1 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:12,316 ( music playing ) 2 00:00:37,940 --> 00:00:40,899 - Oh. - Man: Hello. 3 00:00:40,982 --> 00:00:43,232 I am so sorry. I have the wrong room. 4 00:00:43,316 --> 00:00:45,940 - Uh, no, it's fine. Come in. - I completely apologize. 5 00:00:46,024 --> 00:00:47,398 No, please! Please, I insist. Come in. 6 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:50,107 - Really? - Wow! Please come in. 7 00:00:50,191 --> 00:00:52,899 Wh-- Please! You should come inside. Come inside. 8 00:00:52,982 --> 00:00:54,899 Don't be shy. What a surprise. 9 00:00:54,982 --> 00:00:56,690 It's nice to have company. 10 00:00:56,774 --> 00:00:59,107 This is the right room. I promise you. 11 00:00:59,191 --> 00:01:00,648 - Oh. - Come on in. 12 00:01:00,732 --> 00:01:02,774 - I'm Rosie. Hi. - Come on in! Hey! 13 00:01:02,857 --> 00:01:05,274 - I'm Erol. - OK. Nice to meet you. Um-- 14 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:08,357 Make yourself comfortable. I haven't seen anyone for days. 15 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,440 This is a nice room, this is much bigger-- 16 00:01:10,523 --> 00:01:13,107 How much are you paying per night? My room's like half this size. 17 00:01:13,191 --> 00:01:16,607 - I live here, actually. Yeah. - You live here? Oh, cool. OK. 18 00:01:16,690 --> 00:01:19,107 - Yeah, shut the door. - Yeah, I'm just worried, 19 00:01:19,191 --> 00:01:21,232 I meant to find-- We're staying in 217. 20 00:01:21,316 --> 00:01:23,523 The hallway is really... funny, and I-- 21 00:01:23,607 --> 00:01:26,107 - Shut the door. That's fine. - But anyway, yeah. 22 00:01:26,191 --> 00:01:27,982 Yeah, it's tricky. But you're here now, 23 00:01:28,066 --> 00:01:30,274 - and that's all that matters. - Yeah. 24 00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:32,149 Well, gee, what a nice surprise. 25 00:01:32,232 --> 00:01:34,149 Oh, are you an artist? Look at that! 26 00:01:34,232 --> 00:01:36,232 I tell you what, it's a little-- 27 00:01:36,316 --> 00:01:37,648 Why don't you make yourself comfortable? 28 00:01:37,732 --> 00:01:39,565 - Get out of that, um... - Get out of this...? 29 00:01:39,648 --> 00:01:41,316 This-- This thing. 30 00:01:41,398 --> 00:01:43,482 It's a little warm in here. Take that off. 31 00:01:43,565 --> 00:01:46,066 Oh. I guess it is kind of warm. 32 00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:48,565 - Um, OK. - Yeah. 33 00:01:48,648 --> 00:01:51,940 That's nice. That's very nice. 34 00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,690 Yeah. That's good. 35 00:01:53,774 --> 00:01:56,523 Yeah, just throw it-- just toss it anywhere. 36 00:01:56,607 --> 00:01:57,982 Great, great, great. 37 00:01:58,066 --> 00:02:00,274 So, yeah, um... 38 00:02:00,357 --> 00:02:01,982 j-just... 39 00:02:02,066 --> 00:02:03,607 make yourself comfortable. 40 00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:06,316 You've seen me, I'm in my underwear. 41 00:02:06,398 --> 00:02:07,982 You should take that skirt off. 42 00:02:08,066 --> 00:02:11,191 You know, get yourself in your... underwear. 43 00:02:11,274 --> 00:02:13,066 Yeah. 44 00:02:13,149 --> 00:02:15,398 Oh that's-- that's nice. Wow. 45 00:02:15,482 --> 00:02:17,982 Nice legs. You a dancer? 46 00:02:18,066 --> 00:02:20,482 Ballerina? Something? With legs like that. 47 00:02:20,565 --> 00:02:22,690 - Very nice. - I just don't know if I should do this, 48 00:02:22,774 --> 00:02:27,607 'cause my husband is in the room, like, four rows down, 49 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,523 and I have a kid, and she's got a fever-- 50 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:32,357 Don't talk about a husband and kid. Just be anonymous. 51 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,316 I don't want to know any backstory or anything like that. 52 00:02:34,398 --> 00:02:37,024 Just keep it physical. That was great, what you-- 53 00:02:37,107 --> 00:02:39,940 I think she's a real person. She's a real backstory. 54 00:02:40,024 --> 00:02:41,815 ( sighs ) Be primal. 