1 00:00:09,202 --> 00:00:11,202 ( music playing ) 2 00:00:41,327 --> 00:00:43,452 ( playing old-world sounding anthem ) 3 00:01:06,994 --> 00:01:09,994 ( Russian accent ) Shut up. You are such a silly man. 4 00:01:10,078 --> 00:01:12,494 You think I don't know what my job is. 5 00:01:12,577 --> 00:01:14,828 All I do is create chaos. 6 00:01:14,911 --> 00:01:16,536 That is what you're going to get. 7 00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,452 Trust me, I'm quite serious. 8 00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:20,202 I already started putting more money 9 00:01:20,285 --> 00:01:22,494 into groups of little punks in Grozny, 10 00:01:22,577 --> 00:01:24,828 nationalistic skinheads... 11 00:01:27,285 --> 00:01:28,661 Doesn't matter. 12 00:01:29,702 --> 00:01:30,994 Doesn't matter. 13 00:01:31,078 --> 00:01:32,410 Listen. Two things matter: 14 00:01:32,494 --> 00:01:33,994 They need to have a good name 15 00:01:34,078 --> 00:01:36,078 so that they seem like a movement. 16 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,661 But then also crucial is we have to fund 17 00:01:38,744 --> 00:01:42,244 the little whatever-they're-called young socialists 18 00:01:42,327 --> 00:01:44,410 or whatever is the opposite. 19 00:01:44,494 --> 00:01:47,869 Yes. Non-skinheads. 20 00:01:47,953 --> 00:01:51,869 Hey... get some hippie kids from the university 21 00:01:51,953 --> 00:01:55,619 who listen to folk music and love gays and Pussy Riot 22 00:01:55,702 --> 00:01:58,661 and the "power to the people." 23 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:00,160 Yes. Exactly. 24 00:02:00,244 --> 00:02:02,078 It definitely will confuse some people. 25 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,744 We need to confuse some people. 26 00:02:04,828 --> 00:02:05,994 We got this. 27 00:02:06,078 --> 00:02:08,744 The takeaway here is, I am on a trip. 28 00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:10,160 I will be right back. 29 00:02:10,244 --> 00:02:11,869 It is personal. 30 00:02:11,953 --> 00:02:15,702 That is why they are called personal days. 31 00:02:15,786 --> 00:02:18,536 Just tell them, "You either ride with us 32 00:02:18,619 --> 00:02:20,036 or collide with us." 33 00:02:22,078 --> 00:02:25,702 Yes, you might say, "You have no choice." 34 00:02:25,786 --> 00:02:28,327 Or "My way or the highway." 35 00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:32,327 But someone who is a non-idiot 36 00:02:32,410 --> 00:02:35,536 might say what I have suggested. 37 00:02:35,619 --> 00:02:40,911 You are aware that sometimes you come off like you've never managed a democracy before. 38 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:41,911 Peace. 39 00:02:44,452 --> 00:02:45,577 My God. 40 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,160 I do not even really have time to take a shower. 41 00:02:50,244 --> 00:02:52,494 She's supposed to get here at 8:00. 42 00:02:52,577 --> 00:02:54,160 ( Russian accent ) You'll never be sad 43 00:02:54,244 --> 00:02:56,911 if you take a shower before you meet a woman. 44 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,036 ( door slams, water running ) 45 00:03:04,119 --> 00:03:06,202 - How's your room? - It's a dump. 46 00:03:06,285 --> 00:03:09,327 It's fine. It's identical to this one. 47 00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:12,619 ( as Liz Taylor doing Bette Davis) "What a dump! What's that from?" 48 00:03:12,702 --> 00:03:15,619 - ( water shuts off ) - Liz Taylor doing Bette Davis. 49 00:03:15,702 --> 00:03:17,911 I know! That's what she says. She asks that. 50 00:03:17,994 --> 00:03:19,702 She says "What's this from?" 51 00:03:19,786 --> 00:03:21,869 - It's in the play, it's not me. - I know. 52 00:03:21,953 --> 00:03:24,869 But seriously, why did you choose this place? 53 00:03:24,953 --> 00:03:28,119 Yeah, I did not want to come on too strong, you know. Too fancy. 54 00:03:28,202 --> 00:03:32,160 She seems very down-to-earth in her emails. 55 00:03:32,244 --> 00:03:34,369 Well, I won't be out too late tonight. 56 00:03:34,452 --> 00:03:36,369 If this one-horse town has no piano bar, 57 00:03:36,452 --> 00:03:38,744 I will search out this famous "Walmart." 58 00:03:38,828 --> 00:03:41,911 It's so nice to see how different countries do their packaging. 59 00:03:41,994 --> 00:03:43,119 I love it. 60 00:03:43,202 --> 00:03:44,744 There I will buy a six-pack of beer 61 00:03:44,828 --> 00:03:47,160 because for some reason there is no hotel bar here. 62 00:03:47,244 --> 00:03:49,244 Which was definitely your mistake. 