1
00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:05,175
This one is for you, Claire.
2
00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:08,267
You gave me Roger's.
3
00:00:08,269 --> 00:00:10,709
Oh, why have I got
feet for hands?
4
00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,706
I thought you do
have feet for hands.
5
00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,878
Ben, you haven't
said anything in a while.
6
00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:17,764
I-I just finished every
episode of Buddy N' Andy,
7
00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:19,366
so I'm pretty proud of that.
8
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,057
And I've been playing
some video poker,
9
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:22,984
and, uh...
Oh, the food truck.
10
00:00:22,979 --> 00:00:25,939
"Does not meet
our current
publishing needs."
11
00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:28,028
You don't know what
fucking publishing needs.
12
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,548
It's why the industry's dying.
13
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:33,512
[SOFT MUSIC]
14
00:00:33,511 --> 00:00:35,771
♪ ♪
15
00:00:36,645 --> 00:00:38,165
This is amazing.
16
00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:39,298
You should do this
for a living.
17
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:42,740
[SNORTS AND LAUGHS]
18
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:43,908
[CHUCKLES]
19
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:45,353
Oh, come on.
20
00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:47,129
You're not gonna give it up
for that Maserati?
21
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,314
I call witty gems Maseratis.
22
00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:50,790
Mm.That wasn't even a Kia.
23
00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:53,009
Hey, it was more
than a Kia. [SCOFFS]
24
00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:55,359
For what?
All you did was say
that he should do
25
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:57,619
what he does for a living,
which he does.
26
00:00:57,622 --> 00:00:59,972
Yeah.
Isn't it ironic?
27
00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:01,802
No.
28
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,670
You and Alanis Morissette
need to go in on a dictionary.
29
00:01:03,672 --> 00:01:05,372
Okay, okay.
Get off of Claire's back.
30
00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:07,849
This dinner, in large part,
is in honor of her
31
00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:10,160
because she's getting an award
at her college, aren't ya,
32
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:11,377
for a doodling contest.
33
00:01:11,375 --> 00:01:13,245
Oh, I don't doodle.
I do portraitures.
34
00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:14,807
Again,
you need a dictionary.
35
00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,123
That's not a word.
36
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:17,509
Uh, artists use it.
37
00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:19,692
It's "portrait"
with "ure" at the end.
38
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:23,208
No, it's "d" with "umb"
at the end.
39
00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:26,003
You know, I should say
we're not just
honoring Claire.
40
00:01:25,998 --> 00:01:27,518
I, uh...
41
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:28,872
I made it to the finals.
42
00:01:29,785 --> 00:01:31,215
Finals of what?
43
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,401
Oh, that's right.
I didn't tell you.
44
00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:33,746
Promise not to mock me?
45
00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:34,955
I promise.
46
00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:36,664
Video poker tournament.
47
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:38,231
[SNORTS] What?
48
00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:39,878
You just promised.
49
00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:41,412
Oh, come on.
You were gonna
tell me anyway.
50
00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:43,665
I'm just speeding
the process along.
51
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,058
Well, I think
it's great, Ben.
52
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,191
Congratulations.
53
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,413
Thank you very much.
54
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,152
You know, it turns out,
I was one of the top players
over the last couple months,
55
00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,893
so I racked up a bunch
of points on my player's card.
56
00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:53,644
So, what,
you've been going
to a casino?
57
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,455
CLAIRE: He's made
some money lately.
58
00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:57,293
He can do whatever the fuck
he wants with it.
59
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:58,811
I'm just trying to be
the voice of reason
over here,
60
00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:00,214
'cause every time you have
a good thing going,
61
00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:01,857
you have to sabotage it.
62
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:04,080
Shouldn't be
giving your money
to a fucking casino.
63
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,600
Oh, okay.
64
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,393
Well, by the way,
I win sometimes too, so...
65
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,738
Well, sure,
you win sometimes.
66
00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:10,167
They're gonna
let you win sometimes
67
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:12,133
so you'll keep playing
and lose.
68
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,832
Also, you know,
69
00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:15,959
going to a casino, that's
just like going to a bar.
70
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,141
What are you talking about?
71
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,697
Well, there's free booze
everywhere.
72
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:20,493
What bar do you know
that gives away free booze?
73
00:02:20,488 --> 00:02:22,448
And by the way, you know what?
It's not exactly free.
74
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,056
You still gotta tip
a couple chips.
75
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:26,446
Well, it's not
the casino chips
I'm worried about, okay?
76
00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:27,840
It's your sobriety chip,
77
00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:29,283
'cause you gotta
be careful with that.
78
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:30,849
Okay, great.
79
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:32,196
I make a nice meal,
we're trying to celebrate,
80
00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:33,755
and you gotta shit
all over it. Cool.
81
00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,067
[SIGHS]
82
00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:38,419
You're right.
83
00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:39,899
I'm sorry.
84
00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:41,988
Congratulations
on your dumb-ass drawing
85
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:44,767
and your stupid fucking
video poker tournament.
86
00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:47,043
There.
Was that so hard?
87
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:51,821
[FRANZ FERDINAND'S
STAND ON THE HORIZONPLAYS]
88
00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:54,573
♪ ♪
89
00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:03,709
So anyway,
Louise hasn't been answering
90
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:06,225
any of my calls,
texts, or pages.
91
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:08,539
She still has a pager?
92
00:03:08,536 --> 00:03:10,406
Yeah, I got her one
for emergencies,
93
00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,797
you know, in case she's not
answering my calls or texts.
94
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,021
What's a pager?
95
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:18,717
Uh, yeah,
before phones
were cellular,
96
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,940
we used to have
these sardine
can-sized devices
97
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,290
that we carried around
to let you know
98
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:24,600
when people were trying
to reach you.
99
00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,855
Oh, and then
you text them back?
100
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:29,908
Nah, you could only
get numbers, that's it.