55 00:02:41,899 --> 00:02:43,482 - Don't talk. - Is that what you want? 56 00:02:43,565 --> 00:02:46,191 Want a little primal woman just roll in here? 57 00:02:46,274 --> 00:02:48,232 OK, great. I got it. 58 00:02:48,316 --> 00:02:49,774 Gimme a second! 59 00:02:53,232 --> 00:02:56,357 - Meow. - What's this? 60 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,899 ( meowing, hissing ) 61 00:02:58,982 --> 00:03:03,732 It seems that a weird feral... kitty has wandered into my room. 62 00:03:03,815 --> 00:03:06,066 A rabid kitty, it seems like. 63 00:03:06,149 --> 00:03:08,815 - ( yowling ) - It's a pretty kitty. 64 00:03:08,899 --> 00:03:10,357 - Beautiful. - ( meowing ) 65 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,066 That's nice. 66 00:03:12,149 --> 00:03:13,899 ( hissing ) 67 00:03:13,982 --> 00:03:16,982 ( kissing ) 68 00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:19,274 Oh, that's nice. Yeah, that's nice. 69 00:03:19,357 --> 00:03:22,066 - ( meowing ) - Yeah, wait a second. 70 00:03:22,149 --> 00:03:24,398 No, no, don't do that. Don't do the meowing thing. 71 00:03:24,482 --> 00:03:28,024 That's, uh, it's taking me out of it a little bit. 72 00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:31,066 - I'm a cat. - I like that you're being primal, 73 00:03:31,149 --> 00:03:32,648 I like that you're being a kitty, 74 00:03:32,732 --> 00:03:34,732 but don't talk-- you know that. 75 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,274 But here's the thing. 76 00:03:36,357 --> 00:03:38,732 It's the meowing is kinda taking me out of it. 77 00:03:38,815 --> 00:03:40,732 Do you want to do it? Maybe it's your turn. 78 00:03:40,815 --> 00:03:44,066 - I'm not gonna do this. - I'm done. It's your turn. 79 00:03:44,149 --> 00:03:45,690 ( knocking on door ) 80 00:03:45,774 --> 00:03:48,940 You know, I just don't know what-- 81 00:03:49,024 --> 00:03:51,232 Oh, my God, I'm in the-- Sorry, I'm in the wrong room. 82 00:03:51,316 --> 00:03:53,149 No, I think you're in the right room. 83 00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:54,690 No, come in. Please. 84 00:03:56,066 --> 00:03:57,357 I shouldn't. 85 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,357 I think you should. 86 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,857 - Really? - Yeah. 87 00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:02,440 I have this guitar right here, 88 00:04:02,523 --> 00:04:05,232 and I just need somebody to play it for me. 89 00:04:05,316 --> 00:04:07,648 - This guitar? - Yeah. Do you think-- 90 00:04:07,732 --> 00:04:09,607 Do you play guitar? 91 00:04:09,690 --> 00:04:11,316 Actually, I play a little guitar. 92 00:04:11,398 --> 00:04:14,316 - Oh, really? - A pluck. Just a little. 93 00:04:14,398 --> 00:04:17,440 - Yeah. - Wow, you're so innocent and shy. 94 00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:18,982 Do you like guitar? 95 00:04:19,066 --> 00:04:21,191 Um, I do. Wow, that's very sexy. 96 00:04:21,274 --> 00:04:23,648 What happens when someone plays the guitar? 97 00:04:23,732 --> 00:04:25,440 Well? What happens? 98 00:04:25,523 --> 00:04:27,815 Oh, I mean, all kinds of things can happen. 99 00:04:27,899 --> 00:04:31,066 - Well, let me just take this off. - Oh, wow. 100 00:04:31,149 --> 00:04:32,774 - Ow. My God. - What's under there? 101 00:04:32,857 --> 00:04:34,732 ( grunting ) Actually, 102 00:04:34,815 --> 00:04:36,607 this does not feel good. 103 00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:40,107 I'm a little rusty. I haven't been playing much lately, 104 00:04:40,191 --> 00:04:41,732 but I'll give it my-- 105 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:45,815 - ( playing ) - Yeah, thanks, stranger. 106 00:04:45,899 --> 00:04:49,024 ♪ There's this girl wearing blue ♪ 107 00:04:49,107 --> 00:04:52,191 ♪ I really don't know what to do ♪ 108 00:04:52,274 --> 00:04:54,899 ♪ I got a pretty good idea what we should do ♪ 109 00:04:54,982 --> 00:04:58,191 ♪ We should screw, we should screw, we should screw ♪ 110 00:04:58,274 --> 00:04:59,565 And make a baby! 111 00:04:59,648 --> 00:05:03,316 ♪ Yes, I guess we should make a baby ♪ 112 00:05:03,398 --> 00:05:06,232 ♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪ 113 00:05:06,316 --> 00:05:08,523 ♪ I guess it's gonna drive us crazy ♪ 114 00:05:08,607 --> 00:05:11,940 ♪ But yes, let's make a baby, make a baby, make a baby ♪ 115 00:05:13,191 --> 00:05:15,815 - Hi, baby. - Hello! 