(movie projector rattling)
(guitar music)
(car horn beeping)
(upbeat music)
- Hi, Justin!
- Can't stop, Natalie, I'll be late for my lesson.
- Oh that's cool, I'm totally cool with that.
I hear that guy, Newt or Stan--
- [Justin] Stewart.
- Yeah yeah, him, I hear he's really good.
I mean, I think it's awesome you're taking guitar lessons
because I'm musically inclined.
I've been taking piano lessons since I was four.
Maybe you can learn that cool song by Bruno Mars.
You know, it's my favorite, Count With Me.
Wait no, that's not it. - Oh, yeah, cool.
It's something with letters or... - Uh-huh.
(muffled talking)
- It's Count On Me.
Who doesn't know that?
- Oh, don't be cruel.
It's her first crush, it's so cute.
- I'll show you those later and--
- Bye, Nat.
- Bye.
Oh anyway, about the bracelets, you know,
so I had this red... - Yeah, a gnat.
- Bye.
- She's kinda like a gnat.
An annoying, buzzing gnat.
- Oh, you will rethink your position someday, buddy,
I promise.
In the meantime, you will be
as polite as possible, young man.
She's new here, she needs a friend.
- Mom, you know I'm being nice to her.
And we both know how that ends.
She gets the wrong idea and next thing I know
we're eating dinner at the Olive Garden before Junior prom.
- Oh yeah?
You should be so lucky.
- Mom, stop stop!
Olive, hey, Olive!
I told you I'd do that after my lesson.
- Yeah, yes yes, I know, honey
but I thought I'd just get a head start.
You know, I only got one foot planted in the grave, okay.
The other is firmly amongst the living.
- Are you getting excited for your cruise?
- Mm-mh, this is the romance novel cruise.
- Ooh, la la.
(laughing)
Hey, and thank you for the tomatoes.
They were amazing.
- Oh Becca, I'm just trying to keep up your cooking skills.
You know, men, they love a good--
- Ah.
- We have to get running, toodle-oo.
- You'll rethink your position someday, I promise.
- And you will mind your own beeswax, Mr. Man.
(orchestral music)
Hey, does dropping my kid off at the local bar,
albeit a highly reputable establishment,
make me a bad mother?
- I never go into the bar part, Mom.
Stewart's lessons are in the room behind the stage.
It's totally legit.
What makes you bad mother is forcing me to interact
with a potentially dangerous insect, posing as a human girl.
- Not nice.
Now scoot, I gotta call my clients over at the Dollar Depot.
I'll be back to pick you up in 90 sharp.
- All right.
(orchestral music)
- Hello, little man.
- Hey.
(clap smack)
- Have fun.
(laughing)
- I'll try.
- Greetings, protege.
You're looking sweat free.
- Mom took mercy on me and dropped me off.
- And a fine lady she is.
I mean, fine like, I aspire to be a good man.
She is a fine woman.
- Yeah.
- Good citizen, true American.
All right, let's pick up some strings and make 'em cry.
- I'm sure that Mick and the boys
would frown at changing the lyrics
and I don't think you guys wanna get embroiled
in a copyright infringement suit.
Think about that whole Robin Thicke, Pharrell Williams mess.
- [Man On Phone] What thick pharaoh?
- You know, I promise that I will come up
with a ditty for Dollar Depot that is downright dandy.
- [Man On Phone] Uh, what?
I didn't catch that.
- You know, sorry, couldn't help myself.
More as a have it, okie-dokie? Toodle-oo.
Ugh.
(guitar music)
- Okay, okay, now here.
Look, the cornerstone of being a musician
is rhythm and timing.
Now, do you know what a metronome is?
- I've heard of the Metrodome, does that count?
- No.
But you get points for word association.
Now, a metronome keeps the beat, the pace, the timing.
Music is all about timing.
You either got good timing or you got bad timing.
- You better be teaching him something upbeat.
- Speaking of bad timing.
- Playing you all's sad songs too.
- You know, my songs aren't sad,
they're melancholy.
And the best songs are about falling in love
or out of love and my songs happen to be about the latter.
Just waiting for the tide to turn.
Besides, I got a soft spot for relationships gone bad.
- Don't say that again, Stew.
It just gives you a pathetic quality.
Women do not like pathetic.
- Says the lifelong bachelor
who knows everything there is to know about women.
- Hey, Clive, you know any songs about how to hide from girls
you don't wanna talk to?
- You don't learn how to play the guitar
to keep the girls away.
That kinda defeats the purpose.
You know what I mean?
- Wanna give him a try?
- Really?
- Yeah.
I call this one Tex.
- Was its last owner named Tex?
- Barry.
- Was Barry from Texas?
- [Stewart] St. Louis.
- Wait, why Tex?
- Come on, let's just play.
(guitar music)
Nice.
How about old Betty, did you name her?
- No, she came that way from the pawn shop.
- Well, you every wonder about her history?
Why she's named that way?
Could be a long lost mysterious love story
waiting to be told.
- Or it's last owner's name was Betty
and she wanted to let everybody know it was hers.
I'm gonna get a summer job and save up for one
without anybody's name on it.
- Okay.
Okay, all right.
Time to get the boy.
- She's super busy today, I'm sure she'll be here soon.
- Yeah, no worries, bud.
You know, I'll be back in one minute, okay?
- Hi.
I am so, so sorry, there long lines at the store.
All right, Jay, let's get going.
I got a trunk full of food
and I don't wanna risk food poisoning.
Given the fact that I already let the kid
hang out at a bar all day,
I would definitely lose my mother of the year nomination.
- So, how's the graphic design coming along?
- Oh my gosh, you must think that I'm raised by wolves.
I didn't even see you standing there, Stewart.
- Oh well, it's hard not to notice you standing.
I said that out loud.
Uh, on a not awkward moment. He is doing great.
- Well, brilliance runs in the family.
(laughing)
I'm hoping that he can get good enough
to help me with a ditty for the Dollar Depot folks.
They can't understand why I can't use the Rolling Stones'
"You Can't Always Get What You Want"
just by changing the lyrics to
you can always get what you want for a dollar.
(laughing)
All right, vamanos, amigo.
- All right.
Say, if you need the help,
I was a pretty decent jingle writer
in a past life.
- Boom.
(laughing)
- I'm gonna go finish pulling the weeds for Olive.
She shouldn't be working that hard in the heat.
It's not good for old people.
- How did I get so lucky?
Get over here.
(kiss smack)
Hey, and don't mention anything about being old to Olive.
Women don't like to hear those kinds of words, okay?
- I also heard that women don't like pathetic men.
- Well, whoever you heard that from is a genius.
- Bartender named Clive.
- I rest my case.
(laughing)
Such a good kid.
Ugh, more dishes.
(soft orchestra music)
- I vote for making weeds the new flowers
so nobody has to pull them.
(laughing)
- Well then, what would the young upstanding boys do
for their gracefully aging neighbors during the summer?
- You're not aging Olive, you're still,
I think of you as um,
you have--
- Honey, you every hear the saying
if you find yourself in a hole stop digging.