63 00:03:49,327 --> 00:03:52,577 You know something, most girls do not want to meet a man 64 00:03:52,661 --> 00:03:55,410 for the first time in a motel room. 65 00:03:55,494 --> 00:03:58,244 I explained the situation and I already said 66 00:03:58,327 --> 00:04:00,911 there will be security here and all that. 67 00:04:00,994 --> 00:04:03,786 She understands. It's normal. 68 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:06,452 It's normal perhaps for some kind of important 69 00:04:06,536 --> 00:04:08,452 political technologist in our country, 70 00:04:08,536 --> 00:04:10,202 but for her it's non-standard. 71 00:04:10,285 --> 00:04:11,744 Let me see you. 72 00:04:11,828 --> 00:04:14,619 Bars, public spaces, that's normal. 73 00:04:14,702 --> 00:04:16,244 - Hmm. - No, no, no. 74 00:04:16,327 --> 00:04:17,410 I'm sure it's fine. 75 00:04:17,494 --> 00:04:19,828 You trust each other. I get it. 76 00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:22,536 Well. 77 00:04:22,619 --> 00:04:27,369 I am not going to try to sleep with her. 78 00:04:27,452 --> 00:04:30,953 I'm going to try to really make a connection. 79 00:04:31,036 --> 00:04:32,160 ( giggles ) 80 00:04:32,244 --> 00:04:35,285 Hi, I'm Darla Andrews. I'm... 81 00:04:35,369 --> 00:04:37,244 Oh... ( giggles ) 82 00:04:37,327 --> 00:04:39,911 Okay, um... yeah. 83 00:04:41,536 --> 00:04:43,327 Ms. Darla Andrews. 84 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:47,911 Uh, hi. 85 00:04:47,994 --> 00:04:49,953 - Hello. - Hi, I'm Darla. 86 00:04:50,036 --> 00:04:53,410 Ochin'priyatna. So nice to meet you, Darla. 87 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,577 I'm so sorry, but I have to run. 88 00:04:55,661 --> 00:04:56,577 Oh. 89 00:05:00,619 --> 00:05:02,285 You must be Nathan. 90 00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:05,452 Ciao. "Nathan." 91 00:05:05,536 --> 00:05:07,160 ( giggles ) 92 00:05:07,244 --> 00:05:08,911 ( door closes ) 93 00:05:12,285 --> 00:05:16,244 Thank you for coming to meet me. 94 00:05:16,327 --> 00:05:17,911 I was looking forward to it. 95 00:05:17,994 --> 00:05:21,994 Yes, please. This way. 96 00:05:22,078 --> 00:05:26,119 - Oh, thank you. - Yes. 97 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:30,202 ( clears throat ) It's fancy. 98 00:05:30,285 --> 00:05:35,327 I have very much enjoyed our correspondence. 99 00:05:35,410 --> 00:05:37,160 Oh, I... 100 00:05:37,244 --> 00:05:39,036 I just think you're such a great writer. 101 00:05:39,119 --> 00:05:41,494 It has been such a pleasure. Really. 102 00:05:41,577 --> 00:05:45,410 Eh. I am an amateur at best. 103 00:05:45,494 --> 00:05:46,994 ( laughs ) Oh, no. 104 00:05:47,078 --> 00:05:49,494 You are very lovely in person. 105 00:05:49,577 --> 00:05:51,994 - Thank you. - Hmm. 106 00:05:55,119 --> 00:05:56,577 I hope I look like my picture. 107 00:05:56,661 --> 00:05:57,869 At least enough. 108 00:05:57,953 --> 00:06:00,536 - Totally! Do not worry! - ( phone rings ) 109 00:06:00,619 --> 00:06:04,911 Oh, unbelievable! Fuck my mother. 110 00:06:04,994 --> 00:06:06,536 Eh... 111 00:06:06,619 --> 00:06:08,327 I have to take this. 112 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:09,869 So sorry for the swearing. 113 00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:12,702 I did not want to be called when I am just meeting you. 114 00:06:12,786 --> 00:06:14,327 Bastards. 115 00:06:14,410 --> 00:06:16,828 You do very high-level English language swearing. 116 00:06:16,911 --> 00:06:17,953 Hello. 117 00:06:18,036 --> 00:06:20,536 Yes. I told you I was doing it. 118 00:06:20,619 --> 00:06:25,536 Hell yes, I told everybody I was doing it. 119 00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:27,369 Oh. Thanks. 120 00:06:27,452 --> 00:06:29,994 The question you need to be asking is, 121 00:06:30,119 --> 00:06:34,160 how can you afford not to back your own enemies? 122 00:06:34,244 --> 00:06:35,369 ( cork pops ) 123 00:06:35,452 --> 00:06:37,494 No rational person would do that, 124 00:06:37,577 --> 00:06:42,494 so then how can they understand that we did it? 125 00:06:42,577 --> 00:06:44,577 - Exactly! They can't. - Oh, thank you. 126 00:06:44,661 --> 00:06:47,244 Some biker gangs are also supporting us. 127 00:06:47,327 --> 00:06:49,786 And I have a Black Panther type thing 128 00:06:49,869 --> 00:06:52,744 in the works I haven't even announced yet. 129 00:06:52,828 --> 00:06:55,619 That's right, baby! They won't even know what hit them! 130 00:06:55,702 --> 00:06:56,577 ( giggles ) 131 00:06:56,661 --> 00:06:59,869 Bam! Be gone. All right. 132 00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,577 I'm so sorry. 133 00:07:01,661 --> 00:07:03,410 I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but you seen like you've been 134 00:07:03,494 --> 00:07:06,911 a little modest about having such a fancy job. 135 00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:09,244 I do not admire false modesty. 