116 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,690 Um, I'm Erol, I'm your-- 117 00:05:17,774 --> 00:05:20,357 if everything goes well, I'm gonna be your father, and... 118 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,398 And I'm Rosie, I'm gon-- I'm your mom. 119 00:05:23,482 --> 00:05:26,357 Right now, it's December 18th, 2018, 120 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:29,274 and I know you're out in heaven, 121 00:05:29,357 --> 00:05:31,191 hanging out with the spirits, 122 00:05:31,274 --> 00:05:33,523 but we're really excited for you to come down 123 00:05:33,607 --> 00:05:36,899 through all of the celestial orbits 124 00:05:36,982 --> 00:05:39,191 and join me and my ovaries, 125 00:05:39,274 --> 00:05:41,274 and your dad tonight 126 00:05:41,357 --> 00:05:45,732 is going to use the sperm inside of his... penis to-- 127 00:05:45,815 --> 00:05:47,523 - Testicles. First in my testicles. - Oh, is it? 128 00:05:47,607 --> 00:05:49,107 It will shoot out of my penis. 129 00:05:49,191 --> 00:05:51,024 Anyway, and then it's gonna come into me, 130 00:05:51,107 --> 00:05:52,648 and you're gonna be formed. 131 00:05:52,732 --> 00:05:55,149 And that's the important thing you said, 132 00:05:55,232 --> 00:05:57,482 which is, um, where the sperm resides, 133 00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:00,565 not in the celestial heavens, but in my testicles, 134 00:06:00,648 --> 00:06:02,857 which are a sac of two testes. 135 00:06:02,940 --> 00:06:05,149 It's a little more magical than just that, 136 00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:06,899 because you have a soul, 137 00:06:06,982 --> 00:06:09,232 and we know that souls come from God, 138 00:06:09,316 --> 00:06:12,024 and that's-- God is inside of all of us. 139 00:06:14,232 --> 00:06:16,565 Which is part of the reason I don't believe, really, in God, 140 00:06:16,648 --> 00:06:18,232 because if God's inside of us, 141 00:06:18,316 --> 00:06:19,815 I don't really believe in myself, 142 00:06:19,899 --> 00:06:22,523 so it's hard to believe in a God of the kingdom of-- 143 00:06:22,607 --> 00:06:23,940 It's a joke. That's-- 144 00:06:24,024 --> 00:06:26,232 - ( stammers ) - You don't believe in anything. 145 00:06:26,316 --> 00:06:27,607 Look at your mother. 146 00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:29,857 She's so fucking beautiful! 147 00:06:29,940 --> 00:06:32,482 What is she doing with me? That's the big mystery here. 148 00:06:32,565 --> 00:06:33,940 - No. - You know? 149 00:06:34,024 --> 00:06:36,316 You're a wildly charismatic and strange... 150 00:06:36,398 --> 00:06:37,690 and mysterious human being. 151 00:06:37,774 --> 00:06:39,398 - ( kissing ) - Mmm. Anyway, 152 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,648 we are going to make you now. 153 00:06:41,732 --> 00:06:45,648 - What's that? - We can put it down and just get to it. 154 00:06:45,732 --> 00:06:47,774 No, let's set the camera on the bed there, 155 00:06:47,857 --> 00:06:50,815 and then we'll shoot the act of the conception, that's the plan. 156 00:06:50,899 --> 00:06:54,232 Right? To shoot the-- the actual-- 157 00:06:54,316 --> 00:06:56,024 I don't think we need to make a porn video. 158 00:06:56,107 --> 00:06:58,398 We're just making, like, a loving-- 159 00:06:58,482 --> 00:07:00,482 I thought this was just like foreplay. 160 00:07:00,565 --> 00:07:02,107 No, it won't be a porn movie, 161 00:07:02,191 --> 00:07:04,398 I'm not gonna show anything like penetration-- 162 00:07:04,482 --> 00:07:05,982 - We got this motel for a conception. - Hold on a second. Let's-- 163 00:07:06,066 --> 00:07:07,482 I thought that was the point of this. 164 00:07:07,565 --> 00:07:09,149 You said that I could do this. 165 00:07:09,232 --> 00:07:11,607 You said that we could shoot, like, make-- document-- 166 00:07:11,690 --> 00:07:13,316 You know when I say I have a boundary, 167 00:07:13,398 --> 00:07:14,982 and then you cross the boundary, 168 00:07:15,066 --> 00:07:16,482 and then I say, "You just crossed my boundary"? 