1 00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:04,204 [alarm blaring] 2 00:00:04,205 --> 00:00:07,973 Sometimes my highly tuned Spider-Sense tells me there's trouble. 3 00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:09,809 And sometimes I just hear a really loud alarm. 4 00:00:09,811 --> 00:00:12,511 [alarm continues blaring] 5 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:15,247 Don't worry, folks. Gonna check on that pesky noise 6 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:17,516 so you can get back to your fancy ribbon-cutting ceremony. 7 00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:21,765 Whoa. That's a seriously big hole. 8 00:00:21,766 --> 00:00:24,590 Okay, Spidey. [web-shooters discharging] 9 00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:27,827 Looks like you're about to take on a whole army of... 10 00:00:27,829 --> 00:00:30,329 one bald guy? 11 00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:32,631 [alarm stops] You do all this damage yourself, shiny? 12 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:35,768 Yeah. Pretty impressive, huh? 13 00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:39,308 [Spider-Man] It doesn't add up. You're a big guy, 14 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:42,174 but that wall looks like it was hit by a wrecking ball. 15 00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:45,211 And there it is. Man, can I call 'em or what? 16 00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:46,512 I should have my own detective show. 17 00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:49,615 People call me the Absorbing Man. 18 00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:51,851 'Cause you have paper towel powers? 19 00:00:51,853 --> 00:00:55,421 Because I can absorb anything. 20 00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:58,057 [grunts] 21 00:00:58,059 --> 00:01:00,626 [grunts] Right. Just like paper towels can. 22 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:03,662 You sure you don't wanna go with "Paper Towel Man"? [groans] 23 00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:06,532 I promise you no other bad guys are using that name. [grunts] 24 00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,167 [grunting] 25 00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:09,301 [grunting] 26 00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:16,475 Insult me all you want. I have thick skin. 27 00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,344 Or, better yet, 28 00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:20,846 sharp skin. 29 00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:23,249 Uh-oh. 30 00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:24,583 [grunts] 31 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,554 [grunts, groans] 32 00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:33,492 Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard face! 33 00:01:35,692 --> 00:01:39,057 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 34 00:01:44,886 --> 00:01:46,335 [grunts] 35 00:01:46,519 --> 00:01:48,340 [grunts] 36 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,942 [both grunt] 37 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:53,512 So, you become what you touch, huh? 38 00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:55,214 [car alarm blaring] 39 00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:57,149 [car alarm honking] [car alarm blaring] 40 00:01:58,885 --> 00:02:00,252 [grunts] 41 00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:03,689 [grunts, yells] 42 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:06,425 Let's see what happens when you can't touch anything. 43 00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,394 Hmm? Now, what do we have here? 44 00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:13,032 - Your vacation photos? - Hey, gang! Screwball here! 45 00:02:13,034 --> 00:02:15,601 - Screwball? - With another fun fact. 46 00:02:15,603 --> 00:02:18,855 It's hard for a CEO to cut the ribbon on his polluting 47 00:02:18,856 --> 00:02:22,107 power plant headquarters if he doesn't have the ribbon! 48 00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:24,877 Let this be a lesson to all you corporate shills. 49 00:02:24,879 --> 00:02:27,413 You never know when you'll be surprised by... 50 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:29,548 [grunts] Spider-Man? 51 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:32,451 Mmm. [yells] Metal. 52 00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:33,719 [grunting] 53 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:36,255 [screaming] 54 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,490 You might want to look [grunts] both ways next time. 55 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,627 And you might not wanna stand there this time. 56 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,595 Sorry, Spider-Man. 57 00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,931 I expected those business goons to chase me. 58 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:48,734 [grunts, laughs] 59 00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:52,104 - Great. - Smile, Spider-Man. 60 00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:53,439 [Screwball's voice] 61 00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:55,274 [laughing] 62 00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:58,677 Pete, you have got to watch the new Screwball video. 