I'm a giant fuck-up.
I'm sorry, Cap.
LOUDERMILK: 2011, Lizzie Poole puts out her debut album,
and I write a really bad review of it.
One bad review and you just quit?
I felt like a failure!
Please, leave me alone!
Cup of coffee?
[SOFT ROCK]
♪ ♪
You ever tried yerba mate?
No, I keep hearing about it, though.
Yeah, you should try it.
It's... It's a serious mood enhancer.
Why?
Do I look like I need my mood enhanced?
No, I... I do.
It, uh, gives me a little bump.
Makes me feel kind of the opposite of miserable.
You mean happy?
Ish.
Yeah.
Can I help you, sir?
Uh, yeah, can I get a latte grande
and a large cup of hot water, please.
I have my own teabags.
Oh, I'm sorry. We don't serve hot water.
Well, I'm happy to pay for the cup.
Just charge me a corkage fee.
I can't.
It's against our store policy to serve hot water.
Why?
Well, someone can throw it in somebody else's face.
Well, I can get tea, right?
Okay, so just get me the tea,
and don't put the teabags in there.
No, I'd have to put the teabags in the tea.
Okay, so I have my own teabags.
It's yerba mate 'cause you guys don't carry it.
So how about I give them to you,
and then you could put them in.
I would really like to help you, sir,
but we just don't take teabags over the counter.
It's like they keep finding new ways to...
Okay, I could get black coffee, right?
Of course.
What's to keep me from throwing that in someone's face?
Are you threatening me, sir?No.
I'm ask... You said... You said I couldn't do the hot water.
Hot coffee is hot water with coffee in it.
Mmm, not the same.Why not?
I don't have to order it with cream, do I?
No.No, so it'd be hot. Like hot water.
Excuse me, I'm gonna get my manager.
Are you fucking kidding me, man?
Just give the guy a cup of hot water.
Okay.
Just this once though
'cause I'm not supposed to be doing this.
We appreciate you looking the other way, Schindler.
Thank you.
Geez.
[FRANZ FERDINAND'S STAND ON THE HORIZONPLAYS]
♪ ♪
I wanted to thank you for getting my guitar back.
Aww, you're welcome.
That was way easier than I expected it to be.
Well, thanks.
It was very nice of you.
That accent, that's not from around here, right?
Illinois, originally.
Ah, what part?Rock Island.
Yeah, of Quad Cities, right?
Yeah, um, 3 Years Hollow is from there.
Great videos.Yeah, they're awesome.
It took a lot for you to own up to what you did,
to come and look me up and everything.
I respect that. That's maturity.
And now I have to be mature,
and let you know that
everything that happened to me, that wasn't all you.
It couldn't have been.
That review, it wouldn't have hurt my feelings so much
if I had have been where I was supposed to be.
I didn't have the confidence yet.
I wasn't ready.
Yes, you were. You were amazing.
No, if I was ready, it would've rolled off my shoulders.
It would've meant nothing.
There were other factors involved.
Many factors.
Things like I'm still coming to terms with.
So I'm sorry that I put that on you.
It wasn't fair.
All right, so the question is what are we gonna do about it?
What can we do? Forgive?
Forgiveness is nice,
but, you know, there's something better in redemption.
Lizzie, you blew my mind at Sounds and Grounds.
You're fucking great. You gotta get back out there.
You make it sound easier than it is.
You just take it one step at a time. It's like sobriety.
Sobriety's about quitting something.
This is about taking something on.
No, no, it's about being who you are.
That's the reason you're on this planet, right?
To be who you are?
Spoken like a yerba mate drinker.
All right, A, I just started drinking yerba mate,
and B, that was the most New Age thing I've ever said,
and I'm embarrassed.
But I stand by the sentiment.
You've got to get back on the horse.
I don't know.Yes, you do.
You're a fucking rock star, and everybody who hears you knows it.
And if you got off your ass,
you'd be exactly where you deserve to be.
Even if I wanted to play music again,
I don't have a band anymore.
I got one for you.
MUGSY: So how were things
down at the new office, little lady?
They're paying you as much as the guys, right?