169 00:07:16,565 --> 00:07:18,440 You're crossing my boundary. 170 00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:19,732 ( sighs ) 171 00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:23,440 - ( Rosie moaning ) - ( Erol murmuring ) 172 00:07:23,523 --> 00:07:25,482 - Rosie: Oh, baby. - Erol: You feel good. 173 00:07:25,565 --> 00:07:29,274 OK, so when you cum, you just have to stay inside me for a little bit 174 00:07:29,357 --> 00:07:32,398 - so that the semen doesn't all fall out of me. - Yeah, I got it. 175 00:07:32,482 --> 00:07:34,982 ( Rosie moaning ) 176 00:07:35,066 --> 00:07:36,815 And I'm gonna put my legs up against the wall 177 00:07:36,899 --> 00:07:38,899 for like an hour and a half, just so you know. 178 00:07:38,982 --> 00:07:41,149 Yeah, I got you. Baby, you feel so good. 179 00:07:41,232 --> 00:07:43,274 And just really thrust when you cum, 180 00:07:43,357 --> 00:07:44,857 so it goes into my cervix. 181 00:07:44,940 --> 00:07:47,357 I got it. I got it. I understand. 182 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,732 ( moaning ) 183 00:07:49,815 --> 00:07:51,440 - Are you ready? - I'm gonna cum. 184 00:07:51,523 --> 00:07:52,732 Oh, yeah! Oh, I love you so-- 185 00:07:52,815 --> 00:07:54,732 Oh, my God! You are filming! 186 00:07:54,815 --> 00:07:56,815 - No, I'm not. - You're filming! 187 00:07:56,899 --> 00:08:00,232 - Oh, my God, put that down. - I'm so close. 188 00:08:00,316 --> 00:08:02,815 - Get off me. Get off me. - I'm just shooting a part of it. 189 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,732 You knew we were gonna-- we were shooting a video-- 190 00:08:04,815 --> 00:08:07,690 You never respect anybody's boundaries. 191 00:08:07,774 --> 00:08:09,899 Do you wanna do this or not? I'm so close. 192 00:08:09,982 --> 00:08:12,440 - Oh, my God. - It's not about boundaries. 193 00:08:12,523 --> 00:08:15,357 - Let go of me! - The idea was to shoot the special night. 194 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,440 - Baby, please? - Get off. 195 00:08:18,857 --> 00:08:20,398 Listen, baby, I'm sorry, OK? 196 00:08:20,482 --> 00:08:22,232 Put that away. Will you just put it away? 197 00:08:22,316 --> 00:08:23,899 - Why? - You're so beautiful. 198 00:08:23,982 --> 00:08:26,232 It's a nice document to have, like when-- 199 00:08:26,316 --> 00:08:29,191 - Mm-hmm. - I won't shoot anything if you don't want me to. 200 00:08:29,274 --> 00:08:32,316 I thought the idea was we're gonna shoot the special night... 201 00:08:32,398 --> 00:08:35,607 and preserve it, to, like, our actual conception 202 00:08:35,690 --> 00:08:37,316 of a baby that we're doing together. 203 00:08:37,398 --> 00:08:39,024 I want to do what Richard Linklater did, 204 00:08:39,107 --> 00:08:41,232 and take it even further, you know what I mean, 205 00:08:41,316 --> 00:08:42,607 with "Boyhood." 206 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:45,523 Well, Richard Linklater is an actual artist. 207 00:08:45,607 --> 00:08:47,357 Thanks. I mean, I mean-- 208 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,648 ( stammering ) 209 00:08:49,732 --> 00:08:51,066 You know what? Nothing makes me feel better 210 00:08:51,149 --> 00:08:52,732 than trying to ruin your self-esteem. 211 00:08:52,815 --> 00:08:55,066 - ( laughs ) - I don't need you for that. 212 00:08:55,149 --> 00:08:58,940 OK. Baby, I-- 213 00:08:59,024 --> 00:09:02,690 I sometimes acquiesce to your father's strange desires, 214 00:09:02,774 --> 00:09:05,607 and, um, it's not always a smart move on my part, 215 00:09:05,690 --> 00:09:09,274 but, uh... it appears to be what's happening. 216 00:09:09,357 --> 00:09:11,982 So get the fuck over here and let's make a baby. 217 00:09:12,066 --> 00:09:13,482 ( laughing ) 218 00:09:14,523 --> 00:09:16,607 You know, um-- 219 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,857 Aw, you smell like coffee. It's nice. 220 00:09:18,940 --> 00:09:21,440 Oh, really? Yeah? Is it nice? That's good. 221 00:09:21,523 --> 00:09:23,899 I love you. I'm really excited about this. 222 00:09:23,982 --> 00:09:26,107 - Me too. - Really excited. 