1
00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:04,204
[alarm blaring]
2
00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:07,973
Sometimes my highly tuned
Spider-Sense tells me there's trouble.
3
00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:09,809
And sometimes I just hear
a really loud alarm.
4
00:00:09,811 --> 00:00:12,511
[alarm continues blaring]
5
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:15,247
Don't worry, folks.
Gonna check on that pesky noise
6
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:17,516
so you can get back to your
fancy ribbon-cutting ceremony.
7
00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:21,765
Whoa.
That's a seriously big hole.
8
00:00:21,766 --> 00:00:24,590
Okay, Spidey.
[web-shooters discharging]
9
00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:27,827
Looks like you're about
to take on a whole army of...
10
00:00:27,829 --> 00:00:30,329
one bald guy?
11
00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:32,631
[alarm stops] You do all
this damage yourself, shiny?
12
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,768
Yeah. Pretty impressive, huh?
13
00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:39,308
[Spider-Man] It doesn't add up.
You're a big guy,
14
00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:42,174
but that wall looks
like it was hit by a wrecking ball.
15
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:45,211
And there it is.
Man, can I call 'em or what?
16
00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,512
I should have
my own detective show.
17
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:49,615
People call me the Absorbing Man.
18
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:51,851
'Cause you have paper towel powers?
19
00:00:51,853 --> 00:00:55,421
Because I can absorb anything.
20
00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:58,057
[grunts]
21
00:00:58,059 --> 00:01:00,626
[grunts] Right.
Just like paper towels can.
22
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:03,662
You sure you don't wanna go with
"Paper Towel Man"? [groans]
23
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:06,532
I promise you no other bad guys
are using that name. [grunts]
24
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,167
[grunting]
25
00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:09,301
[grunting]
26
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:16,475
Insult me all you want.
I have thick skin.
27
00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,344
Or, better yet,
28
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:20,846
sharp skin.
29
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:23,249
Uh-oh.
30
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:24,583
[grunts]
31
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,554
[grunts, groans]
32
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:33,492
Talk about being stuck
between a rock and a hard face!
33
00:01:35,692 --> 00:01:39,057
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
34
00:01:44,886 --> 00:01:46,335
[grunts]
35
00:01:46,519 --> 00:01:48,340
[grunts]
36
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,942
[both grunt]
37
00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:53,512
So, you become
what you touch, huh?
38
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:55,214
[car alarm blaring]
39
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:57,149
[car alarm honking]
[car alarm blaring]
40
00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:00,252
[grunts]
41
00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:03,689
[grunts, yells]
42
00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:06,425
Let's see what happens
when you can't touch anything.
43
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,394
Hmm?
Now, what do we have here?
44
00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:13,032
- Your vacation photos?
- Hey, gang! Screwball here!
45
00:02:13,034 --> 00:02:15,601
- Screwball?
- With another fun fact.
46
00:02:15,603 --> 00:02:18,855
It's hard for a CEO to cut
the ribbon on his polluting
47
00:02:18,856 --> 00:02:22,107
power plant headquarters if
he doesn't have the ribbon!
48
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:24,877
Let this be a lesson
to all you corporate shills.
49
00:02:24,879 --> 00:02:27,413
You never know when
you'll be surprised by...
50
00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:29,548
[grunts]
Spider-Man?
51
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:32,451
Mmm. [yells]
Metal.
52
00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:33,719
[grunting]
53
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:36,255
[screaming]
54
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,490
You might want to look [grunts]
both ways next time.
55
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,627
And you might not wanna
stand there this time.
56
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,595
Sorry, Spider-Man.
57
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,931
I expected those business goons
to chase me.
58
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:48,734
[grunts, laughs]
59
00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:52,104
- Great.
- Smile, Spider-Man.
60
00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:53,439
[Screwball's voice]
61
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:55,274
[laughing]
62
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:58,677
Pete, you have got to watch
the new Screwball video.
63
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,747
Not right now, Harry.
I'm working on something.
64
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:03,349
[click]
65
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:08,120
[beeping] Pretty heavy
security for vacation photos.
