so I'm gonna join up with Kurt
on the road.
662
00:35:50,064 --> 00:35:51,274
No, Carmen. Don't quit.
663
00:35:51,357 --> 00:35:53,442
Don't... Don't make any decisions
right now.
664
00:35:53,526 --> 00:35:55,403
If you can, just... sit tight.
665
00:35:55,486 --> 00:35:57,780
We're gonna have some new opportunities
to offer you.
666
00:35:58,447 --> 00:35:59,282
Like what?
667
00:35:59,365 --> 00:36:01,742
It's... Oh, my God.
I can't talk about it right now,
668
00:36:01,826 --> 00:36:03,744
- but Bash and I...
- [Carmen] Debbie.
669
00:36:03,828 --> 00:36:06,289
Please don't make this any harder
than it actually is.
670
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,918
I didn't tell the girls
'cause I didn't want to ruin Christmas.
671
00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:15,756
What the... Uh...
672
00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:20,219
- I can't believe she just did that.
- I know, that was so stupid. [exhales]
673
00:36:20,678 --> 00:36:21,678
Really?
674
00:36:23,014 --> 00:36:25,183
I thought it was kind of brave.
675
00:36:27,810 --> 00:36:30,563
Oh, shit. My flight is boarding.
676
00:36:30,938 --> 00:36:32,658
No, it just said it was delayed.
I gotta go.
677
00:36:32,690 --> 00:36:34,108
I can't miss my connecting flight.
678
00:36:34,650 --> 00:36:38,446
♪ From Pennsylvania
Folks are travelin' down ♪
679
00:36:38,529 --> 00:36:40,531
♪ To Dixie's sunny shore... ♪
680
00:36:40,615 --> 00:36:41,615
Ruth.
681
00:36:43,409 --> 00:36:46,370
- Ruth!
- ♪ Gee, the traffic is terrific ♪
682
00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:51,459
♪ Oh, there's no place
Like home for the holidays ♪
683
00:36:51,542 --> 00:36:52,376
[Debbie] Ruth!
684
00:36:52,460 --> 00:36:53,961
♪ 'Cause no matter ♪
685
00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:56,255
- ♪ How far away you roam ♪
- Ruth!
686
00:36:56,339 --> 00:36:57,339
Ruth!
687
00:36:57,757 --> 00:37:03,095
♪ If you want to be happy
In a million ways ♪
688
00:37:03,596 --> 00:37:05,389
♪ For the holidays ♪
689
00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:08,893
- ♪ You can't beat home sweet home ♪
- Ruth!
690
00:37:09,018 --> 00:37:12,313
- ♪ For the holidays ♪
- [Debbie] Ruth!
691
00:37:12,521 --> 00:37:15,566
- ♪ You can't beat home sweet home... ♪
- [panting] Ruth! Ruth!
692
00:37:15,650 --> 00:37:18,319
What is wrong with you?
You didn't hear me yelling your name?
693
00:37:18,402 --> 00:37:22,031
- No. What's wrong?
- Nothing's wrong. It's... [stammers]
694
00:37:22,114 --> 00:37:24,617
B-Bash is buying a TV network,
and I'm gonna be the president.
695
00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:27,119
And we're gonna program
a new wrestling show
696
00:37:27,203 --> 00:37:29,622
with new characters because,
you know, we...
697
00:37:29,705 --> 00:37:33,167
we have no legal rights to the old ones.
[stammering] And... And... And I want...
698
00:37:33,334 --> 00:37:34,585
you to direct it.
699
00:37:35,253 --> 00:37:36,253
Debbie,
700
00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:39,382
- [laughing] how did you...
- [Debbie] Tex had a deal,
701
00:37:39,465 --> 00:37:43,261
and I fucking stole it. [laughs]
And I brought it to Bash, and it worked.
702
00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:44,762
I mean, it fucking worked.
703
00:37:44,845 --> 00:37:47,723
And I...
I... I'm going to build us an Eden.
704
00:37:48,432 --> 00:37:50,268
Where we run the show. You and me.