- Sorry.
(laughing)
- That's all right, you're a good boy, Justin,
but the fact is
I just can't keep up with the younger generation.
A fact which my new whipper snapper of an editor
has made abundantly clear.
My days as cupid could be numbered.
- What?
No way Olive, that's not gonna happen.
You've been writing your column forever.
Like, decades and eons and even like--
Wait, that didn't come out right.
What I meant was that you've writing--
- Child, child, let me make you some lemonade
before you ask me if I have a pterodactyl as a pet.
I ain't that old!
Close.
(laughing)
(light upbeat music)
I've done my best to keep up with the times.
I have all the latest I devices, I have a website,
I face plant.
- Don't act like you don't know what that is, Olive.
- Hmm, listen to this.
Dear Olive, we value Call Me Cupid
here at the Daily Messenger
but letters are beginning to dwindle
and your syndications have declined.
Perhaps it's due to your flippant responses to advice seekers
such as "texting killed your date night", "Twitter me stupid,"
are beginning to alienate our younger reads.
I was just trying to be honest.
Now, honesty, that's still a good thing, isn't it?
- Yeah, but, well,
don't take this the wrong way but maybe,
just maybe, you should get to know how the
less experienced generation interact these days.
I mean, no one wants to feel stupid.
- Oh.
All right, you tell me as a less experienced person
how you would answer.
"Dear Cupid, my girlfriend insists on taking selfies
inside every restaurant we go into.
This makes me uncomfortable and the camera flash
disturbs others trying to enjoy their dinner.
What should I do?
Signed Camera Shy."
- First, I wanna know how you would answer that.
- Well, easy breezy.
I despise selfies. Selfies are the downfall of society
and promote self aggrandizing.
And that 15 minutes of fame, that everybody seems to--
- Whoa.
Hashtag, wrong attitude.
I don't even know where that came from.
- Dear Camera Shy, camera's should be banned
from eating establishments.
Gently tell Ms. Manners, nicely, in a nice way
that you'll no longer spring for the dinner, or the wedding,
until she learns some basic--
- Ah, no.
Selfies are a way of life, everybody takes selfies.
(exhales)
- Okay, you have the floor, please.
Enlighten me with your less experienced wisdom.
- Dear Camera Shy, dude, I feel your pain.
- Dude?
- Selfies can be super lame and annoying
but it's time for a compromise
because your girlfriend clearly digs you
and wants everybody to know you're having a great time
no matter where you go.
Kill two birds with one stone, my man.
Take it upon yourself to suggest a selfie
outside the restaurant
so everybody knows where you are.
But pick a joint that's totally rad.
It's cost you a little more bread
but hey, it could take your ship to the next level.
After all man, YOLO.
- YOLO?
- You Only Live Once.
- [Natalie] Hey Justin, Justin are you in here?
Your mom said you were here.
Wanna take a bike ride before it gets dark?
- What?
- I don't suppose you'd agree with
distracting her while I sneak out the front?
- Mm-mm, sorry, it runs counter to my moral compass.
You're on your own, kiddo.
You know, one day you're gonna
thank me. - Rethink my position?
- Whatever.
Hey Natalie, I gotta get home and practice
but maybe another time.
Interesting helmet.
- Oh thanks, I have a bunch of other ones
but this is my favorite summer helmet
because, well you know, watermelon is the best summer fruit
ever and it just makes me feel really happy?
What makes you feel happy, Justin?
- Guitar.
- Oh, and by the way,
you know, maybe we can take our new bikes
to the rec trail 'cause tomorrow I'm leaving
and so I have to-- - Wait, wait,
- you're going somewhere?
- Yeah, tomorrow my mom and step-dad
are taking me to see my grandparents at the lake.
And I'll be gone for a week
but maybe when we get back we can go on the rec trail.
- Oh my gosh, Natalie, you have a great great, great time.
As a matter of fact, have the best time of your life!
I'll see you when you get back.
Bye.
- I think he likes me.
(laughing)
(computer keys clacking)
- That's it, an alter ego, an alias, a nom de plume.
Nothing ventured, as they say.
(playful music)
- Hey Jay, come listen to this.
Okay, so it's still just a wee notion
and I think that my brain is starting to shrink
from thinking too much but be honest.
Okay. - All right.
♪ Dollar Depot where your family gets ♪
♪ A lot for less
- It's a good start.
Catchy tune, but I know you can do a lot better.
I mean, Dollar Depot's where everything costs a dollar.
So, saying you get a lot for less--
- Obvious, duh, not very inspired.
This is my first jingle
and I really need to hit it out of the park.
- Stewart is a great musician and a song writer too,
maybe you could call him.
- No, honey, no no no.
I'm not comfortable doing that.
I need to do this by myself.
These are my clients and I--
- Would it hurt to ask?
- Oh, oh it hurts!
Ow, uh, oh!
Oh my son is, ow, losing faith in his--
- You can stop the comedy routine.
I'll keep my trap shut.
- You will?
For always?
- Cue the laugh track.
- [Rebecca] I love you, baby.
- Love you more.
And, by the way, I know you can do it.
But just in case you can't, Stewart can always be backup.
(playful piano music)
- Ugh, I hate it when he gets the last word.
How did he get so good at that?
Okay.
♪ Dollar
Oh, come on.
♪ Dollar Depot where it's cheapo ♪
No, that's terrible.
(ukulele music)
- All right, this is business.
This is strictly business, that's all this is.
Clever.
"I offer my clients
a cozy warm incubator where ideas can flourish."
Very sweet.
Extremely corny but very sweet.
(yawning)
- [Justin] Gosh, I thought you were leaving.
- We're leaving at 10 but it's only 6:30 now so,
thought I'd bring you this before I left.
It's from the Dino Predator collection.
My step-dad works for the company that makes them.
Cool, huh?
- Yeah, cool.
Well, thanks but I guess I'll see you when you get back.
- Hi, Nat.
- [Natalie] Hi.
- I heard the early bird gets the worm
but I don't think the worms are even up yet.
- I've always been an early riser.
My mom says I have more energy than a nuclear power plant.
- Got that right.
- Okay, well come on in, I'll fix you a bagel.
You can power the toaster.
- [Natalie] Come in.
- Yeah.
- Brought your paper.
Call Me Cupid is totally rad today.
Different from all the others.
She even has a new name.
- Oh, a new name, really?
Well, I don't actually read Olive's column,
although I love her to pieces,
but thank you for the scoop.
- She's a love cynic.
- She is standing right here
and she doesn't believe in airing her relationship woes
in public.
- She doesn't believe in relationships at all.
Does she?
- Well well, isn't that the frog calling the grass green?
He's a little cranky in the morning
so I'll leave you two love birds alone.
Bagels coming right up.
- Your mom is the coolest.
- Uh, make yourself at home, I guess.
- Oh, here, I'll read it to you.
It's the best one ever.
"Dear Cupid, my girlfriend insists on taking selfies
inside every restaurant we go into.