63 00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,747 Not right now, Harry. I'm working on something. 64 00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:03,349 [click] 65 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:08,120 [beeping] Pretty heavy security for vacation photos. 66 00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:11,590 Check it out. She totally messes with Spider-Man. 67 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,876 - It's hilarious. - Is it? 'Cause thanks 68 00:03:14,911 --> 00:03:16,829 to this Screwball character, Spider-Man lost a bad guy. 69 00:03:16,831 --> 00:03:20,499 Oh, please! Spider-Man needs to be taken down a peg. 70 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,801 [chuckles] This Screwball's my new hero. 71 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,337 She's not a hero, Harry. 72 00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,439 Heroes have power and responsibility. 73 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,208 Screwball doesn't have either. 74 00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:32,945 Oh, she has power, all right. The power of the Internet. 75 00:03:32,947 --> 00:03:34,947 This video's only been up a few hours, 76 00:03:34,949 --> 00:03:37,716 and it already has hundreds of thousands of views. 77 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:41,462 - Views aren't power. - They're not? Look around. 78 00:03:41,497 --> 00:03:43,789 - You've been Screwballed! - Must be a slow news day. 79 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,290 [laughing] Come on! 80 00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:47,659 - What's so funny? - Oh, hey, Liz. 81 00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:50,162 Just watching Screwball's latest post. Have you seen it? 82 00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:53,864 Uh, no, not yet. What are people saying? Do they like it? 83 00:03:53,899 --> 00:03:57,503 Oh, yeah. It's by far her best. It has Spider-Man in it. 84 00:03:57,505 --> 00:03:59,471 And that's the only reason people care about it. 85 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:03,509 People care because Screwball takes on corruption with cool pranks, 86 00:04:03,511 --> 00:04:07,076 - not because it has Spider-Man in it. - Really? Then why 87 00:04:07,111 --> 00:04:10,716 does this video have four times as many views as all her others? 88 00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:13,255 It does? 89 00:04:13,290 --> 00:04:17,556 Well, if involving Spider-Man brings more attention to my causes, 90 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:21,638 then Spider-Man is exactly what my viewers are gonna get. 91 00:04:21,673 --> 00:04:23,162 [beeps] 92 00:04:23,164 --> 00:04:27,499 Hey, guys. Welcome to Screwball's brand-new Spidey segment. 93 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,569 At least once a week, I'll be making a video about Spider-Man. 94 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,604 So sound off in the comments, and let me know 95 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,373 what you think of the old webhead. 96 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:37,276 - You've been Screwballed! - Agh! 97 00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:40,579 - Where is it? - Where's what? 98 00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:43,282 I told you to grab everything in the safe. 99 00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:47,687 - And I did. - I don't care about diamonds. 100 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:49,288 I wanted the flash drive! 101 00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:52,524 [chuckling] Oh, that. Spider-Man got it. 102 00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:56,895 You imbecile. That store is a front for The Owl, 103 00:04:56,897 --> 00:05:00,566 who was blackmailing me with the information on that drive! 104 00:05:00,568 --> 00:05:04,933 - Why didn't you tell me all this? - Because I wanted 105 00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:07,706 to keep it simple enough to absorb through your thick skull! 106 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:11,610 The only reason I hired you was so he wouldn't trace it to me! 107 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:15,586 - And stop eating my chips! - I'm not! 108 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,750 [yells] Busted. 109 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:22,654 That drive has enough dirt on it to put me away forever, 110 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,324 and now Spider-Man has it. 111 00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:27,559 You get it back, and keep my name out of it, 112 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:31,096 - or so help me... [grunts] - Ow! 113 00:05:31,098 --> 00:05:35,000 ...there won't be enough of you left to scoop up salsa! 