1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:15,208 --> 00:00:18,000 ‎NETFLIX 出品 4 00:00:22,041 --> 00:00:24,041 ‎節日真他媽的煩 5 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,458 ‎聖誕快樂 6 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:43,916 ‎妳穿這樣吃聖誕大餐? 7 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,000 ‎連件洋裝都沒有嗎? 8 00:00:46,083 --> 00:00:47,666 ‎我很好,老媽,謝啦 9 00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:49,500 ‎房子裝飾得真漂亮 10 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,666 ‎妳的蘇珊阿姨 ‎把賣場的聖誕老人帶回家了 11 00:00:53,416 --> 00:00:55,541 ‎還有妳外甥剛在馬槽便便了 12 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,375 ‎才大一點點 13 00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:59,416 ‎何況他還先把耶穌寶寶移開 14 00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:00,750 ‎-妳好 ‎-妳好 15 00:01:01,125 --> 00:01:02,125 ‎聖誕快樂 16 00:01:02,208 --> 00:01:03,375 ‎要來片精靈薑餅嗎? 17 00:01:04,666 --> 00:01:05,541 ‎-真怪 ‎-聽我說 18 00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:08,083 ‎羅德尼說妳沒打給他 19 00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:10,750 ‎不好意思,我沒辦法跟職業小丑約會 20 00:01:10,833 --> 00:01:11,666 ‎我會睡不著 21 00:01:11,750 --> 00:01:14,916 ‎真是的,絲隆 ‎都六個月了,妳要重新出發 22 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,666 ‎她整天穿睡衣坐在家裡 23 00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:19,166 ‎怎麼可能認識新對象? 24 00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:20,958 ‎這叫遠距工作,媽 25 00:01:21,041 --> 00:01:24,250 ‎只要我達標 ‎老闆不會管我穿什麼上班 26 00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:27,875 ‎他倒是有要求我 ‎別在上班時間跟我媽視訊 27 00:01:27,958 --> 00:01:29,916 ‎妳不會還在抽煙吧? 28 00:01:30,375 --> 00:01:32,416 ‎沒有,媽,我沒抽煙了 29 00:01:32,833 --> 00:01:34,458 ‎是我剛搭的優步司機抽的 30 00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:37,000 ‎我知道過年過節壓力很大 31 00:01:37,083 --> 00:01:39,750 ‎但是沒人想娶抽煙… 32 00:01:41,791 --> 00:01:42,791 ‎又說謊的女生 33 00:01:44,750 --> 00:01:47,208 ‎也沒人想要囉唆的岳母 34 00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:49,041 ‎看來這是三振出局了 35 00:01:52,750 --> 00:01:55,125 ‎看到我姊孤伶伶出現 ‎就知道要過節了 36 00:01:55,208 --> 00:01:57,458 ‎-別火上加油,她還很難過 ‎-別鬧了 37 00:01:57,541 --> 00:01:58,750 ‎我才沒有難過 38 00:01:58,833 --> 00:02:00,541 ‎是嗎?妳一臉難過的樣子 39 00:02:01,666 --> 00:02:02,666 ‎我沒有難過 40 00:02:02,750 --> 00:02:06,291 ‎搞定,馬槽消毒好了 41 00:02:07,416 --> 00:02:08,250 ‎絲隆 42 00:02:09,291 --> 00:02:10,458 ‎妳沒打給羅德尼? 43 00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:14,541 ‎他很棒吧? 44 00:02:15,125 --> 00:02:16,541 ‎我在賣場認識的 45 00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:20,000 ‎在賣場認識的男性 ‎優秀到讓妳不敢相信 46 00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:23,000 ‎我大概遇不到吧 47 00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:23,916 ‎別緊張 48 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,333 ‎又不是要嫁給他 49 00:02:26,958 --> 00:02:28,333 ‎他只是我的節日情人 50 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:29,958 ‎“節日情人”? 51 00:02:30,041 --> 00:02:32,291 ‎專門過節用的情人 52 00:02:32,625 --> 00:02:33,458 ‎不用許下承諾 53 00:02:34,708 --> 00:02:36,416 ‎要我問他有沒有朋友嗎? 54 00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:42,166 ‎(洛根廣場) 55 00:02:42,250 --> 00:02:43,875 ‎(芝加哥) 56 00:02:43,958 --> 00:02:44,916 ‎(艾凡斯頓) 57 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,125 ‎別緊張,他們會愛死你的 58 00:02:49,208 --> 00:02:51,958 ‎妳父母知道這是我們第三次約會吧? 59 00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:53,583 ‎這真的沒什麼大不了 60 00:02:53,666 --> 00:02:55,583 ‎他們大概不曉得你會過來 61 00:02:55,666 --> 00:02:58,958 ‎-你們好,聖誕快樂 ‎-聖誕快樂 62 00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:03,125 ‎想必你就是傑克森 63 00:03:03,541 --> 00:03:05,875 ‎你本人比照片還帥 64 00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:08,375 ‎照片? 65 00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:13,625 ‎這是她第一次坐在聖誕老人腿上 66 00:03:13,708 --> 00:03:16,458 ‎結果她尿在聖誕老人的腿上 67 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:21,625 ‎第一次芭蕾獨舞表演,再來是… 68 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,333 ‎這是她初次來潮的那一天 69 00:03:26,125 --> 00:03:27,125 ‎真有意思 70 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,333 ‎還有這個… 71 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:32,916 ‎是小小艾凡斯頓小姐選拔 72 00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:38,291 ‎先跟你說 73 00:03:40,083 --> 00:03:42,750 ‎我跟卡莉的父親完全不在意 74 00:03:42,833 --> 00:03:44,916 ‎你倆同睡一間房 75 00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:47,916 ‎不了,沒關係 76 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,625 ‎我不會留下來過夜 77 00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:51,333 ‎胡說八道 78 00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:53,125 ‎我們把你當家人看 79 00:04:01,625 --> 00:04:02,625 ‎靠,哪有? 80 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,291 ‎-絲隆 ‎-怎樣? 81 00:04:11,375 --> 00:04:13,666 ‎成熟一點,桌子可以加長 82 00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:16,208 ‎不了,我想坐單身桌 83 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,416 ‎小鬼頭,來看禮物吧 84 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,166 ‎快點,走吧 85 00:04:22,041 --> 00:04:22,875 ‎所以… 86 00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:26,500 ‎絲隆阿姨,妳幹嘛不打給羅德尼? 87 00:04:27,041 --> 00:04:29,041 ‎那妳怎麼不打給羅德尼? 88 00:04:29,125 --> 00:04:30,916 ‎因為我有男友了 89 00:04:31,291 --> 00:04:32,458 ‎他叫李維 90 00:04:32,541 --> 00:04:35,666 ‎他每天下課都會分我喝果汁 91 00:04:36,833 --> 00:04:38,250 ‎這樣很好,黛西 92 00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:40,208 ‎趁感情甜蜜時好好享受 93 00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:42,791 ‎因為總有一天妳一走出去 94 00:04:42,875 --> 00:04:45,416 ‎會發現李維把果汁分給 95 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,583 ‎在星巴克上班,名叫“彩虹”的咖啡師 96 00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:50,000 ‎對,這樣的日子不好過,黛西 97 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:51,500 ‎讓人心痛 98 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:52,625 ‎但會讓妳更堅強 99 00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:54,750 ‎接下來妳會發現 100 00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:56,083 ‎自己快要年過30 101 00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:59,083 ‎坐在兒童桌,喝烈酒來麻醉傷痛 102 00:05:00,666 --> 00:05:02,541 ‎讚啦,我爸媽超愛你 103 00:05:02,625 --> 00:05:04,583 ‎妳有毛病嗎?妳跟他們說… 104 00:05:04,666 --> 00:05:07,208 ‎-妳跟妳爸媽說我們在一起 ‎-少來了 105 00:05:07,958 --> 00:05:09,500 ‎你也知道自己喜歡我 106 00:05:09,583 --> 00:05:11,250 ‎要是對我沒有意思 107 00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:13,833 ‎怎麼會在重大節日來我家 108 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:16,958 ‎聲控燈? 109 00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:19,375 ‎我說過我父母人在澳洲 110 00:05:19,458 --> 00:05:20,791 ‎又沒有其他… 111 00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:23,833 ‎計畫 112 00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:30,500 ‎原來… 113 00:05:31,375 --> 00:05:32,708 ‎-是睡衣 ‎-是的 114 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:37,166 ‎我覺得這套可愛又舒服 ‎適合在閨蜜之夜穿… 115 00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:42,083 ‎原來… 116 00:05:43,791 --> 00:05:46,000 ‎-是褲子 ‎-是卡其褲 117 00:05:46,916 --> 00:05:49,083 ‎高爾夫球選手都喜歡卡其褲吧? 118 00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:51,958 ‎我不曉得尺寸,反正我買了三號 ‎你可以拿去換 119 00:05:52,708 --> 00:05:53,625 ‎褲子… 120 00:05:54,125 --> 00:05:55,333 ‎還有計畫 121 00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:57,208 ‎謝啦 122 00:06:05,166 --> 00:06:06,916 ‎對不起,我真的… 123 00:06:07,833 --> 00:06:09,666 ‎沒想到我們要交換禮物 124 00:06:10,375 --> 00:06:11,666 ‎你怎麼會有這種想法? 125 00:06:13,625 --> 00:06:16,083 ‎因為妳說我們沒有要交換禮物 126 00:06:19,791 --> 00:06:22,875 ‎原來你跟我熟到可以射在我嘴裡 127 00:06:22,958 --> 00:06:25,583 ‎可是卻沒有熟到可以送我聖誕禮物? 128 00:06:28,708 --> 00:06:30,875 ‎我可以給妳現金,我身上有… 129 00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:33,583 ‎我有多少錢?40元? 130 00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:35,166 ‎40元? 131 00:06:36,375 --> 00:06:37,750 ‎你把我當妓女? 132 00:06:38,583 --> 00:06:40,000 ‎不是,天啊,我沒有 133 00:06:40,083 --> 00:06:41,625 ‎絕對不是,妳這… 134 00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:43,416 ‎80塊錢才行 135 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,333 ‎我才不要給妳80塊錢 136 00:06:47,833 --> 00:06:50,291 ‎但我們做過愛了,傑克森,兩次 137 00:06:50,375 --> 00:06:54,208 ‎我不敢相信 ‎你居然沒買聖誕節禮物給我 138 00:06:54,291 --> 00:06:55,583 ‎我才不敢相信 139 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:58,500 ‎妳在妳爸媽面前挖洞給我跳 140 00:06:58,583 --> 00:07:01,166 ‎不對,我可以 141 00:07:01,666 --> 00:07:04,208 ‎因為女生都會在過節時發瘋 142 00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:07,500 ‎很美好的夜晚,兩位,晚餐很好吃 ‎祝你們聖誕節快樂 143 00:07:18,166 --> 00:07:19,166 ‎再見 144 00:07:21,625 --> 00:07:23,333 ‎麻煩大家注意我這邊 145 00:07:24,291 --> 00:07:25,875 ‎我有話要說 146 00:07:26,250 --> 00:07:27,500 ‎誰想吃甜點? 147 00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:34,166 ‎伊莉莎白金柏莉陳 148 00:07:35,125 --> 00:07:36,375 ‎靠,不會吧 149 00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:38,833 ‎我知道我們才交往三個月 150 00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:40,333 ‎又六個美好的日子 151 00:07:40,916 --> 00:07:43,250 ‎但我好像認識妳一輩子了 152 00:07:43,875 --> 00:07:46,125 ‎妳是否願意 ‎讓我成為全世界最幸福的男人 153 00:07:46,625 --> 00:07:47,541 ‎嫁給我好嗎? 154 00:07:47,625 --> 00:07:48,583 ‎天啊 155 00:07:49,708 --> 00:07:50,541 ‎我願意 156 00:07:50,625 --> 00:07:51,708 ‎我願意嫁給你 157 00:07:51,791 --> 00:07:54,166 ‎-兩個死會,剩一個 ‎-恭喜 158 00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:56,375 ‎-史上最棒的聖誕節 ‎-太棒了 159 00:07:58,750 --> 00:08:01,500 ‎天啊,這還真是…好極了 160 00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:03,583 ‎我弟要結婚了 161 00:08:06,958 --> 00:08:08,000 ‎我真的… 162 00:08:09,250 --> 00:08:10,875 ‎好愛這套睡衣 163 00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:16,333 ‎-怎麼這麼慢? ‎-太扯了啦 164 00:08:16,416 --> 00:08:19,166 ‎-我排一整天了 ‎-我排了一個半小時 165 00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:21,375 ‎-拜託妳 ‎-抱歉,沒有禮物收據 166 00:08:21,458 --> 00:08:23,500 ‎我只能提供你消費抵用金 167 00:08:23,583 --> 00:08:25,375 ‎我不要消費抵用金 168 00:08:25,791 --> 00:08:28,166 ‎我不想再來這間店 169 00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:31,833 ‎我們有些蠻帥氣的衣物 ‎你有試穿率性緊身牛仔褲嗎? 170 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,333 ‎不好意思 171 00:08:34,666 --> 00:08:35,916 ‎鱷魚先生 172 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,708 ‎我們還有工作 173 00:08:37,791 --> 00:08:39,041 ‎“先省”,這發音才對 174 00:08:39,875 --> 00:08:42,291 ‎等一下,妳從哪看出我沒有工作? 175 00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:45,125 ‎你週三來賣場 176 00:08:45,208 --> 00:08:46,708 ‎退魯蛇才會穿的褲子 177 00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:49,541 ‎這是卡其褲 178 00:08:49,916 --> 00:08:52,125 ‎很多有工作的人都會穿卡其褲 179 00:08:52,583 --> 00:08:55,250 ‎希望有人聽得懂你說話 ‎隨便你怎麼說 180 00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:57,833 ‎妳好,我只要退貨 181 00:08:57,916 --> 00:08:58,750 ‎小姐 182 00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:01,125 ‎-有收據嗎? ‎-我沒拿到收據 183 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,666 ‎有人以為我會一輩子當剩女 184 00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:07,416 ‎然後把自己吃成大肥豬 185 00:09:07,500 --> 00:09:08,750 ‎沒說錯 186 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:13,375 ‎我的聖誕節已經慘到不行 187 00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:16,125 ‎要贊同就去別的地方 188 00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:17,833 ‎我先去問一下 189 00:09:21,208 --> 00:09:24,916 ‎我出40元買你的卡其褲 ‎還有新鮮蝴蝶餅的買一送一券 190 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,666 ‎這條褲子大概有80塊錢吧 191 00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:28,583 ‎妳想得美 192 00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,750 ‎希望這樣有安慰到妳 193 00:09:35,291 --> 00:09:38,291 ‎我穿著醜到不行的聖誕節毛衣 194 00:09:38,791 --> 00:09:42,375 ‎喝無酒精雞尾酒 ‎還跟一群邪教般的人士共處一室 195 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,500 ‎我可以贏過你的醜聖誕毛衣 196 00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:48,125 ‎再加上坐在兒童桌 197 00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:49,958 ‎我弟弟在當天訂婚 198 00:09:50,041 --> 00:09:52,958 ‎還撞見賣場聖誕老人幫我阿姨舔鮑鮑 199 00:09:53,041 --> 00:09:55,625 ‎這…好歡樂的畫面 200 00:09:56,125 --> 00:09:58,125 ‎跟爛刺青一樣烙印在我腦海裡 201 00:09:58,208 --> 00:09:59,541 ‎我也有爛刺青 202 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,208 ‎那是…馬特勞爾嗎? 