1 00:00:09,232 --> 00:00:11,856 ( theme music playing ) 2 00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:46,731 Sorry about that. What do I owe you? 3 00:00:48,023 --> 00:00:50,315 Uh, 22.42. 4 00:00:50,315 --> 00:00:51,606 For one pizza? 5 00:00:51,606 --> 00:00:53,898 ( laughs ) By God. 6 00:00:53,898 --> 00:00:55,856 Better be goddamn delicious. 7 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,232 Um, one second. 8 00:01:04,357 --> 00:01:07,232 Come on, wallet. 9 00:01:07,232 --> 00:01:10,689 I'm sorry, you could come in and shut the door. It's freezing out there. 10 00:01:24,273 --> 00:01:27,232 ( sighs ) I'm sorry. Stupid wallet. What's your name? 11 00:01:27,232 --> 00:01:29,481 - Jarod. - Jarod. 12 00:01:29,481 --> 00:01:32,523 I am such a nincompoop. ( chuckles ) 13 00:01:32,523 --> 00:01:36,315 So, you probably got, like, a hundred pizzas in the car that need delivering, right? 14 00:01:39,107 --> 00:01:42,856 Uh, no, it's fine. Just, you know, need to get back when I can. 15 00:01:42,856 --> 00:01:45,689 Man: Right. Come on, wallet. No! 16 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:51,606 Wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet, wallet! 17 00:01:51,606 --> 00:01:53,773 Ah, two seconds. 18 00:01:53,773 --> 00:01:55,981 Make yourself at home. 19 00:01:55,981 --> 00:01:57,107 Um... 20 00:02:20,232 --> 00:02:21,940 Got it! All right. 21 00:02:21,940 --> 00:02:24,523 22-something-- son of a... 22 00:02:25,856 --> 00:02:27,481 - ( sighs ) - Oop. 23 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,689 Perfect time to run out of cash, right? 24 00:02:29,689 --> 00:02:32,190 Look at me wasting your time. The prime of your youth. 25 00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:35,439 Sending you on a wild goose chase for dollars that don't exist. 26 00:02:35,439 --> 00:02:36,981 - It's fine. - Man: Honey. 27 00:02:36,981 --> 00:02:39,023 - Is everything okay? - Yeah. Do you have any cash? 28 00:02:39,023 --> 00:02:41,148 - You know I don't carry cash. - I know you don't carry cash. 29 00:02:41,148 --> 00:02:44,481 Why would you carry cash when you just take it from my wallet whenever you need it? 30 00:02:44,481 --> 00:02:46,731 Um, all right, Jarod, here's the deal. 31 00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:48,065 There's a cash machine down the street. 32 00:02:48,065 --> 00:02:51,023 I will be back in four minutes, five tops. 33 00:02:51,023 --> 00:02:53,023 It's all right, you can trust me. 34 00:02:53,023 --> 00:02:55,190 I'll even leave my wife as collateral, all right? 35 00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:58,148 Um, you know, you can just call a credit card in. 36 00:02:58,148 --> 00:03:01,065 No, no, no, that's silly 'cause then they tax your tip 37 00:03:01,065 --> 00:03:02,357 'cause you have to declare it. 38 00:03:02,357 --> 00:03:04,023 Believe me, I know the drill. 39 00:03:04,023 --> 00:03:05,856 - I'll be right back. - It's really not that-- 40 00:03:05,856 --> 00:03:07,856 honestly, the card... ( clears throat ) 41 00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:11,689 Woman: Can I get your help with something? 42 00:03:16,023 --> 00:03:17,689 Sure. 43 00:03:17,689 --> 00:03:20,023 In here. 44 00:03:36,273 --> 00:03:38,065 Do you like this dress? 45 00:03:39,856 --> 00:03:43,190 Uh, yes. 46 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,648 ( chuckles ) That rhymes. 47 00:03:45,648 --> 00:03:48,065 - What-- what rhymes? - Yes, dress. 48 00:03:48,065 --> 00:03:49,856 Oh, yeah, mm-hmm. 49 00:03:49,856 --> 00:03:52,232 Yeah, it does, huh? ( inhales ) 50 00:03:54,648 --> 00:03:56,232 Did you prefer the other one? 51 00:03:58,439 --> 00:04:02,398 - What? - Did you like the other dress I was wearing before 52 00:04:02,398 --> 00:04:03,898 better than this one? 53 00:04:06,398 --> 00:04:08,065 Which-- which dress? 