101
00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:32,205
If you could get numbers,
why couldn't you get letters?
102
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,822
'Cause we were all
fuckin' idiots.
103
00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:35,002
Is that what
you want to hear?
104
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:36,607
Hey, man, take it easy.
I'm just...
105
00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:39,477
All right, I'm sorry.
I'm just...
106
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:40,790
I'm pissed off.
107
00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:42,265
Why? What's going on?
108
00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:46,525
I saw an ad
for a robot vacuum cleaner,
109
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:48,790
and I'm like,
"I thought of that."
110
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,843
No, man, they had that
back on The Jetsons.
111
00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:52,139
That's when
I thought of it.
112
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,104
I was like,
"Somebody should make that."
113
00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:58,023
Cry me a river.
I invented the first-ever
selfie stick.
114
00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,850
How did you come...
Okay, that makes sense.
115
00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:02,328
Yeah, I called it
the Roger Rod.
116
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:03,589
[CHUCKLES]
117
00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:04,901
I should've patented it,
I guess.
118
00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:06,156
But I just didn't think
that anybody else
119
00:04:06,158 --> 00:04:07,808
would be interested,
honestly.
120
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:10,082
I also invented
the trombone stick,
121
00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:11,595
the hitchhiking stick,
122
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:12,859
the ass-wiping...
123
00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:14,821
Sticks, we get it, okay.
I have a share.
124
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,599
Hey, no.
Roger's not done talking yet.
125
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:19,654
I just made the finals
126
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:22,040
of a video poker tournament.
127
00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:23,224
STEVIE: Holy shit, man.Whoo!
128
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:24,309
That's fucking awesome, man.
129
00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,347
Mazel fuckin' tov, yeah.
130
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,363
Thank you very much,
everyone.
131
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,135
You know,
it does my heart
a lot of good
132
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:31,839
to hear all them
"attaboys"
133
00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:35,316
because the asshole that
I live with trivialized it.
134
00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:38,058
I didn't trivialize it.
I said it was stupid
and dangerous.
135
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:41,500
Hey, making the finals
in anything is a big deal,
even the WNBA.
136
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:43,498
Hey, hey.
That's sexist, Tony.
137
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,460
No worries, Tony.
I take no offense.
138
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:46,939
Thank you very much.
139
00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:49,678
I don't know. I think
I agree with Loudermilk.
140
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,120
Gambling is bad.
141
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,196
You own a casino.
142
00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:53,774
Well, my tribe does.
143
00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:56,861
I'm only responsible
for the buffet, and...
And...
144
00:04:56,861 --> 00:04:59,861
Sometimes I see a lot
of sad faces at that buffet.
145
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,084
Maybe the food sucks.Not a chance.
146
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:05,044
We have the best
chicken a la king
in Washington State.
147
00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:08,573
Hey, maybe we could go
to the tournament.
148
00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:12,529
Wow. That would
be so supportive.
149
00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:15,529
Well, where is it?Tukwila.
150
00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:18,102
Ooh, that
sounds exotic.
151
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,490
We should all
book tickets.
152
00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,933
No, no, it's actually
only 16 miles from here.
153
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:24,320
No fuckin' way.
I think I've been there.
154
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,764
How weird is that?
155
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:29,070
It's not weird.
It's only 16 miles away.
156
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,897
There's, like,
four or five casinos there.
157
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,065
It's like Vegas, man.
158
00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:33,200
Do they have whores?MUGSY: Ed...
159
00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:34,812
Ladies of the evening.
160
00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:36,072
Right, right.
161
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,644
Edward, please.
This is a classy place.
162
00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:39,161
It's gonna be crawling
with hookers.
163
00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:40,474
[ED LAUGHS]
164
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:41,780
Wow, this is
exciting shit, man.
165
00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:43,816
It's gonna be like
our very own Hangover.
166
00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:47,001
Okay, Hangoverwas about
a bunch of guys
getting blackout drunk.
167
00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:49,648
Do none of you cretins
see the problem with this?
168
00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:51,393
Well, actually,
the underlying story
169
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:53,884
was about the bonds
of friendship.
170
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,915
Right, so it'll be like
Hangoverwithout the drinking.
171
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,531
I think
you just described hell.
172
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:00,662
Okay, you know what?
Cisco, don't even
listen to him.
173
00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,974
Guy just wants
to piss on everyone's parade.
174
00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:06,321
What parade?
You're in a video poker
tournament.
175
00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:08,022
It just means
that you've blown enough money
176
00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:09,369
that they're inviting you back
177
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,239
to the loser playoffs
to blow more.
178
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,940
Okay, dude,
when are you gonna admit
that you've hit a bad streak
179
00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:15,718
and just don't want
to see anyone else triumph?
180
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,123
[CHUCKLING]
Bad streak.
181
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:19,195
That implies that Loudermilk
has good streaks.
182
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:20,904
BEN: Yeah, well, this one's
worse than normal.
183
00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:22,772
First he finds out
he has a baby brother,
184
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:25,523
then Lizzie Poole
reminds him what a box
of negativity he is,
185
00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:28,255
then he finally finishes
his book, and any bites?
186
00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,907
No, just a bunch
of rejection letters.
187
00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:32,351
Oh, you know what?
Fuck off.
188
00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:34,308
Hey, could you two
lovebirds take the spat
back to the nest?
189
00:06:34,306 --> 00:06:36,176
We're trying to plan
a fuckin' road trip here.
190
00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:37,568
[ED CHUCKLES]Road trip?
191
00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,661
It's 16 miles away from here.
192
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,490
Fuck yeah, road trip.
193
00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:44,188
Let's all pile in
and go in my van!
194
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:46,616
[CHEERS AND LAUGHTER]
195
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:49,583
[DOWNBEAT ROCK MUSIC]
196
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:52,413
♪ ♪
197
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,242
Hey, Roger.
198
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:56,109
Hello.