114 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,304 That's not funny. 115 00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:42,074 Spider-Man should leave the crime-fighting to the police... 116 00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:46,745 [laughter] but keep being part of those hilarious videos. 117 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:50,149 Leave Spider-Man alone. Spider-Man rules! 118 00:05:50,151 --> 00:05:53,652 Which is also the name of my Spider-Man fan page. 119 00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:57,456 Spider-Man's a menace. I had to look that word up. 120 00:05:57,458 --> 00:06:01,160 But once I did, I agreed. A menace! 121 00:06:01,162 --> 00:06:03,676 - What are you doing?! - Gotta go. 122 00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,198 - Hey, Liz. - Hey, Randy. 123 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,201 Can we move our study group to... Oh, come on! 124 00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:11,270 Don't tell me you're a Screwball fan too. 125 00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:13,839 Why wouldn't I be? She's great. 126 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,642 She's everything that's wrong with the Internet. 127 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:20,445 If she really wanted to make a difference, she'd do something legitimate. 128 00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:24,280 - Like your boring blog? - Exactly! I mean... 129 00:06:24,315 --> 00:06:27,185 It's not boring. In fact, 130 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,787 you know that power company she pranked last week? 131 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,690 It was one of a dozen businesses bought up on the same day 132 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,659 by the same anonymous corporation. 133 00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:36,862 I haven't cracked who it is yet, but my gut tells me the Mob's behind it. 134 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,664 They have... You know what? 135 00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,832 I'll just send you my story. It's only 35 pages. 136 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:44,036 I'm good, thanks. I just think you're jealous because 137 00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:47,239 Screwball gets a ton of hits, and your blog only has... three. 138 00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:50,642 So what? Screwball's numbers are down too. 139 00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:53,412 Without new footage of Spider-Man, she's nothing. 140 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:57,249 Hey, finding Spider-Man is hard. Probably. 141 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,251 Oh, I have to go. 142 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:02,321 My dad's speaking a the groundbreaking ceremony for 143 00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:05,390 the city's new media building today. Now, he's a real journalist. 144 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:08,594 In fact, every major news outlet's gonna be there, 145 00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:11,997 including my blog, thank you very much. 146 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:15,687 Every major outlet, huh? 147 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,574 [chattering] 148 00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,715 Thanks for coming out to support my dad, guys. 149 00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:32,117 I didn't even know you knew about this event. 150 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,953 Oh, thi... [chuckling] Of course we did. 151 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:37,857 And it has nothing to do with the fact that we were across 152 00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:40,759 - the street having lunch. - Don't let him fool you, Randy. 153 00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,148 It's just nice to do something 154 00:07:42,149 --> 00:07:44,229 that doesn't involve our competing schools for a change. 155 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:48,734 Well, technically, my dad is lending them an Oscorp worker bot. 156 00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:51,570 [Peter] I should've known. 157 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:55,207 Well, maybe you can use a Horizon High pen to write the story. 158 00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:57,943 [laughter] [Robertson over mic] Thank you, everyone. 159 00:07:57,945 --> 00:08:01,446 Before we break ground, I'd like to say a few words, 160 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:03,915 and though my editor won't believe me, 161 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,118 I promise it'll only be a few. 162 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,819 [laughter] People always ask 163 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,422 if I have any advice for the next generation. 