66
00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:11,590
Check it out. She totally
messes with Spider-Man.
67
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,876
- It's hilarious.
- Is it? 'Cause thanks
68
00:03:14,911 --> 00:03:16,829
to this Screwball character,
Spider-Man lost a bad guy.
69
00:03:16,831 --> 00:03:20,499
Oh, please! Spider-Man
needs to be taken down a peg.
70
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,801
[chuckles]
This Screwball's my new hero.
71
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,337
She's not a hero, Harry.
72
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,439
Heroes have power
and responsibility.
73
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,208
Screwball doesn't have either.
74
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:32,945
Oh, she has power, all right.
The power of the Internet.
75
00:03:32,947 --> 00:03:34,947
This video's
only been up a few hours,
76
00:03:34,949 --> 00:03:37,716
and it already has hundreds
of thousands of views.
77
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:41,462
- Views aren't power.
- They're not? Look around.
78
00:03:41,497 --> 00:03:43,789
- You've been Screwballed!
- Must be a slow news day.
79
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,290
[laughing] Come on!
80
00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,659
- What's so funny?
- Oh, hey, Liz.
81
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:50,162
Just watching Screwball's
latest post. Have you seen it?
82
00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:53,864
Uh, no, not yet. What are
people saying? Do they like it?
83
00:03:53,899 --> 00:03:57,503
Oh, yeah. It's by far her best.
It has Spider-Man in it.
84
00:03:57,505 --> 00:03:59,471
And that's the only reason
people care about it.
85
00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:03,509
People care because Screwball takes
on corruption with cool pranks,
86
00:04:03,511 --> 00:04:07,076
- not because it has Spider-Man in it.
- Really? Then why
87
00:04:07,111 --> 00:04:10,716
does this video have four times
as many views as all her others?
88
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:13,255
It does?
89
00:04:13,290 --> 00:04:17,556
Well, if involving Spider-Man
brings more attention to my causes,
90
00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:21,638
then Spider-Man is exactly
what my viewers are gonna get.
91
00:04:21,673 --> 00:04:23,162
[beeps]
92
00:04:23,164 --> 00:04:27,499
Hey, guys. Welcome to Screwball's
brand-new Spidey segment.
93
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,569
At least once a week, I'll be
making a video about Spider-Man.
94
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,604
So sound off in the
comments, and let me know
95
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,373
what you think of the old webhead.
96
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:37,276
- You've been Screwballed!
- Agh!
97
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:40,579
- Where is it?
- Where's what?
98
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:43,282
I told you to grab
everything in the safe.
99
00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:47,687
- And I did.
- I don't care about diamonds.
100
00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,288
I wanted the flash drive!
101
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:52,524
[chuckling] Oh, that.
Spider-Man got it.
102
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:56,895
You imbecile.
That store is a front for The Owl,
103
00:04:56,897 --> 00:05:00,566
who was blackmailing me with
the information on that drive!
104
00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:04,933
- Why didn't you tell me all this?
- Because I wanted
105
00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:07,706
to keep it simple enough to
absorb through your thick skull!
106
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:11,610
The only reason I hired you was
so he wouldn't trace it to me!
107
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:15,586
- And stop eating my chips!
- I'm not!
108
00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,750
[yells]
Busted.
109
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:22,654
That drive has enough dirt on it
to put me away forever,
110
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,324
and now Spider-Man has it.
111
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,559
You get it back,
and keep my name out of it,
112
00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:31,096
- or so help me... [grunts]
- Ow!
113
00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:35,000
...there won't be enough of
you left to scoop up salsa!
114
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,304
That's not funny.
115
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:42,074
Spider-Man should leave the
crime-fighting to the police...
116
00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:46,745
[laughter] but keep being
part of those hilarious videos.
117
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:50,149
Leave Spider-Man alone.
Spider-Man rules!
118
00:05:50,151 --> 00:05:53,652
Which is also the name
of my Spider-Man fan page.
119
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:57,456
Spider-Man's a menace.
I had to look that word up.
120
00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:01,160
But once I did, I agreed.
A menace!
