1
00:00:03,198 --> 00:00:05,026
I don't have time today.
2
00:00:05,026 --> 00:00:08,246
All I do is mop floors
so I can support these
two bald assholes.
3
00:00:08,246 --> 00:00:10,509
Oh, I'm the problem.
4
00:00:10,509 --> 00:00:12,990
I understand you're
finally considering
adoption for Clyde.
5
00:00:12,990 --> 00:00:15,819
I know several
excellent families
6
00:00:15,819 --> 00:00:17,038
who are actively looking.
7
00:00:17,995 --> 00:00:20,041
Uh-uh.
8
00:00:20,041 --> 00:00:22,521
Well, you know how
I've been trying to
connect with my kids.
9
00:00:22,521 --> 00:00:25,133
Two of them
haven't called me
in a couple of weeks.
10
00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:27,831
Did you call them back?That's not my place.
11
00:00:27,831 --> 00:00:29,485
It's exactly your place.
12
00:00:29,485 --> 00:00:31,139
I'm supposed to
call them when
they don't call me back?
13
00:00:31,139 --> 00:00:32,531
CLAIRE: Yeah, you are.Yes.
14
00:00:32,531 --> 00:00:33,837
You call and you call
and you call
15
00:00:33,837 --> 00:00:35,273
and you keep calling,
16
00:00:35,273 --> 00:00:37,536
and if they don't call you
back, that's on them.
17
00:00:43,716 --> 00:00:47,329
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
18
00:00:47,329 --> 00:00:50,506
Does anybody know
any good coffee shops?
19
00:00:50,506 --> 00:00:53,509
Let's see.
Coffee in Seattle.
20
00:00:53,509 --> 00:00:55,163
Nope.
[CHUCKLES]
21
00:00:55,163 --> 00:00:56,642
[MOCKS LAUGHING]
22
00:00:56,642 --> 00:00:58,644
Listen, I know
they're everywhere,
23
00:00:58,644 --> 00:01:00,820
but I'm having coffee
with my daughter Cappy
24
00:01:00,820 --> 00:01:02,518
and I'm looking
for the perfect place.
25
00:01:02,518 --> 00:01:03,736
You mean Latte?
26
00:01:03,736 --> 00:01:05,347
Cappy.
27
00:01:05,347 --> 00:01:07,262
Cappy is Latte's
older sister.
28
00:01:07,262 --> 00:01:09,568
Oh, please tell me Cappy
is short for Cappuccino.
29
00:01:11,309 --> 00:01:12,963
Fuck you.
30
00:01:12,963 --> 00:01:14,834
McDonald's
has good coffee.
31
00:01:14,834 --> 00:01:17,707
Don't take her to McDonald's.
How about Sounds and Grounds?
32
00:01:17,707 --> 00:01:19,665
No, no, no.
There's too much
music there.
33
00:01:19,665 --> 00:01:21,450
I... I don't need
Jackson Browne
34
00:01:21,450 --> 00:01:23,539
singing about a horse
with no name
35
00:01:23,539 --> 00:01:25,367
while I'm trying
to talk to my daughter.
36
00:01:25,367 --> 00:01:27,804
What?
I don't think that was
Jackson Browne.
37
00:01:27,804 --> 00:01:29,501
Whatever. I also
don't want people
38
00:01:29,501 --> 00:01:32,548
being loud in the corner
doing their poetry.
39
00:01:32,548 --> 00:01:36,073
Oh, how far away
is love's first kiss?
40
00:01:36,073 --> 00:01:37,509
Yeats?
41
00:01:37,509 --> 00:01:41,165
Said the large-jugged
cheerleader from Ole Miss.
42
00:01:41,165 --> 00:01:42,862
Not Yeats.MUGSY: Anyway.
43
00:01:42,862 --> 00:01:45,648
[STUTTERS] All I'm saying is
I don't want a coffee place
44
00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:48,738
where everybody's
on their cell phones
and their computers
45
00:01:48,738 --> 00:01:52,394
sending and receiving
their facsimiles.
46
00:01:52,394 --> 00:01:53,656
Uh, facsimiles?
47
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,484
Are you taking
her back in time?
48
00:01:55,484 --> 00:01:57,225
Look, it sounds
like you don't
need a coffee shop.
49
00:01:57,225 --> 00:01:58,922
Maybe you can take her
to a park bench
50
00:01:58,922 --> 00:02:00,228
and bring some coffee
with you.
51
00:02:00,228 --> 00:02:01,577
From McDonald's.
52
00:02:01,577 --> 00:02:03,492
Cloud, what do you have?
Stock in McDonald's?
53
00:02:03,492 --> 00:02:05,494
It's really good coffee.
54
00:02:05,494 --> 00:02:08,366
Why don't you just
take her for lunch
at a nice restaurant?
55
00:02:08,366 --> 00:02:12,109
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Too much pressure.
56
00:02:12,109 --> 00:02:14,938
Trying to think
about stuff to talk about
for an entire meal
57
00:02:14,938 --> 00:02:17,158
No, coffee shop.
58
00:02:17,158 --> 00:02:18,811
You have a couple of sips,
59
00:02:18,811 --> 00:02:21,162
and if you're not feeling it,
you cut bait.
60
00:02:21,162 --> 00:02:24,295
She's not a Tinder date.
She's your daughter.
61
00:02:24,295 --> 00:02:26,558
That's the saddest thing
I've ever heard.
62
00:02:26,558 --> 00:02:29,518
Really? Sadder than a guy
who walks out on his family
63
00:02:29,518 --> 00:02:31,389
and spends a decade
at the bottom of a bottle
64
00:02:31,389 --> 00:02:33,130
who's now being judged
by a former meth head?
65
00:02:33,130 --> 00:02:35,263
Who doesn't like
McDonald's coffee.
66
00:02:35,263 --> 00:02:36,655
[SCOFFS]
67
00:02:36,655 --> 00:02:38,222
Uh, full disclosure,
68
00:02:38,222 --> 00:02:40,920
I do have a little Mickey D's
in my portfolio.
69
00:02:42,748 --> 00:02:45,316
[FRANZ FERDINAND'S
STAND ON THE HORIZONPLAYS]
70
00:02:45,316 --> 00:02:47,666
♪ ♪
71
00:02:52,541 --> 00:02:55,805
I hate this fucking game.
What am I doing here?
72
00:02:55,805 --> 00:02:57,676
You said you'd play
if I got to
five months sober
73
00:02:57,676 --> 00:02:59,461
twice in the
same year.
74
00:02:59,461 --> 00:03:01,376
Okay, can we just
get it over with?
75
00:03:01,376 --> 00:03:04,596
You know, I never
really understood
the appeal of golf.
76
00:03:04,596 --> 00:03:06,381
Especially without alcohol.
77
00:03:06,381 --> 00:03:09,514
But, uh, today
I... I kind of get it.
78
00:03:09,514 --> 00:03:11,690
Yeah, having some laughs
with friends, right?
79
00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:13,301
Yeah, you're out
amongst nature.
80
00:03:13,301 --> 00:03:16,608
You got exercise,
fresh air.
81
00:03:16,608 --> 00:03:19,220
All right, skins game.
Buck a hole with carryovers.
82
00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:20,960
All right.No idea what
that means,
83
00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,354
but a buck a hole,
no one's getting hurt.
I'm in.