136 00:07:09,327 --> 00:07:14,160 It's true that in my country I have some influence. 137 00:07:14,244 --> 00:07:16,244 The people we are discussing 138 00:07:16,327 --> 00:07:19,536 will be like your cartoon characters, 139 00:07:19,619 --> 00:07:23,869 with the birds and the stars spinning around the head area. 140 00:07:23,953 --> 00:07:24,828 Bam! 141 00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:26,452 ( chuckles ) 142 00:07:26,536 --> 00:07:30,661 But although I have been a person of influence, 143 00:07:30,744 --> 00:07:33,078 that is not why I am here. 144 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:38,244 Oh, I don't think you came all this way just to like, "influence" me. 145 00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:41,786 A side effect of having influence 146 00:07:41,869 --> 00:07:45,619 is that it can be distorting to you personally. 147 00:07:45,702 --> 00:07:49,119 Like how, um... rich people never know 148 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:52,244 if someone really likes them or just wants their money? 149 00:07:52,327 --> 00:07:55,828 Yes, I would expect it would be similar. 150 00:07:55,911 --> 00:07:56,994 Hmm. 151 00:07:57,078 --> 00:08:00,036 It is a funhouse mirror, in a way, 152 00:08:00,119 --> 00:08:04,994 and then you forget what you really look like. 153 00:08:05,078 --> 00:08:09,410 I used to know more rich people, and they had worries like that. 154 00:08:09,494 --> 00:08:12,828 I used to make more money, too, that's why-- 155 00:08:12,911 --> 00:08:16,828 I mean, I'm-I'm doing good. I'm fine now. 156 00:08:16,911 --> 00:08:20,953 I'm great, actually. This looks delicious. 157 00:08:21,036 --> 00:08:24,410 I'm glad that it appeals to you. 158 00:08:28,702 --> 00:08:33,327 So, where you're from, um, what does it signify 159 00:08:33,410 --> 00:08:35,869 when a man wears, um-- 160 00:08:35,953 --> 00:08:38,536 So, you are a veterinarian? 161 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:42,536 Um... almost. 162 00:08:42,619 --> 00:08:44,744 I am a veterinary nurse. 163 00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:47,536 You care for baby animals. 164 00:08:47,619 --> 00:08:49,911 Yup, and they love it. 165 00:08:49,994 --> 00:08:52,202 You, uh, put the medicines 166 00:08:52,285 --> 00:08:55,327 in their eyes and their ears. 167 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:58,911 - Yeah, all that. - That is nice, isn't it? 168 00:08:58,994 --> 00:09:01,911 Yeah. It's so pure, how people love their pets. 169 00:09:01,994 --> 00:09:04,661 Sometimes it is hard, though, when I... 170 00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:08,661 when I can't help them, but it's always really real. 171 00:09:08,744 --> 00:09:10,828 And that can be hard to come by. 172 00:09:10,911 --> 00:09:13,327 What is that supposed to mean? 173 00:09:15,786 --> 00:09:17,661 Nothing. I... 174 00:09:17,744 --> 00:09:19,619 I'm so sorry. 175 00:09:19,702 --> 00:09:21,911 Sometimes I stress myself out. 176 00:09:21,994 --> 00:09:24,244 Of course, you are just talking about, 177 00:09:24,327 --> 00:09:27,994 uh, "keeping it real," right? 178 00:09:28,078 --> 00:09:30,953 Exactly. Yeah. 179 00:09:31,036 --> 00:09:34,953 It's just, you know... 180 00:09:35,036 --> 00:09:37,494 talking about my job. 181 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,869 Do you like vodka? 182 00:09:39,953 --> 00:09:41,661 Yeah. 183 00:09:41,744 --> 00:09:45,702 I know gay guys who make it a point not to lisp, 184 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:50,661 and French guys who make it a point not to womanize. 185 00:09:50,744 --> 00:09:51,953 But no. 186 00:09:52,036 --> 00:09:56,244 I had to be a Russian who likes vodka. 187 00:09:56,327 --> 00:09:58,744 - ( laughs ) - ( door opens ) 188 00:09:58,828 --> 00:10:03,577 But at least I am not provincial-- 189 00:10:03,661 --> 00:10:07,119 this vodka... is Canadian. 190 00:10:07,202 --> 00:10:09,452 ( both laugh ) 191 00:10:09,536 --> 00:10:10,536 ( knock at door ) 192 00:10:26,786 --> 00:10:28,160 Spasibo. 193 00:10:33,911 --> 00:10:35,744 ( pouring ) 194 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,619 To my first 195 00:10:40,702 --> 00:10:44,078 international internet date. 196 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,536 ( laughs ) Mine, too, actually. 197 00:10:46,619 --> 00:10:48,078 International. 198 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:49,160 ( glasses clink ) 199 00:10:49,244 --> 00:10:50,078 Yes. 200 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:53,078 But, uh, domestic? 