203 00:10:06,791 --> 00:10:08,916 ‎我以前很愛看《今日秀》 204 00:10:10,083 --> 00:10:12,291 ‎抱歉,這是兩季前的產品 205 00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:15,375 ‎我可以提供妳消費抵用金 206 00:10:15,458 --> 00:10:17,333 ‎以目前的賣價… 207 00:10:18,791 --> 00:10:20,000 ‎4.99元 208 00:10:22,291 --> 00:10:23,458 ‎4.99元? 209 00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:25,666 ‎4塊又99分錢? 210 00:10:26,416 --> 00:10:28,791 ‎我姊生了小孩以後就小氣到不行 211 00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:32,083 ‎把褲管剪掉就會像七分褲一樣可愛 212 00:10:34,458 --> 00:10:35,875 ‎50元通通賣妳 213 00:10:35,958 --> 00:10:38,708 ‎-你幹嘛,說不定會 ‎-妳最好會做七分褲 214 00:10:39,166 --> 00:10:40,250 ‎我手很巧 215 00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,416 ‎好吧 216 00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:42,333 ‎40元 217 00:10:42,791 --> 00:10:43,791 ‎45元 218 00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:45,875 ‎還有蝴蝶餅買一送一券 219 00:10:47,291 --> 00:10:49,291 ‎-你不要吃嗎? ‎-我不吃那種東西 220 00:10:49,375 --> 00:10:51,833 ‎-妳知道吃下去會怎樣嗎? ‎-知道 221 00:10:52,166 --> 00:10:54,333 ‎讓我渾身充滿溫暖美味的幸福感 222 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,166 ‎就像小時候過聖誕節 ‎後來我發現聖誕老人都是謊言 223 00:10:58,250 --> 00:10:59,083 ‎對 224 00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:01,375 ‎我被聖誕節騙到大概10歲 225 00:11:01,458 --> 00:11:04,708 ‎我收到衝浪板跟第一組高爾夫球桿 226 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:07,458 ‎-當時很美好 ‎-我最棒的聖誕節 227 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:10,958 ‎是芭比夢幻屋,先組好的 228 00:11:11,750 --> 00:11:14,416 ‎還有一個叫萊斯特的腹語娃娃 229 00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:16,208 ‎它長得像喜劇演員 230 00:11:18,208 --> 00:11:19,875 ‎我對書呆子有種迷戀 231 00:11:19,958 --> 00:11:22,250 ‎我花了好幾個月學腹語 232 00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:24,291 ‎-快點現場來一段 ‎-不要 233 00:11:24,958 --> 00:11:26,916 ‎不好意思,妳的蝴蝶餅是我請的 234 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,583 ‎妳就是要表演書呆子給我看 235 00:11:29,666 --> 00:11:30,500 ‎快點 236 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,291 ‎快啊 237 00:11:34,541 --> 00:11:35,833 ‎是我做的嗎? 238 00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:39,125 ‎是我做的嗎? 239 00:11:39,208 --> 00:11:40,250 ‎真不賴 240 00:11:40,958 --> 00:11:43,291 ‎-萊斯特後來怎麼了? ‎-每晚陪我睡覺 241 00:11:43,875 --> 00:11:44,958 ‎什麼? 242 00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:47,166 ‎絲隆 243 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,291 ‎真要命 244 00:11:50,375 --> 00:11:52,750 ‎是妳前男友還是怎樣? 245 00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:55,833 ‎不是,那是我阿姨 ‎帶回家過聖誕節的男人 246 00:11:56,833 --> 00:11:58,083 ‎舔鮑鮑的就是他? 247 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,250 ‎叫蘇珊阿姨打給我 248 00:12:00,333 --> 00:12:01,666 ‎他是她的節日情人 249 00:12:02,083 --> 00:12:03,458 ‎等等,節日情人是什麼? 250 00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:06,333 ‎她在賣場找來一起過聖誕節的 251 00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:09,958 ‎慢著,只有聖誕節還是所有節日? 252 00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:11,416 ‎復活節,新年… 253 00:12:11,916 --> 00:12:14,000 ‎她覺得每個節日都一樣重要 254 00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:16,458 ‎我除夕夜需要的就是這個 255 00:12:16,541 --> 00:12:19,125 ‎你可以試試看,不過這麼晚才問 ‎他可能都約滿了 256 00:12:19,208 --> 00:12:21,416 ‎不是,我說真的,我受夠 257 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,125 ‎在假日隨便找人約會 258 00:12:23,208 --> 00:12:25,083 ‎壓力太大了,實在荒謬 259 00:12:25,166 --> 00:12:27,750 ‎總之到最後,我都成了渣男 260 00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:31,083 ‎是嗎?當當看 ‎全家族絕無僅有的單身狗 261 00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:32,500 ‎我每次一走進去 262 00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:35,583 ‎就有一堆難過帶有憐憫的眼神望向我 263 00:12:35,666 --> 00:12:38,791 ‎為什麼大家都要懷疑 ‎快樂的單身女子? 264 00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:40,750 ‎因為妳一臉就寫著不快樂 265 00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:42,625 ‎我很快樂 266 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:44,083 ‎不要懷疑 267 00:12:44,708 --> 00:12:45,541 ‎妳才沒有 268 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:49,208 ‎人類在過節時就是不該孤伶伶的 269 00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:51,166 ‎我們很需要 270 00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:52,666 ‎溫暖 271 00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:54,333 ‎陪伴 272 00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:57,750 ‎還要有人借酒裝瘋在派對嘲笑陌生人 273 00:12:58,666 --> 00:13:01,541 ‎我確實很喜歡借酒裝瘋 ‎在派對上嘲笑陌生人 274 00:13:02,125 --> 00:13:05,708 ‎太好了,我們可以在除夕夜 ‎扮演彼此的節日情人 275 00:13:05,916 --> 00:13:07,333 ‎我根本不認識你,所以… 276 00:13:07,416 --> 00:13:09,750 ‎沒錯,好就好在這 277 00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:12,791 ‎因為這樣就不會有壓力 ‎不會抱持期待 278 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:16,000 ‎我是說…我甚至覺得 ‎妳沒那麼有吸引力 279 00:13:17,041 --> 00:13:18,416 ‎你還真會誇獎人 280 00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:21,166 ‎我不是說妳沒有吸引力,只是可能… 281 00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:23,041 ‎對我來說沒這麼有吸引力 282 00:13:24,583 --> 00:13:25,416 ‎再見 283 00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:29,166 ‎先別走,妳剛才說 284 00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:32,208 ‎妳不想再看到難過的眼神 285 00:13:32,291 --> 00:13:34,625 ‎-看起來很可悲 ‎-是“憐憫”,不是“可悲” 286 00:13:34,708 --> 00:13:36,208 ‎意思都一樣 287 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,958 ‎我有《007:空降危機》的派對門票 288 00:13:39,041 --> 00:13:40,250 ‎-真的嗎? ‎-真的 289 00:13:40,333 --> 00:13:41,666 ‎那派對很有趣 290 00:13:42,083 --> 00:13:43,208 ‎那就快點答應我 291 00:13:43,916 --> 00:13:45,291 ‎我只想去那邊 292 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,625 ‎好好放鬆,喝幾杯東西 293 00:13:47,708 --> 00:13:49,416 ‎要是我沒在半夜求婚 294 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:52,500 ‎也不用擔心我的約會對象抓狂 295 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,083 ‎你怎麼確定我不會抓狂? 296 00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:58,125 ‎我看妳表演萊斯特就知道了 297 00:14:00,166 --> 00:14:01,416 ‎對了,我叫傑克森 298 00:14:01,875 --> 00:14:03,000 ‎絲隆 299 00:14:03,083 --> 00:14:04,833 ‎很高興認識妳,絲隆 300 00:14:04,916 --> 00:14:06,625 ‎這是我的聯絡方式 301 00:14:07,583 --> 00:14:08,500 ‎“職業高爾夫球手” 302 00:14:09,541 --> 00:14:10,666 ‎這是你真正的工作? 303 00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,375 ‎妳考慮一下再傳訊息給我 304 00:14:13,916 --> 00:14:15,541 ‎我不會傳訊息給你的,老虎伍茲 305 00:14:16,041 --> 00:14:18,125 ‎-考慮一下 ‎-不會傳訊息給你 306 00:14:18,208 --> 00:14:19,458 ‎傳訊息給我 307 00:14:20,666 --> 00:14:21,958 ‎我快講完了 308 00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:25,708 ‎我們第三季剛好達標,然後… 309 00:14:25,791 --> 00:14:26,625 ‎(媽媽來電) 310 00:14:26,708 --> 00:14:27,625 ‎(接通,掛斷) 311 00:14:28,458 --> 00:14:31,291 ‎我一早就會準備好細節 312 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,083 ‎抱歉,我可以… 313 00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:35,833 ‎等一下回你電話嗎? 314 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:37,166 ‎好 315 00:14:37,958 --> 00:14:39,375 ‎媽,我在工作 316 00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:41,208 ‎妳就穿這樣工作? 317 00:14:41,625 --> 00:14:43,541 ‎好歹也穿件像樣的上衣 318 00:14:44,041 --> 00:14:46,083 ‎親愛的,我要介紹一個人給妳認識 319 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,750 ‎這是我的新鄰居,法魯克 320 00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:52,833 ‎-妳好 ‎-法魯克是醫生 321 00:14:52,916 --> 00:14:53,833 ‎而且單身 322 00:14:54,958 --> 00:14:57,083 ‎她化妝會更漂亮 323 00:14:57,166 --> 00:14:58,333 ‎我現在就有化妝 324 00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:01,958 ‎-法魯克除夕夜有空… ‎-再見,老媽 325 00:15:02,041 --> 00:15:03,666 ‎所以我在想… 326 00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:11,583 ‎(傑克森派瑞提) 327 00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,458 ‎差點被騙,不行 328 00:15:19,541 --> 00:15:21,041 ‎不行,好 329 00:15:21,708 --> 00:15:22,541 ‎不行 330 00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:24,333 ‎可能可以 331 00:15:24,416 --> 00:15:25,416 ‎不行 332 00:15:27,541 --> 00:15:29,291 ‎義大利文的不行怎麼說? 333 00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:30,541 ‎“不行,多謝” 334 00:15:34,125 --> 00:15:35,916 ‎她很棒 335 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,708 ‎而且她有一頭小羊 336 00:15:37,791 --> 00:15:39,833 ‎你上個月不是在業餘巡迴賽睡過她? 337 00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:42,208 ‎不是你嗎? 338 00:15:45,666 --> 00:15:47,958 ‎對,是我 339 00:15:48,041 --> 00:15:49,958 ‎她一定是把羊放在家裡了 340 00:15:50,041 --> 00:15:53,250 ‎-我該打電話給她… ‎-你幹嘛用我的帳號? 341 00:15:53,416 --> 00:15:54,458 ‎我說過了 342 00:15:54,541 --> 00:15:57,708 ‎我有幾個一直放不下執念的前女友 343 00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:00,166 ‎-好嗎? ‎-你知道這些女生的問題點嗎? 344 00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,250 ‎她們的眼神 ‎看起來瘋瘋癲癲的,對吧? 345 00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:03,458 ‎她們是來真的 346 00:16:03,541 --> 00:16:05,500 ‎我…不需要來真的 347 00:16:06,583 --> 00:16:08,750 ‎-我需要的是節日情人 ‎-你剛說什麼情人? 348 00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:12,500 ‎妳好 349 00:16:16,916 --> 00:16:18,750 ‎我好像叫妳傳訊息給我,不是打給我 350 00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:20,750 ‎節日情人是什麼? 351 00:16:20,833 --> 00:16:22,750 ‎是有新的手機應用程式要下載嗎? 352 00:16:23,125 --> 00:16:24,333 ‎應用程式出得太快了吧 353 00:16:31,375 --> 00:16:33,375 ‎應該換皮背心哥了 354 00:16:33,458 --> 00:16:35,375 ‎好,他是選擇權交易員 355 00:16:35,458 --> 00:16:37,458 ‎離婚了,兩個小孩唸西北大學 356 00:16:37,958 --> 00:16:41,541 ‎女方負責裝潢他的新公寓大樓 357 00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:44,625 ‎-有可能成為第三任太太 ‎-很好 358 00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:48,083 ‎白色荷葉邊緞面連身裙 359 00:16:48,166 --> 00:16:49,250 ‎租來的燕尾服 360 00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,500 ‎他整個人大爆汗 361 00:16:51,583 --> 00:16:54,041 ‎他們今晚一定會訂婚 362 00:16:55,791 --> 00:16:56,875 ‎天啊 363 00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:59,666 ‎-你真行 ‎-這是天賦 364 00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:04,916 ‎對了,穿這件洋裝 ‎讓妳的胸部看起來很豐滿 365 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,791 ‎謝了,所以我才買 366 00:17:07,666 --> 00:17:11,166 ‎-我也很喜歡它包覆妳臀部的樣子 ‎-你真細心,還注意到這些 367 00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:12,791 ‎這樣真棒 368 00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:15,000 ‎好極了,我可以暢所欲言 369 00:17:15,083 --> 00:17:17,000 ‎不用擔心妳覺得我好色 370 00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:20,041 ‎我可以穿露一點 ‎不用擔心別人覺得我淫盪 371 00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:21,541 ‎節日情人的優點 372 00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:28,750 ‎好,他是搞不清楚性向的藝術系學生 373 00:17:29,208 --> 00:17:30,458 ‎還是媽寶 374 00:17:30,541 --> 00:17:31,833 ‎她是有錢的寡婦 375 00:17:31,916 --> 00:17:33,541 ‎喜歡玩綑綁遊戲 376 00:17:34,166 --> 00:17:35,166 ‎蘇珊阿姨? 377 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:36,833 ‎絲隆 378 00:17:36,916 --> 00:17:38,666 ‎-妳好 ‎-妳好 379 00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,791 ‎-寶貝 ‎-沒想到 380 00:17:40,875 --> 00:17:43,083 ‎妳穿這件洋裝,胸部看起來真漂亮 381 00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:44,833 ‎我也這麼說 382 00:17:45,375 --> 00:17:46,916 ‎這位是…朗尼 383 00:17:47,958 --> 00:17:48,791 ‎羅伯 384 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:50,416 ‎-妳好 ‎-你好 385 00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:51,916 ‎我們在藝術學院認識的 386 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,625 ‎我在他的人體雕塑課 387 00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,041 ‎擔任全裸模特兒 388 00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:57,875 ‎他幫我做了無懈可擊的陰蒂 389 00:17:58,416 --> 00:18:00,583 ‎就像蝴蝶要展翅高飛 390 00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:03,000 ‎妳非看不可 391 00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,375 ‎不了,謝謝 392 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,833 ‎我很想看 393 00:18:06,291 --> 00:18:07,416 ‎我安排一下 394 00:18:08,333 --> 00:18:10,666 ‎新年快樂,你倆玩得愉快 395 00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:13,375 ‎走吧,小鮮肉 396 00:18:13,916 --> 00:18:15,083 ‎妳姑姑人看起來不錯 397 00:18:16,291 --> 00:18:17,458 ‎我要去拿酒 398 00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:22,791 ‎她的角色才不會做這種事 399 00:18:22,875 --> 00:18:24,125 ‎哪有關係?