1
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,324
¢Ü Turn it up! ¢Ü

2
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:58,141
¢Ü Turn up the radio ¢Ü

3
00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:02,937
¢Ü I need the music
Give me some more ¢Ü

4
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,565
Come on, Boots,
you have three minutes left.

5
00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:08,735
You can do this.
You came to me, remember?

6
00:01:08,819 --> 00:01:10,987
It's not about losing weight.
It's about a lifestyle change.

7
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:20,496
Nick, you have a customer.

8
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:22,623
Like we practiced.

9
00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:24,542
Right away, Terry.

10
00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:29,172
'Sup, dawg?

11
00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,633
Oh. Ha! Funny.

12
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:33,843
It's the name of the store.

13
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,136
What can I do for you, man?

14
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:38,097
Bono has been doing
this for three days.

15
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,641
It's fucking
disgusting.

16
00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:41,726
Bring him up here.

17
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,436
Bono, Bono, come.

18
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,520
Bono, up!

19
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,272
Don't yell at him like that.

20
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:48,649
Okay. Okay. Cool.
You're gonna...

21
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,568
I might just look...

22
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:58,409
Do I know you?

23
00:01:58,535 --> 00:01:59,744
I know you.

24
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:01,746
You're the singer
from Chocolate Lipstick.

25
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,539
You guys used to play
at the Jam Shack on Friday nights.

26
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,041
Damn!
You remember that?

27
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,209
You were so good.
Yeah.

28
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,543
Oh, my God,
you still singing?

29
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:10,129
Nah. That was
a long time ago.

30
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:12,465
Wow! What are you
doing now?

31
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,260
You get shit
out of dogs' asses.

32
00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,221
That's great.

33
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,181
You own a BMW?

34
00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,475
Yeah, can you tell?

35
00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,855
Good boy.

36
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,691
<i>Adam, it's Lou.
Don't hang up, okay?</i>

37
00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:32,735
<i>It's not about money.
It's about making money.</i>

38
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,403
<i>You and me, buddy.</i>

39
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,822
<i>Hi, it's me.</i>

40
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,825
<i>So, I did everything according
to your stupid fucking plan.</i>

41
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,660
<i>I took everything
with the yellow stickers</i>

42
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:43,871
<i>and I left you everything with
the red stickers.</i>

43
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:47,208
<i>There was some stuff in your closet
with no stickers,</i>

44
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,669
<i>so I threw that in a pile and burned it
in the backyard.</i>

45
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,672
<i>Seemed like the right thing to do.</i>

46
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:55,007
<i>And thank you for claiming
that empty plastic bottle.</i>

47
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:57,802
<i>I was prepared to
fight you on that one.</i>

48
00:02:58,262 --> 00:03:00,847
<i>Anyway, I left you
something on the counter.</i>

49
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,599
<i>It's from the heart.</i>

50
00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:08,646
<i>Oh, and one last thing.
Um...</i>

51
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:12,608
<i>The TV had a red sticker on it,
but I took it anyway.</i>

52
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,611
<i>Bye.</i>

53
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,447
Just keeping
my head down.

54
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:26,038
Not getting shivved today.
Let's knock these reps out.
Mmm! Mmm!

55
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,962
Turn on a light, Jake.
Open a window.

56
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,756
Go outdoors.
Jesus Christ!

57
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,466
Why don't you get out of the
house this weekend, huh?

58
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,636
What should I do out of the house,
Uncle Adam?

59
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:43,055
I don't know. Anything
that corresponds with reality.

60
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,558
Apply for a job.
Maybe try to go
to college.

61
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,268
I don't know.
That all sounds kind of overrated.

62
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,895
You don't like it,
you can move back in with your mom.

63
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:51,022
No, I can't actually.
She moved in with her new boyfriend.

64
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,857
I will not be
anywhere near that.

65
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,025
She moved in with him?

66
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,860
Yeah, the taxidermist.

67
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,863
The taxidermist is
stuffing my mother.

68
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,031
Ugh! Kelly.

69
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:02,450
She's your sister. You should call her
once in a while. Check in.

70
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,452
Well, maybe she should check in with me.
Ever think of that?

71
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,870
Yeah.
That's interesting.

72
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,622
Listen, I've got a big court date
in a few minutes.

73
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,582
- If I miss it, I'm kind of screwed.
- Why do you waste your time

74
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,042
with that Second Life bullshit?

75
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,294
Look at you, you're still in jail.
You were in jail last week.

76
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,463
Yeah. I'm a prisoner.
It's called "doing hard time."

77
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,131
Can't you be like
a warrior or a shaman

78
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,424
or an Orc or some shit
like that?

79
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,593
No, no. In life,
you make choices,

80
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,428
and if you screw up
you have to pay
for those choices.

81
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,847
You're 20 years old,
you haven't made an important
choice in your life.

82
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,600
What are you mad about?
What is this?

83
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,937
I don't know if you noticed,
but Lily moved out.

84
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,855
Is that what all
the shuffling was?

85
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,023
Uh-huh.

86
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,359
What did you do?

87
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,820
I didn't do anything.

88
00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,173
No fucking way!

89
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:08,265
¢Ü You know I'm a dreamer ¢Ü

90
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:12,144
¢Ü But my heart's of gold ¢Ü

91
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:15,356
¢Ü I had to run away high ¢Ü

92
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:20,444
¢Ü So I wouldn't come home low
Just when things went... ¢Ü

93
00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:29,203
¢Ü ...song And you'll never
be left all alone ¢Ü

94
00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:36,585
¢Ü I'm on my way ¢Ü

95
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:40,172
¢Ü Home sweet home ¢Ü

96
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:46,012
¢Ü Tonight, tonight
I'm on my way ¢Ü

97
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:49,849
¢Ü Home sweet home ¢Ü

98
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:52,562
<i>Even among the gentle
prairie squirrels,</i>

99
00:05:52,572 --> 00:05:56,397
<i>The mate-less male
is subjected to a humiliating ritual.</i>

100
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,776
Hello.

101
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:02,987
What?

102
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,658
Fuck!

103
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,496
Hey. Adam.

104
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,332
- What's happening, man?
- Hey.

105
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:16,792
You all right?

106
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,421
- Hi, Courtney.
- Hey, how you doing?

107
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,173
- Nice to see you.
- You, too.

108
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,883
- Yeah.
- Not here.

109
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,384
Long time.

110
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,261
Yeah. You know...

111
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,805
Work's been crazy and...

112
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,058
- I know.
- I called a couple of times.

113
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:33,225
Yeah. Yeah.

114
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,436
Very, very busy.

115
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,938
You think this is
a real situation

116
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:40,691
or just one of his
bullshit episodes?

117
00:06:40,776 --> 00:06:42,276
I don't know.

118
00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:43,694
You never know with Lou.

119
00:06:43,779 --> 00:06:45,905
Well, hey, Adam,
how's your girlfriend?

120
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:47,573
Oh, really bad.

121
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,283
Okay.

122
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:52,870
Happy times.

123
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,831
Hi, folks.
I'm Dr. Jeff.
Lou's resting.

124
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,918
He's denying that it was a suicide
attempt and medically he's stable,

125
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,544
so legally we can't
keep him here.

126
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,922
But we do think that he should
be monitored for a few days.

127
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,590
Does he have any family?

128
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,175
Lou's family all
kind of hate him.

129
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:09,178
Okay. Well, then I guess it's up
to you guys, his friends.

130
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,347
You are his friends, right?

131
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:14,975
It's like that friend
who's the asshole.

132
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,685
But he's our asshole,
you know?

133
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:17,978
Right.

134
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:19,522
Yeah.

135
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,861
<i>Dr. Jefferies to radiology.</i>

136
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,739
Lou.
Why would he do this?

137
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:31,367
Why? I mean,
make a list.

138
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,410
He's an alcoholic,
he's divorced.

139
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,412
Wife ran off with
that Jamaican guy.

140
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,374
He's failed at every jive-ass
money hustle he's ever tried.

141
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,042
He's in
a mountain of debt.

142
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,168
He hates his mother.

143
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:42,753
He hates himself.
He hates everybody.

144
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:44,088
He has erectile dysfunction.

145
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,339
He's got halitosis.

146
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:46,924
He's got
that runt ball.

147
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,008
Huh.

148
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,553
He said one of his balls
was shriveled up...

149
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:51,804
Oh, yeah.

150
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,430
...like a spoiled grape.

151
00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:55,891
Wasn't it that
quarterback on the Bears

152
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,060
who had his ball crushed
on the field. Right?

153
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,645
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

154
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,481
- Right, right.
- '82? Yeah, yeah.

155
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:03,732
He came back
from that, though.

156
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:04,859
Strong as ever.

157
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:05,943
Fuck yeah.

158
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:07,194
But I don't know about Lou.

159
00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:08,821
- It's just like...
- No.

160
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,824
It's just like
an accumulation of punishment.

161
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:12,908
Fuck you guys.

162
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:13,993
- Oh!
- Hey!

163
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,995
There he is. Hey.

164
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:18,581
I can fucking hear everything
you're saying, all right?

165
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,083
Look who's awake.
What's up, man?

166
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,627
- Hey.
- Hey, man.

167
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:24,920
What's up?

168
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,840
You look just
like my friend Nick.

169
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,009
And you look
like my friend Adam.

170
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,343
But you wouldn't be
those guys because

171
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,595
I've been calling
and calling them,

172
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,679
and they haven't
returned my calls.

173
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,431
So, listen, Violator.

174
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,684
Me and Nick
got a little surprise
for you.

175
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,520
Something special
that the three of us can do.

176
00:08:41,605 --> 00:08:42,897
Come on. You guys.

177
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,273
- Are you curious?
- No!

178
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,692
I didn't fucking try
and kill myself.

179
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:49,486
If I wanted to kill myself,
I'd fucking kill myself.

180
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:50,738
I'd be awesome at it.

181
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,531
A shotgun to the dick.

182
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,366
I'm glad you didn't do it.

183
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,869
It's good to see
you guys, anyway.

184
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:02,041
So, just out of curiosity,
what's the surprise?

185
00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,667
Tell him.

186
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,712
Ko-di-ak...

187
00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:08,380
...Valley.

188
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,548
No fucking way!

189
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:10,633
- Yes, sir.
- Yeah.

190
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,676
Fucking K-Vals?
Holy shit!

191
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,136
Yes, sir. Bang!

192
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,056
We fucking ski, right?
We fucking rage.

193
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,349
Chimney Point
at the end of the night

194
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:21,936
with a bottle of scotch
to wash it all down. Oh!

195
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,813
And you guys are paying
for the whole thing?

196
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,482
- Sure.
- Yep.

197
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,566
Let's go tonight.

198
00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:28,651
We go tomorrow.

199
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:29,735
Let's go now.
Let's go now.

200
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,029
I just got to get rid of this thing.
It's really uncomfortable.

201
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,280
You should wait
for the nurse or something.

202
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,782
I got it. I got it.

203
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:35,866
- Hold on, Lou.
- No, no, no, no.

204
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,369
Let somebody
do that for you.

205
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,379
- Oh, shit.
- God.

206
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:49,505
Did I get that on you?

207
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,798
- Yes, you did.
- Damn it!

208
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:53,509
It's only pee.
Relax, it's only pee.

209
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,431
There's Lou.

210
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:00,808
Good,
he's drinking already.

211
00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,351
Look at this shit.

212
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,687
Do you remember when I was 12
and he tried to bite me?

213
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:07,356
Yeah, but he...
You had that coming.

214
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:10,025
- Hey, Violator.
- Lou.

215
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,027
What the fuck
is he doing here?

216
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,279
It's nice to
see you, too, Lou.

217
00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:16,031
"Nice to see you, too, Lou."
Fuck you, Jacob.

218
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,950
You suck and you know it.

219
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:20,286
You just ruined
my fucking weekend.

220
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:33,299
Hey, Lily will come back.
Trust me.

221
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,467
- No, she won't.
- No, she won't.

222
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:36,844
- No, she won't.
- No, she won't.

223
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:38,679
She basically thinks
I'm an asshole, you know?

224
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,681
Like a completely self-absorbed,
delusional...

225
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,433
- She's got a point.
- ...narcissistic.

226
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,976
- Fuck you.
- You're better off.

227
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,228
Take my word for it.
Look at me.

228
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,564
Fuck wives, man.
Fuck kids.

229
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,983
Lock it down or they will take
everything from you.

230
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:55,571
God damn it!
Who the fuck are you texting with?

231
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,739
Just a friend of mine.

232
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,574
Male or fucking female?

233
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,618
For your information,
I've had a lot of girlfriends.

234
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:02,703
Hot ones.

235
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,456
You have had lots
of boyfriends. Gay ones.

236
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,837
Hey, hey, hey,
check this out.

237
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,839
I brought a regulation bar
for tubbing tonight.

238
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:14,965
Nice.

239
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:18,093
I've got vodka,
fucking Tequilles O'Neals.

240
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:21,221
You guys are gonna love this.
Check this out.

241
00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,473
Chernobly.

242
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:23,932
It's like
the Russian Red Bull.

243
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,559
It's got shit in it
that's not even legal here.

244
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,061
Like what shit?

245
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,854
How the fuck am I
supposed to know, dude?

246
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,606
But it's illegal.

247
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,940
Hey, why didn't we
just go to Pinnacle?

248
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,567
It would have taken,
like, half the time.

249
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,569
You wanna go
to Kodiak Valley,
trust me.

250
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:36,904
You're at
the right age for it.

251
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:38,238
Really?

252
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:41,241
Yeah. Nobody gets carded
and everybody gets laid.

253
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:45,871
- K-Val! K-Val! K-Val!
- K-Val! K-Val! K-Val!

254
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,664
Oh, shit! K-Val!

255
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,422
This? This is
the coolest town ever?

256
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,300
Fuck!
That used to be Papa Enzo's.

257
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:02,096
I broke up with
Jenny Stedmeyer there.

258
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,430
What made you break
up with her, again?

259
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,974
I don't know.
We swapped virginities junior year.

260
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:07,684
All we did was
listen to records and have sex.

261
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,396
And she was epic, I mean she was...
She was epic.

262
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:11,563
Yeah, man.
She was hot.

263
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,482
And then when I broke up
with her, she was so mad,

264
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,818
she practically stabbed me
in the eye with a fork.

265
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,945
Actually, she did stab me
in the eye with a fork.

266
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:19,196
She was a one-percenter, man.

267
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,280
Yeah.

268
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:21,698
All downhill from there.

269
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:24,952
That was a big one.
First love.

270
00:12:25,036 --> 00:12:26,286
The one that got away.

271
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,330
The great white buffalo.

272
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:29,581
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

273
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,166
The great what?

274
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,043
Great white buffalo.

275
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:35,129
Why are you guys
whispering?

276
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,131
Great white buffalo.

277
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:39,842
That was really helpful,
you guys. Thank you.

278
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,642
Look at this place.

279
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,436
I'm gonna make
a prediction right now.

280
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,146
One of us is gonna
start writing a novel,

281
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,772
and then we all
get snowed in,

282
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:56,358
and then Lou's gonna
ax murder all of us.

283
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,781
Motherfuck.

284
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,408
What's that smell?

285
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:05,451
Fucking cats.

286
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:09,496
Kind of a lot of cats.
This sucks.

287
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:10,873
- Hi.
- Hi.

288
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,749
You got a reservation

289
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:14,585
For Webber-Agnew?

290
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:16,128
Sorry. What was that
name again?

291
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:18,755
Webber-Agnew.
Webber and Agnew.

292
00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,757
I got a "Nick Webber-Agnew."

293
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:23,469
I'm sorry, excuse me. What?
What did you just say?

294
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:24,595
Webber-Agnew?

295
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,889
Webber-fucking-Agnew?

296
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,975
You took your wife's last name?
You're a fucking hyphenate?

297
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:32,227
A lot of dudes are doing it.
It's progressive.

298
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,979
No. No dudes
are doing it.

299
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,731
You look like a progressive guy.
Is that progressive?

300
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,399
- Would you do that? No.
- No.

301
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,026
And he has a goatee.

302
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,490
Does this guy seem a little
imbalanced to you?

303
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:45,574
No. Come on.

304
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:46,909
He's right there.
Shut up.

305
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,370
Let me give you
a hand with that.

306
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:51,622
Hey!

307
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:54,416
I am not going
to tell you again!

308
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:58,962
I can handle it.

309
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,173
This guy's
a fucking dick.

310
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,383
- Shh. He's disabled.
- He can hear you.

311
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,594
So what? He's exempt from
common fucking courtesy

312
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,095
'cause he can't start
a round of applause?

313
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:10,098
He's gotta jerk
off one-handed?

314
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,226
I mean, I certainly
don't take my hands

315
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,977
and I put them together
and oil them up...

316
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:17,022
Hey, 420. Our old room.
Check it out.

317
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:19,983
- That's okay man.
- Oh! Those are mine.

318
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,735
I'll just get those.

319
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:32,621
This is the part where you tip
the guy that helped you out.

320
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:35,332
I'm not the guy that...

321
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,583
Nick, pay the man
something.

322
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:37,876
I got it.
Don't worry.

323
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,127
This place
looks like shit!

324
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,338
What happened
to that guy?

325
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:44,508
Check this shit out.
It's still there.

326
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:47,135
Adam sucks cocks 'n' dicks.

327
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,346
It's your best work.

328
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:50,806
Fucking burned you.

329
00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:52,724
Burned!

330
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:53,892
Hey, guys,
come take a look at this.

331
00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:55,894
We got a hot tub.

332
00:14:57,981 --> 00:14:59,773
- Sweet Jesus!
- Poor little fella.

333
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,984
This is obviously
unacceptable, right?

334
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,820
We call downstairs,
get somebody to fix this?

335
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,029
Is anybody else hungry?

336
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,492
A little school spirit
this time, huh?

337
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,452
- We're in, man.
- Just play it like you fucking mean it.

338
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,371
- Like that.
- Yeah.

339
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:19,376
Yes, I would like to get a hooker
to fuck me and my friends.

340
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:22,296
What? Adam,
I'm not doing that.

341
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:23,547
Whatever, semantics.

342
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:27,593
I want an escort to escort
our penises into her vagina.

343
00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:30,887
I want the girl
in the picture, too.

344
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:33,265
- No tomfoolery.
- Wake her up, I don't care.

345
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,558
Will you listen to him?

346
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:35,809
Does she do four?

347
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,603
What about three?

348
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:39,271
- Okay. Jacob, you're out.
- Okay. Good.

349
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:40,939
I need $3,000.

350
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:42,024
I'm not in.
I'm married.

351
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:45,360
- Adam, I need $2,000. Me and you, buddy.
- Come on.

352
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,570
I'm out there, Violator.

353
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:48,113
Can I call you back, sir?

354
00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,282
- Okay. Thank you. Bye.
- Sir?

355
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,743
Let's do something fun.
Let's create a memory, huh?

356
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:55,412
Let's get some cocaine
and break into a school.

357
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:58,123
Or steal a cop car
or some shit, huh?

358
00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,791
- Do you have Ritalin?
- No.

359
00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:03,712
Don't fucking lie to me.
Every one of you people have Ritalin.

360
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:04,838
No, I don't.

361
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:06,506
I'm sorry.
You probably do have Ritalin.

362
00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:07,924
I have some Ativan,
but it's different.

363
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,509
- Let's stick it up our asses.
- Just give it to him.

364
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,011
No. It's not
a suppository.

365
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:13,805
It doesn't matter.
You crush it, you put it
in a warm paper towel,

366
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:16,475
run it under warm some water and you
stick it right up your ass. That works.

367
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:17,934
You put the paper towel
up your ass, too?

368
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,394
- You crush up the...
- Hey, I got an idea,

369
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,854
- why don't we just play quarters?
- What?

370
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:23,649
I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do.
I'm getting really sad.

371
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:25,150
You know what
I'm talking about?

372
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:27,486
I'm gonna go to the bathroom and
be alone with my own thoughts.

373
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:28,987
Who knows what's
gonna happen up there.

374
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:30,072
Who knows
what's gonna happen.

375
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,698
You better plan
something fun.

376
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,160
Jesus!

377
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,371
Pussies.
I'm going dancing.

378
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,790
I don't know, man.
Maybe coming here was a bad idea.

379
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:43,669
Yeah.
If he kills himself,
can we go home?

380
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,087
Hard to believe
this is the very room

381
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,589
we had some of
the best weekends of our lives.

382
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,050
Really?
In this room right here?

383
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,594
How?

384
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,889
We were young. We had momentum.
We were winning.

385
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,017
We were best friends.

386
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:00,519
What do you mean,
"were" best friends?

387
00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:03,355
You know what I mean, man.
Everybody seemed to care more.

388
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,857
Everything seemed
to matter more back then.

389
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,234
Whatever.

390
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,664
Check it out.
They must have fixed it.

391
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:22,916
Come on!

392
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,544
- How's the water, Violator?
- Oh, man.

393
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:28,630
You guys gotta get in here.
It's gonna fucking change you.

394
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,257
Wait, why are you naked?

395
00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,383
You're all getting naked?