201 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:59,744 I mean, I've tried. Uh, You know. 202 00:10:59,828 --> 00:11:03,202 What were they like, the others? 203 00:11:03,285 --> 00:11:04,869 Oh, jeez. 204 00:11:04,953 --> 00:11:07,744 Um, well, one guy, 205 00:11:07,828 --> 00:11:09,786 uh, started telling me on the second drink 206 00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:11,536 how badly he wanted to have kids. 207 00:11:11,619 --> 00:11:12,702 Oof. 208 00:11:12,786 --> 00:11:15,577 So... yeah. 209 00:11:15,661 --> 00:11:17,577 Do you really want to hear about this? 210 00:11:17,661 --> 00:11:18,577 Mm-hmm. 211 00:11:19,911 --> 00:11:21,327 Okay, well, 212 00:11:21,410 --> 00:11:23,202 I really don't care what a guy's job is, 213 00:11:23,285 --> 00:11:26,869 but I did notice when I started going on these dates, 214 00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:29,410 that all of them, the rich ones and the poor ones, 215 00:11:29,494 --> 00:11:32,661 they all seem to think that they should be doing better by now. 216 00:11:32,744 --> 00:11:33,661 You know? 217 00:11:33,744 --> 00:11:35,369 Like making more money, 218 00:11:35,452 --> 00:11:37,327 or just being happier. 219 00:11:37,410 --> 00:11:42,452 It's really tender when a stranger shares something intimate with you. 220 00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,202 You know? 221 00:11:44,285 --> 00:11:46,452 They didn't even know they're transmitting it, 222 00:11:46,536 --> 00:11:50,577 but they were blaring it like neon signs of sadness. 223 00:11:50,661 --> 00:11:52,078 Every single one of them. 224 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:53,119 Hmm. 225 00:11:55,119 --> 00:11:57,285 Was it a lot? 226 00:11:57,369 --> 00:11:58,828 Sometimes. 227 00:11:58,911 --> 00:12:00,619 Some of them just more of like a... 228 00:12:00,702 --> 00:12:02,702 like a slight melancholy vibe. 229 00:12:02,786 --> 00:12:03,661 Guys... 230 00:12:03,744 --> 00:12:07,160 Was it a lot of guys? 231 00:12:07,244 --> 00:12:08,160 Oh. 232 00:12:09,244 --> 00:12:11,160 Oh. 233 00:12:11,244 --> 00:12:12,619 Um... 234 00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:20,911 Well, I didn't sleep with them... 235 00:12:20,994 --> 00:12:22,327 all. 236 00:12:22,410 --> 00:12:25,244 - ( phone vibrates ) - Good. All good. 237 00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:27,410 'Scusey! I-- so sorry. 238 00:12:27,494 --> 00:12:30,577 You see, I'd like to get to know more about you, as a person. 239 00:12:30,661 --> 00:12:35,828 One of my best qualities is my attentive listening and my interest in others. 240 00:12:35,911 --> 00:12:37,661 Idiots. 241 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,202 Do you prefer fish or chicken? 242 00:12:46,285 --> 00:12:47,202 Fish. 243 00:12:47,285 --> 00:12:48,202 Hmm. 244 00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:53,452 - ( clanging ) - ( sighs ) 245 00:12:53,536 --> 00:12:55,285 ( sniffs ) 246 00:12:55,369 --> 00:13:00,119 It was the same when I worked in reality TV. 247 00:13:00,202 --> 00:13:02,202 Listening, observation. 248 00:13:02,285 --> 00:13:04,285 You guys have reality TV? 249 00:13:04,369 --> 00:13:05,953 Of course we do. 250 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:09,369 Do you know that sometimes it isn't totally real? 251 00:13:09,452 --> 00:13:13,327 You know, I think that it used to more real, 252 00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:15,536 - The way you hold attention, - but then it became obvious 253 00:13:15,619 --> 00:13:17,786 - tease people, make them wait, - that they're just casting people 254 00:13:17,869 --> 00:13:20,369 - dazzle them with spectacle, - that we know are gonna flame out 255 00:13:20,452 --> 00:13:23,327 - is very structured. - or be like, "I didn't come here to make friends." 256 00:13:23,410 --> 00:13:24,911 It's not all literally true. 257 00:13:27,036 --> 00:13:28,828 We are saying the same thing, 258 00:13:28,911 --> 00:13:29,994 in fact. 259 00:13:30,078 --> 00:13:31,494 Yeah. 260 00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:36,036 Um... well, I, uh, 261 00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:38,994 have to say I think it's really great that you've been able 262 00:13:39,078 --> 00:13:41,869 to stay so creative while having a government job. 263 00:13:41,953 --> 00:13:46,828 You know, those two things seem really different in my mind, but what do I know? 264 00:13:46,911 --> 00:13:49,994 Um, I was really sad I couldn't read your book. 265 00:13:50,078 --> 00:13:52,994 I looked for it, but I couldn't find it in English. 