好玩就好了 400 00:18:25,083 --> 00:18:26,000 ‎這實在很荒唐 401 00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:27,416 ‎不好意思 402 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:29,125 ‎現在沒人會說荒唐 403 00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:31,083 ‎這是我唯一知道 404 00:18:31,166 --> 00:18:34,083 ‎能正確形容 ‎歷史上每一部浪漫喜劇的用語 405 00:18:34,166 --> 00:18:35,750 ‎電影總是有一些藉口 406 00:18:35,833 --> 00:18:37,250 ‎讓男女主角沒辦法在一起 407 00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,833 ‎但是看海報就知道他們會在一起 408 00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:42,041 ‎主角淚流滿面 409 00:18:42,125 --> 00:18:43,750 ‎”我心碎了滿地 410 00:18:43,833 --> 00:18:45,541 ‎雖然你是我的完美對象 411 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,250 ‎但我暫時不想約會” 412 00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:49,458 ‎根本沒有人… 413 00:18:50,541 --> 00:18:51,916 ‎是真的要暫時不約會 414 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,083 ‎我跟你說 415 00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,875 ‎要是雷恩葛斯林悠然現身 416 00:18:54,958 --> 00:18:58,166 ‎抱起我 ‎隨著《熱舞17》的主題曲起舞 417 00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,416 ‎我絕對不會說 418 00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:03,000 ‎“雷恩老弟,時機不對 ‎我暫時不約會” 419 00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:05,916 ‎我會跳上那列車 420 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,625 ‎雷恩葛斯林列車 421 00:19:07,708 --> 00:19:09,500 ‎我也會跳上雷恩葛斯林列車 422 00:19:10,791 --> 00:19:14,041 ‎所以是哪個蠢蛋 ‎讓妳不相信浪漫喜劇? 423 00:19:15,208 --> 00:19:17,583 ‎-我寧可不要提 ‎-已經提了 424 00:19:18,541 --> 00:19:19,750 ‎他叫什麼名字? 425 00:19:19,833 --> 00:19:20,666 ‎比爾? 426 00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:22,166 ‎佛萊德? 427 00:19:22,833 --> 00:19:23,708 ‎卡洛斯? 428 00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:26,000 ‎-璜? ‎-什麼啦 429 00:19:26,083 --> 00:19:27,791 ‎鮑伯?是什麼? 430 00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:30,166 ‎路克 431 00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:32,083 ‎路克? 432 00:19:32,166 --> 00:19:33,291 ‎路克 433 00:19:33,375 --> 00:19:35,125 ‎他聽起來一無是處 434 00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:36,083 ‎不會 435 00:19:36,541 --> 00:19:38,083 ‎他很帥 436 00:19:38,166 --> 00:19:39,416 ‎又聰明 437 00:19:39,791 --> 00:19:40,625 ‎還是法國人 438 00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:44,500 ‎他戴著性感小巧的約翰藍儂眼鏡 439 00:19:45,041 --> 00:19:46,750 ‎會參加三鐵大賽 440 00:19:47,625 --> 00:19:49,000 ‎耐力一等一 441 00:19:49,916 --> 00:19:51,166 ‎後來怎麼了? 442 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,875 ‎沒什麼,我們要的不同 443 00:19:55,458 --> 00:19:57,791 ‎我想要帶人回家過節 444 00:19:57,875 --> 00:19:59,958 ‎他只想傳老二的照片 445 00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:02,500 ‎給幫他做雙倍瑪奇朵的女生 446 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,000 ‎真傷人 447 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,500 ‎這是我不對 448 00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:09,291 ‎他太帥了,根本靠不住 449 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,041 ‎“找醜的交往”,我姊說的 450 00:20:12,833 --> 00:20:13,833 ‎我沒聽她的話 451 00:20:15,958 --> 00:20:17,000 ‎我去尿尿 452 00:20:22,416 --> 00:20:23,250 ‎真要命 453 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,541 ‎我看起來好像被刺了一刀 454 00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:26,666 ‎這只是酒而已 455 00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:30,250 ‎-我不能穿這套洋裝訂婚 ‎-沒事的,沒這麼糟 456 00:20:30,333 --> 00:20:32,875 ‎-對啊,看起來就像一朵花 ‎-對 457 00:20:33,541 --> 00:20:35,166 ‎鮮血染的花 458 00:20:37,291 --> 00:20:38,458 ‎我跟妳換衣服 459 00:20:40,125 --> 00:20:41,750 ‎天啊 460 00:20:42,916 --> 00:20:43,791 ‎我是魔女嘉莉 461 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,583 ‎妳聽好,他很愛妳 462 00:20:46,666 --> 00:20:48,833 ‎知道嗎?他還是會求婚 463 00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:52,458 ‎我這輩子就等著除夕有人跟我求婚 464 00:20:53,125 --> 00:20:54,666 ‎結果現在全毀了 465 00:20:54,916 --> 00:20:56,416 ‎我們乾脆走吧 466 00:20:59,041 --> 00:21:00,000 ‎妳好 467 00:21:00,083 --> 00:21:01,375 ‎天啊 468 00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:04,166 ‎妳好漂亮 469 00:21:13,083 --> 00:21:14,333 ‎別問了 470 00:21:15,458 --> 00:21:16,541 ‎來吧 471 00:21:33,833 --> 00:21:35,541 ‎(新年快樂) 472 00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:00,708 ‎-什麼? ‎-謝謝妳 473 00:22:08,333 --> 00:22:09,791 ‎不是吧 474 00:22:11,083 --> 00:22:13,291 ‎這個世界值得看到妳的美 475 00:22:21,166 --> 00:22:22,833 ‎大家通通退後 476 00:22:31,708 --> 00:22:32,958 ‎快上 477 00:22:44,583 --> 00:22:45,541 ‎-上 ‎-上 478 00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:57,375 ‎該死 479 00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:09,375 ‎露奶了 480 00:23:20,791 --> 00:23:22,583 ‎沒人會把女主角摔在地上 481 00:23:25,333 --> 00:23:26,625 ‎我去上個廁所 482 00:23:31,458 --> 00:23:33,041 ‎大家聽著 483 00:23:33,125 --> 00:23:35,458 ‎準備迎接新年了嗎,芝加哥? 484 00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:38,250 ‎太棒了 485 00:23:38,333 --> 00:23:41,708 ‎好,拉著你的愛人 ‎一起來倒數,寶貝 486 00:23:41,791 --> 00:23:44,791 ‎一起來,九、八… 487 00:23:44,875 --> 00:23:46,333 ‎七、六 488 00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:48,250 ‎五、四 489 00:23:48,333 --> 00:23:49,916 ‎三、二 490 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:50,916 ‎一 491 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:55,125 ‎新年快樂,芝加哥 492 00:24:13,875 --> 00:24:15,083 ‎妳願意嫁給我嗎? 493 00:24:15,166 --> 00:24:17,500 ‎天啊,我願意 494 00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:19,708 ‎我愛你 495 00:24:32,291 --> 00:24:33,250 ‎可惡 496 00:24:33,541 --> 00:24:34,583 ‎抱歉 497 00:24:36,541 --> 00:24:38,291 ‎-新年快樂 ‎-新年快樂 498 00:25:03,708 --> 00:25:05,208 ‎今晚並不糟 499 00:25:05,583 --> 00:25:07,583 ‎我其實玩得很開心 500 00:25:07,666 --> 00:25:08,500 ‎對 501 00:25:08,958 --> 00:25:10,666 ‎不算我這輩子最慘的夜晚 502 00:25:11,708 --> 00:25:13,208 ‎那妳情人節要做什麼? 503 00:25:13,875 --> 00:25:15,666 ‎那是兩個月後的事 504 00:25:15,750 --> 00:25:17,833 ‎我知道,不過要是我現在擬訂計畫 505 00:25:17,916 --> 00:25:20,041 ‎到時候可能就不會做蠢事 506 00:25:20,916 --> 00:25:23,125 ‎嘴真甜,不過兩個月還很久 507 00:25:23,208 --> 00:25:25,708 ‎這期間可能會有很多變數 508 00:25:26,333 --> 00:25:27,166 ‎也是 509 00:25:28,375 --> 00:25:31,000 ‎要是沒有,我跟一間糖果店長期有約 510 00:25:31,083 --> 00:25:32,458 ‎所以不用約 511 00:25:34,583 --> 00:25:35,416 ‎好 512 00:25:35,583 --> 00:25:36,416 ‎那好 513 00:25:37,125 --> 00:25:38,250 ‎晚安囉 514 00:25:38,833 --> 00:25:39,666 ‎新年快樂 515 00:25:40,458 --> 00:25:41,416 ‎新年快樂 516 00:25:49,166 --> 00:25:52,416 ‎(《情人節單身沒什麼大不了》) 517 00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:55,500 ‎什麼叫妳情人節沒有對象? 518 00:25:55,583 --> 00:25:57,958 ‎別一副好像我宣布了罹癌噩耗一樣 519 00:25:58,750 --> 00:26:00,000 ‎但那是情人節 520 00:26:00,083 --> 00:26:02,166 ‎不是,那就是星期四 521 00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:04,875 ‎我要泡很久的熱水澡 522 00:26:05,250 --> 00:26:06,666 ‎開一罐葡萄酒 523 00:26:06,750 --> 00:26:09,791 ‎放縱自己吃點巧克力,誰曉得 524 00:26:09,875 --> 00:26:11,583 ‎說不定會看個色情片 525 00:26:11,666 --> 00:26:14,291 ‎不能在情人節看色情片 526 00:26:14,375 --> 00:26:17,208 ‎情人節就是要看色情片 527 00:26:17,625 --> 00:26:20,791 ‎那個帥醫生叫什麼名字?法魯克? 528 00:26:21,208 --> 00:26:22,291 ‎妳應該打給他 529 00:26:22,375 --> 00:26:23,416 ‎省省吧 530 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:26,250 ‎我不跟我媽安排的對象約會 531 00:26:26,333 --> 00:26:28,916 ‎賣場那個男的呢? ‎你們除夕夜玩得很開心 532 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,791 ‎對,但就那一次 533 00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:32,625 ‎我吸引不了他 534 00:26:32,958 --> 00:26:34,208 ‎-他說的? ‎-對 535 00:26:34,875 --> 00:26:35,750 ‎噁心 536 00:26:36,083 --> 00:26:37,500 ‎那他吸引妳嗎? 537 00:26:37,958 --> 00:26:38,958 ‎沒有 538 00:26:39,041 --> 00:26:40,500 ‎他連英文都說不好 539 00:26:40,583 --> 00:26:42,541 ‎你們應該聽聽他說“卡其”這個字 540 00:26:42,625 --> 00:26:44,083 ‎他都會拉長音 541 00:26:47,541 --> 00:26:49,666 ‎聽好了,我很高興自己單身 542 00:26:49,750 --> 00:26:51,750 ‎想做什麼就做什麼 543 00:26:51,833 --> 00:26:56,916 ‎不會有除毛、拔毛、熱蠟除毛的壓力 544 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,083 ‎結婚最大的優點 ‎就是可以揮別熱蠟除毛 545 00:26:59,541 --> 00:27:02,458 ‎婚禮呢?參加婚禮總不能一個人去吧 546 00:27:02,541 --> 00:27:04,541 ‎婚禮還有八個月 547 00:27:04,625 --> 00:27:06,583 ‎妳已經自我放棄了 548 00:27:07,541 --> 00:27:09,708 ‎大家管好自己就行了 549 00:27:09,791 --> 00:27:12,291 ‎我的愛情生活和個人衛生 550 00:27:12,375 --> 00:27:14,000 ‎完全都在掌控之中 551 00:27:14,083 --> 00:27:15,333 ‎現在先失陪了 552 00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,791 ‎我有一大堆糖果要買 553 00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:22,416 ‎我賭羅德尼還單身 554 00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:24,166 ‎-天啊,拜託傳訊息給他 ‎-好 555 00:27:33,375 --> 00:27:34,291 ‎絲隆 556 00:27:36,500 --> 00:27:37,333 ‎路克 557 00:27:39,625 --> 00:27:40,875 ‎天啊 558 00:27:40,958 --> 00:27:42,000 ‎你好嗎? 559 00:27:43,250 --> 00:27:44,083 ‎這是… 560 00:27:44,583 --> 00:27:45,916 ‎寶貝,吃吃看 561 00:27:48,458 --> 00:27:50,791 ‎-味道好奇妙 ‎-對 562 00:27:50,875 --> 00:27:53,458 ‎我的舌頭正在享受極度高潮 563 00:27:55,875 --> 00:27:57,625 ‎這有其他口味嗎? 564 00:27:58,208 --> 00:27:59,875 ‎我不是店員 565 00:27:59,958 --> 00:28:03,041 ‎抱歉,我以為妳在補貨之類的 566 00:28:04,500 --> 00:28:05,375 ‎不是 567 00:28:05,791 --> 00:28:07,166 ‎-我沒有 ‎-不是的… 568 00:28:07,625 --> 00:28:09,000 ‎親愛的,這位是絲隆 569 00:28:09,416 --> 00:28:11,958 ‎我們交往過幾個月 570 00:28:12,875 --> 00:28:15,708 ‎妳真好運 571 00:28:15,791 --> 00:28:17,583 ‎他的床上功夫很好吧? 572 00:28:17,666 --> 00:28:21,041 ‎他就像金槍不倒的魔鬼終結者 ‎只是一直爽翻天的是我 573 00:28:23,041 --> 00:28:23,958 ‎小可愛 574 00:28:24,041 --> 00:28:27,750 ‎我們不是約在連鎖店 ‎要試用按摩器嗎? 575 00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:29,166 ‎你們好,我是傑克森 576 00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:32,500 ‎我是絲隆現任的鮮肉玩物 577 00:28:32,583 --> 00:28:34,750 ‎我很想說服她跟我穩定交往 578 00:28:34,833 --> 00:28:37,583 ‎但是她個性堅強又獨立 579 00:28:38,041 --> 00:28:40,916 ‎-別鬧了啦 ‎-希望有好結果 580 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:41,958 ‎我是路克,這位是… 581 00:28:43,041 --> 00:28:44,166 ‎費莉西蒂 582 00:28:44,625 --> 00:28:45,458 ‎好高 583 00:28:45,750 --> 00:28:48,250 ‎你倆真是天作之合 584 00:28:48,333 --> 00:28:49,791 ‎-對 ‎-我是說… 585 00:28:49,875 --> 00:28:50,708 ‎還用說 586 00:28:50,791 --> 00:28:52,166 ‎謝謝 587 00:28:54,666 --> 00:28:55,833 ‎說完了嗎,寶貝? 588 00:28:55,916 --> 00:28:59,750 ‎因為我幫妳在性感內衣店 589 00:28:59,833 --> 00:29:02,416 ‎安排了盛大的計畫 590 00:29:04,083 --> 00:29:05,916 ‎-要走了嗎?東西要拿 ‎-好 591 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,333 ‎-好 ‎-好極了,好 592 00:29:07,416 --> 00:29:09,625 ‎很高興認識你們,真的,祝你們幸福 593 00:29:09,708 --> 00:29:11,500 ‎-謝謝,再見,費莉西亞 ‎-很高興見面 594 00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:12,791 ‎是費莉西蒂 595 00:29:13,125 --> 00:29:15,291 ‎-我要吐了 ‎-深呼吸 596 00:29:18,083 --> 00:29:19,583 ‎衛生紙給妳 597 00:29:21,291 --> 00:29:22,250 ‎這給妳喝 598 00:29:25,541 --> 00:29:27,125 ‎這下我肯定要吐了 599 00:29:27,416 --> 00:29:29,750 ‎這是青汁,對身體好 600 00:29:30,083 --> 00:29:33,541 ‎人體可以大約活120年 601 00:29:33,625 --> 00:29:35,083 ‎只要妳好好照顧就行了 602 00:29:35,166 --> 00:29:36,541 ‎誰管那麼多? 603 00:29:36,625 --> 00:29:38,375 ‎反正40歲之後都會走下坡 604 00:29:38,458 --> 00:29:40,625 ‎誰想要苟延殘喘再活80年? 605 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,125 ‎如果生命裡有費莉西蒂這種女人… 606 00:29:45,500 --> 00:29:47,125 ‎抱歉,我嘴賤 607 00:29:47,958 --> 00:29:51,375 ‎為什麼下一任女友都更年輕貌美? 608 00:29:51,458 --> 00:29:53,375 ‎難道有什麼不成文的規定? 609 00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:56,333 ‎一般來說,更年輕貌美的女孩 610 00:29:56,416 --> 00:29:58,458 ‎比較不看重承諾,所以… 611 00:29:59,125 --> 00:30:01,000 ‎某方面來說,這其實是對妳的讚美 612 00:30:03,041 --> 00:30:04,250 ‎等等,就是這原因 613 00:30:04,541 --> 00:30:07,458 ‎他很害怕,跟費莉西蒂交往 ‎等於是他在求救 614 00:30:08,166 --> 00:30:09,208 ‎妳喝醉了喔? 