396
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,676
Yep.

397
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:33,802
You don't think
it's a little weird,

398
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,053
a bunch of guys
just piling up

399
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,388
in a big bathtub
together, naked?

400
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,765
Are you afraid
that some of these
people might see you?

401
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:40,225
I'm sorry.
If I'm being honest,

402
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:43,603
I'm not totally comfortable being around
a bunch of other naked dudes.

403
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,188
It's called
male bonding, okay?

404
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,524
Haven't you even
seen Wild Hogs?

405
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:48,984
<i>Fine, get us some snacks.</i>

406
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,694
You know what? Fuck it.

407
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,530
I'm leaving
my underwear on.

408
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,449
Yeah. Yeah. Very nice.
Shut up!

409
00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,245
Damn, it's good to be here
with you all again, man.

410
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:02,289
- It's good to be back here with you guys.
- Yep.

411
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:03,915
I want to toast
to the good times.

412
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,960
And you, too, young blood.
Come on in, here.

413
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:09,713
Yeah!

414
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,175
¢Ü This style seems wild ¢Ü

415
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,093
¢Ü Wait before you treat me
like a stepchild ¢Ü

416
00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:16,970
¢Ü Let me tell you why
they got me on file ¢Ü

417
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:18,430
¢Ü 'Cause I give you
what you lack ¢Ü

418
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:21,433
¢Ü Come right and exact
I stand accused of doing harm ¢Ü

419
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:22,934
¢Ü 'Cause I'm louder than a bomb ¢Ü

420
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,812
¢Ü Come on
Come on, louder ¢Ü

421
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,272
¢Ü Come on
Come on ¢Ü

422
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:28,857
- Go, Violator!
- I'm gonna throw up.

423
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,942
Snap out of it!
Out the tub! Out the tub!

424
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,486
I'm good. I'm good.
I'm good.

425
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:37,199
¢Ü I am a rock hard trooper
To the bone, the bone, the bone ¢Ü

426
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,576
¢Ü Full grown
Consider me stone ¢Ü

427
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,953
¢Ü Once again and
I say it for you to know ¢Ü

428
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:44,039
¢Ü The troop is always ready
I yell "Geronimo" ¢Ü

429
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,166
¢Ü Your CIA,
you see I ain't kiddin' ¢Ü

430
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,293
¢Ü Both King and X They got rid of both ¢Ü

431
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:53,715
¢Ü And not the braggin'
or boastin' and plus ¢Ü

432
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,342
¢Ü It ain't no secret why
they're tappin' my phone ¢Ü

433
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,135
¢Ü Although I can't keep it a secret ¢Ü

434
00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:58,887
¢Ü So I decided to kick it, yo ¢Ü

435
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,096
¢Ü And yes it weighs a ton ¢Ü

436
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,139
¢Ü I say it once again ¢Ü

437
00:19:01,224 --> 00:19:03,099
¢Ü Tappin' my phone
They never leave me alone ¢Ü

438
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,561
¢Ü 'Cause I'm louder than a bomb ¢Ü

439
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,747
Hey, little buddy.

440
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:35,799
Dude.

441
00:19:38,553 --> 00:19:40,637
Where did the squirrel go?

442
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,015
Yeah. Yeah!

443
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,934
- This is the black diamond?
- Shit.

444
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:47,227
- Terrifying.
- That's all you got?

445
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,187
- I don't remember this.
- What do you think, boys?

446
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:50,355
Tips down.

447
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,440
Tips fucking down,
right away.

448
00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:53,900
Let's ride.

449
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,290
I feel 19 again!

450
00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,587
What is that?

451
00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:15,213
Stop it, Lou.

452
00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:16,882
Stop it, Lou!

453
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,302
Whoo!

454
00:20:22,305 --> 00:20:23,263
Coming through!

455
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:24,890
You goddamn kids!

456
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,104
- Slow down!
- Hey!

457
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,523
Yard sale, bitches!

458
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:57,464
Fuck!

459
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:01,760
We dead.

460
00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:04,429
Are you guys alive?
Holy fuck.

461
00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:08,975
By all counts we should be
pretty fucked up right now, but I...

462
00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:10,435
I kind of feel great.

463
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:11,895
I feel crazy right now.

464
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:13,563
I feel fantastic!

465
00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:16,316
I wanna fuck something!

466
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:21,613
There they are.

467
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:23,114
I see it, Chaz. Thanks.

468
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,743
What is that
one plank thing
that guy's got?

469
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:29,496
I don't care.
It's going up his ass.

470
00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:33,667
Way to go, rookie!

471
00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:35,794
Wow! Nice.

472
00:21:36,379 --> 00:21:37,921
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa...

473
00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:42,717
Those are the kind of ski shenanigans
I don't allow on my mountain.

474
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:44,719
Yeah. Come on, guys.

475
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:47,055
What are you
looking at, Nancy?

476
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,723
No. I mean...

477
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:53,228
<i>Hey, look, it's the douche bag
from Karate Kid III.</i>

478
00:21:57,108 --> 00:21:58,775
I know that guy.

479
00:22:21,132 --> 00:22:22,215
Hey, guys.

480
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:24,884
Is there some kind of weird retro
thing going on this weekend?

481
00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:26,261
Can't get any bars.

482
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:28,763
Morty!
Yeah, it's Chuck.

483
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:31,016
You're never gonna
believe where I'm calling you from, man.

484
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:34,269
I'm on a mountain
on my phone! Yeah.

485
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:37,981
Yeah, well, a bet's a bet.
I want my $2.

486
00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:45,822
I'm telling you,
something weird is going on.

487
00:22:45,906 --> 00:22:47,907
<i>Demand your MTV.</i>

488
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:50,869
<i>I want my MTV.</i>

489
00:22:52,747 --> 00:22:58,710
¢Ü S-A-F-E-T-Y ¢Ü

490
00:22:58,961 --> 00:23:01,629
¢Ü Safe, dance! ¢Ü

491
00:23:06,343 --> 00:23:08,136
I love your hair.

492
00:23:10,264 --> 00:23:11,765
<i>I have a question.</i>

493
00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:13,933
<i>...can still
tell me that's true.</i>

494
00:23:14,018 --> 00:23:17,353
<i>But the facts and the evidence
tell me it is...</i>

495
00:23:27,198 --> 00:23:28,740
Dude is rocking
a cassette player.

496
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:30,700
Just relax.
I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation

497
00:23:30,826 --> 00:23:32,118
- for all this shit.
- Don't fucking tell me to relax.

498
00:23:32,203 --> 00:23:33,536
I said relax
for a minute.

499
00:23:33,621 --> 00:23:35,038
Leg warmers?

500
00:23:35,289 --> 00:23:36,664
Jheri curl?

501
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:38,124
"Where's the beef?"

502
00:23:38,209 --> 00:23:41,336
Excuse me, miss,
what color is Michael Jackson?

503
00:23:42,004 --> 00:23:43,254
Black.

504
00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:50,720
Hold on! Sorry.
Excuse me. Sorry.

505
00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:53,389
Nick, come on, man!
Nick! Nick!

506
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:55,642
Who the fuck is that?

507
00:23:55,726 --> 00:23:56,976
That's probably
Ashton Kolchak right now

508
00:23:57,061 --> 00:23:59,145
telling us we've been
punked or whatever.

509
00:23:59,230 --> 00:24:01,022
- Okay.
- Come on. Come on.

510
00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:07,779
Hey. Hey, guys.
I've got your luggage.

511
00:24:08,322 --> 00:24:10,532
He's got both arms.
Get him!

512
00:24:14,578 --> 00:24:16,454
- What?
- Check his arm.

513
00:24:16,539 --> 00:24:18,581
- Are you raping?
- Wait! Hold on! Are we raping him?

514
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:19,833
Nobody's raping anybody!

515
00:24:19,917 --> 00:24:21,626
Where's your missing arm,
motherfucker?

516
00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:24,003
Hey! God!
That's my arm!

517
00:24:24,088 --> 00:24:25,588
- It's fake!
- It's real!

518
00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:28,174
It's got freckles on it
and shit!

519
00:24:36,934 --> 00:24:38,810
Do I really got to be
the asshole that says

520
00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:41,396
we got in this thing
and went back in time?

521
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,732
It must be some kind of
hot tub time machine.

522
00:24:47,736 --> 00:24:49,195
Wow, my old stuff.

523
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:50,655
Look at this shit, man.

524
00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:51,823
You have a bong?

525
00:24:51,907 --> 00:24:52,991
I did.

526
00:24:53,075 --> 00:24:55,326
"Eddie Lives."
This shirt got me so much fucking pussy.

527
00:24:55,411 --> 00:24:56,578
You wanna see
what got a lot of pussy?

528
00:24:56,662 --> 00:24:57,745
What's the tape recorder for?

529
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:58,955
- Recording tape.
- I gotta take a piss.

530
00:24:59,081 --> 00:25:00,498
- This jacket right here, baby.
- Holy fuck!

531
00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:01,875
What are you,
Hunter S. Thompson?

532
00:25:01,959 --> 00:25:03,960
- I thought I was.
- Is that coke?

533
00:25:04,044 --> 00:25:05,962
What the fuck you think it is?
Baby powder?

534
00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:07,130
Wait. How is this happening?

535
00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:10,175
Can we talk about this
for a minute?

536
00:25:14,096 --> 00:25:17,473
Holy fuck! Winterfest '86.
We were here, man.

537
00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:18,933
- Guys.
- We are here.

538
00:25:19,018 --> 00:25:20,101
What if we run into ourselves?

539
00:25:20,186 --> 00:25:21,227
Guys!

540
00:25:21,312 --> 00:25:24,522
We see ourselves and we blow up
and explode or some shit.

541
00:25:24,607 --> 00:25:25,690
Get in here!

542
00:25:25,774 --> 00:25:26,941
Didn't you all fucking see Timecop?

543
00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:28,943
God damn it!
Get the fuck in here right now!

544
00:25:29,028 --> 00:25:30,904
Nobody wants to see
your giant shit, Lou.

545
00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:32,447
What, man?

546
00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:46,419
Yeah, we're not gonna
run into ourselves.

547
00:25:46,503 --> 00:25:47,629
We are ourselves.

548
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:50,340
Why are we in our young bodies
and you in your regular body?

549
00:25:50,424 --> 00:25:51,382
I don't know.

550
00:25:51,467 --> 00:25:52,634
Shouldn't you be invisible?

551
00:25:52,718 --> 00:25:54,302
Or swimming around
some guy's ball sack?

552
00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:57,555
I know.
Because you guys exist here and I don't.

553
00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:00,725
Hey, why are you flickering?

554
00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:02,227
- What?
- What? What? Who flickered?

555
00:26:02,311 --> 00:26:04,103
- He did.
- He's flickering.

556
00:26:04,188 --> 00:26:05,563
I need you to touch
my arm or something

557
00:26:05,648 --> 00:26:06,731
to see if I'm
still real, okay?

558
00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:09,817
Just see if you can put
your hand through me.

559
00:26:12,363 --> 00:26:13,529
Okay.

560
00:26:13,948 --> 00:26:15,198
That's good.

561
00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:19,035
I'm physically still here.
That's good, I think.

562
00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:22,330
You look like Kid 'N Play.

563
00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:24,540
That's actually two people.

564
00:26:27,169 --> 00:26:28,878
I knew this trip
was a bad idea.

565
00:26:28,963 --> 00:26:31,422
Every time I hang out with you,
man, it's some kind of shit storm.

566
00:26:31,507 --> 00:26:33,049
I got guilted into
coming on this trip

567
00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:34,592
and now I'm back
in the fucking '80s.

568
00:26:34,677 --> 00:26:35,760
And I hate this decade!

569
00:26:35,844 --> 00:26:37,262
Maybe it's your
fucking fault!

570
00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:40,014
You're a fucking insurance salesman,
you're practically the devil.

571
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:42,308
Guys! This is
scientifically possible.

572
00:26:42,393 --> 00:26:45,853
Oh, my God. Okay, Professor Hawking,
tell me in your robot voice

573
00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:47,605
how this is
scientifically possible.

574
00:26:47,690 --> 00:26:49,399
<i>All right,
I write Stargate fan fiction,</i>

575
00:26:49,483 --> 00:26:51,317
so I think I know
what I'm talking about right now.

576
00:26:51,402 --> 00:26:53,987
I seriously almost passed out,
you're such a dork.

577
00:26:54,071 --> 00:26:56,739
Okay. The tub is obviously
some kind of energy vortex, right?

578
00:26:56,824 --> 00:26:57,865
Like a black hole.

579
00:26:57,950 --> 00:27:00,034
But, instead of
being in space,

580
00:27:01,078 --> 00:27:02,745
it's in a hot tub.

581
00:27:02,830 --> 00:27:05,748
Time is not linear,
we just perceive it that way!

582
00:27:05,874 --> 00:27:07,583
<i>- What?
- Like The Terminator!</i>

583
00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:09,627
It's cyclical, right?

584
00:27:09,712 --> 00:27:12,338
The machines send Schwarzenegger
back to kill Sarah Connor

585
00:27:12,423 --> 00:27:14,299
so that John Connor
could never be born.

586
00:27:14,383 --> 00:27:17,218
But if John Connor don't send
Michael Biehn back to protect her,

587
00:27:17,303 --> 00:27:21,556
then they never fuck, and John Connor
ain't born in the first place!

588
00:27:22,057 --> 00:27:23,641
- It checks out.
- Yeah, that's pretty good.

589
00:27:23,726 --> 00:27:26,311
Wait, wait, check the fucking drawer.
See if the carving's there.

590
00:27:26,395 --> 00:27:28,563
Check the fucking drawer.

591
00:27:29,481 --> 00:27:30,898
Fuck!

592
00:27:33,193 --> 00:27:34,193
It's gone.

593
00:27:35,404 --> 00:27:36,446
This shit is real.

594
00:27:36,530 --> 00:27:38,740
The carving you
made 20 years ago,

595
00:27:38,824 --> 00:27:40,742
about me sucking
cocks and dicks,

596
00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:43,911
- it's not there.
- Wait.

597
00:27:44,538 --> 00:27:45,705
Is "cocks" still there?

598
00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:47,248
Nothing.
I mean, it's not there.

599
00:27:47,333 --> 00:27:48,416
What about "dicks"?

600
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:51,127
Neither "cocks,"
nor "dicks," nor "sucks."

601
00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:52,754
Oh, God!

602
00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:56,632
That's it.
We stuck in the fucking '80s!

603
00:27:57,176 --> 00:27:59,552
How am I supposed
to get a job?

604
00:28:00,095 --> 00:28:01,721
I'm so scared.

605
00:28:03,474 --> 00:28:05,183
Looks like you
burned out your...

606
00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:08,019
Heck, you fried
your timing crossover.

607
00:28:09,855 --> 00:28:11,064
Would you mind
putting that down, sir,

608
00:28:11,148 --> 00:28:14,275
that coal shovel,
before somebody gets hurt?

609
00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:16,819
Did somebody call you?

610
00:28:16,904 --> 00:28:18,362
Excuse me one minute.

611
00:28:23,827 --> 00:28:25,495
Who ever calls us?

612
00:28:26,663 --> 00:28:29,582
And who answers when the call comes
from within? Huh?

613
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:35,505
I thought maybe I could pull the part
from one of the other tubs.

614
00:28:35,589 --> 00:28:39,050
But it turns out this is
a very special model that you have here.

615
00:28:39,134 --> 00:28:41,427
You've got to be
very careful, I tell you.

616
00:28:41,512 --> 00:28:46,265
One little thing is changed,
the whole system can go haywire.

617
00:28:46,350 --> 00:28:48,309
Do you understand
what I'm saying?

618
00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:50,520
The whole system
can go haywire

619
00:28:50,604 --> 00:28:52,855
if you change
one little thing.

620
00:28:53,273 --> 00:28:56,192
Wait a minute.
We need that to get back in time?

621
00:28:56,276 --> 00:28:57,318
Well, you're back here.

622
00:28:57,402 --> 00:29:01,114
I mean, I can tell you've all been
to Kodiak Valley before.

623
00:29:01,198 --> 00:29:02,657
- I haven't.
- Maybe not her,

624
00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:05,243
but I know that
you were here.

625
00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:07,870
You know what's
going on here, don't you, old man?

626
00:29:07,955 --> 00:29:09,163
Yes, I do.

627
00:29:09,248 --> 00:29:12,083
Your tub is on the fritz.
It'd behoove you to fix it.

628
00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:14,502
What?

629
00:29:14,628 --> 00:29:16,170
It's working.

630
00:29:19,675 --> 00:29:21,551
Damn.
I think it's still broke.

631
00:29:21,635 --> 00:29:22,718
Shit.

632
00:29:24,221 --> 00:29:25,263
Where'd he go?

633
00:29:25,347 --> 00:29:27,140
That motherfucker's
in on it, man.

634
00:29:27,224 --> 00:29:28,891
What was all that
cryptic shit he was saying

635
00:29:28,976 --> 00:29:30,101
about not changing
one little thing?

636
00:29:30,185 --> 00:29:32,603
I know exactly what he meant.
He was talking about the butterfly effect.

637
00:29:32,688 --> 00:29:34,105
That was
a great fucking movie.

638
00:29:34,189 --> 00:29:36,649
One little change
has a ripple effect

639
00:29:36,733 --> 00:29:38,109
and it affects
everything else.

640
00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:40,111
Like, a butterfly
floats its wings

641
00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:43,781
and Tokyo explodes, or there's
a tsunami in, like, somewhere.

642
00:29:43,866 --> 00:29:45,867
Dude, yes, exactly.
Or you step on a bug

643
00:29:45,951 --> 00:29:47,910
and the fucking
Internet's never invented.

644
00:29:47,995 --> 00:29:50,454
Then you have to talk
to girls with your mouth.

645
00:29:50,539 --> 00:29:52,957
Yeah. I was more concerned
about bigger consequences,

646
00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:54,292
like me not being born.

647
00:29:54,376 --> 00:29:55,793
Oh, yeah.
No, I don't care about that.

648
00:29:55,878 --> 00:29:58,296
The point is,
what did we do 20 years ago?

649
00:29:58,380 --> 00:29:59,630
Let's figure it
out right now.

650
00:29:59,715 --> 00:30:02,508
We gotta do
the exact same thing.

651
00:30:02,593 --> 00:30:04,302
- I had that gig.
- That's right.

652
00:30:04,386 --> 00:30:07,555
You got up on stage
and you were wildly mediocre.

653
00:30:07,639 --> 00:30:08,973
And that led to
nothing of a career.

654
00:30:09,057 --> 00:30:11,601
Okay, first of all,
fuck you, motherfucker!

655
00:30:11,685 --> 00:30:14,812
I could have had a career,
but I got married and I went a different way.

656
00:30:14,938 --> 00:30:16,314
Which way is that?
The way that sucked?

657
00:30:16,398 --> 00:30:17,773
Didn't you also
bang that groupie?

658
00:30:17,858 --> 00:30:19,525
- What was her name?
- Tara.

659
00:30:19,610 --> 00:30:22,320
You banged her.
You got to go do that again.

660
00:30:22,404 --> 00:30:25,740
I did do that.
But, fuck, no, I'm married!

661
00:30:26,074 --> 00:30:27,617
I can't go around
banging girls in hot tubs.

662
00:30:27,701 --> 00:30:31,078
Nick, it's 1986. You can't cheat
on someone you don't know yet.

663
00:30:31,163 --> 00:30:33,414
You haven't
even met Courtney.

664
00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:35,666
Lucifer,
itinerary please.

665
00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:36,751
Uh... Nothing
really happened.

666
00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:38,628
I actually fucked a chick, too.
So I'll just do that.

667
00:30:38,712 --> 00:30:40,922
I seem to remember
you getting your ass whooped.

668
00:30:42,132 --> 00:30:43,674
- Oh, yeah.
- That's right.

669
00:30:43,759 --> 00:30:46,594
That ski patrol dude
pummeled you like it was his job.

670
00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:47,762
Yeah, no.
I don't remember it that way.

671
00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:48,888
I do.

672
00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:51,474
Yeah. He fucked you up.
You cried and peed.

673
00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:54,518
Fuck this, man!
This is fucking bullshit!

674
00:30:54,603 --> 00:30:56,604
Would you just think of somebody
other than yourself, man?

675
00:30:56,730 --> 00:30:57,730
There's four of us.

676
00:30:57,814 --> 00:30:59,732
It's the fucking '80s, guys!

677
00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:02,526
Let's do what we wanna do.
Free love!

678
00:31:02,611 --> 00:31:04,278
That's
the '60s, dipshit.

679
00:31:04,363 --> 00:31:06,322
No, we had, like,
Reagan and AIDS.

680
00:31:06,406 --> 00:31:08,282
Let's get the fuck
out of here, okay?

681
00:31:08,367 --> 00:31:09,700
Do the right thing, Violator.

682
00:31:09,785 --> 00:31:12,620
God damn it!
This is fucking bullshit!

683
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:14,705
Tonight's the night
you broke up with Jenny Stedmeyer.