199
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:58,201
Um...
200
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:02,550
I have some exciting news,
and it kinda... Okay,
201
00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:05,432
very much
has to do with you.
202
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,375
I'm getting an award
at college
203
00:07:07,383 --> 00:07:09,913
for a drawing I did of you.
204
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:12,387
You've been sketching me?[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
205
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:14,298
Well, everyone
in class was asked
206
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:17,053
to draw the most inspiring
person they know,
207
00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:19,215
and I drew you.
208
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:22,311
I'm the most
inspiring person
you know?
209
00:07:22,311 --> 00:07:24,051
Yeah.Why?
210
00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:25,792
Well, you know.
211
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:27,713
No, no, I actually don't.
212
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:31,408
Oh, well, um,
you just... You...
213
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:36,147
You know, you've...
You've accomplished
so much.
214
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:37,811
With what?
215
00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:39,885
You know...
216
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,294
Your drumming.
217
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:42,456
Oh.
218
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,812
I didn't know you were a fan.
219
00:07:43,811 --> 00:07:46,641
Oh, sure. Huge, yeah.Oh, wow.
220
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,290
Anyway, they're giving me
an award tomorrow at school,
221
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:52,824
and they wanted
to give you an award too.
222
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,910
Want to give me an award?Mm-hmm.
223
00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:56,389
Why?
224
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:58,958
Well, normally the award
just goes to the artist,
225
00:07:58,956 --> 00:08:01,476
not the subject
of the drawing.
226
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:05,051
But after my professor
saw my portraiture of you,
227
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:06,879
he wanted
to give you an award.
228
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,621
Really?
229
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:12,189
So he knows about
my drumming as well.
230
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,447
Mm-hmm.
231
00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:15,449
Wow, ain't that lovely?
232
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,671
Just when you think
people might have
forgotten your work,
233
00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:20,021
you realize that music
can just live on.
234
00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:22,722
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
235
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:25,029
Oh, so it's not enough
that you lose in a casino.
236
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,976
Now you gotta lose
at home too?
237
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,904
Well, isn't this illegal?
238
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:32,029
No, it's totally legal
on this...
239
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:33,513
Albanian website.
240
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,863
And I'm good at it too.
I was way down.
241
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:37,262
Now I'm only down, like,
3,000 leks.
242
00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:40,035
Relax, that's
around 30 bucks.
243
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:43,001
Uh, okay, I think
what you're doing here
is self-sabotaging
244
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,870
and a little scary,
but let's table that.
245
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:46,442
[COMPUTER CHIMES]
246
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:48,268
I think you actually might've
hit on something today.
247
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,086
Is that right?
248
00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,974
You know,
I don't even remember
a thing I said.
249
00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:53,576
I was just trying
to be mean to you.
What did I hit on?
250
00:08:53,576 --> 00:08:56,186
[SIGHS]
Well, you're probably right
251
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:59,497
about the Clyde thing hitting
me harder than I thought.
252
00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:01,235
And I'm pissed off
about the rejections
253
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:02,626
'cause it's
a good fucking book.
254
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,849
Mm-hmm.
255
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:07,758
But his Lizzie Poole thing,
man, it's really killing me.
256
00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:09,644
I just...
I think she's awesome.
257
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,286
Okay, good share.
258
00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:13,989
Hey, we're not in a group,
and that's not a share.
259
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:16,158
I'm trying to tell my fucking
friend what's on my mind.
260
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:17,474
[GROANS]
261
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:18,909
Now I just lost
another 100 leks
262
00:09:18,906 --> 00:09:20,466
thanks to that
distracting babble.
263
00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:21,602
If you'll excuse me.
264
00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,653
♪ ♪
265
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,698
Yo.
266
00:09:32,702 --> 00:09:35,842
Sorry, it took me a while
to get my drums into the car.
267
00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:37,356
Can you help me
carry them in?
268
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:40,139
Uh, no, no, no, no.
That won't be necessary.
269
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:42,934
They'll probably just
show my drawing of you,
270
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:45,110
and then after
they give us our awards,
271
00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:46,666
they might ask us
to say something.
272
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,893
It's...Oh, okay.
273
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:51,422
Well, in order
to rouse the students
properly,
274
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,506
do you think
I should talk more
about my musical career
275
00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:56,465
or the somewhat inspiring way
I overcame addiction?
276
00:09:57,553 --> 00:09:59,383
Either-or.All right.
277
00:09:59,381 --> 00:10:01,381
Well, there he is
in person.
278
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:04,173
Oh. Roger,
this is Professor Phelps.
279
00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:06,338
He's the one who insisted
you get an award too.
280
00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:08,914
Oh, well, let me say
on record I like you already.
281
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,482
[BOTH LAUGH]
282
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:12,219
Are you sure you don't want me
to go and get my drums?
283
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:14,140
Drums? For what?
284
00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:15,525
To play them.
285
00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:17,137
'Cause I'm a drummer.
286
00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:19,748
You are? Oh, my God,
that's incredible.
287
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:21,449
Hey, make sure
you mention that
in your speech.
288
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:24,186
You didn't know
I was a drummer?
289
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:27,058
Oh, I-I could've sworn
I mentioned that.
290
00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:30,371
Oh, no, you did. You did.
Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
291
00:10:30,368 --> 00:10:32,938
They don't call us
absent-minded professors
for nothing.
292
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:34,716
[ALL CHUCKLE]
293
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,291
Well, let's get this show
on the road.All right.
294
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:37,897
The class is ready
for you, Roger.Yeah.
295
00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,728
Um, I thought
I'd go first,
296
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:42,076
you know, 'cause
it's my drawing,
so I just assumed.
297
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:43,466
All right, everyone.
298
00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:46,208
Please give a warm welcome
to Roger Frostly.
299
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,650
[APPLAUSE]
300
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,825
Roger is the subject
301
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:55,916
of Claire's
award-winning portraiture.