Yeah, they're really cool, Dad.
I still have a lot to learn,
but everybody's very nice and helps me whenever they can.
I have two work friends now, Angelo and Monica.
Hmm!
So is there anybody that you need me to come down and beat up?
No, Dad.'Cause I'll do it.
I'll come right down to your office
and I will take care of business.
Doesn't matter man or woman.
I know how to adjust my stance based on gender.
Well, speaking of you coming by my work,
we're having this stupid, like, mixer thing
to build camaraderie or something.
I don't know, it's not really clear,
but everybody's bringing their spouse,
and since Mark is going out of town, I, um...
Wait, wait. Who's Mark again?
My boyfriend.Oh, that's right.
The ugly guy from all your photos.
Yeah, he's the one that...
What, you think he's ugly?
You were asking me something?
Well, since Ugly is going to be out of town,
I was thinking that maybe you could come with me to the party?
Yeah, yeah. That would be fun.
You don't have to.No, no.
I... I... Yeah. I... I wanna go. I wanna go.
So I... I... I don't... Do I bring anything?
Is there, like, a dress code?
I mean, yeah.
It's kind of fancy, so like a... Like a suit.
Ah, all right.
Well, I have... I have dress jeans,
I have a white shirt,
I have a, like, a boxy windbreaker
that might pass as a blazer, so...
Hmm, yeah. That works.
Or I can rent a tux.No, no, no.
Windbreaker, definitely.
Okay.
Well, then, windbreaker it is.
Thank you so much for doing this.
You know, it really means a lot.
Are you freaking kidding me?
I'm the lucky one here.
Well, I will see you tomorrow.
Yes, you will.In your windbreaker suit.
So you do want me to rent a tux.
No, no, no. I demand the windbreaker.
Okay, I will be in my windbreaker.
Hey, I'm really excited about this, hon.
Yeah, me too.
It's the first time I've been able to discern
joy from anxiety in, like, five years.
[DOOR OPENS]
That's a good thing, right?
You're gonna call me that Vuber or not?
BEN: I did call. It should be there in, like, five minutes or something.
Yeah, you said that 15 minutes ago.
I don't understand the point of an estimate
if it has no basis in reality.
Did you move from your spot?No, I'm standing here...
Never mind. I gotta go.
I've got Slim Jims and Coca-Cola in the back,
four bucks a pop.
Charlie?
Tony?
Hey, what's up, Loudermilk?
What the...
Hey, Loudermilk, you're my 100th customer.
You're driving a Vuber?
I'm going straight, man.
Just trying to make an honest living.
No more illegal shit for me.
You mean except the part where you're an unlicensed livery driver?
Don't worry about it. I've got my foot on the gas and my hand on the wheel.
What?
Why aren't you in the driver's seat?
'Cause I lost my license when I got my last DUI.
Charlie doesn't have a license either!
Yeah, well, I figured the cops would go
a hell of a lot easier on him than on me.
Why are you even driving a Vuber? I thought you were a bookie.
I've been having some short-term cash flow problems,
and with Vuber, I can be my own boss.
You're not already your own boss?
I'm a slave to the NFL. You know I work every Sunday?
All right, Charlie, you can't let him do this, okay?
He's using you.
Don't worry, snowflake, I'm being well-compensated.
All right, eyes on the road!
I told you, I'm driving.
All right, well, you eyes on the road then.
God damn it. It's like a bad puppet show.
Pull over!
We still have two miles to go to our destination.
I don't care. I don't care.
Pull over. I don't feel safe.
And who are you? The Vuber police?
Pull over!
Unfortunately, we're gonna have to charge you
a cancellation fee.
Fine, fine.
You ableist piece of shit!
No, I don't want to ride with you
because you told me you're legally blind.
Legally blind is not Stevie Wonder blind.
It just means shit is very blurry.
And you've got a bottle of bourbon in your lap.
I've just had a few nips.
I've got to take the edge off
because this greaseball keeps yanking the wheel from me.
I wasn't yanking, I was correcting.
Make sure you give me five stars
because I need to get my rating up.
Oh, I can't... Ben ordered the Vuber from his phone.