705
00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:53,437
No more auditions, no more being
at the mercy of these fucking idiots.
706
00:37:53,521 --> 00:37:54,647
We’ll call the shots.
707
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:58,484
- [chuckles]
- And... you want me to... direct?
708
00:37:58,818 --> 00:38:01,737
If being an actor was gonna happen
for you, it would've happened by now.
709
00:38:01,821 --> 00:38:03,781
How many times are you gonna break
your own heart?
710
00:38:04,532 --> 00:38:06,200
You don't have to stay in Vegas.
711
00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:09,245
You don't have to keep auditioning
for people who don't... want you.
712
00:38:09,328 --> 00:38:12,373
Because I found us an off-ramp
that's also...
713
00:38:12,456 --> 00:38:14,709
God, it's a fucking catapult
into our future!
714
00:38:15,084 --> 00:38:18,337
So I wanted to just tell you that.
And that...
715
00:38:20,965 --> 00:38:22,758
And Merry Christmas. [sighs]
716
00:38:29,598 --> 00:38:32,059
That’s your catapult.
717
00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:33,769
Not mine.
718
00:38:34,854 --> 00:38:37,189
[sighs] Oh, Jesus. Just say thank you.
719
00:38:38,774 --> 00:38:41,569
I don’t want what you want.
720
00:38:43,529 --> 00:38:44,947
You don’t want to be happy?
721
00:38:45,448 --> 00:38:47,241
Successful? Uh, powerful?
722
00:38:48,242 --> 00:38:50,953
I don’t want an off-ramp.
723
00:38:51,829 --> 00:38:53,456
I never even got on the road.
724
00:38:54,832 --> 00:38:58,377
So, what are you gonna do? You're gonna...
[scoffs]...read plays with Sheila?
725
00:38:58,461 --> 00:39:01,213
Come on, Ruth. Make a move!
726
00:39:01,964 --> 00:39:02,964
[woman] Ma’am?
727
00:39:03,341 --> 00:39:04,967
Excuse me, are you boarding this flight?
728
00:39:05,343 --> 00:39:07,303
Sorry, we're just
in the middle of something.
729
00:39:07,845 --> 00:39:10,431
[flight attendant]
We’ll be closing the door to the Jetway.
730
00:39:10,598 --> 00:39:11,598
I’m coming.
731
00:39:13,142 --> 00:39:14,935
What are you... I don't understand you.
732
00:39:16,437 --> 00:39:17,646
Yes, you do.
733
00:39:18,981 --> 00:39:20,649
Probably better than anyone.
734
00:39:27,406 --> 00:39:28,449
Don't...
735
00:39:30,493 --> 00:39:34,663
♪ Should old acquaintance ♪
736
00:39:34,747 --> 00:39:37,833
♪ Be forgot ♪
737
00:39:38,417 --> 00:39:45,049
♪ And never brought to mind? ♪
738
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:49,553
♪ Should old acquaintance ♪
739
00:39:49,970 --> 00:39:53,057
♪ Be forgot ♪
740
00:39:53,808 --> 00:40:00,648
♪ In days of auld lang syne? ♪
741
00:40:01,148 --> 00:40:07,238
♪ For auld lang syne ♪
742
00:40:07,321 --> 00:40:09,198
♪ My dear ♪
743
00:40:09,824 --> 00:40:16,580
♪ For auld lang syne ♪
744
00:40:16,789 --> 00:40:21,043
♪ We'll take a cup ♪
745
00:40:21,335 --> 00:40:25,923
♪ Of kindness yet ♪
746
00:40:26,340 --> 00:40:33,264
♪ For auld lang syne ♪
747
00:40:34,306 --> 00:40:39,270
♪ For auld lang syne ♪
748
00:40:39,562 --> 00:40:41,272
♪ My dear ♪
749
00:40:41,397 --> 00:40:48,362
♪ For auld lang syne ♪
750
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:52,783
♪ We'll take a cup ♪
751
00:40:52,867 --> 00:40:55,786
♪ Of kindness yet ♪
752
00:40:55,870 --> 00:41:01,417
♪ For auld lang syne ♪