84
00:03:23,354 --> 00:03:24,703
Yeah, and if you get
a hole in one,
85
00:03:24,703 --> 00:03:26,139
you've got to give
everyone a blowjob,
86
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,098
and if it's close,
we can give it to you.
87
00:03:28,098 --> 00:03:29,360
Uh-oh.
88
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,622
Wait, wait, wait.
89
00:03:30,622 --> 00:03:32,755
How... How close is,
uh, is close?
90
00:03:33,625 --> 00:03:35,366
Ed, he's joking.
91
00:03:35,366 --> 00:03:36,759
Oh, yeah.
Right, right.
92
00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:38,978
'Cause it would have
to be in the hole, right?
93
00:03:42,852 --> 00:03:44,897
Ooh.Whoa.
94
00:03:44,897 --> 00:03:48,249
Tony, follow that.
95
00:03:48,249 --> 00:03:49,946
You're up, Loudermilk.
96
00:03:51,513 --> 00:03:54,472
[SIGHS]
97
00:03:58,694 --> 00:04:00,696
[FLATULENCE]
98
00:04:00,696 --> 00:04:02,350
Okay, ha-ha-ha-ha.
99
00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:04,656
Very funny.
Obviously I get that back.
100
00:04:04,656 --> 00:04:06,441
That's a mulligan,
I believe it's called.
101
00:04:06,441 --> 00:04:09,182
Hey, hey, there's no
mulligans in golf.
102
00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:12,229
This is a gentlemen's game.
You play by the rules.
103
00:04:12,229 --> 00:04:14,057
I'm not hip
to all the rules,
104
00:04:14,057 --> 00:04:16,320
but farting during another
player's backswing?
105
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,409
That can't be considered
gentlemanly.
106
00:04:18,409 --> 00:04:21,804
USGA rules on etiquette,
section two,
Behavior on the Course,
107
00:04:21,804 --> 00:04:24,241
clearly states a player
should not disturb another
108
00:04:24,241 --> 00:04:26,591
by talking, moving,
or making unnecessary noise.
109
00:04:26,591 --> 00:04:27,940
Exactly.
I go again.
110
00:04:27,940 --> 00:04:29,594
Unnecessary noise.
111
00:04:29,594 --> 00:04:31,379
Unnecessary.
112
00:04:31,379 --> 00:04:32,945
Mugsy, was that
fart necessary?
113
00:04:32,945 --> 00:04:35,339
Absolutely.
114
00:04:35,339 --> 00:04:38,995
Yeah, I had one of those
cauliflower whole roasted
brain things last night,
115
00:04:38,995 --> 00:04:40,736
loaded with garlic.
116
00:04:40,736 --> 00:04:42,912
Plus I'm getting together
with my daughter,
117
00:04:42,912 --> 00:04:46,655
and it's making my stomach
feel kind of funky.
118
00:04:46,655 --> 00:04:48,309
So necessary?
119
00:04:48,309 --> 00:04:51,137
A noise deemed necessary.
Thus, ipso facto.
120
00:04:51,137 --> 00:04:53,096
Therefore, and ergo,
the drive stands.
121
00:04:53,096 --> 00:04:54,924
You're hitting three.
Now keep your head down.
122
00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:01,931
[MELLOW MUSIC]
123
00:05:01,931 --> 00:05:04,020
♪ ♪
124
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:05,326
Whoa!
125
00:05:07,632 --> 00:05:09,634
[YELLS]
126
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:12,376
What the hell?
You nearly killed us!
127
00:05:12,376 --> 00:05:14,726
Oh, relax, sweetheart.
It barely touched ya.
128
00:05:14,726 --> 00:05:17,512
He hit me on the ankle, and
don't you call me sweetheart.
129
00:05:17,512 --> 00:05:19,122
You're unbelievable.
130
00:05:19,122 --> 00:05:21,254
Okay, everybody.
Come on.
131
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:24,388
Let's... Let's relax.
It's not a big deal.
Let's all calm down.
132
00:05:24,388 --> 00:05:27,130
Ma'am, I'm sorry
that my ball
133
00:05:27,130 --> 00:05:30,742
accidentally brushed up
against your foot, okay?
134
00:05:30,742 --> 00:05:33,179
I'm new to the game.
I'm not a great golfer.
135
00:05:33,179 --> 00:05:34,920
You're supposed
to yell "fore."
136
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,183
Even
when it's rolling?
137
00:05:37,183 --> 00:05:39,098
Yes, and you shouldn't be
on the course
138
00:05:39,098 --> 00:05:40,883
if you don't understand
golf etiquette.
139
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:43,015
You people shouldn't
be trusted with clubs.
140
00:05:43,015 --> 00:05:45,801
Well, I admit, I...
I don't know
the game's vagaries,
141
00:05:45,801 --> 00:05:47,977
but since you do,
maybe you can help me
out with this one...
142
00:05:47,977 --> 00:05:51,372
What's the rule on farting
during another player's
backswing?
143
00:05:51,372 --> 00:05:52,590
That's a mulligan,
right?
144
00:05:52,590 --> 00:05:54,723
Necessary fart.
145
00:05:54,723 --> 00:05:56,681
Your ball hit my wife,
146
00:05:56,681 --> 00:05:59,118
and I demand
that you apologize
to her immediately.
147
00:05:59,118 --> 00:06:00,511
Or what,
you're gonna slap me
with a glove
148
00:06:00,511 --> 00:06:02,644
and challenge me
to a duel?
149
00:06:02,644 --> 00:06:05,603
I just said I'm sorry,
that's the pulp of an apology.
150
00:06:05,603 --> 00:06:07,388
But I'll say it again.
I'm sorry.
151
00:06:07,388 --> 00:06:09,433
I'm sorry you took
a vicious dribbler
to the foot,
152
00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:12,044
and I hope everything
works out with the fire.
153
00:06:12,044 --> 00:06:13,916
[SCOFFS]What fire?
154
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,266
Well, obviously,
your house
was burning down
155
00:06:16,266 --> 00:06:17,746
and you just threw on
anything you could
156
00:06:17,746 --> 00:06:20,444
as you ran out
the door, right?
157
00:06:20,444 --> 00:06:22,011
You're an asshole.
158
00:06:22,011 --> 00:06:23,795
Wait, you can't call him
an asshole.
159
00:06:23,795 --> 00:06:25,754
I demandeth
an apology.
160
00:06:25,754 --> 00:06:28,147
[MUGSY CHUCKLES]
161
00:06:28,147 --> 00:06:30,236
I'm not really
Willie Nelson.
162
00:06:30,236 --> 00:06:32,848
[LAUGHTER]
163
00:06:33,892 --> 00:06:35,372
All right, look out.
164
00:06:37,983 --> 00:06:40,203
[CHEERS]There you go.
165
00:06:41,204 --> 00:06:43,293
Oh, what is this shit?
166
00:06:43,293 --> 00:06:46,557
Oh, dear.
This is not good.
167
00:06:46,557 --> 00:06:49,299
That's them, officers.
The ones that assaulted us.
168
00:06:49,299 --> 00:06:51,388
What?
Assaulted you?
169
00:06:51,388 --> 00:06:54,913
Yeah, assaulted us.That's ridiculous.
170
00:06:54,913 --> 00:06:56,524
These ladies said you hit
them with a golf ball,
171
00:06:56,524 --> 00:06:58,264
verbally harassed them...Yeah.
172
00:06:58,264 --> 00:06:59,570
And then made
homophobic comments
173
00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:01,050
about their husbands'
clothing.