This makes me uncomfortable and the camera's flash
disturbs others trying to enjoy their dinner.
What should I do?
Signed, Camera Shy."
Here's her response, it's the best one ever.
"Dear Camera Shy, dude, I feel your pain.
Selfies can be super lame and annoying.
But it's time for a compromise
because your girlfriend clearly digs you
and wants everybody to know that you're having a great time
wherever you go.
Kill two birds with one stone, my man.
Take it upon yourself
to suggest a selfie outside the restaurant
before you go into people's in the place.
But pick a joint that's totally rad.
It'll cost you a little more bread
but if it could take your ship to the next level.
After all, dude, YOLO.
Signed, Cupid's Proxy."
What does it mean by taking the ship to the next level?
- Relationship.
- Oh, what's proxy mean?
- Hold that thought.
(foot steps tapping)
(chime with each messages)
- That's so lovely to hear, honey.
From the sound of your last email
I thought my goose was cooked.
- [Woman On Phone] No no, Cupid's Proxy,
it's genius!
You don't alienate your older readership
but pull in a younger set, it's brilliant.
- Oh-uh uh, well I gotta hang up now, honey.
Oh, I got some many comments coming in
and I'll be in my jammies till noon.
It's nice chatting with you.
- [Woman On Phone] Wait, let's talk about how--
- Ba-bye.
- What did you do?
- What, where's the fire honey?
Oh honey, sit down.
Sit down before you bust a gut.
What?
- Where's Justin?
- Totally bounced.
- Oh.
- This bagel smells amazing.
Does it have salted of unsalted butter?
'Cause my mom says that salted is really bad for you
and cause all sorts of medical problems
if you eat too much of it.
Actually, any butters are bad for you
so we just don't eat any butter.
But that's probably why they smell so good
and I just can't believe it.
'Cause my grandma one time, she had butter
and it was amazing because I--
- Natalie.
- [Natalie] Yeah?
- Stop talking, please.
- Okay.
Well, I gotta go now 'cause I have to get ready
to go to my grandparents house
so tell Justin I'll see him when I get back.
- [Rebecca] Okay, if I see him I'll tell him.
- Oh hey, do you want me to look for him?
'Cause I'm really good at looking for people.
I could just go--
- If I need to find him I'll just call 911.
Thank you for your concern.
- Okay. - Okay.
- Holy cats, that girl can talk.
- Why'd you do that?
People are gonna know it was me!
- How?
- I don't know, they just will.
If my friends find out I'll never be able to go out again.
I'll have to go into hiding,
quit school, witness protection.
I'm not a love counselor, I'm a boy!
- Oh, that's nonsense.
Do you know how many comments, positive comments,
that we got online.
All because of you and your advice.
- But I wasn't trying to do it on purpose.
I was, well, I was just trying to help you out.
- And you did, honey, more than you know.
But you know what, you have a knack
for giving out practical advise.
And you a darn good writer to boot.
- Thank you, now let's forget all about it.
It was a one time thing and it's not gonna happen again.
And besides, how can you pretend my words are your words?
Right?
I mean, it's not honest.
- Well, that's why I didn't sign it Cupid.
I signed it it Cupid's Proxy.
You know what a proxy is?
- No and I don't wanna know.
- It's a substitute, a representative or an agent
acting on behalf of somebody else.
See, it's all completely on the up and up.
- Okay, well, just this one time but not anymore after that.
- Well, let me show you a few of the excerpts
from the comments that we got.
Now, some of the words even I don't understand
but I'm sure it's all good.
Amazeballs.
- That means totally amazing.
- Oh.
Best advice ever.
Cupid's Proxy is the bomb.
More Proxy please, genius.
Proxy is FR?
- For real.
- Oh.
Proxy is high-key.
Oh.
Now look, Justin, I need to keep working but I'm a dinosaur.
But this dinosaur, she loves her fiesta cruises.
No jobs, no fiesta cruises.
So I propose an arrangement.
Now, you need a new guitar, right?
- Ah, yeah.
- And I want to continue living in the style
to which I've become accustomed.
So, Cupid's Proxy writes one response
for every two of mine every week.
- Nope, can't do it.
- It'll be our secret.
Nobody'll know, I promise.
- Relationship advice is a girl thing.
I, I--
- 20 dollars a response.
- Deal.
- Hey, I've been looking all over for you.
What are you two doing?
- Nothin'. - Nothing.
- Ah, I know what this is about.
You can't fool me.
Escape from Natalie.
Oh, honey, I totally get it.
- Wait, so you'll never lecture me again
about trying to ignore her?
- Of course not.
That would spoil all of mommy's fun.
I'm just saying that I get it.
Uh Olive,
(sniffs)
do I smell your coffee?
(laughing)
- Awesome.
This writing gig might not be that bad after all.
- You know, the young ones would never send
a hand written letter.
Do you whipper snappers even know
what a pen and a pencil is?
(laughing)
- Here's one.
"Dear Cupid's Proxy."
- Just go with it honey.
Embrace your inner celebrity.
- "I saw my girlfriend flirting with another guy
at the football game, at least it looked like flirting.
Should I publicly shame her online
or post a picture so she knows I saw them?
Signed, Jilted."
- Well, you're on, Proxy.
I'll take the 80 year old who wants to know
if he should take flowers on the first date.
(light upbeat music)
(laughing)
- Yo, what?
Oh good grief, where is this coming from, Olive?
(laughing)
- [Justin] What's so funny?
- Oh, it's nothing.
Just, nothing at all.
Just a crazy story about, I forgot.
No, it's a dog that can bark the national anthem,
or something like that.
You hungry?
What?
(guitar music)
- Wow.
(applauding)
You've been spending some quality time
with old Betty there.
Hey, I'm proud of you, Justin.
Your rhythm and timer were spot on,
you didn't miss one chord, you nailed it.
- Thanks!
I wanna get really good before I get my new guitar.
- Oh, new guitar, that's exciting.
When you're ready to pick one out
you let me know and I'll help you and your mom out,
all right?
'Cause getting a new guitar is a, it's a commitment.
You don't wanna just rush in there
and fall in love with the first pretty face you see.
Take your time, find the one that speaks to ya.
And if you're lucky enough, you find the right one
you could be with her the rest of your life.
- Kinda like a good friend, right?
- Yeah, something like that, yeah.
- You know, I told my mom she could call you
to help her write the jingle.
- Thanks for the solid, wing man.
- But don't get your hopes up.
She doesn't like getting help from other people.
She likes to think of herself as fiercely independent.
- Fair enough.
- Just in case she does change her mind,
I haven't exactly told her I'm getting a new guitar.
Kind of a surprise.
- Oh.
A secret summer job.
Let me guess CIA, FBI?
- Something like that.
- You're a regular 007.
Does your shoe turn into a phone?
(laughing)
All right, your secret's safe with me, buddy.
(guitar music)
(laughing)
What's so funny?
- Oh, Call Me Cupid.
- Oh Clive, you gotta buy me dinner and chocolates first.