54 00:04:15,773 --> 00:04:17,606 You know, this one. 55 00:04:21,773 --> 00:04:23,439 ( exhales ) 56 00:04:23,439 --> 00:04:26,898 I, uh-- I don't know. ( sniffs ) 57 00:04:26,898 --> 00:04:28,981 You don't know? 58 00:04:28,981 --> 00:04:31,148 Because you've never seen it on me before? 59 00:04:34,398 --> 00:04:37,981 Or because you were looking at my breasts when I took it off 60 00:04:37,981 --> 00:04:41,689 and you didn't focus on the dress? ( chuckles ) 61 00:04:41,689 --> 00:04:43,940 - ( chuckles ) - That rhymes, too. 62 00:04:43,940 --> 00:04:47,439 - Breasts, dress. - Yes. ( chuckles ) 63 00:04:47,439 --> 00:04:49,273 Well, which is it? 64 00:04:52,065 --> 00:04:52,940 What? 65 00:04:54,564 --> 00:04:56,398 Okay, that's all I needed. 66 00:04:56,398 --> 00:04:57,773 You can go now. 67 00:05:00,898 --> 00:05:02,856 If you want. 68 00:05:05,648 --> 00:05:08,439 ( stammers ) 69 00:05:08,439 --> 00:05:09,856 ( clears throat ) 70 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:12,773 ( exhales ) 71 00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:16,439 I'm gonna try on a third dress, 72 00:05:16,439 --> 00:05:18,357 but this time, no peeking. 73 00:05:19,648 --> 00:05:21,107 Okay. 74 00:05:21,107 --> 00:05:22,773 - I said no peeking. - I'm not! 75 00:05:22,773 --> 00:05:24,981 Ho dare you look at me. Look away! 76 00:05:24,981 --> 00:05:27,273 - I am! - Jarod! 77 00:05:28,481 --> 00:05:30,731 That's better. 78 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:34,107 So long as you're not looking, 79 00:05:34,107 --> 00:05:35,648 it's okay. 80 00:05:41,981 --> 00:05:44,190 ( door closes ) 81 00:05:55,315 --> 00:05:56,898 Do you want some of that pizza? 82 00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,940 No, thanks. 83 00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,898 We're not gonna eat it, so. 84 00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:07,065 If you're-- if you're not gonna eat it, 85 00:06:07,065 --> 00:06:10,148 why did you order it? 86 00:06:10,148 --> 00:06:13,023 - ( chuckles ) That's a good question. - ( music playing on phone ) 87 00:06:15,648 --> 00:06:17,232 It's not that I don't like pizza. 88 00:06:21,023 --> 00:06:22,273 I love it. 89 00:06:24,065 --> 00:06:25,606 It's just... 90 00:06:26,981 --> 00:06:29,606 when all you ever have is pizza... 91 00:06:31,065 --> 00:06:32,940 you get tired of it. 92 00:06:34,148 --> 00:06:36,357 Makes you want something new. 93 00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:39,023 Something different. 94 00:06:45,315 --> 00:06:47,898 And your-- your husband, 95 00:06:47,898 --> 00:06:50,398 how does he feel about pizza? 96 00:06:50,398 --> 00:06:54,856 I don't think Scott's been hungry in a long, long time. 97 00:06:54,856 --> 00:06:56,232 In fact... 98 00:06:57,731 --> 00:06:59,232 I don't think Scott would notice 99 00:06:59,232 --> 00:07:01,773 if a nice piece of pizza came right up and bit him. 100 00:07:03,981 --> 00:07:05,107 ( chuckles ) 101 00:07:07,357 --> 00:07:10,940 Must be weird delivering pizza to all these strange people. 102 00:07:12,273 --> 00:07:14,481 Sometimes. 103 00:07:14,481 --> 00:07:18,148 Have you ever had any strange encounters? 104 00:07:23,689 --> 00:07:25,439 Not really. 105 00:07:25,439 --> 00:07:29,398 Well, I have a hard time believing that. 106 00:07:29,398 --> 00:07:31,564 A guy like you... 107 00:07:32,689 --> 00:07:35,439 Have you ever served pizza 108 00:07:35,439 --> 00:07:40,065 to, say, a woman like me before? 109 00:07:43,315 --> 00:07:48,315 I-- I mean, I've served pizza before. 