1
00:00:03,546 --> 00:00:05,200
This one is for you, Claire.
2
00:00:06,418 --> 00:00:08,290
You gave me Roger's.
3
00:00:08,290 --> 00:00:10,727
Oh, why have I got
feet for hands?
4
00:00:10,727 --> 00:00:12,729
I thought you do
have feet for hands.
5
00:00:12,729 --> 00:00:14,905
Ben, you haven't
said anything in a while.
6
00:00:14,905 --> 00:00:17,777
I-I just finished every
episode of Buddy N' Andy,
7
00:00:17,777 --> 00:00:19,388
so I'm pretty proud of that.
8
00:00:19,388 --> 00:00:21,085
And I've been playing
some video poker,
9
00:00:21,085 --> 00:00:23,000
and, uh...
Oh, the food truck.
10
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,959
"Does not meet
our current
publishing needs."
11
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,049
You don't know what
fucking publishing needs.
12
00:00:28,049 --> 00:00:30,573
It's why the industry's dying.
13
00:00:30,573 --> 00:00:33,532
[SOFT MUSIC]
14
00:00:33,532 --> 00:00:35,795
♪ ♪
15
00:00:36,666 --> 00:00:38,189
This is amazing.
16
00:00:38,189 --> 00:00:39,321
You should do this
for a living.
17
00:00:39,321 --> 00:00:42,759
[SNORTS AND LAUGHS]
18
00:00:42,759 --> 00:00:43,934
[CHUCKLES]
19
00:00:43,934 --> 00:00:45,370
Oh, come on.
20
00:00:45,370 --> 00:00:47,155
You're not gonna give it up
for that Maserati?
21
00:00:47,155 --> 00:00:49,331
I call witty gems Maseratis.
22
00:00:49,331 --> 00:00:50,810
Mm.That wasn't even a Kia.
23
00:00:50,810 --> 00:00:53,030
Hey, it was more
than a Kia. [SCOFFS]
24
00:00:53,030 --> 00:00:55,380
For what?
All you did was say
that he should do
25
00:00:55,380 --> 00:00:57,643
what he does for a living,
which he does.
26
00:00:57,643 --> 00:00:59,993
Yeah.
Isn't it ironic?
27
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:01,821
No.
28
00:01:01,821 --> 00:01:03,693
You and Alanis Morissette
need to go in on a dictionary.
29
00:01:03,693 --> 00:01:05,390
Okay, okay.
Get off of Claire's back.
30
00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:07,871
This dinner, in large part,
is in honor of her
31
00:01:07,871 --> 00:01:10,178
because she's getting an award
at her college, aren't ya,
32
00:01:10,178 --> 00:01:11,396
for a doodling contest.
33
00:01:11,396 --> 00:01:13,268
Oh, I don't doodle.
I do portraitures.
34
00:01:13,268 --> 00:01:14,834
Again,
you need a dictionary.
35
00:01:14,834 --> 00:01:16,140
That's not a word.
36
00:01:16,140 --> 00:01:17,533
Uh, artists use it.
37
00:01:17,533 --> 00:01:19,709
It's "portrait"
with "ure" at the end.
38
00:01:19,709 --> 00:01:23,234
No, it's "d" with "umb"
at the end.
39
00:01:23,234 --> 00:01:26,019
You know, I should say
we're not just
honoring Claire.
40
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:27,543
I, uh...
41
00:01:27,543 --> 00:01:28,892
I made it to the finals.
42
00:01:29,806 --> 00:01:31,242
Finals of what?
43
00:01:31,242 --> 00:01:32,417
Oh, that's right.
I didn't tell you.
44
00:01:32,417 --> 00:01:33,766
Promise not to mock me?
45
00:01:33,766 --> 00:01:34,985
I promise.
46
00:01:34,985 --> 00:01:36,682
Video poker tournament.
47
00:01:36,682 --> 00:01:38,249
[SNORTS] What?
48
00:01:38,249 --> 00:01:39,903
You just promised.
49
00:01:39,903 --> 00:01:41,426
Oh, come on.
You were gonna
tell me anyway.
50
00:01:41,426 --> 00:01:43,689
I'm just speeding
the process along.
51
00:01:43,689 --> 00:01:45,082
Well, I think
it's great, Ben.
52
00:01:45,082 --> 00:01:46,214
Congratulations.
53
00:01:46,214 --> 00:01:48,433
Thank you very much.
54
00:01:48,433 --> 00:01:50,174
You know, it turns out,
I was one of the top players
over the last couple months,
55
00:01:50,174 --> 00:01:51,915
so I racked up a bunch
of points on my player's card.
56
00:01:51,915 --> 00:01:53,656
So, what,
you've been going
to a casino?
57
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,484
CLAIRE: He's made
some money lately.
58
00:01:55,484 --> 00:01:57,312
He can do whatever the fuck
he wants with it.
59
00:01:57,312 --> 00:01:58,835
I'm just trying to be
the voice of reason
over here,
60
00:01:58,835 --> 00:02:00,228
'cause every time you have
a good thing going,
61
00:02:00,228 --> 00:02:01,881
you have to sabotage it.
62
00:02:01,881 --> 00:02:04,101
Shouldn't be
giving your money
to a fucking casino.
63
00:02:04,101 --> 00:02:05,624
Oh, okay.
64
00:02:05,624 --> 00:02:07,409
Well, by the way,
I win sometimes too, so...
65
00:02:07,409 --> 00:02:08,758
Well, sure,
you win sometimes.
66
00:02:08,758 --> 00:02:10,194
They're gonna
let you win sometimes
67
00:02:10,194 --> 00:02:12,153
so you'll keep playing
and lose.
68
00:02:12,153 --> 00:02:13,850
Also, you know,
69
00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:15,982
going to a casino, that's
just like going to a bar.
70
00:02:15,982 --> 00:02:17,158
What are you talking about?
71
00:02:17,158 --> 00:02:18,724
Well, there's free booze
everywhere.
72
00:02:18,724 --> 00:02:20,509
What bar do you know
that gives away free booze?
73
00:02:20,509 --> 00:02:22,467
And by the way, you know what?
It's not exactly free.
74
00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:24,077
You still gotta tip
a couple chips.
75
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:26,471
Well, it's not
the casino chips
I'm worried about, okay?
76
00:02:26,471 --> 00:02:27,864
It's your sobriety chip,
77
00:02:27,864 --> 00:02:29,300
'cause you gotta
be careful with that.
78
00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:30,867
Okay, great.
79
00:02:30,867 --> 00:02:32,216
I make a nice meal,
we're trying to celebrate,
80
00:02:32,216 --> 00:02:33,783
and you gotta shit
all over it. Cool.
81
00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:37,090
[SIGHS]
82
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:38,440
You're right.
83
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:39,919
I'm sorry.
84
00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,008
Congratulations
on your dumb-ass drawing
85
00:02:42,008 --> 00:02:44,794
and your stupid fucking
video poker tournament.
86
00:02:44,794 --> 00:02:47,057
There.
Was that so hard?
87
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:51,844
[FRANZ FERDINAND'S
STAND ON THE HORIZONPLAYS]
88
00:02:51,844 --> 00:02:54,586
♪ ♪
89
00:03:01,550 --> 00:03:03,726
So anyway,
Louise hasn't been answering
90
00:03:03,726 --> 00:03:06,250
any of my calls,
texts, or pages.
91
00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:08,557
She still has a pager?
92
00:03:08,557 --> 00:03:10,428
Yeah, I got her one
for emergencies,
93
00:03:10,428 --> 00:03:12,822
you know, in case she's not
answering my calls or texts.