174
00:07:01,050 --> 00:07:03,922
I made homophobic...
She's projecting that.
175
00:07:03,922 --> 00:07:07,796
And what... What gay man
would actually wear that?
176
00:07:07,796 --> 00:07:10,363
Hey, you gals
need to relax.Gals?
177
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:12,453
Don't call us gals,
you sexist jerk.
178
00:07:12,453 --> 00:07:14,193
Uh, okay,
so now gals is sexist?
179
00:07:14,193 --> 00:07:15,586
Do you believe
these broads?
180
00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:17,893
Hey tough guy,
control your wife.
181
00:07:17,893 --> 00:07:20,069
Oh, what the fuck?
Ow.
182
00:07:20,069 --> 00:07:22,245
That's it.
You're all under arrest.
183
00:07:22,245 --> 00:07:24,290
You can't arrest us.
You... You're golf cops.
184
00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:27,642
Actually, this is, uh,
Seattle PD.
185
00:07:27,642 --> 00:07:29,644
Hey, Leanne,
it's been awhile.
186
00:07:29,644 --> 00:07:31,733
Edward,
you know the drill.
187
00:07:31,733 --> 00:07:34,605
You... You really wanna file
the paperwork on this mess?
188
00:07:35,258 --> 00:07:36,607
No.
189
00:07:36,607 --> 00:07:38,783
Too late.
Cuff 'em all.
190
00:07:38,783 --> 00:07:40,263
Let a judge
work it out.
191
00:07:40,263 --> 00:07:41,786
Thank God.
192
00:07:41,786 --> 00:07:43,571
Does this mean
we're done golfing?
193
00:07:44,615 --> 00:07:46,269
♪ Such a foolish
194
00:07:46,269 --> 00:07:48,576
♪ Way to be ♪
195
00:07:48,576 --> 00:07:50,447
[SIGHS]
196
00:07:50,447 --> 00:07:52,362
♪ ♪
197
00:07:53,668 --> 00:07:55,931
Hey, I am so sorry
I'm late.
198
00:07:55,931 --> 00:07:58,237
You are not gonna believe
what happened.
199
00:07:58,237 --> 00:07:59,804
Let me guess.
200
00:07:59,804 --> 00:08:02,067
You got arrested
for doing something stupid.
201
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,416
♪ ♪
202
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,680
No.
No, it was like...
203
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,638
It's a long story,
don't worry about it.
204
00:08:07,638 --> 00:08:11,207
Listen, I am so happy
that you wanted to
get together today.
205
00:08:11,207 --> 00:08:13,383
I've really been looking
forward to this.
206
00:08:13,383 --> 00:08:16,038
Yeah. Me too.Yeah.
207
00:08:18,127 --> 00:08:19,389
Yeah.
208
00:08:20,999 --> 00:08:22,348
Um...
209
00:08:23,524 --> 00:08:25,526
So what's new with you?
210
00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:30,226
Well, I finally
graduated last month.
211
00:08:31,619 --> 00:08:33,969
I thought you graduated
a few years ago.
212
00:08:33,969 --> 00:08:37,407
That was high school.
This is college.
213
00:08:37,407 --> 00:08:40,453
You went to college?
Uh, yeah, I remember that.
214
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,760
I mean, everything
is happening so fast,
you know?
215
00:08:44,022 --> 00:08:46,982
So what did you study?IT.
216
00:08:48,592 --> 00:08:49,985
Information technology.
217
00:08:51,421 --> 00:08:52,988
Yes, IT.
218
00:08:52,988 --> 00:08:54,467
Yes.
219
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,078
Just computer stuff, Dad.
220
00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:57,427
Wow.
221
00:08:57,427 --> 00:08:59,124
I am so proud of you.
222
00:08:59,124 --> 00:09:02,127
You're working
with computers.
223
00:09:02,127 --> 00:09:04,913
Hey, maybe that Steve Gates
will hire you.
224
00:09:04,913 --> 00:09:06,741
Well, I hope
someone does.
225
00:09:06,741 --> 00:09:08,960
I've gotten by resume out
to a few companies,
226
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,049
and I've got
some interviews lined up.
227
00:09:11,049 --> 00:09:14,139
Hey, why don't I buy you
a dress for your interviews?
228
00:09:14,139 --> 00:09:17,229
Or a suit.Or a suit.
229
00:09:17,229 --> 00:09:19,188
Yeah, pantsuit.
230
00:09:19,188 --> 00:09:22,931
Nothing says
smart business lady
like a nice pantsuit.
231
00:09:24,236 --> 00:09:26,238
Sure, Dad.
I'd love that.
232
00:09:28,023 --> 00:09:30,416
Hey, I'm going pantsuit
shopping with my daughter.
233
00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:31,940
How about that?
234
00:09:32,941 --> 00:09:35,857
[SOFT MUSIC]
235
00:09:35,857 --> 00:09:38,207
Huh, let me see
if I got this right.
236
00:09:38,207 --> 00:09:40,557
Ladies, you're being
charged with assault,
237
00:09:40,557 --> 00:09:43,952
and gentlemen, you're being
cited with disorderly conduct.
238
00:09:43,952 --> 00:09:46,389
Your Honor, I'd request
that you consider dropping
239
00:09:46,389 --> 00:09:47,999
the assault charges
against my clients
240
00:09:47,999 --> 00:09:50,045
and look at
the real issue here.
241
00:09:50,045 --> 00:09:53,918
The fact that these men
were harassing these ladies
on the golf course.
242
00:09:53,918 --> 00:09:56,617
My clients were just enjoying
an afternoon on the links
243
00:09:56,617 --> 00:09:58,880
when these women,
for no reason,
244
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,446
physically attacked them.
245
00:10:00,446 --> 00:10:03,536
They were provoked by the
men's lack of golf decorum
246
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,974
which was compounded
by their rude behavior.
247
00:10:05,974 --> 00:10:08,063
Oh, so you're saying that
the appropriate response
248
00:10:08,063 --> 00:10:10,456
to poor golf etiquette
and rude behavior
249
00:10:10,456 --> 00:10:13,416
is to go all Mrs. Tiger Woods
with a nine iron
250
00:10:13,416 --> 00:10:15,113
on my client's face?
251
00:10:15,113 --> 00:10:16,506
Seven iron.
252
00:10:16,506 --> 00:10:18,987
Don't interrupt me.We're under oath.
253
00:10:18,987 --> 00:10:21,946
Hitting a man
with a golf club is assault!
254
00:10:21,946 --> 00:10:24,035
These women should
be locked up.
255
00:10:24,035 --> 00:10:26,864
And for that matter,
so should Mrs. Tiger Woods.
256
00:10:26,864 --> 00:10:28,474
How's she still on the street?
257
00:10:28,474 --> 00:10:30,868
I'll tell you how...
She's hot!
258
00:10:30,868 --> 00:10:32,696
And with all due respect,
Your Honor,
259
00:10:32,696 --> 00:10:35,568
these women register a little
lower on the thermometer.
260
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:36,918
Are you implying...
261
00:10:36,918 --> 00:10:39,398
Your Honor,
justice is not blind.
262
00:10:39,398 --> 00:10:43,707
They're fours at best,
and therefore I contend,
263
00:10:43,707 --> 00:10:46,710
if they're not hot,
in jail they must rot.
264
00:10:46,710 --> 00:10:48,059
Objection.
Irrelevant.
265
00:10:48,059 --> 00:10:49,931
My clients' looks
are not on trial.
