(Pool balls clatter,
low hum of people chatter)
Biker: Hey! Where do you
think you're going?
Come back here!
You took my money!
Where does he think he's going?
Why are you going so fast, huh?
Where you going?
♪♪♪
♪ Whenever I'm asked who
makes my dreams real ♪
♪ I say that you do
(You're outta sight) ♪
♪ So fee-fi-fo-fum ♪
♪ Look out baby
'cause here I come ♪
Biker: Hey buddy, you scared?
♪ Get ready
'cause here I come ♪
- It's just...
(Engine coughs, splutters)
- Come on, come on, come on!
Oh, you're flooding it,
hurry up, man!
- I'm not flooding it!
(Engine splutters, dies)
- Come on!
- Sh...
- What are you doing?
What are you doing?!
(Gunshot booms, tire hisses)
(Explosion booms, men scream)
- Whooo!
- Let's go!
(Tires squeal)
(Fire crackles)
(Malcolm and Tyrell
laugh wildly)
♪ And I'm bringing you
a love that's true ♪
♪ So get ready,
so get ready ♪
♪ And I'm bringing you
a love that's true ♪
♪ So get ready,
so get ready ♪
♪ I'm gonna try to make you
love me too ♪
♪ So get ready,
so get ready ♪
♪ 'Cause here I come ♪
♪ 'Cause here I come
I'm on my way ♪
Clara: Maya, what with your
fiancee coming tomorrow,
and all these wedding plans,
you must be... (sighs)
goin' out of your mind.
- Yeah, but I don't even know
what this guy looks like.
I haven't even seen a picture.
- Yeah, you've been
holding out on us.
- Oh, I-I just don't have any.
- (Gasps) Grandma,
what're you doing?
- It still fits.
All: Awww! What?!
(All laughing)
- You look beautiful, Ms. Rose.
- I've been saving it
for you, honey.
We'll get you a fitting later.
- (All laugh)
- Carry on.
(All laugh)
April: I love it!
Clara: Baby, it's all good.
We don't even have to look
for a dress for you after all.
(Cousins chuckle)
(Birds chirp, dog barks)
(Pool balls clatter, thud)
- Honey, I've been looking
all over for you!
- Yeah well, I've been playing.
- Did you cash your paycheque?
- Yeah.
- Remember, 'cause you promised
me we'd get some things
for the baby when you got
home from work.
- Yeah um, just... just gimme
a minute, honey.
- We good?
- Yeah, yeah.
Play, let's go.
(Mournful jazz music plays,
people chatter quietly)
(Pool balls thud)
- (Sighs)
- (Sighs heavily)
Tyrell: Good game.
- Hey, babe...
Babe!
(Money rustles)
- It is a big man's game.
Radio announcer: Good morning
Southern California brides,
we will be speaking to South
Bay's top wedding planner,
for tips on how to overcome
bride fright--
(Maya switches stations,
loud music plays)
♪ Oooh gone ♪
♪ Ooh baby ♪
♪ Crying waitin' on you
in the rain ♪
♪ And it feels like
it's been hours ♪
♪ Once again you were late
oooh ♪
(Truck rumbles)
(Bell on door jingles,
radio plays same song)
♪ And it hurts too much
to stay ♪
♪ So I'm done ♪
(gone)
♪ Gone ♪
(gone)
♪ So gone ♪
(Gone)
♪ And I won't be comin' back
baby I'm gone ♪
- What can I get you?
- Just coffee.
(Bell on door jingles)
(Coffee sloshes)
(Spoons clink)
- Hi, can I get a coffee too,
please? Thanks.
Uh, do you know what time
it is, real quick?
- I'd like to be left alone,
if you don't mind.
- Uh, I was actually talking
to the waiter.
- It's 10:30.
- Thanks, bro.
- Sorry.
- Oh, are you talking
to me now?
- I overreacted and I'm sorry.
- Yeah, don't mention it,
it's all good.
You wanna be by yourself,
I get it.
Most guys see a girl sitting
by themselves,
they think it's an open
invitation...
to come on over, trust me,
I ain't like that, all right?
- Well, thank you for being
so understanding.
- Yeah, don't mention it.
You can just go on over there,
sit by yourself,
and I'm gonna sit over here
by myself, okay?
And then we're gonna make out
like none of this even happened.
Oh, you see that?
You keep smiling like that,
you're gonna give me
the wrong impression,
and you know what that
leads to, right?
(Chuckles)
- I'm just having
a really bad day.
- Well listen, I'm all ears
if you wanna talk about it.
All right?
- So I was a few minutes late,
and my dad just goes off on me,
like as if he can tell me
what I can do!
- Like, I mean, like, it sounds
to me like you and your pops
have like some like serious,
serious conflict
that you guys gotta work out.
- Whose side are you on?
- I'm with you, girl,
I'm with you. Keep going.
- All I said was that
he's a nice guy...
Maya: It all started
about a month ago,
when I told my dad about a trip
I was taking.
- Oh, by the way,
I've decided to take
a trip to Africa.
- "By the way?" That's it?
- I need inspiration.
- For what? (Laughs)
- No offense Dad, but I didn't
go to art school
so that I could work
in your hardware store.
- One day Johnson's Hardware
Store is gonna be all yours.
Think about that.
- I wanna be an artist.
- No one's saying you can't
do your art.
But I don't see how art's going
to put food on the table.
- Baby, do you think that
going to Africa
is going to give you
inspiration?
- Yes, I do, Grandma.
- Then I think it's a great
idea.
- So, how long are you
going for?
- Um, she's not going.
- Three weeks.
- Did you hear what I just said?
- Well, it's too late, 'cause
I already bought my ticket.
I leave next Friday.
- You're not going.
- Why not?
- A young woman traveling alone,
I mean, anything could happen!
- You're just upset because I
didn't ask you first.
- That's right, you should've
asked me first!
- What's the point of asking
you, if I already know
What you're gonna say?!
- Because you don't make
those kinds of decisions
without talking about it!
- Okay, whoa, whoa, girl,
you need to just calm down
for a second, all right?
You should chill out.
You need to have a heart
to heart with your father.
- You don't have a heart
to heart with my father.
He dictates, and you listen.
- Well, just... keep going,
what happened next?
- Well, I'm going,
and that's it.
- And I say you're not!
- Watch me!
- Can you believe her?
(Airplane whooshes)
♪♪♪
(Tires squeal)
(Low hum of chatter)
♪ I don't wanna stop
this fight ♪
♪ Though I'm smiling through
bloodshot eyes ♪
♪ In this moment
I'm dreaming wild ♪
♪ So wild ♪
♪ And in my heart
I'm dreaming wild ♪
♪ Sleeping oh, believe it ♪
♪ I don't wanna stop
this fight... ♪
(People chatter loudly)
- (Sighs heavily)
(Camera shutter clicks)
- Do I owe you money?
- Excuse me?
- Do I owe you money?
- I don't understand.
- You're staring at me.
(Laughs) That's very rude.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
I was...
looking the mural that is
just behind you.
- Oh, sorry.
- I can understand.
A woman as beautiful as
yourself must get much staring.
I'm so sorry, perhaps
it would be better
if I moved to another table.
- No, no, it's fine.
(Laughs)
(Dishes clink)
- Yebo.
- Yeah, it's beautiful.
- Mtumbie Bamburi.
- Oh, Maya Johnson.
(Chuckles)
(Laughs)
♪ Better bring your heart
to believing ♪
♪ Sing a song ♪
(it'll make your day)
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Life ain't
about no retrieving ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
(it'll make a way)
♪ Give yourself what you need ♪
♪ Sing a song ♪
(it'll make your day)
♪ Smile, smile,
smile and believe ♪
♪ Sing a song ♪
(it'll make your day)
♪ Sing a song ♪
(sing, sing, sing, sing)
♪ Sing a song ♪
(sing a song)
♪ Sing, sing, sing, sing ♪
(sing a song)
Maya: So they were three
of the most romantic
weeks of my life.