110 00:07:48,315 --> 00:07:50,190 You have? 111 00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:52,523 Yeah. Yeah, of course, yeah. 112 00:07:52,523 --> 00:07:54,523 How many times? 113 00:07:54,523 --> 00:07:57,315 Sure, uh... ( clears throat ) 114 00:07:59,315 --> 00:08:02,148 A bunch. A bunch of times. 115 00:08:03,815 --> 00:08:06,148 Interesting. 116 00:08:06,148 --> 00:08:08,065 Experienced. 117 00:08:08,065 --> 00:08:09,981 Yeah, a bunch of times. 118 00:08:11,398 --> 00:08:13,940 You haven't answered my question. 119 00:08:13,940 --> 00:08:14,981 What question? 120 00:08:14,981 --> 00:08:18,398 Have you ever served pizza 121 00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:20,940 to a woman like me before? 122 00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:29,023 No, ma'am. 123 00:08:30,648 --> 00:08:32,648 So, here we are. 124 00:08:33,815 --> 00:08:36,065 So hungry. 125 00:08:37,606 --> 00:08:39,898 ( exhales ) 126 00:08:41,439 --> 00:08:44,689 Are you gonna bring me that pizza or what? 127 00:08:47,981 --> 00:08:50,315 I want that pizza, Jarod. 128 00:08:52,439 --> 00:08:54,357 I ordered that pizza, 129 00:08:54,357 --> 00:08:57,689 and now I'm ordering you to bring me that pizza. 130 00:09:56,648 --> 00:09:58,481 - ( door thuds ) - Whew! 131 00:09:58,481 --> 00:10:01,148 - ( door closes ) - Damn, it is cold out there. 132 00:10:02,481 --> 00:10:04,273 Colder than a witch's titty. 133 00:10:04,273 --> 00:10:08,065 Man! But I got it. 134 00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:12,606 22-something and a huge tip for Jarod! 135 00:10:12,606 --> 00:10:15,815 Could you have taken any longer, Scott? 136 00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,398 What? 137 00:10:17,398 --> 00:10:19,981 Wait, Jennifer, where are you-- where are you-- 138 00:10:19,981 --> 00:10:21,648 Jen, come back. 139 00:10:21,648 --> 00:10:23,107 Don't! 140 00:10:26,273 --> 00:10:29,523 - What did I say? - ( blows raspberry ) 141 00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:31,523 Jeez, I went to the ATM. What...? 142 00:10:33,773 --> 00:10:37,190 I mean... ( sighs ) 143 00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:39,856 ( scoffing ) 144 00:10:45,815 --> 00:10:47,273 Women, huh? 145 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:52,023 ( sighs ) You can't live with 'em... 146 00:10:52,023 --> 00:10:53,815 Pass the Beer Nuts. 147 00:11:00,981 --> 00:11:03,190 You got a girlfriend, Jarod? 148 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,981 Uh, no, thanks. 149 00:11:06,981 --> 00:11:09,689 I-- I really gotta get back to work. 150 00:11:09,689 --> 00:11:12,065 Yeah. ( chuckles ) 151 00:11:12,065 --> 00:11:16,023 You two sure know how to make a guy feel good about himself. 152 00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:20,190 It's like I come in, two seconds, you're both running out 153 00:11:20,190 --> 00:11:22,190 quicker than two shakes of a lamb's tail. 154 00:11:24,815 --> 00:11:26,439 I'm-- I'm sorry. It's not personal. 155 00:11:26,439 --> 00:11:28,065 I just really gotta get back to work. 156 00:11:28,065 --> 00:11:30,357 I'm kidding. It's fine. 157 00:11:32,481 --> 00:11:34,357 ( sighs ) It's fine. 158 00:11:39,190 --> 00:11:40,815 ( clears throat ) 159 00:11:43,898 --> 00:11:46,856 I do kind of need the money for the pizza. 160 00:11:46,856 --> 00:11:49,523 ( chuckles ) 161 00:11:49,523 --> 00:11:52,107 Yes, money. 162 00:11:52,107 --> 00:11:54,273 22-something, plus a tip, 163 00:11:54,273 --> 00:11:56,439 which should be sizable 164 00:11:56,439 --> 00:11:59,606 - considering we've been wasting your time lollygagging. - ( phone chimes ) 165 00:11:59,606 --> 00:12:02,689 No, it's no problem. Don't sweat it. ( sniffs ) 166 00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:05,606 Ah, a text from Jennifer. 