302
00:10:55,916 --> 00:10:58,136
[APPLAUSE]
303
00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,883
Claire,
would you do the honors?
304
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:11,502
[CLASS MURMURING]
305
00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:14,146
[APPLAUSE]
306
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:20,852
Well, I hate
to disappoint you,
307
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:22,774
but I haven't really
got feathers.
308
00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:24,209
[LAUGHTER]
309
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:26,555
I used to, but I flew
into a power line
310
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:27,815
and my wings
are in the shop.
311
00:11:27,817 --> 00:11:29,507
[LAUGHTER]
312
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,134
[MELLOW MUSIC]
313
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:33,165
But in Germany,
it's crazy 'cause they...
314
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,910
They, like, make you play
for an hour and a half.
315
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,091
It was nuts, honestly.
316
00:11:36,086 --> 00:11:38,346
That's crazy.
317
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:41,219
And again, Claire,
I'm really sorry we didn't
have time for your speech.
318
00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:42,922
Just Roger
was so captivating.
319
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:45,399
Yeah, yeah, he was...
He was good.
320
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:48,140
Um, wasn't I supposed
to get an award too?
321
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:50,802
Oh, yeah.
Uh, I think it's still
on my desk.
322
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,227
Why don't you
run back and get it?
323
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:53,803
Okay.
324
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,800
Again, that was
really amazing in there.
325
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,282
That's the first time
all semester
326
00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:58,811
my students have looked up
from their phones.
327
00:11:58,805 --> 00:11:59,935
[CHUCKLES]
328
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,626
Actually, a couple
of them think
329
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,423
that maybe
I'm quasi-cool now
because of you.
330
00:12:03,418 --> 00:12:05,638
[CHUCKLES] Hey, hey.[LAUGHS]
331
00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:07,117
Hi.Hi.
332
00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:08,637
I don't want us to sound
stalkerish or anything,
333
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,950
but I am a huge fan of yours.
334
00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:12,817
Really?Yeah.
335
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,299
Roger, this
is my sister Arielle.
336
00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:16,038
I made the mistake
of telling her about you,
337
00:12:16,039 --> 00:12:18,259
and, well, she insisted
on coming to my class today.
338
00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:19,609
Stop it.
339
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:20,998
Listen, I'm sure
you want to get out of here,
340
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,311
but if I could just
have a minute?
341
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:23,826
Oh, I'll give you three.
342
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:26,310
Wow, generous.That's me, to a fault.
343
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:27,440
[CHUCKLES]
344
00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:28,662
Okay, so here's the deal.
345
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:29,970
We have an event
tomorrow night.
346
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:32,056
My event, The Bravies.
347
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,227
The what?The Bravies.
348
00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:37,192
♪HowBraveAreYou?Mm-hmm.
349
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:39,021
It's one of the biggest
charities in all of Seattle.
350
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:40,409
And definitely the most fun.
351
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:42,501
Ah.Huh?
352
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,420
I'm in the music business,
so we get a lot
of great bands in,
353
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:47,025
and we give out a bunch of
awards, raise a ton of money.
354
00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:48,457
Oh, nice.Mm-hmm.
355
00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:50,473
So how exactly can I help?
356
00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:53,765
Well, we would like
to honor you.
357
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:58,079
[CHUCKLES]
It's been a hell of a week.
358
00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,211
[LAUGHS]
359
00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:00,523
It would mean
so much to us
360
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:02,648
as a charity
to have you up there.
361
00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:04,171
Mm, but you said
it was tomorrow night.
362
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:05,484
Mm-hmm.
363
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,660
Don't you already have
an honoree?
364
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,915
Yeah, we have several.
365
00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:11,488
But you would make
a great addition.
366
00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:14,658
Hmm.
367
00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:15,933
Please?
368
00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:18,275
Roger, please let us
honor you.
369
00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:22,981
I'd be delighted and honored
to be your honoree.
370
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,146
Ah! [CHUCKLES]
371
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:25,591
Professor Phelps?
372
00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:27,847
I couldn't find my trophy
on your desk.
373
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,850
Oh, it's not a trophy,
Claire.
374
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,422
It's a certificate.
375
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:33,509
Oh, but he got a...
376
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,815
I'll just pick it up
next week.
377
00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:39,819
[MELLOW MUSIC]
378
00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:43,262
All right, who wants
to go first today?
379
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:45,347
[SIGHS]
380
00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:47,956
How many times
do I gotta tell you
this isn't the third grade?
381
00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:49,957
Put your fucking
hand down, Mugsy.
382
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,314
Well?
383
00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:57,491
I almost took an Ambien
last night.
384
00:13:57,488 --> 00:14:00,878
I didn't, but, uh,
I've been having
trouble sleeping lately.
385
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:02,623
Why do you even
have an Ambien?
386
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:04,634
Oh, no,
it's not for me.
387
00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:07,106
It's for my kids when they
come and visit, you know?
388
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:09,457
They have my ex-wife's
hyper genes.
389
00:14:09,457 --> 00:14:11,457
Oh, my God.I don't know, man.
390
00:14:11,459 --> 00:14:13,979
Do you remember
that feeling when
you were a kid
391
00:14:13,983 --> 00:14:18,423
and you were just excited
about something coming up,
392
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,692
like Christmas
morning or...
393
00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:23,725
The grand opening
of a new RadioShack
or something?
394
00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:26,392
Ever since we decided
to go to the casino
395
00:14:26,387 --> 00:14:29,737
for Ben's video poker
Hangoverthing,
396
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:31,908
time has not been able
to go fast enough.
397
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,524
Yeah.
I'm stoked too.
398
00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:35,144
With Louise shunning me,
399
00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:37,085
it's the only thing I have
to look forward to in my life.
400
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:38,703
That's pathetic.
401
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,013
Oh, yeah,
I'm aware of that.
402
00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:44,097
What are you
so happy about?