He really swept me off my feet.
Things never moved this fast
for me before.
I didn't know where
it was going.
- This room is so amazing.
- I could see you doing very
beautiful paintings here.
We could clear out all
of this furniture,
and put your easel just there,
by the window.
- Oh... yeah,
that would be perfect.
I can just see the--
my easel?
- Will you marry me,
Maya Johnson?
- (Gasps, laughs)
But we hardly know each other!
- I know it is sudden,
but love does not know time,
it knows only the heart.
And my heart is telling me
you're the one
for whom I've waited
my whole life.
- Whoa, those Africans
move fast, huh?
Quick, quick, quick,
quick, quick.
- (Sighs)
- Sorry, go ahead.
- So naturally, I call my
family to break the good news.
- You ready to come home?
Maya: Aunt Clara, you remember
when I told you
about the guy, Mtumbie, that
I met when I first got here?
- I do.
- Well...
we're getting married.
- What-w-w-what do you mean,
getting married?
- Mtumbie asked me
to marry him!
- Who the hell's Mtumbie?
- I've been talking about him
the entire time I've been here.
- He's the nice man that
was taking her around,
showing her the sights,
remember?
- Dad, when you meet him,
you will love him.
Ed: Look Maya,
I was young once.
I-I know what it's like.
You go off to some far off
exotic country,
and everything seems new
and exciting.
But trust me,
it ain't gonna last.
- Ed!
- Well, first of all, this
is not some spring break fling,
and secondly,
we're getting married,
like it, or not.
- (Laughs) You're pulling
my leg, right?
- I'll take that as your way
of saying congratulations.
- Let me-let me get
this straight.
This guy is uh, this guy
is African, right?
- Yeah, do you have
a problem with that?
- N-no, I'm just trying
to get the big picture.
- I thought you wanted me
to settle down,
and get married.
- What's really happening here?
This guy, he needs a green
card, or something?
- Okay, for your information,
he is very wealthy,
and he certainly does not need
any green card!
- You're not getting married,
and that's all I have to say.
- Well, it's my decision
to make,
and we're getting married,
like it or not!
- I want you to get on the next
plane, and come home,
and I don't want to hear
any more about it!
- I will come home when
I'm good and ready!
Clara: Maya, listen,
your father means well.
It's just that he's surprised
by this news, that's all, and--
- And-and another thing is,
as long as you're under my roof
you're gonna do what I say,
when I say it and that's--
- Oh! (Scoffs)
(Dial tone sounds)
- What?
- Wow, so what'd your mom
have to say about it?
- Um, she passed away
when I was twelve.
- Oh... uh, I'm sorry
to hear that.
- But I have an aunt
who's like a mom,
and she is all for it.
So I went to Mtumbie
to cry on his shoulder...
Mtumbie?
(Fountain splashes)
(Moaning, grunting sounds)
Mtumbie: Ohhh!
- Mtumbie?
(Mtumbie gasps)
- Qui est elle?
- Oh! Uh...
- (Gasps)
- Ooh! Damn!
I mean, sorry.
Mtumbie: Maya, wait!
Let me explain,
she doesn't speak English,
There was a misunderstanding!
She doesn't understand
the word no!
Please!
♪ What do you get
when you fall in love ♪
♪ A guy with a pin
to burst your bubble ♪
♪ That's what you get
for all your trouble ♪
- (Sobbing)
♪ I'll never fall
in love again ♪
♪ I'll never fall
in love again ♪
(Car door slams)
- (Groans)
(Cell phone rings)
(Sobs)
♪ I'll never fall
in love again ♪
♪ Don't you know that
I'll never fall in love again ♪
(Airplane roars)
♪ I'll never fall
in love again... ♪
- So I got on the next
plane home.
Malcom: Hey look, you're
a really beautiful girl.
Okay? Any guy with eyes
can see that.
For sure, no, seriously.
And it's his loss, not yours.
- Yeah well, that's not
the half of it.
(Airplane whooshes)
Clara: Maya!
Man on P.A.: Flight 442
is arriving at Gate 33.
Clara: Awww!
Welcome home!
Mmm, I missed you.
Mmm!
- So... where is he?
- Um, Mtumbie's not coming.
- Oh, thank God you came
to your senses, girl.
(Chuckles)
Not that I would've let you
go through with this, anyway.
- Ed, just stop.
- What, what, what?
Listen, you're not the first
woman to be taken advantage of.
- Who said anyone took
advantage of me?
- He's not here, is he?
(Sighs) Look, I told you
it wasn't gonna work out.
- For your information,
he's coming...
next week.
- He is?
- Mhmm.
He had some very important
business to finish,
and then he will be here
on Saturday.
- Really?
- Huh!
- Yep, really!
- Oh! (Laughs)
Malcolm: Hold on.
Wait, you didn't tell 'em
that you called it off?
- And give my dad
the satisfaction
of seeing me fall flat
on my face?
- Yeah, well, he's gonna find
out one way or another.
- (Sighs heavily)
Yeah. Well, thank you
for listening.
- Hey, no problem.
And I'll take the cheque, too.
(Door bell jingles)
Wow.
- Someone ripped us off!
- What?
- Someone broke into
our hotel room,
and stole my damn boots!
- Uh, hold on, you got beat
for a pair of boots?
- That's where I stashed
the cash!
- I thought you were
in the room the whole time.
Huh?
- I was sleeping.
- You were sleeping?
- Yeah.
- Like a baby?
- Where the hell were you?
- What are you, five years old?
- What is--
- Hey!
- Thank you for what you did.
When my husband told me,
I couldn't believe it.
You're a saint.
- Eh, listen, I don't know what
you're talking about, woman.
You have yourself a good day,
okay? Thank you.
- From the pool hall,
yesterday.
- Uh-ah-ah! Uh uh uh!
- Hmm?
- You know what,
hey, you tripping.
Okay, you should go on
about your business,
or I'm gonna call the police.
- Okay...
- Yes, now, thank you.
- So what is it that you do
for Farmer Brown
that she's not gonna forget?
- (Nervous chuckle) Man...
Oh, come on, Ty,
you know she's like,
the girl is crazy.
Have some coffee, relax.
- Are you nuts? Huh?
That was my money!
My money!
- Listen to me, all right--
- I saved over three grand
in that damn boot!
- Look, we'll get it back,
okay?
It's not that big of a deal.
- (Laughs humourlessly)
- Hey Ty, Ty.
- Not that big of a deal...
- Ty, where you going, man?
Hey Ty, come on, where you--
- You're a dead man.
You're a dead man, Malcolm.
(Door slams)
- Oh my God.
(Blinds rattle)
Oh no!
(Panicked breathing) Oh!
Oh shit.
(Dishes clink)
Oh! Come on!
(Dishes clatter)
- Where'd he go?
Where's the back door?
Waiter: I don't want
any trouble,
I don't want to call
the police.
- Where's the back door?
- Through the kitchen.
- Oof! Ohhh...
(Coughs)
(Gas pump rattles)
(Malcolm pants heavily)
(Rustles)
(Gasping for breath)
Maya: Here you go.
(Footsteps thud)
(Truck door slams)
(Keys jingle)
(Engine turns)
- Hey!
(Engine rumbles)
Hey!
(Truck roars)
(Car engine roars)
(Thumping sound)
Malcolm: Ow!
- Oh my God! Aah! Aah!
- Hey, hey, shh!
Shh, shh, shh! It's me,
it's me, from the diner.
- What are you doing
in my truck?!
- Just don't stop,
I will explain later,
just keep on driving, okay?