266 00:13:53,078 --> 00:13:55,202 It is a wonderful book, 267 00:13:55,285 --> 00:13:57,410 but I didn't write it. 268 00:13:57,494 --> 00:13:58,744 You didn't write it? 269 00:13:58,828 --> 00:13:59,828 No. 270 00:13:59,911 --> 00:14:00,911 Oh. 271 00:14:00,994 --> 00:14:02,577 I wish. 272 00:14:02,661 --> 00:14:05,661 It has somebody else's name on it. 273 00:14:05,744 --> 00:14:08,160 Someone else named Nathan Ivanovich? 274 00:14:08,244 --> 00:14:10,702 That is not my name. 275 00:14:10,786 --> 00:14:12,744 A pen name... 276 00:14:12,828 --> 00:14:13,911 I guess so. 277 00:14:13,994 --> 00:14:15,036 Do you like the fish? 278 00:14:15,119 --> 00:14:16,994 So what's your real name? 279 00:14:19,452 --> 00:14:23,911 You know, I also designed a city. 280 00:14:25,786 --> 00:14:27,285 Did I tell you about that? 281 00:14:27,369 --> 00:14:32,369 It's not finished yet, but maybe you could come see it. 282 00:14:32,452 --> 00:14:34,160 What do you like to be called? 283 00:14:34,244 --> 00:14:37,911 I am like the guy who wanted to have a baby with you 284 00:14:37,994 --> 00:14:39,702 on the second drink. 285 00:14:39,786 --> 00:14:44,452 I did not mean to invite you to Russia so soon. I apologize. 286 00:14:44,536 --> 00:14:46,369 Why did you want me to call you by your pen name? 287 00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:48,994 I didn't say it was my pen name. 288 00:14:49,078 --> 00:14:52,452 I mean, the book is a piece of shit. 289 00:14:52,536 --> 00:14:55,953 Ivanovich is a Hamlet-obsessed hack. 290 00:14:56,036 --> 00:15:00,994 I would've been totally embarrassed to have written it. 291 00:15:01,078 --> 00:15:03,452 Let me sign you a copy. 292 00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:07,911 Well, whomever he is, why do you think he's obsessed with Hamlet? 293 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:11,828 Are you kidding? All Russians should be obsessed with Hamlet. 294 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,702 It is the story of power-obsessed men 295 00:15:13,786 --> 00:15:16,078 with small areas of total dominion, 296 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,036 the occasional murder by poisoning 297 00:15:18,119 --> 00:15:20,536 and a basic inability to tell what is real, 298 00:15:20,619 --> 00:15:25,410 what is a ghost, what's happening, who's crazy, and who's sane. 299 00:15:25,494 --> 00:15:27,160 It's brilliant. 300 00:15:40,911 --> 00:15:42,744 What do your friends call you? 301 00:15:42,828 --> 00:15:44,953 That again? 302 00:15:45,036 --> 00:15:46,577 Seriously. 303 00:15:49,410 --> 00:15:50,369 ( mutters ) 304 00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:54,577 Pardon? 305 00:15:54,661 --> 00:15:55,702 ( mutters ) 306 00:15:55,786 --> 00:15:59,160 I still didn't catch it. 307 00:15:59,244 --> 00:16:01,410 ( mutters ) 308 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:05,619 Hey, what is your favorite kind of Russian music? 309 00:16:05,702 --> 00:16:07,953 Oh, I don't really know any Russian music. 310 00:16:08,036 --> 00:16:13,119 I did hear those guys out there, but, uh, that's about it. 311 00:16:13,202 --> 00:16:16,327 Okay, so in this country, 312 00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:20,078 when a man wears a piece of jewelry on this finger, 313 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,494 it typically signifies-- 314 00:16:22,577 --> 00:16:24,828 Nom de plume. 315 00:16:24,911 --> 00:16:27,744 No, that he's married. 316 00:16:27,828 --> 00:16:29,202 So... 317 00:16:29,285 --> 00:16:32,577 Okay, I know that sometimes people lie on their profiles, 318 00:16:32,661 --> 00:16:36,036 like tell little white lies like about their height or their age-- 319 00:16:36,119 --> 00:16:39,160 Nom de guerre like "The Fox," or "The Jackal." 320 00:16:39,244 --> 00:16:42,494 No. That's... 321 00:16:42,577 --> 00:16:46,078 No, I think that there's a language barrier, 'cause what I-- 322 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,494 - Pen name. Real name. - Right. 323 00:16:48,577 --> 00:16:52,536 That's a pen name, and then what's your real name? 324 00:16:52,619 --> 00:16:54,744 - Pen name. - Right, that's a pen name. 325 00:16:54,828 --> 00:16:57,786 Real name, pen name, real name. 326 00:16:59,494 --> 00:17:03,828 Don't matter what you call me. Realest in the game. 327 00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:08,744 ( door opens ) 328 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,202 ♪ Pen name, real name ♪ 329 00:17:10,285 --> 00:17:11,369 ♪ Don't matter what you call me ♪ 330 00:17:11,452 --> 00:17:12,911 ♪ Realest in the game ♪ 331 00:17:12,994 --> 00:17:14,828 ♪ Let me show you what boss means ♪ 332 00:17:14,911 --> 00:17:17,536 ♪ Whips, house, jacket, it don't matter what the cost be ♪ 333 00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:18,786 ♪ Realest in the game ♪ 334 00:17:20,494 --> 00:17:22,828 ♪ The realest around from Kitay down to Kerch ♪ 335 00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:25,869 ♪ If you're looking for a boss you can end your search ♪ 336 00:17:25,953 --> 00:17:27,244 ♪ Real recognize real ♪ 337 00:17:27,327 --> 00:17:29,078 ♪ But the others can't touch this ♪ 338 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,911 ♪ If life is a game, you can say that I've won this ♪ 339 00:17:31,994 --> 00:17:34,994 ♪ In Moscow they love me, in Grozny they want me ♪ 340 00:17:35,078 --> 00:17:37,661 ♪ Down in Khamovniki, they always try to hug me ♪ 341 00:17:37,744 --> 00:17:40,577 ♪ Swing through St. Petersburg, drop a couple stacks ♪ 342 00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:43,828 ♪ Fuck the garment bag, I'ma take the whole rack ♪ 343 00:17:43,911 --> 00:17:46,661 ♪ In Presnensky they all want to sex me ♪ 344 00:17:46,744 --> 00:17:49,536 ♪ In Yakimana the honeys always wanna, huh ♪ 345 00:17:49,619 --> 00:17:52,078 ♪ Crane your neck, catch a glimpse of the man ♪ 346 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:55,744 ♪ Who be runnin' the streets from the Grads to the Stans ♪ 347 00:17:55,828 --> 00:17:57,410 ( playing old-world sounding anthem ) 348 00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,577 Oh, yeah! You know what time it is! 349 00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:02,160 I have my whole squad up in here! 350 00:18:02,244 --> 00:18:04,828 Oh! 351 00:18:04,911 --> 00:18:07,202 ♪ Crimea! Ho! Cry me a damn river! ♪ 352 00:18:07,285 --> 00:18:09,744 ♪ Cash stacked long from Lavry to Dezhnev ♪ 353 00:18:09,828 --> 00:18:12,702 ♪ I've got more whips than the Comrade Brezhnev ♪ 354 00:18:12,786 --> 00:18:15,577 ♪ Speaking of cars, I gotta couple of hundred ♪ 355 00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:18,619 ♪ And a diamond in my chain for every coup that I funded ♪ 356 00:18:18,702 --> 00:18:21,452 ♪ Pen name, real name, don't matter what you call me ♪ 357 00:18:21,536 --> 00:18:24,619 ♪ Lookin' at my wrist, let me teach you how to floss, G ♪ 358 00:18:24,702 --> 00:18:27,702 ♪ Whip, house, jackets, it don't matter what the cost be ♪ 359 00:18:27,786 --> 00:18:31,369 ♪ Greatest rapper ever, now you know who the boss be ♪ 360 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:39,160 ( panting ) 361 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:48,160 What? 362 00:18:50,327 --> 00:18:55,119 No? Oh. Well, okay. 363 00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:56,369 Okay, then. 364 00:18:56,452 --> 00:18:59,702 Eh, gentlemen, give us a minute. 365 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,994 I thought you were going to this famous "Walmart." 366 00:19:08,078 --> 00:19:09,577 Overrated. 367 00:19:12,036 --> 00:19:16,661 Are you okay? We have a salad course. 368 00:19:16,744 --> 00:19:19,244 Would you like a salad course? 369 00:19:19,327 --> 00:19:21,786 I--I don't need a salad course. Um... 370 00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:24,577 ( clears throat ) 371 00:19:24,661 --> 00:19:28,244 I'm very flattered. 372 00:19:28,327 --> 00:19:32,036 You're an incredible singer, and dancer... 373 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:33,702 and rapper. 374 00:19:36,577 --> 00:19:39,410 There's still an elephant in the room, though. 375 00:19:41,369 --> 00:19:44,494 Excuse me just a moment. 376 00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:48,786 ( door closes ) 377 00:19:48,869 --> 00:19:51,202 What's his real name? 378 00:19:51,285 --> 00:19:53,536 You're still on that? 379 00:19:53,619 --> 00:19:55,953 I don't understand, 380 00:19:56,036 --> 00:19:58,953 our emails were so promising. 381 00:19:59,036 --> 00:20:00,285 I know what it's like. 382 00:20:00,369 --> 00:20:01,869 - You do? - Sure. 383 00:20:01,953 --> 00:20:04,619 Being pampered by a charismatic leader in a hotel room... 384 00:20:04,702 --> 00:20:07,536 where maybe even he thinks he's in love with you. 385 00:20:07,619 --> 00:20:09,994 Plus, power is intoxicating. 386 00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:12,244 - So is vodka. - Isn't that what dates are for? 387 00:20:12,327 --> 00:20:15,702 You squint at things and try to see the best in a guy. 388 00:20:15,786 --> 00:20:19,786 I like giving people the benefit of the doubt. I do. 389 00:20:21,202 --> 00:20:23,244 Wait, are you in character right now? 390 00:20:23,327 --> 00:20:24,410 Often. I lose track. 391 00:20:24,494 --> 00:20:27,410 You didn't even Google him? 392 00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:29,786 I didn't think I needed to. 393 00:20:29,869 --> 00:20:31,369 We'd been emailing for months. 