223 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,607 OK. Well, if everything goes well, 224 00:09:28,690 --> 00:09:31,024 we'll see ya in nine months, I guess, all right? 225 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,107 Mmm. 226 00:09:39,191 --> 00:09:41,149 ( moaning ) 227 00:09:43,107 --> 00:09:45,149 - Oh! - I love you. 228 00:09:46,149 --> 00:09:47,774 - Oh! - I'm gonna cum. 229 00:09:47,857 --> 00:09:49,316 - Yeah? - I'm gonna cum. 230 00:09:49,398 --> 00:09:52,191 I'm gonna cum. I'm gonna cum. 231 00:09:52,274 --> 00:09:55,066 I'm coming! Oh, oh, oh, oh! 232 00:09:55,149 --> 00:09:56,815 Oh, God! 233 00:09:56,899 --> 00:09:59,232 ( both panting ) 234 00:10:06,357 --> 00:10:07,982 Oh, God. 235 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,899 Oh, my God. 236 00:10:09,982 --> 00:10:11,940 Oh. 237 00:10:12,024 --> 00:10:14,565 Oh, God, that felt so good. 238 00:10:22,857 --> 00:10:24,232 Love you. 239 00:10:27,774 --> 00:10:29,024 Do you? 240 00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:35,732 I'm sorry. 241 00:10:35,815 --> 00:10:37,565 I did, I'm-- 242 00:10:40,316 --> 00:10:41,565 I-- 243 00:10:43,607 --> 00:10:45,149 ( sighs ) 244 00:10:46,607 --> 00:10:49,274 That was an accident. 245 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,066 OK? 246 00:10:54,690 --> 00:10:59,066 You said you weren't going to do that. 247 00:10:59,149 --> 00:11:02,066 I swear to God, it was an accident. It slipped out. 248 00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:06,774 ( breathing deeply ) 249 00:11:11,607 --> 00:11:13,899 You wanna watch "Frasier"? 250 00:11:13,982 --> 00:11:16,191 Where's the remote control? 251 00:11:18,107 --> 00:11:21,648 I just had one here before. 252 00:11:21,732 --> 00:11:24,107 Baby, it was an accident. I'm sorry. Seriously. 253 00:11:24,191 --> 00:11:26,857 - We'll try again later. - You pulled out. 254 00:11:26,940 --> 00:11:29,440 ( sighs, grunts ) 255 00:11:33,232 --> 00:11:34,774 ( footsteps ) 256 00:11:34,857 --> 00:11:36,982 Rosie. 257 00:11:37,066 --> 00:11:38,899 ( laughs ) Don't look at me like that. 258 00:11:38,982 --> 00:11:39,982 What are you doing? 259 00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,565 I'm just checking out to see 260 00:11:41,648 --> 00:11:43,774 if we're gonna make a documentary, 261 00:11:43,857 --> 00:11:46,440 it should be about the whole kit-and-kaboodle, the whole evening. 262 00:11:46,523 --> 00:11:48,982 You can turn that off now, because we're doing the conception thing 263 00:11:49,066 --> 00:11:50,398 and we'll try it again later. 264 00:11:50,482 --> 00:11:51,857 Is that what we're gonna do? 265 00:11:51,940 --> 00:11:54,149 We're gonna do the conception thing? 266 00:11:54,232 --> 00:11:56,149 - Later. - Oh, OK. 267 00:11:56,232 --> 00:11:57,940 I'm gonna take a shower, actually. 268 00:11:58,024 --> 00:12:01,398 - Erol, do you want kids? - Huh? ( sighs ) 269 00:12:08,357 --> 00:12:09,565 ( Erol sighs ) 270 00:12:09,648 --> 00:12:11,440 Have you seen the Pert Plus? 271 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,440 It's not in the shower. 272 00:12:13,523 --> 00:12:16,357 Hey, Rosie. Turn that off. 273 00:12:17,815 --> 00:12:19,648 Watch TV. 274 00:12:21,857 --> 00:12:24,149 Remote control. 275 00:12:24,232 --> 00:12:28,274 These fuckin' things. You can't turn these thing on anymore without a remote control. 276 00:12:28,357 --> 00:12:29,690 Ridiculous. 277 00:12:30,857 --> 00:12:33,149 Erol, do you want kids? 278 00:12:34,982 --> 00:12:37,149 I just wanna know where the remote control is. 279 00:12:37,232 --> 00:12:40,607 Are you ready to have kids? 280 00:12:40,690 --> 00:12:42,523 Ah... yeah. 281 00:12:44,066 --> 00:12:45,316 OK, fine. You know what? 282 00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:46,732 If you're ready to have kids, 283 00:12:46,815 --> 00:12:48,149 then I'm just gonna take your own sperm 284 00:12:48,232 --> 00:12:50,149 and stick it right in my fucking cunt. 285 00:12:50,232 --> 00:12:52,107 I'm gonna stick your sperm right in here. 286 00:12:52,191 --> 00:12:53,482 - Don't do that. - Oh, yeah. No, no, no. 287 00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:54,857 You can't get pregnant that way anyway. 