266
00:10:49,931 --> 00:10:52,760
If we're fours, your clients
are negative fours.
267
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:53,935
Except for one of them.
268
00:10:54,762 --> 00:10:56,633
[MOUTHING WORDS]
269
00:10:56,633 --> 00:10:59,810
Objection sustained,
and don't rhyme in my court!
270
00:10:59,810 --> 00:11:02,726
Well, okay, but that's gonna
seriously impact my summation.
271
00:11:04,772 --> 00:11:07,992
Ladies, did you hit one
of these men with a golf club?
272
00:11:09,646 --> 00:11:13,258
Yes, I did, Your Honor,
but it was in self-defense.
273
00:11:13,258 --> 00:11:16,044
Was he attacking you?Verbally.
274
00:11:16,044 --> 00:11:18,263
Well, did anyone
threaten you?
275
00:11:18,263 --> 00:11:21,005
They hit a golf ball at me
and didn't yell "fore."
276
00:11:21,005 --> 00:11:22,615
I consider that a threat.
277
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:25,053
Well, did anybody verbally
threaten to harm you?
278
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:29,274
Not verbally in words.
279
00:11:29,274 --> 00:11:31,668
Well, you can't just swing
a golf club at someone.
280
00:11:31,668 --> 00:11:33,888
That's assault.
281
00:11:33,888 --> 00:11:36,455
Ma'am, I'm thinking it
would be beneficial for you
282
00:11:36,455 --> 00:11:38,153
to take an anger
management class
283
00:11:38,153 --> 00:11:41,243
before stepping back
onto a golf course.
284
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,810
There you go.
Case closed.
285
00:11:42,810 --> 00:11:44,376
No, it isn't.
286
00:11:44,376 --> 00:11:46,161
What about his pain
and suffering?
287
00:11:46,161 --> 00:11:48,380
New Guy, let...
Let's just get
out of here.
288
00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:51,949
I am not going anywhere
until justice is served!
289
00:11:51,949 --> 00:11:54,386
The charges against your
clients will be dropped.
290
00:11:54,386 --> 00:11:56,737
Does that alleviate
their pain and suffering?
291
00:11:56,737 --> 00:11:58,129
Hell no!
292
00:11:58,129 --> 00:12:00,784
This man has been
emotionally scarred.
293
00:12:00,784 --> 00:12:03,352
His wife offered him
a club sandwich yesterday
294
00:12:03,352 --> 00:12:05,702
and he burst into tears.
295
00:12:05,702 --> 00:12:09,184
And this man,
who almost killed his ex-wife
in a drunk driving accident,
296
00:12:09,184 --> 00:12:11,577
may never get
to play the game
of golf again.
297
00:12:11,577 --> 00:12:13,536
I'm fine with that.
298
00:12:13,536 --> 00:12:17,366
And these gentlemen,
both raging alcoholics,
299
00:12:17,366 --> 00:12:19,934
can't even order
an Arnold Palmer,
300
00:12:19,934 --> 00:12:22,850
the most popular
nonalcoholic drink.
301
00:12:22,850 --> 00:12:25,026
And all because we ran
into these pushy broads.
302
00:12:26,723 --> 00:12:29,726
Um, I'm... I'm sorry.
What did you call them?
303
00:12:29,726 --> 00:12:31,510
Am I still under oath?Yes, you are.
304
00:12:32,729 --> 00:12:35,166
Um, pushy broads?Objection.
305
00:12:35,166 --> 00:12:37,603
Your Honor, I ask that
my client's testimony
306
00:12:37,603 --> 00:12:39,214
be stricken from the record
307
00:12:39,214 --> 00:12:40,998
because he was hit in the head
with a seven iron,
308
00:12:40,998 --> 00:12:42,870
and thus is speaking
like an asshole.
309
00:12:42,870 --> 00:12:44,959
Overruled,
and watch your mouth,
Counsel.
310
00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:47,962
[SIGHS]
311
00:12:47,962 --> 00:12:51,748
Well, clearly these men
have no respect for women.
312
00:12:51,748 --> 00:12:53,837
So I'm ordering Tony
and his three friends
313
00:12:53,837 --> 00:12:56,579
to take a women's sensitivity
counseling seminar.
314
00:12:56,579 --> 00:12:59,538
W... Women's
sensitivity?
315
00:12:59,538 --> 00:13:02,150
Can't we just
go back to jail?
316
00:13:02,150 --> 00:13:06,197
Be careful what you wish for.
I can be a pushy broad too.
317
00:13:06,894 --> 00:13:08,504
[RAPS GAVEL]
318
00:13:08,504 --> 00:13:11,246
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
319
00:13:11,246 --> 00:13:12,943
So how was
your job interview?
320
00:13:12,943 --> 00:13:14,902
Did they like the pantsuit?
321
00:13:14,902 --> 00:13:18,383
It went really well, Dad,
and the pantsuit was a hit.
322
00:13:18,383 --> 00:13:20,995
I felt very confident.
323
00:13:20,995 --> 00:13:23,998
So did they offer you
the job?
324
00:13:23,998 --> 00:13:26,391
Not yet.
I have a second interview
325
00:13:26,391 --> 00:13:28,002
with the vice president
tomorrow.
326
00:13:28,002 --> 00:13:29,394
No shit?
327
00:13:29,394 --> 00:13:31,701
The vice president
of the whole government?
328
00:13:31,701 --> 00:13:33,311
No, no, no.
Of the company.
329
00:13:33,311 --> 00:13:34,791
The VP of the company.
330
00:13:34,791 --> 00:13:36,445
Oh, okay.
Well, that's good.
331
00:13:36,445 --> 00:13:38,882
And then you'll work your
way up to the other guy.
332
00:13:38,882 --> 00:13:41,276
I just can't imagine
some company not wanting you
333
00:13:41,276 --> 00:13:42,886
to run their it department.
334
00:13:44,235 --> 00:13:46,629
Um, hey,
are you free Saturday?
335
00:13:46,629 --> 00:13:49,327
Latte and I, we're gonna go
check out this flea market.
336
00:13:49,327 --> 00:13:51,329
Do you wanna
come with us?
337
00:13:51,329 --> 00:13:53,331
Yeah!
338
00:13:53,331 --> 00:13:54,811
Yes, I...
339
00:13:56,726 --> 00:14:00,338
Oh, ah...
I can't.
340
00:14:00,338 --> 00:14:02,645
I have a class I have
to take this weekend.
341
00:14:02,645 --> 00:14:04,038
A class?
342
00:14:04,038 --> 00:14:05,343
That... That's great.
343
00:14:05,343 --> 00:14:06,910
What kind of class
are you taking?
344
00:14:07,650 --> 00:14:08,956
Math.
345
00:14:08,956 --> 00:14:11,088
M... Math?
346
00:14:11,088 --> 00:14:13,047
Math is in everything.
347
00:14:13,047 --> 00:14:17,181
It's in sports scores,
pumping gas, how many gallons.
348
00:14:17,181 --> 00:14:18,835
It's in banking now.
349
00:14:18,835 --> 00:14:20,881
Math...
It's in everything.
350
00:14:20,881 --> 00:14:24,101
I've got a half-caf
double espresso for Judie!
351
00:14:24,101 --> 00:14:26,234
Half, double.
That's math.
352
00:14:28,627 --> 00:14:29,933
And we have to keep up
with the times.
353
00:14:29,933 --> 00:14:31,413
We have to shift
and grow and...