167 00:12:05,606 --> 00:12:08,065 Probably apologizing as we speak. 168 00:12:09,232 --> 00:12:10,398 Great. 169 00:12:19,023 --> 00:12:21,564 How big of a tip were you expecting, Jarod? 170 00:12:23,898 --> 00:12:25,357 Excuse me? 171 00:12:26,731 --> 00:12:28,564 Just curious what you think I should tip you. 172 00:12:29,898 --> 00:12:33,940 Just whatever you think is appropriate is fine. 173 00:12:33,940 --> 00:12:36,232 Well, I guess I don't-- I don't know what's customary-- 174 00:12:36,232 --> 00:12:39,065 - 10%, 20%? - Sure, yeah, either one. 175 00:12:39,065 --> 00:12:41,564 That'd-- that'd be great. Thank you. 176 00:12:43,773 --> 00:12:47,815 I guess it would help if I understood what services you performed 177 00:12:47,815 --> 00:12:49,689 so that I can get the amount right. 178 00:12:49,689 --> 00:12:53,439 I delivered the pizza. 179 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,315 What kind of pizza? 180 00:12:57,564 --> 00:13:01,273 - ( swallows ) The meat lovers. - Right, meat lovers. 181 00:13:01,273 --> 00:13:03,065 Right. 182 00:13:03,065 --> 00:13:05,898 Did you provide any services for my wife while I was gone? 183 00:13:09,439 --> 00:13:11,731 - Not really. - Really? 184 00:13:14,232 --> 00:13:15,107 Nothing? 185 00:13:16,815 --> 00:13:19,148 Uh... no. 186 00:13:19,148 --> 00:13:22,148 'Cause it would seem to me that the pizza, 187 00:13:22,148 --> 00:13:24,315 which was on the table when I left, 188 00:13:24,315 --> 00:13:27,148 is now... ( whistles ) 189 00:13:27,148 --> 00:13:30,357 on the bed instead. 190 00:13:30,357 --> 00:13:31,815 Huh. 191 00:13:31,815 --> 00:13:33,273 I guess... 192 00:13:33,273 --> 00:13:36,315 - that is-- - Hey, that rhymes. 193 00:13:38,232 --> 00:13:40,856 Instead, bed. 194 00:13:45,564 --> 00:13:49,315 Did you deliver the meat lovers to my wife on that bed? 195 00:13:52,107 --> 00:13:52,981 Sort of. 196 00:13:54,439 --> 00:13:55,856 Sort of? 197 00:13:59,357 --> 00:14:01,564 Jarod, I am no expert in what you do, 198 00:14:01,564 --> 00:14:03,439 but it would seem to me 199 00:14:03,439 --> 00:14:08,148 either you did or did not serve my wife the meat lover 200 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,065 on that bed. 201 00:14:15,481 --> 00:14:17,273 Gosh, I have gotta get back to work. 202 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:21,023 - I got so many others to deliver. - That would not be fair. 203 00:14:22,523 --> 00:14:23,981 I wanna pay you for your services, 204 00:14:23,981 --> 00:14:25,940 I just need to know what they were 205 00:14:25,940 --> 00:14:27,981 so that I can give you the proper tip. 206 00:14:31,523 --> 00:14:34,357 - Can I just go home? - Not until I tip you. 207 00:14:34,357 --> 00:14:36,689 ( exhales ) 208 00:14:36,689 --> 00:14:39,315 - All right. - ( stammering ) 209 00:14:39,315 --> 00:14:41,523 Let me put it this way-- 210 00:14:41,523 --> 00:14:44,273 how many times did you fuck my wife? 211 00:14:46,856 --> 00:14:49,439 Oh-- oh, my gosh, sir. I-- I did not. 212 00:14:49,439 --> 00:14:52,648 - I would never. - What-- what are you saying, my wife is ugly? 213 00:14:52,648 --> 00:14:54,523 - No, no. - So, you're saying she's hot? 214 00:14:54,523 --> 00:14:56,357 No, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. 215 00:14:56,357 --> 00:14:58,357 So, you just fuck anything, then, right? Is that your deal? 216 00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:01,689 You just go around delivering meat lovers pizzas willy-nilly wherever you go? 217 00:15:01,689 --> 00:15:03,564 No, no, no, I did not say that. 218 00:15:03,564 --> 00:15:05,107 - Didn't do it a second time? - I didn't do a first time. 219 00:15:05,107 --> 00:15:06,606 - Why not? She didn't ask you? - No. 220 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:07,856 So, she asked you to fuck her? 221 00:15:07,856 --> 00:15:10,398 Just give me the number, Jarod. 