- Okay, you can have my truck,
and there's money in my wallet,
just please don't hurt me!
- I don't want your money,
I don't want your truck!
Just please,
don't slow down, okay?
If he catches up to us,
I'm a dead man, okay?
- If who catches up to us?
- The guy in the orange car
behind us.
(Car rumbles)
He's got a gun,
and he's after me!
- Wait, why-why is he
after you?
- Because he thinks I stole
his money.
- What-what? Did you?
- No! No.
Gosh!
Sort of. Sort of, sort of.
- What do you mean, sort of?
Just keep talkin'!
- Okay look,
I met him at a pool hall
in Montreal,
and we were both headed west,
that's it.
- Wait, you're Canadian?
You don't sound Canadian!
- I was born in Montreal,
raised in Jersey,
he's Canadian too, all right?
- Oh, so a Canadian
with a gun is after you?
No, that does not sound right.
- We're just a bunch
of pool hustlers!
- You're a pool hustler?
- It's a long story,
but please,
you've gotta help me!
- Why should I?
- Why should you?
(Laughs) I mean, he's only
got a gun, right?
Sure, no big deal.
(Gasps) What if I helped
with your problem?
- What problem?
What're you talking about?
- Your folks think your
fiancee's coming.
And we both know that ain't
gonna happen, hm?
- Are you saying what I think
that you're saying?
- Yes! I'm your man!
- Okay, my fiancee is African.
- Yeah, but where do you think
the "African"
in "African-American"
comes from, huh?
Hm, now I got you thinking.
- (Sighs) Okay, hold on.
(Engine roars)
(Truck whooshes by)
(Tires squeal)
(Truck accelerates loudly)
(Birds chirp)
(Car rumbles)
(Rumble fades away)
(Plane rumbles)
(Passengers chatter)
- Honey, don't be so nervous.
You look beautiful.
(Maya sighs)
(Passengers chatter)
- Oh God, I'm such an idiot.
Why don't I learn?
- Honey, I don't think
there's anyone left.
Maybe he missed his flight.
- Maybe he's come
to his senses.
- Ed, I mean it.
- Well look, he's not here,
is he?
- Yeah, maybe you're right.
- Well, that's the first
sensible thing you've said
since you reached puberty.
- (Sighs) Aunt Clara,
there's something I should...
probably tell you.
- I uh...
- Uhmbowa tomobmba!
It is I...
Mtumbie,
your future son in-law.
- Oh!
- This is for you.
- For me?
- Yes, open it, please.
- Oh, okay, um...
uh... um, a spoon!
- Yes.
- Yes, no problem.
Oh my goodness!
Oh you are so beautiful, huh?
- Oh, thank you!
You are making my heart beat
like African drum.
- Oh, thank you.
- I see where beauty runs
in the family, Maya.
My goodness! (Laughs)
Wow, is this the-- yes!
King Lion, come here.
- Ah, it's okay.
- Oh, good meeting you.
- Yeah.
It is an honour to meet you,
sir.
- I'm sure it is.
- What are you waiting for,
go to him!
- Hi, baby. Hi.
- Hi!
- Mm. Mm. Mm.
(Clara gasps)
Mm. Mm. Ah.
Ooh, strawberries.
- (Laughs uncomfortably)
Um...
look at her, she's speechless!
- Well, that's a first.
- Ed, get--
Come, come.
- Get a room.
- Oh! Come!
- Coming, coming.
- Ed!
Grandma Rose: Hello!
Malcolm: Oh!
- Welcome.
- Oh, thank you.
Maya: This is my Grandma Rose.
- Oh! It is so nice
to meet you.
- Well, it's so nice
to meet you.
(Both laugh)
- Wow. Wow...
Clara: So, Mtumbie, I know
you must be exhausted
from that long trip,
and we've got a spare room
for you upstairs.
- Oh yeah, that's a good idea.
So let's go get you
set up upstairs.
- Uh, wait, um...
if you're not too tired,
there's a Tarzan marathon
running on TV tonight.
- Dad!
- What? I mean, if you think
it'll make you homesick,
you don't have to watch.
- I love Tarzan.
He is a national hero
in Africa.
- Really?
- Really, yes.
(Laughs)
I'm sorry, it is a joke.
- Oh!
(All laugh)
- Yes! (Laughs)
LOL!
- Oh, you got me.
- Yes.
- Well, your man's got
a sense of humour,
maybe it'll rub off on you.
- Ooh. Wow.
You could fit an entire village
in your kitchen.
(All laugh)
Wow.
It's a zebra pattern wood.
Black and white.
Clara: Yes, yes, it is,
isn't it.
- That's something.
- Mhmm.
- Here you go.
(Suitcase thuds)
So...
what's with the accent?
- It's African.
- It's not African.
I don't know what it is,
but it's not South African.
And also, I told you
to buy a suit!
What's with the... robes?
- Haven't you seen
"Coming To America?"
Oh, come on.
- My God, you are as bad
as my father.
Make yourself at home.
(Door latch clicks)
- (Breathes deeply, groans)
(Dogs bark, muffled chatter,
music playing)
(Gasps)
Oh!
(Clara laughs)
- Aunt Clara, how could you
let me sleep in?
I'm supposed to open
the Rocky Point store!
- Well honey, that's the last
thing you need to think about
is the store, did you forget...
you have a wedding
in one week?
- No, I didn't forget.
- Well, I have Mike
covering for you,
so everything is fine.
Not to worry about it.
- It looks like somebody got
their freak on last night.
Hilary: Excuse me!
Did I teach you
to talk like that?
- I'm just saying.
- Maybe if you minded your
manners,
you'd be the one with a man.
- Hilary!
- Mom!
- I'm just saying.
- Okay, maybe I should go up
and check on Mtumbie, then.
- Oh, he's been up for hours.
He's out front
with your father.
- He's with dad?
- Mhmm.
Oh, and... (Chuckles)
your uncle Rufus
is on his way over.
(Hilary guffaws)
- When I told him you were
marrying an African,
he was so thrilled.
You know he considers himself
an expert on Africa.
(All laugh)
- He ain't been nowhere near
Africa, honey.
Hilary: He probably can't
even spell Africa.
Clara: You know he's coming
over with a dashiki on, watch!
- That he got from Wal-mart.
- Oh!
That's wrong Mamma,
that is just wrong.
(Ladysmith Black Mambazo sings)
♪♪♪
(Rufus laughs)
(Speaking in Zulu)
Maya: Uncle Rufus!
- Hi there!
- Hi! Hi.
- Hey, hi. Yeah.
- So glad you could make it.
So I see that you've met
my fiancee, Mtumbie.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It is a pleasure to meet you,
Uncle Rufus.
(All laugh uncomfortably)
- My uncle here is a kind of
an Afrophile.
- Ah!
- I have to brush up
on my Zulu a little bit,
because ah, I don't think
Mtumbie knew what I said.
- Oh well, that is because
I do not speak Zulu.
- I thought Ndebele spoke Zulu.
- Oh, that is because I am not
from South Africa.
- Oh.
- I actually moved to South
Africa recently,
I am from Nigeria!
All: Oh! (Laughing)
- Oh, okay, I got the accent.
- Yes.
- Uh, Yoruba, is that right?
- Yes it is right, yes.
- Yes, ah.
(Speaking in Yoruba)
- Very impressive!
(Laughs)
If I did not know any better,
I would say you were
from my village.
- Oh, thank you.
- No problem, uncle Rufus.
- Look, if I don't fix
this smoker,
we're not gonna have any
lunch at all.
- Ed, you should've took
my advice and got that
double lined vacuum seal
smoker, like the one I have.
It takes half the time,
and twice the flavor.
- Is there anything you're not
an expert at?