354
00:14:32,196 --> 00:14:33,589
Hi, you're late.
355
00:14:33,589 --> 00:14:35,373
Uh, sorry.
356
00:14:35,373 --> 00:14:36,679
I was having problems
with the car
357
00:14:36,679 --> 00:14:39,551
when we were driving
over here in my van.
358
00:14:39,551 --> 00:14:41,118
Don't let it happen again
359
00:14:41,118 --> 00:14:43,164
or I add another day
to your session.
360
00:14:43,164 --> 00:14:46,167
Way to make a great first
impression, Nurse Ratchet.
361
00:14:46,167 --> 00:14:47,733
Excuse me,
did you just say something?
362
00:14:47,733 --> 00:14:49,387
Yeah, I said we can
probably fix the carburetor
363
00:14:49,387 --> 00:14:50,780
with a three-quarter inch
ratchet.
364
00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:52,825
Hmm,
you need a screwdriver,
not a ratchet,
365
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,001
to adjust a carburetor.
366
00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:56,394
Uh-oh,
she knows her shit.
367
00:14:56,394 --> 00:14:58,396
As I was saying,
368
00:14:58,396 --> 00:15:01,617
welcome to Gender Sensitivity
Training Class.
369
00:15:01,617 --> 00:15:04,837
My name is Ms. Colleen
O'Donnell-DeJesus.
370
00:15:04,837 --> 00:15:07,536
Uh-oh, two names.
That's a giant red flag.
371
00:15:07,536 --> 00:15:09,016
Sorry?
372
00:15:09,016 --> 00:15:12,889
Oh, it's just I'm...
I'm a little leery of people
373
00:15:12,889 --> 00:15:15,109
with hyphens
in their names.
374
00:15:15,109 --> 00:15:16,806
Anheuser-Busch?
375
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,069
Touche.
376
00:15:19,069 --> 00:15:20,505
Briggs & Stratton.
377
00:15:20,505 --> 00:15:22,507
That's not hyphenated,
and that's not a person.
378
00:15:22,507 --> 00:15:24,988
I think it's
an accounting firm.
379
00:15:24,988 --> 00:15:27,295
No, it's an
internal combustion engine.
380
00:15:27,295 --> 00:15:30,428
Now she's just
showing off.
381
00:15:30,428 --> 00:15:33,344
What are your concerns about
a person with two last names?
382
00:15:33,344 --> 00:15:35,738
Oh, it just makes me
kind of nervous,
383
00:15:35,738 --> 00:15:38,001
'cause I don't know which one
is your maiden name
384
00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:41,222
and which one is
your husband's name.
385
00:15:41,222 --> 00:15:43,876
I just don't want
to offend anyone.
386
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:45,922
DeJesus is my family name,
387
00:15:45,922 --> 00:15:48,838
O'Donnell is my partner's
family name.
388
00:15:48,838 --> 00:15:50,231
Partner?
Wait, wait...
389
00:15:50,231 --> 00:15:51,841
LOUDERMILK: Don't.No.
390
00:15:51,841 --> 00:15:53,495
Wait a minute.Mm-mm, don't.
391
00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,976
You're saying you live
with a woman and not a man?
392
00:15:55,976 --> 00:15:58,239
Correct.
393
00:15:58,239 --> 00:16:01,416
Okay, so and you're going
to counsel us men
on how to live with women.
394
00:16:01,416 --> 00:16:03,461
It seems like you only know
half the story, no?
395
00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:05,942
Yeah, he's right.
What makes you qualified to
teach us men-and-women stuff
396
00:16:05,942 --> 00:16:07,639
if you haven't actually
been in the trenches?
397
00:16:07,639 --> 00:16:09,206
Trenches?
Trust me,
she's been in...
398
00:16:09,206 --> 00:16:10,686
Nuh-uh, look.
399
00:16:10,686 --> 00:16:13,602
I... I want to apologize
for these guys, okay?
400
00:16:13,602 --> 00:16:15,734
And maybe shed a little light
on their behavior.
401
00:16:15,734 --> 00:16:18,737
Uh, I'm Sam Loudermilk,
also a licensed counselor.
402
00:16:18,737 --> 00:16:21,305
Ah, you have a degree
in counseling, Mr. Loudermilk?
403
00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:23,612
I... Uh, it's not
a degree,
404
00:16:23,612 --> 00:16:25,614
but I'm certified
by Sober Friends
405
00:16:25,614 --> 00:16:27,703
to counsel people
with addiction issues.
406
00:16:27,703 --> 00:16:30,401
Sober Friends?
Isn't that the AA rip-off?
407
00:16:30,401 --> 00:16:32,186
Yeah.Okay.
408
00:16:32,186 --> 00:16:33,839
So that's not really
applicable here,
409
00:16:33,839 --> 00:16:35,450
but thank you,
Mr. Loudermilk.
410
00:16:35,450 --> 00:16:38,540
Well, the thing is, okay,
the four of us,
411
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:41,499
we're just here because
of a giant misunderstanding.
412
00:16:41,499 --> 00:16:44,198
I don't actually have
any issues with women.
413
00:16:44,198 --> 00:16:45,982
Me neither.
I love women.
414
00:16:45,982 --> 00:16:48,115
Yeah, me too.
I got an $8,000 one
in my closet.
415
00:16:48,115 --> 00:16:51,031
Uh, he... That's fake.Oh, she doesn't feel fake.
416
00:16:51,031 --> 00:16:54,034
He... Trust me.
It's just better this way.
417
00:16:54,034 --> 00:16:56,732
Are you guys trying
to fail this class?
418
00:16:56,732 --> 00:17:00,301
Wait, are you saying...
We're getting grades?
419
00:17:00,301 --> 00:17:02,868
The point is,
Ms. O'Donnell-DeJesus,
420
00:17:02,868 --> 00:17:04,827
I don't need this class,
421
00:17:04,827 --> 00:17:07,612
and these guys,
as you can see,
are way too far gone.
422
00:17:07,612 --> 00:17:09,614
All right, not to mention
they have bigger problems
423
00:17:09,614 --> 00:17:10,920
they should be
working on first.
424
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:12,530
So counselor to counselor,
425
00:17:12,530 --> 00:17:14,837
if you could just
sign our slips for the court,
426
00:17:14,837 --> 00:17:17,144
we'll be out of your hair.
427
00:17:17,144 --> 00:17:21,800
I would think that as
a fellow licensed counselor,
428
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,629
Mr. Loudermilk, you would
understand how unprofessional
429
00:17:24,629 --> 00:17:27,980
it would be for me
to sign off on a student
without giving guidance.
430
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:30,635
Well, I couldn't
agree more.
431
00:17:30,635 --> 00:17:33,247
Except I've also found
that counseling only works
432
00:17:33,247 --> 00:17:34,987
when people really want it.
433
00:17:34,987 --> 00:17:38,034
And I have found that
if a judge thinks
you need my class,
434
00:17:38,034 --> 00:17:40,428
then you probably need
my class.
435
00:17:40,428 --> 00:17:44,171
Excuse me, could you and I
have a quick, private
student-teacher conference?
436
00:17:44,171 --> 00:17:45,433
Why not?
437
00:17:49,219 --> 00:17:50,873
All right,
let's cut the bull.
438
00:17:50,873 --> 00:17:53,005
How much is it gonna cost
for four Jane Hancocks?
439
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:55,356
100 each?
Nobody needs to know,
just between us.