615 00:30:09,708 --> 00:30:10,958 ‎可能有一點 616 00:30:11,041 --> 00:30:13,500 ‎這些酒香松露巧克力 ‎酒精濃度比我想的還高 617 00:30:15,166 --> 00:30:16,041 ‎我拿了這籃 618 00:30:16,458 --> 00:30:17,458 ‎沒付錢就跑了 619 00:30:17,541 --> 00:30:19,458 ‎好,我不要回去,那… 620 00:30:19,875 --> 00:30:21,708 ‎乾脆消滅證據好了 621 00:30:23,208 --> 00:30:25,791 ‎不了,我不吃垃圾食物 ‎我可是職業運動員 622 00:30:26,958 --> 00:30:28,166 ‎有沒有搞錯? 623 00:30:28,458 --> 00:30:30,833 ‎高爾夫是地球上最不像運動的運動 624 00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:34,333 ‎我告訴妳,打高爾夫需要 ‎比較精準地控制肌肉 625 00:30:34,416 --> 00:30:36,125 ‎以及手眼協調 626 00:30:36,208 --> 00:30:38,500 ‎相較於足球加籃球而言 627 00:30:38,958 --> 00:30:39,875 ‎或許吧 628 00:30:39,958 --> 00:30:43,291 ‎但是詹皇可不需要一台小車 ‎載著他在球場跑 629 00:30:44,791 --> 00:30:46,875 ‎快點,別這樣婆婆媽媽的 630 00:30:46,958 --> 00:30:48,750 ‎女生說婆婆媽媽很奇怪 631 00:30:49,208 --> 00:30:51,791 ‎原來你真的很婆婆媽媽 632 00:30:52,291 --> 00:30:54,375 ‎如果我沒有這麼婆婆媽媽 633 00:30:54,458 --> 00:30:56,208 ‎妳現在還被困在糖果店 634 00:30:56,291 --> 00:30:59,458 ‎跟前男友 ‎還有他美到冒泡的新女友說話 635 00:31:00,125 --> 00:31:02,541 ‎所以妳是該感謝我 636 00:31:05,750 --> 00:31:06,708 ‎你說得對 637 00:31:07,083 --> 00:31:07,916 ‎謝謝 638 00:31:10,458 --> 00:31:11,291 ‎我欠你一次人情 639 00:31:11,375 --> 00:31:12,458 ‎這樣好多了 640 00:31:13,458 --> 00:31:16,875 ‎要幫我打手槍就去停車場吧,謝謝 641 00:31:17,291 --> 00:31:19,541 ‎打手槍啊 642 00:31:20,791 --> 00:31:21,958 ‎你以為自己12歲嗎? 643 00:31:22,125 --> 00:31:23,500 ‎妳12歲就幫別人打手槍? 644 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,125 ‎我早熟 645 00:31:26,333 --> 00:31:27,625 ‎天啊,真棒 646 00:31:27,708 --> 00:31:29,541 ‎夠嗎,還是要再來? 647 00:31:29,625 --> 00:31:30,458 ‎再來 648 00:31:30,541 --> 00:31:33,375 ‎-別亂動,我快好了 ‎-這巧克力真棒 649 00:31:33,458 --> 00:31:35,125 ‎天啊,妳沒開玩笑 650 00:31:35,208 --> 00:31:36,750 ‎-等一下 ‎-可惡 651 00:31:37,083 --> 00:31:39,750 ‎-可惡,沾得我褲子都是 ‎-你有濕紙巾嗎? 652 00:31:40,291 --> 00:31:42,458 ‎有,置物箱的尿布旁邊 653 00:31:42,541 --> 00:31:44,625 ‎天啊,妳真會帶壞人 654 00:31:44,708 --> 00:31:45,666 ‎我才沒有 655 00:31:47,083 --> 00:31:49,333 ‎-要來根煙嗎? ‎-妳會抽煙? 656 00:31:50,750 --> 00:31:51,833 ‎不會 657 00:31:51,916 --> 00:31:53,958 ‎騙你的啦,偶爾會抽 658 00:31:54,541 --> 00:31:56,458 ‎抽點煙又不會死 659 00:31:56,875 --> 00:31:57,833 ‎絕對會 660 00:31:59,583 --> 00:32:02,791 ‎我知道,穿著睡衣在情人節 661 00:32:02,875 --> 00:32:05,458 ‎逛糖果店時碰到男友讓人心煩意亂 662 00:32:05,541 --> 00:32:07,958 ‎是前男友,而且這才不是睡衣 663 00:32:08,041 --> 00:32:09,458 ‎這是休閒褲 664 00:32:11,375 --> 00:32:14,250 ‎信不信由你 ‎我這輩子還有更慘的情人節 665 00:32:15,041 --> 00:32:16,583 ‎幹嘛不打給我? 666 00:32:16,958 --> 00:32:18,041 ‎我不曉得 667 00:32:18,125 --> 00:32:20,166 ‎我可能不好意思承認 668 00:32:20,250 --> 00:32:22,375 ‎新年之後什麼都沒變 669 00:32:22,458 --> 00:32:24,583 ‎節日情人的重點不就在這 670 00:32:24,666 --> 00:32:28,125 ‎我們可以避開愚蠢的壓力 ‎及世人的目光? 671 00:32:28,458 --> 00:32:30,250 ‎至少重要的節日都過了 672 00:32:30,666 --> 00:32:33,041 ‎我是說聖誕節、新年、情人節 673 00:32:33,125 --> 00:32:35,666 ‎對,但是小節日一樣風險很高 674 00:32:35,750 --> 00:32:37,166 ‎我有一次在地球日 675 00:32:37,250 --> 00:32:39,666 ‎跟綠色和平組織的女生 ‎一起被綁在樹上 676 00:32:40,083 --> 00:32:42,125 ‎那是我這輩子最難熬的10天 677 00:32:44,875 --> 00:32:47,250 ‎在復活節能帶對象回家應該不錯 678 00:32:47,958 --> 00:32:49,333 ‎那就來真的 679 00:32:49,416 --> 00:32:51,125 ‎當節日情人,除非另有通知? 680 00:32:52,041 --> 00:32:52,958 ‎那床事呢? 681 00:32:53,041 --> 00:32:54,708 ‎萊斯特會加入嗎? 682 00:32:54,791 --> 00:32:57,333 ‎我是說真的,炮友這種事不會長久 683 00:32:57,416 --> 00:32:59,875 ‎不過那是因為妳們女生會變得黏人 684 00:32:59,958 --> 00:33:01,291 ‎永遠都不滿足 685 00:33:01,750 --> 00:33:03,208 ‎-我們? ‎-對啊 686 00:33:03,291 --> 00:33:04,416 ‎這不是妳的錯 687 00:33:04,500 --> 00:33:07,583 ‎女人天生就會依附及繁衍後代 688 00:33:07,666 --> 00:33:09,833 ‎男人天生只會落荒而逃 689 00:33:09,916 --> 00:33:11,458 ‎好,那就講好了 690 00:33:11,791 --> 00:33:13,791 ‎從現在開始成為不上床的節日情人 691 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:19,833 ‎我要… 692 00:33:20,416 --> 00:33:21,458 ‎椰子脆片 693 00:33:30,625 --> 00:33:32,250 ‎-乾杯 ‎-乾杯 694 00:33:37,041 --> 00:33:39,416 ‎我喝不下了,對不起 695 00:33:39,500 --> 00:33:41,000 ‎我可以 696 00:33:41,083 --> 00:33:42,708 ‎好,這才像話 697 00:33:46,291 --> 00:33:48,000 ‎-羅伊 ‎-羅伊 698 00:33:53,916 --> 00:33:54,833 ‎約克? 699 00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:57,041 ‎靠,不是吧 700 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,583 ‎老兄,搞什麼? 701 00:33:59,666 --> 00:34:01,291 ‎-你好嗎,兄弟? ‎-你好 702 00:34:01,375 --> 00:34:03,291 ‎等等,你們彼此認識? 703 00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:05,208 ‎等等,你們彼此認識? 704 00:34:05,708 --> 00:34:07,291 ‎對,這就是我弟 705 00:34:07,375 --> 00:34:10,250 ‎傑克已經教了我一年多的高爾夫球 706 00:34:10,333 --> 00:34:11,208 ‎你會打高爾夫? 707 00:34:11,291 --> 00:34:12,666 ‎妳認識我之後才開始的 708 00:34:13,875 --> 00:34:16,208 ‎好,傑克森,這位是我的未婚妻莉莎 709 00:34:16,291 --> 00:34:17,916 ‎-你好 ‎-還是叫莉莎吧? 710 00:34:18,375 --> 00:34:20,208 ‎-這是我姊艾比 ‎-你好 711 00:34:20,291 --> 00:34:22,166 ‎-還有她隱形的老公,彼得 ‎-你好 712 00:34:22,250 --> 00:34:24,000 ‎-彼得呢? ‎-幸會 713 00:34:24,083 --> 00:34:27,416 ‎他還是不放心把小孩交給保姆 ‎我一直安撫他 714 00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:29,291 ‎兩歲的小孩會報警了 715 00:34:30,458 --> 00:34:31,458 ‎我開玩笑的 716 00:34:32,625 --> 00:34:34,708 ‎但六歲小孩一定可以 717 00:34:34,791 --> 00:34:36,916 ‎別管我姊,她生了四個小孩 718 00:34:37,916 --> 00:34:39,875 ‎天啊,我生了四個小孩,真嚇人 719 00:34:39,958 --> 00:34:41,583 ‎妳聽起來需要來杯酒 720 00:34:41,666 --> 00:34:43,750 ‎-很多杯才夠 ‎-需要兩個人去拿 721 00:34:43,833 --> 00:34:45,291 ‎也給我一杯 722 00:34:48,375 --> 00:34:49,958 ‎他就是賣場那個男的? 723 00:34:50,041 --> 00:34:51,250 ‎-對 ‎-他好帥 724 00:34:51,333 --> 00:34:53,125 ‎-真的嗎? ‎-你們談好什麼條件? 725 00:34:53,208 --> 00:34:55,333 ‎是炮友的關係? 726 00:34:55,416 --> 00:34:56,541 ‎沒有打炮 727 00:34:56,625 --> 00:34:58,000 ‎我們連朋友都不算 728 00:34:58,083 --> 00:35:00,208 ‎我們從不講話,只過節 729 00:35:00,291 --> 00:35:01,500 ‎那有什麼意義? 730 00:35:02,208 --> 00:35:05,041 ‎意義是有人陪我一起來 731 00:35:05,125 --> 00:35:06,416 ‎我玩得很開心 732 00:35:06,875 --> 00:35:08,791 ‎妳不用在吧台旁推銷我 733 00:35:08,875 --> 00:35:11,458 ‎把我的電話號碼硬塞給每一個男人 734 00:35:11,541 --> 00:35:12,833 ‎說到這個 735 00:35:13,625 --> 00:35:14,958 ‎如果妳收到陌生簡訊 736 00:35:15,041 --> 00:35:16,625 ‎-叫李羅伊的 ‎-拜託 737 00:35:16,708 --> 00:35:17,750 ‎他是保鏢 738 00:35:18,291 --> 00:35:19,875 ‎你們知道約克有打高爾夫嗎? 739 00:35:20,791 --> 00:35:21,625 ‎-知道 ‎-知道 740 00:35:43,375 --> 00:35:44,708 ‎為了慶祝復活節 741 00:35:44,791 --> 00:35:46,500 ‎傑克森會首次品嘗 742 00:35:46,583 --> 00:35:49,833 ‎-七號藍色色素 ‎-不要,有人做過實驗 743 00:35:49,916 --> 00:35:52,333 ‎這東西放在太陽下曬十年都不會分解 744 00:35:52,416 --> 00:35:53,583 ‎-真的嗎? ‎-真的 745 00:35:53,666 --> 00:35:55,000 ‎所以這會抗衰老 746 00:35:56,625 --> 00:35:58,375 ‎跳跳復活節快樂,我的小兔崽子 747 00:35:59,291 --> 00:36:00,375 ‎這位是黑蘇斯 748 00:36:00,458 --> 00:36:03,708 ‎-我看得出來你扮什麼 ‎-妳這身裝扮是怎麼回事? 749 00:36:04,333 --> 00:36:05,208 ‎兔寶寶耳朵 750 00:36:05,625 --> 00:36:09,208 ‎這是復活節早午餐 ‎不是做愚蠢打扮的時刻 751 00:36:09,958 --> 00:36:12,041 ‎我跳… 752 00:36:12,125 --> 00:36:14,125 ‎看來還有人不清楚穿著要求 753 00:36:17,041 --> 00:36:18,750 ‎法魯克 754 00:36:19,166 --> 00:36:21,000 ‎好開心你趕到了 755 00:36:21,083 --> 00:36:22,583 ‎謝謝,抱歉我遲到了 756 00:36:22,666 --> 00:36:23,916 ‎我在巡房 757 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,666 ‎兒童癌症病房 758 00:36:26,916 --> 00:36:28,500 ‎我喜歡毛茸茸的男人 759 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:29,875 ‎謝謝 760 00:36:30,250 --> 00:36:32,875 ‎你記得我女兒絲隆嗎? 761 00:36:33,416 --> 00:36:34,458 ‎妳好,當然記得 762 00:36:34,833 --> 00:36:36,333 ‎妳本人更漂亮 763 00:36:36,416 --> 00:36:38,125 ‎謝謝 764 00:36:38,208 --> 00:36:40,583 ‎-我是傑克森,幸會 ‎-你好 765 00:36:40,666 --> 00:36:42,750 ‎-我喜歡你的兔子裝 ‎-抱歉,法魯克 766 00:36:43,291 --> 00:36:45,583 ‎我們不曉得絲隆會帶客人來 767 00:36:45,958 --> 00:36:46,791 ‎是嗎? 768 00:36:46,875 --> 00:36:48,625 ‎因為我明確提到 769 00:36:48,708 --> 00:36:49,958 ‎我會攜伴 770 00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:51,666 ‎妳這人有什麼毛病? 771 00:36:52,791 --> 00:36:53,916 ‎妳才是… 772 00:36:55,833 --> 00:36:57,166 ‎我去跟孩子們打招呼 773 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,083 ‎看到妳幹的好事嗎? 774 00:37:01,166 --> 00:37:04,083 ‎-他現在覺得妳對他沒興趣 ‎-我是沒興趣 775 00:37:04,166 --> 00:37:07,541 ‎真不敢相信妳要在復活節 ‎把我跟兔子…湊成一對 776 00:37:07,625 --> 00:37:09,500 ‎那是因為我在乎妳 777 00:37:09,583 --> 00:37:12,333 ‎我想要妳找個真正有潛力的人 778 00:37:13,375 --> 00:37:16,333 ‎不要像妳阿姨找什麼節日情人 779 00:37:17,916 --> 00:37:19,833 ‎她看起來很開心 780 00:37:22,041 --> 00:37:24,166 ‎-得分 ‎-她會孤伶伶地死去 781 00:37:24,250 --> 00:37:26,250 ‎坐著輪椅還包尿布 782 00:37:26,916 --> 00:37:28,041 ‎妳想要這樣嗎? 783 00:37:29,833 --> 00:37:31,500 ‎我可以請男護士嗎? 784 00:37:35,125 --> 00:37:38,083 ‎黛西,妳跟會分妳果汁的李維 ‎進展如何? 785 00:37:38,458 --> 00:37:39,500 ‎我們分手了 786 00:37:39,833 --> 00:37:41,458 ‎很遺憾聽妳這麼說 787 00:37:41,541 --> 00:37:42,583 ‎沒關係 788 00:37:42,666 --> 00:37:45,041 ‎他還沒準備好談真正的感情 789 00:37:45,125 --> 00:37:47,333 ‎我要能把我放在第一位的人 790 00:37:47,916 --> 00:37:48,750 ‎先走囉 791 00:37:50,875 --> 00:37:51,750 ‎老天 792 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:53,833 ‎她身心真健全 793 00:37:57,458 --> 00:37:58,375 ‎妳知道… 794 00:37:59,041 --> 00:38:00,333 ‎兔子醫生 795 00:38:00,416 --> 00:38:01,458 ‎看起來不錯 796 00:38:02,375 --> 00:38:04,375 ‎-也許妳應該試試 ‎-真的嗎? 797 00:38:04,875 --> 00:38:05,833 ‎頭髮茂密 798 00:38:06,666 --> 00:38:07,500 ‎醫生 799 00:38:08,458 --> 00:38:10,416 ‎顯然對孩子很有一套,這… 800 00:38:11,458 --> 00:38:12,833 ‎是每個女孩的夢想,對吧? 801 00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:14,875 ‎我不曉得 802 00:38:14,958 --> 00:38:15,833 ‎或許吧? 803 00:38:17,083 --> 00:38:18,083 ‎再說,我… 804 00:38:18,750 --> 00:38:20,375 ‎-還沒準備好 ‎-已經多久了? 805 00:38:20,958 --> 00:38:21,958 ‎快要一年? 806 00:38:22,291 --> 00:38:23,250 ‎那又怎樣? 807 00:38:23,333 --> 00:38:26,541 ‎女性面對心碎的方式不同 ‎我們需要時間 808 00:38:26,625 --> 00:38:28,166 ‎你們甩了我們就釋懷了 809 00:38:28,250 --> 00:38:29,916 ‎女人也一樣可以很冷血 810 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:30,833 ‎相信我 811 00:38:30,916 --> 00:38:32,125 ‎我認識很多男性 812 00:38:32,208 --> 00:38:36,083 ‎為了假裝在乎他們的女人而心碎 813 00:38:36,166 --> 00:38:37,916 ‎假裝喜歡男生的朋友 814 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,041 ‎熱愛他的嗜好 815 00:38:40,125 --> 00:38:41,458 ‎好比板球 816 00:38:41,541 --> 00:38:44,041 ‎還有…西洋雙陸棋 817 00:38:44,791 --> 00:38:46,208 ‎甚至更過火的是 818 00:38:46,291 --> 00:38:48,708 ‎在浴室放滿整間女性用品 819 00:38:48,791 --> 00:38:51,000 ‎在最意想不到的地方藏髮夾 820 00:38:51,666 --> 00:38:53,833 ‎或者甚至開始探索 821 00:38:53,916 --> 00:38:57,125 ‎她們從來不曾碰過的 ‎某些特定性愛入口 822 00:38:59,250 --> 00:39:02,000 ‎然後有一天,毫無警訊 823 00:39:02,708 --> 00:39:05,958 ‎廁所被搬空,她還換了電話號碼 824 00:39:06,041 --> 00:39:08,791 ‎從我家溜出去 ‎還偷走我的熱壓吐司機 825 00:39:11,250 --> 00:39:12,583 ‎他媽的熱壓吐司機 826 00:39:14,041 --> 00:39:14,875 ‎這個嘛… 827 00:39:16,083 --> 00:39:17,541 ‎熱壓吐司機很貴 828 00:39:17,625 --> 00:39:18,458 ‎我知道 829 00:39:19,041 --> 00:39:20,250 ‎是我出錢買的 830 00:39:25,125 --> 00:39:26,000 ‎所以… 831 00:39:27,250 --> 00:39:29,541 ‎我們說的是什麼性愛入口? 832 00:39:29,625 --> 00:39:31,333 ‎-真要講? ‎-怎麼了?是你提起的 833 00:39:31,416 --> 00:39:32,666 ‎人家很好奇嘛 834 00:39:33,833 --> 00:39:36,250 ‎我們說的是“走後門”嗎? 835 00:39:38,166 --> 00:39:40,958 ‎-乾 ‎-乾 836 00:39:46,166 --> 00:39:47,833 ‎你還沒回答我“入口”的問題 837 00:39:48,708 --> 00:39:50,333 ‎大概因為這不關妳的事 838 00:39:50,916 --> 00:39:52,250 ‎別賣關子 839 00:39:52,333 --> 00:39:53,833 ‎會用到道具嗎? 840 00:39:53,916 --> 00:39:55,125 ‎變裝? 841 00:39:55,916 --> 00:39:57,000 ‎邀人同行? 842 00:39:57,083 --> 00:39:58,208 ‎別猜了,拜託妳 843 00:39:58,500 --> 00:40:01,375 ‎妳自己沒性生活 844 00:40:01,458 --> 00:40:03,666 ‎不代表妳可以從我這裡偷學幾招 845 00:40:04,208 --> 00:40:05,875 ‎我有性生活 846 00:40:06,333 --> 00:40:07,166 ‎是嗎? 847 00:40:07,583 --> 00:40:08,958 ‎上次上床是什麼時候? 848 00:40:09,583 --> 00:40:10,666 ‎你呢? 849 00:40:11,666 --> 00:40:12,625 ‎星期四 850 00:40:13,041 --> 00:40:14,291 ‎星期四? 851 00:40:14,375 --> 00:40:15,250 ‎跟誰? 852 00:40:16,458 --> 00:40:18,791 ‎聖派翠克節的雞尾酒女侍 853 00:40:19,375 --> 00:40:20,583 ‎你在聖派翠克節 854 00:40:20,666 --> 00:40:21,958 ‎-勾搭上雞尾酒女侍? ‎-對 855 00:40:22,041 --> 00:40:24,375 ‎-你當時跟我在一起 ‎-對,她跳進我叫的車 856 00:40:24,458 --> 00:40:27,541 ‎-乾 ‎-乾 857 00:40:30,458 --> 00:40:34,166 ‎說好的節日情人守則第一條 ‎“不批評”呢? 858 00:40:34,250 --> 00:40:36,208 ‎對,妳說得對,抱歉 859 00:40:36,291 --> 00:40:38,750 ‎妳沒有性生活不關我的事 860 00:40:38,833 --> 00:40:40,666 ‎我只是替妳感到遺憾,如此而已 861 00:40:41,333 --> 00:40:43,458 ‎你替我感到遺憾? 