222 00:15:10,398 --> 00:15:12,357 - Jarod! - I didn't touch her! Ah! 223 00:15:12,357 --> 00:15:14,190 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Help! 224 00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:16,564 Help! Help! Ow! 225 00:15:16,564 --> 00:15:18,731 ( grunting ) Help! 226 00:15:20,940 --> 00:15:22,981 ( whimpering ) 227 00:15:25,107 --> 00:15:26,357 Ah! 228 00:15:26,357 --> 00:15:27,981 ( grunting ) 229 00:15:29,315 --> 00:15:30,731 Help! Help! 230 00:15:30,731 --> 00:15:33,898 Oh, my God. Oh, fuck. ( panting ) 231 00:15:33,898 --> 00:15:36,232 ( groaning ) 232 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,773 No, no, no! 233 00:15:44,606 --> 00:15:45,481 ( grunts ) 234 00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:51,065 ( exhales ) 235 00:15:51,065 --> 00:15:53,439 - ( chimes ) - ( music playing over stereo ) 236 00:15:55,107 --> 00:15:57,773 ( panting ) 237 00:15:59,981 --> 00:16:01,898 Relax, Jarod. 238 00:16:03,439 --> 00:16:04,815 Relax. 239 00:16:04,815 --> 00:16:07,606 I'm not gonna hurt you. 240 00:16:08,981 --> 00:16:11,190 In fact, I like you. ( chuckles ) 241 00:16:11,190 --> 00:16:14,731 I mean, that's the whole "you know" of it all 242 00:16:14,731 --> 00:16:18,315 is I liked you from the second I opened that door. 243 00:16:18,315 --> 00:16:19,606 So... 244 00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:23,606 I'm gonna make it easy on you. 245 00:16:26,315 --> 00:16:28,648 Either you tell me 246 00:16:28,648 --> 00:16:32,606 the number of times you fucked my wife, 247 00:16:32,606 --> 00:16:33,689 or... 248 00:16:35,940 --> 00:16:39,023 I'm gonna beat the living shit out of you. 249 00:16:39,023 --> 00:16:41,273 Oh, my God. 250 00:16:41,273 --> 00:16:42,815 Hmm? 251 00:16:42,815 --> 00:16:45,523 ♪ Ain't no two ways about it... ♪ 252 00:16:45,523 --> 00:16:47,523 - Need that number, Jarod. - ( whimpers ) Oh, my God. 253 00:16:47,523 --> 00:16:49,856 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Why are you-- please stop. 254 00:16:49,856 --> 00:16:52,315 Just give me that number. I will give you your 22-something, 255 00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:53,564 plus your fair tip. 256 00:16:53,564 --> 00:16:55,023 There's no number, there's no number. 257 00:16:55,023 --> 00:16:57,398 Help! Help, help! 258 00:16:57,398 --> 00:16:59,523 - I will untie you... - Help! 259 00:16:59,523 --> 00:17:02,689 - ...and you can go back to work. - Help! Help! 260 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,898 - Help! Oh, my God. - ( imitates whip ) 261 00:17:06,190 --> 00:17:08,148 - Partner. - No, no! Ow! 262 00:17:08,148 --> 00:17:09,981 - ( gasps ) - Huh? 263 00:17:09,981 --> 00:17:12,815 - I didn't, I didn't, I didn't! - I need that number, Jarod. 264 00:17:12,815 --> 00:17:14,981 There's no number! I swear, I didn't touch her! 265 00:17:14,981 --> 00:17:16,232 I didn't touch her. I didn't touch her. 266 00:17:16,232 --> 00:17:17,689 I didn't touch her! None! 267 00:17:17,689 --> 00:17:19,606 I didn't do it! I didn't touch her! 268 00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:22,190 ( crying ) I didn't touch her. I didn't touch her. 269 00:17:22,190 --> 00:17:24,065 ( panting ) 270 00:17:26,648 --> 00:17:29,773 I'm not gonna get mad, okay? 271 00:17:29,773 --> 00:17:31,398 I'm not. 272 00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:33,023 I'm not gonna get mad. 273 00:17:34,898 --> 00:17:36,898 ( gasps ) 274 00:17:36,898 --> 00:17:38,981 How many times? 