394 00:20:31,452 --> 00:20:32,285 I thought-- 395 00:20:32,369 --> 00:20:33,536 Girl, it's not that hard. 396 00:20:33,619 --> 00:20:34,953 Especially after Crimea. 397 00:20:35,036 --> 00:20:36,911 When I walked in here, 398 00:20:36,994 --> 00:20:38,869 he was wearing a wedding ring. 399 00:20:38,953 --> 00:20:40,577 But when I checked again, he wasn't. 400 00:20:40,661 --> 00:20:42,661 And then I swear he just was. 401 00:20:42,744 --> 00:20:47,160 He can be a little bit indecisive about his self-presentation. 402 00:20:48,994 --> 00:20:52,410 Girl. Seriously, what are you doing? 403 00:20:52,494 --> 00:20:56,160 I don't know. 404 00:20:56,244 --> 00:20:58,911 You know what, you're a grown woman. 405 00:20:58,994 --> 00:21:00,160 Figure it out. 406 00:21:01,619 --> 00:21:03,828 ( door opens and closes ) 407 00:21:03,911 --> 00:21:04,744 ( sighs ) 408 00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:09,452 Alas, Nathan Ivanovich. 409 00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:13,078 I never knew you. 410 00:21:15,327 --> 00:21:20,410 I don't know what is, only what seems to be. 411 00:21:21,744 --> 00:21:23,536 Or not to be. 412 00:21:24,828 --> 00:21:27,911 How do we even hold up this heavy life, 413 00:21:27,994 --> 00:21:31,828 which I myself have had a hand in reducing 414 00:21:31,911 --> 00:21:34,911 down to bare survival? 415 00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:36,536 Survival. 416 00:21:38,327 --> 00:21:41,953 Survival sucks, but it is possible 417 00:21:42,036 --> 00:21:45,202 death is worse. 418 00:21:48,619 --> 00:21:53,036 Of all the things I have been party to, 419 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:56,494 I, who have the power 420 00:21:56,577 --> 00:22:00,494 to bend the course of history, 421 00:22:00,577 --> 00:22:03,869 have come up against a problem-- 422 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,036 one small woman... 423 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:11,577 and who to be to her. 424 00:22:15,536 --> 00:22:18,536 I should be real to her. 425 00:22:20,078 --> 00:22:23,577 Unless I am corroded to my depth. 426 00:22:26,828 --> 00:22:29,911 I am out of scale. I feel myself so. 427 00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:36,160 I should give it a whirl. 428 00:22:40,619 --> 00:22:44,285 ( door opens ) 429 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,285 Are you married? 430 00:22:54,410 --> 00:22:57,285 Well, yes and no. 431 00:22:57,369 --> 00:22:58,661 ( sighs ) 432 00:22:58,744 --> 00:23:00,244 I just Googled you. 433 00:23:00,327 --> 00:23:02,536 And if I'm not mistaken, 434 00:23:02,619 --> 00:23:04,619 you have a wife. 435 00:23:05,786 --> 00:23:07,536 You can Google me? 436 00:23:07,619 --> 00:23:09,702 Yeah. I can. 437 00:23:09,786 --> 00:23:11,577 It was pretty easy, too. 438 00:23:11,661 --> 00:23:14,828 It would've been easier if you didn't have so many pseudonyms. 439 00:23:14,911 --> 00:23:17,452 Hmm. 440 00:23:17,536 --> 00:23:21,619 So, do you and your wife have some sort of arrangement? 441 00:23:21,702 --> 00:23:24,536 Eh, yes and no. 442 00:23:24,619 --> 00:23:27,036 What's that supposed to mean? 443 00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:28,911 Well, I mean, sort of. 444 00:23:28,994 --> 00:23:30,244 There's no sort of. 445 00:23:30,327 --> 00:23:32,369 Either you're married or you aren't, 446 00:23:32,452 --> 00:23:34,953 or your wife and you have an arrangement or you don't. 447 00:23:35,036 --> 00:23:36,369 Don't get upset. 448 00:23:36,452 --> 00:23:38,036 I'm not upset. 449 00:23:41,036 --> 00:23:43,494 I just need to know. 450 00:23:43,577 --> 00:23:46,953 I mean, I'm not above casual sex, 451 00:23:47,036 --> 00:23:50,828 but I think we both know that's not why we're here. 452 00:23:52,869 --> 00:23:56,828 I really liked writing to you and I like talking to you 453 00:23:56,911 --> 00:24:01,869 and now we're in a hotel room and I need to know. 454 00:24:08,702 --> 00:24:12,702 Why didn't you ask me before about being married. 455 00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:15,036 Because you checked the box. 456 00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:16,119 What box? 457 00:24:16,202 --> 00:24:19,119 The one about being single. 458 00:24:19,202 --> 00:24:21,244 Oops. 459 00:24:21,327 --> 00:24:22,244 ( sighs ) 460 00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,078 Did you lie about the sex questions, too? 461 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:32,369 No. No, no, no, no. Of course not. Never. 462 00:24:32,452 --> 00:24:34,619 It would mess up the algorithm. 