1 00:00:08,411 --> 00:00:10,744 ( music playing ) 2 00:00:37,828 --> 00:00:39,327 ( birds chirping ) 3 00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:54,953 ( playing "Ode to Joy" from Beethoven's 9th on trumpet ) 4 00:01:11,536 --> 00:01:14,120 ( continues playing ) 5 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:30,911 ( stops playing ) 6 00:01:30,995 --> 00:01:32,327 ( exhales ) 7 00:01:40,286 --> 00:01:43,120 Man: Dear Mr. Mulvahill, I sincerely hope 8 00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:44,869 that this letter finds you spiritually, mentally, 9 00:01:44,953 --> 00:01:46,869 and physically well. 10 00:01:46,953 --> 00:01:48,411 You likely won't remember me, 11 00:01:48,494 --> 00:01:51,286 so please allow me to reintroduce myself. 12 00:01:51,369 --> 00:01:53,619 My name is Jim Herbers. 13 00:01:53,703 --> 00:01:58,286 I attended Franklin Elementary from 1974 through 1979, 14 00:01:58,369 --> 00:02:00,744 where you coached baseball and taught music 15 00:02:00,828 --> 00:02:03,494 to kindergarten through 3rd grade. 16 00:02:03,577 --> 00:02:06,619 I was an ordinary child who, from an early age, 17 00:02:06,703 --> 00:02:10,327 had ordinary aspirations to lead an ordinary life. 18 00:02:11,995 --> 00:02:15,411 But all that changed when I was in 3rd grade-- 19 00:02:15,494 --> 00:02:17,536 when I met you. 20 00:02:17,619 --> 00:02:20,411 I am hoping that you will be kind enough to meet with me. 21 00:02:20,494 --> 00:02:23,203 I have longed for many years to meet face-to-face, 22 00:02:23,286 --> 00:02:27,245 and have only recently gathered the courage to ask. 23 00:02:27,327 --> 00:02:29,995 You will receive a second letter from me this afternoon 24 00:02:30,078 --> 00:02:31,786 outlining the specific time and place 25 00:02:31,869 --> 00:02:33,869 at which I would like to meet tomorrow. 26 00:02:36,744 --> 00:02:40,828 And while I realize this may seem an odd and presumptuous request, 27 00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:42,452 I remind you that as a former teacher 28 00:02:42,536 --> 00:02:44,161 your primary role in life 29 00:02:44,245 --> 00:02:47,869 was to profoundly impact the lives of your students. 30 00:02:50,744 --> 00:02:54,661 I can assure you that no one was more profoundly impacted 31 00:02:54,744 --> 00:02:58,078 by the short time we spent together than me. 32 00:02:59,828 --> 00:03:02,452 Sincerely, Jim Herbers. 33 00:03:16,953 --> 00:03:18,327 ( knocking on door ) 34 00:03:29,494 --> 00:03:30,953 ( knocking on door ) 35 00:03:40,786 --> 00:03:41,828 Jim? 36 00:03:41,911 --> 00:03:44,120 Mr. Mulvahill? 37 00:03:44,203 --> 00:03:47,203 ( chuckling ) Yes. That's me. 38 00:03:48,869 --> 00:03:51,120 I-I'm sorry, I just-- 39 00:03:51,203 --> 00:03:52,577 it's been so long. 40 00:03:52,661 --> 00:03:54,536 ( stammers ) 41 00:03:54,619 --> 00:03:56,286 It's really you? 42 00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:58,245 Well, I hope I'm him. 43 00:03:58,327 --> 00:04:01,120 I'm wearing his underwear. 44 00:04:01,203 --> 00:04:02,536 ( chuckles ) 45 00:04:02,619 --> 00:04:05,036 ( laughs ) Please come in. 46 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,452 I'm sorry, I just-- 47 00:04:06,536 --> 00:04:09,120 No, no, it's-- it's quite all right. 48 00:04:14,078 --> 00:04:18,120 Well, I-- I guess you've grown a few inches 49 00:04:18,203 --> 00:04:20,494 since we last saw each other. 50 00:04:20,577 --> 00:04:22,036 You remember me? 51 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,078 ( awkward laugh ) 52 00:04:24,161 --> 00:04:27,078 I carry all my students with me. 53 00:04:28,411 --> 00:04:30,452 How? 54 00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:32,452 I'm sorry. How? 55 00:04:32,536 --> 00:04:34,661 Yes, how? 56 00:04:34,744 --> 00:04:38,619 It's just a figure of speech. I-- 57 00:04:38,703 --> 00:04:40,120 I... 58 00:04:40,203 --> 00:04:43,411 You're all a part of my life. 59 00:04:43,494 --> 00:04:44,703 I understand. 