684
00:31:14,790 --> 00:31:15,998
- Shit.
- Yeah, you got stabbed

685
00:31:16,083 --> 00:31:18,042
in the fucking
eyeball tonight!

686
00:31:18,627 --> 00:31:20,795
Hey, man,
do you want backup?

687
00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:22,338
I can't, the butterflies
won't let me.

688
00:31:22,464 --> 00:31:23,839
Yo, Adam?
You guys in there?

689
00:31:23,924 --> 00:31:25,132
Oh, shit.

690
00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:30,096
There you are. Hey!

691
00:31:30,180 --> 00:31:32,682
How come you guys didn't meet us at
the chair lift this morning?

692
00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:33,891
You were going to
show me some moves.

693
00:31:33,976 --> 00:31:36,435
Hi, baby.
I missed you.

694
00:31:38,939 --> 00:31:40,523
I must have forgot.

695
00:31:40,607 --> 00:31:42,650
Perv. That's from Mandy.

696
00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:44,527
- Hey, new guy. What's up?
- Hey.

697
00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:46,988
So we're in 214.
I'm gonna go get ready.

698
00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:48,364
- Okay.
- Meet me in my room, okay?

699
00:31:48,448 --> 00:31:49,865
- Okay.
- Okay.

700
00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:52,076
Love the PJs, Nick.
You look hot.

701
00:31:54,121 --> 00:31:55,997
Poison's tonight.

702
00:31:56,081 --> 00:31:57,206
Wow!

703
00:31:57,291 --> 00:31:59,083
I don't remember her
being that fucking beautiful.

704
00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:02,753
And tight.
She's so tight.

705
00:32:02,838 --> 00:32:03,921
She's really
fucking tight!

706
00:32:04,006 --> 00:32:05,339
She's the great
white buffalo, man.

707
00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:06,674
- Great white buffalo.
- Great white buffalo.

708
00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:08,384
Don't start that.

709
00:32:08,468 --> 00:32:09,927
- Great white buffalo.
- Great white buffalo.

710
00:32:10,012 --> 00:32:10,970
Why did I ever break up with her?

711
00:32:11,054 --> 00:32:12,096
Why would I
break up with her?

712
00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:13,180
Doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.

713
00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:14,932
'Cause you have to
do it again. Right?

714
00:32:15,017 --> 00:32:16,642
Right, right, right.

715
00:32:16,727 --> 00:32:18,019
All right. We're
all gonna meet back here.

716
00:32:18,103 --> 00:32:20,187
Hopefully that hot tub's fixed
and we can get the fuck out of here.

717
00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:21,772
Okay, let's party
like it's 1986.

718
00:32:21,857 --> 00:32:22,982
All right. On three?

719
00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:24,066
- One, two, three...
- One, two, three...

720
00:32:24,151 --> 00:32:25,901
- Hot tub time machine!
- Wait...

721
00:32:25,986 --> 00:32:26,986
What are we...
What's the...

722
00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:28,070
Who said,
"Hot tub time machine?"

723
00:32:28,155 --> 00:32:29,322
We didn't tell you
about the new thing, with our hands?

724
00:32:29,406 --> 00:32:30,906
- No.
- On three, we always...

725
00:32:30,991 --> 00:32:32,283
From now on,
we're gonna say, "Hot tub time machine."

726
00:32:32,367 --> 00:32:33,617
I told you, I think
that's fucking stupid.

727
00:32:33,702 --> 00:32:34,702
You were in
the bathroom.

728
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:35,786
No, but this is a real
bonding event for us.

729
00:32:35,871 --> 00:32:36,871
This doesn't happen
all the time.

730
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:38,331
- Come on.
- I'm telling you, it's stupid.

731
00:32:38,415 --> 00:32:39,623
- Do it once.
- Do what you want to do.

732
00:32:39,708 --> 00:32:40,916
It would have been
3-to-1 anyway.

733
00:32:41,001 --> 00:32:42,293
One, two, three...

734
00:32:42,377 --> 00:32:43,461
...hot tub time machine!

735
00:32:43,545 --> 00:32:44,712
It felt good. Admit it.

736
00:32:55,682 --> 00:32:56,891
Hey!

737
00:32:58,352 --> 00:33:00,644
Let's get
this party started!

738
00:33:01,271 --> 00:33:03,397
Who is carrying
me home tonight?

739
00:33:03,857 --> 00:33:04,899
Mom?

740
00:33:04,983 --> 00:33:06,442
Sweet fucking Lord.

741
00:33:06,526 --> 00:33:07,610
Kelly.

742
00:33:07,694 --> 00:33:08,819
Hey, bro, Nicholas.

743
00:33:08,904 --> 00:33:09,945
Hey, girl.

744
00:33:10,030 --> 00:33:11,030
Who's the geek?

745
00:33:11,114 --> 00:33:12,156
He's your son.

746
00:33:13,283 --> 00:33:14,950
That's not appropriate.

747
00:33:15,035 --> 00:33:16,410
I'm sun...
Sunshine.

748
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:17,536
Sunshine.

749
00:33:17,621 --> 00:33:18,662
'Cause I'm here to
brighten your day.

750
00:33:18,747 --> 00:33:21,082
That's Jacob.
Your...

751
00:33:21,416 --> 00:33:22,708
He's totally cool.

752
00:33:22,793 --> 00:33:23,793
He doesn't look cool.

753
00:33:23,877 --> 00:33:26,837
He's not that cool.
Hey, Kelly.

754
00:33:26,922 --> 00:33:28,881
Lou Dorchen. Yeah...

755
00:33:28,965 --> 00:33:30,007
You don't remember this?

756
00:33:30,092 --> 00:33:31,050
I don't remember everything.

757
00:33:31,134 --> 00:33:33,094
What the fuck, man?
This is freaking me the fuck out.

758
00:33:33,178 --> 00:33:34,637
You freak out every time
you leave the basement.

759
00:33:34,721 --> 00:33:35,888
All right, kiddies,
get your snow boots on

760
00:33:35,972 --> 00:33:38,265
because tonight
there is gonna be a blizzard.

761
00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:40,017
Really? It looked
pretty clear out.

762
00:33:40,102 --> 00:33:42,311
Anybody wanna go
for a little sleigh ride?

763
00:33:42,396 --> 00:33:45,898
You can't do cocaine!
It's so unhealthy for you.

764
00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:47,191
Kelly, in public?

765
00:33:47,275 --> 00:33:48,317
Whatever.

766
00:33:48,402 --> 00:33:50,027
I'm gonna go to a party
at the ski patrol house,

767
00:33:50,112 --> 00:33:51,570
I'm gonna find
a sexy instructor

768
00:33:51,655 --> 00:33:54,115
and I'm gonna wax
his fucking pole.

769
00:33:54,199 --> 00:33:56,617
Later, homos.
Don't drink my fucking drink.

770
00:33:56,701 --> 00:33:57,785
Ugh!

771
00:33:59,079 --> 00:34:00,037
Hey, Adam?

772
00:34:00,122 --> 00:34:03,499
What she means is that she works
at the ski rental place, right?

773
00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:05,751
And that's her job,
is cleaning the poles.

774
00:34:05,836 --> 00:34:08,337
I could be off, but I think
it's in reference to blowing a dude.

775
00:34:08,422 --> 00:34:11,382
Thank you, Nick.
But that's... You don't need to...

776
00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:12,883
Or fucking a dude.
Because the wax,

777
00:34:12,968 --> 00:34:15,136
it can be interpreted
either way.

778
00:34:15,220 --> 00:34:17,555
She was a free spirit,
you know?

779
00:34:17,639 --> 00:34:21,475
Or maybe she's the pole and there's
two dudes that she's waxing.

780
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:24,186
Let's justget it done, man.
Come on.

781
00:34:24,896 --> 00:34:26,063
- Hey, Lou.
- What?

782
00:34:26,148 --> 00:34:29,066
Did my mom, like,
sleep with a bunch of dudes?

783
00:34:29,151 --> 00:34:30,151
I don't know.
Shut up.

784
00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:31,610
But she seems
kind of slutty, right?

785
00:34:31,695 --> 00:34:33,988
Does she seem
that way to you?

786
00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:35,906
It's just, she never
told me who my dad is.

787
00:34:35,991 --> 00:34:37,408
It could be any
one of these guys.

788
00:34:37,492 --> 00:34:39,535
'Cause I was born, like,
nine months from now.

789
00:34:39,619 --> 00:34:41,203
Yeah?
So what does
that mean?

790
00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:42,580
It means do the math,
dipshit.

791
00:34:42,664 --> 00:34:44,707
I could have been
conceived this weekend.

792
00:34:44,833 --> 00:34:46,500
Oh, shit.
Check this out.

793
00:34:46,585 --> 00:34:49,587
That's that fucking bellhop.
I hate that guy.

794
00:34:50,839 --> 00:34:53,507
This must be where
he loses the arm!

795
00:34:56,636 --> 00:34:58,387
- Shit!
- Thank you!

796
00:34:58,472 --> 00:35:00,181
I think
we should tell him.
This is gruesome.

797
00:35:00,265 --> 00:35:01,265
Don't you dare
fucking tell him.

798
00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:04,185
You'll screw
the time thing up.

799
00:35:16,740 --> 00:35:17,781
Yeah!

800
00:35:18,909 --> 00:35:19,909
Yes!

801
00:35:19,993 --> 00:35:21,035
What the fuck?

802
00:35:21,870 --> 00:35:23,037
Yeah!

803
00:35:24,414 --> 00:35:27,708
Boo! We just got fucking robbed.

804
00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:28,918
What are you talking about?

805
00:35:29,002 --> 00:35:30,169
- He's great, man.
- Come on!

806
00:35:31,046 --> 00:35:32,296
Jenny.

807
00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:34,798
Jenny?

808
00:35:34,883 --> 00:35:36,717
I'm in the bathroom.
Come in.

809
00:35:37,677 --> 00:35:39,220
What do you think?

810
00:35:39,304 --> 00:35:40,804
Oh, my God.

811
00:35:40,889 --> 00:35:42,765
What? Do I look fat?

812
00:35:43,558 --> 00:35:46,060
No. You look
really beautiful.

813
00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:50,314
Aw! Thank you.

814
00:35:53,193 --> 00:35:54,652
How about me,
do I look different?

815
00:35:54,736 --> 00:35:56,403
Do I look kind of older?

816
00:35:57,113 --> 00:35:58,280
No.

817
00:35:59,199 --> 00:36:01,075
You look cute, though.

818
00:36:01,409 --> 00:36:03,160
God, I can't stop
thinking about last night.

819
00:36:03,245 --> 00:36:05,454
It was like frigging hot.

820
00:36:05,539 --> 00:36:08,374
It was? What did we do?
I don't remember.

821
00:36:08,708 --> 00:36:11,544
You lasted,
like, 10 minutes.

822
00:36:11,836 --> 00:36:13,003
Oh!

823
00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:14,588
Good, good.

824
00:36:15,006 --> 00:36:16,173
And I was good.

825
00:36:16,258 --> 00:36:20,344
I think I came. I think.
I can't even tell you what it was like.

826
00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:23,138
I got some vague
recollection of that.

827
00:36:23,765 --> 00:36:25,349
Wanna maybe just sit
and talk for a minute?

828
00:36:25,433 --> 00:36:26,725
"Talk."

829
00:36:26,810 --> 00:36:30,854
Well, I mean, you know,
it's just so good to see you again.

830
00:36:34,818 --> 00:36:36,777
It's not you. It's me.

831
00:36:41,616 --> 00:36:42,866
Lamp.

832
00:36:43,451 --> 00:36:46,078
You know what,
I think we should go to Poison now.

833
00:36:46,162 --> 00:36:47,371
You're weird today.

834
00:36:47,455 --> 00:36:49,206
I know.
You are funny.

835
00:36:49,291 --> 00:36:50,249
Let me just get dressed.

836
00:36:50,333 --> 00:36:51,875
Okay.

837
00:36:53,420 --> 00:36:54,420
Wow!

838
00:36:58,717 --> 00:37:00,009
Oh, man!

839
00:37:00,552 --> 00:37:02,052
This is trippy.

840
00:37:02,137 --> 00:37:03,721
What's up?

841
00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:07,600
Man, I can't even remember
the last time I saw you guys.

842
00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:09,727
Yesterday.

843
00:37:10,562 --> 00:37:12,730
Oh, yeah. Yesterday.

844
00:37:15,442 --> 00:37:16,525
Yep.

845
00:37:21,656 --> 00:37:25,159
It's not cheating.It's not cheating.
It's 1986.

846
00:37:25,285 --> 00:37:26,702
You don't even
know Courtney yet.

847
00:37:28,997 --> 00:37:30,581
You know, it's okay
if you're scared, Lou.

848
00:37:30,665 --> 00:37:33,167
I'm not scared, idiot.
I'm fucking pissed.

849
00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:34,918
I have a full head of hair
and a functioning penis,

850
00:37:35,003 --> 00:37:37,171
and I'm looking for some guy
to drill me in the fucking jaw.

851
00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:38,756
We're not gonna
find him here, anyway.

852
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,132
I don't even remember
what he looks like.

853
00:37:44,846 --> 00:37:46,430
- Walk much, faggot?
- Sorry.

854
00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:48,098
What? No, don't touch me.
The fuck, you're sorry.

855
00:37:48,183 --> 00:37:50,142
You scuffed up my Jordans.

856
00:37:51,186 --> 00:37:54,563
You wanna go for it?
Come on, take a shot, pussy. Wanna party?

857
00:37:54,648 --> 00:37:56,523
Wanna be a hero?

858
00:37:56,691 --> 00:37:58,817
And here it comes.

859
00:38:02,572 --> 00:38:05,991
Yeah, you gonna cry?
You gonna cry, titty baby?

860
00:38:06,076 --> 00:38:09,620
You gonna fucking cry?
Look at him he's crying.

861
00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:11,914
Your fucking bag
is mine now.

862
00:38:12,666 --> 00:38:14,041
Is that it?

863
00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:15,668
No.

864
00:38:15,752 --> 00:38:17,503
No, I yell back at him

865
00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:19,421
and I challenge him to
a rematch at midnight saying,

866
00:38:19,506 --> 00:38:20,881
"You bring your friends
and I'll bring mine."

867
00:38:20,965 --> 00:38:22,424
And my friends
don't fucking show up.

868
00:38:22,509 --> 00:38:24,677
So I get pummeled
by six guys instead of one.

869
00:38:24,761 --> 00:38:27,388
All right, fantastic.
Let's do this.

870
00:38:29,224 --> 00:38:31,392
Lou, come on.
You have to.

871
00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:35,229
Hey, Blaine.

872
00:38:35,897 --> 00:38:38,440
Is that all you got?
Pussy.

873
00:38:41,694 --> 00:38:44,238
Oh, God. Yeah.

874
00:38:45,365 --> 00:38:47,991
I'll never go back.
I'll never go back.

875
00:38:50,161 --> 00:38:51,745
Are you crying?

876
00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:53,414
No.

877
00:38:53,498 --> 00:38:55,916
It's the water splashing my face
from all the fucking.

878
00:38:56,584 --> 00:38:57,751
Okay, good.

879
00:38:58,128 --> 00:39:01,422
Because I thought
you were crying, and I was like...

880
00:39:01,714 --> 00:39:02,840
Yeah!

881
00:39:02,924 --> 00:39:04,425
I'm sorry, Courtney.

882
00:39:04,509 --> 00:39:06,301
- It's Tara.
- Courtney!

883
00:39:06,386 --> 00:39:07,344
Tara. Tara.

884
00:39:07,429 --> 00:39:08,846
Courtney! Courtney!

885
00:39:08,930 --> 00:39:11,348
No, seriously,
my name is Tara.

886
00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:13,767
No, my wife, my wife.

887
00:39:15,103 --> 00:39:16,103
You're married?

888
00:39:16,271 --> 00:39:18,647
No, I'm not married.
Not now, anyway.

889
00:39:18,731 --> 00:39:21,400
I will be.
She's nine right now.

890
00:39:27,031 --> 00:39:30,117
Can I tell you something
that I haven't told anybody?

891
00:39:30,618 --> 00:39:32,244
She cheated on me.

892
00:39:33,955 --> 00:39:35,706
I found a e-mail.

893
00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:38,208
And now every time
I look at her,

894
00:39:38,293 --> 00:39:40,377
all I can see is
her getting rammed by

895
00:39:40,462 --> 00:39:43,714
some faceless dude
with a better body and a bigger dick.

896
00:39:43,798 --> 00:39:46,216
Truth of it is, I can't even
bring myself to say anything

897
00:39:46,301 --> 00:39:48,969
because I just love
her so fucking much.

898
00:39:50,305 --> 00:39:53,223
I don't even know if I can
live without her cheating ass.

899
00:39:53,308 --> 00:39:54,892
Hey, what's an e-mail?

900
00:39:54,976 --> 00:39:56,727
That's not the point!

901
00:39:57,479 --> 00:40:00,564
Seems like you might've took one
defensive swing against him.

902
00:40:00,648 --> 00:40:03,734
I mean, honestly, what the fuck, man?
That was...

903
00:40:03,818 --> 00:40:07,070
I don't know how you've
lived with yourself all these years.

904
00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:08,739
It was pathetic.

905
00:40:08,823 --> 00:40:11,408
It was pathetic.
You couldn't have kicked him from the ground?

906
00:40:11,493 --> 00:40:12,993
What happened?

907
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:17,164
Uh...

908
00:40:17,749 --> 00:40:20,584
This is a crazy story.
I got hit by a truck.

909
00:40:21,085 --> 00:40:22,669
Yeah, yeah.

910
00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:25,297
Trying to save a baby deer,
if you can believe that.

911
00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:26,465
Oh, my God!

912
00:40:26,549 --> 00:40:28,842
Is there anything
that I can do?
Are you okay?

913
00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:33,805
Oh, my God.
No, I'm fine. This is nothing.

914
00:40:33,890 --> 00:40:36,266
You know what? Come with me.
I'm gonna take care of you.

915
00:40:36,351 --> 00:40:37,684
And bring your friend.

916
00:40:37,769 --> 00:40:38,852
No, we can't.

917
00:40:38,895 --> 00:40:40,604
- We'd love to, but we can't.
- We can, we can.

918
00:40:40,688 --> 00:40:42,564
We should probably go check
on that deer, actually.

919
00:40:42,649 --> 00:40:43,690
No, we can go.
We can go.

920
00:40:45,568 --> 00:40:47,778
¢Ü I know you cannot wait ¢Ü

921
00:40:47,862 --> 00:40:49,905
¢Ü Wait to see me, too ¢Ü

922
00:40:49,989 --> 00:40:51,198
Oh, my God!

923
00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:53,450
This is like
the best song ever!

924
00:40:53,535 --> 00:40:54,701
Maybe not ever.

925
00:40:56,246 --> 00:40:57,913
¢Ü At the drive-in ¢Ü

926
00:40:57,997 --> 00:40:59,623
God, he's so hot!

927
00:40:59,707 --> 00:41:01,959
¢ÜIn the old man's Ford ¢Ü

928
00:41:02,043 --> 00:41:04,503
¢Ü Behind the bushes ¢Ü

929
00:41:04,671 --> 00:41:06,129
Can I get 3,000 beers?

930
00:41:06,214 --> 00:41:08,173
¢Ü Until I'm screaming for more ¢Ü

931
00:41:08,258 --> 00:41:10,384
¢Ü Down the basement ¢Ü

932
00:41:12,220 --> 00:41:14,304
Who's next?
Who's next for the beer luge?

933
00:41:14,389 --> 00:41:16,640
This guy! This guy's next!
He wants it so bad.

934
00:41:16,724 --> 00:41:17,724
You can do it, man.

935
00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:18,976
He wants it.

936
00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:24,356
Luge! Luge! Luge!
Luge! Luge! Luge!

937
00:41:28,111 --> 00:41:32,281
That was so lame. That wasn't, like,
even violent a little bit.

938
00:41:32,365 --> 00:41:34,157
Who are you, and why did you
do that to me?

939
00:41:34,242 --> 00:41:37,202
Why? Because you looked
like you needed a luge.

940
00:41:37,287 --> 00:41:39,329
- I'm Adam.
- I'm April.

941
00:41:39,414 --> 00:41:40,414
How are you doing?

942
00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:41,665
All right.

943
00:41:41,749 --> 00:41:43,333
What brings you here?

944
00:41:43,418 --> 00:41:44,459
Hot tub.

945
00:41:44,544 --> 00:41:45,544
Huh.

946
00:41:45,628 --> 00:41:47,379
- You?
- Poison.

947
00:41:47,964 --> 00:41:49,756
- Right.
- That band. Poison.

948
00:41:49,924 --> 00:41:52,968
<i>I'm a journalist.
I'm covering the band for Spin magazine.</i>

949
00:41:53,052 --> 00:41:54,511
You don't really look
like you're the type.

950
00:41:54,596 --> 00:41:57,514
The Poison type?
God, no. I'm not. I'm really not.

951
00:41:57,599 --> 00:41:59,683
I basically just
got onto this bus

952
00:41:59,767 --> 00:42:03,729
and it took me here,
to goddamn Winterfest.