94
00:03:12,822 --> 00:03:14,040
What's a pager?
95
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:18,741
Uh, yeah,
before phones
were cellular,
96
00:03:18,741 --> 00:03:21,961
we used to have
these sardine
can-sized devices
97
00:03:21,961 --> 00:03:23,311
that we carried around
to let you know
98
00:03:23,311 --> 00:03:24,616
when people were trying
to reach you.
99
00:03:24,616 --> 00:03:26,879
Oh, and then
you text them back?
100
00:03:26,879 --> 00:03:29,926
Nah, you could only
get numbers, that's it.
101
00:03:29,926 --> 00:03:32,233
If you could get numbers,
why couldn't you get letters?
102
00:03:32,233 --> 00:03:33,843
'Cause we were all
fuckin' idiots.
103
00:03:33,843 --> 00:03:35,018
Is that what
you want to hear?
104
00:03:35,018 --> 00:03:36,628
Hey, man, take it easy.
I'm just...
105
00:03:36,628 --> 00:03:39,501
All right, I'm sorry.
I'm just...
106
00:03:39,501 --> 00:03:40,806
I'm pissed off.
107
00:03:40,806 --> 00:03:42,286
Why? What's going on?
108
00:03:42,286 --> 00:03:46,551
I saw an ad
for a robot vacuum cleaner,
109
00:03:46,551 --> 00:03:48,814
and I'm like,
"I thought of that."
110
00:03:48,814 --> 00:03:50,860
No, man, they had that
back on The Jetsons.
111
00:03:50,860 --> 00:03:52,165
That's when
I thought of it.
112
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,124
I was like,
"Somebody should make that."
113
00:03:54,124 --> 00:03:58,041
Cry me a river.
I invented the first-ever
selfie stick.
114
00:03:58,041 --> 00:03:59,869
How did you come...
Okay, that makes sense.
115
00:03:59,869 --> 00:04:02,350
Yeah, I called it
the Roger Rod.
116
00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:03,612
[CHUCKLES]
117
00:04:03,612 --> 00:04:04,917
I should've patented it,
I guess.
118
00:04:04,917 --> 00:04:06,179
But I just didn't think
that anybody else
119
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:07,833
would be interested,
honestly.
120
00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:10,096
I also invented
the trombone stick,
121
00:04:10,096 --> 00:04:11,620
the hitchhiking stick,
122
00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:12,882
the ass-wiping...
123
00:04:12,882 --> 00:04:14,840
Sticks, we get it, okay.
I have a share.
124
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,625
Hey, no.
Roger's not done talking yet.
125
00:04:16,625 --> 00:04:19,671
I just made the finals
126
00:04:19,671 --> 00:04:22,065
of a video poker tournament.
127
00:04:22,065 --> 00:04:23,240
STEVIE: Holy shit, man.Whoo!
128
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:24,328
That's fucking awesome, man.
129
00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:26,374
Mazel fuckin' tov, yeah.
130
00:04:26,374 --> 00:04:28,376
Thank you very much,
everyone.
131
00:04:28,376 --> 00:04:30,160
You know,
it does my heart
a lot of good
132
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:31,857
to hear all them
"attaboys"
133
00:04:31,857 --> 00:04:35,339
because the asshole that
I live with trivialized it.
134
00:04:35,339 --> 00:04:38,081
I didn't trivialize it.
I said it was stupid
and dangerous.
135
00:04:38,081 --> 00:04:41,519
Hey, making the finals
in anything is a big deal,
even the WNBA.
136
00:04:41,519 --> 00:04:43,521
Hey, hey.
That's sexist, Tony.
137
00:04:43,521 --> 00:04:45,480
No worries, Tony.
I take no offense.
138
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:46,959
Thank you very much.
139
00:04:46,959 --> 00:04:49,701
I don't know. I think
I agree with Loudermilk.
140
00:04:49,701 --> 00:04:51,137
Gambling is bad.
141
00:04:51,137 --> 00:04:52,225
You own a casino.
142
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,792
Well, my tribe does.
143
00:04:53,792 --> 00:04:56,882
I'm only responsible
for the buffet, and...
And...
144
00:04:56,882 --> 00:04:59,885
Sometimes I see a lot
of sad faces at that buffet.
145
00:04:59,885 --> 00:05:02,105
Maybe the food sucks.Not a chance.
146
00:05:02,105 --> 00:05:05,064
We have the best
chicken a la king
in Washington State.
147
00:05:05,064 --> 00:05:08,590
Hey, maybe we could go
to the tournament.
148
00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:12,550
Wow. That would
be so supportive.
149
00:05:12,550 --> 00:05:15,553
Well, where is it?Tukwila.
150
00:05:15,553 --> 00:05:18,121
Ooh, that
sounds exotic.
151
00:05:18,121 --> 00:05:19,514
We should all
book tickets.
152
00:05:19,514 --> 00:05:21,951
No, no, it's actually
only 16 miles from here.
153
00:05:21,951 --> 00:05:24,345
No fuckin' way.
I think I've been there.
154
00:05:24,345 --> 00:05:25,781
How weird is that?
155
00:05:25,781 --> 00:05:29,088
It's not weird.
It's only 16 miles away.
156
00:05:29,088 --> 00:05:30,916
There's, like,
four or five casinos there.
157
00:05:30,916 --> 00:05:32,091
It's like Vegas, man.
158
00:05:32,091 --> 00:05:33,223
Do they have whores?MUGSY: Ed...
159
00:05:33,223 --> 00:05:34,833
Ladies of the evening.
160
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:36,095
Right, right.
161
00:05:36,095 --> 00:05:37,662
Edward, please.
This is a classy place.
162
00:05:37,662 --> 00:05:39,185
It's gonna be crawling
with hookers.
163
00:05:39,185 --> 00:05:40,491
[ED LAUGHS]
164
00:05:40,491 --> 00:05:41,797
Wow, this is
exciting shit, man.
165
00:05:41,797 --> 00:05:43,842
It's gonna be like
our very own Hangover.
166
00:05:43,842 --> 00:05:47,019
Okay, Hangoverwas about
a bunch of guys
getting blackout drunk.
167
00:05:47,019 --> 00:05:49,674
Do none of you cretins
see the problem with this?
168
00:05:49,674 --> 00:05:51,415
Well, actually,
the underlying story
169
00:05:51,415 --> 00:05:53,896
was about the bonds
of friendship.
170
00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:56,942
Right, so it'll be like
Hangoverwithout the drinking.
171
00:05:56,942 --> 00:05:58,553
I think
you just described hell.
172
00:05:58,553 --> 00:06:00,685
Okay, you know what?
Cisco, don't even
listen to him.
173
00:06:00,685 --> 00:06:02,992
Guy just wants
to piss on everyone's parade.
174
00:06:02,992 --> 00:06:06,343
What parade?
You're in a video poker
tournament.
175
00:06:06,343 --> 00:06:08,040
It just means
that you've blown enough money
176
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,390
that they're inviting you back
177
00:06:09,390 --> 00:06:11,261
to the loser playoffs
to blow more.
178
00:06:11,261 --> 00:06:13,959
Okay, dude,
when are you gonna admit
that you've hit a bad streak
179
00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:15,744
and just don't want
to see anyone else triumph?
180
00:06:15,744 --> 00:06:17,136
[CHUCKLING]
Bad streak.
181
00:06:17,136 --> 00:06:19,225
That implies that Loudermilk
has good streaks.
182
00:06:19,225 --> 00:06:20,923
BEN: Yeah, well, this one's
worse than normal.