121
00:06:01,162 --> 00:06:03,676
- What are you doing?!
- Gotta go.
122
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,198
- Hey, Liz.
- Hey, Randy.
123
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,201
Can we move our study group to...
Oh, come on!
124
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:11,270
Don't tell me you're
a Screwball fan too.
125
00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:13,839
Why wouldn't I be?
She's great.
126
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,642
She's everything that's wrong
with the Internet.
127
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:20,445
If she really wanted to make a difference,
she'd do something legitimate.
128
00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:24,280
- Like your boring blog?
- Exactly! I mean...
129
00:06:24,315 --> 00:06:27,185
It's not boring.
In fact,
130
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,787
you know that power company
she pranked last week?
131
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,690
It was one of a dozen businesses
bought up on the same day
132
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,659
by the same anonymous corporation.
133
00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:36,862
I haven't cracked who it is yet, but my gut
tells me the Mob's behind it.
134
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,664
They have...
You know what?
135
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,832
I'll just send you my story.
It's only 35 pages.
136
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:44,036
I'm good, thanks. I just
think you're jealous because
137
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:47,239
Screwball gets a ton of hits,
and your blog only has... three.
138
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:50,642
So what? Screwball's
numbers are down too.
139
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:53,412
Without new footage of
Spider-Man, she's nothing.
140
00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:57,249
Hey, finding Spider-Man is hard.
Probably.
141
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,251
Oh, I have to go.
142
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:02,321
My dad's speaking a the
groundbreaking ceremony for
143
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:05,390
the city's new media building
today. Now, he's a real journalist.
144
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:08,594
In fact, every major news
outlet's gonna be there,
145
00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:11,997
including my blog,
thank you very much.
146
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:15,687
Every major outlet, huh?
147
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,574
[chattering]
148
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,715
Thanks for coming out
to support my dad, guys.
149
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:32,117
I didn't even know
you knew about this event.
150
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,953
Oh, thi... [chuckling]
Of course we did.
151
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:37,857
And it has nothing to do with
the fact that we were across
152
00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:40,759
- the street having lunch.
- Don't let him fool you, Randy.
153
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,148
It's just nice to do something
154
00:07:42,149 --> 00:07:44,229
that doesn't involve our
competing schools for a change.
155
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:48,734
Well, technically, my dad is
lending them an Oscorp worker bot.
156
00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:51,570
[Peter] I should've known.
157
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:55,207
Well, maybe you can use a Horizon
High pen to write the story.
158
00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:57,943
[laughter]
[Robertson over mic] Thank you, everyone.
159
00:07:57,945 --> 00:08:01,446
Before we break ground,
I'd like to say a few words,
160
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:03,915
and though my editor
won't believe me,
161
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,118
I promise it'll only be a few.
162
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,819
[laughter]
People always ask
163
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,422
if I have any advice
for the next generation.
164
00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:15,127
If I do, it's this:
value your story.
165
00:08:15,129 --> 00:08:19,131
Nowadays, anyone anywhere can
have an audience of millions.
166
00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:24,069
But being seen by those people
isn't the same as reaching them.
167
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:27,005
A real writer doesn't care
about getting likes,
168
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,007
they care about making a difference,
169
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:32,744
whether it's for 100,000 people
or just one.
170
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:36,014
[cheering] And now, let's
put this big guy to work
171
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:39,318
and break some ground
on this new building.
172
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:43,322
What's it doing?
[grunts]
173
00:08:43,324 --> 00:08:45,390
I'm okay, son.
174
00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:49,161
You've just been Screwballed!
175
00:08:49,163 --> 00:08:51,163
[crowd] It's Screwball!
176
00:08:51,165 --> 00:08:54,299
- This is awful. She could've hurt my dad!
- I love your videos!
177
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:57,302
Don't worry, Randy. Her pranks
look worse than they are.
178
00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:58,704
Right, Pete?
179
00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:00,772
Um... Pete?
180
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:03,108
[sighs]
Typical Parker.
181
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:05,844
You took over the worker bot?
182
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:09,582
- Not cool, Screwball.
- Ha! Are you kidding?