I thought so.
- That's just my opinion.
- Hm...
♪♪♪
(Waves crash)
- You know what, I must say,
I can't wait for this wedding.
Now are you guys gonna do
the traditional
Yoruba ceremony?
- No, we're just gonna have
a simple ceremony.
- But what about the Asun?
- Huh?
- I mean, why would you do
a wedding without getting
the blessings of your
ancestors, with the Asun?
- Uncle, you are right.
- Yeah!
- We will have a Asun, we will
not disappoint the ancestors.
Okay, we will have an Asun.
- That's right!
- What-what...
what's an Asun?
- Uncle, why don't you
explain to the family
what exactly is an Asun.
- Okay, yeah.
The Asun is a traditional
ceremony...
where the groom takes a knife,
and slits the goat's throat.
- Oh no!
- And then spills the blood
as an offering to the ancestors,
so the wedding can be blessed.
- Yes. You see?
It is simple, we'll take
the goat's head,
you slit the throat,
and then you-
okay, did you say a live,
like, a live goat?
Baa? Live?
- Yeah.
How else would you present
warm blood to your ancestors?
- Okay, there's not gonna be
any bloodletting at my wedding.
Okay?
- Thank you.
- Of course not, my princess.
We will not have any killing
of the goat.
- I'm glad we got that settled
without calling the UN.
April: All right everybody,
come and take a picture with me
while the light's still good.
All right, get close together
now. All right, perfect.
- Mtumbie, you know we can't
wait to meet your family.
- He doesn't have a family.
- Yes.
- What?
- Well, he's an orphan.
All: Oh.
- Well, you know what,
you got family now.
- Right.
- Oh, thank you, Mrs. Johnson.
- Just call me mom.
- Thank you, mom.
- Call me G-Mom.
- Oh, thank you, G-Mom.
- Call me Ed.
- All right, say cheese.
(Camera clicks)
(Crickets chirp, dog barks)
- I have lost my mind.
I'm never gonna get away
with this.
- Hey look, if you want
to call this quits,
that's fine with me, girl.
- What? No, no!
You can't leave now.
How would I explain that?
- I don't know, say that
we got into an argument,
and that-oh yeah, I'm calling
off the wedding.
- Have you not been listening
to anything
that I have told you? That is
exactly what my dad expects!
No, no.
There is gonna be a wedding.
- I thought you just wanted me
to be your fiancee.
- (Inhales sharply)
I've got it!
After the wedding, you...
die!
- (Laughs)
You know, this is starting
to sound
way too whacked for me, girl.
- Oh, no, no.
No, no, no. This is good.
This is good, okay, okay,
this is what's gonna happen:
after the wedding,
we're gonna tell my family that
we're going on our honeymoon
back to your home in Africa.
So then I will come home
and I will announce
that you have drowned
in a boating accident.
- Drowned in a boating
accident...
- And then it's over
and done with,
I'm a respectable widow.
- Okay look, you didn't say
nothin' about no drowning or--
- Oh, you don't really drown,
you're just gonna fake it.
- Fake it. Listen, I met
your family, girl,
and they seem like some nice,
regular black folk.
But what the hell
happened to you?
- (Scoffs) I saw that guy
who was after you.
If I had left you back there,
you'd be dead for real.
You owe me.
- Whoo! You're a piece of work,
you know that?
- I'm goin' to bed.
See you in the morning.
(Door slams)
- And I can swim, by the way.
- (Yawning) Hi.
- So we have to hurry, we have
a nine o'clock appointment.
And... oh, shoot.
We'll just grab some food
later, okay?
Malcolm: (Singing) Day-O!
Me say day me say day
me say day me say day...
- Ah... mmph!
- Mm, strawberries.
Good morning, sweetheart.
- Good morning.
- Good morning, Mtumbie.
- Good morning, ladies.
- So, listen.
Maya and I have to make a run
but Ed is out back,
and I told him to show you
around while we're gone.
- Oh no, no, no, he can
come with us.
- No honey, don't be silly.
It's bad luck for the groom
to see the wedding dress.
- Mhmm.
- Okay?
And he needs to spend time
with your father.
- Um...
- Okay?
- Okay.
- It's good.
- Bye.
- Goodbye, ladies.
- Have a good day.
- You too.
- Okay, come on.
- Uh, we won't be long, right?
- We've gotta look at flowers,
and then you've gotta help me
pick a dress!
(Tools rattle)
- Good morning, Ed.
- Morning.
- It is a such a beautiful
day today, huh?
(Both chuckle)
So, what is it you
are building?
- A workshop.
(Boards clank)
(Ed grunts)
- I got it.
- Come on. Okay.
(Hammers thud)
- (Grunts)
I'm gonna go down
and get a beer.
You want one?
- Yes, Ed. Thank you.
- Okay.
(Hammers thud)
(Hammer thuds)
(Door creaks, bangs)
- That boy is good
with his hands.
Ed: Yeah...
who'dve thunk it.
(Laughs softly)
Clara: Okay, watch the box.
Maya: Okay.
- Yeah, I'll take these.
- Okay.
- Great.
- Good.
Got it?
- Whew! Okay.
Wow, we got a lot of stuff.
- Well, we need every bit
of it.
(Car door slams)
- Oh, look what I see!
Malcolm: Hello, ladies.
- How you doing?
- Good, good.
Hi, Maya.
(Chuckles)
Hi.
- (Laughs) Hey there!
- Hi.
- Hey, Naomi. Ahem!
- Girl, let me get that
for you.
♪♪♪
(Drill whirs)
- (Gasps, moans)
(Groans)
(Drill whirs)
Clara: What you lookin' at?
- Now, I like him.
He reminds me of a young
Denzel Washington.
He's got those same wonderful
eyes.
Mmm-mm-mm!
(Drill whirs)
- E Karo!
- (Chuckles)
- What?
- Eh, what was it?
- E Karo.
- E Karo!
That means good morning
in Yoruba.
(Chuckles)
She's not a morning person.
How do you say "killjoy?"
- Another time.
Finish, finish.
(Both laugh)
Clara: Oh, I gotta go.
I have to go look
at wedding cakes.
- No, no, Aunt Clara,
I told you,
I just wanna keep
things simple.
- Honey, you have
to have a cake.
Now, I know they have wedding
cakes in Africa.
Don't they?
- Anyway, stop talking
to her about weddings.
She don't know nothing
about weddings!
She ain't never been married.
Just do what you're supposed
to do.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Grandmamma loves you, honey.
But hush your mouth, all right?
(All laugh)
- Yes, these are
the dimensions,
and we'll put 'em here,
and here.
So the solar panels will be
arriving in two weeks.
Are you sure you can
install them?
- Oh, that is no problem.
- Wait, what's this about
solar panels in two weeks?
- Well, my future
son in-law here
will be putting in solar panels
when you two come back
from the honeymoon.
- Oh...
can I talk to you outside
for a second?
- Now?
- Mhmm.
- Okay.
(Malcolm sighs)
- What are you doing?
- What?
- You have my dad ordering
solar panels that he thinks
you're gonna install when we
come back from our honeymoon.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I've done 'em before.
- You're not coming back from
our honeymoon, remember?
- Oh yeah, I knew that.
Right.
Uh... I was just trying
to be convincing.
I mean, isn't that
the whole idea?
- I never asked for my dad
to like you.
I actually preferred it
when he didn't.
- Well, I'm just trying
to be myself.
- You're not supposed
to be yourself,
you're supposed to be Mtumbie!
(Groans)
- Where you going?
- I just need to be by myself
for a little.
(Seagulls cry)
(Waves crash)
(Maya sighs)
Do you not understand the
meaning of the word alone,
or do I have to say it
in Yoruba?
- (Laughs)
That's-that's funny.