862 00:40:46,875 --> 00:40:48,500 ‎我知道你的意圖 863 00:40:48,583 --> 00:40:49,750 ‎我有什麼意圖? 864 00:40:50,125 --> 00:40:53,625 ‎你想洗我的腦,嚇壞我 ‎最後我們就上床了 865 00:40:53,708 --> 00:40:56,291 ‎-我不想跟妳上床 ‎-我怎麼可能忘得了 866 00:40:56,375 --> 00:40:59,166 ‎-你覺得我沒有吸引力 ‎-我不是這個意思 867 00:41:00,166 --> 00:41:01,041 ‎隨便你 868 00:41:01,625 --> 00:41:03,375 ‎-吃虧的是你 ‎-絕對是 869 00:41:03,791 --> 00:41:06,416 ‎說真的,我的床上功夫人人誇 870 00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:08,708 ‎對,妳很早熟 871 00:41:08,791 --> 00:41:10,166 ‎12歲就會打手槍 872 00:41:10,250 --> 00:41:11,208 ‎族繁不及備載 873 00:41:11,291 --> 00:41:14,791 ‎這不表示我很淫盪之類的 874 00:41:14,875 --> 00:41:17,541 ‎但有些人就是有天賦 875 00:41:18,458 --> 00:41:20,250 ‎我剛好是其中一人 876 00:41:21,500 --> 00:41:22,916 ‎我們大概永遠不會知道真相 877 00:41:23,291 --> 00:41:24,208 ‎大概不會 878 00:41:24,541 --> 00:41:30,791 ‎-乾 ‎-乾 879 00:42:06,083 --> 00:42:06,916 ‎妳好 880 00:42:07,458 --> 00:42:08,416 ‎嗨 881 00:42:10,458 --> 00:42:11,833 ‎妳在地板上 882 00:42:12,291 --> 00:42:13,916 ‎對,我… 883 00:42:15,333 --> 00:42:17,500 ‎記得從沙發上摔下來 884 00:42:17,583 --> 00:42:19,250 ‎後來好像… 885 00:42:19,750 --> 00:42:22,083 ‎要爬上去很費功夫 886 00:42:23,083 --> 00:42:25,166 ‎那我們可能已經… 887 00:42:26,416 --> 00:42:27,375 ‎沒有 888 00:42:27,666 --> 00:42:28,833 ‎我們沒有 889 00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:33,916 ‎妳穿著我的內褲 890 00:42:36,916 --> 00:42:38,833 ‎這又不代表什麼 891 00:42:38,916 --> 00:42:41,625 ‎我可能是晚上內褲滑掉 892 00:42:42,125 --> 00:42:44,833 ‎太冷才穿你的 893 00:42:45,375 --> 00:42:47,458 ‎少來,妳一定可以分辨 894 00:42:47,541 --> 00:42:50,750 ‎-怎樣分辨? ‎-我不曉得,我又沒有陰道 895 00:42:52,708 --> 00:42:55,500 ‎沒有科學跡證 896 00:42:55,750 --> 00:42:57,083 ‎我的腿上沒有乾掉的東西 897 00:42:57,166 --> 00:42:59,625 ‎地上沒有包裝紙 898 00:42:59,708 --> 00:43:01,375 ‎如果這是你想知道的 899 00:43:03,166 --> 00:43:04,458 ‎你分辨不出來嗎? 900 00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:08,208 ‎它看起來有點累,不過… 901 00:43:09,041 --> 00:43:10,958 ‎我覺得它不太滿足 902 00:43:11,041 --> 00:43:12,125 ‎我告訴你 903 00:43:12,208 --> 00:43:13,375 ‎我們沒有做 904 00:43:13,458 --> 00:43:15,541 ‎我們其中一人一定看得出來 905 00:43:16,250 --> 00:43:17,833 ‎很好,就維持這說法吧 906 00:43:18,083 --> 00:43:20,125 ‎好,要咖啡嗎? 907 00:43:20,208 --> 00:43:21,708 ‎-麻煩妳 ‎-要加奶精嗎? 908 00:43:21,791 --> 00:43:23,083 ‎不了,謝謝,黑咖啡就好 909 00:43:23,833 --> 00:43:24,833 ‎好 910 00:43:24,916 --> 00:43:25,791 ‎謝啦 911 00:43:31,958 --> 00:43:35,791 ‎今天是母親節 ‎這次可以不要討論我的私生活嗎? 912 00:43:35,875 --> 00:43:39,750 ‎今天是我的日子,我有權知道 ‎我的獨生女在搞什麼鬼 913 00:43:39,833 --> 00:43:43,666 ‎-妳還有另外兩個小孩 ‎-他們都死會了,我擔心的是妳 914 00:43:43,750 --> 00:43:47,208 ‎我不明白你為什麼要浪費 ‎我女兒的青春 915 00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:49,791 ‎-搞這沒有意義的事 ‎-不會沒有意義 916 00:43:49,875 --> 00:43:51,208 ‎我們是…朋友 917 00:43:51,458 --> 00:43:54,041 ‎她不需要多一個朋友 ‎她需要的是丈夫 918 00:43:54,125 --> 00:43:55,083 ‎伴侶 919 00:43:55,166 --> 00:43:57,833 ‎做化療時依法必須陪在她身邊的人 920 00:43:58,500 --> 00:44:00,458 ‎-什麼化療? ‎-親愛的 921 00:44:00,541 --> 00:44:01,708 ‎別拿自己開玩笑 922 00:44:01,791 --> 00:44:03,291 ‎家族有不良的基因 923 00:44:03,666 --> 00:44:06,916 ‎光頭女生找不到約會對象的 924 00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,750 ‎這妳不用煩惱 925 00:44:08,833 --> 00:44:10,291 ‎絲隆是很棒的女生 926 00:44:10,375 --> 00:44:11,458 ‎就算光頭也是 927 00:44:11,541 --> 00:44:13,416 ‎那你為什麼不跟她上床? 928 00:44:14,125 --> 00:44:15,041 ‎媽 929 00:44:15,125 --> 00:44:15,958 ‎老天 930 00:44:16,041 --> 00:44:18,458 ‎你倆試試看也無妨啊 931 00:44:18,541 --> 00:44:20,583 ‎這就像法式蝸牛 932 00:44:20,916 --> 00:44:22,458 ‎聽起來不吸引人 933 00:44:22,541 --> 00:44:23,750 ‎樣子有點嚇人 934 00:44:23,833 --> 00:44:26,750 ‎但一入口,美味到讓人驚艷 935 00:44:26,833 --> 00:44:28,916 ‎或許節日情人這齣鬧劇 936 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,416 ‎就能開花結果 937 00:44:33,291 --> 00:44:35,041 ‎妳剛剛是把跟我做愛 938 00:44:35,125 --> 00:44:37,458 ‎比喻為吃蝸牛嗎? 939 00:44:38,250 --> 00:44:39,166 ‎其實… 940 00:44:40,166 --> 00:44:41,375 ‎她說得有道理 941 00:44:41,458 --> 00:44:43,291 ‎我也只是說說 942 00:44:43,375 --> 00:44:46,333 ‎我聽說這裡的廁所很不錯 943 00:44:49,750 --> 00:44:50,708 ‎這裡… 944 00:44:51,416 --> 00:44:54,083 ‎這裡用的是不是埃及棉的毛巾? 945 00:44:54,166 --> 00:44:55,083 ‎很好清理 946 00:44:56,375 --> 00:44:58,416 ‎不好意思,請問最近的女廁在哪? 947 00:44:58,500 --> 00:45:00,333 ‎-那邊往左走 ‎-謝謝 948 00:45:02,958 --> 00:45:03,833 ‎要一起去嗎? 949 00:45:03,916 --> 00:45:04,750 ‎那當然 950 00:45:04,833 --> 00:45:06,833 ‎你們還真搞笑 951 00:45:07,208 --> 00:45:08,750 ‎母親節快樂,媽 952 00:45:08,833 --> 00:45:09,958 ‎這是為了妳 953 00:45:13,083 --> 00:45:14,166 ‎我覺得她上鉤了 954 00:45:14,250 --> 00:45:15,250 ‎當然 955 00:45:15,791 --> 00:45:17,458 ‎你們不好笑囉 956 00:45:22,208 --> 00:45:23,500 ‎(國慶日煙火) 957 00:45:23,583 --> 00:45:25,208 ‎這些夠嗎? 958 00:45:25,291 --> 00:45:26,458 ‎總是個開始 959 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:31,291 ‎再見,老公,小心開車 960 00:45:31,375 --> 00:45:33,291 ‎再見,我愛妳,沒問題 961 00:45:33,375 --> 00:45:35,666 ‎-再見,媽 ‎-再見,媽 962 00:45:37,125 --> 00:45:38,750 ‎開始狂歡吧 963 00:45:39,166 --> 00:45:41,416 ‎-副駕駛座是我的 ‎-不是先說先贏 964 00:45:41,833 --> 00:45:42,958 ‎看來就是先說先贏 965 00:45:43,041 --> 00:45:45,208 ‎不要,我不要跟他坐後面 966 00:45:45,291 --> 00:45:46,166 ‎山姆大叔? 967 00:45:46,250 --> 00:45:47,208 ‎他不會怎樣 968 00:45:47,916 --> 00:45:49,750 ‎但我們說好這是閨蜜之旅 969 00:45:49,833 --> 00:45:51,583 ‎他有青光眼,不能開車 970 00:45:52,083 --> 00:45:53,416 ‎莉莎,快點上車 971 00:45:58,583 --> 00:45:59,916 ‎那股味道 972 00:46:00,791 --> 00:46:01,958 ‎那是大麻嗎? 973 00:46:02,416 --> 00:46:03,541 ‎這是醫療用的 974 00:46:03,916 --> 00:46:05,250 ‎治療坐骨神經痛 975 00:46:06,291 --> 00:46:08,041 ‎我超愛大麻,可以給我一口嗎? 976 00:46:08,416 --> 00:46:11,541 ‎我們要去彼得家團聚,尊重人家吧 977 00:46:11,625 --> 00:46:14,041 ‎莉莎,這是妳單身的最後日子 978 00:46:14,125 --> 00:46:15,541 ‎不要那麼拘謹 979 00:46:15,875 --> 00:46:17,041 ‎山姆,給她來一口 980 00:46:17,125 --> 00:46:20,250 ‎我才不要用嘴唇碰那東西 ‎我可是新娘 981 00:46:20,333 --> 00:46:21,583 ‎小小抽一口不會怎樣 982 00:46:21,666 --> 00:46:23,916 ‎老奶奶跟癌症病人都抽大麻,莉莎 983 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,000 ‎對嘛 984 00:46:25,083 --> 00:46:27,166 ‎-為了孩子們抽一口吧 ‎-孩子們 985 00:46:27,958 --> 00:46:28,875 ‎好吧 986 00:46:31,416 --> 00:46:32,500 ‎我什麼感覺都沒有 987 00:46:33,500 --> 00:46:34,958 ‎妳沒吸進去,再試一次 988 00:46:35,375 --> 00:46:36,375 ‎好吧 989 00:46:44,625 --> 00:46:45,625 ‎沒事 990 00:46:45,875 --> 00:46:47,375 ‎還是沒感覺 991 00:46:48,791 --> 00:46:49,708 ‎真可惜 992 00:46:52,166 --> 00:46:53,000 ‎你們大家 993 00:46:53,083 --> 00:46:54,000 ‎住手 994 00:46:59,500 --> 00:47:01,416 ‎-天佑美國 ‎-對 995 00:47:08,458 --> 00:47:11,291 ‎我大概是那種 ‎毒品在身上沒有作用的人 996 00:47:11,833 --> 00:47:13,125 ‎對,妳就是 997 00:47:13,208 --> 00:47:14,791 ‎完全沒起作用 998 00:47:16,625 --> 00:47:17,833 ‎-好了沒? ‎-要丟出去 999 00:47:17,916 --> 00:47:19,541 ‎-等燒到最後 ‎-丟 1000 00:47:23,125 --> 00:47:26,458 ‎-炸東西就是要這樣 ‎-愛死汽油彈的味道 1001 00:47:26,541 --> 00:47:29,000 ‎男人為什麼這麼愛炸東西? 1002 00:47:30,291 --> 00:47:31,791 ‎都跟老二有關 1003 00:47:31,875 --> 00:47:35,791 ‎煙火跟男人的…構造有什麼關係? 1004 00:47:36,208 --> 00:47:38,125 ‎這就跟自慰一樣 1005 00:47:38,208 --> 00:47:41,208 ‎男人畢生追求高潮 1006 00:47:41,291 --> 00:47:44,375 ‎他們不是在上床,就是想著要上床 1007 00:47:44,666 --> 00:47:46,083 ‎或者把東西炸翻天 1008 00:47:46,583 --> 00:47:48,333 ‎這是僅次於性愛更棒的事 1009 00:47:50,125 --> 00:47:52,041 ‎所以他們都在下面 1010 00:47:52,125 --> 00:47:53,500 ‎想著… 1011 00:47:55,125 --> 00:47:55,958 ‎做愛 1012 00:47:57,625 --> 00:48:00,291 ‎-說出來沒關係,莉莎 ‎-我不用說出來 1013 00:48:01,125 --> 00:48:02,291 ‎我覺得要 1014 00:48:02,375 --> 00:48:04,083 ‎別鬧她了 1015 00:48:04,166 --> 00:48:06,750 ‎不行,她都快結婚了 1016 00:48:06,833 --> 00:48:08,666 ‎她要學會表達自己 1017 00:48:08,750 --> 00:48:11,208 ‎不要這麼壓抑自我 1018 00:48:11,708 --> 00:48:13,125 ‎快點,說出來 1019 00:48:13,208 --> 00:48:14,250 ‎做愛 1020 00:48:14,333 --> 00:48:15,375 ‎不要 1021 00:48:16,583 --> 00:48:17,750 ‎快說“做愛” 1022 00:48:18,125 --> 00:48:19,166 ‎不要 1023 00:48:19,916 --> 00:48:20,875 ‎做愛 1024 00:48:20,958 --> 00:48:22,041 ‎不要 1025 00:48:22,458 --> 00:48:23,375 ‎做愛 1026 00:48:24,875 --> 00:48:26,208 ‎做愛 1027 00:48:26,541 --> 00:48:28,250 ‎妳們滿意了嗎? 1028 00:48:31,458 --> 00:48:33,083 ‎幹 1029 00:48:33,166 --> 00:48:34,875 ‎幹他媽的 1030 00:48:35,291 --> 00:48:36,250 ‎各位 1031 00:48:36,875 --> 00:48:39,000 ‎我們有急救箱嗎? 1032 00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:40,666 ‎可能有繃帶吧,怎麼了? 1033 00:48:40,750 --> 00:48:42,083 ‎傑克森他… 1034 00:48:43,166 --> 00:48:45,291 ‎他剛把手指頭炸掉了,一點點 1035 00:48:45,375 --> 00:48:46,666 ‎天啊 1036 00:48:48,875 --> 00:48:51,541 ‎好,大家保持冷靜 1037 00:48:51,625 --> 00:48:53,833 ‎莉莎,去拿冰塊跟夾鍊袋 1038 00:48:54,500 --> 00:48:56,750 ‎約克,去找東西來做止血帶 1039 00:48:57,416 --> 00:48:58,833 ‎有撿到斷指嗎? 1040 00:48:59,833 --> 00:49:01,750 ‎大夥,麻煩動作加快 1041 00:49:01,833 --> 00:49:03,166 ‎我們非找到手指不可 1042 00:49:03,625 --> 00:49:04,541 ‎找到了 1043 00:49:04,625 --> 00:49:05,625 ‎-太好了 ‎-真棒 1044 00:49:05,708 --> 00:49:06,541 ‎讚啦 1045 00:49:07,666 --> 00:49:08,500 ‎眼睛真利 1046 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,125 ‎你確定那是我的? 1047 00:49:12,208 --> 00:49:14,250 ‎他嚇到了,快送他去醫院 1048 00:49:14,333 --> 00:49:16,583 ‎-我帶他去 ‎-不行,你喝醉了,我帶他去 1049 00:49:16,666 --> 00:49:18,166 ‎我們在路上可以去速食店 1050 00:49:18,250 --> 00:49:19,958 ‎-妳很嗨? ‎-沒有,你有嗎? 1051 00:49:20,041 --> 00:49:21,916 ‎好,彼得很清醒,你來載他 1052 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,333 ‎-小孩有我們顧 ‎-好 1053 00:49:24,416 --> 00:49:25,833 ‎你們這些小鬼頭會踩水嗎? 1054 00:49:25,916 --> 00:49:26,916 ‎-會 ‎-會 1055 00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:29,375 ‎我絕對不會把小孩交給這些窩囊廢 1056 00:49:29,458 --> 00:49:30,750 ‎好主意,天啊 1057 00:49:30,833 --> 00:49:32,708 ‎-好 ‎-拜託不要叫我載 1058 00:49:32,791 --> 00:49:35,541 ‎我怕血,妳知道的,我也怕車、怕血 1059 00:49:35,625 --> 00:49:36,791 ‎我知道 1060 00:49:36,875 --> 00:49:38,416 ‎-不要 ‎-妳可以的 1061 00:49:38,500 --> 00:49:40,375 ‎快去,深呼吸 1062 00:49:41,583 --> 00:49:43,041 ‎你不會有事的,兄弟 1063 00:49:44,291 --> 00:49:45,916 ‎這是我他媽的手指 1064 00:49:46,750 --> 00:49:49,000 ‎-我不能失去手指 ‎-絲隆,祝妳順利 1065 00:49:49,083 --> 00:49:51,666 ‎-他的手指就掌握在妳手裡 ‎-別這麼說 1066 00:49:56,916 --> 00:49:59,458 ‎老子要痛死了 1067 00:49:59,916 --> 00:50:01,958 ‎抱歉,是不是真的很痛? 1068 00:50:02,041 --> 00:50:03,833 ‎-不會,就跟被紙割到一樣 ‎-真的嗎? 1069 00:50:03,916 --> 00:50:05,333 ‎當然不是 1070 00:50:05,416 --> 00:50:06,583 ‎不要對我大吼 1071 00:50:06,666 --> 00:50:09,708 ‎我開車會緊張,嚴格說來沒有駕照 1072 00:50:09,791 --> 00:50:12,041 ‎-妳沒有駕照? ‎-我以前有 1073 00:50:12,125 --> 00:50:14,166 ‎前陣子過期了 1074 00:50:14,250 --> 00:50:17,125 ‎天殺的,我的手指在該死的夾鍊袋裡 1075 00:50:17,208 --> 00:50:20,333 ‎我知道,我嚇壞了 ‎你可以先放到置物箱嗎? 1076 00:50:20,416 --> 00:50:22,458 ‎可千萬別嚇到妳,是吧? 1077 00:50:24,041 --> 00:50:26,583 ‎-妳姊抽大麻? ‎-我的包包裡有打火機 1078 00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:28,125 ‎我不吸毒 1079 00:50:28,208 --> 00:50:30,166 ‎你好意思自稱職業運動員? 1080 00:50:30,541 --> 00:50:32,083 ‎-小心 ‎-天啊 1081 00:50:32,166 --> 00:50:34,166 ‎慢下來,往右 1082 00:50:34,875 --> 00:50:35,708 ‎有灌木 1083 00:50:36,208 --> 00:50:37,583 ‎絲隆,有沒有搞錯? 1084 00:50:38,083 --> 00:50:39,208 ‎有車 1085 00:50:42,458 --> 00:50:44,125 ‎他們為什麼不直接叫優步? 1086 00:50:45,375 --> 00:50:46,958 ‎藍伯特醫師請至手術室 1087 00:50:47,041 --> 00:50:48,916 ‎藍伯特醫師請立即至手術室 1088 00:50:54,041 --> 00:50:54,875 ‎天啊 1089 00:50:57,041 --> 00:50:58,291 ‎放鬆點 1090 00:50:58,708 --> 00:51:00,958 ‎一切都在我的掌握之中 1091 00:51:01,458 --> 00:51:03,625 ‎你連手指頭都不用抬一下 1092 00:51:05,166 --> 00:51:06,416 ‎有沒有搞錯? 1093 00:51:11,833 --> 00:51:13,416 ‎我累到沒辦法檢舉你們 1094 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:17,000 ‎-謝了 ‎-對不起 1095 00:51:18,333 --> 00:51:20,916 ‎我說真的,我看過妳 1096 00:51:22,583 --> 00:51:23,458 ‎我只是… 1097 00:51:24,250 --> 00:51:27,000 ‎我只是沒辦法指出妳是誰 1098 00:51:31,250 --> 00:51:33,791 ‎醫生馬上過來,他在幫人接腳趾 1099 00:51:33,875 --> 00:51:34,750 ‎腳趾? 1100 00:51:35,250 --> 00:51:36,208 ‎等一下 1101 00:51:36,291 --> 00:51:38,916 ‎手指一定比腳趾還重要 1102 00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:40,333 ‎抱歉 1103 00:51:40,416 --> 00:51:43,250 ‎誰叫你不早一點做蠢事呢 1104 00:51:46,333 --> 00:51:47,166 ‎真嗆 1105 00:51:47,791 --> 00:51:49,416 ‎你真的左右了她的情緒 1106 00:51:49,500 --> 00:51:51,750 ‎全靠一根手指頭 1107 00:51:55,291 --> 00:51:56,833 ‎好 1108 00:51:57,291 --> 00:51:58,125 ‎法魯克 1109 00:51:59,708 --> 00:52:00,541 ‎絲隆 1110 00:52:00,625 --> 00:52:01,958 ‎妳受傷了嗎? 