Mine doesn't do apps.
Who the fuck has a phone that don't do apps?
Tell fatass I want five stars!
I'm not sure this was a five-star experience, Charlie.
Five fucking stars, asshole!
Don't fuck us, Loudermilk.
[SOFT MUSIC]
♪ ♪
Hey, Felix.
Good news, I was just in a coffee shop
that had a bigger asshole than you.
Huh, let me guess,
he wouldn't cave to your ridiculous demands.
Let me ask you a question.
If someone comes in here
with their own yerba mate tea bags,
do you give them hot water?
No.Why not?
Because we carry yerba mate.
I don't want people bringing their own teabags in here.
Fuck that.
You carry yerba mate?
So you know it's a natural mood enhancer, right?
Look, anyway, do you remember the girl that dumped coffee
on my head a couple of weeks ago?
Lizzie Poole?Yes.
She needs a band, and I think you guys are perfect for her.
Why would I wanna do that?
I read your review of her record.
You said she was terrible.
Oh, fucking internet.
Does anything go away anymore?
What do you care about the review?
You saw her play right there. She's fucking amazing.
Oh, so... So you're admitting you were wrong.
Yeah, I was horribly wrong.
I... I was fucked up, and I missed the boat on that one.
Wow, man.
I'm... I am impressed with your ability
to admit you were once fallible.
It's not that soul crushing if I'm admitting it to you.
Oh, fuck you.
Listen, I'm trying to do you a favor, okay?
The girl is world-class.
I'm giving you the opportunity to hitch your wagon to hers.
[SIGHS]
Okay, I'll do it...
Under one condition.
What?
Fire Claire from my band.What?
I... I need you to fire Claire from my band.
Why don't you fire Claire?
Not that easy.Really?
It's... It's just...
I don't wanna hurt her feelings, you know?
Okay, so you're saying that you'll back up Lizzie
if I fire Claire from your band?
Look, I... I know it's a lot to ask.
Claire, you're out of the band.
[CLICK]
What'd you say?You're out of the band.
What band?The Beatles.
What?You're out of your band.
Felix gave me the job to tell you.
What? That asshole!
Oh, come on. Be realistic.
You're not even a musician.
You're just doing this as a distraction.
If you were great at it, it'd be sad,
but you're not, so it isn't.
Yes, it is.
Claire, admit it.
You have way bigger dreams than that.
You're right, I do.
Like?
Well, fuck if I know. That's for you to figure out.
Did they really kick me out of the band?
Yeah, but the good news is, Lizzie Poole is replacing you.
What? Why her?
Yeah, that-that makes sense.
BEN: I'll tell you what,
that's the last time I order you a car.
The driver fucked my passenger rating,
gave me zero stars.
Zero stars?Yeah.
Yeah, that's about right.
Who wants to kick it off?
I'll go.Okay, Ed.
What do you got?
I was on a very nice date last night.
Aww, that's sweet.
With a sex worker I met online.
You mean a hooker.
No, no, they call themselves sex workers now.
But these are women who you pay for sex, right?
Okay, a hooker.
That's not a date.
No, it was because she was off-duty.
They go off-duty?Mm-hmm.
Well, of course.
Sex workers aren't sex workers 24 hours a day.
They're like doctors, they get time off.
TONY: But I thought sex workers, like doctors,
are always on call?
No, she can work whenever she wants,
and sometimes she chooses not to,
like when she's with me.
You know, it sounds like she really, really likes you.
You know, or she doesn't want to have sex with you.
Really, you have to shit in his cornflakes?
Oh, I'm very sorry, I thought we were talking about
a guy who was on a date with a hoo... Uh, prostitute.
Sex worker.Okay. Loudermilk?
No, um, I'll sit this one out.
You guys figure it out.
Oh, sorry.
Um, I, too, have something to share.
Thank God.
My daughter Cappy, she likes me again.
Well, I... I'm sure she's always liked you, Mugs.
Uh, now she really likes me.
She invited me to a party at her work tonight.
Hey!
That's very cool.
Wow, she's showing off the old man.
Yeah.
She's showing off her old man.