- Oh well, that is so funny.
(laughing)
It's the name of the column.
- I know what it is, just messing with you.
- So you do read it?
- Whoa, I didn't say that.
Said I know what it is.
(applauding)
You think I need relationship advice.
- Well, if you had one you wouldn't.
Just check it out, it's pure entertainment.
It's like this Cupid lady's got
some sort of alter ego she calls Cupid's Proxy.
- Oh, what's so entertaining about it?
- I don't know it just, it's just entertaining.
I mean, it's like these people are getting
really sound advise from a teenager.
Speaking in text, with a PhD in Psychology or something.
- That's one weird combo.
- Yes it is, but it works.
Check it out, bro.
(light music)
- Well, it looks like somebody's actually enjoying himself.
- Business, strictly business.
Oh, do you mind if I do two this week?
- Mm, that means I owe you 40, right?
- Nope, one on the house.
A trial run to see if we get more action.
Then, if you think I'm worth it, we can renegotiate.
Fair?
- Oh, all right mister business man.
(laughing)
- I think that we can create a much more user friendly page
if we take...
(knocking on the door)
...if we take away...
get too busy, but--
- Hey, oh I'm sorry, is this a bad time?
I was bringing by Justin's, uh--
- Wait, The Pop Shop.
- Oh yeah yeah, this old thing?
Yeah, this is, it's a place back in--
- Des Moines.
Yeah, one of my favorite jingles of all time.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Mine too.
I actually wrote it.
- Oh no, sorry, forget about Des Moines.
Multitasking.
Can you hold on for two shakes?
- [Stewart] Yeah.
- [Rebecca] Okay, great.
Uh-huh.
Okay, I will call you Monday. (rattling)
- Hey.
- Ah, thank you.
Okay, look, what I'm about to say
is so rare and unusual you're more likely
to spot a giraffe on roller skates
than ever hear me say it again.
(laughing)
I need help with the jingle.
- I'm your man, for the job.
- Okay, great. - Yeah, yeah great.
- And no freebees just because you,
you know, are Justin's music teacher.
- Okay.
- Not gonna let you do this as a favor.
- Sure.
- Yeah.
You're not doing it out of the kindness of your heart.
- I won't, I could use the money.
Thank you.
- Okay, great.
Then I guess I'll just email you some notes.
- Notes are good.
I'm a musician, I like notes.
Bad joke.
- Yeah.
Yeah, stick with the music, no stand up comedy.
(laughing)
- Okay.
- That's my attempt at a joke.
Okay, well we won't write jokes, we'll just do jingles.
Okay, great. - Okay.
Yeah. - Thank you.
- And thanks for this.
- You got it.
- Bye.
- All right Clive, I will humor you.
Let's see what all the hubbub's about.
(light upbeat music)
(chimes with each messages)
- [Woman On Phone] Olive, Cupid's Proxy's turned into
a newspaper's equivalent of going viral.
We're getting Tweet's, Facebook likes and shares
like never before.
Then local news wants to do a story on you.
They wanna know everything about
this new alter ego of yours.
They're sending a reporter out today--
- What, today?
No not today, not today, that can't happen.
- [Woman On Phone] Yes today, I'm counting on you.
- I'll call you back.
Ugh.
♪ If your girlfriend doesn't love you ♪
♪ And you only have a buck
♪ You can
♪ La la la la
- Unstuck.
Ugh, outta luck.
Stew, you really suck.
Okay.
Think happy, think upbeat, think smiling faces.
Think of you at a higher tax bracket.
♪ If you only have a dollar
♪ You give the store a holler
♪ And we'll be right there for you ♪
(toy car engine revving) (light upbeat music)
- Houston, we have a problem.
(toy car crashing)
It seemed like such a good idea.
And it was so well received.
Oh, I guess I got carried away.
Now they want me to talk to this reporter about--
- What?
- I guess I'm gonna have to tell them the truth, honey.
- No no no, you can't.
- Oh no wait, no no no, no, I won't tell them it's you
but I am gonna have to tell it's not really me.
- What if you get fired?
What about the cruises?
- I don't see any other way.
- I have an idea.
(light upbeat music)
- So Olive, personally I think you're brilliant.
And, you know, I'm dying to know.
I think we're all dying to know,
how you came up with Cupid's Proxy.
- Well, you could say that Cupid's Proxy
walked right into my living room.
- [Reporter] Just came in one day?
- Mm-hm.
- [Reporter] Blew in through the wind. - Mm-hm.
- I love reading your column. I mean, I read it every single day.
And don't get me wrong, I liked it before,
but now it's like you're two different people.
- Oh well, that's just what it is.
We are two people.
We both have our very own distinct voices
and our way of doling out advice.
It's just like I invited a, wise beyond their years tween,
right into my living room.
- I totally get that.
Sometimes you have to straddle both worlds, am I right?
- Uh-huh, yes, we all have to adjust to the times.
- So how did you pick up on the lingo so quickly?
I mean, I know you're known for your,
I don't mean to sound insulting or anything,
more mild mannered speech and, you know,
older sensibilities when you're giving advice.
- Well I have read up a lot on how teens speak.
I can't say that I like it
but Cupid's Proxy has seemed to master the vernacular,
and I have to say it's opened up
a whole new world of readers.
- It's so cool how you talk about CP
almost as if she's a totally different person.
- Oh, um.
Who says she can't be a he.
(laughing)
- Olive, you so complex, you my kinda girl.
(light upbeat music)
- [Natalie] Hey Justin, what are you doing out here?
- What are you doing back so soon?
- Duh, I've been gone for a week.
Haven't you missed me?
- Like a bug bite.
- What about Bug's Life?
- Never mind, look I have to--
- Hey, did you notice the van
from the news station out front?
I don't know what they're doing here.
Do you know anything about it?
Hey, I'm gonna go check it out.
I'm gonna go talk to them. - Natalie.
- Geez, you can't talk to them.
- Why not?
They're right there, I'm just gonna go over there. - Natalie!
Why are you like this, what's wrong with you?
Don't you ever stop bugging people?
You're like an annoying puppy that won't go away.
And you're constantly butting in on other people's business.
Don't you get the hint when people want you to stop talking?
You better get a clue before school starts
or else you're not gonna have any friends at all.
And by the way, I don't wanna be your friend.
Not now, not ever.
Wait wait, Natalie.
Natalie, it's just that--
Natalie.
Nice, Murphy, real nice.
(melancholy music)
Mom.
- Hi, honey, what's up?
You look sad.
Did the dog run away?
- We don't have a dog.
- [Rebecca] Come here.
- I miss him even though I don't remember him.
Is that weird?
Missing someone you can't remember.
- No, no.
It's not weird at all.
He used to hold you in his arms and sing you to sleep.
And he pushed you all around town
in that crummy little stroller
that we were so afraid was gonna snap shut
and swallow you up at any moment.
- I wish I could have remembered him better.
- Me too.
But always remember, he gave you
all the gifts that he had inside him.
All his hopes and dreams that he had for you
they're all right here.