953
00:42:03,980 --> 00:42:05,439
Adam!

954
00:42:06,149 --> 00:42:07,274
Whoo!

955
00:42:07,734 --> 00:42:09,484
You know what?
I can't talk to you.

956
00:42:09,569 --> 00:42:10,652
You can't?

957
00:42:10,737 --> 00:42:12,404
But I'm awesome.
I can guarantee that.

958
00:42:12,488 --> 00:42:15,157
I'm sure. You see, I have to walk
in the exact same footsteps.

959
00:42:15,241 --> 00:42:17,034
This didn't happen.

960
00:42:17,118 --> 00:42:18,744
Well, it kind of happened.

961
00:42:18,828 --> 00:42:19,870
I wish it did.

962
00:42:19,954 --> 00:42:21,538
- I just saw it happen.
- It really didn't.

963
00:42:21,623 --> 00:42:23,415
Yeah. No, I contributed.

964
00:42:23,499 --> 00:42:24,666
I wish it did.

965
00:42:24,751 --> 00:42:25,834
All right.

966
00:42:26,461 --> 00:42:27,461
See you.

967
00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:36,094
I brought you some ice.
It'll make you feel better.

968
00:42:36,262 --> 00:42:37,846
Let's see that.

969
00:42:38,473 --> 00:42:39,473
Feel better?

970
00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:41,600
That ice does make me feel better.

971
00:42:43,728 --> 00:42:45,228
Butterflies.

972
00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:48,148
Hey, you know what?
I just remembered I gotta meet a guy.

973
00:42:48,232 --> 00:42:49,399
No, no. Wait.

974
00:42:50,693 --> 00:42:52,653
No, you can't go.

975
00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,488
'Cause guess what?

976
00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:55,614
What?

977
00:42:55,698 --> 00:42:57,658
I only do two at a time.

978
00:42:58,451 --> 00:42:59,451
What do you mean?

979
00:42:59,535 --> 00:43:00,952
What do I mean?

980
00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:06,291
There those are.

981
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:08,251
Yeah, let's do this.

982
00:43:08,336 --> 00:43:09,920
Him first? Okay.

983
00:43:10,004 --> 00:43:11,463
It's your thing.
I don't wanna tell you what to do.

984
00:43:12,674 --> 00:43:14,549
Hold on,
I gotta get the phone.

985
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,679
Hello? Mom?

986
00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:20,013
What?

987
00:43:20,098 --> 00:43:21,223
I wanna know what
the doctor said.

988
00:43:21,307 --> 00:43:23,684
Lou? Lou,
we can't do this.

989
00:43:23,768 --> 00:43:24,935
Yes, we can.

990
00:43:25,019 --> 00:43:26,311
No, this didn't happen.

991
00:43:26,396 --> 00:43:27,396
- We can't do this.
- Yes, we can.

992
00:43:27,522 --> 00:43:29,106
- This didn't happen in the past.
- Yes, it did. Shut up.

993
00:43:29,190 --> 00:43:31,024
This did not fucking
happen in the past.

994
00:43:31,109 --> 00:43:32,901
You shut the fuck up,
please.

995
00:43:32,985 --> 00:43:34,611
We're gonna make, like,
Hitler president or something.

996
00:43:34,696 --> 00:43:36,279
We can't do this.

997
00:43:36,364 --> 00:43:40,033
Look, can you be
fucking normal? Please?

998
00:43:40,118 --> 00:43:42,119
Every young man's fantasy
is to have a three-way.

999
00:43:42,245 --> 00:43:44,287
- Not with another fucking guy.
- It's still a three-way.

1000
00:43:44,372 --> 00:43:46,039
What about the policy
of the butterfly effect?

1001
00:43:46,124 --> 00:43:48,750
The butterfly effect
can suck my nuts!

1002
00:43:49,711 --> 00:43:52,629
Look, we're gonna have sex
with this girl, okay?

1003
00:43:52,797 --> 00:43:54,798
You, me, together.

1004
00:43:55,550 --> 00:43:57,759
Enough of this queer shit.
Let's get the mood right.

1005
00:43:59,053 --> 00:44:00,137
All right.
Look, right there.

1006
00:44:00,221 --> 00:44:01,221
What?

1007
00:44:01,305 --> 00:44:03,932
You don't wanna seem overzealous
with a full-on rager.

1008
00:44:04,016 --> 00:44:05,976
You don't want
to insult the woman, either.

1009
00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:08,937
You're gonna wanna get at least
a half-a-chub going, right?

1010
00:44:09,021 --> 00:44:10,397
- Look at me.
- No.

1011
00:44:10,481 --> 00:44:11,732
- Look at that.
- No.

1012
00:44:11,816 --> 00:44:13,817
Look at how, like,
perfect that is.

1013
00:44:13,901 --> 00:44:15,902
I'm not gonna
fucking look.

1014
00:44:16,821 --> 00:44:17,863
Look, look. Here.

1015
00:44:17,947 --> 00:44:18,989
What the fuck, man?

1016
00:44:20,241 --> 00:44:21,908
- I'm out of here.
- Come on, Jake,

1017
00:44:22,034 --> 00:44:23,702
- I was just getting you started.
- Don't care!

1018
00:44:23,786 --> 00:44:24,786
Guys do that.

1019
00:44:24,871 --> 00:44:26,580
No one does that!

1020
00:44:26,831 --> 00:44:28,415
Hey. Onesies?

1021
00:44:31,252 --> 00:44:32,502
Sorry.

1022
00:44:33,004 --> 00:44:34,254
Okay, cool.
I'm out of here.

1023
00:44:41,763 --> 00:44:42,888
Hey.

1024
00:44:42,972 --> 00:44:44,973
How did it go
with Jenny?

1025
00:44:46,309 --> 00:44:47,476
Oh, my God.

1026
00:44:49,103 --> 00:44:52,898
Oh, my God. Whoo!
Why aren't you dancing?

1027
00:44:53,566 --> 00:44:54,900
Whoa! What's your name?

1028
00:44:54,984 --> 00:44:56,943
That's Jacob.
That's Jenny.

1029
00:44:58,571 --> 00:45:00,113
What the fuck are you doing?

1030
00:45:00,156 --> 00:45:01,615
- You're supposed to break up with her!
- I know.

1031
00:45:01,699 --> 00:45:03,200
No, no, no.
Just check it out, okay?

1032
00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:05,160
Maybe she's
the key to something.

1033
00:45:05,244 --> 00:45:07,746
And I messed it up
when I broke up with her before,

1034
00:45:07,830 --> 00:45:10,123
and now the universe
is giving me another crack at it.

1035
00:45:10,208 --> 00:45:13,001
And if you thought
you could really start over

1036
00:45:13,085 --> 00:45:14,586
and do something
totally different,

1037
00:45:14,670 --> 00:45:16,254
you wouldn't
even consider it?

1038
00:45:16,339 --> 00:45:17,672
You're absolutely right.

1039
00:45:17,757 --> 00:45:18,715
You think so? Really?

1040
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:19,966
No. Fuck, no!

1041
00:45:20,051 --> 00:45:21,301
Come on!

1042
00:45:23,846 --> 00:45:25,096
What do you mean,
you didn't do it?

1043
00:45:25,181 --> 00:45:26,640
I'm getting to it.

1044
00:45:26,724 --> 00:45:28,808
No, we were supposed to do
everything that we did.

1045
00:45:28,893 --> 00:45:29,893
That's what I remember.

1046
00:45:29,977 --> 00:45:31,394
Yeah, Adam,
what the fuck, man?

1047
00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:32,604
You were supposed
to fucking dump her.

1048
00:45:32,688 --> 00:45:35,148
You think I liked getting my ass fucked
up and down the entire street?

1049
00:45:35,274 --> 00:45:36,650
- Because I didn't.
- It's not that I'm not gonna do it,

1050
00:45:36,734 --> 00:45:38,485
I just haven't done it yet.
There's a big difference.

1051
00:45:38,569 --> 00:45:39,736
Look at my face, dude.

1052
00:45:39,820 --> 00:45:41,488
Look at my fucking face!
Drink me in.

1053
00:45:41,572 --> 00:45:42,989
You think I wouldn't have liked
to have changed this?

1054
00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:46,409
Shut the fuck up, Lou.
You tried to rope me into a three-way.

1055
00:45:46,494 --> 00:45:47,536
- What?
- Did you?

1056
00:45:47,620 --> 00:45:48,745
- No.
- Yes.

1057
00:45:48,829 --> 00:45:50,163
Lou! Did you?

1058
00:45:50,248 --> 00:45:53,416
I didn't fuck that girl.
Okay?

1059
00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:56,628
Because I'm committed
to not changing the past.

1060
00:45:56,837 --> 00:45:58,046
Right. It had nothing to do with her

1061
00:45:58,130 --> 00:45:59,673
wanting to be a Chinese finger trap.

1062
00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:01,716
And I'm not saying that
because she was Asian.

1063
00:46:01,801 --> 00:46:04,177
So you're telling me
I cheated on my wife for no reason.

1064
00:46:05,346 --> 00:46:06,388
Just relax, okay?

1065
00:46:06,472 --> 00:46:08,014
I'm gonna do it.
I just haven't done it yet!

1066
00:46:08,099 --> 00:46:09,099
You're unbelievable.

1067
00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:10,934
- Hey, Nick, can I ask you a question?
- Yes.

1068
00:46:11,018 --> 00:46:12,811
Does this seem like
it's all about Adam again?

1069
00:46:12,895 --> 00:46:15,188
Yeah, just like
Cincinnati.

1070
00:46:15,856 --> 00:46:17,524
- What?
- You gonna bring that up?

1071
00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:19,901
We said we weren't gonna talk
about Cincinnati ever, okay?

1072
00:46:19,986 --> 00:46:22,779
Is this why you have that shoebox
in your closet that says "Cincinnati"?

1073
00:46:22,863 --> 00:46:23,863
Yeah.

1074
00:46:23,948 --> 00:46:25,031
What?
That's fucking admissible!

1075
00:46:25,116 --> 00:46:26,700
You keep it
in the closet?

1076
00:46:26,784 --> 00:46:29,160
What was I supposed to do with it?
You can't bury those things.

1077
00:46:29,245 --> 00:46:30,870
And you wrote
"Cincinnati" on it?

1078
00:46:30,955 --> 00:46:33,873
How do I know which one
it's supposed to be?

1079
00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:35,250
Is it a fetus?

1080
00:46:35,334 --> 00:46:36,710
My friends
are ridiculous.

1081
00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:38,128
Why are we still
talking about this?

1082
00:46:38,212 --> 00:46:40,088
Okay, we said
we would never talk about that.

1083
00:46:40,172 --> 00:46:43,466
By the way, where does it say
in the fucking friendship handbook

1084
00:46:43,551 --> 00:46:47,095
that you are the only one
who is allowed any fucking problems?

1085
00:46:47,179 --> 00:46:49,264
I forgot that it says
in the asshole handbook

1086
00:46:49,348 --> 00:46:52,100
that you can just
fuck over your friends
whenever you want!

1087
00:46:52,184 --> 00:46:53,810
Actually, it would say that
in the asshole handbook

1088
00:46:53,894 --> 00:46:55,312
if it was, like,
guidelines for being an asshole,

1089
00:46:55,396 --> 00:46:56,855
- that's what it would say.
- Why wouldn't it say that

1090
00:46:56,939 --> 00:46:58,064
- in the asshole handbook?
- Yeah, it would say

1091
00:46:58,149 --> 00:46:59,316
- to fuck your friends.
- "Fuck over your friends."

1092
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:00,692
- No, no, no.
- Have you ever read a book?

1093
00:47:00,776 --> 00:47:04,029
You're right. I'm sorry, my bad.
You guys are right.

1094
00:47:04,196 --> 00:47:06,489
But if you're changing
the fucking past, okay,

1095
00:47:06,574 --> 00:47:08,908
then I'm changing
the fucking past, all right?

1096
00:47:08,993 --> 00:47:10,452
No! Lou!

1097
00:47:10,536 --> 00:47:13,038
Okay! We're in the game!
I like this.

1098
00:47:13,122 --> 00:47:14,873
I didn't change anything yet,
I just didn't do it.

1099
00:47:14,957 --> 00:47:16,124
And if we're
changing shit,

1100
00:47:16,208 --> 00:47:18,126
you better be there at midnight
to get my fucking back.

1101
00:47:18,210 --> 00:47:19,586
- Done.
- I'll be there.

1102
00:47:19,670 --> 00:47:22,088
Guys! Guys! Come on, man.
Talk to me about this!

1103
00:47:22,173 --> 00:47:23,673
- Fuck off.
- Fuck!

1104
00:47:23,758 --> 00:47:25,050
- I'll be back in a minute.
- Where are you going?

1105
00:47:25,134 --> 00:47:26,217
I gotta go.
I'm getting out of here.

1106
00:47:26,302 --> 00:47:28,011
No, no, Adam,
listen to me, please.

1107
00:47:28,095 --> 00:47:30,513
Jenny Stedmeyer is not
your fucking destiny, okay?

1108
00:47:30,598 --> 00:47:31,723
She's just some girl.

1109
00:47:31,807 --> 00:47:33,850
Some girl you dated
in high school, okay?

1110
00:47:33,934 --> 00:47:35,518
I know! I just got some emotions coming up.

1111
00:47:35,603 --> 00:47:36,936
I got some feelings
that I got to deal with.

1112
00:47:37,021 --> 00:47:39,022
I'm gonna do it.
I believe in you.
You're awesome.

1113
00:47:39,106 --> 00:47:40,690
You know what? That's fine.
Everybody just take off!

1114
00:47:40,775 --> 00:47:41,983
I don't need to be born.

1115
00:47:42,068 --> 00:47:45,278
I'll just go find the repairman myself
and fix the time machine.

1116
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,657
That's the dumbest thing
I've said in a while.

1117
00:47:50,993 --> 00:47:52,535
You made the best
decision of your life,

1118
00:47:52,620 --> 00:47:54,037
choosing me as
your friend over Adam.

1119
00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:55,580
I'm pretty sure
that's not
what's going on here.

1120
00:47:55,665 --> 00:47:57,624
Don't be afraid.
I'm gonna treat you right.

1121
00:47:57,958 --> 00:47:59,501
- Daddy's gonna take care of you.
- Whoa!

1122
00:47:59,627 --> 00:48:00,669
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!

1123
00:48:00,753 --> 00:48:03,338
Here we go. It's like
a slow-motion guillotine.

1124
00:48:05,132 --> 00:48:07,300
What the F-ing fuck?

1125
00:48:15,643 --> 00:48:18,144
Here we go.
Here we go. Round two.

1126
00:48:19,897 --> 00:48:20,897
Should we help him?

1127
00:48:20,981 --> 00:48:22,273
No. No.
This is his destiny.

1128
00:48:29,699 --> 00:48:30,740
Fuck you!

1129
00:48:30,825 --> 00:48:32,617
- Did it happen?
- No.

1130
00:48:35,996 --> 00:48:37,330
If that guy doesn't
lose his arm soon,

1131
00:48:37,415 --> 00:48:39,582
I'm gonna fucking
take it from him myself.

1132
00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:40,750
Man!

1133
00:48:45,381 --> 00:48:46,840
Blaine!

1134
00:48:47,007 --> 00:48:49,092
Come on down, man.
Have a brewski with us.

1135
00:48:49,176 --> 00:48:50,218
There's a party.

1136
00:48:50,302 --> 00:48:53,304
"No foreign army has ever
occupied American soil.

1137
00:48:53,389 --> 00:48:54,848
"Until now."

1138
00:48:55,224 --> 00:48:56,683
Watching Red Dawn again, or...

1139
00:48:56,851 --> 00:48:58,643
<i>Wolverines!</i>

1140
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:00,937
They're Ruskies.

1141
00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:02,939
<i>And these are their secret
Commie weapons.</i>

1142
00:49:03,023 --> 00:49:04,441
What are you
talking about?

1143
00:49:04,525 --> 00:49:06,234
Look at this stuff, man.

1144
00:49:06,318 --> 00:49:09,237
They could be
spies or something.

1145
00:49:09,405 --> 00:49:11,114
I don't know, Blaine.
I mean, they seem a little young

1146
00:49:11,198 --> 00:49:12,615
to be spies, you know.

1147
00:49:12,700 --> 00:49:13,867
Come on, Chaz.

1148
00:49:14,702 --> 00:49:17,495
They could be
some kind of 21 Jump Street

1149
00:49:17,663 --> 00:49:19,998
spy battalion-type dudes.

1150
00:49:21,917 --> 00:49:25,211
Yeah. Yeah. Or not at all, you know?
There's also that.

1151
00:49:25,671 --> 00:49:27,088
What the fuck is this?

1152
00:49:28,257 --> 00:49:29,299
There's something
I wanna talk to you about.

1153
00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:31,718
It's something I'm supposed to do
but I don't wanna do.

1154
00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:32,969
- You know why?
- Okay, Adam. But...

1155
00:49:33,053 --> 00:49:36,473
Because I was thinking
about how good we are together, right?

1156
00:49:36,599 --> 00:49:38,808
- Don't you think? I really think so.
- Okay.

1157
00:49:38,893 --> 00:49:40,935
And I was talking about the future
and I was thinking about,

1158
00:49:41,020 --> 00:49:43,146
well, my future is this way
and maybe it could be this way.

1159
00:49:43,230 --> 00:49:45,315
I know I'm rambling now.
God, you're so beautiful.

1160
00:49:45,399 --> 00:49:46,816
But we got along
so great and...

1161
00:49:46,901 --> 00:49:48,526
What is that?

1162
00:49:49,028 --> 00:49:51,571
It's a note I wrote to you.
You should read it.

1163
00:49:51,864 --> 00:49:53,907
- Right now? Okay.
- Yeah.

1164
00:49:53,991 --> 00:49:57,494
"Dear Adam, you're a super-terrific guy
and I love you.

1165
00:49:57,620 --> 00:49:58,745
Aw!

1166
00:49:59,163 --> 00:50:00,455
"And that's why
this is so hard for me.

1167
00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:03,958
"You're one of the most
amazing people that I've ever met. I can't..."

1168
00:50:04,126 --> 00:50:07,545
Are you breaking up with me?
That's what this... This is a break-up note?

1169
00:50:07,922 --> 00:50:09,172
I'm sorry, Adam.

1170
00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:11,674
All these years!
You stabbed me in the eye with a fucking fork

1171
00:50:11,759 --> 00:50:13,510
and you were gonna
break up with me anyway?

1172
00:50:13,594 --> 00:50:14,677
Is that what
you're saying to me?

1173
00:50:14,762 --> 00:50:15,804
I did what?

1174
00:50:15,888 --> 00:50:18,723
Why are you breaking up with me?
That's not how this works.

1175
00:50:19,391 --> 00:50:21,851
You're such a great guy
and you're gonna find the right girl,

1176
00:50:21,936 --> 00:50:23,144
but it's not me.

1177
00:50:23,229 --> 00:50:26,898
And everybody knows what a big deal
you're gonna be some day.

1178
00:50:27,942 --> 00:50:31,277
No, I'm not.
I'm not. I'm not anybody.

1179
00:50:31,445 --> 00:50:35,114
Adam, okay.
It's not you, it's me.

1180
00:50:36,951 --> 00:50:39,577
I say that to you.
You don't say that to me.

1181
00:50:39,662 --> 00:50:41,538
That's not how this works.

1182
00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:44,624
Do you know what happens to you
if we don't go back?

1183
00:50:45,251 --> 00:50:46,292
You end up with
Billy Lavatino.

1184
00:50:46,377 --> 00:50:47,377
I like him.

1185
00:50:47,461 --> 00:50:50,380
You may like him, but then you
end up pregnant with, like, trucker hips,

1186
00:50:50,464 --> 00:50:52,173
and you have a baby
with Billy Lavatino,

1187
00:50:52,258 --> 00:50:54,133
and you're addicted
to Weight Watchers, you little bitch.

1188
00:50:54,260 --> 00:50:56,010
- What did you just call me?
- Take this fucking back!

1189
00:50:56,095 --> 00:50:58,429
Don't you... Jesus!

1190
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:03,017
I don't get fat!

1191
00:51:03,978 --> 00:51:04,978
Gross!

1192
00:51:09,233 --> 00:51:12,151
If we're changing shit,
we gotta be taking advantage of shit.

1193
00:51:12,319 --> 00:51:14,320
- No.
- Mulligan.

1194
00:51:14,822 --> 00:51:16,155
- No mulligan.
- Come on!

1195
00:51:16,240 --> 00:51:17,782
- You had, like, five mulligans.
- Dude.

1196
00:51:17,950 --> 00:51:20,076
I'm not talking
about bad stuff,
either, okay?

1197
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:21,202
I'm just talking
about good stuff.

1198
00:51:21,287 --> 00:51:24,914
Like keeping Manimal on the air,
you know?

1199
00:51:24,999 --> 00:51:26,207
Or preventing
Miley Cyrus.