275 00:17:38,981 --> 00:17:41,481 - ( shudders ) - ( door opens ) 276 00:17:41,481 --> 00:17:42,940 What are you doing? 277 00:17:42,940 --> 00:17:44,898 - Ah, there she is. - Help! 278 00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:47,398 - Why is he tied up? - He told me everything. 279 00:17:47,398 --> 00:17:49,856 - What are you talking about? - Don't you play dumb with me, woman. 280 00:17:49,856 --> 00:17:52,564 I know about the sucking and the fucking 281 00:17:52,564 --> 00:17:54,648 and the long distance trucking. 282 00:17:54,648 --> 00:17:56,315 The whole shebang, Mama Joe! 283 00:17:56,315 --> 00:17:58,232 Help! Help! Untie me. He's gone crazy! 284 00:17:58,232 --> 00:17:59,731 - Oh, I'm crazy? - Yeah! 285 00:17:59,731 --> 00:18:02,065 I leave the room for seven fucking minutes 286 00:18:02,065 --> 00:18:04,190 - and this is what happens... - Scott. 287 00:18:04,190 --> 00:18:06,689 - ...and I'm the crazy one. - This is insane. Let him go. 288 00:18:06,689 --> 00:18:08,940 - ( music stops ) - Jarod: You gotta call the police! 289 00:18:08,940 --> 00:18:10,357 Help! 290 00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:12,439 Shh, all right. 291 00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:14,773 ( panting ) 292 00:18:16,606 --> 00:18:19,107 ( exhales, inhales ) 293 00:18:19,107 --> 00:18:21,981 - I will let him go. - Thank you. 294 00:18:21,981 --> 00:18:23,398 ( sighs ) 295 00:18:24,773 --> 00:18:26,689 But first, 296 00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:28,689 - I will take down his pants... - No! 297 00:18:28,689 --> 00:18:30,606 - No! Help! - ...assuming his meat lover 298 00:18:30,606 --> 00:18:32,273 - doesn't smell like your meat lover... - Help! 299 00:18:32,273 --> 00:18:34,815 - ...I will let him go. - Stop it! Enough! 300 00:18:37,273 --> 00:18:40,439 - ( exhales ) Thank you. - You told him about us? 301 00:18:40,439 --> 00:18:41,398 What? 302 00:18:41,398 --> 00:18:43,065 How could you? 303 00:18:43,065 --> 00:18:45,107 Jarod: I didn't-- I didn't say anything. 304 00:18:45,107 --> 00:18:47,898 That was special. That was just for us. 305 00:18:47,898 --> 00:18:50,190 I didn't-- I didn't say a word. I didn't tell him anything. 306 00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:52,481 - He's right, he didn't. - There's nothing to tell! 307 00:18:52,481 --> 00:18:54,023 - I figured it out. - Oh, my God. 308 00:18:54,023 --> 00:18:56,815 - I knew it. - What do you expect, Scott? 309 00:18:56,815 --> 00:19:00,315 I expected you to honor our marriage vows 310 00:19:00,315 --> 00:19:02,940 and not fuck the first pizza boy who came through the door! 311 00:19:02,940 --> 00:19:04,815 - You drove me to him! - What?! 312 00:19:04,815 --> 00:19:07,648 - But nothing happened! - I go to Pilates, I do yoga! 313 00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:11,148 - What? ( scoffs ) - I even went to that goddamn facialist you recommended. 314 00:19:11,148 --> 00:19:13,981 - Again with the facialist! - And you give me nothing! 315 00:19:13,981 --> 00:19:18,065 You look at me like a used veneer 316 00:19:18,065 --> 00:19:21,315 pine IKEA desk from craigslist! 317 00:19:21,315 --> 00:19:24,023 Okay, Scott, Scott, nothing happened, I swear. 318 00:19:24,023 --> 00:19:26,648 - You goddamn slut. - You selfish son of a bitch. 319 00:19:26,648 --> 00:19:28,731 My mother told me I was marrying a whore! 320 00:19:28,731 --> 00:19:31,398 - You treat me like dirt! - Showing your titties all over town! 321 00:19:31,398 --> 00:19:34,023 Now I'm gonna make you pay for it! ( grunts ) 322 00:19:34,023 --> 00:19:37,023 Okay, everybody just needs to calm down. 323 00:19:37,023 --> 00:19:39,564 - ( screams ) - ( both grunting ) 324 00:19:39,564 --> 00:19:41,439 Guys. Guys! 325 00:19:41,439 --> 00:19:43,481 Help! Somebody help! 326 00:19:43,481 --> 00:19:46,398 - ( Jennifer gasps ) - There's one of those slutty titties. 