Well, you earned that, Mugs.
You put in the time, you did the work,
and now you get to see the results.
You've got a happy daughter.
And I got the happy hooker. [CHUCKLES]
So you want it spiky on top?
Uh, I don't know. Is that the style right now?
No, but I can do it.
No, no, no. Just give me whatever's normal.
Mm-hmm.
So what's the lovely lady's name?
How'd you know?
I've been doing this a long time.
A guy like you comes in to ask for short on the sides,
he's got a date.
Well, you nailed it.
Her name is Cappuccino, and she's...
Oh, she's a stripper. That's a stripper's name.
Oh, you're gonna do some real damage tonight.
Good for you.
No, it's my daughter.
My daughter. Daughter.
Step?
No!
Boy, this country has seen some real changes recently,
but that one just slipped by me.
[SIGHS] Congrats.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You, like, think this is incest or something?
No!
I'm escorting my daughter to her job function.
Oh, that's real sweet of you. You sound like a good dad.
No, I'm the definition of a bad dad.
[CHUCKLES] No, I'm sure you aren't.
As long as you weren't a drunk or abandoned them, you're fine.
Just those two.
What kind of flowers you bringing her?
Invisible.
Hey, this is your daughter.
I mean, a daughter's first love is her father.
You've got to treat her like a queen.
Pick up some flowers. It'll change her whole night.
All right.
I... I... I appreciate the advice.
You sound like you're not so shabby a father yourself.
Yeah, I've only got the one son and he hates me.
I'm sorry.
It's because of what happened to his mother on the boat.
What... What happened?
Depends who you ask.
We were out on Lake Pend Oreille...
Dad, no.
Yeah, yeah!
[LIGHT MUSIC]
♪ ♪
Hey, hey!
Come on! I'm... I'm one minute late.
Please!
Okay. All right.
All right, thank you.
Any day now. Any day.
Could you walk slower?
Okay, okay, thank you. Thank you.
You walked all the way over here to do that?
Come on! Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, turn around and look at my birds!
Ah, shit.
[SOFT MUSIC]
They're the stupidest thing ever, right?
I never understood why anyone would want a listening party
in the first place, right?
'Cause if your album's great...
If it's original, fresh, new,
it's not going to sound good the first time.
I won't allow it unless it's just the people
who worked on the record, who already know it.
Remember the first time you listened to Radiohead
or Dark Side of the Moon.
Arcade Fire.
Okay, first time I heard Funeral,
it was like, "What the fuck is this?"
You know, and after the sixth, seventh, eighth listen,
it's, "Oh, it's fucking genius."
Yeah, the great stuff, your brain has to get used to
because it's not wired for it yet,
or on the other hand if it's average or not original,
it might sound good at first.
Yeah, so that's my litmus test now,
is, you know, if I like it on the first listen
then it's probably only so good.
♪ You can do anything that you want
Got this really weird feeling right now.
I don't know what's gonna happen with us,
but I feel like I'm gonna know you for the rest of my life.
♪ You can do ♪
I hope you're right.
I'm usually not.
Either way, I'll survive.
♪ ♪
[JAZZY MUSIC]
♪ ♪
Hey, sweetie.Hi!
Hey.
Uh, flowers for madam?
Thank... Thank you.Yeah.
Uh, Monica, Angelo, this is my dad Winston.
Mugsy, Mugsy. Everybody calls me Mugsy.
And you must be Monica.
Huh? [CHUCKLES]
Just goofing. Here, put 'er there.
Hello.How are you?
Yeah, good. And hello, young lady.
Hello. Hi.[CHUCKLES]
Wait, lady. Is that un-PC now?
Sorry. If so, let's go like that.
Hmm! Nice and official.
Hate to hug you,
and then have you say all kinds
of weird things about me online.
I wouldn't want to get on that Snap-Face, you know,
and go, "Oh, no, I didn't mean any of that!"
It's nice to meet you, Mr. Bennigan.
Mr. Bennigan was my father.
In fact, he was, uh, prisoner Bennigan.
[CHUCKLES] Playing.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
Hey, I'm late to the party.
You guys were gib-gabbing about something.