183
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,283
I'm just getting started.
184
00:09:11,285 --> 00:09:13,661
[humming]
[music]
185
00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:19,091
- Whoa! [yells]
- Screwball! No!
186
00:09:20,843 --> 00:09:21,843
[screaming]
187
00:09:21,845 --> 00:09:23,979
Hold on!
[grunts]
188
00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:26,047
Thanks for the save,
Spider-Man. [beeps]
189
00:09:28,184 --> 00:09:30,869
[Spider-Man] What in...
A billboard?
190
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:31,670
[crowd gasps]
191
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,121
You're gonna answer for that one.
192
00:09:33,123 --> 00:09:36,791
A bungee cord?
[grunts]
193
00:09:37,793 --> 00:09:38,960
[groaning in disgust]
194
00:09:38,962 --> 00:09:40,962
And cut!
195
00:09:40,964 --> 00:09:44,232
Nice work, Spidey. I was
hoping for the banner plug,
196
00:09:44,234 --> 00:09:46,234
but the quick-drying cement
was an added bonus.
197
00:09:46,236 --> 00:09:49,371
[grunting]
And what if someone out there
198
00:09:49,373 --> 00:09:51,806
needed my help while I was
preoccupied here with you?
199
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:55,577
Relax, Spidey.
This city is full of heroes.
200
00:09:55,579 --> 00:09:59,584
I can't help it if my viewers
wanna see us together.
201
00:09:59,815 --> 00:10:01,182
[grunting]
202
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,251
- Spidey, Spidey!
- Over here! Give us a smile.
203
00:10:03,253 --> 00:10:04,886
[groans]
Nice!
204
00:10:04,888 --> 00:10:06,922
You've been Screwballed!
[laughing]
205
00:10:10,393 --> 00:10:15,096
Are you seriously still watching
stupid Internet videos?
206
00:10:15,098 --> 00:10:18,400
You're supposed to be getting
my drive back from Spider-Man!
207
00:10:18,402 --> 00:10:23,104
I tried. I broke into another
jewelry store to draw him out,
208
00:10:23,106 --> 00:10:26,107
but that Avenger Hawkeye
showed up instead.
209
00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:30,579
I don't want excuses!
I want you to find Spider-Man.
210
00:10:30,581 --> 00:10:33,882
Your little Internet friend here doesn't
seem to have any trouble finding him.
211
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:39,220
- Maybe they're partners, like us.
- We are not partners!
212
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,591
Although, that's not a bad idea.
213
00:10:42,593 --> 00:10:45,794
Really? 'Cause I can move
my stuff in tomorrow.
214
00:10:45,796 --> 00:10:48,063
I'm talking about the girl.
215
00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:52,267
We get the girl,
we get Spider-Man.
216
00:10:52,269 --> 00:10:54,903
But how do we find him?
217
00:10:54,905 --> 00:11:00,809
Look, there's always something.
Always something they forget.
218
00:11:00,811 --> 00:11:03,612
"Midtown High School."
There!
219
00:11:03,614 --> 00:11:06,080
Now get on it!
220
00:11:07,049 --> 00:11:09,250
You've just been Screwballed!
221
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,486
[crowd laughing, chattering]
222
00:11:11,488 --> 00:11:13,755
Not a Screwball fan either, huh?
223
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:16,091
- I thought I was the only one.
- No way.
224
00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:19,794
The Internet is the most powerful
technology in human history,
225
00:11:19,796 --> 00:11:24,132
and we use it for prank videos.
Such a waste.
226
00:11:24,134 --> 00:11:27,569
- Hey, is that a school project?
- What? No.
227
00:11:27,571 --> 00:11:31,139
- I mean, yes.
- An asymmetric encryption key?
228
00:11:31,141 --> 00:11:33,975
Mind if I take a look?
229
00:11:33,977 --> 00:11:35,243
[beeping]
230
00:11:35,245 --> 00:11:39,147
Whoa.
You don't see a lot of these.
231
00:11:39,149 --> 00:11:42,083
You know what this is?
Can you crack it?