60 00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,619 So, I was pleased to get your letter. 61 00:04:49,703 --> 00:04:54,577 I have to confess that I do have an appointment this afternoon, 62 00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:57,869 but I'm eager to hear whatever it is 63 00:04:57,953 --> 00:04:59,661 you wanted to discuss with me. 64 00:05:02,078 --> 00:05:04,120 Mr. Mulvahill, I-- 65 00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:06,703 I can't thank you enough for coming today. 66 00:05:06,786 --> 00:05:09,161 You have no idea how much this means to me. 67 00:05:09,245 --> 00:05:12,995 It's no trouble at all. Really. 68 00:05:13,078 --> 00:05:14,828 Please. Have a seat. 69 00:05:14,911 --> 00:05:16,869 - Oh. Thank you. - OK. 70 00:05:22,744 --> 00:05:27,120 ( playing "Ode to Joy" with many wrong notes ) 71 00:05:37,911 --> 00:05:39,661 ( finishes tune ) 72 00:05:39,744 --> 00:05:41,911 ( panting ) 73 00:05:46,703 --> 00:05:48,286 You remember? 74 00:05:50,161 --> 00:05:52,744 Do you mean the piece of music? 75 00:05:52,828 --> 00:05:56,536 It's the 4th movement of Beethoven's 9th Symphony. 76 00:05:56,619 --> 00:05:59,369 - "The Ode to Joy." - His final symphony. 77 00:05:59,452 --> 00:06:01,619 That's correct. ( chuckling ) 78 00:06:03,744 --> 00:06:05,869 The year was 1978, 79 00:06:05,953 --> 00:06:07,995 I was in the 3rd grade, you were 80 00:06:08,078 --> 00:06:09,619 teaching us all music. 81 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,869 And we were trying to decide 82 00:06:11,953 --> 00:06:14,120 what to play for the spring concert. 83 00:06:14,203 --> 00:06:16,327 And all the kids wanted to play the overture to Star Wars. 84 00:06:16,411 --> 00:06:18,995 The movie had just been released, and made 85 00:06:19,078 --> 00:06:20,369 quite an impression on all of us. 86 00:06:20,452 --> 00:06:22,619 I was behind that idea a hundred percent. 87 00:06:22,703 --> 00:06:24,619 Do you remember? 88 00:06:24,703 --> 00:06:28,869 No? Well, you were having none of it, Mr. Mulvahill, let me tell you. 89 00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:30,577 ( laughing ) 90 00:06:30,661 --> 00:06:34,078 You said, while the music might be exciting to us, 91 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:35,577 it was highly derivative 92 00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:38,203 and wasn't worth our attention. 93 00:06:38,286 --> 00:06:39,911 Ha! 94 00:06:39,995 --> 00:06:41,953 Then... 95 00:06:42,036 --> 00:06:44,203 you told us... 96 00:06:44,286 --> 00:06:47,953 about Ludwig van Beethoven. 97 00:06:48,036 --> 00:06:53,411 His dark and fiery compositions made him a star, 98 00:06:53,494 --> 00:06:56,036 and yet, his personal life 99 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,869 was filled with pain and deeply troubled. 100 00:07:01,411 --> 00:07:03,828 Which got even worse as he lost his hearing. 101 00:07:03,911 --> 00:07:05,953 Can you imagine the ultimate tragedy? 102 00:07:06,036 --> 00:07:10,120 A composer losing their hearing. 103 00:07:10,203 --> 00:07:14,245 And that for the final movement of his final symphony, 104 00:07:14,327 --> 00:07:18,577 in a stroke of irony, he composed an ode... 105 00:07:18,661 --> 00:07:21,744 - to joy. - To joy. 106 00:07:21,828 --> 00:07:24,786 He even brought in a chorus to sing along with the music. 107 00:07:24,869 --> 00:07:26,369 Yes, yes. 108 00:07:29,911 --> 00:07:32,577 Well, needless to say, the children of the class 109 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:35,786 did not approve of your choice, Mr. Mulvahill. 