1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:07,790 -ANNOUNCER: Start clapping your hands right now, -[CROWD CHEERING] 3 00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:11,446 doing it all day, now waiting for nobody, that's my baby. 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 5 00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:14,101 Fatimah Taliah... 6 00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:16,233 [ALL CHEERING] 7 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:19,671 -FATIMAH: Yeah! -[APPLAUSE] 8 00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:22,022 A bitch did it, okay. 9 00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:23,849 Okay. 10 00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:26,113 I'm not going to lie. this shit was hard as hell. 11 00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:28,332 [LAUGHING] 12 00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:31,074 This is the first time I've ever been excited to stand in front of a negative ass crowd. 13 00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,467 -Okay? -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 14 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,382 I never thought I'd say that, but I'm like, 15 00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:37,298 Oh shit, everybody in this motherfucking negative's in the motherfucker. 16 00:00:37,341 --> 00:00:40,344 I will say that it's been a hell of a year, right? 17 00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:43,391 All the comments I saw today, we was all like, "This is my first time 18 00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:46,524 being outside, doing comedy," that's like it's crazy for us to do that, 19 00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:49,875 but I was like this first time everybody was able to do that shit and... 20 00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:53,662 It's dope, but it's been a year we've been trapped in the house, huh? 21 00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:55,620 Oh, my God. 22 00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:58,101 I got trapped in with myself. Anybody got trapped in with they selves, 23 00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,147 and be like, "God damn, I hate me!" 24 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,757 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 25 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,237 I wish this bitch would leave. 26 00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:06,109 Just go! [LAUGHS] 27 00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:08,242 Tired of yourself like, I... 28 00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:11,593 Quarantine with some bullshit, wasn't it? They letting us turn up 29 00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:14,596 and they was like you gotta go home and look at yourself. 30 00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:18,817 [LAUGHING] 31 00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:21,124 It's funny because, like you think about that shit, 32 00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:24,214 while you're in quarantine, I'm a mess, gotta get my shit together. 33 00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:27,304 But there ain't shit like being in quarantine and being single, though, 34 00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:28,914 Nigga... 35 00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:30,264 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 36 00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:32,483 That's what you really spill it. You like, Oh... 37 00:01:32,527 --> 00:01:35,182 You won't feel it when you out because there's like options. 38 00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:39,577 When you were inside, and it's just you you like, " I don't have much porn." 39 00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:42,363 I don't even love me as much. 40 00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:44,452 Oh, my God. This was a year, man. 41 00:01:44,495 --> 00:01:47,803 I think it was good, though, because I feel like this was the year... 42 00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:50,197 when not only did we get to see ourselves, 43 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,155 but we got to see this fucking country. 44 00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:55,332 Whoa nigga, 45 00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:58,814 it's the first time I ever really paid this close to the president. 46 00:01:58,857 --> 00:02:02,513 But I liked it, don't know why. Don't tell nobody I said this but it was crazy. 47 00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:05,386 I ain't never seen a president this motherfucking cool in my life. 48 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:09,520 I was like, this is the real, this nigga running the country like a real nigga. 49 00:02:09,564 --> 00:02:13,742 He running the country exactly like everybody thought Obama was going to do it. 50 00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:16,397 Everybody thought Obama was gonna be a real nigga. It was a white man 51 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,703 with a fucked up wig. 52 00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:21,619 He showed up and ran the country like a real nigga. 53 00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,752 He running the country like Soulja Boy. 54 00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:25,667 I didn't know what to do 55 00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:28,844 with this shit, like, but you see it close on, you like, damn, like, 56 00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:33,109 Donald Trump come to fucking press conference wearing fucking basketball shorts. 57 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,850 He don't give a fuck. [CHUCKLES] 58 00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:37,896 He come in scratching his head, with a fucking wave cap on. 59 00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:39,594 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 60 00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:41,335 All right, Mr. President. What do you think about the virus? 61 00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:44,512 He's like, "Oh, shit, y'all niggas you still on that? Damn." 62 00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:46,427 Move on! 63 00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:47,950 I'm tired of this shit. 64 00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,821 They like, "Sir, put your shirt back on." 65 00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,345 He was like, "So many rules." 66 00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:53,695 The fuck. 67 00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:56,219 Never seen anybody run a country like this in my life. 68 00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:59,048 They are like Sir, tell us, what do you think? What is the plan? 69 00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:01,181 What are you gonna do with virus? 70 00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:03,922 He was like, "Look, nigga, only 200 thousand people is dead, and it ain't that many. 71 00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:06,011 -Come on! -[ALL LAUGHING] 72 00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:08,579 Damn, why you all on my dick? 73 00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,929 They like, "Sir, put your pants back on." 74 00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:13,323 It like it's hot in here. Don't give me so many rules. 75 00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:15,282 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 76 00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:19,111 They ain't ready. I'm trying out here, you like, this is crazy. [LAUGHING] 77 00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:22,332 Oh my God, like I never seen, like I grew up on the South Side of Chicago, 78 00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:24,247 so I know pimps and Donald Trump... 79 00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:25,901 -Yes. Come on now. -[CROWD CHEERING] 80 00:03:25,944 --> 00:03:28,295 So I feel like this nigga talk to us like a pimp, don't he? 81 00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:31,385 He come out like, Look baby, it is what it is but it ain't what it ain't. 82 00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,256 I don't make it do what it do. You like, 83 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,867 "What? This is a country. This nigga's crazy." 