Oh, yes, Monica just brought a brand-new condo.
Yes, I did.
It's three blocks from Pike Place, and there's...
Hey, I used to teach martial arts in a home just like yours.
Oh.
It was a very serious form of combat called, uh,
Tai-condo.
You know what? Let's get you some water.
Oh, okay.We'll be back.
I guess we're thirsty.Okay, yeah.
Let's go, Dad. Let's go.
Uh, save our place.
What the...Fuck was that?
[BOTH SIGH]
Hi, uh, two club sodas, please.
Sure.Hey, they were nice.
Dad, I was wondering if we could maybe tone it down a bit?
What do you mean?
You know, like the jokes and stuff.
It's just... It's not really that kind of office.
Really? Okay, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
So you don't want me to pull out the rubber chicken?
Uh, no.I'll do it.
No!Okay, okay.
I get it. This is not like a fun company.
No, it is, but I'm still kind of new,
and I really want to make a good impression.
Okay, okay.
I hear you, babe.
Okay. [CHUCKLES]
So if I heard you right,
the account holder is liable
for any variables that may occur?
Yes, and they act as if we should be reimbursing them.
Well, that sounds prudent.
Well, I don't know about prudent,
but it is bonkers, that's for sure.
So what do you do, Mugsy?
Winston.
Well, I'm a certified technician.
What kind of technician? Dental?
Pest control industry.
So you're an exterminator.
In layman's terms.
Uh, when I was younger, he used to be a builder.
Oh.I was a contractor.
Worked for a contractor until my knees gave out.
Not that I'm complaining.
I'm just happy he's working again.
That's sweet. Dad's second act.
You were there for her and now you're there for him.
So how are you liking it here, Cappy?
It's really great. Actually, everyone's so nice,
and I've learned a lot being here.
WOMAN: Amazing. That's good to hear.Yeah.
What'd you do for work before?
I actually just graduated not that long ago.Excuse me.
[SOFT MUSIC]
Another soda water.Yeah, please.
[WATER HISSES]
You know what? Make it a vodka.
Any particular vodka?Yeah, the nearest one.
Straight up.
And make it a double.
♪ ♪
[PHONE BEEPS]
[LINE TRILLING]
[PANTING, MOANING]
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
LIZZIE: I think that's you.
LOUDERMILK: Uh, um, don't worry about it.
[LINE TRILLING]
[INHALES DEEPLY]
Fuck it.
[PANTS]
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Another vodka double on the double.
♪ ♪
[SLURPS]
[SOMBER MUSIC]
♪ ♪
Mmm.
♪ ♪
Me first, me first.
Um, I'm gonna have another, uh, double vodka.
And I know it's quick, but I spilled the last one
down my throat.
[SOFT ROCK MUSIC]
♪ ♪
[MUGSY GROANS]
Hey, man. You all right?
Oh, Cappuccino.
Cappuccino!
Uh, you doing okay, man?[COUGHS]
I... I don't think they have that.
How about a coffee?
Cappy!
Okay.
Cappy!
Cappy, your dad is really drunk in the bathroom.
Excuse me, everyone.
[MUGSY GROANING]
[COUGHING]Dad, are you okay?
Cappy.
Cappy!Okay.
I wanted to do good for you.
It's okay, Dad.
Come on. Let's go, let's go.
Are you mad at me?
No, I'm not mad at all,
but, uh, we've got to go out the back way, okay?
[MUGSY SOBS]Let's go.
Are you mad at me?No, I'm not mad.
I'm not mad.
I'm not mad at all, but we have to go, okay?
Let's go.
What the fuck?Let's go.
[GENTLE MUSIC]
♪ ♪
[GROANS]
[PHONE BEEPS]
[LINE TRILLING]
[TEXT CHIME]
[SOBS]
[SOFT MUSIC]
♪ ♪
♪ Now boy
♪ Please stop crying
♪ Now boy
♪ Please stop crying
♪ And when the day
♪ Runs 'round in circles
♪ And you feel you can't go on
♪ Just stop, I'll sing you a song
♪ But please, please don't cry
♪ Tonight ♪