110 00:07:35,869 --> 00:07:37,245 ( laughs ) 111 00:07:37,327 --> 00:07:39,452 But I just wanted to thank you 112 00:07:39,536 --> 00:07:43,286 for playing "Ode to Joy" for me that day. 113 00:07:43,369 --> 00:07:47,828 For teaching me that even though a man may live a deeply troubled life 114 00:07:47,911 --> 00:07:50,953 and come up against... 115 00:07:51,036 --> 00:07:53,661 unbelievable obstacles 116 00:07:53,744 --> 00:07:56,494 over which he has no control, 117 00:07:56,577 --> 00:08:00,203 to which he might be an innocent victim, 118 00:08:00,286 --> 00:08:02,744 even if he's... 119 00:08:02,828 --> 00:08:07,036 drowning in darkness and fear 120 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,828 and despair and isolation... 121 00:08:10,911 --> 00:08:15,120 that every person has the opportunity 122 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:19,036 to... end their life 123 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:22,452 with an ode to joy. 124 00:08:28,744 --> 00:08:31,577 I desperately want to believe that. 125 00:08:31,661 --> 00:08:35,995 And, ironically enough, it's you I have to thank 126 00:08:36,078 --> 00:08:40,411 for this narrow strand of hope 127 00:08:40,494 --> 00:08:43,786 upon which... I now stand. 128 00:08:48,953 --> 00:08:50,245 Do you remember now? 129 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,078 I-- I do. Uh... 130 00:08:58,161 --> 00:09:00,577 I-- I do remember it, Jim. 131 00:09:00,661 --> 00:09:04,703 And, uh, I'm so glad 132 00:09:04,786 --> 00:09:09,245 that... that it stayed with you. 133 00:09:15,036 --> 00:09:17,494 Well, I-- I should probably-- 134 00:09:17,577 --> 00:09:20,161 Do you also remember what happened after all the other kids left? 135 00:09:21,911 --> 00:09:23,911 Uh, I'm sorry? 136 00:09:23,995 --> 00:09:27,536 Well, you remembered the first portion of the day, 137 00:09:27,619 --> 00:09:31,369 I'm assuming you remember the portion that followed after. 138 00:09:31,452 --> 00:09:32,327 Hmm? 139 00:09:32,411 --> 00:09:34,245 ( mirthless chuckle ) 140 00:09:34,327 --> 00:09:36,536 I'm not sure, uh, really. 141 00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:38,619 But that's the most seminal part of it for me. 142 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,828 That's the part that affected me the most, 143 00:09:40,911 --> 00:09:43,661 you and me alone together in the classroom. 144 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:49,494 That's what... made me the man I am today. 145 00:09:59,744 --> 00:10:01,369 Do you remember? 146 00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:05,369 Let me refresh your memory. 147 00:10:07,744 --> 00:10:10,744 So, the kids voted for Star Wars. 148 00:10:10,828 --> 00:10:13,120 You were disappointed, but you handled it well. 149 00:10:13,203 --> 00:10:14,619 And then the bell rang, 150 00:10:14,703 --> 00:10:17,161 and all of the other children left. 151 00:10:17,245 --> 00:10:22,036 And I came up to you and I said 152 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,078 that I really loved "Ode to Joy" 153 00:10:24,161 --> 00:10:25,828 and I wanted to vote for it, 154 00:10:25,911 --> 00:10:28,245 but I was afraid the other kids would make fun of me. 155 00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:31,953 So I copped out and I voted for Star Wars, too. 156 00:10:32,036 --> 00:10:34,203 And you were very sweet about it, 157 00:10:34,286 --> 00:10:39,619 and you forgave me for voting for Star Wars and not for Beethoven. 158 00:10:39,703 --> 00:10:41,078 Then I turned to go, 159 00:10:41,161 --> 00:10:42,953 and then you stopped me and said 160 00:10:43,036 --> 00:10:45,911 could I stay for a few minutes. 161 00:10:47,452 --> 00:10:49,953 Do you remember that? 162 00:10:51,286 --> 00:10:53,452 I-- I'm sorry, Jim, I-- 163 00:10:53,536 --> 00:10:56,161 - I should be going. - Just one-- one minute. 164 00:10:56,245 --> 00:10:57,369 Please. 