183
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:22,794
First he finds out
he has a baby brother,
184
00:06:22,794 --> 00:06:25,536
then Lizzie Poole
reminds him what a box
of negativity he is,
185
00:06:25,536 --> 00:06:28,278
then he finally finishes
his book, and any bites?
186
00:06:28,278 --> 00:06:29,932
No, just a bunch
of rejection letters.
187
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:32,369
Oh, you know what?
Fuck off.
188
00:06:32,369 --> 00:06:34,327
Hey, could you two
lovebirds take the spat
back to the nest?
189
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:36,199
We're trying to plan
a fuckin' road trip here.
190
00:06:36,199 --> 00:06:37,592
[ED CHUCKLES]Road trip?
191
00:06:37,592 --> 00:06:39,681
It's 16 miles away from here.
192
00:06:39,681 --> 00:06:41,509
Fuck yeah, road trip.
193
00:06:41,509 --> 00:06:44,207
Let's all pile in
and go in my van!
194
00:06:44,207 --> 00:06:46,644
[CHEERS AND LAUGHTER]
195
00:06:46,644 --> 00:06:49,604
[DOWNBEAT ROCK MUSIC]
196
00:06:49,604 --> 00:06:52,433
♪ ♪
197
00:06:52,433 --> 00:06:54,260
Hey, Roger.
198
00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:56,132
Hello.
199
00:06:56,132 --> 00:06:58,221
Um...
200
00:06:58,221 --> 00:07:02,573
I have some exciting news,
and it kinda... Okay,
201
00:07:02,573 --> 00:07:05,446
very much
has to do with you.
202
00:07:05,446 --> 00:07:07,404
I'm getting an award
at college
203
00:07:07,404 --> 00:07:09,928
for a drawing I did of you.
204
00:07:09,928 --> 00:07:12,409
You've been sketching me?[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
205
00:07:12,409 --> 00:07:14,324
Well, everyone
in class was asked
206
00:07:14,324 --> 00:07:17,066
to draw the most inspiring
person they know,
207
00:07:17,066 --> 00:07:19,242
and I drew you.
208
00:07:19,242 --> 00:07:22,332
I'm the most
inspiring person
you know?
209
00:07:22,332 --> 00:07:24,073
Yeah.Why?
210
00:07:24,073 --> 00:07:25,814
Well, you know.
211
00:07:25,814 --> 00:07:27,729
No, no, I actually don't.
212
00:07:27,729 --> 00:07:31,428
Oh, well, um,
you just... You...
213
00:07:31,428 --> 00:07:36,172
You know, you've...
You've accomplished
so much.
214
00:07:36,172 --> 00:07:37,826
With what?
215
00:07:37,826 --> 00:07:39,915
You know...
216
00:07:39,915 --> 00:07:41,307
Your drumming.
217
00:07:41,307 --> 00:07:42,483
Oh.
218
00:07:42,483 --> 00:07:43,832
I didn't know you were a fan.
219
00:07:43,832 --> 00:07:46,661
Oh, sure. Huge, yeah.Oh, wow.
220
00:07:46,661 --> 00:07:49,315
Anyway, they're giving me
an award tomorrow at school,
221
00:07:49,315 --> 00:07:52,841
and they wanted
to give you an award too.
222
00:07:52,841 --> 00:07:54,930
Want to give me an award?Mm-hmm.
223
00:07:54,930 --> 00:07:56,409
Why?
224
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:58,977
Well, normally the award
just goes to the artist,
225
00:07:58,977 --> 00:08:01,502
not the subject
of the drawing.
226
00:08:01,502 --> 00:08:05,070
But after my professor
saw my portraiture of you,
227
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:06,898
he wanted
to give you an award.
228
00:08:07,812 --> 00:08:09,640
Really?
229
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,208
So he knows about
my drumming as well.
230
00:08:12,208 --> 00:08:13,470
Mm-hmm.
231
00:08:13,470 --> 00:08:15,472
Wow, ain't that lovely?
232
00:08:15,472 --> 00:08:17,692
Just when you think
people might have
forgotten your work,
233
00:08:17,692 --> 00:08:20,042
you realize that music
can just live on.
234
00:08:21,173 --> 00:08:22,740
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
235
00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:25,047
Oh, so it's not enough
that you lose in a casino.
236
00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:27,005
Now you gotta lose
at home too?
237
00:08:27,005 --> 00:08:28,920
Well, isn't this illegal?
238
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:32,054
No, it's totally legal
on this...
239
00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:33,534
Albanian website.
240
00:08:33,534 --> 00:08:34,883
And I'm good at it too.
I was way down.
241
00:08:34,883 --> 00:08:37,276
Now I'm only down, like,
3,000 leks.
242
00:08:37,276 --> 00:08:40,062
Relax, that's
around 30 bucks.
243
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:43,021
Uh, okay, I think
what you're doing here
is self-sabotaging
244
00:08:43,021 --> 00:08:44,893
and a little scary,
but let's table that.
245
00:08:44,893 --> 00:08:46,459
[COMPUTER CHIMES]
246
00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:48,287
I think you actually might've
hit on something today.
247
00:08:48,287 --> 00:08:50,115
Is that right?
248
00:08:50,115 --> 00:08:51,987
You know,
I don't even remember
a thing I said.
249
00:08:51,987 --> 00:08:53,597
I was just trying
to be mean to you.
What did I hit on?
250
00:08:53,597 --> 00:08:56,208
[SIGHS]
Well, you're probably right
251
00:08:56,208 --> 00:08:59,516
about the Clyde thing hitting
me harder than I thought.
252
00:08:59,516 --> 00:09:01,257
And I'm pissed off
about the rejections
253
00:09:01,257 --> 00:09:02,650
'cause it's
a good fucking book.
254
00:09:02,650 --> 00:09:04,869
Mm-hmm.
255
00:09:04,869 --> 00:09:07,785
But his Lizzie Poole thing,
man, it's really killing me.
256
00:09:07,785 --> 00:09:09,657
I just...
I think she's awesome.
257
00:09:09,657 --> 00:09:11,310
Okay, good share.
258
00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:14,009
Hey, we're not in a group,
and that's not a share.
259
00:09:14,009 --> 00:09:16,185
I'm trying to tell my fucking
friend what's on my mind.
260
00:09:16,185 --> 00:09:17,490
[GROANS]
261
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:18,927
Now I just lost
another 100 leks
262
00:09:18,927 --> 00:09:20,493
thanks to that
distracting babble.
263
00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:21,625
If you'll excuse me.
264
00:09:25,194 --> 00:09:27,675
♪ ♪
265
00:09:31,069 --> 00:09:32,723
Yo.
266
00:09:32,723 --> 00:09:35,857
Sorry, it took me a while
to get my drums into the car.
267
00:09:35,857 --> 00:09:37,380
Can you help me
carry them in?
268
00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:40,165
Uh, no, no, no, no.
That won't be necessary.
269
00:09:40,165 --> 00:09:42,951
They'll probably just
show my drawing of you,
270
00:09:42,951 --> 00:09:45,127
and then after
they give us our awards,
271
00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:46,694
they might ask us
to say something.
272
00:09:46,694 --> 00:09:48,913
It's...Oh, okay.
273
00:09:48,913 --> 00:09:51,437
Well, in order
to rouse the students
properly,
274
00:09:51,437 --> 00:09:53,526
do you think
I should talk more
about my musical career
275
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:56,486
or the somewhat inspiring way
I overcame addiction?
276
00:09:57,574 --> 00:09:59,402
Either-or.All right.