1200
00:51:26,292 --> 00:51:27,917
Preventing her
from what?

1201
00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:29,210
Just preventing her.

1202
00:51:29,295 --> 00:51:32,088
<i>And there's the catch!
First down!</i>

1203
00:51:37,344 --> 00:51:38,761
Oh, shit!

1204
00:51:39,430 --> 00:51:40,638
I know this game.

1205
00:51:40,723 --> 00:51:41,848
Yeah?

1206
00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:43,766
Yeah. This is the Denver-Cleveland
playoff game.

1207
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:45,518
This is the fucking Drive, man.

1208
00:51:45,603 --> 00:51:46,686
Yeah?

1209
00:51:48,689 --> 00:51:50,189
I know what
we're gonna do.

1210
00:51:56,864 --> 00:51:59,532
Adam, hey. You're back. Awesome.

1211
00:51:59,992 --> 00:52:02,243
What's going on here?
Where are the guys?

1212
00:52:03,370 --> 00:52:04,871
- What's this?
- Read it.

1213
00:52:05,039 --> 00:52:07,665
"Dear Adam, you are
a super-terrific guy and I love you,

1214
00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:11,461
"which is why this is so hard for me.
I cherish our friendship."

1215
00:52:13,380 --> 00:52:14,964
She broke up with you?

1216
00:52:15,132 --> 00:52:17,508
And you still fucking got stabbed
in the eye?

1217
00:52:17,885 --> 00:52:19,552
Leave me alone.
Get out of here.

1218
00:52:19,762 --> 00:52:21,596
What are you doing here?
You writing poetry?

1219
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:23,556
Just leave me alone
and get out of here. No.

1220
00:52:23,641 --> 00:52:25,308
You're writing
fucking break-up poetry.

1221
00:52:25,392 --> 00:52:27,727
All right, I'm writing
break-up poetry, okay?

1222
00:52:28,729 --> 00:52:30,188
Because my heart hurts.

1223
00:52:30,397 --> 00:52:31,439
She stabbed me in
my heart and my eye.

1224
00:52:31,523 --> 00:52:32,523
Holy shit, you're wasted.

1225
00:52:32,608 --> 00:52:35,944
Look, I've had
like two wine kills,
Captain Buzzcooler.

1226
00:52:36,028 --> 00:52:37,695
- God.
- You're fucked up.

1227
00:52:39,031 --> 00:52:41,824
"Jenny's eyes, like a gypsy's lies
Cut right through the night

1228
00:52:41,909 --> 00:52:44,118
"Now those eyes are another guy's
And I'm alone with my pain"

1229
00:52:44,203 --> 00:52:45,328
That was clean.

1230
00:52:45,412 --> 00:52:47,413
Are you shitting
me with this, Adam?

1231
00:52:48,749 --> 00:52:49,958
Look, you can
recite it straight

1232
00:52:50,042 --> 00:52:51,417
or to the tune of
Sweet Child O' Mine.

1233
00:52:51,502 --> 00:52:52,585
It doesn't matter.

1234
00:52:52,670 --> 00:52:56,005
Are these mushrooms?
Did you eat these mushrooms, Adam?

1235
00:52:56,090 --> 00:52:58,633
I like to eat them, you know?
A couple of them.

1236
00:52:58,717 --> 00:53:00,426
Holy fuck, man,
you gotta stay straight!

1237
00:53:00,552 --> 00:53:02,428
- You gotta help me get the guys back!
- Just relax.

1238
00:53:02,513 --> 00:53:04,263
You know, it's not always about
my emotional journey.

1239
00:53:04,348 --> 00:53:05,848
- It could be about yours.
- Put the coke down!

1240
00:53:05,933 --> 00:53:07,433
- God damn it, you little fucker!
- Give it to me!

1241
00:53:07,518 --> 00:53:10,186
Don't you fucking get it?
I'm not gonna be fucking born!

1242
00:53:13,816 --> 00:53:16,442
How much worse
can it get?

1243
00:53:16,610 --> 00:53:18,236
What? The '80s?

1244
00:53:18,821 --> 00:53:20,697
New part shorted
out another part.

1245
00:53:20,781 --> 00:53:22,699
I hope we can get
that thing working before dawn.

1246
00:53:22,783 --> 00:53:23,866
Wait, wait, hold on,

1247
00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:25,743
is that when
the time portal closes,
at dawn?

1248
00:53:25,828 --> 00:53:27,203
That's when
the party's over.

1249
00:53:27,287 --> 00:53:28,705
Fuck you, man. Listen.

1250
00:53:28,789 --> 00:53:31,207
I am at
my wit's end with him,
so you gotta level with me.

1251
00:53:31,291 --> 00:53:33,584
Are you the mystical
time-travel guide-guy or not?

1252
00:53:33,669 --> 00:53:35,920
Don't you put
your hands on me, young lady!

1253
00:53:37,089 --> 00:53:38,965
I'm just trying
to do my job, here.

1254
00:53:39,049 --> 00:53:41,134
Fuck, hold on.
Quit eating mushrooms, man!

1255
00:53:41,260 --> 00:53:42,969
I wanna have a few more.

1256
00:53:45,305 --> 00:53:48,307
What the fuck
is happening to me?
I can't...

1257
00:53:49,143 --> 00:53:50,143
Dawn.

1258
00:53:53,981 --> 00:53:55,064
Hey, Adam.

1259
00:53:55,149 --> 00:53:58,067
All right, so anyway,
the repairman's doing his thing.

1260
00:53:58,152 --> 00:53:59,360
I'm gonna go
find Nick and Lou,

1261
00:53:59,445 --> 00:54:00,862
and you stay right here.
Okay?

1262
00:54:00,946 --> 00:54:01,904
I'm gonna stay.

1263
00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:03,573
You got it,
but you can't leave.

1264
00:54:03,657 --> 00:54:06,159
I can't move,
because I'm broken.

1265
00:54:06,952 --> 00:54:08,786
Man, you and my mom
are so fucked.

1266
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:12,498
Hungry.

1267
00:54:14,168 --> 00:54:15,168
Evening.

1268
00:54:15,252 --> 00:54:16,419
You've got two arms.

1269
00:54:17,171 --> 00:54:19,088
But you're not going to.
You're gonna lose one.

1270
00:54:19,673 --> 00:54:20,715
What?

1271
00:54:20,799 --> 00:54:22,175
You're gonna lose that arm.

1272
00:54:24,178 --> 00:54:25,553
You're one of those joker guys.

1273
00:54:25,637 --> 00:54:26,679
Right. Right.

1274
00:54:26,764 --> 00:54:29,432
I don't care if you put that arm
in a steel fucking vault,

1275
00:54:29,516 --> 00:54:31,184
that arm's coming off!

1276
00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:32,810
You're gonna lose your arm.

1277
00:54:32,895 --> 00:54:34,270
You're gonna lose your arm!

1278
00:54:34,354 --> 00:54:35,646
I'm gonna rape you.
I'm gonna rape you!

1279
00:54:35,731 --> 00:54:37,899
I'm gonna rape you.
I'm gonna rape you.

1280
00:54:37,983 --> 00:54:39,650
- Have a great night.
- Okay.

1281
00:54:39,985 --> 00:54:41,694
<i>...to the end zone.
Touchdown Cleveland!</i>

1282
00:54:44,323 --> 00:54:46,157
Pay up, suckers!
Pay up!

1283
00:54:46,241 --> 00:54:49,660
How does he do it?
How is he right
all the time?

1284
00:54:49,745 --> 00:54:51,412
Let me ask you
something, McFly.

1285
00:54:52,206 --> 00:54:53,456
How you getting so lucky?

1286
00:54:53,540 --> 00:54:55,541
I know the fucking future,
douche bag.

1287
00:54:55,709 --> 00:54:57,335
Really? One more bet.

1288
00:54:57,419 --> 00:55:00,088
Ricky, come on.
You said one more
and then you'd be done.

1289
00:55:00,380 --> 00:55:02,632
I also said to shut the fuck up.
Remember that?

1290
00:55:02,716 --> 00:55:04,592
Okay, I love you.
Shut the fuck up.

1291
00:55:04,802 --> 00:55:05,968
By the way,
I love your coat.

1292
00:55:06,053 --> 00:55:07,887
I don't give a shit
about animals, either, so...

1293
00:55:08,388 --> 00:55:09,847
One more bet.
High stakes.

1294
00:55:09,932 --> 00:55:12,433
All right. All right.
Bring it on, Spader.

1295
00:55:12,518 --> 00:55:14,060
Bring it on, Jo-Jo.

1296
00:55:14,186 --> 00:55:15,978
I bet Elway throws
a touchdown pass

1297
00:55:16,063 --> 00:55:17,897
with 37 seconds
left on the clock.

1298
00:55:18,065 --> 00:55:20,316
Fat chance, asshole.
Elway's done nothing
all day.

1299
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:23,694
Well then, in the spirit of high stakes,
let's make it interesting.

1300
00:55:23,779 --> 00:55:24,821
Let's make it
interesting.

1301
00:55:24,905 --> 00:55:28,491
If I win, your wife gives me a blowjob.

1302
00:55:28,909 --> 00:55:30,118
Really?

1303
00:55:30,202 --> 00:55:31,369
A classy one.

1304
00:55:34,164 --> 00:55:35,790
- Hey, screw you, kid.
- Hey, okay,

1305
00:55:35,874 --> 00:55:38,209
and if you win,
name your price.

1306
00:55:39,753 --> 00:55:41,754
Touchdown pass at
37 seconds, exactly?

1307
00:55:41,839 --> 00:55:43,256
Exactly.

1308
00:55:44,049 --> 00:55:45,258
Fine.

1309
00:55:45,509 --> 00:55:46,926
You lose,
I take all your winnings.

1310
00:55:47,010 --> 00:55:48,052
Done.

1311
00:55:48,137 --> 00:55:49,512
And you give your
buddy a blowjob.

1312
00:55:49,596 --> 00:55:51,514
What? Hell, no.

1313
00:55:51,598 --> 00:55:52,765
Wow!

1314
00:55:52,850 --> 00:55:53,933
- Deal.
- Deal?

1315
00:55:53,976 --> 00:55:55,726
- Well done. I like your style.
- I like your style.

1316
00:55:55,811 --> 00:55:56,894
He's very creative.

1317
00:55:56,979 --> 00:55:59,397
I don't like you
taking liberties with my dick.

1318
00:55:59,565 --> 00:56:01,023
Relax, okay?

1319
00:56:01,108 --> 00:56:03,609
We know the fucking future.
We can't lose.

1320
00:56:06,572 --> 00:56:10,616
Hey. Hey, there.
What are you doing?

1321
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:12,827
- Hi.
- Hey.

1322
00:56:13,662 --> 00:56:15,246
Okay, how's the view
from down there?

1323
00:56:19,209 --> 00:56:20,626
It's nice.

1324
00:56:22,296 --> 00:56:23,504
Adam, right?

1325
00:56:24,715 --> 00:56:25,840
Yeah.

1326
00:56:25,924 --> 00:56:27,383
Why are you
bleeding in the snow?

1327
00:56:27,467 --> 00:56:28,593
That? No, I...

1328
00:56:28,677 --> 00:56:31,304
I got stabbed in the face with a fork.

1329
00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:34,807
I saw it coming and I avoided it.
I mean, I didn't avoid it.

1330
00:56:35,017 --> 00:56:37,935
It just happened again to me
in a slightly different way.

1331
00:56:38,395 --> 00:56:41,522
Boy, I really wish
I knew what the fuck you were talking about.

1332
00:56:43,192 --> 00:56:45,735
All the choices we make in our life,
they're pointless.

1333
00:56:45,819 --> 00:56:47,695
There's no escaping
the inevitable.

1334
00:56:48,197 --> 00:56:49,655
I don't know, man.

1335
00:56:52,326 --> 00:56:55,912
So, you're saying that your whole
entire life is predetermined to suck,

1336
00:56:55,996 --> 00:56:57,205
no matter what you do?

1337
00:56:57,289 --> 00:56:58,706
It's not the way
I want it, but...

1338
00:56:58,874 --> 00:57:01,459
Kind of seems like
a really, really good excuse

1339
00:57:01,543 --> 00:57:04,629
to do something totally amazing
right now, tonight.

1340
00:57:06,089 --> 00:57:07,298
Like what?

1341
00:57:07,966 --> 00:57:12,136
Like perhaps
hang out with a girl that you just met

1342
00:57:12,221 --> 00:57:14,597
before her bus
has to leave in two hours?

1343
00:57:15,182 --> 00:57:16,265
Right-o.

1344
00:57:17,267 --> 00:57:18,976
I thought you said
we were going to get some food.

1345
00:57:19,061 --> 00:57:22,021
We are.
We're about to get some food.

1346
00:57:22,105 --> 00:57:24,690
I'm pretty hungry,
actually.

1347
00:57:24,858 --> 00:57:27,109
Damn it.
They forgot to leave the key.

1348
00:57:27,277 --> 00:57:28,361
Who did?

1349
00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:31,906
Carol and Stan Stapleton.
They're my friends. They live here,

1350
00:57:31,990 --> 00:57:34,784
and I housesit for them
when they go to Nepal, sometimes.

1351
00:57:34,952 --> 00:57:36,827
I thought you said
you came in here on a bus.

1352
00:57:36,912 --> 00:57:39,997
They usually do leave,
like, a side door open.

1353
00:57:40,207 --> 00:57:42,041
- They do?
- So let me... I'll be right back.

1354
00:57:42,376 --> 00:57:43,376
Okay.

1355
00:57:44,836 --> 00:57:46,712
Yep, it's unlocked.

1356
00:57:51,468 --> 00:57:52,677
Cheers.

1357
00:57:53,220 --> 00:57:55,388
So which one's Carol?

1358
00:57:58,350 --> 00:57:59,642
Carol's on the left.

1359
00:58:00,811 --> 00:58:03,062
<i>Elway's last stand.
45 seconds left on the clock.</i>

1360
00:58:03,397 --> 00:58:05,815
I'm really good at getting head.
You'll see.

1361
00:58:07,067 --> 00:58:08,484
<i>- Elway takes the snap.
- Go, baby.</i>

1362
00:58:08,568 --> 00:58:11,821
<i>He fades back. Elway fires.
He's got Jackson open.</i>

1363
00:58:11,905 --> 00:58:13,656
<i>He's impossibly open!</i>

1364
00:58:13,740 --> 00:58:15,324
<i>Wait, what's this? Vermin?</i>

1365
00:58:15,409 --> 00:58:16,909
No, no, no!
I know this squirrel.

1366
00:58:16,994 --> 00:58:18,995
<i>That's a magic fucking squirrel.
This doesn't count.</i>

1367
00:58:19,079 --> 00:58:20,371
<i>He's distracted by a wild squirrel!</i>

1368
00:58:20,455 --> 00:58:21,497
<i>What the fuck?</i>

1369
00:58:21,581 --> 00:58:24,458
<i>Incomplete! Game's over!
Cleveland wins!</i>

1370
00:58:24,543 --> 00:58:26,794
The Dawg Pound is going
to the Super Bowl.

1371
00:58:26,878 --> 00:58:28,004
Oh, yeah!

1372
00:58:28,088 --> 00:58:29,547
<i>I've never seen anything like it!</i>

1373
00:58:30,882 --> 00:58:32,008
He did it. Got to go!

1374
00:58:32,092 --> 00:58:33,509
Congratulations.
Look at all that money.

1375
00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:36,804
I was kidding about the blowjob thing.
Obviously, we're comedians.

1376
00:58:36,888 --> 00:58:38,389
Hey, guys. Guys.

1377
00:58:39,099 --> 00:58:40,474
A bet's a bet.

1378
00:58:42,769 --> 00:58:44,603
Motherfucker!

1379
00:58:45,939 --> 00:58:47,189
So you're a Time Lord?

1380
00:58:47,274 --> 00:58:48,399
Mmm-hmm.

1381
00:58:48,483 --> 00:58:51,485
And a Jacuzzi is your spaceship?

1382
00:58:52,321 --> 00:58:53,529
That is correct, madam.

1383
00:58:53,697 --> 00:58:55,448
That's the only part
of this whole thing

1384
00:58:55,532 --> 00:58:57,199
that doesn't make sense to me.

1385
00:58:57,284 --> 00:58:59,744
You're not the only one.
Believe me.

1386
00:58:59,828 --> 00:59:02,663
I mean, the whole thing
is just totally insane.

1387
00:59:02,789 --> 00:59:03,831
Ew!

1388
00:59:05,167 --> 00:59:07,084
So, how's the future
working out for you?

1389
00:59:07,169 --> 00:59:09,670
I mean,
are you like a happy grownup?

1390
00:59:10,005 --> 00:59:11,047
Not particularly, no.

1391
00:59:11,131 --> 00:59:12,131
Yeah.

1392
00:59:12,215 --> 00:59:14,633
My friends actually
think I ended up being

1393
00:59:14,718 --> 00:59:17,094
a completely selfish,
fucked-up person.

1394
00:59:17,888 --> 00:59:19,889
And they may have a point,
actually, if I think about it.

1395
00:59:19,973 --> 00:59:21,015
Hmm...

1396
00:59:21,099 --> 00:59:23,434
I'll tell you something I haven't told
somebody for a long time.

1397
00:59:23,727 --> 00:59:24,894
When I was a kid,

1398
00:59:24,978 --> 00:59:28,147
every Friday night,
my father used to take my sister Kelly and me

1399
00:59:28,231 --> 00:59:31,859
to this place called Flatirons
for steak sandwiches.

1400
00:59:31,943 --> 00:59:32,985
It was a family tradition.

1401
00:59:33,070 --> 00:59:34,862
That's sometimes
a good thing.

1402
00:59:35,030 --> 00:59:37,573
But one year,
we saw this commercial

1403
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:40,826
for this place called
The Enchanted Forest of Pizza.

1404
00:59:41,495 --> 00:59:45,122
So the next Friday,
my dad's loading us up into the car.

1405
00:59:45,290 --> 00:59:48,292
We're like, "Daddy, we want
to go to The Enchanted Forest of Pizza."

1406
00:59:48,377 --> 00:59:50,086
And he's like,
"What are you talking about?

1407
00:59:50,170 --> 00:59:52,171
"We always go for
steak sandwiches."

1408
00:59:52,255 --> 00:59:53,923
But we just stay at him

1409
00:59:54,007 --> 00:59:56,967
and we're whining,
and we're badgering, and finally he relents.

1410
00:59:57,052 --> 00:59:58,511
Nice. So, you win.

1411
00:59:58,595 --> 01:00:01,263
You deviated from the plan
in a really big way. That's good.

1412
01:00:02,224 --> 01:00:04,308
33 people died of E. Coli.

1413
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:06,977
Including my father.

1414
01:00:07,521 --> 01:00:09,647
<i>Before he died, he looked at me and he
said,</i>

1415
01:00:09,815 --> 01:00:11,315
"Adam, you did this."

1416
01:00:11,483 --> 01:00:12,858
No, he didn't.

1417
01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:14,193
Yes, he did,

1418
01:00:14,569 --> 01:00:15,611
with his eyes.

1419
01:00:15,695 --> 01:00:18,447
I don't think that
that's what he meant with his eyes.

1420
01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:22,451
The point is that Kelly and I dealt with
the guilt of this in very different ways.

1421
01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:24,036
She went wild, right?

1422
01:00:24,204 --> 01:00:25,871
She didn't want to have control over anything.

1423
01:00:26,039 --> 01:00:28,290
But I vowed to master the chaos,

1424
01:00:28,375 --> 01:00:30,126
- to impose order.
- Adam, I really don't think

1425
01:00:30,210 --> 01:00:33,879
that you can let a poison pizza ruin
the rest of your life.

1426
01:00:34,423 --> 01:00:37,258
You got to embrace the chaos.
You have to.

1427
01:00:37,426 --> 01:00:40,970
That way, life might just
astonish you.

1428
01:00:50,439 --> 01:00:52,314
- I had so much fun tonight.
- I know!

1429
01:00:52,399 --> 01:00:53,732
Fuck! Game on.

1430
01:00:56,236 --> 01:00:57,236
- You look so hot, by the way.
- Thanks.

1431
01:00:58,613 --> 01:01:00,573
I said,
start sucking, gaylord.

1432
01:01:01,199 --> 01:01:03,242
Yeah! Suck!

1433
01:01:03,326 --> 01:01:04,452
Suck that shit, man!

1434
01:01:04,536 --> 01:01:07,830
- Suck! Suck! Suck!
- Suck! Suck! Suck!

1435
01:01:07,914 --> 01:01:09,832
Who are you people?

1436
01:01:09,916 --> 01:01:12,209
God, who are you people?

1437
01:01:12,294 --> 01:01:14,295
Let's get on with this.
My fondue's getting cold.

1438
01:01:14,379 --> 01:01:15,880
Choke on that horn, man!

1439
01:01:19,759 --> 01:01:20,801
Oh!

1440
01:01:20,886 --> 01:01:22,720
Wow, good for you.

1441
01:01:22,804 --> 01:01:23,888
I know, right?