403
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,100
Well, can't someone smile
for no reason?
404
00:14:46,102 --> 00:14:47,842
Sure, if you're
psychotic.
405
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:49,803
All right,
if you must know,
406
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:52,891
I am being honored
at a charity event
tomorrow night,
407
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,722
and I've just found out
that I'm gonna be
walking up the red carpet.
408
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,980
Oh.Who's honoring you?
409
00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:00,424
Oh, Claire's professor's
sister is organizing
the event,
410
00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:02,341
and he told her
all about me.
411
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,596
Wait, how do you know
Claire's professor?
412
00:15:04,599 --> 00:15:07,339
Professor Phelps.
I met him in class.Mm.
413
00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:09,001
What the fuck
are you doing
in her class?
414
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:10,995
Well, accepting
my other award.
415
00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:12,737
What other...
Why do I feel like I'm in
416
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:15,437
the worst
Abbott and Costello
routine ever?
417
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,256
No, that would be Who's on Chemo?
418
00:15:17,264 --> 00:15:19,964
When they gave me an award
for my portraiture of Roger,
419
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:22,312
they also gave
Roger an award.
420
00:15:22,312 --> 00:15:24,142
Why?
421
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,710
I was the
entire inspiration
for her art.
422
00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:29,018
If she gets an award,
so should I.
423
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:32,535
Oh, yeah, I think Mona Lisa
kept her trophies
right next to da Vinci's.
424
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:33,890
All right, I get it.
425
00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:35,589
For a while, I thought
it was ridiculous too.
426
00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,406
But Phelpsy said
it was for a good cause.
427
00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:38,944
Wait, you call him
Phelpsy?
428
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,328
Yeah, yeah. He called me
a couple of times today.
429
00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:43,641
That guy is a nutter.
[LAUGHS]
430
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:45,158
Anyway, I know it's silly.
431
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:46,731
But being honored
and, you know,
432
00:15:46,728 --> 00:15:48,158
being first-row fancy again,
433
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:49,734
it's kind of pumped up
my ego.
434
00:15:49,731 --> 00:15:51,211
Oh, you see?
435
00:15:51,211 --> 00:15:53,651
That is exactly how they
treat me at the casino.
436
00:15:53,648 --> 00:15:55,518
Well, yeah,
lose any more
money there,
437
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:57,959
and they'll probably give you
front-row seats to Carrot Top.
438
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,307
Oh, great.
That's really,
really great.
439
00:15:59,306 --> 00:16:01,216
Well, Carrot Top
doesn't perform there.
440
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:03,011
Screech does.Who?
441
00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,955
Motherfucker.
Screech. Huh?
442
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,102
From Saved by the Bell.
443
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:10,357
I thought he only
did porn now.
444
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,620
He does some porn,
but that doesn't define him.
445
00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:14,583
Anyway, the good news is that
446
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:16,412
I've got an extra seat
for you, Loudermilk.
447
00:16:17,759 --> 00:16:19,539
For Loudermilk?
What about me?
448
00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:20,813
Hmm, what?
449
00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:22,065
Well, it's because
of my drawing
450
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,808
that all of this
is happening,
451
00:16:23,808 --> 00:16:26,638
so shouldn't I get some
of the big-shot perks?
452
00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:29,337
Aw, sorry.
I was only given
a plus-one.
453
00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:32,506
And Loudermilk's been
in such a pitiful,
miserable slump recently,
454
00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:34,913
I thought it'd be nice for him
to be treated like a VIP
455
00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:37,076
by association
for one night.
456
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,913
Fuck off.
457
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:43,000
Maybe I'll just go to Ben's
video poker lose-off instead.
458
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,312
Oh, well, I guess
you're stuck with me,
Roger.
459
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:47,268
Wow, are they really
giving us front-row seats?
460
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:49,047
That's what Arielle
said, yeah.Cool.
461
00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:51,267
Wait, did...
462
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:53,581
Phelpsy's sister,
is that Arielle Phelps?
463
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:55,007
Yep.
464
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,934
She's a major fucking
music producer.
465
00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:58,228
Yeah, yeah, I know.
466
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:00,762
They sending us a limo?
467
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:02,108
Stretch, baby!
[CHUCKLES]
468
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:05,108
We're back!
[IMITATES DRUMROLL]
469
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:06,901
Whoo-hoo!
470
00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:08,975
♪ ♪
471
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,505
All right, Tony,
since you're riding shotgun,
472
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:16,640
your job is to look out for
the cops and to keep me awake.
473
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:17,954
Aye, aye.
474
00:17:17,949 --> 00:17:19,079
Hey, no stopping
except for gas.
475
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:20,431
I'll take second shift.
476
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:22,130
[CHUCKLES]
I got a empty milk jug
477
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:23,868
in case anyone
needs to pee.
478
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:26,738
Guys, the whole trip
is 16 motherfucking miles.
479
00:17:26,741 --> 00:17:28,921
Oh. I'm still gonna
need the milk jug.
480
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,087
ED: Sorry.
481
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:32,362
Ocupado.
482
00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:35,315
I cannot believe we've
never done a Hangover
road trip in my van.
483
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:36,485
Wait, which of us
is which?
484
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:37,840
Huh?
485
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:39,319
Like, Hangover.
Who's who?
486
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:40,889
I'm Bradley Cooper.
487
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:42,835
Forget it, inchworm.
You're no Bradley Cooper.
488
00:17:42,844 --> 00:17:44,024
Why not?
489
00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:45,539
Because Bradley Cooper
isn't shaped
490
00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:47,892
like he's got wet dog turds
in his pockets.
491
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:50,242
Okay, look.
Besides, I'm the one
in the tournament,
492
00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:51,853
which makes me
the ringleader,
493
00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:53,903
which makes me
the Bradley Cooper,
okay?
494
00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:55,938
Hey, was Bradley Cooper
even the ringleader
in Hangover?