165 00:10:58,869 --> 00:11:00,327 So... 166 00:11:00,411 --> 00:11:03,452 you asked me to take out my trumpet-- that trumpet-- 167 00:11:03,536 --> 00:11:06,536 and you handed me the sheet music for "Ode to Joy" 168 00:11:06,619 --> 00:11:08,286 and asked me to play along with you. 169 00:11:08,369 --> 00:11:09,828 I was thrilled. 170 00:11:09,911 --> 00:11:11,869 I never got this kind of attention at home. 171 00:11:11,953 --> 00:11:13,161 ( laughs ) 172 00:11:13,245 --> 00:11:15,744 You asked me to close the door, 173 00:11:15,828 --> 00:11:17,036 and I did, 174 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,619 and then we started to play, 175 00:11:19,703 --> 00:11:21,286 me on the trumpet, you on the piano. 176 00:11:21,369 --> 00:11:23,369 I played terribly, of course, 177 00:11:23,452 --> 00:11:26,036 and you played brilliantly. 178 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,536 And the whole time you... smiled at me 179 00:11:29,619 --> 00:11:32,036 and nodded in encouragement. 180 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:36,161 And it made me feel so good about myself. 181 00:11:36,245 --> 00:11:37,869 Then we finished, 182 00:11:37,953 --> 00:11:40,036 and I put away the trumpet, 183 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:44,286 and you looked me, you smiled... 184 00:11:45,869 --> 00:11:47,911 ...then you put your hand on my knee. 185 00:11:50,161 --> 00:11:52,995 Can you remember what you said? 186 00:11:57,245 --> 00:12:00,703 I-- I, uh, I don't. I-- 187 00:12:00,786 --> 00:12:01,953 This one is important. 188 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,661 This... 189 00:12:06,744 --> 00:12:08,828 is the most important. 190 00:12:11,661 --> 00:12:14,494 Can you remember what happened next? 191 00:12:19,911 --> 00:12:22,078 I'm gonna need you to remember. 192 00:12:22,161 --> 00:12:24,577 I'm gonna need you to try harder. 193 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:26,286 OK? 194 00:12:29,995 --> 00:12:31,369 No, I-- I-- 195 00:12:31,452 --> 00:12:33,078 I'm gonna need you to work harder. 196 00:12:33,161 --> 00:12:36,286 Because what happened over the next four minutes 197 00:12:36,369 --> 00:12:39,327 entirely changed the course of my life. 198 00:12:39,411 --> 00:12:42,411 So the least you can do 199 00:12:42,494 --> 00:12:44,911 is try and remember. 200 00:12:44,995 --> 00:12:49,036 Or admit-- Please. 201 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:53,327 Tell me... what you remember... 202 00:12:53,411 --> 00:12:55,411 about what happened next. 203 00:13:02,036 --> 00:13:02,953 I'm sorry. 204 00:13:03,036 --> 00:13:06,036 I simply don't remember. 205 00:13:12,245 --> 00:13:13,995 ( exhales ) 206 00:13:17,744 --> 00:13:20,120 OK. 207 00:13:20,203 --> 00:13:23,036 I'm disappointed, but what can you do? 208 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:26,661 I mean... you can't remember what you can't remember. 209 00:13:26,744 --> 00:13:29,911 Thank you so much for coming. 210 00:13:29,995 --> 00:13:33,494 And I sincerely hope I haven't made you late for your next appointment. 211 00:13:33,577 --> 00:13:37,661 Well, nice to see you, Jim, and I hope everything-- 212 00:13:37,744 --> 00:13:39,078 - Mr. Mulvahill! - Yes? 213 00:13:51,245 --> 00:13:54,744 Jim ( echoing ): If you scream, I'll have to put a gag in your mouth. 