1442
01:01:23,972 --> 01:01:26,515
It's like Gary Coleman's
fucking forearm.

1443
01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:28,601
It's so black!

1444
01:01:28,727 --> 01:01:31,187
It's so impossibly black.

1445
01:01:32,272 --> 01:01:34,648
- I love you, buddy.
- Don't say that!

1446
01:01:34,733 --> 01:01:36,066
I'm sorry, I do.

1447
01:01:36,985 --> 01:01:38,194
No, no, no!

1448
01:01:50,624 --> 01:01:52,541
Hey, you.

1449
01:01:52,959 --> 01:01:55,211
Maybe what you need
isn't in here, after all.

1450
01:01:55,378 --> 01:01:59,507
Maybe what you need
has always been in here.

1451
01:01:59,925 --> 01:02:01,342
- Really?
- No.

1452
01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:06,639
The tub?
Is it fixed yet?

1453
01:02:06,806 --> 01:02:08,807
Can be. Ready to go?

1454
01:02:08,892 --> 01:02:10,100
Wait, go where?

1455
01:02:10,185 --> 01:02:12,228
To the room, check it out.
I've got the part right here.

1456
01:02:12,312 --> 01:02:13,479
Yeah. Yeah, let's go.

1457
01:02:13,563 --> 01:02:14,647
- Let's go.
- Right.

1458
01:02:19,069 --> 01:02:21,111
- Where did he go?
- Who?

1459
01:02:21,196 --> 01:02:22,821
This fucking guy.

1460
01:02:24,241 --> 01:02:26,742
Nicholas.

1461
01:02:28,036 --> 01:02:30,412
Nicky. Nicholas.

1462
01:02:31,748 --> 01:02:34,041
Hey! There he is!

1463
01:02:34,584 --> 01:02:36,001
- What?
- What the fuck?

1464
01:02:36,086 --> 01:02:37,211
What? What?

1465
01:02:38,505 --> 01:02:40,506
What, do I still
have some on my face?

1466
01:02:41,550 --> 01:02:42,925
Oh, God!

1467
01:02:43,009 --> 01:02:44,260
Damn!

1468
01:02:45,554 --> 01:02:47,221
Did you have
pineapple today?

1469
01:02:47,305 --> 01:02:49,640
I can't go home.
What the fuck?

1470
01:02:50,058 --> 01:02:51,850
I'm fucking with you, dude.

1471
01:02:51,935 --> 01:02:53,143
It's hand soap.

1472
01:02:54,354 --> 01:02:56,438
Oh, my God. Relax.

1473
01:02:56,523 --> 01:02:58,274
It's like you haven't
seen a little come

1474
01:02:58,358 --> 01:03:00,234
on your friend's face before,
or something.

1475
01:03:00,318 --> 01:03:02,111
What the fuck is
wrong with you, man?

1476
01:03:02,195 --> 01:03:04,863
I'm just kidding.
It's what friends do. God!

1477
01:03:04,948 --> 01:03:06,115
You didn't?

1478
01:03:06,199 --> 01:03:08,576
Gargle your hog?
No, man.

1479
01:03:09,035 --> 01:03:11,161
After they pulled you off of me,
me and Rick talked it out.

1480
01:03:11,246 --> 01:03:12,746
He's actually
a pretty cool guy.

1481
01:03:12,831 --> 01:03:16,375
We have a lot in common.
We both love tits and Motley Crue.

1482
01:03:16,543 --> 01:03:17,751
It's cool?

1483
01:03:17,836 --> 01:03:19,378
Yeah, I just told
him a bunch of shit

1484
01:03:19,462 --> 01:03:21,005
that's gonna make
him rich in the future.

1485
01:03:21,172 --> 01:03:23,215
I saved
the good stuff for us.

1486
01:03:23,967 --> 01:03:26,427
Let's go to the bar,
plan our empire.

1487
01:03:31,391 --> 01:03:34,643
Fucking iPods, you know?
Fucking Prius.

1488
01:03:35,061 --> 01:03:38,689
Match. Com. Anything. Com.
Fucking Internet. Com!

1489
01:03:38,857 --> 01:03:43,110
Fucking Zac Efron.
Nobody invented him yet.

1490
01:03:43,194 --> 01:03:45,988
What about Twitter?
Whatever the fuck that is.

1491
01:03:46,072 --> 01:03:50,618
Hey, we could combine
Twitter with fucking Viagra.

1492
01:03:51,745 --> 01:03:53,203
Twitt-agra.

1493
01:03:54,581 --> 01:03:55,956
What's the matter, dude?
Come on.

1494
01:03:56,041 --> 01:03:59,293
I'm sorry, man.
I'm just preoccupied.

1495
01:03:59,753 --> 01:04:02,838
You just kind of down
about being black and out of shape?

1496
01:04:02,964 --> 01:04:05,007
What the fuck is
wrong with you? No.

1497
01:04:05,091 --> 01:04:06,759
Because you look good,
you know?

1498
01:04:06,843 --> 01:04:08,719
This is a great time
for black people.

1499
01:04:09,095 --> 01:04:10,095
I mean our time,
not this time.

1500
01:04:10,180 --> 01:04:11,555
This is a terrible time
for black people.

1501
01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:13,891
I don't see one other
black person in here.

1502
01:04:15,143 --> 01:04:16,435
Talk to me, man.

1503
01:04:16,686 --> 01:04:18,187
I found out she
fucking cheated.

1504
01:04:18,355 --> 01:04:21,315
What? Courtney's
fucking cheating on you?

1505
01:04:21,650 --> 01:04:24,735
I gave her my life,
I gave up my passion.

1506
01:04:24,944 --> 01:04:26,195
And she's just
out there...

1507
01:04:26,279 --> 01:04:28,155
Why the fuck
didn't you say something, man?

1508
01:04:28,239 --> 01:04:31,450
That's just it!
I never see you guys anymore.

1509
01:04:31,910 --> 01:04:34,495
I don't have my music,
I barely have friends.

1510
01:04:34,996 --> 01:04:36,205
Without Courtney,

1511
01:04:36,873 --> 01:04:37,956
I'm nothing.

1512
01:04:38,041 --> 01:04:40,292
You're just fucking
Courtney's bitch right now.

1513
01:04:40,377 --> 01:04:42,878
You need to be
your own man,
you know?

1514
01:04:43,046 --> 01:04:44,838
"Nick Webber-Agnew"?
What the fuck is that?

1515
01:04:44,923 --> 01:04:46,298
- It's terrible.
- It doesn't work.

1516
01:04:46,383 --> 01:04:48,967
No. Nick Webber,
that's who you are.

1517
01:04:49,761 --> 01:04:51,220
That's who I was.

1518
01:04:51,513 --> 01:04:53,472
Maybe you gotta
find him again.

1519
01:04:53,765 --> 01:04:57,101
You know, she's getting hers,
you go get yours.

1520
01:04:57,936 --> 01:04:59,311
I can't, man.

1521
01:04:59,479 --> 01:05:01,105
It means something
to me to be married.

1522
01:05:01,189 --> 01:05:03,148
You're not fucking married.
It's 1986.

1523
01:05:03,233 --> 01:05:04,274
In my heart I am.

1524
01:05:04,359 --> 01:05:05,818
Your heart's
a fucking liar.

1525
01:05:14,994 --> 01:05:17,830
You know what?
You know what you got to do?

1526
01:05:17,997 --> 01:05:19,039
What?

1527
01:05:19,582 --> 01:05:21,667
You gotta get your
ass up on that stage.

1528
01:05:23,336 --> 01:05:24,503
You're right.

1529
01:05:26,005 --> 01:05:27,005
I'm gonna do it.

1530
01:05:27,090 --> 01:05:28,132
Yeah. Do it.

1531
01:05:28,216 --> 01:05:31,343
Hey, hey, hey.
Do it fucking quickly, okay?

1532
01:05:31,511 --> 01:05:32,720
You better be at
that fight with me.

1533
01:05:32,804 --> 01:05:33,762
Don't leave me
hanging this time.

1534
01:05:33,847 --> 01:05:35,347
- I won't. I promise.
- All right.

1535
01:05:35,849 --> 01:05:38,267
Hey, Adam. Fuck.

1536
01:05:41,688 --> 01:05:42,855
Guys?

1537
01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:49,945
You're good to go.

1538
01:05:50,572 --> 01:05:51,655
Holy shit. Really?

1539
01:05:51,740 --> 01:05:53,532
Some sort of
sticky liquid got into

1540
01:05:53,616 --> 01:05:56,034
the crossover housing,
I don't know.

1541
01:05:56,202 --> 01:05:58,203
Must have had some
nitratriminium in it.

1542
01:05:59,205 --> 01:06:00,539
It's Chernobly.

1543
01:06:00,623 --> 01:06:03,459
Whatever it was, it ravaged
the hell out of the electronics.

1544
01:06:03,543 --> 01:06:05,753
Worked out for you
and the boys, though.

1545
01:06:05,837 --> 01:06:06,962
Wait, hold on,
are you saying that

1546
01:06:07,046 --> 01:06:08,130
that's the key to
the whole thing?

1547
01:06:08,214 --> 01:06:09,465
We need the Chernobly
to get back?

1548
01:06:09,549 --> 01:06:13,510
All I'm saying is, whatever your poison,
I wouldn't tub without it.

1549
01:06:13,595 --> 01:06:15,262
Especially after dawn.

1550
01:06:15,346 --> 01:06:17,723
It'd kill you
to give me a straight answer?

1551
01:06:18,641 --> 01:06:20,476
You know,
you're kind of a dick.

1552
01:06:20,894 --> 01:06:23,604
Hey, everybody,
you ready to jam?

1553
01:06:23,772 --> 01:06:25,022
All right.

1554
01:06:25,106 --> 01:06:28,317
Ladies and gentlemen,
help me welcome to the stage

1555
01:06:28,401 --> 01:06:30,235
Nick Webber!

1556
01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:32,488
Hi.

1557
01:06:33,656 --> 01:06:35,491
It's been a long time.

1558
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:43,165
¢Ü No, I'm never
gonna dance again ¢Ü

1559
01:06:43,249 --> 01:06:46,627
¢Ü Guilty feet
have got no rhythm ¢Ü

1560
01:06:55,929 --> 01:06:58,096
¢Ü Jessie is a friend ¢Ü

1561
01:06:59,098 --> 01:07:02,601
¢Ü Yeah, I know he's been
a good friend of mine ¢Ü

1562
01:07:03,102 --> 01:07:06,480
¢Ü But lately something's changed
It ain't hard to define ¢Ü

1563
01:07:06,564 --> 01:07:09,942
¢Ü Jessie's got himself a girl
And I want to make her mine ¢Ü

1564
01:07:12,654 --> 01:07:14,863
These guys are dangerous.
Look at this stuff.

1565
01:07:14,948 --> 01:07:16,782
Blaine, it looks
like a skinny soda can.

1566
01:07:16,866 --> 01:07:20,702
No, a soda-can bomb!
This stuff's straight out of Moscow.

1567
01:07:20,787 --> 01:07:22,746
Let's go kick
that Commie's ass!

1568
01:07:22,831 --> 01:07:23,872
Chaz.

1569
01:07:23,957 --> 01:07:26,458
Shouldn't we call the cops
or the FBI or something?

1570
01:07:26,918 --> 01:07:29,920
No, we're gonna
handle this internally.

1571
01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:40,639
¢Ü I wish that I had ¢Ü

1572
01:07:40,723 --> 01:07:42,391
¢Ü Jessie's girl ¢Ü

1573
01:07:42,725 --> 01:07:44,017
¢Ü I wish that I had ¢Ü

1574
01:07:44,102 --> 01:07:45,811
¢Ü Jessie's girl ¢Ü

1575
01:07:50,650 --> 01:07:55,112
¢Ü Yeah ¢Ü

1576
01:08:00,368 --> 01:08:03,495
This song is from the future,
but since you've been good,

1577
01:08:03,580 --> 01:08:04,830
you get it early.

1578
01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:06,582
Just like we rehearsed.

1579
01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:10,335
¢Ü Let's get it started ¢Ü

1580
01:08:10,461 --> 01:08:12,504
¢Ü in here ¢Ü

1581
01:08:16,050 --> 01:08:18,927
¢Ü And the bass keep runnin' runnin'
And runnin' runnin' ¢Ü

1582
01:08:19,012 --> 01:08:26,101
¢Ü And runnin' runnin'
And runnin' runnin' ¢Ü

1583
01:08:26,185 --> 01:08:28,437
¢Ü In this context
There's no disrespect ¢Ü

1584
01:08:28,521 --> 01:08:30,647
¢Ü So when I bust my rhyme
You break your necks ¢Ü

1585
01:08:30,732 --> 01:08:32,941
¢Ü We got five minutes
For us to disconnect ¢Ü

1586
01:08:33,026 --> 01:08:35,235
¢Ü From all intellect
Collect the rhythm effect ¢Ü

1587
01:08:35,320 --> 01:08:37,779
¢Ü So lose your inhibition
Follow your intuition ¢Ü

1588
01:08:37,864 --> 01:08:40,115
¢Ü Free your inner soul
And break away from tradition ¢Ü

1589
01:08:40,199 --> 01:08:41,950
¢Ü 'Cause when we beat out
Girl, it's putting heat out ¢Ü

1590
01:08:42,035 --> 01:08:44,494
¢Ü You wouldn't believe
How we wow shit out ¢Ü

1591
01:08:44,579 --> 01:08:46,622
¢Ü Burn it till it's burned out
Turn it till it's turned out ¢Ü

1592
01:08:46,706 --> 01:08:49,333
¢Ü Act up from north,
west, east, south ¢Ü

1593
01:08:49,417 --> 01:08:52,794
¢Ü Everybody, everybody
Let's get into it ¢Ü

1594
01:08:52,879 --> 01:08:55,130
¢Ü Get stupid
Get it started ¢Ü

1595
01:08:55,214 --> 01:08:56,965
¢Ü Get it started
Get it started ¢Ü

1596
01:08:57,050 --> 01:09:05,849
¢Ü Let's get it started
Let's get it started in here ¢Ü

1597
01:09:07,727 --> 01:09:10,896
¢Ü Everybody, everybody
Let's get into it ¢Ü

1598
01:09:11,064 --> 01:09:13,357
¢Ü Get stupid
Get it started ¢Ü

1599
01:09:13,441 --> 01:09:16,985
¢Ü Get it started, get it started
Let's get it started ¢Ü

1600
01:09:17,070 --> 01:09:19,029
Hey, where's
the Kodiak Club?

1601
01:09:19,113 --> 01:09:20,405
Down the street, dude.

1602
01:09:20,573 --> 01:09:22,366
Okay. Okay, thank you.

1603
01:09:22,533 --> 01:09:25,327
Listen, me and my boys
got some shit-kicking to do.

1604
01:09:25,620 --> 01:09:26,995
But this

1605
01:09:30,249 --> 01:09:31,416
Ain't over.

1606
01:09:32,126 --> 01:09:33,543
Get out of my way, stool.

1607
01:09:34,671 --> 01:09:36,964
¢Ü Transmit hits
with no delusion ¢Ü

1608
01:09:37,048 --> 01:09:39,716
¢Ü The feeling's irresistible
And that's how we moving ¢Ü

1609
01:09:39,884 --> 01:09:41,677
¢Ü Everybody
Everybody ¢Ü

1610
01:09:41,761 --> 01:09:43,011
¢Ü Let's get into it ¢Ü

1611
01:09:43,096 --> 01:09:44,221
That's my boy,
right there.

1612
01:09:44,389 --> 01:09:46,098
- The singer?
- Yeah.

1613
01:09:46,265 --> 01:09:48,558
¢Ü Let's get it started ¢Ü

1614
01:09:48,726 --> 01:09:51,603
I'll be back. My friends are over there.
I'll come right back.

1615
01:09:52,271 --> 01:09:54,272
¢Ü Lose control
Of body and soul ¢Ü

1616
01:09:54,357 --> 01:09:56,858
¢Ü Don't move too fast, people
Just take it slow ¢Ü

1617
01:09:56,943 --> 01:09:59,403
I'm caught right in the middle
of a thing right now,

1618
01:09:59,487 --> 01:10:01,029
but can I text you later?

1619
01:10:01,114 --> 01:10:02,864
- Can you what?
- Are you online at all?

1620
01:10:02,949 --> 01:10:04,533
I have no idea
what you're saying.

1621
01:10:04,617 --> 01:10:05,826
How do I get
a hold of you?

1622
01:10:05,910 --> 01:10:07,869
You come find me.

1623
01:10:07,954 --> 01:10:09,121
That just sounds

1624
01:10:10,039 --> 01:10:11,081
exhausting.

1625
01:10:11,541 --> 01:10:12,541
¢Ü With no delusion ¢Ü

1626
01:10:12,625 --> 01:10:15,168
¢Ü The feeling's irresistible
And that's how we moving ¢Ü

1627
01:10:15,253 --> 01:10:17,045
There he is.
Where are your boys?

1628
01:10:17,130 --> 01:10:18,880
I thought they were
gonna hold your sack.

1629
01:10:18,965 --> 01:10:20,549
Let's kick his ass, Blaine.

1630
01:10:22,260 --> 01:10:24,553
Where are my fucking friends?

1631
01:10:24,804 --> 01:10:26,304
¢Ü Whoo-hoo! Let's get ¢Ü

1632
01:10:26,472 --> 01:10:28,140
¢Ü Whoo-hoo! In here ¢Ü

1633
01:10:28,307 --> 01:10:30,267
¢Ü Let's get Whoo-hoo! ¢Ü

1634
01:10:30,435 --> 01:10:32,102
¢Ü While I get Whoo-hoo! ¢Ü

1635
01:10:32,854 --> 01:10:34,730
- You like that song?
- Yeah, it's great.

1636
01:10:34,814 --> 01:10:35,939
It's gonna be a hit.

1637
01:10:43,531 --> 01:10:47,451
¢Ü And runnin' runnin'
And runnin' runnin' ¢Ü

1638
01:10:52,707 --> 01:10:55,125
Thank you. Thank you.

1639
01:10:56,794 --> 01:10:58,045
Yes.

1640
01:10:58,129 --> 01:10:59,546
That was sweet.

1641
01:10:59,672 --> 01:11:01,423
All right.
All right, man.

1642
01:11:03,176 --> 01:11:05,093
Good to have you back,
see you back up there, man.

1643
01:11:05,178 --> 01:11:07,262
Hey, it's coming back.
I should have
done this years ago.

1644
01:11:07,346 --> 01:11:10,265
- Guys. Adam. Guys!
- About time.

1645
01:11:10,349 --> 01:11:12,267
Did you see him?
Did you see him rock out?

1646
01:11:12,351 --> 01:11:14,895
Shut up! Okay, we gotta find
the Chernobly to get out of here.

1647
01:11:15,063 --> 01:11:16,063
Chernobly? Why?

1648
01:11:16,147 --> 01:11:17,272
I don't know, exactly.

1649
01:11:17,356 --> 01:11:21,109
But the repairman said
it's got nitro-trainium...

1650
01:11:21,277 --> 01:11:22,652
- Nitratrinanium.
- Thank you.

1651
01:11:22,737 --> 01:11:25,363
Or some shit in it
that'll fix the time machine.

1652
01:11:25,531 --> 01:11:27,365
- That makes sense.
- Where's Lou?

1653
01:11:27,533 --> 01:11:29,534
Where is...
What time is it?

1654
01:11:30,203 --> 01:11:33,330
Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Shit!

1655
01:11:36,042 --> 01:11:37,084
Lou!

1656
01:11:38,711 --> 01:11:40,378
- Where is he?
- Fuck.

1657
01:11:42,131 --> 01:11:44,633
Oh, my God!
We missed it again!

1658
01:11:45,718 --> 01:11:47,761
Well, where do you think
he went?

1659
01:11:49,222 --> 01:11:51,056
Same place as last time?

1660
01:11:52,475 --> 01:11:56,228
¢Ü Keeps me together at the seams ¢Ü

1661
01:11:56,395 --> 01:11:59,022
¢Ü I'm on my way ¢Ü

1662
01:11:59,565 --> 01:12:01,191
Shut up, you flamer!

1663
01:12:01,859 --> 01:12:04,736
¢Ü I'm on my way ¢Ü

1664
01:12:05,571 --> 01:12:07,906
Hey, go home! Loser!

1665
01:12:08,074 --> 01:12:09,991
Hey, John Lennon gets shot!

1666
01:12:10,576 --> 01:12:12,077
Wait, did that
already happen?

1667
01:12:14,497 --> 01:12:15,664
Lou!

1668
01:12:17,083 --> 01:12:18,291
Whoo!

1669
01:12:19,168 --> 01:12:23,588
They made it, everybody!
Whoo!
Best friends in the world!

1670
01:12:23,756 --> 01:12:25,132
Almost just in time!

1671
01:12:26,884 --> 01:12:28,218
My buddies.

1672
01:12:28,386 --> 01:12:31,513
Fucking Chimney Point, right?
Here we are.

1673
01:12:31,681 --> 01:12:33,932
Bottle of scotch,
end of the night.