(Waves crash)
(Seagulls cry)
♪♪♪
(Malcolm sighs)
(Both sigh)
- Can I ask you something?
- Like I have a choice.
- What kind of paintings
do you do?
- Oh.
Well, I haven't painted
in a while.
- And why is that?
- I've just got some stuff
I need to figure out.
- What kind of stuff?
- I don't know.
But when I get out of South Bay,
I'll figure it out.
- Why? What's wrong
with South Bay?
Why can't you just paint here?
It's beautiful.
- I'm not inspired here.
I just hit a wall.
- But this is where
you're from.
Where your pops, aunt,
G-mamma...
I mean, look at this.
Doesn't this account
for something?
- Maybe it's just me.
That's why I went off
to Africa,
to experience something
different.
- Yeah, you sure did that,
for sure.
(Both laugh)
Where do you keep
your paint supplies?
- In the sunroom
at the back of the house.
Why?
- Just asking.
Ahh...
(Birds chirp)
♪♪♪
(Seagulls cry)
- What are you doing?
- Painting.
You said you couldn't
paint in South Bay,
so I wanted to see
how hard it was.
- You wouldn't be trying
to prove a point?
- Oh, me? No.
(Laughs)
- Right.
- Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!
Tut! Tut! Tut! Tut!
Tut! Tut!
I will show you when I am done.
- So are you still planning
on going to San Francisco
when we're...
done?
- I don't know.
I might just go back east.
Oof!
- How do you live like that?
Not having any direction.
- Ah, you just get used to it.
- Where's your family?
- I don't have none.
- You must have some family.
- Nope.
I'm an orphan.
- I am so sorry, I had no idea.
I totally made that up when
I said that to my family,
I just didn't want them
asking questions.
- Okay, hey, relax.
How could you have known?
- So how long have you been
an orphan?
That's a stupid question.
- Since I was four.
Yeah, my folks died
in a car crash.
Yeah, I had no close relatives
that wanted to take me in,
and so I was put up
for adoption.
But honestly, I think I was
kind of homely as a kid,
which didn't help.
(Both laugh)
I mean, you go into this place,
you got all these strangers,
and you're all like,
can you pick me?
Pick me, pick me!
And they just kinda smile,
and move on.
It's always those damn cute
ones
that always get to go first.
Uhh! (Splash)
- Well, it's their loss.
Because you couldn't be
more handsome now.
- (Laughs)
Hey! Hey!
- (Laughs)
- What?
It's not abstract enough
for you?
- (Laughs)
(Giggles)
- That's right, that's me,
and that's you.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
- Hold on.
- No, no, no.
(Giggles)
- Okay...
- Yes.
Whoops! I'm so... sorry.
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Oh, now you look
like a real artist.
Something's on your shirt.
Oh! Okay, you know...
(Both laugh)
- Yeah?
See, what're you doing? Oh!
- I'm just painting!
I'm trying to paint out here.
- Oh yeah? Oh! Oh!
Really nice.
(Both laugh)
- I am trying--
I'm a real artist.
- Hey, wait a minute!
(Both laugh)
Oh wow.
- Ah...
It's actually not that bad.
- Yeah, not bad. Hold on,
one-one little...
just one little touch, hold on.
Wow, green suits you.
- (Laughs)
- You're not bad in purple.
I think that...
we need to shower.
- Yeah.
(Both laugh)
- (Sighs)
It's all yours.
- Yeah, thanks, I'll--
- Where you going?
- To use the shower
in the house.
- Oh well, there's like,
more than enough room
in there for the two of us.
- In your dreams.
(Water splashes)
- (Whistling)
(Humming)
(Tap creaks)
- Oh, oh, oh, let me
get that for you.
- Huh? Oh! Aah!
- Better dry you off before
you catch a cold.
- Um-uh...
- I am fine,
but thank you very much.
- Okay yeah, I can see that.
You know what you need?
- Yes, my clothes.
- A woman who appreciates you.
♪♪♪
- Maya, she appreciates me
very, very much.
- Hmm, if I had a man like you,
there would only be one
thing on...
- Oh! Ah.
- my mind.
- Oh my, what do you think
you are doing?
- The way you looked at me
the other day.
I felt the sparks,
and so did you.
- Uh, uh, uh, uh! No, no, no,
no, you are her cousin!
- Once removed.
- Yeah, but we are getting
married in two days.
Two days.
- You can do a lot in two days.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I don't want that,
I am not that kind of a man.
Oh goodness! No!
- Look, it's obvious there's
nothing between you and Maya,
or you wouldn't have looked
at me like that.
- Looked at you?
No, no, no, it was a mistake.
- Mhmm.
- Okay, it was hot,
and I am sorry.
- I know, it was hot,
but the heat wasn't coming
from the sun,
if you know what I mean?
- No, no, no, no, no.
Maya and me, we have...
bumboya.
- Bumboya?
- Yes, bumboya.
It is when the Gods
put love in the hearts
of the man, and the woman,
and if anyone gets in between
their Bumboya,
they will be cursed forever!
(Snaps fingers)
- Whoa! Okay.
- Yes.
- Okay well, you can't knock
a girl for trying.
I didn't know you guys
had bumboya.
No hard feelings?
I guess I'll see you
at the wedding.
- Yes. Okay.
Bumboya!
Clara: So how many of the large
ones do you have?
- I have four.
- Oh, okay.
- But you could just
hang that one.
- Yeah, and then
if we need more,
we can always just get more.
Then we have enough of these.
Look, I don't want--
- Oh! Ouch.
Oh! Oh! Ah!
- Hi, ladies.
- Hi.
- Bye, ladies.
- Bye.
Well! I declare.
(Clara laughs)
- Okay...
(Sighs)
(Knocks)
(Door opens)
- Hey.
Whoa.
(Slams door)
Did I do something?
(Knocks)
I was--
(Rustling)
- What in the--
I think Maya just threw
the flowers out the window.
- What?
That's what she did.
Well, maybe it's some kind
of African custom.
- Why'd you do that?
- I just saw you with Naomi!
- Naomi? What?
- I warned you not to make
a pass at her!
- What are you talking about?
- I just saw you behind
the boathouse.
- You just saw me behind...
(Gasps) Oh! Mm-mm!
Mm-mm, it ain't like that,
honestly.
It was just a misunderstanding,
okay?
- You expect me to believe
that?
God!
(Sighs heavily)
What?
- You're jealous.
- Of what?
- Come on.
Admit it, you've got
feelings for me.
Mhmm.
- Feelings?
- Yeah.
- Yeah sure, I've got feelings.
Let's start with nausea,
repulsion,
not to mention pity.
- You've got it really bad.
Ooh!
- Oh, God! You know, you are
one twisted individual!
I couldn't care less if
you're interested in Naomi.
I'm sure she's your type.
After this honeymoon is over,
you're out of my life for good,
thank God, and you can go
and find some other Naomi
in some other town.
I'm sure they're easy to find.
(Footsteps stomp)
- Maya...
- Maya, what--
Wow! Um...
What is going on?
(Door slams)
- Hey! Hey, will you just
listen to me, please?
Oh great, where are you going?
- I'm taking a drive.
(Doors slam)
Get out!
- No.
- Get out of my car!
- No, I'm not getting out
until you listen to me.
- (Sighs)
Two more days and we're done.
You think you can keep it
in your pants until then?
Ed: Hey!
- Hi, dad.
- Clara wants to know
what you want for dinner.
She's invited your Aunt Hillary
and cousin Naomi over.
- Oh, that's too bad,
because we were just about
to go out to dinner.
- Okay.
- Nice.
(Car starts)
(Diners chatter)
- Hi, how are you all
doin' tonight?
- Good, could we get a table
for two, please?
- You're in luck, I've got
a table with a great view.