440
00:17:55,356 --> 00:17:57,009
You can get something really
nice for the little lady.
441
00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,621
That's it!
442
00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:05,279
You four fuckbonnets are gonna
spend the entire two days
in my workshop.
443
00:18:05,279 --> 00:18:07,150
Every last second.
444
00:18:07,150 --> 00:18:09,979
You are going
to participate,
learn, grow.
445
00:18:09,979 --> 00:18:11,981
That is the only way
I'm signing those slips.
446
00:18:11,981 --> 00:18:13,809
And even then,
I might not sign them.
447
00:18:13,809 --> 00:18:15,811
Okay, I can do
$200 a guy,
448
00:18:15,811 --> 00:18:17,117
but I'm gonna have to hit
an ATM machine.
449
00:18:17,117 --> 00:18:19,249
Sit your ass down!
450
00:18:20,903 --> 00:18:23,340
So we all understand that
it's not necessarily
451
00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:25,560
what you find offensive,
but what they find offensive.
452
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:26,778
Yes?
453
00:18:27,692 --> 00:18:29,651
Hey, let's be honest.
454
00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:32,219
We can't say anything
to women anymore
without offending them.
455
00:18:32,219 --> 00:18:33,916
Not true.
456
00:18:33,916 --> 00:18:35,657
No, everything I say to them
seems to piss them off.
457
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:37,398
Give me an example, Winston.
458
00:18:37,398 --> 00:18:39,704
It's Mugsy.
Mugsy.
459
00:18:39,704 --> 00:18:41,576
Give me an example, Mugsy.
460
00:18:41,576 --> 00:18:42,968
Okay.
461
00:18:42,968 --> 00:18:45,406
Couple of weeks ago,
I'm in the mall
462
00:18:45,406 --> 00:18:47,538
and I see the Channel Five
weather lady.
463
00:18:47,538 --> 00:18:49,061
Weather person.Oh, okay.
464
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,541
See, here we go.
Here we go.
465
00:18:50,541 --> 00:18:52,152
The redhead?Uh-huh.
466
00:18:52,152 --> 00:18:55,459
Yeah,
she always gives me
a warm front.
467
00:18:55,459 --> 00:18:57,940
Sorry, I... I'm still
getting my sea legs here.
468
00:18:57,940 --> 00:18:59,376
So she's standing there.
469
00:18:59,376 --> 00:19:01,248
She's having, like,
a pretzel dog or something.
470
00:19:01,248 --> 00:19:03,989
So I walk up to her
471
00:19:03,989 --> 00:19:06,688
and I... I say,
"Hey, I'm a fan."
472
00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:09,299
And I tell her that she's
the most beautiful
473
00:19:09,299 --> 00:19:13,434
of all
the weather-people-persons...
474
00:19:13,434 --> 00:19:15,479
And she shoots daggers at me.
475
00:19:15,479 --> 00:19:19,875
But you do understand how
that's objectifying her, yes?
476
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:22,704
Making her feel like an object
rather than a person?
477
00:19:24,053 --> 00:19:25,707
By telling her
she's beautiful?
478
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:27,709
No, I...
I don't understand that.
479
00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:29,972
I-if some woman came up
to me and told me
that I was handsome
480
00:19:29,972 --> 00:19:31,539
and that I had
a nice package,
481
00:19:31,539 --> 00:19:33,193
I'd be like,
"Hey, aren't you sweet?"
482
00:19:33,193 --> 00:19:34,542
Well, that would be
wrong too.
483
00:19:34,542 --> 00:19:35,978
On many levels.
484
00:19:35,978 --> 00:19:38,459
I'm saying,
that's how she got the job.
485
00:19:38,459 --> 00:19:40,896
That's why she's on TV...
Because she's beautiful.
486
00:19:40,896 --> 00:19:43,246
You... You ever see
an ugly weather lady?
487
00:19:43,246 --> 00:19:45,030
No. No,
they're all gorgeous.
488
00:19:45,030 --> 00:19:47,032
They all have, like,
hot, tight dresses.
489
00:19:47,032 --> 00:19:50,427
They're pointing around
talking about
bariatric pressure
490
00:19:50,427 --> 00:19:52,821
and 40% chance of rain and...
491
00:19:52,821 --> 00:19:56,259
But... But if I mention
that she's beautiful,
I'm the pig.
492
00:19:56,259 --> 00:19:57,956
This.
493
00:19:57,956 --> 00:20:00,611
This is why
you guys are here.
494
00:20:00,611 --> 00:20:01,960
Toxic masculinity.
495
00:20:02,657 --> 00:20:04,441
Who...
496
00:20:04,441 --> 00:20:06,226
You're here
for a reason too, pal.
497
00:20:06,226 --> 00:20:08,010
That's true.
498
00:20:08,010 --> 00:20:10,708
My fiancee, Hannah,
asked me to take
this seminar
499
00:20:10,708 --> 00:20:14,190
before we get married
because she was concerned
500
00:20:14,190 --> 00:20:16,410
that I may not be
as sensitive
501
00:20:16,410 --> 00:20:18,455
to her feelings
as I should be.
502
00:20:18,455 --> 00:20:20,022
MUGSY: Oh, fuck you.
503
00:20:20,022 --> 00:20:21,893
You don't need
to be here?
504
00:20:21,893 --> 00:20:24,069
I want to be here.
505
00:20:24,069 --> 00:20:26,507
Jesus, you got any room
in those skinny jeans
for a set of balls?
506
00:20:26,507 --> 00:20:28,073
Anthony, please.
507
00:20:28,073 --> 00:20:30,989
All due respect,
Ms. O'Donnell De La Hoya,
508
00:20:30,989 --> 00:20:32,948
this kid's gonna get creamed
once he gets married.
509
00:20:32,948 --> 00:20:35,037
You can't just bend over
like that from the get-go.
510
00:20:35,037 --> 00:20:36,560
It's called "pegging,"
511
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,345
and it's an exercise
in female empowerment.
512
00:20:38,345 --> 00:20:39,868
So you're saying...No, no, no, no, no.
513
00:20:39,868 --> 00:20:41,957
Let the boy finish.
514
00:20:41,957 --> 00:20:45,830
I just mean
you gotta open
yourself up.
515
00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:47,919
Give and take a little.
516
00:20:47,919 --> 00:20:51,140
True masculinity
is not defined by
who's being penetrated.
517
00:20:52,837 --> 00:20:55,797
Oh, Lord,
why dost thou test me?
518
00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:58,800
[MELLOW MUSIC]
519
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,890
♪ ♪
520
00:21:01,890 --> 00:21:04,632
So, how's the
class going, Dad?
521
00:21:04,632 --> 00:21:06,329
Are you learning
a lot about math?
522
00:21:06,329 --> 00:21:09,027
Oh, uh, yeah, a ton.
523
00:21:09,027 --> 00:21:10,855
Like a thousand pounds' worth.[LAUGHS SOFTLY]
524
00:21:10,855 --> 00:21:14,381
But, hey, more importantly...
525
00:21:14,381 --> 00:21:15,817
Did they offer you the job?
526
00:21:16,731 --> 00:21:17,949
They did.
527
00:21:17,949 --> 00:21:19,821
That's fantastic, honey.
528
00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:21,518
So, when do you start?
529
00:21:21,518 --> 00:21:23,303
Actually,
I'm not gonna take it.
530
00:21:23,303 --> 00:21:24,913
W-why?
531
00:21:24,913 --> 00:21:26,393
Did he hit on you?