288 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,316 Do you know how you can get pregnant? 289 00:12:56,398 --> 00:12:57,774 This is exactly how you can get pregnant. 290 00:12:57,857 --> 00:13:00,274 You stick the sperm into your vagina. 291 00:13:00,357 --> 00:13:02,523 - That's how it works. - That's very unhygienic. 292 00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:05,607 We actually told our unborn Victoria. 293 00:13:05,690 --> 00:13:08,398 - Don't do that. Stop doing that. - No. Hey. Gimme-- 294 00:13:08,482 --> 00:13:10,899 Stop doing it! Seriously. That's not, like, healthy. 295 00:13:10,982 --> 00:13:12,565 Go, like, flush it out. 296 00:13:12,648 --> 00:13:15,732 If you get pregnant that way, the baby's gonna be diseased. 297 00:13:15,815 --> 00:13:18,690 Go flush it out... in the bathroom. 298 00:13:18,774 --> 00:13:21,398 Just go do that. Flush it out. OK? 299 00:13:21,482 --> 00:13:24,815 - Wash it out. - ( water running ) 300 00:13:24,899 --> 00:13:27,107 ( sighs ) 301 00:13:27,191 --> 00:13:29,107 ( water stops ) 302 00:13:35,024 --> 00:13:37,523 - Get away from me. - Go wash yourself. 303 00:13:37,607 --> 00:13:39,191 Go wash yourself. OK? 304 00:13:39,274 --> 00:13:41,607 You don't want kids at all. 305 00:13:42,774 --> 00:13:45,191 ( sighs ) 306 00:13:45,274 --> 00:13:47,565 I don't know what to tell you, babe. 307 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:51,732 I've already said it. I've already told you. 308 00:13:51,815 --> 00:13:54,940 It was an accident. Drop it, OK? 309 00:13:57,107 --> 00:14:00,066 I mean-- Please, look at me. 310 00:14:00,149 --> 00:14:01,857 No. 311 00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:03,357 What? You're-- OK? 312 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,565 You are a fucking coward. 313 00:14:05,648 --> 00:14:06,899 What are you doing? 314 00:14:06,982 --> 00:14:08,398 I'm leaving. I'm just leaving. 315 00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:09,899 I don't want to be here anymore. 316 00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:11,316 I don't want to be around you, 317 00:14:11,398 --> 00:14:13,357 I don't even want to even look at you. 318 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,398 Rosie, will you please-- 319 00:14:15,482 --> 00:14:17,899 You're being ridiculous. 320 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,523 To your unborn baby: You need to know this about your mom. 321 00:14:20,607 --> 00:14:23,024 - She's been very patient. - She's very histrionic 322 00:14:23,107 --> 00:14:25,232 if she doesn't get what she wants when she wants it. 323 00:14:25,316 --> 00:14:26,940 - Give me this. - What are you-- 324 00:14:27,024 --> 00:14:28,565 - You're packing? - I'm packing. 325 00:14:28,648 --> 00:14:30,232 Are we on "Days of our Lives"? 326 00:14:30,316 --> 00:14:32,690 - What is this, a soap opera? - Yeah. You know what? 327 00:14:32,774 --> 00:14:36,523 - Is that what-- - You already said that you were ready! 328 00:14:36,607 --> 00:14:39,732 - Hey, that hurts! - Two years ago! Two years! 329 00:14:39,815 --> 00:14:43,232 You know what else hurts? Lies! Long-term lies! 330 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:46,107 Hey, unborn baby, this is what you got to look forward to, OK? 331 00:14:46,191 --> 00:14:49,357 - Imagine this-- - This is marriage! This is as good as it fucking gets! 332 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,690 - You're in your bedroom-- - I know! I've been in other relationships, 333 00:14:51,774 --> 00:14:53,774 and they're all fucking terrible! 334 00:14:53,857 --> 00:14:57,357 This is pretty much normal. This is better than normal, actually. 335 00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,774 That's your mom there. You're gonna come into this world, 336 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,565 - and that's what you have to deal with. - Long-term lies! 337 00:15:01,648 --> 00:15:03,482 And I don't just want to leave him now; 338 00:15:03,565 --> 00:15:05,274 I've wanted to leave him for so long. 339 00:15:05,357 --> 00:15:07,107 I have so many backup plans. 