495
00:17:55,944 --> 00:17:57,904
I think so. I mean,
he was the most handsome.
496
00:17:57,902 --> 00:17:59,342
Okay, then I'm
the dentist guy.
497
00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:01,249
No, you're definitely
the bearded fuckup guy.
498
00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:03,694
Oh, my God, you think
I look like Zach Galifianakis?
499
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:06,041
Hey, yo, who am I?Mike Tyson, duh.
500
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:07,391
Why, 'cause I'm black?
501
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:10,130
No, uh...
Because you like pigeons?
502
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,532
Oh, how 'bout
I come over there and chew
your fucking ear off?
503
00:18:12,526 --> 00:18:13,916
Guys, guys, come on.
Focus, focus.
504
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:15,698
We got 16 hard miles
ahead of us.
505
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:17,623
In.Let's go. Hustle up.
506
00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:20,138
♪ ♪
507
00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:25,837
Thanks for swinging me
an extra ticket, dude.
This is sick.
508
00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:27,243
Yeah, no problem.
509
00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:28,976
I've never even been
on a red carpet before.
510
00:18:28,977 --> 00:18:30,627
That was incredible.
511
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:32,021
That was incredible,
all right.
512
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:33,683
What?
513
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,767
I've never seen anyone
eat up applause like that,
514
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:37,676
and I've been
to a Morrissey concert.
515
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,941
What are you talking about?
It was perfectly dignified.
516
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,604
You bowed and curtsied.
517
00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:44,378
Yeah, well, I'm British.
It's called class, fuckface.
518
00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:46,474
Well, whatever you say,
Sir Roger.
519
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,127
What exactly are they
honoring you for?
520
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:52,518
Bravery.
521
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,090
What brave thing did you do
to get this award?
522
00:18:57,527 --> 00:18:59,437
Well, you know...
523
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:03,005
I mean, it's not just
one thing, is it?
524
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,445
Don't fucking
ruin this for me,
Loudermilk.
525
00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:11,925
Okay.
[MUMBLES]
526
00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:13,593
Sorry.
You're right.
527
00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:15,937
This is your big night,
and you should enjoy this.
528
00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:21,288
Be brave.Oh, shut up.
529
00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:23,680
[DOWNBEAT MUSIC]
530
00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:26,824
It was 16 miles. How the fuck
could you run out of gas?
531
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:28,337
Are you fucking kidding me?
532
00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:31,211
Hey, this van
has a 429 big block.
533
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:32,823
She's not made
for mileage.
534
00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:34,483
This bitch
is about horsepower.
535
00:19:34,477 --> 00:19:37,347
Horsepower? This bitch didn't
get over 40 miles per hour.
536
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:39,000
Because I'm trying
to conserve gas.
537
00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:40,663
Oh, so you knew
we were low on gas.
538
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:42,267
I told you that
at the beginning.
539
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:43,968
Oh, no, you didn't.
You never said that, never.
540
00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:45,485
Tony was the copilot.
541
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:47,008
You should've been watching
the gas gauges.
542
00:19:47,011 --> 00:19:48,801
What? I was instructed
to look out for cops,
543
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:50,446
not the fucking
gas gauge.
544
00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:51,890
Mugsy should've
been looking
at the gauges.
545
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:53,756
I don't look at the gauges.
I'm the pilot.
546
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:55,367
I'm watching for seagulls
to make sure
547
00:19:55,368 --> 00:19:56,848
they don't fly
into the engine!
548
00:19:56,847 --> 00:19:58,197
Oh, well, thank you,
Sully Sullenberger.
549
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,757
Not a Jew.What?
550
00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:01,503
Just saying,
Sullenberger
is not a Jew.
551
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:03,114
I never said
he was a Jew.
552
00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:04,814
And tell me something.
How is that not
a Jewish name?
553
00:20:04,812 --> 00:20:06,472
It's a Jewish name and his
name is probably Sullivan
554
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,076
and he changed it
to sound more exotic.
555
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:10,336
You know what?
Fuck you all, okay?
556
00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:11,909
Because of your stupidity,
557
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:14,386
I'm the one who doesn't get
to play in the tournament.
558
00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:16,037
You would've
probably lost anyway.
559
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,300
Okay, well,
then I would've
had fun losing.
560
00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:18,573
This isn't fun.
561
00:20:18,565 --> 00:20:19,905
It's your fault
I wasted a Friday night.
562
00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:21,704
I could've been home
watching Keith Morrison.
563
00:20:21,698 --> 00:20:22,788
Who's that?
564
00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:24,786
Keith Morrison
from Dateline.
565
00:20:24,788 --> 00:20:26,528
See, that's your problem.
It's Friday night,
you're at home
566
00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:28,139
watching a network
news show.
567
00:20:28,139 --> 00:20:29,709
Oh, it's a news magazine.What's the difference?
568
00:20:29,706 --> 00:20:31,396
It's a huge fucking
difference!
569
00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:32,584
There's no
fucking difference!Oh, it's huge!
570
00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:34,409
Everybody just stop it,
all right?
571
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:37,707
Everybody just stop
blaming each other, jeez!
572
00:20:37,714 --> 00:20:41,024
Yeah, Cloud's right.
It's nobody's fault.
573
00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:42,592
Except for Mugsy and Tony.
574
00:20:42,589 --> 00:20:44,329
You should've been watching
the goddamn gas gauge!
575
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,550
Oh, yeah?
Why weren't you
watching it?
576
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:47,808
Because I was
in the lavatory.
577
00:20:47,811 --> 00:20:48,901
Oh.Goddamn.
578
00:20:48,899 --> 00:20:50,899
Damn.Shit, man.
579
00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:53,561
Hey.Oh, hi.
580
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:54,856
How you feeling?
581
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,262
Okay, I guess.
582
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,555
Okay, well, just relax.
You're gonna do great.