232
00:11:42,085 --> 00:11:46,187
Are you kidding? This kind of
problem solving is my favorite.
233
00:11:46,189 --> 00:11:48,957
Here. I'll show you
what you're missing.
234
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:51,893
[keyboard clacking] I think
what I was missing was you.
235
00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:01,002
[boy] Aw. Flash, you're out.
236
00:12:01,004 --> 00:12:02,971
Bring me Screwball!
237
00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:04,506
[students gasping, murmuring]
238
00:12:04,508 --> 00:12:06,941
[boy] Hey, get outta here!
239
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:09,544
You're out!
Get lost, freak!
240
00:12:10,513 --> 00:12:11,579
Now!
241
00:12:12,782 --> 00:12:15,884
[clamoring]
[music]
242
00:12:15,886 --> 00:12:19,354
Hey!
No one's going anywhere!
243
00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:22,323
[grunts]
[yells]
244
00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:25,660
Hey, one of you twerps
knows where she is.
245
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,228
So tell me.
246
00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:29,664
[Randy grunting]
Oh, no!
247
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,901
Guess this isn't just
about me anymore.
248
00:12:32,903 --> 00:12:35,937
But maybe I can do
something from here.
249
00:12:37,139 --> 00:12:39,674
[beeps]
Spider-Man, this is Screwball.
250
00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:41,676
Got it!
I broke the encryption.
251
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,678
And we have...
252
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,581
a bunch of files
with scrambled titles,
253
00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:49,584
all connected to... Hammerhead?
254
00:12:49,586 --> 00:12:52,353
Isn't he a gangster?
255
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:55,724
He is. But what do those
scrambled titles mean?
256
00:12:55,726 --> 00:12:58,526
I don't know, but there
are a dozen of these files.
257
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,562
[phone humming]
258
00:13:00,564 --> 00:13:04,399
[beeps] Anya says we need to
check out the new Screwball video.
259
00:13:04,401 --> 00:13:08,482
She knows I'm not a fan,
so this should be interesting.
260
00:13:09,405 --> 00:13:12,040
Spider-Man, this is Screwball.
261
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:14,843
I need you to come to Midtown
High right away. I'm in trouble.
262
00:13:14,845 --> 00:13:17,078
I hope Spider-Man is watching this.
263
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,414
[sighs] It's probably
just another prank.
264
00:13:19,416 --> 00:13:22,717
That girl will do
anything for attention.
265
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:25,253
I'm getting impatient.
266
00:13:25,255 --> 00:13:28,256
Hi. Randy Robertson,
freelance journalist.
267
00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:32,293
What do you want with Screwball...
[grunts] exactly?
268
00:13:32,295 --> 00:13:34,395
Stop stalling!
269
00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:37,465
If Screwball doesn't show
herself in ten seconds,
270
00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:40,101
this guy's gonna be toast.
271
00:13:40,103 --> 00:13:41,703
- Come on, Spidey. Where are you?
- Ten.
272
00:13:41,705 --> 00:13:44,305
- Is it possible he's not coming?
- Nine. Eight.
273
00:13:44,307 --> 00:13:48,042
- Did I prank him one too many times?
- Seven. Six.
274
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:51,279
- [sighs] Okay. I don't need Spider-Man.
- Five. Four.
275
00:13:51,281 --> 00:13:54,149
- I'm Screwball. I'm just as good as him, right?
- Three. Two.
276
00:13:54,151 --> 00:13:56,251
- Better, even.
- One.
277
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:59,888
Let him go!
278
00:13:59,890 --> 00:14:02,480
You're about to be Screwballed!
279
00:14:03,325 --> 00:14:06,161
[both grunting]
280
00:14:06,163 --> 00:14:08,429
[laughing]
Huh?
281
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:11,432
Did you really think
you were a superhero?
282
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:15,403
And did you really think
you could pull off that tank top?
283
00:14:15,405 --> 00:14:18,239
Spider-Man! [grunts]
You came!
284
00:14:18,241 --> 00:14:20,575
I was worried you thought
my video was a prank.
285
00:14:20,577 --> 00:14:23,077
To be honest,
I was wondering if it might be.