Just waiting to be discovered.
- Did you always love dahlias?
- Actually, tulips are my favorite
but your dad brought me dahlias on our first date.
That's how I remember him.
- Tell me again some of the things you guys did together.
- Well, we used to love to hike
and there was this one time that we went up to--
- Big Bass Lake.
- Yeah, and we got so lost that we had to--
- Start a fire to send smoke signals.
- We're lucky that your dad had a scout badge
in fire building because all I knew how to do
was run around in circles and yell for help.
(laughing)
(gentle music)
- I was a real jerk to Natalie today.
I hurt her feelings really bad.
I tired to apologize but she wouldn't listen.
What would dad do?
- Well remember all those gifts I told you
he passed onto you?
I think you already know what he would do.
- Thanks, Mom.
(gentle music)
- [News Anchor] ...relationship advice, I know I do.
Our correspondent Daniel Clark
gives us a peek into the rad new world
of Call Me Cupid. - Oh, Jay!
- Jay, Olive is on TV.
- Right here.
- I'm here today with Olive Petrick,
better known as Call Me Cupid,
who's launched a viral sensation
with her alter ego Cupid's Proxy.
Olive, I think you're brilliant,
I know we all think you're brilliant.
You so complex, you my kinda girl.
- Wow, oh, she killed it.
That woman is somethin' else.
And such a brilliant idea.
I love how she said that she and Cupid's Proxy
were two people.
- Yeah, I mean, that's just what they are.
I, she was being honest, right?
You know, in a creative kinda way.
You know, right, right?
- Right.
(upbeat music)
(orchestral music)
(doorbell ringing)
- Oh, this is so cute, he loves Olive so much.
What a goof ball.
- Ow!
Sorry, I'm having a bad day.
- You know, I'm in a bit of a dilemma myself.
What do you, hey, what do you say we grab some root beers,
go outside and talk about it?
Okay.
- Girls.
I don't get 'em.
(laughing)
They want attention, attention, attention,
and then when one little things goes wrong, bam.
They go dark and totally ignore you.
- Are you having a fight with your girlfriend?
- No, not my girlfriend, just a friend.
A sort of friend.
I like her in a weird way.
She could actually be a friend
if she wasn't so amped up all the time.
I said some super harsh thing to her
and now she won't even talk to me.
- Did you try apologizing?
- Yeah, I got the total shut out.
- You could write her a song.
- I'm not ready for that.
- Do you know what I've always found works for me?
- What?
- Speak from your heart, tell her the truth.
Now look, you just said that you've said
some pretty harsh things to her, right?
So own it, apologize to her,
tell her how bad it made you feel
and she'll respect you for that.
You might even become better friends for it too.
- Thanks, Stewart,
for talking girls and stuff.
(laughing)
- Hey, that can be the name of our first album.
Girls and Stuff by Justin and Stewart.
(laughing)
- [Justin] So how about you, what's your dilemma?
- Oh, um, yeah yeah, it's a bit more complicated
than your situation but you can definitely file it
under girls and stuff.
(laughing)
Besides, you're my priority.
I'm on your clock.
- See ya next week.
- Thanks, Pop Shop.
- Yeah.
- [Rebecca] How'd it go?
- [Justin] Awesome.
- Ugh.
What a sweet kid.
Hey.
- Does the kid know you got eyes for his mama?
(laughing)
- [Stewart] What?
- Have a seat, Stew.
Sean Murphy.
- Who?
- That was the boy's daddy.
He was killed in the line of duty
when he pulled a teenage kid out of a burning car
before the fire department got there.
Cost him his life.
Justin must have been a baby then.
- So you knew him?
- Well, I knew of him.
There wasn't a ladder company or precinct in the whole state
that didn't know the story of that family.
- Why are you telling me this?
- Because you're gonna have to work double time
to win that one over.
- Justin?
- [Clive] No, Stew.
- We're pals, that kid and I work--
- Stew,
not the kid, the mama.
Now, that river runs deep and wide, my friend.
It's not gonna be easy.
- How do you know so much about her?
- Well who said I know anything about her?
I just know about heartache and she's had her fair share
and then some, and I'll tell ya another thing,
she's not the only one around here
that's had a rough go of it.
- Okay, Clive, I don't--
- Dude, I've seen you back in that room
playing your melancholy songs.
You're sad, you know,
how long has it been since she left ya?
- A while.
Maybe it's time you took a chance.
Might be good for both of you.
I gotta go work.
- You really should go.
- Go where?
- To hear Stewart play.
He's really good and he's really nice.
Maybe you could take Olive with you.
- Rats, I think I forgot the arugula.
- You hate arugula.
- Yeah, well that was called a change-up.
It's what adults do when they want their children
to stay out of their social lives.
Instead of blatantly calling them buttinskies.
- Mm, you just made that up.
A change-up's a baseball pitch.
- A deceptively slow pitch intended to throw off the batter.
Get the connection?
So what's on your agenda, slugger?
- Over to Natalie's again.
This time I'll try falling on my sword.
- Not the rusty one.
You don't need guilt and a nasty infection.
- Then over to Olive's to help her with some stuff.
- You've been spending a lot of time over there lately.
What does she got you doing?
Building a bomb shelter, preparing for a zombie apocalypse?
- Yeah.
- [Rebecca] Cool, be home in time for dinner.
And don't bring any walking dead.
- [Justin] Okay, whatever.
- Whatever?
When did we start that trend?
(doorbell ringing)
- I suffer from hay fever.
- Oh.
I didn't know. - Flowers cause
- the mucous membrane of my eyes and nose
to get all stuffy and itchy and I sneeze all over the place.
- Sorry.
- You're a real jerk face, Justin Murphy.
(guitar music)
This place is actually very, very special to me.
It's like my favorite place in the whole entire world.
The sheets are made of, well, my bedroom.
Anyway...
(guitar music)
- My dad died when I was a baby. He was a hero.
He was saving a kid from a car that was on fire and--
- Oh, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything
if you don't want to. - It's okay.
- I've only ever really talked about it to my mom.
She always keep dahlia flowers in the house
to remember him by.
They gave him a metal of valor.
I have it in my room, I mean,
I can show you sometime if you want.
But, you know, you don't have to.
- That would be totally cool
but I would never go in your room or anything,
you know, 'cause I wouldn't be allowed.
Your mom would probably say no
and my mom would definitely say now, you know.
I totally get it if it doesn't work out.
Yeah, I talk a lot.
It can really annoying but, you know,
I just keep going and going and I've been doing it so--
(laughing)
- Yeah, you definitely talk a lot.
I mean, where's your off switch?
- I know it's a really bad habit,
it started when my parents told me
that they were getting a divorce,
I thought if I kept talking maybe they'd stay together
and talking would make them stay together.
But, didn't work.
- Friends?
(sweet music)
Oh, okay.
So, you're a talker and a hugger.
Good to know.
Hey, I gotta go, I told Olive I'd help her today.
- Oh hey, since we're friends I'll tell
I don't really suffer from hay fever.