- Um, no, thank you.
We'll just take one that's
like, in the back.
- Sure.
(Patrons chatter)
- Thank you.
- Have a great evening.
- Thanks.
- Well, their jerk chicken
is good here.
- Oh, hot 'n spicy.
I didn't think
you'd be into that.
Look listen,
let me explain this, okay?
What happened over there
was not-- oh!
Come here right now, please.
Come here right now.
The guy that you helped me
get away from,
he's literally sitting
over there.
Why are you looking?
Don't look, please!
Can you just relax, please?
Calm down, all right?
What-- stop looking!
No, just pay attention, okay?
Just be cool, all right?
Just be cool!
(Panicked breathing)
Did he see me?
He didn't see me.
He didn't see me, right?
Did he see me?
No, stop, why do you keep
looking over there?
Would you stop moving, please?
Okay?
(Grunting with effort)
- What do I do?
- Act natural.
I went to the bathroom,
I left, something.
- Hey, hi.
Um, I guess I will be
eating alone.
- Okay.
♪♪♪
- (Sighs heavily)
(Thumping, rustling)
Oh! Ugh!
Man: (Laughs loudly)
He went right in there!
(Dishes clink)
- (Knocking)
Is he gone?
- No, he's still there.
It doesn't seem like
he's in much of a hurry.
So I should probably
order some dessert, and...
kill some more time
'til he leaves.
- Hey, can you do me a favor?
Can you send me down some food?
(Fork clinks)
Oh, I appreciate it.
That's it?
You ain't got nothing else?
Some rice and beans, anything?
- (Laughs)
- Oh, man!
Honestly, it felt like I was
under there for hours.
- Yeah, he's a slow eater.
- (Groans)
- What I wanna know is,
what happens if he actually
finds you?
- He's honestly just
passin' through town,
he's probably gonna be gone
by tomorrow.
(Groans) Ohhh!
- A pool hustler!
What is wrong with me?
(Engine turns)
- Oh, man!
♪♪♪
(Crickets chirp)
♪ If love is deeper ♪
♪ Deeper than all the seas ♪
♪ Bigger than you and me ♪
♪ Stronger than pride ♪
♪ And if it's meant to be ♪
♪ But we're just afraid ♪
♪ So we fight our own destiny ♪
♪ And keep it inside ♪
♪♪♪
♪ Walls are closing
in on us now ♪
♪ Are we so lost ♪
♪ We just can't be found ♪
♪ If only I would let myself ♪
♪ Feel what I feel ♪
♪ I'd lose my mind
and trust my heart ♪
♪ 'Cause this time it's real ♪
♪ If love is brighter ♪
♪ Brighter than any star ♪
♪ It loves you
for who you are ♪
♪ Then why do we hide? ♪
♪ And if forever ♪
♪ Means there's no space
or time ♪
♪ Then this is our moment now ♪
♪ Let's take it and fly ♪
♪ There's no wall that
love can't bring down ♪
♪ No fear
it can't turn around ♪
♪ If only I would let myself ♪
♪ Feel what I feel ♪
♪ I'd lose my mind
and trust my heart ♪
♪ 'Cause this time it's real ♪
(Crickets chirp)
(Malcolm sighs)
- Oh, Mtumbie.
It's awfully late to be
going out, ain't it?
- Oh, good evening, G-mamma.
Yes, I was just going
for a walk.
- Ah, with your suitcase?
- Yes.
Uh... yes, it is actually
African custom for the groom
to walk around the wife's
dwelling
with all of his belongings
to bring good luck.
- In America,
we call that "cold feet."
- (Clicks tongue)
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, sweetheart.
- (Laughs)
(People chatter, siren wails)
- All right! Drinks on me,
ladies.
- Oh no, I really
gotta get back.
- Oh, come on, there are really
cute guys at Hal's,
you might see something you
like and change your mind,
while you still can.
- I doubt that, have fun.
- All right.
- Okay.
- Okay. Bartender, dibs.
- Uh no, I saw him first.
- Mmm...
- You always do that!
("Here Comes the Bride"
on piano plays)
♪♪♪
(Guests murmur quietly)
(Ed laughs)
- Well, you're gonna be
just fine.
- All right, I'm okay.
(Guests chatter)
♪♪♪
(Door clicks)
- (Groans)
Whew! Okay.
(Sighs heavily)
(Door creaks)
Ooh...
Okay.
(Sighs) Aaah!
(Startled gasp then relieved)
- Are you sure you're all
right?
- I'm good. I'm good,
thanks, I'm good.
Uh... oh, well,
look at that, huh?
I am starting to sound
American.
(Laughs) Holy cow!
(Forced laugh)
- Maya should be here
any minute.
I'm gonna go check.
- All right.
- You stay put.
- You were supposed to be here
an hour ago to get ready.
- Well yes, but you know,
It doesn't take me
a whole hour, so.
- Well, where were you?
- I was just at the church,
making sure my date is okay.
- Oh, you have a date?
- Yeah. Why?
- Just...
when we spoke yesterday
you didn't have a date.
- Well, I do now.
- Okay, who is he?
- Oh, no one you know,
he's not from around here.
- Wait! The guy from
the bar last night?
- Mm, yeah.
- Okay, don't you think
picking up a guy at a bar
and bringing him to a wedding
is a little much?
- Well, first of all,
I did not pick him up,
he picked me up.
Second of all, maybe
you shouldn't talk,
just 'cause well, you know,
you're marrying a guy
you barely know,
and um, you picked him up
in the jungle.
- (Sighs heavily)
Okay...
(Claps)
Oh God...
- What's up, Malcolm?
Or is it Mtumbie?
- Tyrell.
Long time, man.
Oh, come on, why you
gotta be like that?
Oh wow, you working out.
- I want my money.
- Look, I don't got your money.
- I think you do.
- Look, I gave it to them,
I didn't keep one penny.
- That's your problem.
- Of course, right.
(Whistles) Huh.
That's a big gun.
So how we uh,
how you gonna do this?
- I want-I want in on the scam.
- What scam?
- I've been doing my homework
on the Johnsons.
- Uh-huh?
- Yeah...
Yeah, hard working,
a very prosperous family.
I'm not sure what
your angle is,
but I'm sure you got it
all worked out.
- Yeah, what makes you think
this is all a scam?
- Look...
the girl's pretty, no doubt.
- Mhmm.
- But if you were planning
on sticking around,
you'd would've used
your real name... Mtumbie.
Hey, that-that's rich.
- Oh, whoa. It ain't even
like that.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I just want my share.
- (Claps)
- All right, okay.
So it goes like this.
Once we get back
from the honeymoon,
the father is gonna give us
one of the hardware stores.
Once it's in my name I'm going
to take out a bank loan
of 100k against the store.
I disappear with the cash,
the family's on the lookout
for Mtumbie and then boom!
They don't care about
the money so much,
other than the fact that I broke
their little girl's heart.
- (Chortles)
("Here Comes the Bride" plays)
(Guests murmur excitedly)
♪♪♪
(Guests whisper, cameras click)
♪♪♪
(Woman cries quietly)
(Hush falls)
- It's all good,
I got it under control.
- How?
- Is um... is there a problem?
- No, no, no,
everything's good.
I just want to get it
over with.
- Of course.
- (Chuckles)
- Mtumbie...
- Hmm?
- Do you take Maya to be your
lawfully wedded wife,
to love, honor and cherish
'til death do you part?
- (Gulps loudly)
Maya: Ahem! Ahem!
- You cool?
- I do.
All: Awww!
- And Maya,
do you take Mtumbie to be your
lawful wedded husband,
to love, honor and cherish
until death do you part?
- (Gasps)
- Mhmm!
- Hmm?
- Yes!
- (Sighs)
I do.