583
00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:00,912
I'm gonna go introduce you.
584
00:21:00,911 --> 00:21:02,261
Okay.Good luck out there.
585
00:21:05,525 --> 00:21:07,045
Hey, I'm Dave.
586
00:21:07,048 --> 00:21:09,528
I just wanted to introduce
myself to a fellow Bravie.
587
00:21:09,529 --> 00:21:11,879
Nice to meet you.
588
00:21:11,879 --> 00:21:14,059
Out of curiosity,
what are you getting
your award for?
589
00:21:14,055 --> 00:21:16,575
Oh, nothing big.Me neither.
590
00:21:16,579 --> 00:21:20,499
Yeah, I just ran
into a burning school
and saved a bunch of kids.
591
00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:22,586
Well, who wouldn't have
done the same, right?
592
00:21:22,585 --> 00:21:26,285
[CHUCKLES]Oh, wow.
593
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,545
So you're a fireman.
594
00:21:27,547 --> 00:21:30,157
No.
595
00:21:30,158 --> 00:21:32,938
ARIELLE: And an opportunity
to shine a spotlight
on the best, the brightest,
596
00:21:32,943 --> 00:21:36,603
and the most heroic
citizens of Seattle.
597
00:21:36,599 --> 00:21:38,649
[APPLAUSE]
598
00:21:38,645 --> 00:21:42,295
And so it is my great honor,
my privilege,
599
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:46,351
to welcome a wonderful man,
an incomparable human being,
600
00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:49,608
an awesome drummer,
a true trailblazer...
601
00:21:49,612 --> 00:21:51,662
Laying it on
a little thick,
isn't she?
602
00:21:51,658 --> 00:21:53,618
She's just being courteous.
Don't be a dick.
603
00:21:53,616 --> 00:21:55,616
Esteemed guests,
please join with me
604
00:21:55,618 --> 00:21:59,138
in giving a warm welcome
to Roger Frostly.
605
00:21:59,143 --> 00:22:02,023
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
606
00:22:10,154 --> 00:22:11,594
Thank you.
607
00:22:11,591 --> 00:22:13,511
Thank you so much.
608
00:22:13,506 --> 00:22:16,066
But... But please, sit down.
I don't deserve this.
609
00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:17,953
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LOUDEN]
610
00:22:17,945 --> 00:22:20,465
Please. Sit...
611
00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:22,729
Down.
612
00:22:25,561 --> 00:22:27,261
[CHUCKLES]
613
00:22:27,258 --> 00:22:30,388
That wasn't a false modesty
trick for more applause.
614
00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:32,872
[LAUGHTER]Although nice to know
for the future that it works.
615
00:22:32,873 --> 00:22:34,663
[LAUGHTER]
616
00:22:34,657 --> 00:22:36,047
Seriously, though...
617
00:22:37,878 --> 00:22:40,878
I don't deserve
an award for bravery
618
00:22:40,881 --> 00:22:42,271
or anything, really.
619
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,150
Last night, I wrote
an acceptance speech,
620
00:22:46,147 --> 00:22:48,187
a rather self-serving one
621
00:22:48,192 --> 00:22:50,672
where I was only too happy
to keep the blinders on
622
00:22:50,673 --> 00:22:53,463
and lap up
more ego-stroking praise.
623
00:22:55,548 --> 00:22:58,728
And I do appreciate
the gesture behind this.
624
00:22:58,725 --> 00:23:00,375
It was well-meaning.
625
00:23:02,206 --> 00:23:04,466
But giving me an award
626
00:23:04,470 --> 00:23:08,170
just for being disabled is
627
00:23:08,169 --> 00:23:12,089
unfortunately designed
only to make you feel good...
628
00:23:12,086 --> 00:23:14,346
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
629
00:23:14,349 --> 00:23:17,309
While it makes me feel
pretty lousy.
630
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:23,400
Because it tells me how low
your expectations are for me.
631
00:23:24,533 --> 00:23:26,713
Like I should get an award
632
00:23:26,709 --> 00:23:29,059
for brushing my teeth
or something with these arms.
633
00:23:29,059 --> 00:23:32,369
Well, something I used to do
about a dozen times a day
634
00:23:32,367 --> 00:23:34,277
to keep the smell
of booze off my breath.
635
00:23:34,282 --> 00:23:35,812
[LAUGHTER]
636
00:23:35,805 --> 00:23:38,285
No, not a joke.
637
00:23:39,722 --> 00:23:41,512
I'm an alcoholic.
638
00:23:41,507 --> 00:23:44,767
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
639
00:23:44,771 --> 00:23:46,951
I've been sober
for a little while now.
640
00:23:49,166 --> 00:23:51,996
But I spent a large part
of my life escaping with booze
641
00:23:51,995 --> 00:23:53,775
and a whole lot more.
642
00:23:53,780 --> 00:23:58,180
And there's nothing heroic
about that.
643
00:23:58,175 --> 00:23:59,605
But tonight?
644
00:24:01,265 --> 00:24:04,005
This is just inspiration porn.
645
00:24:04,007 --> 00:24:06,007
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
646
00:24:07,968 --> 00:24:12,278
Stella Young,
an Australian activist,
coined that phrase.
647
00:24:12,276 --> 00:24:13,756
Yeah, porn.
648
00:24:15,192 --> 00:24:17,372
Because it's all about
objectifying
649
00:24:17,368 --> 00:24:20,018
people like me and her so that
you can say to each other,
650
00:24:20,023 --> 00:24:22,943
"Oh, my life might suck,
but it could be worse.
651
00:24:22,939 --> 00:24:25,029
"Just look at the bloke
with short arms."
652
00:24:26,900 --> 00:24:28,730
But I'm just as much
to blame as you.
653
00:24:30,860 --> 00:24:32,560
So I feel uncomfortable too.
654
00:24:34,951 --> 00:24:38,781
I fooled myself into believing
that I deserved this award
for my music.