277
00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:01,404
Well, there he is
in person.
278
00:10:01,404 --> 00:10:04,189
Oh. Roger,
this is Professor Phelps.
279
00:10:04,189 --> 00:10:06,365
He's the one who insisted
you get an award too.
280
00:10:06,365 --> 00:10:08,933
Oh, well, let me say
on record I like you already.
281
00:10:08,933 --> 00:10:10,500
[BOTH LAUGH]
282
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,241
Are you sure you don't want me
to go and get my drums?
283
00:10:12,241 --> 00:10:14,156
Drums? For what?
284
00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:15,548
To play them.
285
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,159
'Cause I'm a drummer.
286
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:19,770
You are? Oh, my God,
that's incredible.
287
00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:21,467
Hey, make sure
you mention that
in your speech.
288
00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:24,209
You didn't know
I was a drummer?
289
00:10:24,209 --> 00:10:27,082
Oh, I-I could've sworn
I mentioned that.
290
00:10:27,082 --> 00:10:30,389
Oh, no, you did. You did.
Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
291
00:10:30,389 --> 00:10:32,957
They don't call us
absent-minded professors
for nothing.
292
00:10:32,957 --> 00:10:34,742
[ALL CHUCKLE]
293
00:10:34,742 --> 00:10:36,308
Well, let's get this show
on the road.All right.
294
00:10:36,308 --> 00:10:37,919
The class is ready
for you, Roger.Yeah.
295
00:10:37,919 --> 00:10:39,747
Um, I thought
I'd go first,
296
00:10:39,747 --> 00:10:42,097
you know, 'cause
it's my drawing,
so I just assumed.
297
00:10:42,097 --> 00:10:43,489
All right, everyone.
298
00:10:43,489 --> 00:10:46,231
Please give a warm welcome
to Roger Frostly.
299
00:10:46,231 --> 00:10:48,669
[APPLAUSE]
300
00:10:51,106 --> 00:10:52,847
Roger is the subject
301
00:10:52,847 --> 00:10:55,937
of Claire's
award-winning portraiture.
302
00:10:55,937 --> 00:10:58,156
[APPLAUSE]
303
00:10:59,854 --> 00:11:01,899
Claire,
would you do the honors?
304
00:11:08,993 --> 00:11:11,517
[CLASS MURMURING]
305
00:11:11,517 --> 00:11:14,172
[APPLAUSE]
306
00:11:18,133 --> 00:11:20,875
Well, I hate
to disappoint you,
307
00:11:20,875 --> 00:11:22,790
but I haven't really
got feathers.
308
00:11:22,790 --> 00:11:24,226
[LAUGHTER]
309
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,576
I used to, but I flew
into a power line
310
00:11:26,576 --> 00:11:27,838
and my wings
are in the shop.
311
00:11:27,838 --> 00:11:29,535
[LAUGHTER]
312
00:11:29,535 --> 00:11:31,146
[MELLOW MUSIC]
313
00:11:31,146 --> 00:11:33,191
But in Germany,
it's crazy 'cause they...
314
00:11:33,191 --> 00:11:34,932
They, like, make you play
for an hour and a half.
315
00:11:34,932 --> 00:11:36,107
It was nuts, honestly.
316
00:11:36,107 --> 00:11:38,370
That's crazy.
317
00:11:38,370 --> 00:11:41,243
And again, Claire,
I'm really sorry we didn't
have time for your speech.
318
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,940
Just Roger
was so captivating.
319
00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:45,421
Yeah, yeah, he was...
He was good.
320
00:11:45,421 --> 00:11:48,163
Um, wasn't I supposed
to get an award too?
321
00:11:48,163 --> 00:11:50,818
Oh, yeah.
Uh, I think it's still
on my desk.
322
00:11:50,818 --> 00:11:52,254
Why don't you
run back and get it?
323
00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:53,821
Okay.
324
00:11:53,821 --> 00:11:55,823
Again, that was
really amazing in there.
325
00:11:55,823 --> 00:11:57,302
That's the first time
all semester
326
00:11:57,302 --> 00:11:58,826
my students have looked up
from their phones.
327
00:11:58,826 --> 00:11:59,957
[CHUCKLES]
328
00:11:59,957 --> 00:12:01,654
Actually, a couple
of them think
329
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,439
that maybe
I'm quasi-cool now
because of you.
330
00:12:03,439 --> 00:12:05,658
[CHUCKLES] Hey, hey.[LAUGHS]
331
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,138
Hi.Hi.
332
00:12:07,138 --> 00:12:08,661
I don't want us to sound
stalkerish or anything,
333
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,968
but I am a huge fan of yours.
334
00:12:10,968 --> 00:12:12,840
Really?Yeah.
335
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:14,319
Roger, this
is my sister Arielle.
336
00:12:14,319 --> 00:12:16,060
I made the mistake
of telling her about you,
337
00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:18,280
and, well, she insisted
on coming to my class today.
338
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,629
Stop it.
339
00:12:19,629 --> 00:12:21,022
Listen, I'm sure
you want to get out of here,
340
00:12:21,022 --> 00:12:22,327
but if I could just
have a minute?
341
00:12:22,327 --> 00:12:23,851
Oh, I'll give you three.
342
00:12:23,851 --> 00:12:26,331
Wow, generous.That's me, to a fault.
343
00:12:26,331 --> 00:12:27,463
[CHUCKLES]
344
00:12:27,463 --> 00:12:28,681
Okay, so here's the deal.
345
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:29,987
We have an event
tomorrow night.
346
00:12:29,987 --> 00:12:32,076
My event, The Bravies.
347
00:12:33,208 --> 00:12:35,253
The what?The Bravies.
348
00:12:35,253 --> 00:12:37,212
♪HowBraveAreYou?Mm-hmm.
349
00:12:37,212 --> 00:12:39,040
It's one of the biggest
charities in all of Seattle.
350
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,432
And definitely the most fun.
351
00:12:40,432 --> 00:12:42,521
Ah.Huh?
352
00:12:42,521 --> 00:12:44,436
I'm in the music business,
so we get a lot
of great bands in,
353
00:12:44,436 --> 00:12:47,048
and we give out a bunch of
awards, raise a ton of money.
354
00:12:47,048 --> 00:12:48,484
Oh, nice.Mm-hmm.
355
00:12:48,484 --> 00:12:50,486
So how exactly can I help?
356
00:12:50,486 --> 00:12:53,794
Well, we would like
to honor you.
357
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,102
[CHUCKLES]
It's been a hell of a week.
358
00:12:58,102 --> 00:12:59,234
[LAUGHS]
359
00:12:59,234 --> 00:13:00,539
It would mean
so much to us
360
00:13:00,539 --> 00:13:02,672
as a charity
to have you up there.
361
00:13:02,672 --> 00:13:04,195
Mm, but you said
it was tomorrow night.
362
00:13:04,195 --> 00:13:05,501
Mm-hmm.
363
00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:06,676
Don't you already have
an honoree?
364
00:13:06,676 --> 00:13:08,939
Yeah, we have several.
365
00:13:08,939 --> 00:13:11,507
But you would make
a great addition.
366
00:13:13,509 --> 00:13:14,684
Hmm.
367
00:13:14,684 --> 00:13:15,946
Please?
368
00:13:15,946 --> 00:13:18,296
Roger, please let us
honor you.
369
00:13:20,472 --> 00:13:22,997
I'd be delighted and honored
to be your honoree.
370
00:13:22,997 --> 00:13:24,172
Ah! [CHUCKLES]
371
00:13:24,172 --> 00:13:25,608
Professor Phelps?