1674
01:12:35,601 --> 01:12:36,977
Where were you?

1675
01:12:37,186 --> 01:12:38,645
We were just...
We came...

1676
01:12:38,729 --> 01:12:40,730
Not tonight.
Every fucking night.

1677
01:12:41,274 --> 01:12:44,401
Huh? What happened?
We were gonna do shit together, man.

1678
01:12:44,485 --> 01:12:47,487
We were gonna conquer the fucking world.
Me and you.

1679
01:12:47,572 --> 01:12:48,989
And then you cut me off.

1680
01:12:49,073 --> 01:12:50,198
What was I
gonna do, man?

1681
01:12:50,283 --> 01:12:52,951
I was gonna let you drag me down
into your bullshit, Lou?

1682
01:12:53,119 --> 01:12:55,203
Yeah. Yes, because
that's what friends do.

1683
01:12:55,288 --> 01:12:56,705
No, they don't, man!

1684
01:12:56,789 --> 01:12:58,456
Because then there's two people
stuck in the bullshit

1685
01:12:58,541 --> 01:12:59,708
instead of your sorry ass.

1686
01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:03,962
You should stick by your friends
through thick and thin!

1687
01:13:07,550 --> 01:13:10,635
Okay, great.
I got two things to say to you.

1688
01:13:11,095 --> 01:13:12,387
- Okay.
- Okay?

1689
01:13:12,722 --> 01:13:15,140
Number one, I hate you.

1690
01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:16,600
Got it.

1691
01:13:16,684 --> 01:13:18,476
Our friendship means nothing.

1692
01:13:19,478 --> 01:13:20,937
All right, is that the first thing
or the second thing?

1693
01:13:21,022 --> 01:13:23,481
What? No, clearly that's still part
of the first thing.

1694
01:13:23,649 --> 01:13:24,983
- I mean, am I the asshole?
- Did you get that?

1695
01:13:25,067 --> 01:13:26,735
- No, I didn't get it. I thought...
- He didn't get it.

1696
01:13:26,819 --> 01:13:28,069
He said A and B...

1697
01:13:28,154 --> 01:13:30,572
Let's agree to disagree
about the "first" thing.

1698
01:13:30,656 --> 01:13:33,950
Lou, where is the Chernobly?
We need it to get back.

1699
01:13:34,035 --> 01:13:35,952
"Where's the Chernobly
at, Lou?"

1700
01:13:36,037 --> 01:13:38,246
That's all you ever
fucking care about.

1701
01:13:38,331 --> 01:13:39,581
It's the first time
he mentioned it.

1702
01:13:39,665 --> 01:13:41,249
Yeah, and even if we had
mentioned it before,

1703
01:13:41,334 --> 01:13:44,085
it's kind of a fucking big deal, okay?
I wanna go home.

1704
01:13:44,253 --> 01:13:45,629
Come on, Lou.
Let's talk about this inside.

1705
01:13:45,713 --> 01:13:46,922
You got no shoes on.
It's cold out.

1706
01:13:47,006 --> 01:13:48,506
Who took my fucking shoe?

1707
01:13:48,591 --> 01:13:51,051
Blaine apparently beat your shoe
off of you,

1708
01:13:51,135 --> 01:13:53,094
which I don't even know how
that could fucking happen.

1709
01:13:53,179 --> 01:13:57,140
Okay, fuck it!
Fuck you, fuck you and fuck you!

1710
01:13:57,225 --> 01:13:58,266
Easy, man.

1711
01:13:58,351 --> 01:13:59,559
Whoa, Lou!

1712
01:14:04,732 --> 01:14:05,899
I got you.

1713
01:14:06,067 --> 01:14:07,359
Oh, my God!

1714
01:14:07,526 --> 01:14:08,610
- Is Lou dead?
- Shit!

1715
01:14:08,778 --> 01:14:10,237
There he is.

1716
01:14:11,614 --> 01:14:12,781
I can't hold on.

1717
01:14:12,865 --> 01:14:13,823
Yes, you can!

1718
01:14:13,908 --> 01:14:14,950
Yes, you can hang on!

1719
01:14:15,034 --> 01:14:16,701
- I'm slipping.
- No, hold on.

1720
01:14:16,786 --> 01:14:18,787
No, Nick.
Hold on. Guys!

1721
01:14:21,916 --> 01:14:23,792
Phil! Phil!

1722
01:14:25,086 --> 01:14:26,544
Oh, fuck!

1723
01:14:26,629 --> 01:14:29,464
We're dead! This is how it happens!
This is how he loses it!

1724
01:14:29,632 --> 01:14:30,799
Fuck it!

1725
01:14:30,967 --> 01:14:33,051
Fuck it, we're dead men!
Just let me go.

1726
01:14:33,219 --> 01:14:34,803
Lou, be positive.

1727
01:14:37,223 --> 01:14:38,932
The roof is
scraping my nut!

1728
01:14:39,100 --> 01:14:40,809
Damn, you strong.

1729
01:14:44,480 --> 01:14:45,772
All right.

1730
01:14:45,940 --> 01:14:48,817
You're all right?
I'm glad you guys are all right.

1731
01:14:50,403 --> 01:14:51,903
My fault.

1732
01:14:52,071 --> 01:14:53,947
Why do you do
shit like that?

1733
01:14:54,115 --> 01:14:55,991
- I'm sorry! Jesus!
- Thank you, Phil.

1734
01:14:56,575 --> 01:14:59,035
All right, here's the second
fucking thing, okay?

1735
01:14:59,203 --> 01:15:00,662
Blaine's got the Chernobly.

1736
01:15:00,830 --> 01:15:03,248
Let's just get it from him,
so we can get back to the present

1737
01:15:03,332 --> 01:15:05,375
so I can start never seeing
you bitches again.

1738
01:15:08,004 --> 01:15:09,337
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
- Hey.

1739
01:15:09,422 --> 01:15:10,922
I was looking for you.
Where'd you go?

1740
01:15:11,007 --> 01:15:13,842
I had to go...
My friend got in trouble, but I had to...

1741
01:15:13,926 --> 01:15:15,135
I'm leaving right now.

1742
01:15:15,303 --> 01:15:16,428
You're leaving right now?

1743
01:15:16,512 --> 01:15:17,762
- Yeah.
- That's not good.

1744
01:15:17,847 --> 01:15:19,556
I told you, I had two hours.
I gotta go.

1745
01:15:20,683 --> 01:15:23,977
Uncle Adam, come on!
Who the fuck is that chick?

1746
01:15:24,145 --> 01:15:25,270
Do you wanna come with me?

1747
01:15:25,313 --> 01:15:26,354
- Get her fax number and let's go.
- Come on.

1748
01:15:26,439 --> 01:15:27,856
- I can't.
- Yes, you can.

1749
01:15:27,940 --> 01:15:30,150
You can do whatever you want, man.
It's your life.

1750
01:15:30,234 --> 01:15:31,443
I want to.

1751
01:15:31,527 --> 01:15:32,694
Good. Then come on.

1752
01:15:32,778 --> 01:15:35,780
But I can't because my friends need me
and I gotta show up for them,

1753
01:15:36,866 --> 01:15:38,283
so I really can't.

1754
01:15:38,451 --> 01:15:39,743
Okay.

1755
01:15:40,995 --> 01:15:43,455
So what are we...
I mean, do we...

1756
01:15:43,873 --> 01:15:45,248
- What happens?
- I don't know.

1757
01:15:45,416 --> 01:15:46,916
I'm not really
making any plans.

1758
01:15:47,001 --> 01:15:49,210
I'm just sort of letting
the universe surprise me, right?

1759
01:15:49,295 --> 01:15:50,712
I like that.
I like that a lot.

1760
01:15:50,796 --> 01:15:51,880
That's the sign
of a happy man.

1761
01:15:51,964 --> 01:15:53,173
April, let's go!

1762
01:15:53,257 --> 01:15:54,466
Shit.

1763
01:15:56,927 --> 01:15:59,929
Maybe the universe will
bring us together again.

1764
01:16:00,139 --> 01:16:01,348
I hope.

1765
01:16:08,814 --> 01:16:10,482
Casanova, let's do this!

1766
01:16:19,992 --> 01:16:21,743
Just turn it around
and keep it running, okay?

1767
01:16:21,827 --> 01:16:23,244
Yeah, sure thing.

1768
01:16:24,330 --> 01:16:26,039
Okay.
You go this way,
I'll go this way?

1769
01:16:26,207 --> 01:16:27,582
No, I'm gonna do the opposite
of everything you say.

1770
01:16:27,666 --> 01:16:28,666
Great.

1771
01:16:31,087 --> 01:16:33,088
Wonder which
one's Blaine's room.

1772
01:16:36,592 --> 01:16:37,842
Housekeeping.

1773
01:16:45,017 --> 01:16:46,518
Go, go, go.

1774
01:16:59,198 --> 01:17:01,366
Let's try in here.
Where is it?

1775
01:17:03,035 --> 01:17:05,036
Come on! Come on, come on.

1776
01:17:09,375 --> 01:17:11,126
Panties, panties, panties!

1777
01:17:12,044 --> 01:17:13,503
What the fuck are you doing?

1778
01:17:13,587 --> 01:17:16,005
Why don't you shut
your slut mouth

1779
01:17:16,090 --> 01:17:17,882
and mind your own fucking business?

1780
01:17:17,967 --> 01:17:19,467
You disgust me.

1781
01:17:25,099 --> 01:17:27,600
I love how much you hate you.

1782
01:17:30,229 --> 01:17:31,354
Thank you.

1783
01:17:36,235 --> 01:17:37,527
- They're here, come on.
- Fuck!

1784
01:17:37,611 --> 01:17:39,446
"Fuck" as in, "The Chernobly's here
and we're all good"?

1785
01:17:39,530 --> 01:17:41,406
No, "fuck" as in, "fuck!"

1786
01:17:41,574 --> 01:17:42,657
Where's Nick?

1787
01:17:42,741 --> 01:17:45,243
Admit it! You sucked his balls,
you licked his booty,

1788
01:17:45,327 --> 01:17:47,078
you sucked his toes.

1789
01:17:47,246 --> 01:17:48,538
Was his dick
bigger than mine?

1790
01:17:48,622 --> 01:17:50,582
You wore the heels,
didn't you?

1791
01:17:50,666 --> 01:17:51,749
Admit it, bitch!

1792
01:17:52,626 --> 01:17:54,252
<i>There's gonna be
some changes, all right?</i>

1793
01:17:54,420 --> 01:17:56,212
First, I'm dropping
"Agnew" from my name.

1794
01:17:56,297 --> 01:17:57,338
No more hyphenate.

1795
01:17:57,423 --> 01:17:59,215
Next, I'm getting
back on stage.

1796
01:17:59,300 --> 01:18:01,676
I'm going back to music
because I jam.

1797
01:18:01,760 --> 01:18:03,178
But you wouldn't know
nothing about that

1798
01:18:03,262 --> 01:18:05,972
because you're probably
somewhere sucking a motherfucker's dick!

1799
01:18:06,599 --> 01:18:07,640
Excuse me?

1800
01:18:08,767 --> 01:18:12,145
Hang up the phone, Jerry.
This shit don't concern you.

1801
01:18:12,229 --> 01:18:13,229
How do you know my name?

1802
01:18:13,314 --> 01:18:15,190
Hang up the phone,
motherfucker!

1803
01:18:15,274 --> 01:18:16,774
This is between
me and my wife!

1804
01:18:17,568 --> 01:18:19,527
Hey! Give me that phone!

1805
01:18:19,612 --> 01:18:21,070
Give him the phone, Nick.

1806
01:18:21,155 --> 01:18:23,239
I know what I'm doing.
I know what I'm doing!

1807
01:18:23,324 --> 01:18:25,783
No, you don't, man.
Let it go! Let it go, man.

1808
01:18:26,452 --> 01:18:29,287
Wrong number.
But you're a bad girl and you hurt him.

1809
01:18:30,331 --> 01:18:32,707
Were you just yelling
at your 9-year-old wife?

1810
01:18:33,918 --> 01:18:34,918
Yes.

1811
01:18:36,629 --> 01:18:39,047
God damn it.
I'm gonna go nuclear on these guys.

1812
01:18:39,131 --> 01:18:40,256
They couldn't
have gone far, man.

1813
01:18:42,259 --> 01:18:44,928
Lou! Come on,
we gotta go.

1814
01:18:45,804 --> 01:18:47,639
- Hey.
- Hey.

1815
01:18:48,057 --> 01:18:49,224
Mom?

1816
01:18:49,308 --> 01:18:50,600
Hey, did you find the Chernobly?

1817
01:18:50,684 --> 01:18:51,809
You motherfucker!

1818
01:18:53,604 --> 01:18:55,396
- Where did he go?
- Jacob?

1819
01:18:55,481 --> 01:18:57,398
- What the fuck?
- What's happened?

1820
01:19:00,486 --> 01:19:02,570
Oh, my God. I get it.

1821
01:19:03,697 --> 01:19:05,114
I'm his father.

1822
01:19:05,199 --> 01:19:06,282
What?

1823
01:19:09,453 --> 01:19:10,828
Wait, so what do we do?

1824
01:19:10,913 --> 01:19:11,996
Oh, my God.

1825
01:19:14,041 --> 01:19:15,166
Hit that.

1826
01:19:17,419 --> 01:19:18,962
You finish this.

1827
01:19:20,214 --> 01:19:21,339
Okay.

1828
01:19:21,632 --> 01:19:25,468
Lay down.
We got a stupid baby to make right now.

1829
01:19:26,011 --> 01:19:28,012
I'm back inside of you.

1830
01:19:28,931 --> 01:19:32,559
I can't believe I'm
fucking Adam's sister!

1831
01:19:32,643 --> 01:19:35,478
I'm doing it!
I'm doing it!

1832
01:19:36,063 --> 01:19:38,898
It's gonna take me a while
'cause I'm a little drunk.

1833
01:19:39,066 --> 01:19:40,400
Oh, no, it's not.
Here I come.

1834
01:19:40,568 --> 01:19:43,486
Oh, my God, I'm gonna come!
I'm gonna...

1835
01:19:43,654 --> 01:19:46,072
Oh, Shia LaBeouf!

1836
01:19:46,240 --> 01:19:48,658
Dropping loads!

1837
01:19:48,993 --> 01:19:53,246
So much fucking semen.
Little tiny Jacobs!

1838
01:19:56,709 --> 01:19:59,002
There's my boy.

1839
01:19:59,169 --> 01:20:01,796
It was so beautiful.
You sack of shit!

1840
01:20:04,300 --> 01:20:06,467
I knew there was a reason
I fucking hated you.

1841
01:20:06,635 --> 01:20:07,760
And now I know why.

1842
01:20:07,845 --> 01:20:11,139
I'm gonna tell everybody in prison that
I traveled back in time

1843
01:20:11,223 --> 01:20:12,724
to kill my own father!

1844
01:20:12,850 --> 01:20:14,767
- Jacob, get off him. Come on!
- Time out, young man.

1845
01:20:14,852 --> 01:20:17,645
Get the fuck off of me!
You're a fucking dead man!

1846
01:20:17,730 --> 01:20:18,771
Jacob!

1847
01:20:18,856 --> 01:20:20,315
Nobody fucks my mother
in the past!

1848
01:20:20,399 --> 01:20:22,191
I feel pregnant.

1849
01:20:23,402 --> 01:20:24,902
You're welcome.

1850
01:20:33,078 --> 01:20:34,621
You Commies looking for this?

1851
01:20:34,705 --> 01:20:35,913
- Yes, actually.
- Yes, we are.

1852
01:20:35,998 --> 01:20:37,248
That's what
we're looking for.

1853
01:20:37,333 --> 01:20:38,583
You think we could get that back?

1854
01:20:38,667 --> 01:20:39,792
No, you may not.

1855
01:20:39,877 --> 01:20:42,962
But bad news for you, sport.
I'm a patriot.

1856
01:20:43,047 --> 01:20:45,256
And I'm not about to let some
Ruskie fucks come into my town

1857
01:20:45,341 --> 01:20:47,925
and blow shit up with
some red-soda-can bomb.

1858
01:20:48,010 --> 01:20:49,594
Just give it to us,
turtleneck.

1859
01:20:49,678 --> 01:20:52,096
Yeah, okay,
you can have it back.

1860
01:20:52,264 --> 01:20:55,266
As long as that sack over there
comes and takes it from me.

1861
01:20:56,435 --> 01:20:58,019
- I think he's talking about you.
- He's talking about you.

1862
01:20:58,103 --> 01:20:59,604
He's obviously
talking about me.

1863
01:21:02,983 --> 01:21:04,317
Blaine, hello.

1864
01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:05,943
Um...

1865
01:21:06,278 --> 01:21:08,196
Can I please
get the soda back?

1866
01:21:08,364 --> 01:21:09,614
Yeah, sure you can.

1867
01:21:10,616 --> 01:21:11,616
Oh.

1868
01:21:11,700 --> 01:21:12,950
Okay.

1869
01:21:15,204 --> 01:21:16,871
Fuck me in the face.

1870
01:21:16,955 --> 01:21:18,623
Get him
a body bag, Blaine!

1871
01:21:18,999 --> 01:21:21,376
Give us a minute, okay?
Listen to me, man.

1872
01:21:21,794 --> 01:21:26,464
That guy, that guy has pummeled you
again and again.

1873
01:21:26,632 --> 01:21:27,965
He made you
his little bitch.

1874
01:21:28,133 --> 01:21:30,677
He's humiliated you,
emasculated you.

1875
01:21:30,844 --> 01:21:34,347
The wheel of fate has stopped
and dumped you here again,

1876
01:21:34,431 --> 01:21:35,723
utterly defeated.

1877
01:21:36,183 --> 01:21:37,892
None of this is
helping me at all.

1878
01:21:37,976 --> 01:21:39,519
I know, it's coming.
It's coming right now.

1879
01:21:39,603 --> 01:21:40,603
Patience.

1880
01:21:40,688 --> 01:21:42,438
Maybe you're supposed to do
something different.

1881
01:21:42,523 --> 01:21:44,774
What is this, girl talk?
Let's go here, come on.

1882
01:21:44,858 --> 01:21:46,317
You're better than him.

1883
01:21:46,402 --> 01:21:47,652
America!

1884
01:21:47,736 --> 01:21:49,821
Maybe not by a lot,
but a little.

1885
01:21:49,988 --> 01:21:52,490
You're the patron saint
of the totally fucked.

1886
01:21:52,658 --> 01:21:56,160
You're completely toxic.
There's nothing you can't kill.

1887
01:21:56,328 --> 01:21:58,121
You're the fucking Violator!

1888
01:21:58,205 --> 01:21:59,747
The moment's over.
Let's go!

1889
01:21:59,832 --> 01:22:03,167
You can do this!
You can get us the fuck out of here!

1890
01:22:03,335 --> 01:22:04,836
You can be the hero!

1891
01:22:05,003 --> 01:22:06,587
Enrique-fucking-lglesias.

1892
01:22:06,672 --> 01:22:08,089
You love that song,
don't you?

1893
01:22:08,173 --> 01:22:09,924
I love that fucking song!

1894
01:22:10,008 --> 01:22:11,843
Give me your best shot.
Come on, buddy.

1895
01:22:13,220 --> 01:22:16,139
¢Ü I can be your hero, baby ¢Ü

1896
01:22:18,976 --> 01:22:22,437
¢Ü I can kiss away the pain ¢Ü

1897
01:22:25,107 --> 01:22:28,901
¢Ü I will stand by you forever ¢Ü

1898
01:22:30,779 --> 01:22:35,450
¢Ü You can take my breath away ¢Ü

1899
01:22:36,368 --> 01:22:37,785
Shit.

1900
01:22:37,870 --> 01:22:41,330
God damn it!
None of what you said worked at all.

1901
01:22:42,207 --> 01:22:44,167
Let's kick these guys' ass,
get the shit and go home.

1902
01:22:44,251 --> 01:22:45,293
Done.

1903
01:22:45,377 --> 01:22:46,711
No, no!

1904
01:22:54,762 --> 01:22:57,263
Fuck you! Feels so good!

1905
01:22:57,431 --> 01:22:58,639
The Chernobly.

1906
01:23:09,151 --> 01:23:10,651
Martina Navratilova.

1907
01:23:10,736 --> 01:23:12,069
Smirnoff Ice.

1908
01:23:14,406 --> 01:23:16,365
That's right,
we are Russians! Spies.

1909
01:23:17,242 --> 01:23:18,826
Yeah, because I was
just speaking Russian.

1910
01:23:18,911 --> 01:23:21,579
He pulls that top,
and this whole fucking place blows.

1911
01:23:21,747 --> 01:23:25,541
You guys count backwards from 50,
then pull up the carpet and jump around.

1912
01:23:25,709 --> 01:23:27,251
Or I'll fuck you up.

1913
01:23:31,256 --> 01:23:34,258
Hi, Phil.
Can we go back to the hotel, lodge?

1914
01:23:34,426 --> 01:23:36,093
- Sure.
- Thank you so much.