- Then by the power
vested in me,
I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
You may now kiss the bride.
- Now?
(Both sigh)
(Guests applaud and cheer)
("Signed, Sealed, Delivered
I'm Yours" by Stevie Wonder)
♪ Oh yeah baby, ♪
♪ Like a fool I went
and stayed too long ♪
♪ Now I'm wondering
if your love's still strong ♪
♪ Ooh baby, ♪
♪ Here I am, signed, sealed
delivered, I'm yours ♪
(Women cheer and laugh)
(Applause)
- Welcome to the family, son.
- Thank you, Papa.
- Our new son!
Oh, welcome.
♪ Ooh baby ♪
♪ Here I am signed, sealed,
delivered, I'm yours ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
- To family!
- To family.
♪ You got my future
in your hands, baby ♪
♪ I... here I am, baby ♪
♪ I got my future
in your hands ♪
♪ Signed, sealed,
delivered, I'm yours ♪
Naomi: Let's get a cocktail!
- So uh, what's going on
with Tyrell?
- Oh.
- 'Cause I thought
he was after you.
- Yeah he was, but you know,
I've got it under control.
Just relax, enjoy the wedding,
All right?
I got it.
You look really nice.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
♪ It's a beautiful night ♪
♪ We're lookin' for something
dumb to do ♪
♪ Hey baby ♪
♪ I think I wanna marry you ♪
(All laugh)
♪ Is it the look
in your eyes ♪
♪ Or is it this dancing juice ♪
♪ Who cares baby
I think I wanna marry you ♪
- We'll be back!
- No problem, mama.
- Muah!
(Malcolm sighs)
- Hah, brother.
- Uncle Rufus.
- You know I know that
wedding's a scam, right?
- I'm sorry?
- The question is,
are you gonna do
the right thing?
- Look, I was just trying
to help Maya, that's it.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
It'll just be me and your
little secret, okay?
- So you won't tell anyone?
- You and I both know if you
don't perform the Asun,
you won't get the blessings
from the ancestors.
You know that!
- The Asun.
- Yeah, the Asun.
- The goat's blood.
- Goat's blood.
- Yes.
- And when you guys
get to Africa,
you can do your ceremony and
Maya's family won't even know.
- No problem.
(Both laugh)
- You're starting to sound
a little American, though.
- (Laughs nervously)
- Chicago? Detroit?
- Nigeria, Yoruba.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dayton, Ohio.
(Both laugh awkwardly)
- Oh, Uncle Rufus.
(Siren wails)
(Car rumbles)
♪♪♪
(Door slams)
(Trunk thuds shut)
(Knocks)
- Welcome to the honeymoon
suite, as you can see--
- Oh, we don't need a tour.
(Ice rattles)
Here.
- Enjoy your stay.
(Door clicks shut)
- (Sighs)
- Malcolm?
- Uh, yeah?
- Thank you.
- For what?
- For doing this.
- Oh! Yeah, um...
I had a break in my schedule.
(Both laugh)
- Well, I guess this is it.
- Yeah.
(Sighs)
I hope your plan works.
- So...
- (Sighs heavily)
Oh...
Good luck.
- Yeah, you too.
- And uh, Maya...
- Yeah?
- Um, you may not know it now,
but you really do have
a great family.
- Thanks.
- (Shakily) Enjoy.
♪♪♪
(Sighs heavily)
(Door clicks open and shuts)
♪ Anyone who ever dreamed
could look at me ♪
♪ And know I dream of you ♪
♪ Knowing I love you so ♪
♪ Anyone who had a heart ♪
♪ Would take me in his arms ♪
♪ And love me too ♪
♪ You couldn't really have
a heart and hurt me ♪
♪ Like you hurt me
and be so untrue ♪
- (Gasps)
Malcolm!
(Vacuum whirs)
♪ Every time you go away ♪
♪ I always say ♪
♪ This time it's goodbye,
dear ♪
♪ Loving you the way I do ♪
♪ I take you back ♪
♪ Without you I'd die, dear ♪
♪ Knowing I love you so ♪
♪ Anyone who had a heart
would take me in his arms ♪
♪ And love me too ♪
♪ You couldn't really have
a heart and hurt me ♪
♪ Like you hurt me
and be so untrue ♪
♪ Anyone who had a heart
would love me too ♪
♪ Anyone who had a heart
would surely take me ♪
♪ In his arms
and always love me ♪
♪ Why won't you? ♪
♪ Anyone who had a heart
would love me too yeah ♪
(Family whispers)
- I-I just-um...
- I'm so sorry.
- (Sobbing)
(Sighs)
- (Sighs)
- Hey, auntie.
- Hi, honey.
- How's Maya?
- Well, she's uh...
she's holding up.
- (Sighs)
- Aww...
- Who you looking for?
- Tyrell, he's my date.
- You brought a date
to a wake?
Rufus: Why can't you bring
a date to a wake?
I mean, in Africa,
a wake is a celebration!
Live music and libations.
- But we're not in Africa,
so I'm sure you'll forgive us
if we're not up for partying
right now.
- I mean, Mtumbie would've
wanted it this way.
I'm just saying.
- I'm just saying,
give it a rest.
- (Sighs)
- Where is Maya?
- She's up in her room, honey.
- Okay.
Naomi: Mtumbie was a great guy.
- (Sighs, sobs)
Maybe that's why you two
couldn't keep your hands
off each other.
Oh, don't give me that look.
I saw you guys on the beach.
- I don't know what
you're talking about!
Hmph!
Okay, yes,
I made a pass at him.
You know how I am,
I can't help myself!
- He was my fiancee.
How could you do that to me?
- Hey, I'm the one who
should be upset.
- You?
- I've never had bumboya
with anyone.
- What is bumboya?
- I don't know, some love
thing from the Gods.
Anyway, Mtumbie says
you guys have it.
- He said that?
(Airbrakes squeal)
♪♪♪
(Family speaks in hushed tones)
♪♪♪
(Engine revs)
(Tires squeal)
(Family talks quietly)
- Um, it's so hard.
- I know.
(Doorbell rings)
- I got it.
- Hello, I am Mtumbie.
- Hmm... hm.
Tyrell: Hey, Malcolm.
Welcome back to the living.
Get your ass in.
- (Groans)
(Door slams)
- Why you slammin' my shit?
- Look, I know what you're
thinking, all right?
- Now, how the hell do you know
what I'm thinking,
when I don't even know
what I'm thinking?
- I lied to you about the scam.
- I can see that.
Obviously you're not in it
for the hardware store,
so what's the deal, huh?
- Honestly man, if I told you,
you wouldn't even believe me.
Naomi: Maya, there's a man
here to see you.
I think he's from Africa.
- Maya.
(Sighs)
- (Gasps)
Clara: Uh... ahem!
Hello, I'm Clara.
- Hi.
- Maya's aunt, and um...
this is her father, Ed.
- What a great pleasure it is
to meet Maya's family.
She has told me so much
about you.
- Oh!
- What?
- Oh my God!
(Maya gasps)
- Will you marry me,
Maya Johnson?
- D-did you just ask my
daughter to marry you?
- Oh shit.
- Forgive me, sir,
how inconsiderate of me.
- Hmm.
- May I have permission
to marry your daughter?
- Will somebody tell me...
what the hell's going on here?
Rufus: Ed, you know,
it's-it's normal.
It's an African custom
that when the husband--
- Oh shhh!
- There is no excuse
for what I did.
And I'm very sorry.
- This girl, Maya,
is she in on it?
'Cause she sure had me fooled
with all them tears
she's been shedding over you.
- Really?
She was crying over me?
- All right,
that tells me that uh...
she wasn't in on it.
- (Groans)
- Man, the only person being
scammed here is me.
- Right, right.
