- What the fuck?
A yellow jacket
Kiki Alvarez
Falling
I only came
to drink one beer
I only came
to drink one beer
How did I end up...
- Here?
- Wait a minute.
Hold on. No, no no.
No, no, no, no.
- Yes.
Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
Ahh. Hello? Hello?
- Damn it!
- Yeah. Come on, P-man.
Don't let me down, bro.
- You have reached
the voicemail box of--
- Oh, come on.
Oh, oh, I'm Arnold,
and I hate going out
because no one understands me
and I should just stay at home
and be alone forever.
Shit, Arnold!
I guess you were wrong, huh?
- Are you still with her?
- "Her"?
I want deets, OK? P-Dawg out!
All right. Uh, "her."
Who's "her"?
Start at the beginning.
And where we go, where we...
A yellow jacket
Come on, man, what's
the last thing you remember?
Wait.
- Right. Hah!
Right! OK. It was Saturday.
Yeah, it was Saturday.
Where was I, though? I was,
uh, I was at home, uh--
Aw, come on, Arnold.
That's right!
It was Saturday night
And I was at home
Alone.
Rereading
"Stranger in a Strange Land"
For the seventeenth time
- And that's when
P-Dawg called
- He said....
- Hey, Arnold!
God!
"Get your ass off the couch
And get your ass over here
For at least one beer."
Right. Yeah, and I was like,
"It's gonna be crowded and loud
and I don't do well
in places like that, man,"
and then P-Dawg started
complaining
and saying how I bailed
on him last time
and the time before that
and then the time before that,
and then he said
if I bailed on him this time,
he'd be really butt-hurt,
and then he started using
that whiney voice that I hate
and I was like,
"Dude, OK, shut up.
Shut up, I'll go. I'll go!"
And when I arrived
it was crowded as hell
Oh, well...
Even worse
than I imagined
Oh, God!
So I hid by the jukebox
And there was this girl
In the yellow jacket.
She was way out of my league
But then she put on
Dante Dupre's "Sorry Not Sorry,"
which is like my favorite song,
and part of me was like,
"Oh, this is a sign,
this is the girl!"
Then part of me was like "No,
she's just listening ironically,
you're just gonna
embarrass yourself,"
and I was like,
"I don't know. Fuck it."
Hello, hi,
my name is Arnold
She smiled.
"My name is Vicki"
And I said,
"Nice to meet you, Mickey
And she said,
"Uh, actually, it's Vicki"
So I turned around and got
the fuck outta there
because I blew that.
Whoo! Arnold, way to go!
But then she grabbed me
by the hand,
turned me back around,
and she said,
"Nice to meet you, Arnold."
What brings you to
a place like this?"
And I was like,
"Ah, my friend P-Dawg,
he called me, I was at home
reading 'Stranger in
a Strange Land,' actually,
and he guilt-tripped me
to come out,"
and she said, "Huh! Cool!
I'm more of a 'Childhood's End'
person myself."
At which point,
I totally shit my pants
because that's my second
favorite book of all time.
And then, then I can't really
remember what happened next.
Oh, yeah!
Then we just hung out
by the jukebox
Talkin' Dante Dupre
and David Bowie
and all the crazy shit
that we had in common!
And I was like, "What the fuck
is happening?"
It was all going so well
But of course,
It all want to hell
But suddenly, I noticed
this scary-lookin' guy
walking towards us.
He had, like, a neck tattoo,
and was lookin' at me
like he wanted to kill me.
Well, he came over
and put his arm around Vicki
and said, "'Sup, girl?"
And I thought, "Oh, dear."
Here's where I disappear
But she she pushed him away
and put her around around me!
So here we all were
by the jukebox
Me, this asshole, and Vicki.
And that's when Vicki said
"Hey, Chris.
Meet my new boyfriend Arnold
I was pretty startled.
And I shrugged at Chris
And that's when Vicki, she--
she gave me a kiss.
Yeah, she kissed me!
And I thought Chris
was gonna stab me
But before he could,
Vicki grabbed me and said,
"Later, Chris.
Arnold and I have big plans
for tonight
We gotta split"
Holy shit!
That's when we ran
out of the bar
and...
ran down the street?!
And then we...
Where did we go?
Come on, Arnold,
where did we go? Think.