372
00:13:25,608 --> 00:13:27,871
I couldn't find my trophy
on your desk.
373
00:13:27,871 --> 00:13:29,873
Oh, it's not a trophy,
Claire.
374
00:13:29,873 --> 00:13:31,440
It's a certificate.
375
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,529
Oh, but he got a...
376
00:13:35,096 --> 00:13:36,837
I'll just pick it up
next week.
377
00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:39,840
[MELLOW MUSIC]
378
00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:43,278
All right, who wants
to go first today?
379
00:13:43,278 --> 00:13:45,367
[SIGHS]
380
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,978
How many times
do I gotta tell you
this isn't the third grade?
381
00:13:47,978 --> 00:13:49,980
Put your fucking
hand down, Mugsy.
382
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,332
Well?
383
00:13:54,332 --> 00:13:57,509
I almost took an Ambien
last night.
384
00:13:57,509 --> 00:14:00,904
I didn't, but, uh,
I've been having
trouble sleeping lately.
385
00:14:00,904 --> 00:14:02,645
Why do you even
have an Ambien?
386
00:14:02,645 --> 00:14:04,647
Oh, no,
it's not for me.
387
00:14:04,647 --> 00:14:07,128
It's for my kids when they
come and visit, you know?
388
00:14:07,128 --> 00:14:09,478
They have my ex-wife's
hyper genes.
389
00:14:09,478 --> 00:14:11,480
Oh, my God.I don't know, man.
390
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,004
Do you remember
that feeling when
you were a kid
391
00:14:14,004 --> 00:14:18,443
and you were just excited
about something coming up,
392
00:14:18,443 --> 00:14:20,706
like Christmas
morning or...
393
00:14:20,706 --> 00:14:23,753
The grand opening
of a new RadioShack
or something?
394
00:14:23,753 --> 00:14:26,408
Ever since we decided
to go to the casino
395
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:29,759
for Ben's video poker
Hangoverthing,
396
00:14:29,759 --> 00:14:31,935
time has not been able
to go fast enough.
397
00:14:31,935 --> 00:14:33,545
Yeah.
I'm stoked too.
398
00:14:33,545 --> 00:14:35,156
With Louise shunning me,
399
00:14:35,156 --> 00:14:37,114
it's the only thing I have
to look forward to in my life.
400
00:14:37,114 --> 00:14:38,724
That's pathetic.
401
00:14:38,724 --> 00:14:40,030
Oh, yeah,
I'm aware of that.
402
00:14:42,728 --> 00:14:44,121
What are you
so happy about?
403
00:14:44,121 --> 00:14:46,123
Well, can't someone smile
for no reason?
404
00:14:46,123 --> 00:14:47,864
Sure, if you're
psychotic.
405
00:14:47,864 --> 00:14:49,822
All right,
if you must know,
406
00:14:49,822 --> 00:14:52,913
I am being honored
at a charity event
tomorrow night,
407
00:14:52,913 --> 00:14:55,741
and I've just found out
that I'm gonna be
walking up the red carpet.
408
00:14:55,741 --> 00:14:58,005
Oh.Who's honoring you?
409
00:14:58,005 --> 00:15:00,442
Oh, Claire's professor's
sister is organizing
the event,
410
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:02,357
and he told her
all about me.
411
00:15:02,357 --> 00:15:04,620
Wait, how do you know
Claire's professor?
412
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:07,362
Professor Phelps.
I met him in class.Mm.
413
00:15:07,362 --> 00:15:09,016
What the fuck
are you doing
in her class?
414
00:15:09,016 --> 00:15:11,018
Well, accepting
my other award.
415
00:15:11,018 --> 00:15:12,758
What other...
Why do I feel like I'm in
416
00:15:12,758 --> 00:15:15,457
the worst
Abbott and Costello
routine ever?
417
00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,285
No, that would be Who's on Chemo?
418
00:15:17,285 --> 00:15:19,983
When they gave me an award
for my portraiture of Roger,
419
00:15:19,983 --> 00:15:22,333
they also gave
Roger an award.
420
00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:24,161
Why?
421
00:15:24,161 --> 00:15:26,729
I was the
entire inspiration
for her art.
422
00:15:26,729 --> 00:15:29,036
If she gets an award,
so should I.
423
00:15:29,036 --> 00:15:32,561
Oh, yeah, I think Mona Lisa
kept her trophies
right next to da Vinci's.
424
00:15:32,561 --> 00:15:33,910
All right, I get it.
425
00:15:33,910 --> 00:15:35,607
For a while, I thought
it was ridiculous too.
426
00:15:35,607 --> 00:15:37,435
But Phelpsy said
it was for a good cause.
427
00:15:37,435 --> 00:15:38,959
Wait, you call him
Phelpsy?
428
00:15:38,959 --> 00:15:41,352
Yeah, yeah. He called me
a couple of times today.
429
00:15:41,352 --> 00:15:43,659
That guy is a nutter.
[LAUGHS]
430
00:15:43,659 --> 00:15:45,182
Anyway, I know it's silly.
431
00:15:45,182 --> 00:15:46,749
But being honored
and, you know,
432
00:15:46,749 --> 00:15:48,185
being first-row fancy again,
433
00:15:48,185 --> 00:15:49,752
it's kind of pumped up
my ego.
434
00:15:49,752 --> 00:15:51,232
Oh, you see?
435
00:15:51,232 --> 00:15:53,669
That is exactly how they
treat me at the casino.
436
00:15:53,669 --> 00:15:55,540
Well, yeah,
lose any more
money there,
437
00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:57,978
and they'll probably give you
front-row seats to Carrot Top.
438
00:15:57,978 --> 00:15:59,327
Oh, great.
That's really,
really great.
439
00:15:59,327 --> 00:16:01,242
Well, Carrot Top
doesn't perform there.
440
00:16:01,242 --> 00:16:03,026
Screech does.Who?
441
00:16:03,026 --> 00:16:04,985
Motherfucker.
Screech. Huh?
442
00:16:06,073 --> 00:16:08,118
From Saved by the Bell.
443
00:16:08,118 --> 00:16:10,381
I thought he only
did porn now.
444
00:16:10,381 --> 00:16:12,644
He does some porn,
but that doesn't define him.
445
00:16:12,644 --> 00:16:14,603
Anyway, the good news is that
446
00:16:14,603 --> 00:16:16,431
I've got an extra seat
for you, Loudermilk.
447
00:16:17,780 --> 00:16:19,564
For Loudermilk?
What about me?
448
00:16:19,564 --> 00:16:20,826
Hmm, what?
449
00:16:20,826 --> 00:16:22,089
Well, it's because
of my drawing
450
00:16:22,089 --> 00:16:23,829
that all of this
is happening,
451
00:16:23,829 --> 00:16:26,658
so shouldn't I get some
of the big-shot perks?
452
00:16:26,658 --> 00:16:29,357
Aw, sorry.
I was only given
a plus-one.
453
00:16:29,357 --> 00:16:32,534
And Loudermilk's been
in such a pitiful,
miserable slump recently,
454
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:34,927
I thought it'd be nice for him
to be treated like a VIP
455
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:37,104
by association
for one night.
456
00:16:37,104 --> 00:16:38,931
Fuck off.
457
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:43,023
Maybe I'll just go to Ben's
video poker lose-off instead.
458
00:16:43,023 --> 00:16:45,329
Oh, well, I guess
you're stuck with me,
Roger.
459
00:16:45,329 --> 00:16:47,288
Wow, are they really
giving us front-row seats?