84 00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:37,652 Help us. 85 00:03:37,695 --> 00:03:40,002 He talked to us like that. He talked slick to us every time... 86 00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:42,222 We be like, sir, there's a virus, shit's not looking good 87 00:03:42,265 --> 00:03:44,702 "Look babe, let me explain something to you." 88 00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:48,837 Ain't everybody. Just slow your ass down and look in my eyes, it's gonna be all right. 89 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,231 I do what I can. 90 00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,581 -So, y'all, I never... -[ALL LAUGHING] 91 00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,278 I was like, I've seen this before. 92 00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:57,193 This doesn't add up. [LAUGHING] 93 00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,152 I never seen nobody be this aggressive on us like this, 94 00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:04,896 like Donald Trump, the only president I've seen to blame us for the problems, we havin'. 95 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,421 He be like they soft, they weak. 96 00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:10,337 We get forced to be by ourselves and watching Donald Trump made me 97 00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:14,166 watch myself. A couple years back, I got arrested. 98 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:16,256 -Yes. -[BLOWS WHISTLE] 99 00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,823 Watching Donald Trump being drunk like that, I was like, that's how I looked. 100 00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:20,651 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 101 00:04:20,695 --> 00:04:24,438 So I got arrested and landed my ass in anger management... 102 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,440 Like anger management, okay. 103 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:29,181 And when I say it's weird, first of all, when you land in anger management, 104 00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:30,835 you don't think nothing wrong with you, 105 00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:32,097 When people say... 106 00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:33,969 You know saying like, when you fucked up, 107 00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:35,753 you don't know you fucked up. Nobody... 108 00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:37,799 When you crazy you don't think you're crazy. 109 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:40,105 You just be like, look they don't understand me. 110 00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:42,456 -[CHUCKLING] -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 111 00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:46,024 But I had to take an intake test, for anger management. 112 00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:48,636 And that's when I realized I was fucked up. 113 00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:53,684 They ask you a couple questions before you enter the class, and the questions were, okay... 114 00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:56,121 Out of every relationship you've been in, 115 00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:58,733 how many physical altercations have you been a part of? 116 00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:02,345 And I was like, that's a trick question, got to be. These niggas ain't shit. 117 00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,347 First of all, they keep being like, 118 00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:07,655 They lyin'. So, I answered and I was like, okay. 119 00:05:08,264 --> 00:05:09,918 All of them. 120 00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:12,834 I was like, that's all right, I got a question two, it's cool. 121 00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:14,226 So I got to question two. 122 00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:18,579 There was like, draw your anger from one to ten. 123 00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:21,886 I just drew a knife. I was like, Oh, shit, baby, I'm crazy. 124 00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:24,802 -I'm fucked up. [LAUGHS] -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 125 00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:27,065 So I end up in anger management and it was funny 126 00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:30,504 because in anger management first thing you do when you go to anger management, 127 00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:33,289 you size everybody up. Cause you know why the fuck you there. 128 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,987 You don't know why everybody else is there, but it was funny 129 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:38,729 because anger management was 45 and up. 130 00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:41,341 Like nobody in my anger management looked like a gangster. 131 00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:43,604 Everybody look like the preschool teacher 132 00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,693 to some nigga, you run into at the post office. 133 00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:47,695 It didn't add up. I was like, I know why the fuck I'm here, 134 00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:49,479 but none of these people look gangster. 135 00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:50,959 I was confused. 136 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:53,091 But the funny part was, 137 00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:55,746 all the people at a anger management were having like you know, work issues... 138 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:58,532 Or one of the stories that stick out to me the most was this 139 00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,925 65-year-old white lady, right? 140 00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:05,539 She had all the potential to be the best librarian you've ever fucking seen. 141 00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:09,238 Nothing about her said anger management to me at all. 142 00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:12,676 When she told her story, I was like, okay, okay. 143 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:17,072 So it started out, they were like, "Carol, tell us why you here." 144 00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:19,814 She was like, "Well, it all started with my neighbor's dog. 145 00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:22,686 "It barked every day, so I decided to kidnap that motherfucker." 146 00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,471 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 147 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,342 "Take him to my house. Now look, I didn't do nothing bad to it. 148 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:29,040 "I fed them the motherfucker every day, I walked it, took care of it, 149 00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:31,086 "but they put up signs saying it was missing, 150 00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:34,045 "and I watched them put up those signs every day. 151 00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:36,091 "And I said to myself, 'Look at those idiots, 152 00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:39,529 "'they don't know that the dog's with me and it'll never bark again...'" 153 00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:41,531 The whole time I'm like, "Oh, shit." 154 00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:44,578 Carol was crazy as fuck, nigga. 155 00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:47,972 I was like, I don't want to ever turn out like this 65-year-old lady. 156 00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:50,061 I said if petty was a fucking product, 157 00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:53,108 I mean, that's what it looks like at 65, like, I'm overly petty, 158 00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:55,719 and I'm gonna make sure that I'm going to stop this dog. 159 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:58,766 At that point, I was like, "Oh, shit. I got to get my shit together." 160 00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:02,291 Like that's when you realize, you don't want to be old petty bitch being like 161 00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:05,468 "The dog was barking, motherfucker, I showed him, I taught him a lesson." 