1111 00:52:02,041 --> 00:52:03,500 ‎-妳沒事吧? ‎-你好 1112 00:52:03,583 --> 00:52:04,416 ‎妳好 1113 00:52:05,125 --> 00:52:08,125 ‎我沒事,我不曉得 ‎你在這麼遠的醫院工作 1114 00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:10,833 ‎一般來說沒有 ‎他們叫我過來接合小趾頭 1115 00:52:12,041 --> 00:52:13,416 ‎好厲害 1116 00:52:14,041 --> 00:52:16,041 ‎那是很重要的趾骨 1117 00:52:16,125 --> 00:52:17,375 ‎別說了 1118 00:52:19,541 --> 00:52:21,833 ‎你的工作真的很了不起 1119 00:52:21,916 --> 00:52:23,208 ‎讓人佩服 1120 00:52:25,500 --> 00:52:26,833 ‎我只是盡本份 1121 00:52:26,916 --> 00:52:27,916 ‎-對 ‎-對 1122 00:52:30,416 --> 00:52:33,583 ‎妳沒聯絡我讓我有點失望 1123 00:52:33,875 --> 00:52:37,625 ‎我也很失望沒能看到我最愛的兔子裝 1124 00:52:37,708 --> 00:52:39,666 ‎對,傑克森 1125 00:52:39,750 --> 00:52:40,750 ‎復活節那位 1126 00:52:41,666 --> 00:52:43,458 ‎拿仙女棒手滑了,是嗎? 1127 00:52:43,541 --> 00:52:45,333 ‎那其實是水鴛鴦 1128 00:52:47,875 --> 00:52:48,958 ‎這會很痛 1129 00:52:49,708 --> 00:52:50,833 ‎皮膚有點燒焦 1130 00:52:52,291 --> 00:52:55,083 ‎但是骨頭看起來沒有碎 1131 00:52:55,166 --> 00:52:56,250 ‎太棒了 1132 00:52:56,333 --> 00:52:57,666 ‎好,先等一下 1133 00:52:58,166 --> 00:52:59,875 ‎我們準備送你進手術室 1134 00:52:59,958 --> 00:53:01,916 ‎-你可以救他的手指,他可以救你 ‎-這個… 1135 00:53:02,125 --> 00:53:03,000 ‎等下就知道 1136 00:53:03,666 --> 00:53:04,625 ‎手指交叉祈禱吧 1137 00:53:06,791 --> 00:53:08,000 ‎這場子真難搞 1138 00:53:11,041 --> 00:53:12,166 ‎好 1139 00:53:12,250 --> 00:53:13,375 ‎我們到了 1140 00:53:13,458 --> 00:53:14,291 ‎你沒事吧? 1141 00:53:14,375 --> 00:53:16,583 ‎這裡要脫鞋嗎? 1142 00:53:17,208 --> 00:53:18,041 ‎好 1143 00:53:18,416 --> 00:53:20,250 ‎你的處方籤用藥在這 1144 00:53:20,333 --> 00:53:21,166 ‎謝謝 1145 00:53:21,916 --> 00:53:24,666 ‎街尾的餐館會送湯給你 1146 00:53:26,500 --> 00:53:27,500 ‎還有… 1147 00:53:28,583 --> 00:53:30,458 ‎-我打給你媽 ‎-真的嗎?她… 1148 00:53:30,875 --> 00:53:31,916 ‎她怎麼說? 1149 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,166 ‎她沒接電話,我留了訊息 1150 00:53:34,625 --> 00:53:35,541 ‎好 1151 00:53:35,625 --> 00:53:38,750 ‎我跟她說你出了點小意外 ‎可能該打個電話給你 1152 00:53:39,291 --> 00:53:40,250 ‎謝了 1153 00:53:42,666 --> 00:53:45,666 ‎很抱歉我毀了妳的國慶日 1154 00:53:47,041 --> 00:53:48,500 ‎節日情人守則第三條 1155 00:53:48,708 --> 00:53:50,375 ‎“不能拋下節日情人不管” 1156 00:53:51,083 --> 00:53:52,791 ‎殘肢也不行 1157 00:54:07,083 --> 00:54:09,416 ‎你可能該休息了 1158 00:54:09,500 --> 00:54:11,625 ‎對,是該休息了 1159 00:54:13,583 --> 00:54:14,708 ‎除非… 1160 00:54:15,375 --> 00:54:16,791 ‎你還需要些什麼? 1161 00:54:19,958 --> 00:54:21,458 ‎沒有,應該不用 1162 00:54:23,333 --> 00:54:24,708 ‎我不會有事的 1163 00:54:27,750 --> 00:54:29,041 ‎我真的好累 1164 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:30,958 ‎好 1165 00:54:31,666 --> 00:54:33,958 ‎那我就先走囉 1166 00:54:35,125 --> 00:54:36,541 ‎好,沒問題 1167 00:54:41,916 --> 00:54:42,750 ‎再見 1168 00:55:13,666 --> 00:55:14,791 ‎我們的手碰到了 1169 00:55:16,458 --> 00:55:17,458 ‎真要命 1170 00:55:19,750 --> 00:55:20,791 ‎有用保護措施嗎? 1171 00:55:20,875 --> 00:55:23,333 ‎我說真的,有一股電流 1172 00:55:23,416 --> 00:55:24,541 ‎電流很正點 1173 00:55:25,291 --> 00:55:27,166 ‎老天,我想念來電的感覺 1174 00:55:27,250 --> 00:55:28,666 ‎對,但現在很怪 1175 00:55:28,750 --> 00:55:32,583 ‎比不曉得他的老二 ‎有沒有進過妳體內還怪嗎? 1176 00:55:32,666 --> 00:55:36,083 ‎對,因為來電可能是動了真感情 1177 00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:38,333 ‎我要跟你說感覺有了很大的轉變 1178 00:55:38,416 --> 00:55:40,583 ‎已經不是…柏拉圖式的感情 1179 00:55:40,666 --> 00:55:43,083 ‎你這下慘了,快爬出泥沼 1180 00:55:43,166 --> 00:55:45,375 ‎不行,她弟弟的婚禮就在勞動節 1181 00:55:45,458 --> 00:55:47,333 ‎我實在搞不懂 1182 00:55:47,666 --> 00:55:50,500 ‎妳喜歡他,他喜歡妳 ‎那就不是真正的問題 1183 00:55:50,583 --> 00:55:51,625 ‎有問題 1184 00:55:51,708 --> 00:55:55,375 ‎我不能喜歡他 ‎除非我知道他是真正喜歡我 1185 00:55:55,458 --> 00:55:58,708 ‎你不能跟真的對你有好感的女生 ‎一起參加婚禮 1186 00:55:58,791 --> 00:56:00,375 ‎她們會開始胡思亂想 1187 00:56:00,458 --> 00:56:03,041 ‎聽我說,兄弟 ‎我以黑人的身分說這些話 1188 00:56:03,125 --> 00:56:05,708 ‎別去,不要 1189 00:56:05,791 --> 00:56:07,750 ‎勞動節嚴格說來也算節日 1190 00:56:07,833 --> 00:56:09,291 ‎我們說好要當節日情人 1191 00:56:09,375 --> 00:56:10,791 ‎婚禮勝過節日 1192 00:56:10,875 --> 00:56:12,125 ‎這你懂吧? 1193 00:56:12,791 --> 00:56:15,958 ‎男人討厭婚禮 ‎就算婚禮是在節日舉行,對吧? 1194 00:56:16,041 --> 00:56:18,416 ‎如果他沒有找藉口不去 1195 00:56:18,791 --> 00:56:19,958 ‎那答案就呼之欲出了 1196 00:56:20,833 --> 00:56:22,541 ‎我要邀他參加婚禮 1197 00:56:22,625 --> 00:56:25,708 ‎叫她找別人,可能會有後續發展的人 1198 00:56:26,125 --> 00:56:27,166 ‎算是幫她一個忙 1199 00:56:29,166 --> 00:56:30,291 ‎那我要帶誰去? 1200 00:56:31,750 --> 00:56:34,250 ‎帶一個對婚禮不屑一顧的人 1201 00:56:34,708 --> 00:56:35,958 ‎我有事 1202 00:56:41,083 --> 00:56:43,250 ‎今天不是節日,你打來幹嘛? 1203 00:56:43,333 --> 00:56:45,333 ‎這是急事,要是妳不幫我 1204 00:56:45,416 --> 00:56:47,875 ‎我只好送約克跟莉莎禮物卡 ‎當結婚禮物 1205 00:56:48,333 --> 00:56:49,333 ‎妳覺得這個怎樣? 1206 00:56:52,166 --> 00:56:54,000 ‎又醜又不適合 1207 00:56:54,083 --> 00:56:56,625 ‎居家用品店的枕頭飾套還買得到 1208 00:56:56,708 --> 00:56:58,791 ‎男生才不會賣飾套送人 1209 00:56:59,083 --> 00:57:00,666 ‎這主要是給莉莎的 1210 00:57:01,291 --> 00:57:02,458 ‎妳說得有道理 1211 00:57:02,958 --> 00:57:05,708 ‎我其實在想… 1212 00:57:05,791 --> 00:57:08,625 ‎說實在的,我沒料到會受邀 1213 00:57:09,291 --> 00:57:12,333 ‎所以我不太知道這邊的作法 1214 00:57:12,416 --> 00:57:14,208 ‎這是婚禮,但… 1215 00:57:14,291 --> 00:57:15,625 ‎但也是節日 1216 00:57:15,708 --> 00:57:18,000 ‎對,我…也想過了 1217 00:57:19,541 --> 00:57:20,375 ‎真的嗎? 1218 00:57:20,958 --> 00:57:21,833 ‎太好了 1219 00:57:21,916 --> 00:57:22,875 ‎是嗎? 1220 00:57:23,333 --> 00:57:25,750 ‎那我就鬆了一口氣 1221 00:57:25,833 --> 00:57:26,833 ‎我也是 1222 00:57:27,208 --> 00:57:29,208 ‎-那我們… ‎-那我們就各自攜伴 1223 00:57:30,833 --> 00:57:31,666 ‎攜伴? 1224 00:57:32,375 --> 00:57:34,000 ‎對啊 1225 00:57:34,458 --> 00:57:35,458 ‎攜伴,對吧? 1226 00:57:36,750 --> 00:57:38,458 ‎對,攜伴 1227 00:57:39,291 --> 00:57:40,958 ‎-其他…人 ‎-好極了 1228 00:57:49,916 --> 00:57:51,666 ‎注意,大家先圍過來 1229 00:57:51,750 --> 00:57:53,250 ‎我有話要說 1230 00:57:53,500 --> 00:57:54,416 ‎可以嗎? 1231 00:57:54,500 --> 00:57:56,291 ‎首先,莉莎的父母 1232 00:57:56,458 --> 00:57:59,791 ‎我是否該叫“爸媽”? ‎謝謝你們舉辦這完美的婚禮 1233 00:58:01,125 --> 00:58:03,458 ‎最重要的是,我漂亮的新娘 1234 00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:05,166 ‎和命運女神 1235 00:58:05,791 --> 00:58:09,291 ‎要是我那天沒搭錯車 ‎我們永遠不會認識 1236 00:58:10,333 --> 00:58:11,833 ‎但我們是在派對上認識的? 1237 00:58:11,916 --> 00:58:13,083 ‎我愛妳,寶貝 1238 00:58:13,166 --> 00:58:15,041 ‎-乾杯 ‎-乾杯 1239 00:58:16,666 --> 00:58:17,791 ‎敬我們 1240 00:58:18,208 --> 00:58:19,375 ‎我們成功了 1241 00:58:24,291 --> 00:58:26,250 ‎真不敢相信他帶她參加婚禮 1242 00:58:26,333 --> 00:58:28,166 ‎畢竟他們根本互不認識 1243 00:58:28,875 --> 00:58:30,500 ‎承認吧,真的很怪 1244 00:58:30,583 --> 00:58:32,208 ‎-妳得承認 ‎-我不… 1245 00:58:32,291 --> 00:58:35,125 ‎但他們都是單身的性感男女 ‎其實還好 1246 00:58:35,208 --> 00:58:37,458 ‎她是家人,男生是朋友 1247 00:58:42,583 --> 00:58:44,500 ‎-別鬧了 ‎-什麼? 1248 00:58:46,541 --> 00:58:47,541 ‎真的很怪 1249 00:58:47,625 --> 00:58:51,208 ‎因為絲隆看到血就怕 ‎但她居然跟醫生在一起 1250 00:58:52,166 --> 00:58:53,708 ‎他的手肯定刷得很乾淨 1251 00:58:53,791 --> 00:58:55,000 ‎妳覺得他帥嗎? 1252 00:58:55,083 --> 00:58:57,416 ‎這個啊,臉八分,手十分 1253 00:59:01,166 --> 00:59:02,833 ‎-對女人來說… ‎-別鬧了 1254 00:59:02,916 --> 00:59:04,875 ‎手才是關鍵 1255 00:59:04,958 --> 00:59:05,833 ‎嘿 1256 00:59:08,333 --> 00:59:09,708 ‎-妳看 ‎-怎樣? 1257 00:59:13,250 --> 00:59:14,666 ‎我知道,別弄我 1258 00:59:15,291 --> 00:59:18,208 ‎他們可能只是朋友 ‎她這是友誼的表現,對吧? 1259 00:59:21,541 --> 00:59:22,625 ‎沒感覺嗎? 1260 00:59:23,583 --> 00:59:25,750 ‎隨便,我不在乎 1261 00:59:30,708 --> 00:59:31,541 ‎這… 1262 00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:35,833 ‎沒有 1263 00:59:36,208 --> 00:59:37,416 ‎我什麼感覺也沒有 1264 00:59:40,291 --> 00:59:41,416 ‎完全沒知覺 1265 00:59:42,833 --> 00:59:44,416 ‎我再去拿酒 1266 00:59:45,416 --> 00:59:46,458 ‎伊蓮 1267 00:59:46,541 --> 00:59:48,541 ‎-恭喜 ‎-謝謝你 1268 00:59:48,625 --> 00:59:51,291 ‎你終於幫自己找了另一個節日情人 1269 00:59:51,375 --> 00:59:52,875 ‎我女兒被醫生… 1270 00:59:53,458 --> 00:59:54,708 ‎追走了 1271 00:59:59,708 --> 01:00:00,541 ‎謝謝 1272 01:00:04,875 --> 01:00:05,708 ‎香檳 1273 01:00:08,250 --> 01:00:09,291 ‎婚禮很精彩 1274 01:00:10,166 --> 01:00:11,250 ‎非常動人 1275 01:00:14,833 --> 01:00:15,791 ‎玩得愉快 1276 01:00:16,125 --> 01:00:17,750 ‎你會跟她上床嗎? 1277 01:00:18,833 --> 01:00:19,791 ‎很難說 1278 01:00:19,875 --> 01:00:22,416 ‎我們應該會先吃甜點 1279 01:00:22,500 --> 01:00:23,833 ‎所以你可能跟她上床? 1280 01:00:24,125 --> 01:00:25,625 ‎這不關妳的事 1281 01:00:25,708 --> 01:00:27,333 ‎我們有血緣關係,就關我的事 1282 01:00:27,416 --> 01:00:28,708 ‎妳要跟醫生上床嗎? 1283 01:00:29,833 --> 01:00:32,041 ‎他救了你的手指 ‎這是我能盡的綿薄之意 1284 01:00:32,125 --> 01:00:33,333 ‎他搞砸了 1285 01:00:33,416 --> 01:00:35,208 ‎我還是不能好好比中指 1286 01:00:35,291 --> 01:00:37,833 ‎幸好蘇珊阿姨的眼力沒這麼好了 1287 01:00:38,416 --> 01:00:39,791 ‎妳明明說我的手指沒這麼慘 1288 01:00:39,875 --> 01:00:41,500 ‎我只是客套 1289 01:00:41,583 --> 01:00:43,458 ‎別再幫我的忙了 1290 01:00:43,541 --> 01:00:45,291 ‎這樣吧,你也是 1291 01:00:45,375 --> 01:00:48,125 ‎事實上,我們該重新思考 ‎節日情人這回事 1292 01:00:48,208 --> 01:00:49,208 ‎或許有這必要 1293 01:00:49,291 --> 01:00:50,750 ‎-很好 ‎-很好 1294 01:00:51,125 --> 01:00:53,208 ‎-好極了 ‎-棒呆了 1295 01:00:53,416 --> 01:00:57,000 ‎終於等到了我們都期待的時刻 1296 01:01:01,333 --> 01:01:03,000 ‎溫馨的父女之舞 1297 01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:10,541 ‎這是怎麼回事? 1298 01:01:10,833 --> 01:01:12,708 ‎他們知道這首歌的內容嗎? 1299 01:01:15,208 --> 01:01:16,750 ‎這不是她爸嗎? 1300 01:01:17,625 --> 01:01:19,625 ‎太不恰當了吧 1301 01:01:24,375 --> 01:01:25,583 ‎他們沒搞錯吧? 1302 01:01:26,208 --> 01:01:28,333 ‎婚禮影片會很慘 1303 01:01:28,416 --> 01:01:30,333 ‎對,得有人去跟他們說 1304 01:01:30,416 --> 01:01:31,833 ‎太奇怪了,是她爸爸耶 1305 01:01:32,541 --> 01:01:33,375 ‎說真的 1306 01:01:34,291 --> 01:01:35,916 ‎-不是我們去講 ‎-走吧,沒問題的 1307 01:01:39,333 --> 01:01:41,125 ‎-不好意思 ‎-婚禮很溫馨,先生 1308 01:01:42,375 --> 01:01:43,708 ‎-妳好 ‎-你好 1309 01:01:44,750 --> 01:01:45,666 ‎約克 1310 01:01:48,583 --> 01:01:49,458 ‎對 1311 01:02:27,875 --> 01:02:28,708 ‎慘了 1312 01:02:29,875 --> 01:02:31,083 ‎我外甥女 1313 01:02:37,666 --> 01:02:38,625 ‎你好 1314 01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:00,125 ‎妳沒事吧? 1315 01:03:00,500 --> 01:03:01,416 ‎現在沒事了 1316 01:03:07,166 --> 01:03:08,666 ‎患處要冰敷 1317 01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:16,416 ‎想好怎麼過萬聖節了嗎? 1318 01:03:16,500 --> 01:03:17,625 ‎在計畫了 1319 01:03:19,291 --> 01:03:21,375 ‎-不給糖就搗蛋 ‎-不給糖就搗蛋 1320 01:03:29,666 --> 01:03:31,583 ‎絲隆,別把巧克力吃光了 1321 01:03:31,666 --> 01:03:33,208 ‎妳會肚子痛 1322 01:03:35,125 --> 01:03:36,125 ‎好了沒?吸氣 1323 01:03:36,708 --> 01:03:38,375 ‎好了,搞定了 1324 01:03:39,166 --> 01:03:40,041 ‎天啊 1325 01:03:40,708 --> 01:03:44,000 ‎我好興奮,這是我生完孩子後 ‎第一次參加成人派對 1326 01:03:44,083 --> 01:03:45,500 ‎彼得不能來,妳會難過嗎? 1327 01:03:45,583 --> 01:03:47,916 ‎今晚跟平常一樣 1328 01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:50,333 ‎-好了沒?吸氣 ‎-老天 1329 01:03:52,458 --> 01:03:55,583 ‎萬聖節變裝什麼時候 ‎從扮公主變成扮妓女的? 1330 01:03:55,666 --> 01:03:57,000 ‎不曉得,六年級吧? 1331 01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:58,375 ‎妓女是什麼? 1332 01:03:59,791 --> 01:04:02,083 ‎跟男生玩就有錢拿的人 1333 01:04:02,166 --> 01:04:03,666 ‎我想當妓女 1334 01:04:04,041 --> 01:04:04,916 ‎我也是 1335 01:04:05,750 --> 01:04:08,666 ‎好,那要記得,五成歸妓院 1336 01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:15,000 ‎原來這就是把服裝 ‎交給傑克森處理的結果 1337 01:04:16,750 --> 01:04:17,583 ‎這給妳 1338 01:04:17,666 --> 01:04:19,875 ‎-這什麼? ‎-預防性制酸劑 1339 01:04:19,958 --> 01:04:21,250 ‎假裝是糖果吃下去 1340 01:04:26,833 --> 01:04:28,833 ‎我的服裝在這裡最潮 1341 01:04:28,916 --> 01:04:31,416 ‎你看,這套服裝真棒 1342 01:04:31,500 --> 01:04:32,583 ‎我很帥,對吧? 1343 01:04:32,666 --> 01:04:34,458 ‎我很帥,快說我很帥 1344 01:04:34,541 --> 01:04:35,791 ‎你的樣子超荒謬 1345 01:04:35,875 --> 01:04:38,416 ‎會嚇到人,但不是因為模樣恐怖 1346 01:04:38,500 --> 01:04:40,125 ‎你對我有意見,傑克史派羅? 1347 01:04:40,208 --> 01:04:42,875 ‎我可是黑豹耶,瓦干達萬歲 1348 01:04:42,958 --> 01:04:46,958 ‎-你一點也不像黑豹 ‎-我不一樣,這是我的版本 1349 01:04:47,041 --> 01:04:50,875 ‎停止仇恨,我就是想穿這套衣服 ‎這是我的特權 1350 01:04:50,958 --> 01:04:53,375 ‎-再說,我不用穿內褲 ‎-大家好啊 1351 01:04:53,458 --> 01:04:54,333 ‎妳好 1352 01:04:54,416 --> 01:04:55,916 ‎很好…剛剛好 1353 01:04:57,166 --> 01:04:58,166 ‎無可挑剔 1354 01:05:01,250 --> 01:05:03,541 ‎-尼爾,這是我姊艾比 ‎-你好 1355 01:05:07,250 --> 01:05:10,625 ‎阿囉,今天好嗎 ‎我漂亮的德國小野貓? 