532
00:21:26,393 --> 00:21:28,177
Tell me he did not hit on you.He didn't hit on me.
533
00:21:28,177 --> 00:21:29,787
No, you be honest with me,
534
00:21:29,787 --> 00:21:31,485
because I'll go down there
and I'll straighten it out.
535
00:21:31,485 --> 00:21:33,878
He didn't hit on me, Dad.
He was very professional.
536
00:21:35,271 --> 00:21:37,273
Then wh-why aren't you
taking the job?
537
00:21:38,622 --> 00:21:41,408
It's the offer.
It was too low.
538
00:21:41,408 --> 00:21:43,105
Oh, sweetheart.
539
00:21:43,105 --> 00:21:44,846
That's the way it works.
540
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,238
You gotta pay your dues.
541
00:21:46,238 --> 00:21:48,066
You show them
how great you are
542
00:21:48,066 --> 00:21:51,069
and then later on,
they throw you a ton of money.
543
00:21:51,069 --> 00:21:53,637
Well, they offered
my friend Miles a job too,
544
00:21:53,637 --> 00:21:56,336
but his pay
was 20% more than mine.
545
00:21:57,772 --> 00:21:59,730
Maybe they gave him
a different job,
546
00:21:59,730 --> 00:22:02,690
or maybe he's
a bit more qualified.
547
00:22:02,690 --> 00:22:04,909
Nope.Different school?
548
00:22:04,909 --> 00:22:07,912
Classmates, and my grades
were better than his.
549
00:22:07,912 --> 00:22:09,958
Okay, well,
there had to be a reason.
550
00:22:09,958 --> 00:22:12,395
There was: he's a man.
551
00:22:12,395 --> 00:22:16,007
He got offered 20% more
than me because he's a man.
552
00:22:16,007 --> 00:22:18,619
Okay, just look at it
this way:
553
00:22:18,619 --> 00:22:20,142
the boss didn't hit on you,
554
00:22:20,142 --> 00:22:22,144
so that's probably worth
20% right there
555
00:22:22,144 --> 00:22:24,364
for you not to have
to deal with that.
556
00:22:24,364 --> 00:22:26,017
Are you hearing yourself
right now?
557
00:22:26,017 --> 00:22:27,628
What?
558
00:22:27,628 --> 00:22:29,934
You're saying I should pay
to not get harassed?
559
00:22:29,934 --> 00:22:31,762
I'm trying
to be supportive here.
560
00:22:31,762 --> 00:22:34,548
Listen, I know it's not right,
but that's the real world.
561
00:22:34,548 --> 00:22:35,897
It's not the real world.
562
00:22:35,897 --> 00:22:37,638
It's a fake world
that men created
563
00:22:37,638 --> 00:22:39,379
to keep
the glass ceiling intact.
564
00:22:39,379 --> 00:22:42,033
Oh, my God, I can't believe
I'm hearing this from you.
565
00:22:42,033 --> 00:22:44,514
I'm sorry, I...
I thought you wanted this job.
566
00:22:44,514 --> 00:22:46,821
I did.Well, then don't give up.
567
00:22:46,821 --> 00:22:49,476
Don't lecture me
about giving up.
568
00:22:49,476 --> 00:22:52,304
You weren't around when
Mom was juggling three jobs,
569
00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:54,481
raising your kids,
and making three-quarters
570
00:22:54,481 --> 00:22:57,179
of what the men
who had the exact
same job were making.
571
00:22:57,179 --> 00:23:00,225
You don't get it
'cause you've never had
to tolerate harassment
572
00:23:00,225 --> 00:23:02,271
in fear of losing a job
that you needed,
573
00:23:02,271 --> 00:23:05,274
and now you're
clueless enough to tell me
to just take the job
574
00:23:05,274 --> 00:23:07,624
and pay the difference
by not being harassed.
575
00:23:07,624 --> 00:23:09,409
You know what,
you're no better
576
00:23:09,409 --> 00:23:10,975
than the guy
who made me the offer.
577
00:23:17,678 --> 00:23:20,594
Okay, we are going to
discuss gender bias
578
00:23:20,594 --> 00:23:22,900
and avoiding
gender stereotypes
579
00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:25,816
in an effort to become
more gender-blind
in our daily lives.
580
00:23:26,904 --> 00:23:28,471
The hell is she saying?
581
00:23:28,471 --> 00:23:31,343
Can someone explain to Tony
what gender blindness is?
582
00:23:31,343 --> 00:23:33,563
Uh, may I?Please go ahead, Ed.
583
00:23:33,563 --> 00:23:35,609
Uh, well, Tony,
584
00:23:35,609 --> 00:23:38,568
uh, gender blindness
would be like if you...
585
00:23:38,568 --> 00:23:41,615
You go to get a massage
and you want a happy ending,
586
00:23:41,615 --> 00:23:44,661
and they give you
a guy massager
587
00:23:44,661 --> 00:23:46,663
but you don't
say anything.
588
00:23:47,925 --> 00:23:49,144
Okay.
589
00:23:49,144 --> 00:23:51,581
Can someone give us
a legal example?
590
00:23:51,581 --> 00:23:53,104
Uh, gender blindness
591
00:23:53,104 --> 00:23:55,890
is when you don't identify
people by gender.
592
00:23:55,890 --> 00:23:57,848
They're not "man"
or they're not "woman."
593
00:23:57,848 --> 00:23:58,980
They're just people.
594
00:23:58,980 --> 00:24:00,634
Very good, Sam.
595
00:24:00,634 --> 00:24:03,680
Did you know that women
make less money than men?
596
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,683
So? We have more expenses.
And we pay for the dates.
597
00:24:06,683 --> 00:24:08,076
And the rubbers.
598
00:24:08,076 --> 00:24:10,252
All right, you guys
just don't fucking get it.
599
00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:14,212
Please... Continue, Mugsy.
600
00:24:16,693 --> 00:24:18,652
I have a daughter,
601
00:24:18,652 --> 00:24:20,001
and she's smart.
602
00:24:20,001 --> 00:24:21,481
She's smarter
than most men.
603
00:24:21,481 --> 00:24:23,178
She's smarter than everybody
here, that's for sure.
604
00:24:23,178 --> 00:24:24,484
It's not a high bar.
605
00:24:26,573 --> 00:24:28,357
And she just
got offered a job,
606
00:24:28,357 --> 00:24:31,403
and they want to pay her
$15,000 less
607
00:24:31,403 --> 00:24:33,667
than her classmate, a man,
608
00:24:33,667 --> 00:24:35,407
for the same exact position.
609
00:24:35,407 --> 00:24:36,844
[CHUCKLES]
"Position."
610
00:24:36,844 --> 00:24:39,455
Ah, come on.
Grow the fuck up, Ed.What?
611
00:24:39,455 --> 00:24:41,718
This is serious shit.
612
00:24:41,718 --> 00:24:44,329
Did you know
that women make 70%
613
00:24:44,329 --> 00:24:47,724
of what most men make
for the same job?
614
00:24:47,724 --> 00:24:49,857
And I know that's true
'cause I did a Google on it.
615
00:24:49,857 --> 00:24:51,075
Yep.
616
00:24:51,075 --> 00:24:53,382
Well, it's not right,
617
00:24:53,382 --> 00:24:55,732
and we should be ashamed.
618
00:24:55,732 --> 00:24:58,518
There should be a law!I think there is a law.