214 00:13:59,452 --> 00:14:01,536 You won't like that. 215 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,703 Plus, I rented all the nearby rooms, 216 00:14:06,786 --> 00:14:09,286 so there's no one to help you. 217 00:14:09,369 --> 00:14:13,036 But I'm confident that we can resolve this 218 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:18,494 if we just cooperate together. OK? 219 00:14:18,577 --> 00:14:20,536 I'm sorry I had to hit you like that, 220 00:14:20,619 --> 00:14:22,494 but, as you'll soon realize, 221 00:14:22,577 --> 00:14:25,786 I needed to have you immobilized for about ten minutes 222 00:14:25,869 --> 00:14:27,744 while we work through this. 223 00:14:27,828 --> 00:14:30,078 Now, I'm pretty sure you knew what happened on that day 224 00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:32,411 and are lying to me right now. 225 00:14:32,494 --> 00:14:35,828 But there is the possibility that you have forgotten 226 00:14:35,911 --> 00:14:40,911 or, even more likely, that what was so seminal for me 227 00:14:40,995 --> 00:14:43,828 was merely commonplace for you. 228 00:14:45,411 --> 00:14:50,911 So, where were we? Ah, yes. 229 00:14:50,995 --> 00:14:55,286 Sitting down, your hand on my knee, the door was closed. 230 00:14:55,369 --> 00:14:57,078 You remember what you said to me? 231 00:14:57,161 --> 00:14:59,953 You said, "Jim... 232 00:15:00,036 --> 00:15:02,327 I believe... 233 00:15:02,411 --> 00:15:05,161 that anything is possible in this world." 234 00:15:07,245 --> 00:15:11,203 I remember basking in the warm glow of your smile, 235 00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:13,203 and for a moment I believed 236 00:15:13,286 --> 00:15:15,078 that maybe I could have a beautiful life, 237 00:15:15,161 --> 00:15:18,536 maybe I could be a composer one day, 238 00:15:18,619 --> 00:15:20,703 like Beethoven. 239 00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:22,744 And then... 240 00:15:22,828 --> 00:15:26,327 just like that... ( snaps fingers ) 241 00:15:26,411 --> 00:15:27,995 you took it away. 242 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,786 You erased it. 243 00:15:33,536 --> 00:15:35,327 And do you know why? 244 00:15:40,536 --> 00:15:42,411 You teleported. 245 00:15:48,036 --> 00:15:50,953 From right over here, to right over there. 246 00:15:51,036 --> 00:15:53,286 Thirty feet. 247 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:56,078 From the piano to behind the desk. 248 00:15:56,161 --> 00:15:57,828 Whoosh! 249 00:15:57,911 --> 00:16:00,245 Just like that. 250 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:03,120 And I-- I was shocked. I-- I couldn't believe it. 251 00:16:03,203 --> 00:16:05,494 So I quickly asked you about it, 252 00:16:05,577 --> 00:16:09,786 and, even more strangely, you denied it. 253 00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:12,911 And I wanted to find the truth. 254 00:16:12,995 --> 00:16:14,494 So I asked you again. You denied it again. 255 00:16:14,577 --> 00:16:15,869 Back and forth we went-- 256 00:16:15,953 --> 00:16:18,619 for four minutes this conversation went on. 257 00:16:18,703 --> 00:16:21,786 Well, finally, I-- I started doubting myself. 258 00:16:21,869 --> 00:16:24,369 Do you know what that's like? 259 00:16:24,452 --> 00:16:27,078 When part of you deeply believes that something is true, 260 00:16:27,161 --> 00:16:32,411 and another part of you doubts yourself to your very core? 261 00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:35,828 Until you start to doubt... 262 00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:38,869 any experience you might have. 263 00:16:38,953 --> 00:16:41,327 Oh... 264 00:16:41,411 --> 00:16:43,869 it's-- it's dark. 265 00:16:45,203 --> 00:16:47,619 It's a lot darker than... 266 00:16:47,703 --> 00:16:50,078 the life of Ludwig van Beethoven, 267 00:16:50,161 --> 00:16:51,577 I'll tell ya that. 268 00:16:53,661 --> 00:16:56,953 Makes it impossible to get close to anyone. 269 00:16:57,036 --> 00:17:02,619 Because you know something they can't, 270 00:17:02,703 --> 00:17:05,911 and even if you do get close enough 271 00:17:05,995 --> 00:17:07,619 to confess it to someone, 272 00:17:07,703 --> 00:17:09,661 like, say, your college girlfriend, 273 00:17:09,744 --> 00:17:13,245 oh... it doesn't go very well. 274 00:17:15,036 --> 00:17:17,161 So then you keep it a secret. 