460
00:16:47,288 --> 00:16:49,072
That's what Arielle
said, yeah.Cool.
461
00:16:49,768 --> 00:16:51,292
Wait, did...
462
00:16:51,292 --> 00:16:53,598
Phelpsy's sister,
is that Arielle Phelps?
463
00:16:53,598 --> 00:16:55,035
Yep.
464
00:16:55,035 --> 00:16:56,949
She's a major fucking
music producer.
465
00:16:56,949 --> 00:16:58,255
Yeah, yeah, I know.
466
00:16:59,213 --> 00:17:00,779
They sending us a limo?
467
00:17:00,779 --> 00:17:02,129
Stretch, baby!
[CHUCKLES]
468
00:17:02,129 --> 00:17:05,132
We're back!
[IMITATES DRUMROLL]
469
00:17:05,132 --> 00:17:06,916
Whoo-hoo!
470
00:17:06,916 --> 00:17:09,005
♪ ♪
471
00:17:11,616 --> 00:17:13,531
All right, Tony,
since you're riding shotgun,
472
00:17:13,531 --> 00:17:16,665
your job is to look out for
the cops and to keep me awake.
473
00:17:16,665 --> 00:17:17,970
Aye, aye.
474
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,102
Hey, no stopping
except for gas.
475
00:17:19,102 --> 00:17:20,451
I'll take second shift.
476
00:17:20,451 --> 00:17:22,149
[CHUCKLES]
I got a empty milk jug
477
00:17:22,149 --> 00:17:23,889
in case anyone
needs to pee.
478
00:17:23,889 --> 00:17:26,762
Guys, the whole trip
is 16 motherfucking miles.
479
00:17:26,762 --> 00:17:28,938
Oh. I'm still gonna
need the milk jug.
480
00:17:28,938 --> 00:17:30,113
ED: Sorry.
481
00:17:30,113 --> 00:17:32,376
Ocupado.
482
00:17:32,376 --> 00:17:35,336
I cannot believe we've
never done a Hangover
road trip in my van.
483
00:17:35,336 --> 00:17:36,511
Wait, which of us
is which?
484
00:17:36,511 --> 00:17:37,860
Huh?
485
00:17:37,860 --> 00:17:39,340
Like, Hangover.
Who's who?
486
00:17:39,340 --> 00:17:40,906
I'm Bradley Cooper.
487
00:17:40,906 --> 00:17:42,865
Forget it, inchworm.
You're no Bradley Cooper.
488
00:17:42,865 --> 00:17:44,040
Why not?
489
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,563
Because Bradley Cooper
isn't shaped
490
00:17:45,563 --> 00:17:47,913
like he's got wet dog turds
in his pockets.
491
00:17:47,913 --> 00:17:50,264
Okay, look.
Besides, I'm the one
in the tournament,
492
00:17:50,264 --> 00:17:51,874
which makes me
the ringleader,
493
00:17:51,874 --> 00:17:53,919
which makes me
the Bradley Cooper,
okay?
494
00:17:53,919 --> 00:17:55,965
Hey, was Bradley Cooper
even the ringleader
in Hangover?
495
00:17:55,965 --> 00:17:57,923
I think so. I mean,
he was the most handsome.
496
00:17:57,923 --> 00:17:59,360
Okay, then I'm
the dentist guy.
497
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,275
No, you're definitely
the bearded fuckup guy.
498
00:18:01,275 --> 00:18:03,712
Oh, my God, you think
I look like Zach Galifianakis?
499
00:18:03,712 --> 00:18:06,062
Hey, yo, who am I?Mike Tyson, duh.
500
00:18:06,062 --> 00:18:07,411
Why, 'cause I'm black?
501
00:18:07,411 --> 00:18:10,153
No, uh...
Because you like pigeons?
502
00:18:10,153 --> 00:18:12,547
Oh, how 'bout
I come over there and chew
your fucking ear off?
503
00:18:12,547 --> 00:18:13,939
Guys, guys, come on.
Focus, focus.
504
00:18:13,939 --> 00:18:15,724
We got 16 hard miles
ahead of us.
505
00:18:15,724 --> 00:18:17,639
In.Let's go. Hustle up.
506
00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:20,163
♪ ♪
507
00:18:22,948 --> 00:18:25,864
Thanks for swinging me
an extra ticket, dude.
This is sick.
508
00:18:25,864 --> 00:18:27,257
Yeah, no problem.
509
00:18:27,257 --> 00:18:28,998
I've never even been
on a red carpet before.
510
00:18:28,998 --> 00:18:30,652
That was incredible.
511
00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:32,044
That was incredible,
all right.
512
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,698
What?
513
00:18:33,698 --> 00:18:35,787
I've never seen anyone
eat up applause like that,
514
00:18:35,787 --> 00:18:37,702
and I've been
to a Morrissey concert.
515
00:18:37,702 --> 00:18:39,965
What are you talking about?
It was perfectly dignified.
516
00:18:39,965 --> 00:18:41,619
You bowed and curtsied.
517
00:18:41,619 --> 00:18:44,405
Yeah, well, I'm British.
It's called class, fuckface.
518
00:18:44,405 --> 00:18:46,494
Well, whatever you say,
Sir Roger.
519
00:18:48,148 --> 00:18:50,150
What exactly are they
honoring you for?
520
00:18:51,499 --> 00:18:52,543
Bravery.
521
00:18:54,241 --> 00:18:56,112
What brave thing did you do
to get this award?
522
00:18:57,548 --> 00:18:59,463
Well, you know...
523
00:19:00,856 --> 00:19:03,032
I mean, it's not just
one thing, is it?
524
00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:08,472
Don't fucking
ruin this for me,
Loudermilk.
525
00:19:10,126 --> 00:19:11,954
Okay.
[MUMBLES]
526
00:19:11,954 --> 00:19:13,608
Sorry.
You're right.
527
00:19:13,608 --> 00:19:15,958
This is your big night,
and you should enjoy this.
528
00:19:18,569 --> 00:19:21,311
Be brave.Oh, shut up.
529
00:19:21,311 --> 00:19:23,705
[DOWNBEAT MUSIC]
530
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:26,838
It was 16 miles. How the fuck
could you run out of gas?
531
00:19:26,838 --> 00:19:28,362
Are you fucking kidding me?
532
00:19:28,362 --> 00:19:31,234
Hey, this van
has a 429 big block.
533
00:19:31,234 --> 00:19:32,844
She's not made
for mileage.
534
00:19:32,844 --> 00:19:34,498
This bitch
is about horsepower.
535
00:19:34,498 --> 00:19:37,371
Horsepower? This bitch didn't
get over 40 miles per hour.
536
00:19:37,371 --> 00:19:39,024
Because I'm trying
to conserve gas.
537
00:19:39,024 --> 00:19:40,678
Oh, so you knew
we were low on gas.
538
00:19:40,678 --> 00:19:42,289
I told you that
at the beginning.
539
00:19:42,289 --> 00:19:43,986
Oh, no, you didn't.
You never said that, never.
540
00:19:43,986 --> 00:19:45,509
Tony was the copilot.
541
00:19:45,509 --> 00:19:47,032
You should've been watching
the gas gauges.
542
00:19:47,032 --> 00:19:48,817
What? I was instructed
to look out for cops,
543
00:19:48,817 --> 00:19:50,471
not the fucking
gas gauge.
544
00:19:50,471 --> 00:19:51,907
Mugsy should've
been looking
at the gauges.
545
00:19:51,907 --> 00:19:53,778
I don't look at the gauges.