162 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:08,384 You're like, I'm not trying to be that, that ain't trying to be me. 163 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,647 And I realized I was getting older, too. 164 00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:13,868 As you get older, you be like I can't really be on stupid shit like... 165 00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:16,958 I feel like I look young enough to be experimenting, 166 00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:20,396 but too old to be like, nigga, you know better than that shit, like. 167 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,486 You know if somebody catch you being, like, that's wild what you did, 168 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,794 but you like they look at your ID and be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? 169 00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,273 You shouldn't be here. 170 00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:30,711 That's the type of age I'm at. where it looks okay 171 00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:32,713 until you check my ID and then you're like... 172 00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:34,454 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 173 00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:37,065 But I realized I was at that age, man, like, 174 00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:40,242 I'm in my thirties now, and I feel like, in your thirties, 175 00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:42,026 everything looks different right, like... 176 00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:44,464 [EXHALES] 177 00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,944 In your twenties, you don't give a fuck. You just having a good time. 178 00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:49,512 And in your thirties, it feels like you walk into an attic, 179 00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,427 You turn on the light like... [VOCALIZING] 180 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:55,518 And you see all the boxes like God damn! I've been fucking up! Shit! 181 00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:59,566 You see all this shit right behind you, like, God! What... Oh nigga. 182 00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:02,482 You realize it ain't looking good, like it just look bad, 183 00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:04,658 in your thirties. It's not... It's not the game. 184 00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:08,313 I know everybody's always like Black women don't age, It's true. 185 00:08:08,357 --> 00:08:11,360 I'm in my thirties, I'm like, on the cuff of being 40. 186 00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:13,405 Doesn't look like it though, right? 187 00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:14,929 Right, this is the weird shit. 188 00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:17,018 -Yes. -[ALL CHEERING] 189 00:08:17,061 --> 00:08:19,499 We didn't even get to do shit to our face. That's the fucked up part, it sucks. 190 00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:21,413 'Cause like you wake up every day thinking you 20. 191 00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:24,591 But you really get the knees of a 40-year-old bitch, and it's just... 192 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:27,985 It ain't the same, you being in the mirror like, "Shit, I still got it." 193 00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:30,814 You milly rock and blow out your whole damn shoulder. You like... 194 00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:33,861 You can go down for TikTok in your thirties, bitch. 195 00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:37,778 Friends be like, "Where you been bitch?" "Uh, got into a TikTok challenge." 196 00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:40,389 -"Gotta sit out for a couple weeks." -[ALL LAUGHING] 197 00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:43,479 It's true when you get older, it don't hit you the same, 198 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,395 as a Black woman. You know, like we age slower, you know. 199 00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:48,876 You wake up every day, you got the same face. 200 00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:51,400 You look at yourself, you move the same... 201 00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:53,228 And then you realize, 202 00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:55,578 you can't go for runs. You just can't take off. Your knees be like, 203 00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,449 bitch, say go or something. 204 00:08:57,493 --> 00:09:00,235 You just can't leave, you got to say one, two, three you just can't 205 00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:01,802 take off. [LAUGHS] 206 00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,978 -You blow out an ankle or something. -[ALL LAUGHING] 207 00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:05,196 It's ridiculous. [LAUGHS] 208 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,284 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 209 00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:07,982 But I knew I was old young 210 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,114 when... 211 00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:12,856 I did a pre-game with some of my friends in our thirties. 212 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:16,381 If anybody know what pre-game is, that's when we use to party before the party. 213 00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:18,209 That's how you find out you old, bitch. 214 00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:19,602 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] [WHISTLING] 215 00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:21,604 This sounds crazy to me out loud. 216 00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:24,389 Honestly, like when you go, "We going go drink before the party 217 00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:27,479 and have more drinks." You like, what the fuck is wrong with us? 218 00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:29,612 We don't love ourselves. 219 00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,135 That's crazy. [LAUGHING] 220 00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:33,790 Like back in the day, that seemed like a fun ass idea 221 00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:36,053 but now you like bitch, I don't know. 222 00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:38,403 You bitches got low self-esteem. 223 00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:41,015 [LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY] 224 00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:44,453 That's true. I realized I was old as fuck, I was back home 225 00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,107 in Chicago, 226 00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,631 -last year, and it was my birthday, -[WHISTLING] 227 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:52,679 and me and my friends decided to do a pre-game, before we went out, and... 228 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:55,203 let me tell you, we should have never done that. 229 00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:57,118 We were a cool group, I... I come from 230 00:09:57,161 --> 00:10:00,208 a really great group of friends. Where we like are cool girls, you know, 231 00:10:00,251 --> 00:10:02,732 like, I don't know how y'all are, but my friends were like, 232 00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:04,734 girls that never stand in line. 233 00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:07,911 We always had a dude in a party who would buy a bottle for us type shit. 234 00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:11,436 We those type of bitches that would walk up to the rope like, hey how's it's going? 235 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,613 So we were cool bitches. 236 00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:16,877 But like in your thirties, the clique don't look like that no more. Like they... 237 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,793 [CHUCKLES] We weren't none of that. 238 00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,316 We had a little pregame. 239 00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:23,971 Then it was like, cold in Chicago too, so it was like... 240 00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:25,799 You know, in Chicago, you can get shot by the wind, 241 00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,365 like the wind's like "pop pop." 242 00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:29,454 So it's... [CHUCKLES] 243 00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:33,110 So we had a little pre-game, and we went out to one club and tried to party. 