286
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:25,413
But that's the thing
about being a hero.
287
00:14:25,415 --> 00:14:27,148
You don't get to wonder.
288
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:31,900
Webs! I don't know why [yells]
I didn't do this earlier.
289
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,850
[grunting]
290
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:36,497
Smothered by webs?
291
00:14:36,499 --> 00:14:39,300
Is this irony?
Feels like irony.
292
00:14:39,302 --> 00:14:43,251
Also feels like a good time to
use my web dissolvent. [beeping]
293
00:14:43,405 --> 00:14:44,973
[screaming]
294
00:14:44,975 --> 00:14:47,508
That wasn't nice!
295
00:14:47,510 --> 00:14:50,411
Nice? Now you're worried
about being nice?
296
00:14:50,413 --> 00:14:52,547
[grunts]
297
00:14:56,518 --> 00:14:58,252
[grunts]
Aahh!
298
00:14:58,254 --> 00:15:01,589
Just give me the flash drive,
and I'll let them go!
299
00:15:01,591 --> 00:15:04,659
The flash drive!
That's what this is about?!
300
00:15:04,661 --> 00:15:07,128
I don't have it on me.
Do you see pockets?
301
00:15:07,130 --> 00:15:09,630
Fine, then.
302
00:15:09,632 --> 00:15:14,035
Meet me at the new media
building construction site.
303
00:15:14,037 --> 00:15:17,306
Be there in an hour, or you'll find
304
00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:20,575
a couple of concrete
teens waiting for ya.
305
00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:23,916
Get to safety!
306
00:15:25,647 --> 00:15:29,550
Just a sec. This is gonna get
so many likes. [shutter clicks]
307
00:15:29,552 --> 00:15:30,752
[chuckles]
308
00:15:33,288 --> 00:15:37,658
- This is all my fault.
- Now, there's a news flash.
309
00:15:37,660 --> 00:15:41,729
But... you did put your life on
the line to save a total stranger.
310
00:15:41,731 --> 00:15:43,598
You're not a stranger, Randy.
311
00:15:45,467 --> 00:15:49,637
- You're my friend.
- Liz? But why?
312
00:15:49,639 --> 00:15:54,914
[sighs] I don't know.
I used to feel so... special.
313
00:15:54,949 --> 00:15:58,679
I was a straight-A student, the
class president of Midtown High.
314
00:15:58,681 --> 00:16:02,350
But then came genius schools
like Horizon High and Oz Academy,
315
00:16:02,352 --> 00:16:05,520
and those things didn't
seem to be enough anymore.
316
00:16:05,522 --> 00:16:08,222
So I became Screwball.
317
00:16:08,224 --> 00:16:10,658
Thought I could be
a hero to the community.
318
00:16:10,660 --> 00:16:14,262
I guess I lost sight of that when
I started focusing on Spider-Man.
319
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:17,665
I felt powerful
because I had the attention.
320
00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:21,436
But I guess it takes a different
kind of power to be a real hero.
321
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:26,058
- Well, saving my life was no small thing.
- Thanks.
322
00:16:32,448 --> 00:16:34,182
Get out!
323
00:16:37,619 --> 00:16:40,088
Dangling over a cement mixer?
324
00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:42,623
Oh, that's the last time
I let you watch the kids.
325
00:16:42,625 --> 00:16:46,027
Spider-Man, you made it.
326
00:16:46,029 --> 00:16:48,629
Hand over the drive,
and nobody gets hurt.
327
00:16:48,631 --> 00:16:50,965
Sure. Should I give it to you,
328
00:16:50,967 --> 00:16:53,601
or directly to your boss,
Hammerhead?
329
00:16:53,603 --> 00:16:58,777
Oh-ho, congratulations.
You figured out the dumb
330
00:16:58,812 --> 00:17:01,209
brute's actually working for me.
You want a medal?
331
00:17:01,211 --> 00:17:04,745
No. Although there's probably
enough metal in your head
332
00:17:04,747 --> 00:17:06,881
to give me the gold,
silver, and bronze.