I'm the pilot.
546
00:19:53,778 --> 00:19:55,389
I'm watching for seagulls
to make sure
547
00:19:55,389 --> 00:19:56,868
they don't fly
into the engine!
548
00:19:56,868 --> 00:19:58,218
Oh, well, thank you,
Sully Sullenberger.
549
00:19:58,218 --> 00:19:59,784
Not a Jew.What?
550
00:19:59,784 --> 00:20:01,525
Just saying,
Sullenberger
is not a Jew.
551
00:20:01,525 --> 00:20:03,135
I never said
he was a Jew.
552
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:04,833
And tell me something.
How is that not
a Jewish name?
553
00:20:04,833 --> 00:20:06,487
It's a Jewish name and his
name is probably Sullivan
554
00:20:06,487 --> 00:20:08,097
and he changed it
to sound more exotic.
555
00:20:08,097 --> 00:20:10,360
You know what?
Fuck you all, okay?
556
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:11,927
Because of your stupidity,
557
00:20:11,927 --> 00:20:14,408
I'm the one who doesn't get
to play in the tournament.
558
00:20:14,408 --> 00:20:16,061
You would've
probably lost anyway.
559
00:20:16,061 --> 00:20:17,324
Okay, well,
then I would've
had fun losing.
560
00:20:17,324 --> 00:20:18,586
This isn't fun.
561
00:20:18,586 --> 00:20:19,935
It's your fault
I wasted a Friday night.
562
00:20:19,935 --> 00:20:21,719
I could've been home
watching Keith Morrison.
563
00:20:21,719 --> 00:20:22,807
Who's that?
564
00:20:22,807 --> 00:20:24,809
Keith Morrison
from Dateline.
565
00:20:24,809 --> 00:20:26,550
See, that's your problem.
It's Friday night,
you're at home
566
00:20:26,550 --> 00:20:28,160
watching a network
news show.
567
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,727
Oh, it's a news magazine.What's the difference?
568
00:20:29,727 --> 00:20:31,425
It's a huge fucking
difference!
569
00:20:31,425 --> 00:20:32,600
There's no
fucking difference!Oh, it's huge!
570
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,428
Everybody just stop it,
all right?
571
00:20:34,428 --> 00:20:37,735
Everybody just stop
blaming each other, jeez!
572
00:20:37,735 --> 00:20:41,043
Yeah, Cloud's right.
It's nobody's fault.
573
00:20:41,043 --> 00:20:42,610
Except for Mugsy and Tony.
574
00:20:42,610 --> 00:20:44,351
You should've been watching
the goddamn gas gauge!
575
00:20:44,351 --> 00:20:45,569
Oh, yeah?
Why weren't you
watching it?
576
00:20:45,569 --> 00:20:47,832
Because I was
in the lavatory.
577
00:20:47,832 --> 00:20:48,920
Oh.Goddamn.
578
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,922
Damn.Shit, man.
579
00:20:52,402 --> 00:20:53,577
Hey.Oh, hi.
580
00:20:53,577 --> 00:20:54,883
How you feeling?
581
00:20:54,883 --> 00:20:56,276
Okay, I guess.
582
00:20:56,276 --> 00:20:59,583
Okay, well, just relax.
You're gonna do great.
583
00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:00,932
I'm gonna go introduce you.
584
00:21:00,932 --> 00:21:02,282
Okay.Good luck out there.
585
00:21:05,546 --> 00:21:07,069
Hey, I'm Dave.
586
00:21:07,069 --> 00:21:09,550
I just wanted to introduce
myself to a fellow Bravie.
587
00:21:09,550 --> 00:21:11,900
Nice to meet you.
588
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:14,076
Out of curiosity,
what are you getting
your award for?
589
00:21:14,076 --> 00:21:16,600
Oh, nothing big.Me neither.
590
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,517
Yeah, I just ran
into a burning school
and saved a bunch of kids.
591
00:21:20,517 --> 00:21:22,606
Well, who wouldn't have
done the same, right?
592
00:21:22,606 --> 00:21:26,306
[CHUCKLES]Oh, wow.
593
00:21:26,306 --> 00:21:27,568
So you're a fireman.
594
00:21:27,568 --> 00:21:30,179
No.
595
00:21:30,179 --> 00:21:32,964
ARIELLE: And an opportunity
to shine a spotlight
on the best, the brightest,
596
00:21:32,964 --> 00:21:36,620
and the most heroic
citizens of Seattle.
597
00:21:36,620 --> 00:21:38,666
[APPLAUSE]
598
00:21:38,666 --> 00:21:42,322
And so it is my great honor,
my privilege,
599
00:21:42,322 --> 00:21:46,369
to welcome a wonderful man,
an incomparable human being,
600
00:21:46,369 --> 00:21:49,633
an awesome drummer,
a true trailblazer...
601
00:21:49,633 --> 00:21:51,679
Laying it on
a little thick,
isn't she?
602
00:21:51,679 --> 00:21:53,637
She's just being courteous.
Don't be a dick.
603
00:21:53,637 --> 00:21:55,639
Esteemed guests,
please join with me
604
00:21:55,639 --> 00:21:59,164
in giving a warm welcome
to Roger Frostly.
605
00:21:59,164 --> 00:22:02,037
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
606
00:22:10,175 --> 00:22:11,612
Thank you.
607
00:22:11,612 --> 00:22:13,527
Thank you so much.
608
00:22:13,527 --> 00:22:16,094
But... But please, sit down.
I don't deserve this.
609
00:22:16,094 --> 00:22:17,966
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE LOUDEN]
610
00:22:17,966 --> 00:22:20,490
Please. Sit...
611
00:22:21,230 --> 00:22:22,753
Down.
612
00:22:25,582 --> 00:22:27,279
[CHUCKLES]
613
00:22:27,279 --> 00:22:30,413
That wasn't a false modesty
trick for more applause.
614
00:22:30,413 --> 00:22:32,894
[LAUGHTER]Although nice to know
for the future that it works.
615
00:22:32,894 --> 00:22:34,678
[LAUGHTER]
616
00:22:34,678 --> 00:22:36,071
Seriously, though...
617
00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:40,902
I don't deserve
an award for bravery
618
00:22:40,902 --> 00:22:42,294
or anything, really.
619
00:22:43,861 --> 00:22:46,168
Last night, I wrote
an acceptance speech,
620
00:22:46,168 --> 00:22:48,213
a rather self-serving one
621
00:22:48,213 --> 00:22:50,694
where I was only too happy
to keep the blinders on
622
00:22:50,694 --> 00:22:53,480
and lap up
more ego-stroking praise.
623
00:22:55,569 --> 00:22:58,746
And I do appreciate
the gesture behind this.
624
00:22:58,746 --> 00:23:00,400
It was well-meaning.
625
00:23:02,227 --> 00:23:04,491
But giving me an award
626
00:23:04,491 --> 00:23:08,190
just for being disabled is
627
00:23:08,190 --> 00:23:12,107
unfortunately designed
only to make you feel good...
628
00:23:12,107 --> 00:23:14,370
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
629
00:23:14,370 --> 00:23:17,329
While it makes me feel
pretty lousy.
630
00:23:19,941 --> 00:23:23,423
Because it tells me how low
your expectations are for me.
631
00:23:24,554 --> 00:23:26,730
Like I should get an award
632
00:23:26,730 --> 00:23:29,080
for brushing my teeth
or something with these arms.
633
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,388
Well, something I used to do
about a dozen times a day
634
00:23:32,388 --> 00:23:34,303
to keep the smell
of booze off my breath.