244 00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:37,027 We went out for one night, my homegirl slipped on ice and she was like go on without me! 245 00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:39,639 -I'm like, bitch, just stand up. -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 246 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,205 Just get up. 247 00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:43,947 She was like, just leave, go on without me, she fell like 248 00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:46,167 she fell into the night, like, that was... 249 00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,951 the end of it for her. I think. 250 00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:50,780 Her facial expressions said, "this is my way out." 251 00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:51,868 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 252 00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,522 I don't want to do this shit no more. 253 00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:56,046 We get to the party, 254 00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:58,266 finally get to the party my homegirl fall asleep at the bar. 255 00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:02,052 Some nigga put a blanket over her back, I say, "Oh damn, look at us!" 256 00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:04,098 We tired. [ALL CHUCKLING] 257 00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:08,145 We sleepy, It was only 9:30 and we weren't making it, It wasn't going well. 258 00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,626 -[ALL LAUGHING] -[CROWD CHEERING] 259 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,628 One of my friends texted me on the way to the bathroom, 260 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,238 like, "Yeah bitch, happy birthday, 261 00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:16,806 "I got tired on the way to the bathroom," you like 262 00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,373 "The fuck?" 263 00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:20,331 -We're a mess. -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 264 00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:22,638 You're a mess, one of my friends get lost in the club 265 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,727 Took him an hour to find us. Said, "I think I'm fucked up. 266 00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:27,425 "I couldn't even see y'all," I was like, oh damn. 267 00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:28,862 -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] -[CHUCKLES] 268 00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:30,994 I knew that was over for us after that. That... 269 00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:34,171 You know it's bad when you come outside looking for your Uber, putting 270 00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:35,433 on your glasses, like "Jose?" 271 00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:37,131 -Jose! -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 272 00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:40,003 He look at you, like, "This old bitch, let me take her home. 273 00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,831 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 274 00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:44,878 It was over. [LAUGHING] 275 00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:47,750 Thirties is the worst. I swear to God, it is. 276 00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,447 During quarantine, 277 00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,972 you know, you realize certain shit, like I realized 278 00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:54,583 during quarantine, I would think like, you know you single, 279 00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:56,890 but you don't feel it until you like, it's just you. 280 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,805 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 281 00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:01,459 And like that, they like, yeah you can't even really date now, so... 282 00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,070 Here you go. [LAUGHS] 283 00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,724 You're like, oh, wow, like... 284 00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,726 In your thirties, you start feeling like, 285 00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:09,816 I'm single. It's me! God damn it, it is my fault... 286 00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:11,687 -It's rough. -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 287 00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:13,733 [CHUCKLES] 288 00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,125 For real though, like... 289 00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:17,780 Seriously, like coming back from a bad date 290 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:20,827 in your thirties is like... Anybody seen Boyz n the Hood? 291 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:23,307 I mean, where Tre came home when his man Ricky died. 292 00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:25,832 That's what you come home on a bad day in your thirties. 293 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:30,575 -[VOCALIZING] -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 294 00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:37,974 You damn near slide down a wall, like "God Jesus, what the fuck..." 295 00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:40,803 -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] -All of a sudden, you hear in the background 296 00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:43,763 ♪ Good times Anytime you separate ♪ 297 00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:45,547 That how it feels. [LAUGHING] 298 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:48,419 It's fucked up, you know, you like, I hate this town. 299 00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:50,726 Stupid. 300 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,903 You immediately realize like the reason why you're single is your fucking fault, like... 301 00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:56,688 And I realized I had daddy issues. 302 00:12:56,732 --> 00:13:00,692 A lot of people think the daddy issues for women is when you just go crazy, 303 00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:03,260 you start sucking dick, and you just be like, I'm mad. 304 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:05,741 -Ahhh! [LAUGHS] -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 305 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,265 Or you just be a porn star or some shit. 306 00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:10,572 No, like, I don't know how it is for everybody, 307 00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:13,401 but for me, daddy issues was like, I'm a next week type of nigga. 308 00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:16,273 You know, Black kids that ain't got daddies, you sitting on the porch, 309 00:13:16,317 --> 00:13:18,406 that nigga be like, next week we gotta be back. 310 00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:19,537 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 311 00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:21,278 Uh huh, let you next week. [LAUGHS] 312 00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:23,454 You get the next week nigga complex. 313 00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:25,543 So, I can't commit to shit, like... 314 00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:27,807 He laughing, cause he knows. [LAUGHING] 315 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:31,811 It's a lot of white faces. They like, our daddies ain't never left us on the porch. 316 00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:32,855 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 317 00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,509 The fuck is that? 318 00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:37,555 Yeah, Black kids know about next week niggin'. 319 00:13:37,599 --> 00:13:39,906 Yeah, I like, and that's the thing, you learn. 320 00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:42,865 I learned that shit in quarantine that I had next week nigga complex. 