1915
01:23:38,180 --> 01:23:40,348
Five, four, three...

1916
01:23:40,432 --> 01:23:42,808
Blaine, please stop counting.

1917
01:23:42,893 --> 01:23:46,020
Chaz, this is
an Acorn 5 situation.

1918
01:23:46,104 --> 01:23:48,481
If we stop counting,
they're gonna blow us sky-high.

1919
01:23:48,565 --> 01:23:51,359
Look, if it is a bomb,
they've got it with them, all right?

1920
01:23:51,443 --> 01:23:52,693
If anyone's gonna blow up,
it's them.

1921
01:23:52,778 --> 01:23:54,278
Chaz, stop!

1922
01:23:55,948 --> 01:23:57,406
How long did
our talking just take?

1923
01:23:57,491 --> 01:23:58,741
I don't know.
I wasn't keeping track.

1924
01:23:58,825 --> 01:24:00,785
Fuck it, let's risk it!

1925
01:24:00,869 --> 01:24:01,869
Move out!

1926
01:24:02,412 --> 01:24:04,997
Now that you're with me,
you gotta cover up your belly.

1927
01:24:05,082 --> 01:24:06,290
Let's get
the fuck out of here.

1928
01:24:06,375 --> 01:24:08,251
What are you talking about?
We only had sex once.

1929
01:24:08,335 --> 01:24:10,628
Let's go. Come on.
Kelly, you can
talk about it later.

1930
01:24:10,712 --> 01:24:11,712
You guys are all right?

1931
01:24:11,797 --> 01:24:13,214
Thank you, Phil.
Enjoyed it.

1932
01:24:13,298 --> 01:24:15,466
Have a good rest
of your vacation.

1933
01:24:15,551 --> 01:24:19,220
We'd love to have you come back here
to the Silver Peaks Lodge.

1934
01:24:19,304 --> 01:24:21,389
- Thanks. Bye-bye.
- Thanks, Phil. Take care.

1935
01:24:21,473 --> 01:24:22,557
Be careful.

1936
01:24:22,641 --> 01:24:23,599
Hey, watch out!

1937
01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:28,563
God, you guys see that?

1938
01:24:28,647 --> 01:24:30,231
Come on, man!

1939
01:24:30,315 --> 01:24:32,066
Why would you
fucking take that from me?

1940
01:24:32,150 --> 01:24:33,859
I didn't take it from you.

1941
01:24:33,944 --> 01:24:35,278
You guys...

1942
01:24:37,739 --> 01:24:40,575
It happened!
It happened!

1943
01:24:44,871 --> 01:24:47,999
Why the fuck
are you laughing? Gross!

1944
01:24:50,836 --> 01:24:52,962
Man down, man down!
Code 11.

1945
01:24:53,046 --> 01:24:55,840
All right, everybody grab your gear,
we gotta move!

1946
01:24:57,843 --> 01:24:59,176
Later, Kelly.

1947
01:24:59,761 --> 01:25:02,221
Bye, Mom. Love you.
Don't do drugs, okay?

1948
01:25:02,306 --> 01:25:03,723
Hey, bye.

1949
01:25:04,975 --> 01:25:06,100
Aren't you coming
to my room with me?

1950
01:25:06,184 --> 01:25:07,226
No, I gotta take
my clothes off

1951
01:25:07,311 --> 01:25:09,103
and get in a hot
tub with these guys.

1952
01:25:09,521 --> 01:25:10,771
Then I'm totally
over you.

1953
01:25:10,856 --> 01:25:12,857
Kelly, listen.
It's been an interesting trip.

1954
01:25:12,941 --> 01:25:15,234
You're my sister
and I love you.

1955
01:25:15,569 --> 01:25:17,194
I love you, too.

1956
01:25:17,446 --> 01:25:19,697
And don't steal
that Caboodle makeup thing from JCPenney

1957
01:25:19,781 --> 01:25:21,073
and you won't do
any hard time.

1958
01:25:21,158 --> 01:25:22,742
I'll see you in 20 years.

1959
01:25:23,035 --> 01:25:25,703
Uh. You're giving me a ride
in the morning, right?

1960
01:25:28,707 --> 01:25:30,082
Hallelujah!

1961
01:25:31,293 --> 01:25:32,793
Cannonball!

1962
01:25:35,380 --> 01:25:37,548
Yeah! Let's get
this party started!

1963
01:25:38,050 --> 01:25:39,467
Young blood.

1964
01:25:43,388 --> 01:25:44,388
Holy shit!

1965
01:25:44,473 --> 01:25:45,640
Hey, look,
it's happening.

1966
01:25:46,058 --> 01:25:47,516
Here it comes!

1967
01:25:50,062 --> 01:25:52,855
Hurry up.
I can see the '90s.

1968
01:25:52,939 --> 01:25:54,565
Why are you taking
off your clothes?

1969
01:25:54,650 --> 01:25:56,817
I don't know, man.
It just feels right, you know?

1970
01:25:56,902 --> 01:25:58,027
Fuck it.

1971
01:25:58,236 --> 01:26:02,156
Adam! Adam!
I'm not gonna go!

1972
01:26:02,741 --> 01:26:04,617
- What?
- I'm gonna stay!

1973
01:26:04,701 --> 01:26:06,744
Don't fuck around, Lou.
Let's go!

1974
01:26:07,245 --> 01:26:08,996
I'm good here, man.

1975
01:26:09,081 --> 01:26:12,750
I had a good day!
I beat the shit out of that guy, finally!

1976
01:26:13,001 --> 01:26:14,502
I fucked your sister!

1977
01:26:14,920 --> 01:26:16,712
I could be a good dad!

1978
01:26:16,797 --> 01:26:18,506
I love you, Jacob!

1979
01:26:18,590 --> 01:26:20,091
Fuck you!

1980
01:26:21,385 --> 01:26:24,804
Little scamp. They say
the damndest things, man.

1981
01:26:24,888 --> 01:26:27,765
Come on, Lou, let's go!
We'll talk about it when we get home!

1982
01:26:28,100 --> 01:26:30,393
I was trying
to kill myself!

1983
01:26:33,021 --> 01:26:35,314
I know, man.
That's why we came here!

1984
01:26:35,399 --> 01:26:40,152
If I go back, I'm just
gonna kill myself all over again, man.

1985
01:26:40,237 --> 01:26:42,113
- I can't.
- You're gonna stay?

1986
01:26:42,364 --> 01:26:43,948
Guys, let's go.

1987
01:26:44,032 --> 01:26:45,700
All right, well, if you're gonna stay,
I'm gonna stay!

1988
01:26:45,784 --> 01:26:47,326
You'd really
do that for me?

1989
01:26:47,411 --> 01:26:50,287
We're best friends!
If you're staying, I'm staying!

1990
01:26:50,372 --> 01:26:52,164
Your bullshit's
my bullshit, right?

1991
01:26:52,541 --> 01:26:54,125
I'm your best friend?

1992
01:26:54,209 --> 01:26:56,168
You are one of
my best friends!

1993
01:26:56,253 --> 01:26:57,211
I'll take that!

1994
01:26:57,295 --> 01:26:58,587
Where you going on me?

1995
01:26:58,672 --> 01:26:59,755
Thank you!

1996
01:26:59,840 --> 01:27:01,048
Oh, my God!

1997
01:27:01,675 --> 01:27:03,551
All right, man. Come on!

1998
01:27:47,095 --> 01:27:48,512
Holy shit.

1999
01:27:48,930 --> 01:27:51,682
This better be the last time
my ass travels through time.

2000
01:28:13,371 --> 01:28:14,413
Oh...

2001
01:28:15,123 --> 01:28:17,291
It is so good
to see you.

2002
01:28:19,628 --> 01:28:20,920
<i>Are we rolling?</i>

2003
01:28:21,880 --> 01:28:24,048
<i>Welcome back, bitches!</i>

2004
01:28:24,216 --> 01:28:25,382
Is that Lou?

2005
01:28:25,550 --> 01:28:27,968
What took you so long?
All right, zoom out.

2006
01:28:28,053 --> 01:28:29,553
Yeah, that's
a weird hair choice.

2007
01:28:29,638 --> 01:28:32,223
Uh-oh. Look what Daddy did.

2008
01:28:32,474 --> 01:28:33,557
He looks like a lion.

2009
01:28:34,726 --> 01:28:36,811
Oh, hi.
Didn't see you there.

2010
01:28:37,729 --> 01:28:38,729
Here's a question.

2011
01:28:38,814 --> 01:28:41,816
Was it morally wrong for me
to exploit my knowledge of the future

2012
01:28:41,900 --> 01:28:43,651
for personal financial gain?

2013
01:28:43,735 --> 01:28:45,069
Perhaps.

2014
01:28:45,153 --> 01:28:46,695
Here's another question.

2015
01:28:46,780 --> 01:28:48,280
Do I give a fuck?

2016
01:28:48,365 --> 01:28:49,406
That's my father.

2017
01:28:49,491 --> 01:28:51,659
Hey, check out my girl.

2018
01:28:51,743 --> 01:28:53,494
You burned the fucking crab
cakes again.

2019
01:28:53,578 --> 01:28:57,039
<i>No, I didn't burn them
because I like them that way!</i>

2020
01:28:57,123 --> 01:28:59,083
I fucking hate you, Louis.

2021
01:28:59,167 --> 01:29:00,501
I hate you, too, baby.

2022
01:29:01,419 --> 01:29:03,003
I love that woman, man.

2023
01:29:03,088 --> 01:29:04,630
Those are my parents.

2024
01:29:04,714 --> 01:29:06,507
But seriously,
a lot has changed.

2025
01:29:06,591 --> 01:29:10,636
So, whatever happens,
stay the fuck calm.

2026
01:29:11,429 --> 01:29:12,847
It'll all make sense soon.

2027
01:29:22,816 --> 01:29:23,858
Good morning.

2028
01:29:23,942 --> 01:29:26,193
Holy shit,
Phil, you got both your arms.

2029
01:29:26,278 --> 01:29:28,112
Oh. Yeah, I do.

2030
01:29:28,196 --> 01:29:29,363
That's incredible.

2031
01:29:29,447 --> 01:29:32,741
Yeah, what happened was
a snowplow came along

2032
01:29:32,826 --> 01:29:34,535
and it took my arm right off.

2033
01:29:34,619 --> 01:29:37,454
<i>But the ski patrol came along
and they put it on ice.</i>

2034
01:29:37,539 --> 01:29:39,832
Blaine and Chaz.
Blaine and Chaz saved his arm!

2035
01:29:39,916 --> 01:29:42,042
We got 15 minutes
before that thing dies, all right.

2036
01:29:42,127 --> 01:29:43,586
We're gonna put
that back on you!

2037
01:29:43,670 --> 01:29:45,254
<i>I'm pretty happy.</i>

2038
01:29:45,338 --> 01:29:46,380
It looks great.

2039
01:29:46,464 --> 01:29:48,883
Anyhow, I have instructions
on how to get home.

2040
01:29:48,967 --> 01:29:50,259
We know how to get home.

2041
01:29:50,343 --> 01:29:51,719
Yeah. We know...

2042
01:29:51,803 --> 01:29:54,638
Mr. Dorchen anticipated
that you might say that,

2043
01:29:54,764 --> 01:29:57,600
so I took the liberty
of printing up some Lougle maps for you.

2044
01:29:57,809 --> 01:29:59,560
- You mean "Google"?
- Lougle maps.

2045
01:29:59,644 --> 01:30:01,770
What's the matter with you guys?

2046
01:30:05,150 --> 01:30:06,275
Fuck me.

2047
01:30:06,359 --> 01:30:09,403
So, Phil, if you wanna find,
you know, like porno

2048
01:30:09,487 --> 01:30:12,281
or a restaurant review
or anything like that, you use Lougle?

2049
01:30:12,532 --> 01:30:13,699
Correct.

2050
01:30:13,992 --> 01:30:16,160
I bet he's on
the Statue of Liberty and shit, too.

2051
01:30:20,498 --> 01:30:22,124
You want me to go in there?

2052
01:30:22,208 --> 01:30:24,460
That's what
it says on the map.

2053
01:30:27,047 --> 01:30:28,255
Call me later.

2054
01:30:31,009 --> 01:30:32,134
Hello.

2055
01:30:36,806 --> 01:30:38,891
Welcome back, Mr. Webber.
How was your time away?

2056
01:30:40,685 --> 01:30:41,810
Uh...

2057
01:30:43,647 --> 01:30:46,732
Hey, how was the trip?

2058
01:30:51,529 --> 01:30:52,696
Good.

2059
01:30:53,031 --> 01:30:55,157
¢Ü Letting the days go by ¢Ü

2060
01:30:55,241 --> 01:30:57,326
¢Ü Let the water hold me down ¢Ü

2061
01:30:57,410 --> 01:30:59,286
¢Ü Letting the days go by ¢Ü

2062
01:30:59,371 --> 01:31:01,455
¢Ü Water flowing underground ¢Ü

2063
01:31:01,539 --> 01:31:03,499
¢Ü Into the blue again ¢Ü

2064
01:31:03,583 --> 01:31:05,459
¢Ü After the money's gone ¢Ü

2065
01:31:05,543 --> 01:31:07,503
¢Ü Once in a lifetime ¢Ü

2066
01:31:07,587 --> 01:31:10,339
¢Ü Water flowing underground ¢Ü

2067
01:31:10,423 --> 01:31:11,715
Motherfucker.

2068
01:31:12,884 --> 01:31:14,051
Nick?

2069
01:31:14,511 --> 01:31:17,721
Baby, how was your weekend?
I wasn't expecting you today.

2070
01:31:19,599 --> 01:31:22,559
Baby. Baby.
I got something to tell you.

2071
01:31:22,894 --> 01:31:25,688
I know about what you did
with a guy named Steve.

2072
01:31:26,898 --> 01:31:29,608
Steve?
Our receptionist?

2073
01:31:29,776 --> 01:31:31,735
That Tyrese-looking
motherfucker out there?

2074
01:31:31,903 --> 01:31:35,072
Baby, wait a minute.
What are you talking about?

2075
01:31:35,240 --> 01:31:36,824
You think I'm fooling around?

2076
01:31:36,908 --> 01:31:39,702
First of all, I would never screw around.

2077
01:31:40,078 --> 01:31:43,789
And you remember I told you about that crazy
wrong number I got when I was nine.

2078
01:31:43,873 --> 01:31:45,374
- That man was so...
- I love you, Courtney.

2079
01:31:45,458 --> 01:31:47,167
I love you so much.

2080
01:31:47,252 --> 01:31:49,378
I love you, too,
Nick Webber.

2081
01:31:50,088 --> 01:31:51,296
Nick Webber?

2082
01:31:52,090 --> 01:31:53,257
That's your name.

2083
01:31:54,384 --> 01:31:56,093
Yeah, it is my name.

2084
01:31:56,678 --> 01:31:57,678
Yeah.

2085
01:31:57,762 --> 01:31:59,930
You know my name.
Say it again.

2086
01:32:00,015 --> 01:32:01,181
Nick

2087
01:32:01,266 --> 01:32:02,683
- Webber.
- Yeah.

2088
01:32:03,727 --> 01:32:05,602
Grab that.
I'll take this one.

2089
01:32:06,104 --> 01:32:07,896
Hey, Mom.
I made you a drink.

2090
01:32:08,189 --> 01:32:09,690
Is there alcohol in that?

2091
01:32:09,774 --> 01:32:11,442
Yeah, I believe
there's still alcohol in scotch.

2092
01:32:13,486 --> 01:32:14,987
Talk about your
lost weekend, huh?

2093
01:32:15,071 --> 01:32:16,947
I know, right? Man.

2094
01:32:17,657 --> 01:32:19,658
Hey, family.

2095
01:32:20,952 --> 01:32:22,578
What are you faggots talking about?

2096
01:32:22,746 --> 01:32:24,621
My two handsome men.

2097
01:32:24,789 --> 01:32:26,707
Let me get you another drink, Dad.

2098
01:32:27,459 --> 01:32:29,084
Daddy's little buddy.

2099
01:32:30,795 --> 01:32:32,421
You know what I can't believe?

2100
01:32:32,797 --> 01:32:34,423
I can't believe we're all here.

2101
01:32:34,591 --> 01:32:36,133
I can't believe we all made it.

2102
01:32:36,634 --> 01:32:37,801
Made it together.

2103
01:32:38,136 --> 01:32:39,470
- A toast.
- A toast.

2104
01:32:39,554 --> 01:32:41,889
Approximately three days ago, or 20 years,

2105
01:32:41,973 --> 01:32:44,808
depending on your understanding
of the time-space continuum, Jacob,

2106
01:32:45,852 --> 01:32:48,520
sitting here with you guys
would have been my worst nightmare.

2107
01:32:48,605 --> 01:32:49,855
It's true.

2108
01:32:49,939 --> 01:32:51,774
But I can honestly say right now

2109
01:32:52,233 --> 01:32:56,070
I'm very happy to be right here
in this moment with you,

2110
01:32:56,446 --> 01:32:57,988
- my best friends.
- Hear, hear.

2111
01:32:58,073 --> 01:32:59,114
To friends.

2112
01:32:59,199 --> 01:33:00,240
And family.

2113
01:33:00,700 --> 01:33:01,825
All right. Cheers!

2114
01:33:01,993 --> 01:33:03,368
To past, present and future.

2115
01:33:03,661 --> 01:33:05,412
Cheers!

2116
01:33:05,497 --> 01:33:06,455
So, "Lougle," huh?

2117
01:33:06,539 --> 01:33:07,581
Yeah.

2118
01:33:07,665 --> 01:33:11,001
Lougle. Just this multibillion-dollar
thing I did for a while.

2119
01:33:11,795 --> 01:33:15,005
My real passion's music, though.
So pissed the band broke up.

2120
01:33:15,173 --> 01:33:17,508
Band? What band
were you ever in?

2121
01:33:29,312 --> 01:33:32,689
¢Ü You know I'm a dreamer ¢Ü

2122
01:33:32,857 --> 01:33:36,068
¢Ü But my heart's of gold ¢Ü

2123
01:33:36,319 --> 01:33:39,279
¢Ü I had to run away high ¢Ü

2124
01:33:39,364 --> 01:33:41,907
¢Ü So I wouldn't come home low ¢Ü

2125
01:33:42,033 --> 01:33:45,119
¢Ü Just when things went right ¢Ü

2126
01:33:45,203 --> 01:33:48,122
¢Ü Doesn't mean
they were always wrong ¢Ü

2127
01:33:48,456 --> 01:33:52,668
¢Ü Just take this song
and you'll never feel ¢Ü

2128
01:33:52,836 --> 01:33:54,711
¢Ü Left all alone ¢Ü

2129
01:33:54,796 --> 01:33:57,840
¢Ü Take me to your heart ¢Ü

2130
01:33:58,174 --> 01:34:00,801
¢Ü Feel me in your bones ¢Ü

2131
01:34:00,885 --> 01:34:03,048
¢Ü Just one more night ¢Ü

2132
01:34:03,049 --> 01:34:07,850
¢Ü And I'm coming off this
long and winding road ¢Ü

2133
01:34:10,854 --> 01:34:16,525
¢Ü I'm on my way ¢Ü

2134
01:34:16,609 --> 01:34:20,070
¢Ü Home sweet home ¢Ü

2135
01:34:21,072 --> 01:34:23,323
¢Ü Tonight, tonight ¢Ü

2136
01:34:23,491 --> 01:34:28,996
¢Ü I'm on my way ¢Ü

2137
01:34:29,205 --> 01:34:32,249
¢Ü Home sweet home ¢Ü

2138
01:34:35,920 --> 01:34:38,881
¢Ü You know that I've seen ¢Ü

2139
01:34:39,048 --> 01:34:41,675
¢Ü Too many romantic dreams ¢Ü

2140
01:34:42,510 --> 01:34:43,927
¢Ü Up in lights ¢Ü

2141
01:34:44,012 --> 01:34:47,723
¢Ü falling off the silver screen ¢Ü

2142
01:34:48,391 --> 01:34:50,851
¢Ü My heart's like an open book ¢Ü

2143
01:34:51,269 --> 01:34:54,062
¢Ü For the whole world to read ¢Ü

2144
01:34:54,522 --> 01:34:58,692
¢Ü Sometimes nothing keeps me together ¢Ü

2145
01:34:58,776 --> 01:35:00,527
¢Ü at the seams ¢Ü

2146
01:35:00,612 --> 01:35:06,533
¢Ü I'm on my way ¢Ü

2147
01:35:06,618 --> 01:35:10,370
¢Ü Home sweet home ¢Ü

2148
01:35:11,456 --> 01:35:12,706
¢Ü Yeah ¢Ü

2149
01:35:13,625 --> 01:35:16,126
¢Ü I'm on my way ¢Ü

2150
01:35:16,294 --> 01:35:18,962
¢Ü Just set me free ¢Ü

2151
01:35:19,130 --> 01:35:24,134
¢Ü Home sweet home ¢Ü

2152
01:35:27,134 --> 01:35:29,134
English - daejang