635
00:23:34,303 --> 00:23:35,826
[LAUGHTER]
636
00:23:35,826 --> 00:23:38,307
No, not a joke.
637
00:23:39,743 --> 00:23:41,528
I'm an alcoholic.
638
00:23:41,528 --> 00:23:44,792
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
639
00:23:44,792 --> 00:23:46,968
I've been sober
for a little while now.
640
00:23:49,187 --> 00:23:52,016
But I spent a large part
of my life escaping with booze
641
00:23:52,016 --> 00:23:53,801
and a whole lot more.
642
00:23:53,801 --> 00:23:58,196
And there's nothing heroic
about that.
643
00:23:58,196 --> 00:23:59,633
But tonight?
644
00:24:01,286 --> 00:24:04,028
This is just inspiration porn.
645
00:24:04,028 --> 00:24:06,030
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
646
00:24:07,989 --> 00:24:12,297
Stella Young,
an Australian activist,
coined that phrase.
647
00:24:12,297 --> 00:24:13,777
Yeah, porn.
648
00:24:15,213 --> 00:24:17,389
Because it's all about
objectifying
649
00:24:17,389 --> 00:24:20,044
people like me and her so that
you can say to each other,
650
00:24:20,044 --> 00:24:22,960
"Oh, my life might suck,
but it could be worse.
651
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,049
"Just look at the bloke
with short arms."
652
00:24:26,921 --> 00:24:28,749
But I'm just as much
to blame as you.
653
00:24:30,881 --> 00:24:32,579
So I feel uncomfortable too.
654
00:24:34,972 --> 00:24:38,802
I fooled myself into believing
that I deserved this award
for my music.
655
00:24:40,848 --> 00:24:44,286
And the truth is,
I'm a good drummer.
656
00:24:44,286 --> 00:24:45,809
But I'm not a great one.
657
00:24:49,770 --> 00:24:52,120
So I'm sorry.
658
00:24:52,120 --> 00:24:54,644
But I can't accept
your Bravie award.
659
00:24:54,644 --> 00:24:56,341
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
660
00:24:58,430 --> 00:25:00,171
I know one thing, though.
661
00:25:00,171 --> 00:25:03,697
The next guy coming onstage
definitely deserves it.
662
00:25:03,697 --> 00:25:04,915
Dave.
663
00:25:04,915 --> 00:25:07,352
[AUDIENCE WHISPERING]
664
00:25:07,352 --> 00:25:09,441
[APPLAUSE]
665
00:25:14,229 --> 00:25:17,406
Thank you so much, Roger.
666
00:25:17,406 --> 00:25:18,538
Wow.
667
00:25:19,887 --> 00:25:22,106
How's that for
raw honesty, huh?
668
00:25:22,106 --> 00:25:23,281
Amazing.
669
00:25:23,281 --> 00:25:25,414
[APPLAUSE]
670
00:25:32,029 --> 00:25:33,465
So...
671
00:25:34,858 --> 00:25:36,860
It's inspired me
to be honest too.
672
00:25:40,690 --> 00:25:43,519
I didn't really
save those kids
from the burning school.
673
00:25:43,519 --> 00:25:45,390
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
674
00:25:45,390 --> 00:25:47,305
I guess I did, but...
675
00:25:49,699 --> 00:25:51,527
I also set the fire.
676
00:25:51,527 --> 00:25:53,181
[AUDIENCE GASPS]
677
00:25:53,181 --> 00:25:56,314
I know. It's bad.
678
00:25:58,012 --> 00:26:00,362
But I did it to be a hero.
679
00:26:00,362 --> 00:26:02,407
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
680
00:26:02,407 --> 00:26:06,281
I guess that should take away
some of the points.
681
00:26:06,281 --> 00:26:07,978
Fuck!
682
00:26:07,978 --> 00:26:10,111
I should've accepted
that award.
683
00:26:10,111 --> 00:26:13,114
[LAID-BACK ROCK MUSIC]
684
00:26:13,114 --> 00:26:16,944
♪ ♪
685
00:26:16,944 --> 00:26:17,945
Hey.
686
00:26:20,469 --> 00:26:22,906
[SIGHS]
There you are.
687
00:26:22,906 --> 00:26:24,386
Hey.
688
00:26:24,386 --> 00:26:25,779
Where's Loudermilk?
689
00:26:25,779 --> 00:26:29,391
Downstairs talking music
with Arielle Phelps.
690
00:26:29,391 --> 00:26:30,740
Mm.
691
00:26:32,307 --> 00:26:33,961
You know,
692
00:26:33,961 --> 00:26:37,660
I'm sorry if I came across
as patronizing when I drew you
693
00:26:37,660 --> 00:26:38,966
and gave you wings.
694
00:26:40,097 --> 00:26:41,664
You did.I know.
695
00:26:43,492 --> 00:26:45,276
Just trying to apologize here.
696
00:26:47,844 --> 00:26:49,672
Oh, fuck it.
697
00:26:49,672 --> 00:26:52,588
You're just a kid.
You didn't know any better.
698
00:26:52,588 --> 00:26:54,459
Now who's
being patronizing?
699
00:26:57,158 --> 00:26:58,986
You know,
your speech was great.
700
00:26:58,986 --> 00:27:00,988
But some of it was bullshit.
701
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:03,817
What are you talking about?
702
00:27:03,817 --> 00:27:06,733
I get it. No one should
objectify anyone
703
00:27:06,733 --> 00:27:08,952
or give a disabled person
an award
704
00:27:08,952 --> 00:27:10,911
just for making a sandwich.
705
00:27:10,911 --> 00:27:13,653
But what's wrong
with acknowledging someone
706
00:27:13,653 --> 00:27:16,351
who has to overcome
a bit more adversity
every day?
707
00:27:18,135 --> 00:27:20,572
Well, yeah.
708
00:27:20,572 --> 00:27:23,184
But acknowledgement
isn't about getting awards.
709
00:27:24,489 --> 00:27:25,839
It's about acceptance.
710
00:27:28,450 --> 00:27:31,192
And maybe a little help
sometimes.
711
00:27:31,192 --> 00:27:32,628
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
712
00:27:32,628 --> 00:27:34,456
Ah, what the hell?
713
00:27:34,456 --> 00:27:36,240
I did invent
the trombone stick.
714
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,286
I should definitely
get a Grammy for that, right?
715
00:27:38,286 --> 00:27:39,766
[IMITATES TROMBONE]
716
00:27:39,766 --> 00:27:41,028
[LAUGHS]
717
00:27:43,421 --> 00:27:44,422
Hug?
718
00:27:49,079 --> 00:27:51,865
[ALLAH-LAHS' HIGH & DRYPLAYS]
719
00:27:51,865 --> 00:27:55,738
♪ Standing right
in front of me
720
00:27:57,740 --> 00:28:01,439
♪ What do you see
721
00:28:01,439 --> 00:28:05,661
♪ Bark right off
the family tree
722
00:28:07,445 --> 00:28:11,101
♪ And pedigree
723
00:28:11,101 --> 00:28:15,410
♪ Living foggy clarity
724
00:28:17,455 --> 00:28:21,242
♪ Naturally
725
00:28:21,242 --> 00:28:25,725
♪ Give me
what you've taken back
726
00:28:27,074 --> 00:28:29,685
♪ I'll never leave
727
00:28:32,253 --> 00:28:34,734
♪ High and dry
728
00:28:37,171 --> 00:28:39,869
♪ What'd I find
729
00:28:42,437 --> 00:28:45,570
♪ You might love me... ♪