321 00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:45,999 I was like, I can't commit to shit, because I'm used to being like, 322 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:47,914 I'll do it next weekend, like. 323 00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:51,439 And Black people have like, layaway, so we used to be in like, hmm... 324 00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:53,702 I'll have money next week... [LAUGHS] 325 00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:55,747 We don't commit to nothing. 326 00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:59,534 And I been like, like being single is like God looking at me being like... 327 00:13:59,577 --> 00:14:01,188 "Uh, I gave you so many tries, bitch." 328 00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:02,406 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 329 00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:04,582 I don't know. 330 00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:06,802 But it's like, and then, like at a certain point, being single in your thirties 331 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,456 too, like, I feel like it's karma. 332 00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:10,240 Like God is definitely fuckin' with me like 333 00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,721 when you're on a date now past 35, that's karma. 334 00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:14,766 You not really gonna find nobody. 335 00:14:14,810 --> 00:14:18,596 You just swiping past every motherfucker that's going to fuck up your life. 336 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,077 -Ain't nobody gonna be good. -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 337 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:22,905 It's like being on Wheel of Fortune. 338 00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:24,689 Just... [VOCALIZING] 339 00:14:26,561 --> 00:14:29,520 "Come on down, Darnell In between things!" 340 00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:30,826 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 341 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,176 Every nigga is in between things in your life. 342 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,700 I talk to my mom about how dating sucks. 343 00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:38,573 And she says, you gotta pray about it, you just gotta be patient and pray. 344 00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:41,881 I'm like, look, you want me to pray to God about no shit like this. 345 00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:45,058 'Cause if I pray to God about this shit, I'm like, all right, dear God... 346 00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:47,799 Oh God, I'll beat your ass... 347 00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:50,846 If you own God, like that's serious. 348 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:54,937 But you be mad, like, catch me outside, God, if you send me a motherfucking fuckboy again. 349 00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:58,941 Man... [LAUGHING] 350 00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:02,771 Oh man, but it's true though, I feel like my mom was always like, pray about it. 351 00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:04,773 She's always like, you know, 352 00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:07,950 take your time, it's going to get there, I'm like, you don't understand. 353 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,821 Like "take your time?" like, 354 00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:12,563 I'm taking my time, they keep sent me the wrong nigga every time! 355 00:15:12,607 --> 00:15:14,304 Ahh... Like you be mad. 356 00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,741 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 357 00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:20,354 God going to be like, if you use my name in vain again, another fuckboy, bitch! Like what do... 358 00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,399 -Oh, my God. -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 359 00:15:22,443 --> 00:15:24,532 Oh my God. 360 00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:26,751 Like, I hate my mom say that because I be like, He don't want to hear from me. 361 00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:28,492 Not right now. He don't, no. 362 00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:31,321 'Cause I'm like, "Catch me outside, God. What you trying to do?" 363 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,845 -Like, um, like... [LAUGHING] -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 364 00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:36,979 Imagine, if you could really get with God, like if you could like, "Yo, 365 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,851 "yeah, nigga." 366 00:15:39,895 --> 00:15:41,723 -So, yeah, I don't know... -[MAN LAUGHING] 367 00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:43,681 What the fuck you thought was last Saturday, 368 00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:46,293 but with the fuck nigga? I've been out here praying, like you... 369 00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:48,730 This what you doing? Like. 370 00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:52,168 That's how I feel about that shit. when my mom say that, it's like bitch. 371 00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:55,215 But she's always, like, you know, you gotta date older. 372 00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:58,087 So I date older, you know, like you get somebody mature. 373 00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,655 Fuck you mean? Like... 374 00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:02,874 Uh, that's why you know your mom. Oh, you know, like first of all, 375 00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:04,920 Young niggas can still be molded, 376 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,400 it's just like rescue dogs 377 00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:07,836 when you dating older, like, 378 00:16:07,879 --> 00:16:09,707 nobody goes to the kennel and be like, 379 00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:12,319 -"Let me get the oldest dog you got." -[AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 380 00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:15,365 That's the way. Like, nobody says that shit. 381 00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:17,324 When you date younger, it's still a chance. 382 00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:19,979 It's still a chance for him to like be something different. 383 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,155 Like, you catch him older, that's it, bitch. 384 00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:24,026 That's him, like... 385 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,680 Ain't no changing him. I feel like 386 00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:28,030 I always attract fuckboys. 387 00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:30,380 So, I'm gonna get a senile fuckboy. 388 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:34,428 Like he gonna see-- He don't have a good eye but he's gonna see the hoes out the good one. 389 00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:37,039 He can't hear me but he can hear the hoes, like. 390 00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:39,041 That breath he wake up with, it's struggle. 391 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:40,608 It smell like ol' 392 00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:43,350 struggle breath, it's exactly what it is. 393 00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:45,569 You not gonna get no more than what the nigga is. 394 00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:48,050 Old niggas are like dating Weekend At Bernie's. 395 00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:51,445 He tired. You better get with him between four and 10 pm. 396 00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:53,708 Or he is knocked the fuck out. 397 00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:56,711 You gotta carry him around the whole relationship. Take pictures in different places. 