Shit, man!
OK, maybe--
Uh...
K--
Kiki Alvarez
Hashtag Kiki Alvarez?
All right, come on.
"Just say the words Kiki Alvarez
when you want to party."
Alvarez.
The password. Ha ha!
OK, the password to a party...
Whoa. I was at that party.
What? Why am I just now
getting these?
Someone posted a pic of you
at a sick warehouse party.
What's happening?
Hey, man. Dave said he saw you
at the old Stormgrens plant.
L-O-L. He said you looked
freaked the fuck out,
like you've never been
to a warehouse party before.
I bet those three beers
that girl made you chug
had you feeling
a little better though.
Beer emoji. Beer emoji.
Beer emoji.
Ooh
- Arnold's out tonight
- Shit!
Bro, just saw you
on Marv's Insta story.
How long have we been friends?
And how many times
have I begged you,
pleaded with you,
to hit the damn blunt with me?
- Shit!
- You won't hit a single
bleazy with your boy,
but now you're burning them
with strangers
and doing bong rips?!
Guess my chronic
isn't good enough for you.
I'm really fucking pissed,
dude. Just kidding!
Arnold is out past 10 p.m.
Did hell freeze over?
You must really like her.
Arnold's out tonight
Oh, so you blew off
Overwatch League
to get roofied
by some hot chick?
- No. No, man! No!
- Nice. Nice.
Yeah, I heard
she slipped a molly
into both of your drinks
and you like totally
flipped out when she told you.
- What the fuck? Shit!
- Arnold are you
off a molly?
Shit, man! Dude, you know
they drug test at work, right?
- Arnold's
out tonight
- Ohh, man.
Arnold's out tonight
- It's hot. It's really hot!
- Arnold's out tonight
Arnold's out
tonight
- What's up?
- And he's
falling in love
- No,
he's getting fucked up
- WoWhatever.
- Shit.
- Arnold's
out tonight
- Arnold's out tonight
One beer, huh?
By "one beer," did you mean
"one keg stand"?
- Whoa!
- Fuckin' dead.
Braaa! I can't believe
I missed you doing karaoke
on top of a fucking table!
- And stage diving?
- What?!
- You're a real savage, brah.
- My face.
Oh, God.
OK, met her at a bar,
went to a party, then what?
OK.
OK. OK. OK.
OK.
Ahhh.
A yellow jacket...
Kiki Alvarez
Falling
Yeah. Yeah, OK.
That's her.
It's calling
It's calling me
I am--
I am-- mmm--
Falling
It's calling me
I am falling
Fuck! Aw, of course!
Arnold, come on, man,
Dante Dupre
featuring Cecily VelJohnson,
"Sorry Not Sorry."
I mean, like, come on, man.
Tonight
I feel your love
Is calling me
I am falling
No?
OK. Uh, uh--
Tonigh--
What?!
You gotta be--
Oh, girl.
Tonight
I feel your love
It's calling me
I am falling
Tonight
I'm shivering
Please hold me close
'Cause I'm scared
to take that leap
Of faith
But I'm way too excited
To wait
So take
My hand
And close your eyes
And we'll take
a walk together
Towards the ledge
Holding me closer,
I am falling
As we teeter
on the razor's edge
If we fall
we are not sorry
Sorry
Not sorry
Sorry
Not sorry
- Hey, that was pretty fun.
- Yes.
Do you remember the music video
for this one?
Of course!
Of course.
Dante, I'm so afraid
of these feelings.
Don't be afraid, Cecily.
Look into my eyes.
So
Take
My hand
And close your eyes
and we'll
Take a walk together
towards the ledge
Hold me closer
I am falling
As we teeter
on the razor's edge
If we fall we are not sorry
Take a walk together
towards the ledge
Hold me closer,
I am falling
As we teeter
on the razor's edge
If we fall
we are not sorry
Sorry
Not sorry
Sorry
Not sorry
- Whoa. What?
- What? I--
What? Why would you do that?
I just--
I thought that
you were into me.
I thought that
you were giving me signs.
Oh, no, I was just
playing around, man,
it's just karaoke.
Yeah, well, I-- I just thought
you were into me, that's all.
I-- Yeah, I think
you're a really cool dude,
but I was just
having fun.