- I was just doing it
as a favor to her.
She needed an African husband,
and...
- An African?
- Yeah, and I played the part,
man.
- (Laughs)
- Right.
- (Chuckles)
- Yeah...
- After you left, I chased
after you in my car.
I drove very, very badly
along a winding road,
and the car went over the side.
- Oh!
- It flipped over many times,
and I was hurt very badly.
The next thing I remember,
I am in a hospital.
And the machine by my bed
that goes beep beep,
beep beep, beep beep,
beep beep,
well, the machine was
beep beeping no more.
- Ohhh!
- Huh?
- And then an angel
comes to me.
- An angel?
- Great big wings.
And she whispers in my ear.
- Uh...
- "Go to Maya."
Just like that.
- Oh!
- I cry out in catharsis,
I must find my Maya,
I must tell her,
proclaim to her my love.
And then, the machine starts
beeping again.
- Uh huh...
- Hmph!
- (Laughs) You take me
for a damn fool, huh?
Listen.
I'm in 50/50,
or I'm gonna bust a cap
in your ass.
- Then do it.
- I ain't playin'.
- I ain't playin' either.
You gonna shoot me, do it now,
and get it over with,
'cause I ain't got nothing
to lose, man.
I'm already dead.
- Where do you think
you're goin'?
Sit your ass-- hey!
Malcolm!
Dang it!
Listen, man.
Hey, hey, hey!
What the hell is wrong
with you, man?
Look, all I'm asking for is my
little piece of the action!
- Aren't you listenin'
to me man,
there ain't no money, okay?
If you're gonna shoot me,
just do it now, and get it
over with, all right?
Do it. Just do it.
- You're bluffing.
- Oh, I'm bluffing.
Okay, if I'm bluffing, call it.
Call it. Call it!
Or get your punk ass
outta here.
- (Chuckles)
- Yeah.
- Oh, a tough guy
all of the sudden.
It's the chick, huh?
You fell for her. God!
It's always a chick.
- Please, will you still
marry me?
Please, Maya.
What about South Africa?
What about us?
Your art? Maya!
- I...
- You ain't even worth
me wasting,
because like you said,
you're already a dead man.
(Chuckles meanly)
(Laughs)
You have a good day, princess.
(Laughs to himself)
(Engine turns and rumbles)
(Brakes squeak)
(Tires squeal, engine revs)
- (Laughs)
- Please, Maya.
- (Groans)
- Um... okay everyone,
there's something that I need
to tell you.
(Doorbell rings)
- Oh!
Grandma Rose: Who is it?
(Gasps)
Is it really you?
- It is I, G-mamma.
(Clara cries out)
- (Sobs) Oh! Ohhh!
- What is going on?
Grandma Rose: Look, everybody!
- (Ed gasps, Maya sighs)
(All gasp)
- Johnsons.
I am alive.
- (Growls)
- I made it out of the water.
I swam to an island and then
a fishing man picked me up.
I had lost all of my memory,
and...
suddenly it just.. (snaps)
came back to me.
- Hmm.
- That's almost the same story!
All: Hmm...
Maya: Malcolm, it's over.
- What? What is over?
And who is this Malcolm?
- No, seriously.
You don't have to do
this anymore.
It's just-it's time to tell
everyone the truth.
- What are you talking about?
- Yeah, what are you
talking about?
- Um...
After I told you I was engaged,
I caught Mtumbie cheating on me.
Malcolm: I...
Cousins: Oh!
- No, not-not Malcolm!
The real Mtumbie.
Ed: Grrr!
After I found him I called
off the engagement,
and I came home.
But when I saw you
at the airport,
I just couldn't tell you
the truth so I lied,
and said that he was coming.
- But... he did come...
didn't he?
- Not really.
- Mm! Mm! Mm!
- I met Malcolm
at a diner in town,
and I convinced him to pretend
to be Mtumbie.
He was just doing me a favor.
- This... (Gasps)
- And we didn't really go
to Africa on our honeymoon.
We just...
we stayed in L.A.
And when I came back
I made up the whole story
about him drowning.
- Oh lord.
- Are you insane?
I mean...
I can't believe you did this.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry?!
You're sorry?!
Your aunt Clara and your
grandmother have been looking
at pictures of your wedding,
crying over this man that
we thought was Mtumbie.
I mean, I-I don't know
what's worse,
thinking that he was dead,
or knowing that this
is all a lie!
- I didn't mean to hurt you.
I didn't mean to hurt
any of you.
- Why did you do it?
- Because I couldn't face you.
- You did all this because you
couldn't face me?
That is the stupidest thing
I ever heard!
Clara and Grandma Rose: Ed!
- See, this is exactly
what I'm talking about!
- Am I that horrible a dad
that you couldn't come to me
with the truth?
- I wanted to tell you,
but every time I tried,
you'd make some big deal
about how he's from Africa,
you don't want me to marry
an African,
and you think that I'm making
a huge mistake,
and so I clammed up!
- Sweetheart, I didn't not want
you to marry an African,
I-I don't care where
he was from.
I just didn't want you
to go away.
That's why I built
the art studio out back.
- Wait, the workshop is for me?
- I wanted you to have a place
to do your art.
It was going to be a surprise.
All: Awww...
- I'm really sorry, Dad.
- Me too.
(Both sigh)
- But the truth is,
(Sighs)
I really fell in love
with Malcolm.
Clara: Ohh...
- W-which one is Malcolm?
- (Laughs)
- Yeah, and I fell in love
with Maya, too.
- Well, don't tell us,
go tell her!
- Oh, G-mamma.
She already knows.
Come here, girl.
(All laugh)
Cousins: Oh! Aww! Ohhh!
- Oh, look at them!
(All laugh)
- Hi. I don't think we've
actually haven't met yet.
I'm Naomi.
- Mtumbie.
♪ It's a beautiful night ♪
♪ We're lookin' for something
dumb to do ♪
♪ Hey baby, I think
I wanna marry you ♪
(Maya laughs)
- (Laughs)
♪ Is it the look in your eyes ♪
♪ Or is it this dancing juice ♪
♪ Who cares baby,♪
♪ I think I wanna marry you ♪
- I can't believe this.
- Mtumbie is back!
- No! (Laughs)
(Birds chirp,
elephant trumpets)
(Lion growls)
(Elephant trumpets)
Malcolm: I'm so glad we got
to come here for our honeymoon.
Maya: Oh, me too.
But did we have to bring
my entire family?
- Oh, nice, nice, nice!
- Let's go hear the roar
of the lion.
- Oh yes, I love lions!
- Eww!
- Are we gonna be safe, though?
- Do you see the elephants?
- What? Ooh, ooh, I see!
- Nakutakia siku njema!
- What does that mean,
Uncle Rufus?
- He don't know!
- (Stammers)
(All laugh)
- Oh man, let me see!
- I love it! Oh yeah!
- Ah, ooh! Man, look at that!
- This is so fun!
- Day-o!
Day-day-o!
- Yeah! Hey, look!
(All laugh)
- Hoo-ah! Yeehaw!
- Oh, Clara! I love it!
Africa! (Laughs)
Ed: Africa!
♪♪♪
- Maya...
(Both laugh)
- Cut.
(Rufus sings,
all laugh)
(All laugh, clap)
- Live music,
and ohh!
Libation!
- And a fishing boat
had picked me up.
- (Snorts laughter)
- This is not funny.
- You got that brand new
sealed vacuum sealer.
Okay, double sealed
smoke vacuum smoke--
Double smoked
vacuum cleaner.
Ed: Is there anything that
you're not an expert at?
- Yes, these lines.
(All laugh)
- I went to--
(All laugh)
- (Bangs) Yeah!
What the--
(Laughs)
- Oh no!
- (Laughs)