398 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:58,234 [AUDIENCE LAUGHING] 399 00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:00,062 Say, "Who wants this?" 400 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:03,761 This is a-- I mean, he respectful. He can definitely fix the tire. 401 00:17:03,805 --> 00:17:05,676 He gonna say, "Mm, mm, mm, mm" 402 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,026 at everything you do, but... 403 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:10,768 He gonna sleep through the rest of it. 404 00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:12,248 It's not what you need. 405 00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:13,858 No. 406 00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:15,382 Like, why are you doing this to me? 407 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:20,517 I want a relationship bad though. I feel like I do, 408 00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,128 and I'm at that age now though, 409 00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:23,825 I'm at that age where I'm, 410 00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:26,262 I've been out enough, I've done all this shit, I'm ready to just 411 00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:28,221 come home and like watch a movie and like 412 00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:30,484 fart and shit and be like happy. 413 00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:34,140 After a while, you be like I wanna be me, nigga, fuck it, what you wanna do? 414 00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:35,663 And I want that. I was telling 415 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:38,361 my mom about that, and she said you got to be patient 416 00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:40,276 and whatever 'cause my grandparents 417 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,757 were together for 51 years. 418 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,628 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 419 00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:47,892 Fifty-one years. So, I know what it's like to be part of a relationship 420 00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:49,155 you hear what I'm saying? 421 00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:51,896 Fifty-one years, you can't stand this nigga. 422 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:54,812 Okay, like, 51 years. I want that kind of hate. 423 00:17:54,856 --> 00:17:58,425 Like, I want that kind of hate where we'll be like, "Fuck you!" and we still there. 424 00:17:58,468 --> 00:18:00,470 Like, 51 years is like, uh, 425 00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:02,951 they have to build another house 426 00:18:02,994 --> 00:18:04,387 in my grandparents... like, 427 00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:07,086 my grandfather used to hang out in the back porch. 428 00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,175 My grandmother had that built 'cause she was like 429 00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:12,003 if we gonna stay together I've gotta have another house to let this nigga in. 430 00:18:12,047 --> 00:18:14,702 But every time he was back there as kids we knew that, 431 00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:17,922 yeah, this nigga was fucking up. But I want that kind of love. 432 00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:21,578 Like, I want that love where it's just like we hate the fuck out of each other 433 00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:24,190 but we still doing this. Like, you ain't given up. 434 00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:26,496 Like, we don't do that now. Don't anybody do that now. 435 00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:30,979 Like, everybody will be like, "You know what, that nigga eating too fast. It's over." 436 00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:33,503 Smacking and shit, I'm not gonna be able to deal. 437 00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:36,550 Like, my grandmother did 51 years of one ni-- 438 00:18:36,593 --> 00:18:39,683 Can you ima-- I mean, I get sick of niggas in two weeks. 439 00:18:39,727 --> 00:18:41,511 Fifty-one years, I just know, 440 00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:43,731 I know she probably had a knife over his head, 441 00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:45,298 a lot of knives and just 442 00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,126 prayed over it and stopped. 443 00:18:48,039 --> 00:18:49,911 I want that kind of love. 444 00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:53,480 But I was thinking to myself, like, how can I get that kind of love, 445 00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:56,657 because it's like when my grandfather told me how he, 446 00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:59,138 like, persuaded my grandmother to be with him, 447 00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,357 I was like, "Man, I can never have that now." 448 00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:05,579 Like, he was like, "Yo, when I saw your grandmother, man, I like, met her every day. 449 00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:08,190 "Every day outside of her job 450 00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:11,498 "I came and was like, yo, you beautiful, let me get you flowers." 451 00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:13,239 Every day, he was like, I came out everyday. 452 00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:15,197 She kept passing me by and I was like, "I love you, 453 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,417 like you beautiful, like I wanna be with you." 454 00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,680 I'm thinking like, if a motherfucker did that now, 455 00:19:19,723 --> 00:19:22,030 I would call the fucking police! 456 00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:24,946 Are you kidding me? Like, if a motherfucker met you every day 457 00:19:24,989 --> 00:19:30,430 outside your job with flowers, like, "You beautiful." you like, um, 911 this nigga's crazy. 458 00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:33,781 It's simple. Like, you do that now, you be walking down the street somebody, 459 00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:35,826 "Hey beautiful, smile." Nigga fuck you! 460 00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,654 You don't know me. 461 00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:40,309 Like, we... Women ain't set up like that no more. 462 00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:42,181 We ain't set up for flowers and 463 00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,183 following us down the street. Now you, like, 464 00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:45,880 "911, what's your emergency?" 465 00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:48,274 "This nigga said I'm beautiful. 466 00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:51,538 "I'm so scared, he got flowers." They like, "Do they have a weapon?" 467 00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,670 "Yes, they have stems, it's crazy." 468 00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:57,979 Like, I'd never would get that. That's crazy. 469 00:19:58,022 --> 00:20:00,286 Can you imagine that shit? I couldn't even, like, 470 00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:01,504 I was thinking like, 471 00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:03,419 there's no way in hell 472 00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:06,596 that the way that men treated women back in the day, could happen now. 473 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,382 Like, women think everything is fucking crazy, don't we? 474 00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:12,167 Yeah, you be in the store. He'll be like, "Hey beautiful." 475 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,951 Oh, my God! 476 00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:16,258 Wow. Like, sir, back up, like, 477 00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:19,348 you don't need to tell me that. Like, we hate everything, don't we? 478 00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:22,873 I couldn't imagine walking to work everyday having the same dude meeting me like, 479 00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:24,571 "Hey, beautiful." Oh, my gosh, sir. 480 00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,355 The restraining order is real, like... 481 00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,445 You gotta get out of here. 482 00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,621 Ain't no ways you gonna find a husband that way. 483 00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:34,624 Oh, my God. 484 00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:36,322 But, I mean, being 485 00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:39,238 in quarantine alone too, you just like, you faced with yourself. 