333
00:17:06,883 --> 00:17:11,953
Just deliver the goods,
and we'll let the kids go.
334
00:17:11,955 --> 00:17:13,821
Sure thing.
335
00:17:14,590 --> 00:17:20,128
- Now let them go.
- Oh, that's exactly what I plan on doing.
336
00:17:20,130 --> 00:17:21,662
Drop 'em!
[grunts]
337
00:17:21,664 --> 00:17:23,598
[both screaming]
338
00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,100
I knew a thug like you
couldn't be trusted.
339
00:17:26,102 --> 00:17:28,669
But I thought I'd give you a chance
before I went to the police
340
00:17:28,671 --> 00:17:31,613
with the list of businesses
you're using to launder money.
341
00:17:31,648 --> 00:17:34,561
- What? Well, how did you...
- Easy.
342
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:38,746
- Just used the old noggin.
- Extinguish that bug!
343
00:17:38,781 --> 00:17:40,815
[all grunting]
344
00:17:42,818 --> 00:17:44,018
[groans]
Oops.
345
00:17:44,020 --> 00:17:48,689
Can't I have just one person
that does what I need 'em to do?
346
00:17:48,691 --> 00:17:50,758
I'll take care of this myself.
347
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,693
[grunts]
348
00:17:55,631 --> 00:17:56,731
[grunts]
349
00:17:58,133 --> 00:18:00,935
See how easily you're replaced,
Absorbing Man?
350
00:18:00,937 --> 00:18:03,938
Clearly, your boss likes 'em big, bad,
and easy to control.
351
00:18:03,940 --> 00:18:09,610
[growls] Oh? Then he's gonna
love this new power I have.
352
00:18:09,612 --> 00:18:12,213
Sometimes I don't know
why I open my mouth.
353
00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:15,316
[laughing]
354
00:18:15,318 --> 00:18:18,819
[echoing] Didn't know I could
increase in size, did ya?
355
00:18:18,821 --> 00:18:21,689
Hold still. I'll have us
outta here in a second.
356
00:18:21,691 --> 00:18:24,125
[grunts] You increased
in size and strength,
357
00:18:24,127 --> 00:18:25,960
but sadly not in looks.
[grunts]
358
00:18:27,963 --> 00:18:29,063
[grunting]
359
00:18:29,065 --> 00:18:32,733
[yells] No!
360
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,804
[grunts]
I just got an idea.
361
00:18:36,806 --> 00:18:39,410
Yo, chrome dome!
Over here!
362
00:18:41,343 --> 00:18:42,643
[grunts]
363
00:18:42,645 --> 00:18:45,680
[electricity arcing]
[grunting]
364
00:18:45,682 --> 00:18:48,249
That's an impressive ability
you have there.
365
00:18:48,251 --> 00:18:50,751
Not as impressive as
absorbing knowledge, of course.
366
00:18:50,753 --> 00:18:52,820
[grunts]
367
00:18:52,822 --> 00:18:56,324
I'd pick strength over smarts any day.
368
00:18:56,326 --> 00:18:59,360
I figured.
Otherwise you would've realized
369
00:18:59,362 --> 00:19:01,729
that the metal you just
absorbed was lithium.
370
00:19:01,731 --> 00:19:04,035
Yeah? So what?!
371
00:19:04,070 --> 00:19:07,768
So, lithium doesn't react well
with certain compounds.
372
00:19:07,770 --> 00:19:09,870
Like your face?
373
00:19:09,872 --> 00:19:13,507
No. [grunts]
Like water.
374
00:19:13,509 --> 00:19:14,775
[sizzling]
Huh?
375
00:19:14,777 --> 00:19:17,778
[screaming]
376
00:19:20,849 --> 00:19:23,384
[screaming stops]
377
00:19:23,386 --> 00:19:26,387
- Is he gone?
- Sadly, I doubt it.
378
00:19:26,389 --> 00:19:28,789
He'll probably pull himself
together soon enough.
379
00:19:28,791 --> 00:19:30,512
Still, that was amazing!
380
00:19:30,513 --> 00:19:33,094
- You saved the day!