327 00:19:46,398 --> 00:19:47,815 See that, Jarod? Huh? 328 00:19:47,815 --> 00:19:49,398 - Wanna see the other one? - No. No. 329 00:19:49,398 --> 00:19:51,357 - No! - ( Jennifer grunts ) 330 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,023 - ( laughing ) - Oh, God. 331 00:19:53,023 --> 00:19:54,523 - Oh, God. - There they are. 332 00:19:54,523 --> 00:19:55,689 Look at 'em. 333 00:19:55,689 --> 00:19:56,856 - Remember these, huh? - No! 334 00:19:56,856 --> 00:19:58,273 Remember when you fondled these titties 335 00:19:58,273 --> 00:19:59,523 and broke my fragile heart? 336 00:19:59,523 --> 00:20:01,357 I never fondled any titties. Help! 337 00:20:01,357 --> 00:20:03,398 It's 'cause you wanted Scott all along, isn't it, Jarod? 338 00:20:03,398 --> 00:20:04,856 - Help! Wait. - That's right. 339 00:20:04,856 --> 00:20:06,898 You used me to get to Scott, didn't you? 340 00:20:06,898 --> 00:20:08,689 - No! - Scott: Yeah! 341 00:20:08,689 --> 00:20:11,940 - Yeah, that's right. - He used you to get to me. 342 00:20:11,940 --> 00:20:12,898 That's what happened. 343 00:20:14,190 --> 00:20:16,731 - Jennifer: Yeah. - Help! Help! 344 00:20:16,731 --> 00:20:18,315 - Jarod: No! - ( grunts ) 345 00:20:18,315 --> 00:20:20,065 - ( whimpers ) - Over here, Jarod. 346 00:20:20,065 --> 00:20:21,898 - It's what you wanted. - Scott: Look over here. 347 00:20:21,898 --> 00:20:23,648 - Here's your tip, meat lover. - No, thanks. 348 00:20:23,648 --> 00:20:25,107 - Look at me. - Look at us, Jarod. 349 00:20:25,107 --> 00:20:26,856 - Look at Daddy. - Help! Somebody help! 350 00:20:26,856 --> 00:20:29,439 - Look at Mommy! Oh, my God! - Please help! 351 00:20:29,439 --> 00:20:30,898 - Both: Oh, God! - Oh, God. 352 00:20:30,898 --> 00:20:32,315 - Oh, God! - ( moans ) 353 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:33,981 - ( moaning ) - Oh, God, oh, God! 354 00:20:33,981 --> 00:20:36,564 Oh, God! Oh, God! 355 00:20:45,731 --> 00:20:47,606 ( music playing ) 356 00:21:12,107 --> 00:21:15,648 That was not half bad for your first time. 357 00:21:15,648 --> 00:21:17,190 ( exhales ) 358 00:21:17,190 --> 00:21:19,148 - Bill. - Sir? 359 00:21:19,148 --> 00:21:21,940 You did a good job of making me feel uneasy. 360 00:21:21,940 --> 00:21:23,481 ( chuckles ) 361 00:21:23,481 --> 00:21:25,856 Where you lost me was in the characterization. 362 00:21:25,856 --> 00:21:28,315 I mean, you started off as this somewhat cosmopolitan weirdo 363 00:21:28,315 --> 00:21:32,523 and then digressed into this-- I mean, you tell me, buddy-- a Southern dad? 364 00:21:32,523 --> 00:21:34,315 It was all over the place. 365 00:21:34,315 --> 00:21:36,856 Yeah, I had trouble finding the character. 366 00:21:36,856 --> 00:21:40,107 Make bold choices and stick with them. 367 00:21:40,107 --> 00:21:42,523 - Yes, sir. - Now, Lisa. 368 00:21:42,523 --> 00:21:44,815 ( whistles ) 369 00:21:44,815 --> 00:21:46,981 - Lisa, Lisa, Lisa. - ( lighter clicking ) 370 00:21:51,856 --> 00:21:53,981 We do have to talk about those breasts. 371 00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:56,898 Sweetheart, I've been to the Louvre, 372 00:21:56,898 --> 00:21:59,523 and those things are the fucking Mona Lisa. 373 00:21:59,523 --> 00:22:01,273 Thank you. 374 00:22:01,273 --> 00:22:03,023 But I gotta say 375 00:22:03,023 --> 00:22:06,773 I think your choice to show them to me so soon after I came in the room, 376 00:22:06,773 --> 00:22:08,315 that was a mistake. 