I was trying to--
- It's okay.
I deserved it.
See ya.
(piano music)
- Here you go, buddy.
- This is too much.
I told you the second one was an experiment.
See if we got more action.
- And we did get more action.
Go check the online comments.
- "More Proxy."
"Proxy rocks."
"Updating my subscription to forever."
Wow.
- And that's just the tip of the ice berg.
These people, these young people who write in
they love Cupid's Proxy more than they love Cupid.
I just don't know how long we can,
or we should keep this up.
That TV interview, it just about did me in, honey.
Whoa. - I can teach you.
- Honey, I'm an old dog.
You know what they say about old dogs?
- They learn quicker than young stubborn dogs?
(laughing)
- You sure know how to turn a phrase, kid.
- Let's see.
I'll pick one sent online, like I'd be answering it myself,
but I'll walk you right through it.
- Oh, well all right.
- Here's one.
"Dear Cupid's Proxy.
I'm a musician and embarrassed to say a hopeless romantic
but unlucky in love.
A terrible combination."
This sounds like Stewart.
"There's this woman I'd like to get to know better
but every time I approach her, I blow it.
I even went to her house to return something
and got all tongue tied like a teenage boy.
I'm a decent guy.
And advice on how to get my foot in the door
without putting it in my mouth first?
Sincerely, Tex."
- Justin, hello.
- Oh my gosh, this really could be him.
- Who?
- So I popped into the Bulk and Stuff today
to pick up 600 rolls of toilet paper
and I cannot believe that I never noticed this before
but that place sells diapers and coffins.
I just, I was laughing out loud.
Speaking of laughing out loud,
Stewart was so funny when he came by.
Justin, who on Earth are talking to?
You haven't had an imaginary friend since you were four.
- Ah.
- Anyway, Stewart was so cute, he was almost tongue tied.
You know, he wrote one of the coolest jingles
that I've ever heard for the Nothin' but Pop Shop.
It is one of my favorites of all time.
- Um, may I please be excused?
I think I left something over at Olive's.
- Okay but, put your plate in the kitchen.
(exciting music)
- Eat fast, school is officially in session.
Let's go.
- [Olive] Ugh, oh.
- What advice would you give Tex?
- Well, clearly this woman is not interested in him
so I would tell him, gently, to move on.
There's other fish in the sea.
- Ah, wrong!
If you were interested in someone,
I mean really interested in someone,
would you give up without a fight?
This guy's probably no spring chicken.
Time could be running out for him.
And the woman he wants to get to know
probably needs a little push
but may not even know she needs a little push.
Maybe she's lonely and doesn't want to admit it.
Or maybe she's just scared.
- I see your point.
- Try again and this time answer like Cupid's Proxy.
- Yo, bro.
- No rhyming.
- Yo, dude?
Yo, dude, your attitude is--
- This is going to be a long night.
- What?
- Well hello, Tex.
- Ugh.
(playful music)
- You were so great on TV the other day, Olive.
Ugh, this Cupid's Proxy thing is so creative.
And I love what Proxy told Tex in your column today.
Texans are just so sweet and polite.
I feel so bad for him, he's trying so hard.
(laughing)
- I thought you didn't read my column.
- Oh come on, of course I do.
You're my friend, how could I not?
Just don't tell the kid.
Yeah, it'll spoil one of our sacred
mother-son banter subjects.
Besides, it's in my nature to be stubbornly quirky
and irreverent about all things
related to love and relationship.
People wouldn't recognize me if I changed.
(laughing)
It'd be like if I started wearing matte lipstick.
Have you seen what matte lipstick does to your teeth?
Seriously, you would have to keep reminding me
to go like this all the time.
(laughing)
- Would it kill you to just consider dating?
- Well, there's no scientific proof
that it wouldn't kill me.
And then who would raise my beautiful boy?
- Yeah, well that beautiful boy
is gonna grow up without a man in his life.
That what you really want?
- So you didn't even read the advice?
- No.
And I don't want to.
It's embarrassing enough I even wrote in.
I spent the night listening to a little too much Air Supply,
I took your advice and now here I am.
- All righty.
- No no no, no, come on, man, don't don't.
- "Dear Tex.
Yo dude." I love that.
"I totally hear you, I recently found myself in similar sitch
and I had to dig deep to find out what I was made of.
Keep the faith, man, and keep trying.
You may be unlucky in love but maybe Miss Reluctant
and has a story you just don't know about, yo.
If you don't keep trying to ask her out
you can be missing out on your OTP.
Peace out, bro."
- I can't even believe I'm asking you this.
What's OTP?
- One True Pairing.
I Googled it.
(guitar music)
- Hey, Jay!
What do you wanna watch for movie night?
Maybe a slapstick comedy or like a, um.
Oh, hey Natalie, you gonna join us for movie night?
- Actually, Mom, Natalie and her folks invited me
to go to the Multiplex with them.
- They're playing the very first Star Wars.
You know, the one with super low tech CGI.
It's so quaint.
- Oh, okay.
Well, is this like a, like a date or something?
- No, Mom, no. - It's kinda like a date.
- No, Mom, not a date. - It's kind of.
- No, not a date.
- It's like a friend date.
- I made you a list of highly, highly recommended movies.
- Oh, well thank you, I guess.
Are you sure you guys wanna go to the Multiplex?
It's gonna be a zoo, crowded.
I mean, lots of screaming kids and sticky.
Really really sticky, I wouldn't be surprised
if your shoes stick to the floor
and you come home in just your socks.
Are you sure you don't wanna just stay here with me instead?
- [Justin] Love you, bye.
- [Rebecca] Hey.
- [Natalie] Bye.
- Say Anything, When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle.
Really?
Oh, where'd that one go?
- [Clive] Well?
- Well what?
- Well, what do you think?
Did you call and ask her out?
- Can you please pass the mic stand?
Save the death stare for the non-tippers.
- You know, I once heard Wayne Gretzky say
"You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take."
Think about that, Stew.
(engine revving) (guns banging)
(gentle music)
- [Justin] Mom.
Wake up and go to bed.
(moaning)
- Oh, man.
Oh, Three Stooges, that's what I should of watched
instead of World Apocalypse 15.
How many times can Hollywood wipe out humanity anyway?
- I hear World Apocalypse 16's in the works.
- Hmm.
Hey, how was your date?
Sorry, your non, your non-date.
- I'm starting to rethink my position, a little.
- Hmm.
All right, well don't stay up too late, okay?
- All right.
(gentle music)
- [Justin Voiceover] Dear Tex,
I don't know if they'll print my letter
but I wanted to tell you that yours sounded very nice.
You seem like someone I'd like to know.
I haven't been unlucky in love like you
but I have had my broken in a million pieces
a long time ago.
So I probably sort of know how you feel,
just in a different way.
You also sound familiar, maybe we already know each other.
Wouldn't that be funny?
I think Cupid's Proxy's advise to keep trying
was right on.
Sincerely, Jingle Lady.
(soft orchestra music)
- I don't think my proxy speak is coming along too well.