1356 01:05:13,125 --> 01:05:15,083 ‎不了,謝謝 1357 01:05:17,916 --> 01:05:19,250 ‎黑豹出巡 1358 01:05:20,291 --> 01:05:21,375 ‎妳要去哪,寶貝? 1359 01:05:22,291 --> 01:05:23,125 ‎要喝一杯嗎? 1360 01:05:23,208 --> 01:05:24,916 ‎-馬上給我 ‎-兩瓶,謝謝 1361 01:05:25,583 --> 01:05:27,750 ‎-天啊 ‎-原來妳在這 1362 01:05:27,833 --> 01:05:29,708 ‎我一直在找妳,妳在玩欲擒故縱 1363 01:05:29,791 --> 01:05:32,291 ‎我等下再過來,她想得到我,想死了 1364 01:05:32,375 --> 01:05:34,416 ‎快問我下面有什麼?什麼都沒有 1365 01:05:34,500 --> 01:05:35,625 ‎過來,小妞 1366 01:05:41,125 --> 01:05:42,750 ‎莉莎,這派對真精彩,恭喜 1367 01:05:42,833 --> 01:05:46,333 ‎這簡直是災難一場 ‎誰會在場地放這麼多乾冰? 1368 01:05:46,416 --> 01:05:49,083 ‎但很好玩,很嚇人又… 1369 01:05:49,625 --> 01:05:51,333 ‎我喜歡妳的服裝 1370 01:05:51,416 --> 01:05:54,583 ‎我好難為情 ‎我們應該扮埃及豔后跟馬克安東尼的 1371 01:05:54,666 --> 01:05:56,458 ‎不給糖就搗蛋,狂歡男女 1372 01:05:56,916 --> 01:05:58,500 ‎你扮演什麼角色? 1373 01:05:58,583 --> 01:05:59,750 ‎馬克安東尼 1374 01:06:01,708 --> 01:06:03,083 ‎拉丁歌手? 1375 01:06:04,791 --> 01:06:06,000 ‎珍妮佛羅培茲的老公? 1376 01:06:06,083 --> 01:06:07,625 ‎他們早就分手了 1377 01:06:07,708 --> 01:06:09,208 ‎新歡是艾力士羅德里奎茲 1378 01:06:12,833 --> 01:06:14,500 ‎妳邀路克來? 1379 01:06:14,583 --> 01:06:15,791 ‎大家好 1380 01:06:16,833 --> 01:06:19,500 ‎-萬聖節快樂 ‎-我喜歡這套蕩婦裝 1381 01:06:20,333 --> 01:06:21,666 ‎謝謝 1382 01:06:21,750 --> 01:06:24,166 ‎妳的也很棒,這肚子好逼真 1383 01:06:24,250 --> 01:06:26,541 ‎超像懷孕了 1384 01:06:26,625 --> 01:06:28,625 ‎-不像假的 ‎-不是假的? 1385 01:06:28,708 --> 01:06:29,791 ‎不是假的 1386 01:06:31,208 --> 01:06:32,083 ‎預產期是兩天後 1387 01:06:32,500 --> 01:06:34,166 ‎我沒辦法要她待在家 1388 01:06:34,250 --> 01:06:37,166 ‎我說過了,寶貝 ‎這孩子不會改變我們的生活 1389 01:06:41,708 --> 01:06:43,000 ‎還真可愛呢 1390 01:06:43,083 --> 01:06:44,041 ‎謝謝 1391 01:06:44,125 --> 01:06:45,208 ‎天啊 1392 01:06:45,708 --> 01:06:46,541 ‎懷孕了 1393 01:06:48,583 --> 01:06:50,250 ‎-她懷孕了 ‎-我知道 1394 01:06:50,333 --> 01:06:51,833 ‎她很可愛 1395 01:06:51,916 --> 01:06:54,458 ‎-要喝點什麼嗎?我們過去拿 ‎-恭喜 1396 01:06:54,541 --> 01:06:57,416 ‎-謝謝 ‎-恭喜 1397 01:06:57,500 --> 01:06:58,875 ‎-太感謝妳了 ‎-謝謝 1398 01:06:58,958 --> 01:07:00,083 ‎我替你感到非常開心 1399 01:07:02,041 --> 01:07:04,375 ‎懷孕?她居然懷孕了? 1400 01:07:04,458 --> 01:07:07,541 ‎怎麼可能?她才剛結束青春期吧 1401 01:07:07,625 --> 01:07:08,750 ‎天啊 1402 01:07:08,833 --> 01:07:11,458 ‎-我不舒服 ‎-好,妳需要喝一杯 1403 01:07:11,541 --> 01:07:14,333 ‎不,我真的不舒服 1404 01:07:14,833 --> 01:07:18,500 ‎我吃了大概50根迷你糖果棒 ‎一整桶的玉米糖 1405 01:07:18,583 --> 01:07:21,291 ‎我的前男友還搞大青少女的肚子 1406 01:07:21,375 --> 01:07:23,208 ‎親愛的,再吃一顆制酸劑 1407 01:07:23,291 --> 01:07:24,208 ‎妳還好嗎? 1408 01:07:25,083 --> 01:07:25,916 ‎不好 1409 01:07:26,708 --> 01:07:27,958 ‎不好,可以嗎? 1410 01:07:28,291 --> 01:07:31,291 ‎誰叫我讓你去找這種刑求裝 ‎害得我這麼難受 1411 01:07:32,958 --> 01:07:35,458 ‎-要我帶妳回家嗎? ‎-好 1412 01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:38,250 ‎沒關係,我帶她回去 1413 01:07:38,333 --> 01:07:41,041 ‎不用,我可以,只是… 1414 01:07:41,125 --> 01:07:43,083 ‎-你願意的話… ‎-沒關係 1415 01:07:43,166 --> 01:07:46,083 ‎-你不用這麼做 ‎-節日情人守則第三條 1416 01:07:46,166 --> 01:07:48,166 ‎不能拋下節日情人不管,走吧 1417 01:07:56,833 --> 01:07:57,833 ‎好 1418 01:07:58,708 --> 01:07:59,708 ‎好,下車吧,親愛的 1419 01:08:00,291 --> 01:08:02,083 ‎走吧 1420 01:08:02,750 --> 01:08:04,375 ‎你就別管我了 1421 01:08:05,333 --> 01:08:08,125 ‎-好,不行,我們走吧,好了嗎? ‎-拜託別管我 1422 01:08:08,208 --> 01:08:10,208 ‎-一、二、三 ‎-不要 1423 01:08:11,333 --> 01:08:12,333 ‎好 1424 01:08:12,416 --> 01:08:13,500 ‎來吧 1425 01:08:13,583 --> 01:08:14,750 ‎快到家了 1426 01:08:17,583 --> 01:08:18,583 ‎天啊 1427 01:08:18,833 --> 01:08:21,416 ‎-今天是萬聖節 ‎-對,所以才要變裝 1428 01:08:21,500 --> 01:08:24,750 ‎二月、三月、四月、五月 ‎六月、七月、八月、九月、十月 1429 01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:26,041 ‎他們在 1430 01:08:26,125 --> 01:08:27,916 ‎情人節上床的 1431 01:08:28,500 --> 01:08:30,375 ‎大家都會在情人節上床 1432 01:08:30,458 --> 01:08:32,666 ‎我就沒有! 1433 01:08:33,208 --> 01:08:34,208 ‎我也沒有 1434 01:08:34,291 --> 01:08:37,625 ‎他們根本還不認識彼此 ‎就開始亂搞了 1435 01:08:37,708 --> 01:08:39,291 ‎亂七八糟,走吧,快點 1436 01:08:39,375 --> 01:08:41,708 ‎天啊,好丟臉 1437 01:08:41,791 --> 01:08:44,708 ‎-相信我,我看過更慘的 ‎-怎麼可能比我慘? 1438 01:08:44,791 --> 01:08:46,333 ‎-對 ‎-我肚子痛 1439 01:08:46,500 --> 01:08:48,125 ‎-可以再給我一顆嗎? ‎-好 1440 01:08:51,500 --> 01:08:52,375 ‎完了 1441 01:08:52,458 --> 01:08:53,291 ‎(緩釋輕瀉劑) 1442 01:09:01,041 --> 01:09:02,083 ‎幫我解開 1443 01:09:02,833 --> 01:09:04,791 ‎-什麼? ‎-別多問 1444 01:09:04,875 --> 01:09:06,000 ‎快幫我解開 1445 01:09:06,083 --> 01:09:07,083 ‎快點 1446 01:09:08,041 --> 01:09:11,458 ‎-綁帶,快點 ‎-怎麼這麼複雜? 1447 01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:13,458 ‎我很努力了,正在想辦法解開 1448 01:09:15,458 --> 01:09:16,291 ‎直接扯破吧 1449 01:09:16,750 --> 01:09:17,750 ‎好,快… 1450 01:09:17,833 --> 01:09:20,166 ‎直接扯破 1451 01:09:20,250 --> 01:09:22,875 ‎快把我的褲子扯破 1452 01:09:31,666 --> 01:09:34,666 ‎-這比魔術機關還難解開 ‎-都是你害的 1453 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:38,166 ‎天啊 1454 01:09:38,250 --> 01:09:40,416 ‎拜託不要讓我發生這種事 1455 01:09:40,500 --> 01:09:41,458 ‎靠 1456 01:09:42,833 --> 01:09:45,375 ‎不要讓我拉在褲子上 1457 01:09:45,458 --> 01:09:48,125 ‎快,我快解開了… 1458 01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:50,250 ‎快脫掉 1459 01:09:51,333 --> 01:09:52,875 ‎-要命,快點 ‎-開門 1460 01:09:53,375 --> 01:09:55,583 ‎-妳可以的,快點,我們可以的 ‎-靠 1461 01:09:56,875 --> 01:09:59,166 ‎-來,妳不會有事的,快好了 ‎-放開我 1462 01:09:59,250 --> 01:10:01,208 ‎-等一下 ‎-等不了 1463 01:10:03,458 --> 01:10:04,666 ‎好了 1464 01:10:05,208 --> 01:10:06,458 ‎慘了 1465 01:10:08,666 --> 01:10:09,916 ‎來得及嗎? 1466 01:10:10,625 --> 01:10:12,250 ‎走開 1467 01:10:13,583 --> 01:10:14,500 ‎走開 1468 01:10:28,083 --> 01:10:29,125 ‎不要看我 1469 01:10:29,208 --> 01:10:30,541 ‎我沒有看 1470 01:10:59,333 --> 01:11:00,666 ‎薄荷茶 1471 01:11:01,250 --> 01:11:02,375 ‎可以舒緩反胃的症狀 1472 01:11:03,666 --> 01:11:05,125 ‎我居然有薄荷茶? 1473 01:11:06,166 --> 01:11:07,000 ‎算是有 1474 01:11:07,083 --> 01:11:10,250 ‎我把薄荷糖壓碎放進滾水而已 1475 01:11:15,875 --> 01:11:16,791 ‎我猜這下… 1476 01:11:17,416 --> 01:11:20,208 ‎我會成為你在派對上講的笑話了吧? 1477 01:11:21,166 --> 01:11:22,416 ‎有個女的… 1478 01:11:24,541 --> 01:11:25,958 ‎有個女的… 1479 01:11:28,875 --> 01:11:30,958 ‎有個女的在萬聖節拉在褲子上? 1480 01:11:31,458 --> 01:11:32,916 ‎天啊 1481 01:11:37,083 --> 01:11:38,000 ‎其實 1482 01:11:38,583 --> 01:11:39,458 ‎嚴格說來… 1483 01:11:40,625 --> 01:11:43,333 ‎我們從出生就一直拉在褲子上 1484 01:11:49,458 --> 01:11:51,666 ‎別擔心,好嗎?我不會說出去的 1485 01:11:52,708 --> 01:11:53,666 ‎我保證 1486 01:12:00,958 --> 01:12:01,791 ‎謝謝 1487 01:13:11,416 --> 01:13:14,625 ‎我討厭電影裡的情侶在早上接吻 1488 01:13:15,833 --> 01:13:17,375 ‎我覺得很噁心 1489 01:14:47,625 --> 01:14:48,458 ‎太驚人了 1490 01:14:49,875 --> 01:14:50,708 ‎是啊 1491 01:14:53,125 --> 01:14:54,625 ‎我們可能應該… 1492 01:14:56,208 --> 01:14:58,041 ‎你想先走也沒關係 1493 01:15:00,375 --> 01:15:01,416 ‎妳要我先走? 1494 01:15:05,916 --> 01:15:08,458 ‎我是說如果你想走的話啦 1495 01:15:09,666 --> 01:15:12,625 ‎不用覺得你非留下不可 1496 01:15:13,708 --> 01:15:14,791 ‎非留不可? 1497 01:15:16,750 --> 01:15:18,958 ‎萬聖節過了,不是嗎? 1498 01:15:21,458 --> 01:15:22,291 ‎對 1499 01:15:23,166 --> 01:15:24,375 ‎萬聖節過了 1500 01:15:44,916 --> 01:15:46,666 ‎好,我來了 1501 01:15:49,375 --> 01:15:50,916 ‎我親了黑豹 1502 01:15:51,000 --> 01:15:52,666 ‎-什麼? ‎-黑豹 1503 01:15:53,208 --> 01:15:54,291 ‎我親了他 1504 01:15:54,375 --> 01:15:56,000 ‎我們在排隊 1505 01:15:56,375 --> 01:15:59,500 ‎排廁所時,事情就這樣發生了 1506 01:15:59,583 --> 01:16:00,416 ‎我們接吻了 1507 01:16:00,916 --> 01:16:01,916 ‎舌吻嗎? 1508 01:16:03,041 --> 01:16:06,458 ‎天啊,我好糟糕,要下地獄一千次 1509 01:16:06,541 --> 01:16:10,208 ‎-妳不糟糕 ‎-天啊,我就是 1510 01:16:10,291 --> 01:16:12,916 ‎我是糟糕的人妻兼人母 1511 01:16:13,000 --> 01:16:15,666 ‎我嫁給一個無可挑剔的聖人 1512 01:16:15,750 --> 01:16:18,291 ‎彼得是全世界最棒的男人 1513 01:16:18,375 --> 01:16:20,000 ‎我居然這樣對他? 1514 01:16:20,625 --> 01:16:22,083 ‎我討厭我自己 1515 01:16:22,416 --> 01:16:24,500 ‎-別這樣… ‎-我真不敢相信 1516 01:16:24,583 --> 01:16:29,041 ‎我親了黑豹 1517 01:16:32,708 --> 01:16:33,708 ‎早安,艾比 1518 01:16:39,791 --> 01:16:40,708 ‎你好 1519 01:16:43,208 --> 01:16:45,958 ‎我剛在跟絲隆說我昨晚的夢 1520 01:16:46,041 --> 01:16:47,041 ‎好 1521 01:16:48,583 --> 01:16:49,875 ‎我要走了 1522 01:16:52,250 --> 01:16:53,083 ‎等一下 1523 01:16:56,500 --> 01:16:57,625 ‎你們上床了 1524 01:16:58,916 --> 01:17:00,000 ‎我們沒有 1525 01:17:00,416 --> 01:17:01,333 ‎沒有嗎? 1526 01:17:04,708 --> 01:17:06,000 ‎我該走了,好 1527 01:17:06,083 --> 01:17:07,500 ‎不,妳留下來 1528 01:17:07,583 --> 01:17:08,416 ‎妳的夢 1529 01:17:08,500 --> 01:17:11,375 ‎好像讓妳很難過 1530 01:17:12,375 --> 01:17:14,291 ‎對,妳留下,我走吧 1531 01:17:19,666 --> 01:17:20,583 ‎好嗎? 1532 01:17:25,875 --> 01:17:26,708 ‎好 1533 01:17:28,333 --> 01:17:29,208 ‎再見 1534 01:17:30,250 --> 01:17:32,333 ‎再見,感恩節見 1535 01:17:36,333 --> 01:17:37,583 ‎剛剛是怎麼回事? 1536 01:17:38,666 --> 01:17:39,958 ‎怎樣? 1537 01:17:40,375 --> 01:17:41,500 ‎沒事 1538 01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:43,041 ‎我去沖咖啡 1539 01:17:43,125 --> 01:17:45,000 ‎她把我趕出門 1540 01:17:45,833 --> 01:17:47,500 ‎你是說她甚至不想跟你相依偎? 1541 01:17:47,958 --> 01:17:49,583 ‎-抱抱? ‎-不要 1542 01:17:49,666 --> 01:17:50,791 ‎吃早午餐? 1543 01:17:52,250 --> 01:17:53,708 ‎我連咖啡都沒喝到 1544 01:17:54,875 --> 01:17:56,208 ‎真慘,老兄,太傷人了 1545 01:17:57,458 --> 01:17:59,041 ‎從來沒有人要我離開 1546 01:17:59,125 --> 01:18:00,500 ‎兄弟,我感同身受 1547 01:18:00,583 --> 01:18:03,750 ‎我跟艾比心靈相通,她也沒打給我 1548 01:18:05,166 --> 01:18:07,333 ‎你知道她對我說的 ‎最後一句話是什麼嗎? 1549 01:18:07,875 --> 01:18:09,416 ‎“感恩節再見” 1550 01:18:09,958 --> 01:18:12,750 ‎彷彿上了床對她毫無意義 1551 01:18:12,833 --> 01:18:14,541 ‎太冷血了,老兄 1552 01:18:15,416 --> 01:18:17,041 ‎但你還是有節日情人,對吧? 1553 01:18:18,166 --> 01:18:21,833 ‎-我覺得我演不下去了 ‎-我是這樣想的 1554 01:18:22,541 --> 01:18:25,250 ‎你感恩節照樣去她家 ‎然後裝成一副沒事的樣子 1555 01:18:25,333 --> 01:18:26,166 ‎好 1556 01:18:26,250 --> 01:18:27,833 ‎若能讓你舒坦一點,我可以陪你 1557 01:18:29,166 --> 01:18:30,500 ‎-為什麼? ‎-為什麼? 1558 01:18:31,583 --> 01:18:33,750 ‎我跟艾比心靈相通,記得嗎? 1559 01:18:35,083 --> 01:18:36,208 ‎-真的嗎? ‎-真的 1560 01:18:36,666 --> 01:18:38,125 ‎你跟已婚 1561 01:18:38,208 --> 01:18:40,375 ‎生了四個小孩的婦女心靈相通? 1562 01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:43,125 ‎被你這麼一說,感覺很糟 1563 01:18:44,500 --> 01:18:46,416 ‎-但要是她問起我… ‎-她不會的 1564 01:18:46,500 --> 01:18:47,625 ‎對,好的 1565 01:18:48,041 --> 01:18:49,750 ‎-但要是她問起… ‎-她不會的 1566 01:18:49,833 --> 01:18:50,958 ‎真傷人 1567 01:18:51,041 --> 01:18:51,958 ‎好 1568 01:18:52,458 --> 01:18:54,375 ‎-放下吧 ‎-我很努力要放下 1569 01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:57,625 ‎關了一扇門,就會有另一扇打開 1570 01:18:57,708 --> 01:18:58,750 ‎是的 1571 01:18:58,833 --> 01:19:00,833 ‎門關好,上鎖 1572 01:19:00,916 --> 01:19:02,333 ‎-要是她問起… ‎-她不會的 1573 01:19:02,416 --> 01:19:03,333 ‎我在這 1574 01:19:04,750 --> 01:19:06,666 ‎妳們好啊 1575 01:19:06,750 --> 01:19:09,375 ‎感恩節快樂 1576 01:19:09,458 --> 01:19:11,333 ‎-感恩節快樂 ‎-親親 1577 01:19:13,333 --> 01:19:15,500 ‎這是我的新朋友,華倫 1578 01:19:15,916 --> 01:19:17,583 ‎-華利 ‎-我就是這樣說的 1579 01:19:18,125 --> 01:19:19,083 ‎你好,我是艾比 1580 01:19:19,166 --> 01:19:20,500 ‎-華利 ‎-我是絲隆 1581 01:19:20,583 --> 01:19:21,625 ‎絲隆,幸會 1582 01:19:23,125 --> 01:19:26,750 ‎太好了,廚房飄來陣陣香味 1583 01:19:26,833 --> 01:19:28,416 ‎我可以試吃嗎? 1584 01:19:28,500 --> 01:19:29,375 ‎不行 1585 01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:30,875 ‎那就等一下吧 1586 01:19:31,458 --> 01:19:33,416 ‎我說過我姊做什麼都會燒焦 1587 01:19:33,500 --> 01:19:35,541 ‎沒燒焦,是全熟 1588 01:19:36,583 --> 01:19:38,166 ‎所以才要塗油 1589 01:19:38,541 --> 01:19:39,708 ‎我沒差 1590 01:19:39,791 --> 01:19:41,791 ‎我喜歡脆皮的肉 1591 01:19:47,875 --> 01:19:49,208 ‎妳沒邀法魯克? 1592 01:19:49,291 --> 01:19:50,791 ‎那個人啊?沒有 1593 01:19:51,750 --> 01:19:53,083 ‎妳也知道我這人 1594 01:19:53,166 --> 01:19:54,833 ‎一個節日情人只邀一次 1595 01:19:54,916 --> 01:19:57,125 ‎但你們在一起看起來很幸福 1596 01:19:57,208 --> 01:20:00,083 ‎短暫又甜蜜,親愛的 ‎萬事萬物終有盡頭 1597 01:20:00,750 --> 01:20:03,083 ‎何必坐等盡頭到來呢? 1598 01:20:08,708 --> 01:20:12,083 ‎莉莎、約克、艾比、彼得、我 1599 01:20:12,166 --> 01:20:14,625 ‎蘇珊、蘇珊的新任 1600 01:20:14,708 --> 01:20:16,375 ‎我跟傑克森 1601 01:20:16,458 --> 01:20:18,333 ‎妳確定他會來嗎? 1602 01:20:18,416 --> 01:20:20,083 ‎我不想把桌子加長 1603 01:20:20,166 --> 01:20:21,000 ‎會 1604 01:20:21,083 --> 01:20:21,916 ‎他會來 1605 01:20:22,333 --> 01:20:23,875 ‎他一個人來吧? 