655
00:24:40,827 --> 00:24:44,267
And the truth is,
I'm a good drummer.
656
00:24:44,265 --> 00:24:45,785
But I'm not a great one.
657
00:24:49,749 --> 00:24:52,099
So I'm sorry.
658
00:24:52,099 --> 00:24:54,619
But I can't accept
your Bravie award.
659
00:24:54,623 --> 00:24:56,323
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
660
00:24:58,409 --> 00:25:00,149
I know one thing, though.
661
00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:03,680
The next guy coming onstage
definitely deserves it.
662
00:25:03,676 --> 00:25:04,886
Dave.
663
00:25:04,894 --> 00:25:07,334
[AUDIENCE WHISPERING]
664
00:25:07,331 --> 00:25:09,421
[APPLAUSE]
665
00:25:14,208 --> 00:25:17,388
Thank you so much, Roger.
666
00:25:17,385 --> 00:25:18,515
Wow.
667
00:25:19,866 --> 00:25:22,086
How's that for
raw honesty, huh?
668
00:25:22,085 --> 00:25:23,255
Amazing.
669
00:25:23,260 --> 00:25:25,390
[APPLAUSE]
670
00:25:32,008 --> 00:25:33,438
So...
671
00:25:34,837 --> 00:25:36,837
It's inspired me
to be honest too.
672
00:25:40,669 --> 00:25:43,499
I didn't really
save those kids
from the burning school.
673
00:25:43,498 --> 00:25:45,368
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
674
00:25:45,369 --> 00:25:47,279
I guess I did, but...
675
00:25:49,678 --> 00:25:51,508
I also set the fire.
676
00:25:51,506 --> 00:25:53,156
[AUDIENCE GASPS]
677
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,290
I know. It's bad.
678
00:25:57,991 --> 00:26:00,341
But I did it to be a hero.
679
00:26:00,341 --> 00:26:02,391
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
680
00:26:02,386 --> 00:26:06,256
I guess that should take away
some of the points.
681
00:26:06,260 --> 00:26:07,960
Fuck!
682
00:26:07,957 --> 00:26:10,087
I should've accepted
that award.
683
00:26:10,090 --> 00:26:13,090
[LAID-BACK ROCK MUSIC]
684
00:26:13,093 --> 00:26:16,923
♪ ♪
685
00:26:16,923 --> 00:26:17,923
Hey.
686
00:26:20,448 --> 00:26:22,888
[SIGHS]
There you are.
687
00:26:22,885 --> 00:26:24,365
Hey.
688
00:26:24,365 --> 00:26:25,755
Where's Loudermilk?
689
00:26:25,758 --> 00:26:29,368
Downstairs talking music
with Arielle Phelps.
690
00:26:29,370 --> 00:26:30,720
Mm.
691
00:26:32,286 --> 00:26:33,936
You know,
692
00:26:33,940 --> 00:26:37,640
I'm sorry if I came across
as patronizing when I drew you
693
00:26:37,639 --> 00:26:38,949
and gave you wings.
694
00:26:40,076 --> 00:26:41,636
You did.I know.
695
00:26:43,471 --> 00:26:45,261
Just trying to apologize here.
696
00:26:47,823 --> 00:26:49,653
Oh, fuck it.
697
00:26:49,651 --> 00:26:52,571
You're just a kid.
You didn't know any better.
698
00:26:52,567 --> 00:26:54,437
Now who's
being patronizing?
699
00:26:57,137 --> 00:26:58,967
You know,
your speech was great.
700
00:26:58,965 --> 00:27:00,965
But some of it was bullshit.
701
00:27:02,098 --> 00:27:03,798
What are you talking about?
702
00:27:03,796 --> 00:27:06,706
I get it. No one should
objectify anyone
703
00:27:06,712 --> 00:27:08,932
or give a disabled person
an award
704
00:27:08,931 --> 00:27:10,891
just for making a sandwich.
705
00:27:10,890 --> 00:27:13,630
But what's wrong
with acknowledging someone
706
00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:16,332
who has to overcome
a bit more adversity
every day?
707
00:27:18,114 --> 00:27:20,554
Well, yeah.
708
00:27:20,551 --> 00:27:23,161
But acknowledgement
isn't about getting awards.
709
00:27:24,468 --> 00:27:25,818
It's about acceptance.
710
00:27:28,429 --> 00:27:31,169
And maybe a little help
sometimes.
711
00:27:31,171 --> 00:27:32,611
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
712
00:27:32,607 --> 00:27:34,437
Ah, what the hell?
713
00:27:34,435 --> 00:27:36,215
I did invent
the trombone stick.
714
00:27:36,219 --> 00:27:38,269
I should definitely
get a Grammy for that, right?
715
00:27:38,265 --> 00:27:39,745
[IMITATES TROMBONE]
716
00:27:39,745 --> 00:27:41,005
[LAUGHS]
717
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:44,400
Hug?
718
00:27:49,058 --> 00:27:51,838
[ALLAH-LAHS' HIGH & DRYPLAYS]
719
00:27:51,844 --> 00:27:55,724
♪ Standing right
in front of me
720
00:27:57,719 --> 00:28:01,419
♪ What do you see
721
00:28:01,418 --> 00:28:05,638
♪ Bark right off
the family tree
722
00:28:07,424 --> 00:28:11,084
♪ And pedigree
723
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:15,390
♪ Living foggy clarity
724
00:28:17,434 --> 00:28:21,224
♪ Naturally
725
00:28:21,221 --> 00:28:25,701
♪ Give me
what you've taken back
726
00:28:27,053 --> 00:28:29,663
♪ I'll never leave
727
00:28:32,232 --> 00:28:34,712
♪ High and dry
728
00:28:37,150 --> 00:28:39,850
♪ What'd I find
729
00:28:42,416 --> 00:28:45,546
♪ You might love me... ♪