486 00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:42,328 And sometimes you gotta look at yourself and I know most of us 487 00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:44,504 was like in the beginning you're like 488 00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:47,289 "I think I hate myself, what the fuck?" 489 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,509 Now getting to know yourself is hard. 490 00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:53,382 Like once you do, you're looking at the mirror like, "Man, if this bitch don't leave. 491 00:20:53,426 --> 00:20:56,864 I'm so sick of her mouth." I had a point in quarantine where I was like, 492 00:20:56,907 --> 00:20:58,909 "You know what, I'm sick of me. 493 00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:02,348 I'm not really fucking with her. I need her to go. She's dumb." 494 00:21:02,391 --> 00:21:04,393 After a while you're like, "Wow, you're lame." 495 00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:08,441 Like, I was... I hated on myself real hard for like a couple of months. 496 00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:12,314 For a few months I was like, "Oh, wow, you extra...I see why the nigga left." 497 00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:16,231 [SIGHS] 498 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,407 I mean that's the only way to get better though, right? They say... 499 00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:20,322 [CHUCKLES] 500 00:21:20,888 --> 00:21:22,106 Oh, man. 501 00:21:23,064 --> 00:21:24,805 I talked to my mother a lot. 502 00:21:24,848 --> 00:21:27,242 I'm one of those girls that talk to my mom all the time, like, 503 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,765 dudes always think it's weird. 504 00:21:28,809 --> 00:21:30,506 Like a lot of men 505 00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:32,552 are always like, "Yo, you talk to your mother all the time." 506 00:21:32,595 --> 00:21:35,032 And I'm like, "Yeah, I'm a mommas... I'm a mom's girl." 507 00:21:35,076 --> 00:21:37,905 You know my moth-- that's my homie. We talk about shit. 508 00:21:37,948 --> 00:21:39,559 But like I said, 509 00:21:39,602 --> 00:21:41,822 through quarantine I've been getting to know myself and like 510 00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:44,520 and talking to my mother has really made me feel like 511 00:21:44,564 --> 00:21:46,305 I'm moving too fast. 512 00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:48,829 When you talk to older people, I dunno if you realize this shit, 513 00:21:48,872 --> 00:21:51,745 they tell you every fucking detail of their day. 514 00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:57,272 That shit had you been like, I'm doing too much, when I talk to my mother 515 00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,753 she's like, "Well, I 516 00:21:59,796 --> 00:22:03,713 "woke up this morning and I had a cup of coffee and I looked out the window and saw three birds. 517 00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:06,586 "I looked at the birds, the birds were chirping they looked at me. 518 00:22:06,629 --> 00:22:10,807 "I went in the kitchen and my side started hurting and I said, 'Ow, my side was hurting.' 519 00:22:10,851 --> 00:22:12,896 "I grabbed some Tylenol, I took some Tylenol. 520 00:22:12,940 --> 00:22:15,334 "After I took the Tylenol I had a cup of cheese. 521 00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,684 "Some cheese was in my hand, I spoke to your aunty. 522 00:22:17,727 --> 00:22:20,556 "She said, 'Do you want to go to Walmart?' I said, 'Yeah.' 523 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,732 "After that the cat meowed, I petted the cat. 524 00:22:22,776 --> 00:22:25,039 "I went in the room and said, 'I need a nap.'" 525 00:22:25,082 --> 00:22:29,522 You like, "God damn, she looking at the world clearer than a motherfucker." Like, 526 00:22:29,565 --> 00:22:32,394 I ain't never been that detailed in my life. 527 00:22:32,438 --> 00:22:35,049 I was like, "If I painted my shit it would look different." 528 00:22:35,092 --> 00:22:39,227 I'd be like, "Well, I woke up in the morning, I smoked a blunt and was depressed. 529 00:22:39,270 --> 00:22:41,969 "I looked out the window and I was still single and there was no birds 530 00:22:42,012 --> 00:22:44,972 "because the homeless people scared 'em away. 531 00:22:45,015 --> 00:22:47,844 "After that I checked my bank account it was still negative 23, 532 00:22:47,888 --> 00:22:51,282 "I don't know what my finances is looking like and you know, 533 00:22:51,326 --> 00:22:53,720 "Darnell was too old and he doesn't remember I'm there." 534 00:22:53,763 --> 00:22:57,724 Like, damn, like you don't even, like, you like, "Shit, I need to look at life different, right?" 535 00:22:57,767 --> 00:23:02,859 Ridiculous but my mom is so cute how she like looks at life, like every fucking detail. 536 00:23:02,903 --> 00:23:04,252 It made me slow down. 537 00:23:04,295 --> 00:23:06,559 I realized 538 00:23:06,602 --> 00:23:10,824 that in L.A. being single, you're like, "Fuck it, I could just get a dog and be happy." 539 00:23:10,867 --> 00:23:13,696 Like out here you don't really need people, you don't need humans. 540 00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:15,742 Like, everywhere you go, like, out in L.A. 541 00:23:15,785 --> 00:23:19,528 I notice, like I said in quarantine you are very observant. 542 00:23:19,572 --> 00:23:21,661 I feel like there ain't no kids in L.A. 543 00:23:21,704 --> 00:23:25,142 Everybody just get married and be like, "We got a rescue." Like, nobody, 544 00:23:25,186 --> 00:23:26,709 nobody fucks with kids out here. 545 00:23:26,753 --> 00:23:28,711 All my friends are in Chicago, they're like 546 00:23:28,755 --> 00:23:32,106 "We're getting married, we having a kid." Nobody's having kids here in L.A. 547 00:23:32,149 --> 00:23:35,675 They're just getting dogs. And it's funny to me 'cause I want a dog 548 00:23:35,718 --> 00:23:39,983 but I can't really understand why I do 'cause where I grew up. 549 00:23:40,027 --> 00:23:42,290 I grew up in the south of Chicago and dogs to us-- 550 00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:44,858 Black people and dogs ain't like how y'all do 'em out here. 551 00:23:44,901 --> 00:23:46,903 Black people and dogs. Like, to us, from-- 552 00:23:46,947 --> 00:23:49,471 It's funny to me. 'Cause now, when I see a dog, I'm like, 553 00:23:49,515 --> 00:23:50,646 "Hey, buddy, 554 00:23:50,690 --> 00:23:52,648 "wow. 555 00:23:52,692 --> 00:23:55,172 Oh, my God, is it a rescue?" And people are like, "Yeah, we just got it." 556 00:23:55,216 --> 00:23:57,566 But, like, the way I grew up, when you see dogs 557 00:23:57,610 --> 00:23:59,960 we'll be like, "Oh, shit." We just 558 00:24:00,003 --> 00:24:02,353 run and try to find the closest 559 00:24:02,397 --> 00:24:04,051 car to jump on. 560 00:24:04,094 --> 00:24:06,183 So, I know I'm fucked up from living here. 561 00:24:07,663 --> 00:24:09,622 It's weird, 'cause like now, like, I see dogs 562 00:24:09,665 --> 00:24:13,016 at the park all the time and I'm not scared. But in my old life, we just, 563 00:24:13,060 --> 00:24:18,587 soon as you see-- like it don't even matter it could be a poodle used to be everybody just run. 564 00:24:18,631 --> 00:24:20,937 It's funny, like, when I was growing up, like, dogs 565 00:24:20,981 --> 00:24:23,200 for Black people, like you would go to their house 566 00:24:23,244 --> 00:24:24,724 and if they had a dog 567 00:24:24,767 --> 00:24:27,204 they would say, "Hold on, let me put my dog in a room." 568 00:24:28,858 --> 00:24:31,948 No one has a regular dog just running around the crib. 569 00:24:31,992 --> 00:24:33,689 You gotta put that nigga up, 570 00:24:34,603 --> 00:24:35,909 around your friends. 571 00:24:38,346 --> 00:24:40,000 And we were like growing up, 572 00:24:40,043 --> 00:24:42,524 it was funny, it was me, my brother and my younger cousin. 573 00:24:42,568 --> 00:24:44,570 We was in the back yard doing regular kid shit, 574 00:24:44,613 --> 00:24:46,136 playing ball, right? 575 00:24:46,180 --> 00:24:48,008 It was my cousin's dog. 576 00:24:48,051 --> 00:24:49,879 We playing the ball and shit. 577 00:24:49,923 --> 00:24:51,577 Kicking the ball, everybody happy. 578 00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:53,361 All of a sudden, the ball go by the dog. 579 00:24:55,058 --> 00:24:56,669 Granted, this this nigga dog, 580 00:24:56,712 --> 00:24:58,845 it's his family dog. But, everybody like, 581 00:24:58,888 --> 00:25:01,325 "Man, I'm not getting no God damn ball. 582 00:25:01,369 --> 00:25:03,197 "I'm not gonna get it." 583 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,982 The dog looked at us like, "Y'all don't want this motherfucking ball?" 584 00:25:06,026 --> 00:25:09,072 He looked at us like... "What y'all trying to do, son? 585 00:25:09,116 --> 00:25:10,726 Y'all trying to get this ball? 586 00:25:12,728 --> 00:25:14,817 We looked at each other like, "Uh..." 587 00:25:14,861 --> 00:25:17,080 Like my cousin was like, "If I jump off the fence, 588 00:25:17,124 --> 00:25:18,821 "land on the motherfucking tire, 589 00:25:18,865 --> 00:25:20,997 "get over by the ball, we good." 590 00:25:21,041 --> 00:25:25,306 I was like, "I dunno, dawg, that seems dangerous like a motherfucker. You crazy." 