619
00:24:58,518 --> 00:25:00,171
Well, then, how come
they don't enforce it?
620
00:25:00,171 --> 00:25:01,390
That's a very good question.
621
00:25:01,390 --> 00:25:02,913
No offense,
but I got enough problems
622
00:25:02,913 --> 00:25:04,741
without worrying about
everybody else's paycheck.
623
00:25:04,741 --> 00:25:07,178
That's because you only care
about yourself, Tony, okay?
624
00:25:07,178 --> 00:25:08,919
You don't respect women.Oh, yeah?
625
00:25:08,919 --> 00:25:10,399
Why don't you
stick around one
for a few years
626
00:25:10,399 --> 00:25:11,618
and then get back to me
about respect?
627
00:25:11,618 --> 00:25:13,228
Hey, hey, fuck you.Fuck you.
628
00:25:13,228 --> 00:25:16,187
Okay, guys, cool it.
Remember why we're here.
629
00:25:16,187 --> 00:25:18,189
We're here because Tony
can't go through ten minutes
630
00:25:18,189 --> 00:25:20,452
of a court case
without insulting a woman.
631
00:25:20,452 --> 00:25:22,280
She hit me in the head
with a fucking golf club.
632
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:23,804
I don't blame her.
633
00:25:23,804 --> 00:25:25,588
You know, his daughter
gets one bad job offer
634
00:25:25,588 --> 00:25:27,068
and he goes all
"MeToo" on us.
635
00:25:27,068 --> 00:25:28,373
Hey, fuck you.Fuck you.
636
00:25:28,373 --> 00:25:30,114
I'm gonna do my own
"MeToo" thing.
637
00:25:30,114 --> 00:25:32,639
Why should it
just be about women?It's not just for women.
638
00:25:32,639 --> 00:25:34,292
It's not for women at all.
639
00:25:37,382 --> 00:25:40,124
It's for us.
It's to change us.
640
00:25:42,300 --> 00:25:45,303
You know, all these movements,
all this "new world" stuff...
641
00:25:46,914 --> 00:25:49,612
Maybe it'll help us
be better fathers
642
00:25:49,612 --> 00:25:52,572
and husbands
and brothers and...
643
00:25:55,183 --> 00:25:56,401
People.
644
00:26:03,321 --> 00:26:04,932
And that, my friends,
645
00:26:04,932 --> 00:26:07,021
is what gender blindness
is all about.
646
00:26:11,939 --> 00:26:13,941
♪ ♪
647
00:26:16,944 --> 00:26:18,728
[LATCH CLICKS]
648
00:26:18,728 --> 00:26:20,295
Hey, Deb.
649
00:26:20,295 --> 00:26:22,384
Is, uh, Cappy home?
650
00:26:22,384 --> 00:26:24,691
What are you doing here?
651
00:26:24,691 --> 00:26:26,431
I'm here
to talk to my daughter.
652
00:26:26,431 --> 00:26:28,433
Haven't you said
enough already?
653
00:26:28,433 --> 00:26:29,870
Really?
654
00:26:29,870 --> 00:26:32,133
Take a lower salary
to not get hit on?
655
00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:35,049
Are you a complete idiot?
656
00:26:35,049 --> 00:26:36,398
Don't answer that.
657
00:26:36,398 --> 00:26:38,182
That's a rhetorical question.
658
00:26:38,182 --> 00:26:39,401
"Rhetorical."
659
00:26:39,401 --> 00:26:41,621
It means, "don't answer that."
660
00:26:41,621 --> 00:26:42,883
Hey, hey, hey.
661
00:26:44,449 --> 00:26:45,537
What's this?
662
00:26:47,714 --> 00:26:49,541
A women's sensitivity class.
663
00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:54,111
You took
a women's sensitivity class?
664
00:26:54,111 --> 00:26:56,026
Yeah, took and completed.
665
00:26:56,026 --> 00:26:57,941
Why does it say
"court ordered"?
666
00:26:57,941 --> 00:26:59,813
No, that's only if
there's a check next to it,
667
00:26:59,813 --> 00:27:01,684
and as you can see,
there's not.
668
00:27:03,425 --> 00:27:04,948
Hey...
669
00:27:04,948 --> 00:27:06,820
[SIGHS]
670
00:27:06,820 --> 00:27:09,779
I've been thinking
about what I told Cappy,
671
00:27:09,779 --> 00:27:12,652
and I was wrong,
and I want to talk to her.
672
00:27:15,350 --> 00:27:16,917
I wanna talk to my daughter.
673
00:27:19,267 --> 00:27:20,311
Hey, honey.
674
00:27:20,311 --> 00:27:21,661
Hey, Dad.
675
00:27:23,401 --> 00:27:25,012
So it wasn't a math class.
676
00:27:27,318 --> 00:27:28,668
I'm sorry, Capp.
677
00:27:30,757 --> 00:27:32,497
[SIGHS]
678
00:27:32,497 --> 00:27:33,977
I'm a giant fuck-up.
679
00:27:35,718 --> 00:27:38,242
[SNIFFLES]
I fucked up my marriage...
680
00:27:39,461 --> 00:27:41,028
I fucked up
my family...
681
00:27:42,420 --> 00:27:44,074
And I fucked up
your childhood.
682
00:27:46,337 --> 00:27:47,817
No, you didn't, Dad.
683
00:27:47,817 --> 00:27:50,167
Yes, I did.
[SNIFFLES]
684
00:27:50,167 --> 00:27:52,343
It was the booze...
685
00:27:52,343 --> 00:27:53,867
[SIGHS]
686
00:27:53,867 --> 00:27:56,304
It hurt me,
and it hurt me bad.
687
00:27:57,522 --> 00:27:59,046
But it hurt you more.
688
00:27:59,046 --> 00:28:02,005
It hurt all of us.
[SNIFFLES]
689
00:28:02,005 --> 00:28:05,487
But it didn't kill me,
and that is a blessing
690
00:28:05,487 --> 00:28:08,882
because that means
I still have a chance to grow.
691
00:28:10,535 --> 00:28:12,189
For as long as I live,
692
00:28:12,189 --> 00:28:14,888
I... I swear to God,
I'm gonna keep growing.
693
00:28:16,541 --> 00:28:19,022
I promise you...
I promise all of you...
694
00:28:19,022 --> 00:28:21,677
[SNIFFLES]
I'm gonna keep growing.
695
00:28:24,506 --> 00:28:26,464
[SNIFFLES]
696
00:28:28,466 --> 00:28:30,599
[MELANCHOLY ROCK MUSIC]
697
00:28:30,599 --> 00:28:32,993
♪ ♪
698
00:28:42,393 --> 00:28:45,788
♪ For once
699
00:28:45,788 --> 00:28:49,879
♪ I didn't go home
after shift
700
00:28:49,879 --> 00:28:53,143
♪ Called my wife and said
701
00:28:53,143 --> 00:28:55,102
♪ I'd be late
702
00:28:55,102 --> 00:28:57,974
♪ ♪
703
00:28:57,974 --> 00:29:01,238
♪ And every day
704
00:29:01,238 --> 00:29:04,328
♪ It gets harder
705
00:29:04,328 --> 00:29:06,591
♪ To go home
706
00:29:06,591 --> 00:29:10,291
♪ I rode with a guy from work
named Ronnie
707
00:29:10,291 --> 00:29:13,337
♪ ♪
708
00:29:13,337 --> 00:29:17,080
♪ Never been
to his house before ♪