It still doesn't feel natural.
- You just need more practice.
Here, pretend you're a lady that needs some advice.
- Okay.
Dear Cupid's Proxy, I would like my boyfriend
to buy me an obnoxiously large engagement ring
but he said he can't afford it.
Am I being unreasonable?
Sincerely, Ringless.
- Dear Ringless, hashtag whoa, Nellie.
The last thing you wanna do is make your B backslash F,
that means boyfriend, feel you like he can't do you a solid.
Do something really nice.
Because he doesn't have the paper, money.
Give him some props, proper consideration,
for having a good job and put yourself in his shoes.
Kicks, for short.
And DTRT, do the right thing.
C4N, see you for now.
Cupid's Proxy.
- Oh my gosh, you're Cupid's Proxy.
- Look, Natalie, this has to be CIA, FBI,
Homeland Security, totally top secret.
- I promise I won't tell a soul.
This is just so exciting!
I cannot believe that I'm actually meeting Cupid's Proxy!
- [Olive] I think that you have had enough sugar, baby girl.
- I give you my word of honor, Justin,
I will not tell another living being.
My lips are sealed shut with super glue.
They could even drag me down into a swamp
full of giant crocodiles and slimy water
before I say anything! - Super glue!
- Remember.
- [Natalie] Right.
(soft orchestra music)
- So, what else do you like to do?
Besides music.
You like to hike?
- Ah, I like hiking.
In the fall when the air gets a little crisp and cool.
- Do you know how to build a good fire?
Camp fire I mean, or the kind you'd use
to send smoke signals for example?
- Well, this goes without saying, I was an Eagle Scout.
- Do you like corny jokes?
Really bad corny jokes.
- I love any attempt at humor.
What is with the interview?
I'm really not that interesting.
- I think people that say they're not that interesting
really are interesting.
They just don't like to admit it
because they're shy or modest or--
- Yeah, am I being charged for the session, Dr. Murphy?
- Oh well, hey look at the time.
Don't wanna be late, see ya, Stewart.
- Yeah, what is up with him today?
I think he was just kicking my tires.
He was kicking my tires.
(soft upbeat music)
- Olive.
- Hey honey, in the kitchen!
- "I think Cupid's Proxy's advice to keep trying
was right on.
Sincerely, Jingle Lady."
Wow, maybe these two actually do know each other.
- Well, you never know.
But we better be careful with this one.
People get kind of creepy sometimes, you know what I mean?
But this letter, it did come from our zip code.
Which makes you wonder, that other letter came online
so this guy Tex he could be from anywhere in this country.
- You gotta send it in.
I mean, what if Tex saw it and then he responded.
Maybe these two could actually meet.
What a great story that would be.
And then if the liked each other
who knows what else could happen?
- Well, slow down, Romeo.
You're getting a little too wrapped up in this one but
we don't really even know who these people are.
- Promise me you'll send it in.
I have a really good feeling about this one.
Please, promise me you'll send it in.
- Like that, yeah.
(laughing)
How's the jingle coming?
- Oh, we're exchanging ideas over email.
- Maybe you should go to Clive's on Friday,
that way you could hear him play
and you guys could talk face to...
(toy car crashes)
...face.
- Sorry.
- I'm sure it'll be fine.
- Yeah, it looks fine.
- Kind of.
- Yeah.
- You read the paper today?
- Later, Gossip Girl.
(upbeat music)
- Mom, I'm going to Natalie's.
- Okay, Justin who isn't here.
You know, I can't make decisions
until my French roast kicks in anyway.
- That is so cool.
Maybe you and Olive will be responsible
for putting two lonely people together.
Just like real cupids.
Oh my gosh, then you can have the bow and the arrow.
- Natalie.
Can you keep a secret?
- Okay, I know I talk a lot but that's completely random things
that no one listens to,
but when it totally comes to really important stuff
you can always count on me.
Oh my gosh, that was the name of the song.
Oh my God, that has been bothering me for days now!
Do you remember that?
That was so bad.
Oh my gosh. - I'm going to tell you something
that nobody else on the planet or the universe knows.
- Oh my gosh, you're not telling me Taylor Swift
lip syncs to her own songs, are you?
Because that would just bring my world
totally crashing down.
- No.
I wrote the letter.
- Yeah, I know you're Cupid's Proxy.
That secret is, like, just so yesterday.
- No, I'm also Jingle Lady.
(laughing)
- How many people are you?
- I had to tell it to somebody
or I was gonna spontaneously combust or something.
I was hoping he'd see it and think it was her
and call her or come over or something.
- Hey, I have an idea.
Why don't you invite Stewart over without your mom knowing.
Kinda like a surprise blind date.
- You don't know my mom.
She'd probably send me off to a military school
to train the buttinsky out of me.
- Buttin-whaty?
- Never mind.
Now, that the letter's been printed
I'm going to put Operation Tulip into play.
- What's that?
- Just trust me.
- Always.
(upbeat music)
- [Justin Voiceover] Dear Tex:
Yo! It's me with some solid advice
to snag that sweet Jingle Lady.
One word, bro.
Tulips.
Every woman loves them.
Call me cra-cra but I'll bet her faves are yellow.
Peace out, CP.
- Hey, this doesn't mean it's her.
This could be anybody.
Could be some nut job.
All right, who're we kidding?
Gonna sit here all day and feel like a stalker?
I'm not a stalker.
Just, for the record, I'm not a stalker.
All right.
You threw out the first shot, she answered the call.
You poke the bear, you gotta get in the ring.
Now, let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go, we're goin', I'm going.
I'm going, I'm going.
All right, let's go.
(notes on guitar)
(brakes squeaking)
(soft music)
(knocking taps)
- [Rebecca] Hey Justin, can you get that for me?
(water spraying)
- Sorry, Mom, I'm in the shower.
- Oh. - Hi.
- Hi, Stewart.
Oh my gosh, did we have a meeting scheduled for today?
- No no no no, no, I thought I'd drive by
and drop off some tulips for you.
- Oh,
okay.
- Oh, sorry.
(car alarm blaring)
(car beeping)
Tulips.
(laughing)
- I thought that maybe Justin forgot his music again.
- No, not this time, Jingle Lady.
- Sorry, I just, I wasn't expecting any company.
- Yeah yeah, I totally get that, yeah.
- Thanks for the flowers, though.
- Of course.
Thank you, Jingle Lady.
- Okay.
- Jingle Lady, tulips?
Oh, this is embarrassing.
I'm sorry Rebecca, I am, I am very sorry.
(door closes)
- Jingle Lady!
Olive, you sneaky little cupid.
Wait a minute.
Oh, please, let me be wrong.
- Wow.
Do I smell pancakes?
- Good morning, sweet pea.
You certainly do.
I'm making them in the shape of happy faces.
I'm using chocolate chips for the eyes
and the little smiley mouths.
- Oh, what's the occasion?
- Oh, I just, I had this revelation last night, that's all.
And I thought that I would spread the joy
and I invited Olive over for dinner.