377 00:22:08,315 --> 00:22:10,357 'Cause here's what you gotta understand-- 378 00:22:10,357 --> 00:22:12,357 most of our clients-- 379 00:22:12,357 --> 00:22:13,981 I mean, hell, all our clients-- 380 00:22:13,981 --> 00:22:15,315 are major voyeurs. 381 00:22:15,315 --> 00:22:16,815 Okay? 382 00:22:16,815 --> 00:22:18,606 So, I mean, you're gonna wanna hold that off 383 00:22:18,606 --> 00:22:22,856 for as long as you can. 384 00:22:22,856 --> 00:22:25,523 - That's your trump card. - Yes, sir. 385 00:22:25,523 --> 00:22:26,523 Understood. 386 00:22:28,315 --> 00:22:30,606 Mm! 387 00:22:30,606 --> 00:22:32,023 Almost forgot. 388 00:22:34,357 --> 00:22:37,856 - What's this? - I-- I thought this was just an audition. 389 00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:39,856 Well, you worked hard. You earned it. 390 00:22:41,940 --> 00:22:43,648 - All righty. - Great. 391 00:22:43,648 --> 00:22:45,273 Get yourselves and this place cleaned up. 392 00:22:45,273 --> 00:22:49,439 Your first client will be here-- holy shit-- any minute now. 393 00:22:49,439 --> 00:22:51,315 We'll run the pizza boy sketch again. 394 00:22:51,315 --> 00:22:54,357 Take my notes, implement them. 395 00:22:54,357 --> 00:22:56,148 You're gonna do great. 396 00:22:58,940 --> 00:23:00,564 ( door closes ) 397 00:23:03,065 --> 00:23:05,273 ( exhales ) 398 00:23:06,564 --> 00:23:08,398 ( knocking on door ) 399 00:23:08,398 --> 00:23:10,190 Just a second! 400 00:23:10,190 --> 00:23:11,731 ( music playing ) 401 00:23:24,315 --> 00:23:25,773 ( knocking continues ) 402 00:23:26,898 --> 00:23:28,273 Be right there. 403 00:23:32,564 --> 00:23:34,357 ( knocking continues ) 404 00:23:39,606 --> 00:23:40,940 ( exhales ) 405 00:23:43,564 --> 00:23:46,731 Sorry about that. What do I owe you? 406 00:23:46,731 --> 00:23:48,940 ( music playing ) 407 00:23:50,606 --> 00:23:53,773 ♪ I don't have to hang out ♪ 408 00:23:53,773 --> 00:23:56,773 ♪ At some old redneck roadhouse ♪ 409 00:23:56,773 --> 00:24:01,107 ♪ Spending up my money, shooting 'em down ♪ 410 00:24:02,773 --> 00:24:06,439 ♪ 'Cause I found something better ♪ 411 00:24:06,439 --> 00:24:09,107 ♪ Lord, I swear I never ♪ 412 00:24:09,107 --> 00:24:13,232 ♪ Thought love could feel as right as it feels now ♪ 413 00:24:15,232 --> 00:24:19,315 ♪ Ain't no two ways about it ♪ 414 00:24:19,315 --> 00:24:22,273 ♪ I can't live without it ♪ 415 00:24:22,273 --> 00:24:26,648 ♪ Her love just gets sweeter every day ♪ 416 00:24:27,773 --> 00:24:31,357 ♪ Oh, endless TLC ♪ 417 00:24:31,357 --> 00:24:34,315 ♪ That's her philosophy ♪ 418 00:24:34,315 --> 00:24:37,357 ♪ Ain't no two ways about it ♪ 419 00:24:37,357 --> 00:24:40,273 ♪ She's the one for me. ♪ 420 00:24:48,856 --> 00:24:50,564 MAN: Here lies a door. 421 00:24:50,773 --> 00:24:53,606 Beyond it lies something wonderful. 422 00:24:53,606 --> 00:24:54,398 (SHOUTS) 423 00:24:55,023 --> 00:24:56,481 -♪ (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(CLOCK TICKING) 424 00:25:00,898 --> 00:25:01,981 (LAUGHING) 425 00:25:02,815 --> 00:25:04,148 ♪ (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪ 426 00:25:04,148 --> 00:25:05,023 (GRUNTS) 427 00:25:05,564 --> 00:25:08,107 MAN: This is the moment to enter the unknown. 428 00:25:08,564 --> 00:25:10,315 Something feels seriously off. 429 00:25:10,606 --> 00:25:13,689 If you stop, it could damage your soul. 430 00:25:13,689 --> 00:25:17,023 You are about to transcend. Are you ready? 431 00:25:18,481 --> 00:25:19,398 Absolutely. 432 00:25:19,940 --> 00:25:21,315 -(CLOCK TICKING) -♪ (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 433 00:25:21,315 --> 00:25:22,689 MAN: There's a good side to this... 434 00:25:23,023 --> 00:25:24,023 (SCREAMING) 435 00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:26,065 ...and a bad side.