1606 01:20:24,291 --> 01:20:25,333 ‎那就好 1607 01:20:25,583 --> 01:20:27,875 ‎-就加長吧 ‎-桌板在地下室 1608 01:20:27,958 --> 01:20:30,208 ‎-媽 ‎-用鋼琴椅吧 1609 01:20:30,291 --> 01:20:32,208 ‎加長就對了 1610 01:20:34,083 --> 01:20:35,208 ‎沒事吧? 1611 01:20:38,000 --> 01:20:39,083 ‎晚餐燒焦了嗎? 1612 01:20:40,291 --> 01:20:41,500 ‎我打電話叫消防車 1613 01:20:41,583 --> 01:20:43,208 ‎不用,沒關係,女兒 1614 01:20:43,291 --> 01:20:45,333 ‎外婆剛烤焦了火雞和餡料 1615 01:20:45,416 --> 01:20:47,291 ‎希望連派也是 1616 01:20:49,000 --> 01:20:51,541 ‎-是紫薯,不是地瓜 ‎-好啦,我知道 1617 01:20:51,625 --> 01:20:52,791 ‎還有蔓越莓醬 1618 01:20:52,875 --> 01:20:54,250 ‎不要買那種自以為是 1619 01:20:54,333 --> 01:20:56,333 ‎-宣稱用整顆蔓越莓的 ‎-好 1620 01:20:56,416 --> 01:20:57,333 ‎還要一個派 1621 01:21:02,625 --> 01:21:03,500 ‎你好 1622 01:21:03,583 --> 01:21:04,416 ‎妳好 1623 01:21:05,166 --> 01:21:06,083 ‎你好啊 1624 01:21:08,875 --> 01:21:10,375 ‎我們有甜點了 1625 01:21:10,458 --> 01:21:12,750 ‎不過鄰居說不定有需要 1626 01:21:15,625 --> 01:21:17,750 ‎我要去買東西,你可以… 1627 01:21:19,041 --> 01:21:19,916 ‎我來開車 1628 01:21:21,833 --> 01:21:22,791 ‎好 1629 01:21:37,291 --> 01:21:38,208 ‎所以… 1630 01:21:39,041 --> 01:21:39,958 ‎最近好嗎? 1631 01:21:40,750 --> 01:21:41,666 ‎很好 1632 01:21:42,125 --> 01:21:42,958 ‎很忙 1633 01:21:43,625 --> 01:21:44,500 ‎妳呢? 1634 01:21:45,000 --> 01:21:45,833 ‎很好 1635 01:21:46,083 --> 01:21:47,000 ‎很忙 1636 01:21:48,625 --> 01:21:50,791 ‎-要洋芋片嗎? ‎-妳知道我不吃垃圾食物的 1637 01:21:50,875 --> 01:21:52,625 ‎這不是垃圾,這是有機的 1638 01:21:53,041 --> 01:21:55,750 ‎我們要假裝什麼事都沒發生過嗎? 1639 01:21:55,833 --> 01:21:56,875 ‎我可以接受 1640 01:22:00,125 --> 01:22:02,791 ‎我先聲明,想走的人不是我 1641 01:22:02,875 --> 01:22:04,791 ‎我沒聽到你說要留下 1642 01:22:04,875 --> 01:22:06,833 ‎妳沒有給我機會說 1643 01:22:06,916 --> 01:22:08,041 ‎少來了 1644 01:22:08,125 --> 01:22:10,458 ‎你一開始根本不想跟我上床 1645 01:22:14,083 --> 01:22:16,041 ‎來,我們走吧 1646 01:22:16,958 --> 01:22:19,166 ‎你沒那麼喜歡我,你說的啊 1647 01:22:19,666 --> 01:22:21,125 ‎妳幹嘛一直鑽牛角尖? 1648 01:22:22,083 --> 01:22:24,000 ‎因為基本上男生一開口 1649 01:22:24,083 --> 01:22:26,500 ‎就說出女生沒吸引力 1650 01:22:26,583 --> 01:22:28,583 ‎這段感情就定調了 1651 01:22:31,125 --> 01:22:33,833 ‎我只是在賣場出現的路人甲 1652 01:22:33,916 --> 01:22:36,250 ‎老實說,如果妳聽到這些話 ‎會發生什麼事? 1653 01:22:36,333 --> 01:22:38,916 ‎“我覺得妳美得不像話 1654 01:22:40,625 --> 01:22:42,083 ‎有著讓人… 1655 01:22:43,833 --> 01:22:45,000 ‎想一親芳澤的雙唇 1656 01:22:47,916 --> 01:22:48,916 ‎雙眼是這麼… 1657 01:22:50,916 --> 01:22:53,541 ‎老實說,我不曉得怎麼了 ‎但讓我連自己的名字都忘了” 1658 01:22:57,916 --> 01:23:00,000 ‎妳一定不可能跟我約會 1659 01:23:00,500 --> 01:23:02,375 ‎特別是除夕夜 1660 01:23:05,500 --> 01:23:06,500 ‎所以… 1661 01:23:09,291 --> 01:23:10,625 ‎這樣情況會有所改變嗎? 1662 01:23:14,666 --> 01:23:15,625 ‎不會 1663 01:23:16,125 --> 01:23:17,208 ‎什麼都沒變 1664 01:23:18,083 --> 01:23:19,875 ‎事實上,你不用緊張 1665 01:23:19,958 --> 01:23:23,500 ‎想繼續在節日之間 ‎跟多少個雞尾酒女侍上床都行 1666 01:23:23,583 --> 01:23:26,500 ‎沒人期望你在感恩節求婚 1667 01:23:31,375 --> 01:23:32,708 ‎謝謝妳告訴我 1668 01:23:32,791 --> 01:23:34,750 ‎至少這次的爛人不是我 1669 01:23:34,833 --> 01:23:37,791 ‎什麼意思?你覺得我是爛人? 1670 01:23:37,875 --> 01:23:38,708 ‎對 1671 01:23:39,125 --> 01:23:40,666 ‎-我? ‎-對 1672 01:23:40,750 --> 01:23:44,166 ‎妳努力避免自己動了感情 1673 01:23:44,250 --> 01:23:47,083 ‎妳自欺欺人,所以妳是個爛人 1674 01:23:48,125 --> 01:23:50,166 ‎我寧可當爛人 1675 01:23:50,250 --> 01:23:53,875 ‎勝過急著想找個伴 ‎結果跑去賣場找節日情人 1676 01:23:53,958 --> 01:23:54,958 ‎不對 1677 01:23:55,041 --> 01:23:57,041 ‎妳當時情急到接受我的提議 1678 01:23:59,708 --> 01:24:01,666 ‎-你要去哪? ‎-我要走了 1679 01:24:02,875 --> 01:24:04,041 ‎好,走啊 1680 01:24:04,583 --> 01:24:07,333 ‎你以後一定會再穿醜聖誕毛衣 1681 01:24:12,708 --> 01:24:13,875 ‎說不定有 1682 01:24:15,000 --> 01:24:17,291 ‎但至少我不會孤伶伶地過 1683 01:24:17,500 --> 01:24:20,958 ‎坐在兒童桌 ‎把自己的問題推到別人頭上 1684 01:24:22,916 --> 01:24:24,166 ‎妳知道嗎? 1685 01:24:25,083 --> 01:24:26,500 ‎我拿錢跟妳賭 1686 01:24:26,583 --> 01:24:29,083 ‎就算雷恩葛斯林 ‎在這條食物走道悠然現身 1687 01:24:29,166 --> 01:24:33,458 ‎邀妳搭上人生的列車,妳也會拒絕他 1688 01:24:36,791 --> 01:24:38,958 ‎因為妳怕到不敢上車 1689 01:24:39,916 --> 01:24:41,500 ‎雷恩葛斯林列車 1690 01:24:46,125 --> 01:24:48,000 ‎你大錯特錯了 1691 01:24:49,916 --> 01:24:53,083 ‎雷恩葛斯林才不會自己買東西 1692 01:24:55,666 --> 01:24:57,416 ‎他帥到不用自己買 1693 01:25:01,125 --> 01:25:04,125 ‎妳不要這麼小氣,該換新桌子了 1694 01:25:04,208 --> 01:25:05,625 ‎這是媽媽的桌子 1695 01:25:05,708 --> 01:25:08,125 ‎妳只是嫉妒她把桌子留給我 1696 01:25:08,750 --> 01:25:10,208 ‎那是因為我不想要 1697 01:25:10,291 --> 01:25:12,000 ‎我覺得這張桌子很漂亮 1698 01:25:12,083 --> 01:25:13,583 ‎閉嘴,華倫 1699 01:25:13,666 --> 01:25:14,875 ‎-華利 ‎-華利 1700 01:25:18,125 --> 01:25:19,750 ‎傑克森呢? 1701 01:25:20,291 --> 01:25:21,625 ‎我不知道,也不想管 1702 01:25:21,708 --> 01:25:23,625 ‎我就知道,不用加長了 1703 01:25:24,083 --> 01:25:25,708 ‎天啊,絲隆,妳做了什麼? 1704 01:25:26,333 --> 01:25:28,708 ‎我什麼都沒做,妳憑什麼覺得是我? 1705 01:25:29,375 --> 01:25:31,958 ‎親愛的,妳總是會搞砸 1706 01:25:32,041 --> 01:25:33,666 ‎或許現在道歉還不遲 1707 01:25:33,750 --> 01:25:36,458 ‎-對啊,絲隆,傑克人很好 ‎-先等等 1708 01:25:37,041 --> 01:25:38,625 ‎憑什麼覺得是我不對? 1709 01:25:38,708 --> 01:25:42,125 ‎-要是妳能對他實話實說就好了 ‎-妳要我說實話? 1710 01:25:42,416 --> 01:25:44,000 ‎對,說不定這次 1711 01:25:44,083 --> 01:25:47,166 ‎我們就可以好好過節 ‎不用因妳的私生活搞得晚餐烏煙瘴氣 1712 01:25:47,250 --> 01:25:48,625 ‎我的私生活? 1713 01:25:48,708 --> 01:25:49,875 ‎一團混亂 1714 01:25:49,958 --> 01:25:51,916 ‎向來一團亂 1715 01:25:52,000 --> 01:25:53,583 ‎好,我的“私生活” 1716 01:25:53,666 --> 01:25:56,916 ‎或許一團亂,但至少我沒有親黑豹 1717 01:25:57,000 --> 01:25:58,041 ‎賤女人 1718 01:25:58,416 --> 01:26:00,875 ‎-黑豹是什麼? ‎-傑克森在萬聖節帶的朋友? 1719 01:26:00,958 --> 01:26:02,791 ‎他扮成黑豹,非常傳神 1720 01:26:02,875 --> 01:26:05,583 ‎慢著,什麼?妳親了黑豹? 1721 01:26:07,750 --> 01:26:09,666 ‎差一點,那是意外 1722 01:26:09,750 --> 01:26:12,750 ‎-我沒看到有人伸舌頭 ‎-你看到他們接吻卻沒跟我說? 1723 01:26:12,833 --> 01:26:14,916 ‎-妳守不住秘密 ‎-你怎麼知道? 1724 01:26:15,000 --> 01:26:17,250 ‎-你根本不了解我 ‎-我當時在要糖果 1725 01:26:17,333 --> 01:26:20,583 ‎我信任妳,讓妳自己去參加派對 1726 01:26:21,541 --> 01:26:23,458 ‎我不管去哪裡都是自己去 1727 01:26:23,791 --> 01:26:25,833 ‎你從來都沒時間陪我 1728 01:26:25,916 --> 01:26:28,583 ‎-你只在意小孩 ‎-我們總要有一個人犧牲 1729 01:26:28,666 --> 01:26:29,750 ‎-華利 ‎-華倫 1730 01:26:30,500 --> 01:26:32,291 ‎-他噎到了 ‎-約克,快用哈姆立克 1731 01:26:32,375 --> 01:26:34,208 ‎-我不會做哈姆立克 ‎-怎麼會? 1732 01:26:34,291 --> 01:26:35,750 ‎讓開,我會做哈姆立克 1733 01:26:36,125 --> 01:26:38,791 ‎住手,他沒有噎到,是心臟病發 1734 01:26:38,875 --> 01:26:40,166 ‎誰快叫救護車 1735 01:26:40,250 --> 01:26:41,291 ‎我來處理 1736 01:26:47,833 --> 01:26:50,458 ‎-妳可以跟我們一起去 ‎-什麼?不要,我們沒在一起 1737 01:26:50,541 --> 01:26:53,416 ‎-蘇珊阿姨,快去 ‎-妳得跟我一起去 1738 01:26:53,500 --> 01:26:54,458 ‎-不要 ‎-要 1739 01:26:54,541 --> 01:26:55,583 ‎跟我去 1740 01:26:55,666 --> 01:26:56,500 ‎快去 1741 01:27:01,625 --> 01:27:04,375 ‎-有人會好好照顧他,我們走吧 ‎-不行 1742 01:27:04,458 --> 01:27:07,625 ‎妳不能離開 ‎妳的約會對象剛心臟病發 1743 01:27:07,708 --> 01:27:08,958 ‎我根本不認識他 1744 01:27:09,041 --> 01:27:10,750 ‎我還得把他的名字寫在手上呢 1745 01:27:11,166 --> 01:27:12,041 ‎妳看 1746 01:27:15,916 --> 01:27:17,291 ‎這都是我不好 1747 01:27:19,375 --> 01:27:21,000 ‎我有過好多次機會 1748 01:27:21,083 --> 01:27:24,041 ‎有好多男人愛過我 1749 01:27:26,083 --> 01:27:28,541 ‎只要他們太靠近,我就退縮了 1750 01:27:29,625 --> 01:27:31,041 ‎就這樣蹉跎到現在… 1751 01:27:32,750 --> 01:27:34,916 ‎49歲 1752 01:27:36,416 --> 01:27:37,541 ‎什麼都來不及了 1753 01:27:37,625 --> 01:27:38,916 ‎華勒斯路平斯基 1754 01:27:39,333 --> 01:27:41,375 ‎路平斯基先生的家屬在嗎? 1755 01:27:44,250 --> 01:27:45,125 ‎法魯克? 1756 01:27:47,666 --> 01:27:48,500 ‎蘇珊 1757 01:27:51,041 --> 01:27:52,625 ‎你感恩節還要工作 1758 01:27:55,041 --> 01:27:56,041 ‎妳是來陪… 1759 01:27:56,875 --> 01:27:58,000 ‎華勒斯路平斯基的嗎? 1760 01:28:00,083 --> 01:28:00,916 ‎不是 1761 01:28:02,875 --> 01:28:03,958 ‎確定嗎?因為… 1762 01:28:04,875 --> 01:28:06,375 ‎他是家族友人 1763 01:28:06,458 --> 01:28:07,833 ‎所以他的情況如何? 1764 01:28:09,708 --> 01:28:10,625 ‎輕微心臟病發 1765 01:28:11,125 --> 01:28:12,291 ‎但他不會有事的 1766 01:28:16,041 --> 01:28:17,250 ‎很高興見到妳 1767 01:28:27,958 --> 01:28:30,208 ‎-去跟他說說話吧 ‎-我辦不到,我們走吧 1768 01:28:30,916 --> 01:28:33,666 ‎不行,妳一定要開口,隨便說點… 1769 01:28:34,416 --> 01:28:35,250 ‎我搞砸了 1770 01:28:37,916 --> 01:28:39,625 ‎你是我認識最讓人傾心的男子 1771 01:28:40,291 --> 01:28:41,583 ‎所以妳跟我分手 1772 01:28:44,958 --> 01:28:46,875 ‎我會害怕,我這人就是這樣 1773 01:28:48,500 --> 01:28:50,750 ‎失去你是我這輩子最蠢的錯誤 1774 01:28:52,916 --> 01:28:55,041 ‎能否再給我一次機會? 1775 01:28:58,750 --> 01:28:59,750 ‎我無法… 1776 01:29:02,250 --> 01:29:03,416 ‎想像… 1777 01:29:04,583 --> 01:29:06,291 ‎幸福的生活少了妳 1778 01:29:08,541 --> 01:29:10,041 ‎-蘇珊 ‎-嗯 1779 01:29:10,500 --> 01:29:11,541 ‎我愛妳 1780 01:29:12,083 --> 01:29:13,375 ‎我愛你 1781 01:29:45,041 --> 01:29:47,541 ‎(五月五日節) 1782 01:30:12,166 --> 01:30:13,166 ‎再見,兄弟 1783 01:30:40,708 --> 01:30:43,708 ‎妳跟蹤他,卻沒跟他說到話? 1784 01:30:43,791 --> 01:30:49,083 ‎出現在他門外不算“跟蹤”,但沒關係 1785 01:30:49,166 --> 01:30:50,625 ‎我建議妳去做諮商 1786 01:30:50,708 --> 01:30:54,041 ‎我跟約克終於放下偽裝 ‎漸漸開始認識彼此 1787 01:30:54,125 --> 01:30:55,000 ‎不了,謝謝 1788 01:30:55,083 --> 01:30:56,375 ‎我喜歡我的偽裝 1789 01:31:10,791 --> 01:31:12,708 ‎這是命中注定,快去追他 1790 01:31:12,791 --> 01:31:13,958 ‎這才不是命中注定 1791 01:31:14,041 --> 01:31:16,291 ‎這傢伙根本就以賣場為家 1792 01:31:17,250 --> 01:31:18,875 ‎好,我們去買禮物吧 1793 01:31:19,583 --> 01:31:20,666 ‎絲隆阿姨 1794 01:31:20,750 --> 01:31:22,333 ‎生命給妳時間做決定 1795 01:31:24,958 --> 01:31:26,125 ‎別搞砸了 1796 01:31:32,500 --> 01:31:33,625 ‎傑克森 1797 01:31:34,416 --> 01:31:37,208 ‎不好意思,先生,借過一下,傑克森 1798 01:31:38,125 --> 01:31:39,375 ‎傑克森,借過 1799 01:31:41,333 --> 01:31:44,416 ‎不好意思,抱歉 ‎我要找那個人,借過 1800 01:31:45,208 --> 01:31:46,083 ‎傑克森 1801 01:31:47,750 --> 01:31:48,833 ‎傑克森 1802 01:31:50,791 --> 01:31:51,708 ‎傑克森 1803 01:31:56,708 --> 01:31:57,958 ‎傑克森 1804 01:31:59,750 --> 01:32:00,750 ‎抱歉 1805 01:32:01,666 --> 01:32:02,958 ‎借過 1806 01:32:03,041 --> 01:32:04,458 ‎借過一下,傑克森 1807 01:32:10,125 --> 01:32:11,250 ‎借過一下,不好意思 1808 01:32:11,333 --> 01:32:12,541 ‎-傑克森 ‎-女士 1809 01:32:13,875 --> 01:32:16,291 ‎傑克森 1810 01:32:18,708 --> 01:32:20,708 ‎-傑克森 ‎-傑克森 1811 01:32:20,791 --> 01:32:22,708 ‎-傑克森 ‎-傑克森 1812 01:32:22,791 --> 01:32:25,250 ‎傑克森 1813 01:32:30,958 --> 01:32:31,791 ‎嗨 1814 01:32:35,166 --> 01:32:36,166 ‎我只是… 1815 01:32:39,208 --> 01:32:40,208 ‎謝謝 1816 01:32:43,500 --> 01:32:44,875 ‎我只是想說我搞砸了 1817 01:32:46,500 --> 01:32:47,791 ‎老天 1818 01:32:48,333 --> 01:32:49,958 ‎抱歉,小朋友 1819 01:32:50,791 --> 01:32:52,000 ‎在家不要學 1820 01:32:56,125 --> 01:32:57,125 ‎好 1821 01:32:58,458 --> 01:32:59,625 ‎我想說的是… 1822 01:33:00,583 --> 01:33:01,625 ‎是… 1823 01:33:02,041 --> 01:33:03,750 ‎這裡好熱 1824 01:33:05,208 --> 01:33:06,250 ‎好熱 1825 01:33:07,125 --> 01:33:08,000 ‎好 1826 01:33:08,708 --> 01:33:10,541 ‎聽著,我要說的… 1827 01:33:11,750 --> 01:33:14,791 ‎是過去一年 ‎我跟你在一起度過的開心時光 1828 01:33:14,875 --> 01:33:17,416 ‎比跟我所有窩囊廢前男友 ‎加總起來還多 1829 01:33:21,416 --> 01:33:22,458 ‎你是對的 1830 01:33:24,208 --> 01:33:25,708 ‎我確實對你有好感 1831 01:33:32,083 --> 01:33:32,916 ‎而我卻搞… 1832 01:33:35,250 --> 01:33:36,750 ‎毀了這一切 1833 01:33:39,375 --> 01:33:40,625 ‎因為我很怕 1834 01:33:42,250 --> 01:33:43,083 ‎對 1835 01:33:43,166 --> 01:33:44,541 ‎讓你離開 1836 01:33:44,875 --> 01:33:47,416 ‎是我這輩子犯下最大的過錯 1837 01:33:52,041 --> 01:33:53,791 ‎我好想你 1838 01:33:58,041 --> 01:34:00,875 ‎想你想到連煙都戒了 1839 01:34:01,458 --> 01:34:04,500 ‎糖果只能給我輕微的慰藉 1840 01:34:05,958 --> 01:34:08,458 ‎你毀了我所有的壞習慣 1841 01:34:14,708 --> 01:34:17,083 ‎我以為自己只想要節日情人 1842 01:34:19,166 --> 01:34:20,666 ‎但事實上… 1843 01:34:22,125 --> 01:34:23,333 ‎我只想要你 1844 01:34:24,666 --> 01:34:26,000 ‎跟我度過所有的節日 1845 01:34:26,791 --> 01:34:28,000 ‎還有週末 1846 01:34:28,625 --> 01:34:30,666 ‎週間也在一起的話會更好 1847 01:34:34,958 --> 01:34:37,250 ‎我知道自己可能來不及了 1848 01:34:37,333 --> 01:34:40,000 ‎但說真的 1849 01:34:42,708 --> 01:34:45,208 ‎我只想跟你一起熬過化療 1850 01:34:49,000 --> 01:34:51,250 ‎不要誤會,我沒事 1851 01:34:51,666 --> 01:34:52,833 ‎這說來話長 1852 01:34:58,750 --> 01:35:00,541 ‎如果能讓你有所安慰的話 1853 01:35:01,875 --> 01:35:04,541 ‎這真的是我這輩子最慘的感恩節 1854 01:35:10,416 --> 01:35:12,375 ‎對了,那是我的開場白 1855 01:35:23,666 --> 01:35:24,750 ‎不了 1856 01:35:51,958 --> 01:35:53,416 ‎剛才那段話很荒唐 1857 01:36:08,333 --> 01:36:10,125 ‎-約除夕夜呢? ‎-好 1858 01:36:34,208 --> 01:36:36,041 ‎(歡迎蒞臨美不勝收的拉斯維加斯) 1859 01:36:36,125 --> 01:36:37,958 ‎(剛再婚) 1860 01:37:09,791 --> 01:37:12,916 ‎(本片終) 1861 01:43:07,666 --> 01:43:09,666 ‎字幕翻譯:伍采貞