Say, why don't you invite your little friend Natalie too.
I am making my super famous baked salmon.
- I didn't know you had a famous baked salmon.
- Oh, it'll be real famous after tonight.
Trust me.
I'd like to propose a toast.
To good times, good friends, and above all, honesty.
Well, let's eat.
- That was the best salmon I ever had.
- And now I know why you said it'd be famous after tonight.
- Ah, well nothing gets passed you
does it, Justin Sean Murphy?
- Mrs. Murphy, is this salmon farmers or wild?
'Cause I always heard that wild is way better
than the farm kind 'cause the fish get, like,
all overcrowded and get really unsanitary in the fish pen.
So, I just wanna know because we ate it,
so I just wanna know.
- Natalie, my dear sweet child, please zip it.
- Oh yeah, sorry.
- So listen up, y'all.
To top off this glorious evening
I've come up with a fun new game.
It's wholesome, exciting
and promotes good healthy communication skills.
It's called Truth or Truth.
Who wants to play?
- Oh, me me me, I love games.
Do we have-- - Justin.
You first.
- Didn't you make brownies for desert?
- Truth or Truth?
- Truth.
- Excellent choice.
Who is Cupid's Proxy?
- Oh, um, Rebecca, honey, I can explain everything.
- No, Justin. - No, it's not his--
It's not his--
- I am.
- It's not his fault.
I was under the gun with my editor,
my job was on the line and I got scared.
He did the first one as a challenge and then
I published it as Cupid's Proxy without him knowing.
- And I guess you found out that Tex was his music teacher
and you took on persona number three?
- I didn't know who Tex's was.
- Really, Olive?
Next you're gonna tell me
you don't know who Jingle Lady is either.
- Mom.
- No no, what she did was wrong.
- I'm Jingle Lady also.
I'm the one that figured out Tex was Stewart.
I wrote the letter and mailed it to Call Me Cupid.
I begged Olive to print it, she didn't know I wrote it.
I thought Stewart would see it and think it was you.
Not really you, but the pretend you and ask you out.
- [Olive] Oh.
- I can't believe what I'm hearing.
- None of this would have happened
if I hadn't gotten Justin involved.
Justin, I am so sorry.
I was selfish and foolish
and reckless. - I didn't have to do it.
I was selfish too.
I did it just because I wanted a new guitar.
- What?
- I agreed to pay him for every response as Cupid's Proxy.
But then there was that horrible TV interview.
I just felt like I'm so dishonest.
It was hard for me to live with myself after that.
Then, I asked Justin to teach me how to speak Proxy
but I couldn't get the hang of it.
All those yos and bros and the techless,
whatever you call it.
I'm gonna call my editor in the morning
and set everything straight.
It's probably time for this old bird to fly the coop anyway.
Oh, Becca, honey, honey,
I hope you can find a way to forgive me.
I love you, I love Justin.
I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you,
in a million years.
You're the only family I have.
- I'll call you tomorrow, okay?
- Is it over yet?
Is he still alive?
Should I go home now?
- No, yes and...
yes.
- Tomorrow we'll go see Stewart.
You owe him a very big apology for deceiving him like that.
- I thought, just maybe,
just maybe you'd like him
and you'd wanna go out.
Never mind, it doesn't matter.
I'm really sorry, Mom.
Really sorry.
I guess I really messed things up, didn't I?
- Don't worry, kid, your heart was in the right place.
Besides, this is probably the kick in the pants I needed.
I need to get back in the saddle again.
- I'm just really sorry if you were embarrassed.
- Embarrassed?
Now, why would I be embarrassed?
Because I hit on my favorite student's mother,
I showed up at her front door unannounced
with tulips in hand, I called her Jingle Lady
referring to a relationship column
that I thought she was trying to communicate to me
but she has no idea what I was talking about,
now I gotta see her in a few minutes.
I wonder how that confrontation's gonna go.
But why would I be embarrassed?
(laughing)
Well, I guess Cupid got me with the golden arrow
and got your mom with the lead one.
- What do you mean?
- If you're fortunate enough to get to shot
with the golden arrow from cupid
your heart was filled with love and desire.
But if you get hit with the blunt tipped lead one
you just have a desire to flee.
It's a bummer there weren't two golden ones this time.
- Well, I'm not gonna let you sit there
with a refreshment of some kind.
Young lady, what would you like?
- All righty then, well, I will have a water.
Straight up, nothing but the hard stuff for this gal.
- You got it. Coming up.
You know...
I...
I knew your husband.
He was a good man, brave man.
- How did you know him?
- Well, I bought this place after I retired
from the fire department.
We all knew who he was, of course, so...
You know, I believe
that some people are put on this Earth for a reason
and I think his reason was much bigger than ours.
I believe that.
- Yeah.
- But,
he's not here anymore, and you are.
You and that little man.
- Okay, buddy.
All good?
- All good.
- Okay.
- Hey. - Hey.
- I just wanna.
- [Stewart] Sorry.
- No.
- I'm very sorry. - I guess we'll just put it all--
We'll just put it all behind us.
- Yeah.
- [Rebecca] Okay, buddy, time to go.
- Take care.
- You'd be so proud of him.
He's protective, kind and strong.
He sees a need and he tries to fill it.
Just like his dad.
- Ow.
Hey, Mom, where's the Parmesan cheese shaker?
What are you guys doing here?
- I'm your movie night date.
- [Natalie] Me too.
It's two girls against one boy
so we'll probably be watching The Princess Diaries,
Ella Enchanted or binging reruns of iCarly.
- Or maybe some classics like Gone With the Wind
or Cleopatra.
- Where's my mom?
(footsteps)
- All right, have fun, you three.
- Where's the fuzzy slippers?
- Well, I have something to do tonight.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Heard there was a guy here who could play the guitar
and string a couple words together.
- Oh, oh yeah, yeah there is.
Jackson Smith, he's here Saturday nights
and the ladies love him.
- No, I'm talking about you.
- Oh.
I'm sorry.
Now I'm the one misunderstanding.
Sorry, after you.
- [Rebecca] Well, I'm not gonna sing.
- [Stewart] No.
- Smells great.
- Oh, wash up.
We're having company for dinner.
I'm making my super famous baked salmon.
Is there anything you need to tell me before they get here?
Chill, I'm just joking.
It's parental humor.
- Not cool.
- [Rebecca] So cool, so cool.
(door knocking)
Oh, can you get that, please?
- [Justin] Hey.
- Hello there. I have a gift for you.
- [Justin] What?
- Psych.
Tex, it's a gift meant to be given to somebody
who'll appreciate him like I did when he was given to me.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
- Oh, well, he's also a fly catcher too.
It's one of his many talents.
- These are for you.
- [Rebecca] Well, thank you.
Dinner's almost ready. Come on in.
- Hey, what's for dinner?
- Sure, come on in, Natalie.
♪ Is this another chance at love ♪
♪ I learned a lot last time around ♪
♪ Are you an angel from above ♪
♪ This could be heaven that I found ♪
(gentle guitar music)