275 00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:21,619 But that creates a wall between you and other people. 276 00:17:21,703 --> 00:17:24,245 You talk to therapists, to psychiatrists, 277 00:17:24,327 --> 00:17:26,661 to hypnotists, and no one believes you, 278 00:17:26,744 --> 00:17:30,411 and even the medication stops working the way it should, 279 00:17:30,494 --> 00:17:33,619 which makes you doubt yourself even more. 280 00:17:36,786 --> 00:17:41,245 So what do you do? You work a menial job, and... 281 00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,661 you just get by. 282 00:17:46,661 --> 00:17:48,995 Until, finally... 283 00:17:49,078 --> 00:17:51,536 you come to the terrifying conclusion 284 00:17:51,619 --> 00:17:55,828 that even though it makes no earthly sense... 285 00:17:55,911 --> 00:18:00,953 that Mr. Mulvahill, the baseball coach and music teacher, 286 00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:04,577 harbors the powers of teleportation, 287 00:18:04,661 --> 00:18:07,452 you know what you saw! 288 00:18:07,536 --> 00:18:09,577 And you believe it-- 289 00:18:09,661 --> 00:18:11,245 no matter what anyone else says. 290 00:18:11,327 --> 00:18:13,828 Now, I know what you're thinking. 291 00:18:13,911 --> 00:18:18,661 Why wait 40 years to confront you about it? 292 00:18:18,744 --> 00:18:21,036 Well, that's a very good question. 293 00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:25,036 Believe me, I have been thinking about this every day, 294 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:28,327 multiple times a day, for the past 40 years. 295 00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:30,953 Who and what you might be, 296 00:18:31,036 --> 00:18:35,078 and why you did what you did to me. 297 00:18:35,161 --> 00:18:37,744 Now, ultimately, 298 00:18:37,828 --> 00:18:42,953 I decided that I can live without knowing why. 299 00:18:43,036 --> 00:18:45,869 But mm-mm. What I can't stand 300 00:18:45,953 --> 00:18:50,869 is the .001 percent chance that it didn't happen. 301 00:18:52,203 --> 00:18:54,036 What if I'm crazy? 302 00:18:56,036 --> 00:18:59,619 What if I... blinked 303 00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:01,953 or had a blackout, 304 00:19:02,036 --> 00:19:04,411 and there was no teleportation whatsoever? 305 00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:09,828 That's when I knew I needed to confront you, 306 00:19:09,911 --> 00:19:12,911 I needed to speak to you, try and get the truth. 307 00:19:12,995 --> 00:19:16,327 And, well, we went through that, 308 00:19:16,411 --> 00:19:19,161 and it worked out just as I thought: fruitless. 309 00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:22,869 So then I thought, well, why not capture him 310 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,661 and threaten his life until he tells me the truth? 311 00:19:25,744 --> 00:19:27,661 Well, look, you and I both know 312 00:19:27,744 --> 00:19:30,369 that if my life were threatened 313 00:19:30,452 --> 00:19:32,869 unless I admitted to something ridiculous, 314 00:19:32,953 --> 00:19:35,536 like, say, I don't know, I had 39 testicles, 315 00:19:35,619 --> 00:19:36,911 I would do it. Of course. 316 00:19:36,995 --> 00:19:38,327 I would lie. Wouldn't you? 317 00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:40,286 Of course you would. 318 00:19:40,369 --> 00:19:43,703 And that's why I've never confronted you before. 319 00:19:43,786 --> 00:19:49,327 I could never figure out a strategy... 320 00:19:49,411 --> 00:19:51,619 to come up with the truth. 321 00:19:51,703 --> 00:19:54,577 Then, one day, when I was eating Corn Pops 322 00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:56,703 and listening to This American Life, 323 00:19:56,786 --> 00:19:59,203 it hit me like a bolt of lightning. 