Like, I didn't want you
to... kiss me.
Well, you told that guy
that I was your boyfriend.
Why would you tell him that
if you weren't into me?
That guy's my ex. I don't know.
Our shit ended really badly.
He got really scary.
I just wanted to get
the fuck out of the bar.
OK, so, you were
just using me. That's--
I shoulda never
come out tonight.
This is all
so fuckin' pointless.
Why is this pointless?
I thought we were having fun.
Because I blew it again.
I never-- I just--
I meet a girl,
and fall in love with her,
and I blow it
on the same night.
OK, love, dude?
We just met each other tonight.
- I blew it.
- Heh. Well, I do think
that if you wouldn't tell chicks
that you just met that
you're in love with them,
then you wouldn't be
in this situation. But--
Can you get away from me?
Please? Just leave me alone?
- Yeah, sorry, OK.
- Just-just leave me alone!
God, just leave me alone.
Ohh.
Fuck.
How did I end up here?
I only came
to drink one beer
I only came
to drink one beer
I only came
to drink one beer
I only came
to drink one beer
I only came
to drink one beer
How did I end up here?
How did you end...
I only came
to drink one beer
I only came to
drink one beer
- To have one beer
- To drink one beer
I only came
to drink one beer
I only came to
drink one beer
...end up
- Here
- I only came
to drink one beer
I only came to
- Drink one beer
- Why did I have
more than one beer?
How did you...
How did I end up here?
- Up here?
- How did I end up here?
How did I end up here?
Jesus Christ. What--?
What now, man?
Video.
I just-- I'm not--
Where do you wanna go?
You're my chick.
I can't go anywhere.
I came here to be
with fucking friends
and you fucking show up. How?
I don't trust you.
How do you know?
You go into my house,
went into my apartment--
Man
You're pissing me off.
I don't care! Just go away!
- Arnold What the fuck
is wrong with you, man?!
Are you OK? Are you all right?
Man, what the fuck
is your problem
putting your hands
on a fuckin' female, man?!
What the fuck
is wrong with you?!
You're a piece of shit, dude!
- Vicki What?
Real fucking nice, man.
Real fucking nice.
Fuck you, dude!
Whoa. Wait.
Falling.
Man.
Don't fuckin' push me, dude.
I don't even fucking know you--
Vicki
Chris! Chris!
Real fucking nice.
I guess that makes you
a big fuckin' man, huh?
That makes you
a big fuckin' man?
Fuck you, dude!
- Ohh!
- Oh, no.
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
No.
Oh, no!
That's not-- Oh, sh--
No, no, no. No, no.
No, no. No, no, no.
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
OK.
Oh, shit.
Come on. Come on!
- What--?
Vicki
Hello?
Hi, yeah,
is this Arnold's mom?
Hi. Um, my name's Vicki.
I'm really sorry
about what happened.
Um... Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, I'm a friend.
I don't-- I don't know,
I just met Arnold last night.
It was just a really...
horrible accident,
I'm so sorry.
It was my fault. He--
He, um--
He was protecting me.
I was really mean to him,
and he was protecting me.
I just want you to know that
about your son. I--
We barely even knew each other,
and he was helping me.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, yeah, you can
come get his phone. Um...
I'll text you the address.
Yeah, I'll just
be waiting here.
No.
No, no, no.
No, please. Please.
You don't have to feel bad,
OK?
We took a walk together
towards the ledge
You held me close
I was falling
And we teetered
on the razor's edge
I fell
But I'm not sorry
Sorry.
Not sorry
Tonight
I feel your love
It's calling me
I am falling
So
Take
My hand
And close your eyes
And we'll take a walk
together towards the ledge
Hold me closer,
I am falling
As we teeter
on the razor's edge
If we fall
we are not sorry
Female
Sorry
Male
Not sorry
Sorry
Together
Not sorry
Meow.
What's this?
A kitty has wondered
into my room.
That's a pretty kitty.
Yeah, wait a sec.
Meowing is kinda
taking me out of it.
-It's... It's a little--
-Okay.
Do you want to do it?
Maybe it's your turn.
You know,
I just don't know what--
Oh my God, I'm in the--
Sorry, I'm in the wrong room--
Oh no, I think
you're in the right room.