340 00:15:07,191 --> 00:15:09,398 I have a backup plan for the backup plan for the backup plan. 341 00:15:09,482 --> 00:15:10,774 There's the guy at Starbucks 342 00:15:10,857 --> 00:15:12,440 who's really nice and kind of flirts 343 00:15:12,523 --> 00:15:14,940 every time I give him an extra 50 fucking cents 344 00:15:15,024 --> 00:15:16,440 on his tips, 345 00:15:16,523 --> 00:15:18,857 or my friend Mikhaila, I mean, she's a lesbian, 346 00:15:18,940 --> 00:15:20,940 I could be a lesbian, I'm totally interested in being a lesbian, 347 00:15:21,024 --> 00:15:23,066 that would be so much better than this, 348 00:15:23,149 --> 00:15:26,024 and I would raise my frickin' babies on a farm, with goats! 349 00:15:26,107 --> 00:15:29,482 That'd be kids, you know what I mean? Kids and kids. 350 00:15:29,565 --> 00:15:32,024 Kids are goat babies. Sheep doesn't enter into it. 351 00:15:32,107 --> 00:15:35,982 - You're gonna be crazy? - Crazy? I'm crazy? Yeah. 352 00:15:36,066 --> 00:15:38,149 No, you ruined my chances of having kids 353 00:15:38,232 --> 00:15:40,024 while I'm a fertile human being! 354 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:42,149 I'm not crazy. I feel sane, actually. 355 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:44,482 For the first time in our whole relationship, I feel sane. 356 00:15:44,565 --> 00:15:49,274 I'm saying what I think, which is that you are the most manipulative bastard 357 00:15:49,357 --> 00:15:51,107 on the history of the planet. 358 00:15:51,191 --> 00:15:53,815 Actually, you might just be as manipulative 359 00:15:53,899 --> 00:15:55,774 as every other human on the planet, 360 00:15:55,857 --> 00:15:57,648 as every other male human, 361 00:15:57,732 --> 00:16:00,607 because you're all so cruel. 362 00:16:02,316 --> 00:16:03,774 Yeah. 363 00:16:04,899 --> 00:16:06,857 Yeah. 364 00:16:06,940 --> 00:16:08,982 Great. 365 00:16:09,066 --> 00:16:11,232 Did you get it all out of your system? 366 00:16:11,316 --> 00:16:13,316 You feeling better now? 367 00:16:16,232 --> 00:16:18,648 I just really want to have a kid. 368 00:16:18,732 --> 00:16:19,607 ( sighs ) 369 00:16:19,690 --> 00:16:21,191 At the end of the day, 370 00:16:21,274 --> 00:16:23,357 there are other rooms, right? 371 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,024 Other days. 372 00:16:25,107 --> 00:16:27,940 I already waited though all the other days. 373 00:16:34,940 --> 00:16:38,357 I'm gonna sing you a little tune as you leave. 374 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,732 That's great, take the Doritos. That's great. 375 00:16:40,815 --> 00:16:42,732 ( strumming ) 376 00:16:42,815 --> 00:16:44,690 What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?! 377 00:16:44,774 --> 00:16:47,232 This is absurd! We'll do it again in a little while! 378 00:16:47,316 --> 00:16:51,357 ♪ Rosie, please don't exit, I love you, this isn't like Brexit ♪ 379 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,398 ♪ We're not gonna make a mistake this time ♪ 380 00:16:53,482 --> 00:16:55,565 ♪ We're gonna get it right, that's why I'm rhyming ♪ 381 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,398 ♪ Listen to me, I'm gonna start climbing on top of you ♪ 382 00:16:57,482 --> 00:16:59,732 I'm getting on my knees. Seriously, I love you so much. 383 00:16:59,815 --> 00:17:01,565 Please, no. You can't go. 384 00:17:01,648 --> 00:17:03,149 Please. I'm begging you. 385 00:17:03,232 --> 00:17:05,232 I'm ready. Seriously. 386 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,648 You cannot leave. Don't leave. 387 00:17:07,732 --> 00:17:09,523 Get out of the way, Erol. Get out of the way. 388 00:17:09,607 --> 00:17:11,398 Seriously. You're gonna come back. 389 00:17:11,482 --> 00:17:14,066 - You're coming back. - No, I'm not coming back. 390 00:17:14,149 --> 00:17:16,857 - Rosie. Rosie. - I don't-- This fucking thing. 391 00:17:16,940 --> 00:17:18,523 Please don't leave. OK, I'm sorry. 392 00:17:18,607 --> 00:17:21,066 Leave me alone. Just leave me alone. 393 00:17:21,149 --> 00:17:22,565 I'm sorry. Listen, I'm sorry. 394 00:17:22,648 --> 00:17:25,024 You're not sorry. You are not sorry. 