324 00:19:59,286 --> 00:20:02,203 Ha ha! Of course! 325 00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:06,203 If I tell him that he's only got 60 seconds 326 00:20:06,286 --> 00:20:09,411 before I put this baseball bat through his skull, 327 00:20:09,494 --> 00:20:12,411 well, that should give him enough time, right? 328 00:20:12,494 --> 00:20:14,369 If he can teleport, he will. 329 00:20:14,452 --> 00:20:17,286 Because if not... he's dead. 330 00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:20,869 ( clears throat ) 331 00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:23,245 - Fifty seconds. - Please wait. 332 00:20:23,327 --> 00:20:24,619 Please! Please-- 333 00:20:24,703 --> 00:20:26,536 D-Don't do this. 334 00:20:26,619 --> 00:20:27,869 I'll do anything you want. 335 00:20:27,953 --> 00:20:29,327 We're past that, Mr. Mulvahill. 336 00:20:29,411 --> 00:20:30,744 Look into your heart. 337 00:20:30,828 --> 00:20:32,494 You know this is not the right thing to do. 338 00:20:32,577 --> 00:20:34,078 But I need to do it. 339 00:20:34,161 --> 00:20:36,120 But you know you have doubts. 340 00:20:36,203 --> 00:20:37,953 Just the tiniest of doubts. 341 00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:40,577 But what you are claiming is impossible. 342 00:20:40,661 --> 00:20:43,036 Man cannot teleport himself! 343 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:44,911 Religion is impossible, but man believes it... 344 00:20:44,995 --> 00:20:46,828 But I know you are a man of reason! 345 00:20:46,911 --> 00:20:48,869 Ah, you don't really know me. Thirty seconds. 346 00:20:48,953 --> 00:20:50,577 ( hyperventilating ) 347 00:20:50,661 --> 00:20:52,619 In 30 seconds you'll commit murder. 348 00:20:52,703 --> 00:20:54,286 I don't believe that's true. 349 00:20:54,369 --> 00:20:55,452 But you're not sure. 350 00:20:55,536 --> 00:20:56,911 And if you're not sure, 351 00:20:56,995 --> 00:20:59,619 - then-- - I need to find out! 352 00:20:59,703 --> 00:21:02,120 If your life is dark now, 353 00:21:02,203 --> 00:21:05,744 there'll be no hope for you after you've killed an innocent man. 354 00:21:05,828 --> 00:21:07,369 I don't believe you're innocent! 355 00:21:07,452 --> 00:21:09,703 But you'll never know! 356 00:21:09,786 --> 00:21:11,536 Because I'll be dead! 357 00:21:12,911 --> 00:21:14,327 Please don't do this. 358 00:21:14,411 --> 00:21:16,286 Don't do this to me! 359 00:21:16,369 --> 00:21:18,995 - To yourself! - Ten seconds. 360 00:21:21,245 --> 00:21:23,577 Oh, dear God, help me! 361 00:21:23,661 --> 00:21:27,869 - Please! Please help me! - Help! No one can hear you. 362 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,245 - Six seconds. - Oh, God! 363 00:21:30,327 --> 00:21:32,120 Oh, God! Oh, God, please! 364 00:21:32,203 --> 00:21:33,619 No, no! No! 365 00:21:33,703 --> 00:21:35,661 - Three... - Oh, God! No, no! 366 00:21:35,744 --> 00:21:38,203 - two... - No! 367 00:21:42,536 --> 00:21:45,828 ( no audio ) 368 00:22:02,078 --> 00:22:03,036 ( whooshing ) 369 00:22:05,911 --> 00:22:07,161 Jim: Oh! 370 00:22:07,245 --> 00:22:09,286 ( panting ) 371 00:22:23,286 --> 00:22:25,911 ( "Ode to Joy" playing ) 372 00:22:38,953 --> 00:22:40,911 ( laughing ) 373 00:22:43,327 --> 00:22:46,078 ( "Ode to Joy" continues playing ) 374 00:23:50,327 --> 00:23:51,161 WOMAN: So, what's your real name? 375 00:23:51,452 --> 00:23:52,744 (IN RUSSIAN ACCENT) Do you like vodka? 376 00:23:52,828 --> 00:23:55,452 (RAPPING) Ian Brzezinski. They all want to sex me. 377 00:23:55,536 --> 00:23:57,245 The honeys always wanna (YELPS) 378 00:23:57,327 --> 00:23:58,494 -(GASPS) -What? 379 00:23:58,577 --> 00:24:00,369 -(ELECTRICAL SIZZLING) -♪ (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 380 00:24:01,078 --> 00:24:02,577 Would you like a salad course?