- With your help.
381
00:19:33,096 --> 00:19:35,530
That drive didn't mean a thing
until I remembered the story
382
00:19:35,531 --> 00:19:37,965
on your blog about the companies
that were just bought up.
383
00:19:37,967 --> 00:19:41,969
You...
You read my blog?!
384
00:19:41,971 --> 00:19:44,650
Spider-Man is one of my three hits!
385
00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:45,761
[thunderous thud]
Uh-oh.
386
00:19:45,796 --> 00:19:47,608
- [grunts] Spider-Sense.
- Whoa!
387
00:19:47,610 --> 00:19:51,585
[Hammerhead] I'm gonna crush
you like the insect you are!
388
00:19:53,215 --> 00:19:55,916
What's wrong with
this piece of junk?
389
00:19:55,918 --> 00:19:58,786
You've just been Screwballed!
390
00:19:59,655 --> 00:20:04,425
Wha... You've gotta be...
Hey! I hate that kid!
391
00:20:04,427 --> 00:20:07,370
You've just been Spider-Man... ned!
392
00:20:07,405 --> 00:20:10,097
[grunting]
393
00:20:10,099 --> 00:20:11,899
Hope you got his swan dive
on camera.
394
00:20:11,901 --> 00:20:14,969
Oh, I got it.
Among other things.
395
00:20:16,738 --> 00:20:19,340
[grunting]
[Screwball's voice]
396
00:20:19,342 --> 00:20:21,575
[Screwball chuckles]
It's pretty funny.
397
00:20:21,577 --> 00:20:24,945
[muffled grunting] Depends
on what side you're on.
398
00:20:24,947 --> 00:20:27,682
Although today, I was glad
you were on my side.
399
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,484
But I also started this whole mess.
400
00:20:30,486 --> 00:20:32,920
Fixing your mistakes
is part of being a hero.
401
00:20:32,922 --> 00:20:37,491
- A hero? Me?
- After today? Absolutely.
402
00:20:37,493 --> 00:20:41,028
[chuckles] That's better
than a million likes.
403
00:20:41,030 --> 00:20:45,099
Still, maybe it's time
I went back to just being me.
404
00:20:46,101 --> 00:20:47,101
[sighs]
405
00:20:47,103 --> 00:20:50,504
- Liz Allan?
- You know who I am?
406
00:20:50,506 --> 00:20:52,807
Uh, of course.
407
00:20:52,809 --> 00:20:56,310
You're Midtown High's class president.
Everybody knows that.
408
00:20:56,312 --> 00:20:57,812
[siren wailing]
[both gasp]
409
00:20:57,814 --> 00:21:01,882
And the perfect person to hand
over Absorbing Man to the police.
410
00:21:01,884 --> 00:21:03,718
Not to mention Hammerhead.
[muffled grunting]
411
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,187
So, it turns out
the biggest Spidey fail
412
00:21:06,189 --> 00:21:08,155
was that I failed Spidey.
413
00:21:08,157 --> 00:21:10,791
He was doing the kind of good
I set out to do,
414
00:21:10,793 --> 00:21:13,227
but I got caught up
in the popularity of it all.
415
00:21:13,229 --> 00:21:15,363
And I'm sorry about that.
416
00:21:15,365 --> 00:21:17,865
This is my last Screwball
video for a while.
417
00:21:17,867 --> 00:21:20,167
In the meantime, for real news,
418
00:21:20,169 --> 00:21:23,404
Randy Robertson's blog
has got you covered.
419
00:21:23,406 --> 00:21:24,972
So Spidey saved the day.
420
00:21:24,974 --> 00:21:27,074
I guess he really is
a true hero, huh, Harry?
421
00:21:27,076 --> 00:21:29,076
Aw, please!
422
00:21:29,078 --> 00:21:32,362
You can't believe everything
you see on the Internet, Pete.
423
00:21:32,713 --> 00:21:34,648
[sighs]
424
00:21:35,103 --> 00:21:36,843
[slurps]
425
00:21:37,019 --> 00:21:41,309
sync & correction by f1nc0
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