591 00:25:25,349 --> 00:25:27,438 We did this shit for 20 minutes together, 592 00:25:27,482 --> 00:25:29,571 Finally, 593 00:25:29,615 --> 00:25:32,095 my cousin ran over there, grabbed the ball. His own dog jumped up and was like, 594 00:25:32,139 --> 00:25:35,272 [BARKS] ate up this whole nigga armpit, we was like, "Oh, shit! 595 00:25:35,316 --> 00:25:38,319 Nigga, run! Go!" 596 00:25:38,362 --> 00:25:41,191 That was the end of that. The game was over. 597 00:25:41,235 --> 00:25:43,629 Funny thing is Black parents will beat yo ass for that. 598 00:25:43,672 --> 00:25:46,022 We got whoopings for that. We went in the house and they was 599 00:25:46,066 --> 00:25:49,460 like, "Why y'all outside getting bit?" 600 00:25:49,504 --> 00:25:52,855 Black moms be like, "That's what's your problem, you're always doing too much." 601 00:25:53,682 --> 00:25:54,988 My God. 602 00:25:56,772 --> 00:25:59,906 It was also a tough year for white women. Damn! 603 00:25:59,949 --> 00:26:03,605 Somebody got to say it, I'm gonna say it for you guys. Shit! 604 00:26:03,649 --> 00:26:06,521 2020 wasn't the year for white women, huh? 605 00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:10,307 God damn! I ain't never seen this much sadness in y'all. Like, I know 606 00:26:10,351 --> 00:26:13,528 they got Black girl magic I wanted to start a campaign for y'all. 607 00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:15,878 I dunno what to call it, but I want to give out hugs. 608 00:26:15,922 --> 00:26:18,446 'Cause they started a whole goddamn page called, 609 00:26:18,489 --> 00:26:21,667 "Karens Gone Wild." How the fuck? 610 00:26:21,710 --> 00:26:24,974 I was like, "How? Like, how the fuck is there this many angry white bitches 611 00:26:25,018 --> 00:26:27,324 "that didn't know they was angry?" 612 00:26:27,368 --> 00:26:30,414 'Cause that's what it looks like. I went to college with a lot of white girls. 613 00:26:30,458 --> 00:26:34,114 You know how women have to have a pap smear every year? 614 00:26:34,157 --> 00:26:36,290 I thought we should come up with the Karen smear. 615 00:26:37,552 --> 00:26:40,468 Check you bitches out, make sure you good. 616 00:26:40,511 --> 00:26:45,560 'Cause I feel like this shit's getting out of hand. It's getting crazy. 617 00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:48,128 I knew it was nuts when it was like... First of all 618 00:26:48,171 --> 00:26:49,564 when the first Karen came out 619 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,174 it was when they were like, "Oh," 620 00:26:51,218 --> 00:26:52,828 they were mad. 621 00:26:52,872 --> 00:26:55,657 This woman was mad that there was a Black guy birdwatching. 622 00:26:55,701 --> 00:26:59,748 First off, I was like, "I'm mad too. What the fuck is this Black man doing 623 00:26:59,792 --> 00:27:03,056 "birdwatching in a forest preserve? It don't add up. Nothing about it adds up." 624 00:27:03,099 --> 00:27:04,666 But she was pissed off. 625 00:27:04,710 --> 00:27:07,930 But I knew she was mad because white women love their dogs. 626 00:27:07,974 --> 00:27:10,541 I ain't never seen anybody be like, "I'm gonna tell them 627 00:27:10,585 --> 00:27:13,109 "that you're African American choking the fuck out of our dog. 628 00:27:13,153 --> 00:27:16,243 The dog was like, "Cool, bitch. Tell 'em whatever you want. Just let me go." 629 00:27:16,286 --> 00:27:17,984 I was like, "Wow. 630 00:27:18,027 --> 00:27:19,942 "She lost her shit, right?" 631 00:27:19,986 --> 00:27:23,424 Sounds like if we do a Karen smear, I feel like you gotta start checking 632 00:27:23,467 --> 00:27:26,949 white bitches who they fucked up like, I'm sorry Stephanie, we found a couple 633 00:27:26,993 --> 00:27:28,821 of Karen in your blood, we gotta run some tests. 634 00:27:29,822 --> 00:27:31,650 She's like, "Oh, my God. What?" 635 00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:33,477 And you have to take a few tests. You know, you have to take a little 636 00:27:33,521 --> 00:27:35,305 like a Black people multiple choice. 637 00:27:37,090 --> 00:27:39,092 If you're in a forest preserve and there's someone 638 00:27:39,135 --> 00:27:41,790 looking at a bird, what would you do? 639 00:27:41,834 --> 00:27:44,140 Would you mind your business and just leave? 640 00:27:44,184 --> 00:27:47,013 Would you go to your car? Or would you choke the shit out of your dog 641 00:27:47,056 --> 00:27:48,536 and call the police? 642 00:27:48,579 --> 00:27:51,365 If she says that, it's like, "Bitch." 643 00:27:51,408 --> 00:27:54,237 They should have it on her resume. She couldn't get a job, like... 644 00:27:54,281 --> 00:27:57,501 "Oh, looks like you have a couple of Karen situations going on. 645 00:27:57,545 --> 00:27:59,242 "We ain't gonna be able to hire your Black ass." 646 00:28:01,070 --> 00:28:04,204 And white people turn protests into festivals. 647 00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:06,336 It was Coachella 2020, like every-- 648 00:28:06,380 --> 00:28:10,123 They have food trucks and shit. I said, "They know how to protest, nigga." 649 00:28:10,166 --> 00:28:13,822 We've been doing this shit for years and it never looked like this. 650 00:28:13,866 --> 00:28:16,956 You see the old pictures from back in the day, we was getting bit by dogs. 651 00:28:16,999 --> 00:28:19,349 Niggas was posing like, "Ah!" 652 00:28:19,393 --> 00:28:21,700 It looked bad. 653 00:28:21,743 --> 00:28:24,877 The new pictures for the 2020 are gonna look good as hell. Ain't that? We gonna be hugging, 654 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,358 with mask on. Niggas gonna be... have a taco in their hand I was like, 655 00:28:28,402 --> 00:28:30,621 "Protest 2020 looks amazing." 656 00:28:32,319 --> 00:28:34,190 History looking good this year, ain't it? 657 00:28:34,234 --> 00:28:35,539 Yo fro going to be out there. 658 00:28:35,583 --> 00:28:37,150 They gonna be like, "Damn, that bitch was bad. 659 00:28:37,193 --> 00:28:39,587 You gonna be in Fashion 2020 Vogueprotest now. 660 00:28:40,631 --> 00:28:42,764 It's... 661 00:28:42,808 --> 00:28:45,985 I feel like every protest I went to, they had like a... We did the Electric Slide. 662 00:28:47,421 --> 00:28:51,599 I ain't never felt so good after being so sad. 663 00:28:51,642 --> 00:28:56,299 I said thanks to the whites, this shit looks amazing. 664 00:28:56,343 --> 00:28:59,738 Now after being, I feel like, you know quarantine. Like, seeing our president 665 00:28:59,781 --> 00:29:02,088 and taking the time to see ourselves, it's just like, 666 00:29:02,131 --> 00:29:04,917 what? Like, you see everything, right? 667 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,354 And the sad part of it is that everybody hate Trump. 668 00:29:07,397 --> 00:29:09,486 Everybody hate what's going on, but at the end of the day 669 00:29:09,530 --> 00:29:12,838 we all gotta see where we're coming from. Like, the perspective of shit. 670 00:29:12,881 --> 00:29:14,753 And everything has to go dark, 671 00:29:14,796 --> 00:29:16,232 in order for it to get light, 672 00:29:16,276 --> 00:29:17,799 at the end of the day, right? 673 00:29:17,843 --> 00:29:19,801 'Cause I had to get arrested to get better, 674 00:29:19,845 --> 00:29:21,977 I had to realize I was an old bitch drunk 675 00:29:22,021 --> 00:29:23,283 to get better. 676 00:29:23,326 --> 00:29:24,632 But we gotta realize 677 00:29:24,675 --> 00:29:26,242 that you had to get a shitty president 678 00:29:26,286 --> 00:29:29,071 to realize the shit is fucked up. 679 00:29:29,115 --> 00:29:32,292 And that's the only way it's gonna get better. 680 00:29:32,335 --> 00:29:36,078 So, to me I feel like this year was really just us trying to clean up the shit 681 00:29:36,122 --> 00:29:38,689 that was already going down, right? 682 00:29:38,733 --> 00:29:40,430 We can only get better together, right? 683 00:29:40,474 --> 00:29:42,868 All right, y'all. Thank you so much. Good night! 684 00:29:42,911 --> 00:29:44,913 You guys have been amazing. 685 00:29:44,957 --> 00:29:48,090 Thank you so much, I appreciate everybody coming, man. 686 00:29:48,134 --> 00:29:49,178 This has been... 687 00:29:50,049 --> 00:29:51,441 I can't... 688 00:29:52,094 --> 00:29:53,139 Yeah! 689 00:29:54,401 --> 00:29:55,532 Whoo! 690 00:30:03,453 --> 00:30:05,368 Hey! Fatimah! 691 00:30:06,152 --> 00:30:07,893 Congratulations, girl! 692 00:30:07,936 --> 00:30:10,504 Yeah, hear you shooting your half hour, baby. 693 00:30:13,420 --> 00:30:15,944 Hey, making sure you eat something before you do the show, baby. 694 00:30:15,988 --> 00:30:17,250 You looking a little thin. 695 00:30:18,251 --> 00:30:19,252 I'm just kidding. 696 00:30:19,730 --> 00:30:21,471 [LAUGHS] 697 00:30:21,515 --> 00:30:22,690 Shit. 698 00:30:22,733 --> 00:30:24,387 Time to get that girl some canned goods. 699 00:30:25,693 --> 00:30:26,825 She look broke. 700 00:30:28,957 --> 00:30:31,699 Hey, we out here, baby. All day.