395 00:17:25,107 --> 00:17:26,232 Get out of the way. 396 00:17:26,357 --> 00:17:27,899 I do love you, Erol, I really do. 397 00:17:27,982 --> 00:17:29,274 I just... hate you. 398 00:17:29,357 --> 00:17:31,357 So you don't love me, basically? 399 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,274 Is that what you're saying? Never did? 400 00:17:33,357 --> 00:17:35,690 I just wish I never had. 401 00:17:57,191 --> 00:17:58,732 ( Erol sighs ) 402 00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:30,066 ( door opens ) 403 00:18:32,774 --> 00:18:34,274 ( door closes ) 404 00:18:34,357 --> 00:18:37,774 I forgot my phone. Can I have it, please? 405 00:18:39,982 --> 00:18:42,024 - Thank you. - I'm not ready. 406 00:18:43,732 --> 00:18:47,690 ( crying ) I'm sorry, I'm not. I'm not ready. 407 00:18:47,774 --> 00:18:51,066 OK? I want to be. 408 00:18:51,149 --> 00:18:53,732 ( sniffling ) I want to be. 409 00:18:55,191 --> 00:18:56,357 And you're so excited, 410 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:57,648 and I know you want to have a baby, 411 00:18:57,732 --> 00:18:59,648 and I look at you and I-- and I... 412 00:18:59,732 --> 00:19:02,316 I want to be excited too, but I'm terrified, 413 00:19:02,398 --> 00:19:04,232 and I just know, I just know... 414 00:19:04,316 --> 00:19:07,066 I'm know I'm gonna be a bad father and I'm gonna lose you 415 00:19:07,149 --> 00:19:09,274 and I'd rather-- 416 00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:11,440 I don't wanna-- 417 00:19:11,523 --> 00:19:13,565 I'm just not ready. I don't-- I don't know. 418 00:19:13,648 --> 00:19:15,857 Besides that, I don't-- 419 00:19:15,940 --> 00:19:18,316 I'm sorry. OK? 420 00:19:21,107 --> 00:19:22,607 ( sighs ) 421 00:19:36,648 --> 00:19:38,482 ( crying ) 422 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:45,274 I just feel really alone. 423 00:19:45,357 --> 00:19:48,732 I want to do this so much. 424 00:19:48,815 --> 00:19:51,648 I don't wanna do it by myself. 425 00:19:57,316 --> 00:19:59,607 Ohh. 426 00:19:59,690 --> 00:20:01,274 Uhhh. 427 00:20:03,940 --> 00:20:07,857 Erol, and I don't want to have just any kid in the world. 428 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,815 I really wanted to have your kid. 429 00:20:12,316 --> 00:20:13,899 ( sighs ) 430 00:20:28,607 --> 00:20:29,899 Rosie: Oh! 431 00:20:45,732 --> 00:20:48,523 ( both panting ) 432 00:21:01,107 --> 00:21:03,232 ( both moaning ) 433 00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:09,066 Erol: Oh... oh... oh... 434 00:21:13,899 --> 00:21:17,440 - ( rhythmic thudding ) - Erol: Oh, God. Oh, God. 435 00:21:17,523 --> 00:21:18,982 ( thudding speeds up ) 436 00:21:19,066 --> 00:21:22,607 Oh. Oh! Ohh... 437 00:21:22,690 --> 00:21:25,899 ( both panting ) 438 00:21:29,398 --> 00:21:31,690 ( Rosie laughs ) 439 00:21:33,565 --> 00:21:37,482 ♪ Ooh, baby ♪ 440 00:21:38,774 --> 00:21:41,732 ♪ Yes, oh, baby ♪ 441 00:21:44,107 --> 00:21:46,940 ♪ Yes, oh, baby ♪ 442 00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:51,774 ♪ Yes, oh, baby ♪ 443 00:21:55,857 --> 00:21:59,523 ♪ When we're out in the moonlight ♪ 444 00:21:59,607 --> 00:22:01,024 ♪ Shoo-bop, shoo-bop ♪ 445 00:22:01,107 --> 00:22:04,690 ♪ Looking up at the stars above ♪ 446 00:22:04,774 --> 00:22:06,274 ♪ Shoo-bop, shoo-bop ♪ 447 00:22:06,357 --> 00:22:09,191 ♪ Feels so good when I'm near you ♪ 448 00:22:09,274 --> 00:22:11,107 ♪ Shoo-bop, shoo-bop ♪ 449 00:22:11,191 --> 00:22:14,815 ♪ Holding hands and making love ♪ 450 00:22:14,899 --> 00:22:19,523 ♪ Ooh, ooh, baby ♪ 451 00:22:19,607 --> 00:22:20,565 ♪ Baby ♪ 452 00:22:20,648 --> 00:22:22,899 ♪ Yes, oh, baby ♪ 453 00:22:22,982 --> 00:22:26,232 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 454 00:22:26,316 --> 00:22:29,274 ♪ Baby ♪ 455 00:22:35,232 --> 00:22:36,107 ♪ (ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 456 00:22:36,191 --> 00:22:38,482 ♪ Butterfly ♪ 457 00:22:39,982 --> 00:22:42,482 ♪ Butterfly ♪ 458 00:22:44,398 --> 00:22:47,149 ♪ Butterfly ♪ 459 00:22:47,232 --> 00:22:48,191 (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) 460 00:22:48,274 --> 00:22:49,899 OPERATOR: 911, what's your emergency? 461 00:22:49,982 --> 00:22:51,982 (MALE VOICE EXCLAIMS) 462 00:22:52,066 --> 00:22:53,982 JESS: (WHISPERING, PANTING) I'm scared.