463 00:24:34,702 --> 00:24:37,285 ( sighs ) 464 00:24:37,369 --> 00:24:39,994 What's the point of having a girlfriend or a mistress 465 00:24:40,078 --> 00:24:41,994 or whatever it is you want me to be 466 00:24:42,078 --> 00:24:43,869 if you're just gonna act the same way you do 467 00:24:43,953 --> 00:24:46,244 at home, or at work, or whatever? 468 00:24:47,744 --> 00:24:49,577 I know. 469 00:24:49,661 --> 00:24:53,078 This is the tragedy of my life. 470 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:54,953 ( scoffs ) 471 00:24:55,036 --> 00:24:57,869 Do you know the tragedy of my life? 472 00:24:59,953 --> 00:25:01,078 No. 473 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,410 I know. Because you never asked me. 474 00:25:03,494 --> 00:25:04,994 You're really charming on the internet, 475 00:25:05,078 --> 00:25:06,494 but then in person, you don't even ask me 476 00:25:06,577 --> 00:25:08,327 shit like what's the tragedy of my life 477 00:25:08,410 --> 00:25:10,953 or even if my parents are alive. 478 00:25:11,036 --> 00:25:12,786 I know your parents are alive because it came up 479 00:25:12,869 --> 00:25:16,661 in the email when you went back to Wisconsin. 480 00:25:16,744 --> 00:25:18,994 For my dad's funeral. 481 00:25:21,702 --> 00:25:24,119 This is not my first language. 482 00:25:27,244 --> 00:25:32,369 Don't you even wanna try being honest just for like one day, like for an experiment? 483 00:25:32,452 --> 00:25:35,410 - ( stammers ) - ( scoffs ) 484 00:25:35,494 --> 00:25:39,536 Look, I need to be around someone real, 485 00:25:39,619 --> 00:25:42,244 and, Darla, I can feel that about you. 486 00:25:42,327 --> 00:25:44,994 You are so freaking real. 487 00:25:45,078 --> 00:25:48,369 And... all I do is create chaos-- 488 00:25:48,452 --> 00:25:50,036 which is remarkably effective-- 489 00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:51,994 but you are actually, truly real. 490 00:25:52,078 --> 00:25:54,410 And that-that is what I need. 491 00:25:54,494 --> 00:25:55,994 That is why I am here. 492 00:25:56,078 --> 00:25:58,619 I'm sorry. I... I'm gonna go. 493 00:25:58,702 --> 00:26:00,452 No, no, no, no, no! Please, please. 494 00:26:00,536 --> 00:26:02,953 Please stay just for a little longer. 495 00:26:03,036 --> 00:26:05,078 Hey, stay for dessert. 496 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:06,577 A wonderful white chocolate mousse. 497 00:26:06,661 --> 00:26:09,327 I need to go. Oh, my God. 498 00:26:09,410 --> 00:26:11,410 ( speaking Russian ) 499 00:26:11,494 --> 00:26:15,160 No, no, no, they are saying that it is not safe for you 500 00:26:15,244 --> 00:26:18,410 to leave because there is a... wildfire. 501 00:26:18,494 --> 00:26:20,828 I don't see any wildfire. 502 00:26:20,911 --> 00:26:22,869 ( speaking Russian ) 503 00:26:26,661 --> 00:26:28,911 Oh, yes. They are saying there is a shooting. 504 00:26:28,994 --> 00:26:30,577 It's not safe for you to go. 505 00:26:30,661 --> 00:26:32,577 I didn't hear any shooting, did you? 506 00:26:32,661 --> 00:26:36,244 Some threat of shooting or a bomb threat or something like that. 507 00:26:36,327 --> 00:26:38,869 I don't believe you. 508 00:26:38,953 --> 00:26:41,702 - ( jiggling doorknob) - All right. 509 00:26:41,786 --> 00:26:43,953 Oh, my God! 510 00:26:44,036 --> 00:26:46,078 They lock it from the outside? 511 00:26:47,869 --> 00:26:50,285 No, no, please, please relax. 512 00:26:50,369 --> 00:26:51,619 ( sighs ) 513 00:26:51,702 --> 00:26:53,994 You'll break the knob. 514 00:26:54,078 --> 00:26:56,619 Thank you for staying. 515 00:26:56,702 --> 00:27:00,285 It means a lot to me. 516 00:27:00,369 --> 00:27:05,410 There is so much to say about the tragedy of my life. 517 00:27:05,494 --> 00:27:06,994 And from your writing, 518 00:27:07,078 --> 00:27:11,619 I believe you will really be able to understand the pains 519 00:27:11,702 --> 00:27:13,119 that come from being 520 00:27:13,202 --> 00:27:16,953 such an important political technologist. 521 00:27:17,036 --> 00:27:20,369 You see, it started when I was a child. 522 00:27:23,244 --> 00:27:26,661 At the academy in the mountains, 523 00:27:26,744 --> 00:27:30,202 the Ural Mountains. 524 00:27:30,285 --> 00:27:34,160 - They can be beautiful... - ( sighs ) 525 00:27:34,244 --> 00:27:36,410 but they can be deadly. 526 00:27:36,494 --> 00:27:39,410 ( old-world sounding anthem playing ) 527 00:28:38,619 --> 00:28:40,452 -♪ (LOW BASS MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ -(SIZZLING) 528 00:28:40,994 --> 00:28:43,786 Thank you for doing what nobody else seems to understand. 529 00:28:44,119 --> 00:28:46,244 I'm excited for this, and for my turn next. 530 00:28:46,327 --> 00:28:48,327 It didn't hurt much at all, by the way. 531 00:28:48,410 --> 00:28:52,327 Oh. Shall we, before it gets cold? (LAUGHS)