164 00:08:10,424 --> 00:08:15,127 If I do, it's this: value your story. 165 00:08:15,129 --> 00:08:19,131 Nowadays, anyone anywhere can have an audience of millions. 166 00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:24,069 But being seen by those people isn't the same as reaching them. 167 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:27,005 A real writer doesn't care about getting likes, 168 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,007 they care about making a difference, 169 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:32,744 whether it's for 100,000 people or just one. 170 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:36,014 [cheering] And now, let's put this big guy to work 171 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:39,318 and break some ground on this new building. 172 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:43,322 What's it doing? [grunts] 173 00:08:43,324 --> 00:08:45,390 I'm okay, son. 174 00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:49,161 You've just been Screwballed! 175 00:08:49,163 --> 00:08:51,163 [crowd] It's Screwball! 176 00:08:51,165 --> 00:08:54,299 - This is awful. She could've hurt my dad! - I love your videos! 177 00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:57,302 Don't worry, Randy. Her pranks look worse than they are. 178 00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:58,704 Right, Pete? 179 00:08:58,706 --> 00:09:00,772 Um... Pete? 180 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:03,108 [sighs] Typical Parker. 181 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:05,844 You took over the worker bot? 182 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:09,582 - Not cool, Screwball. - Ha! Are you kidding? 183 00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:11,283 I'm just getting started. 184 00:09:11,285 --> 00:09:13,661 [humming] [music] 185 00:09:14,787 --> 00:09:19,091 - Whoa! [yells] - Screwball! No! 186 00:09:20,843 --> 00:09:21,843 [screaming] 187 00:09:21,845 --> 00:09:23,979 Hold on! [grunts] 188 00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:26,047 Thanks for the save, Spider-Man. [beeps] 189 00:09:28,184 --> 00:09:30,869 [Spider-Man] What in... A billboard? 190 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:31,670 [crowd gasps] 191 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,121 You're gonna answer for that one. 192 00:09:33,123 --> 00:09:36,791 A bungee cord? [grunts] 193 00:09:37,793 --> 00:09:38,960 [groaning in disgust] 194 00:09:38,962 --> 00:09:40,962 And cut! 195 00:09:40,964 --> 00:09:44,232 Nice work, Spidey. I was hoping for the banner plug, 196 00:09:44,234 --> 00:09:46,234 but the quick-drying cement was an added bonus. 197 00:09:46,236 --> 00:09:49,371 [grunting] And what if someone out there 198 00:09:49,373 --> 00:09:51,806 needed my help while I was preoccupied here with you? 199 00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:55,577 Relax, Spidey. This city is full of heroes. 200 00:09:55,579 --> 00:09:59,584 I can't help it if my viewers wanna see us together. 201 00:09:59,815 --> 00:10:01,182 [grunting] 202 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,251 - Spidey, Spidey! - Over here! Give us a smile. 203 00:10:03,253 --> 00:10:04,886 [groans] Nice! 204 00:10:04,888 --> 00:10:06,922 You've been Screwballed! [laughing] 205 00:10:10,393 --> 00:10:15,096 Are you seriously still watching stupid Internet videos? 206 00:10:15,098 --> 00:10:18,400 You're supposed to be getting my drive back from Spider-Man! 207 00:10:18,402 --> 00:10:23,104 I tried. I broke into another jewelry store to draw him out, 208 00:10:23,106 --> 00:10:26,107 but that Avenger Hawkeye showed up instead. 209 00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:30,579 I don't want excuses! I want you to find Spider-Man. 210 00:10:30,581 --> 00:10:33,882 Your little Internet friend here doesn't seem to have any trouble finding him. 211 00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:39,220 - Maybe they're partners, like us. - We are not partners! 212 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,591 Although, that's not a bad idea. 213 00:10:42,593 --> 00:10:45,794 Really? 'Cause I can move my stuff in tomorrow. 214 00:10:45,796 --> 00:10:48,063 I'm talking about the girl. 215 00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:52,267 We get the girl, we get Spider-Man. 216 00:10:52,269 --> 00:10:54,903 But how do we find him? 217 00:10:54,905 --> 00:11:00,809 Look, there's always something. Always something they forget. 218 00:11:00,811 --> 00:11:03,612 "Midtown High School." There! 219 00:11:03,614 --> 00:11:06,080 Now get on it! 220 00:11:07,049 --> 00:11:09,250 You've just been Screwballed! 221 00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,486 [crowd laughing, chattering] 222 00:11:11,488 --> 00:11:13,755 Not a Screwball fan either, huh? 223 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:16,091 - I thought I was the only one. - No way. 224 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:19,794 The Internet is the most powerful technology in human history, 225 00:11:19,796 --> 00:11:24,132 and we use it for prank videos. Such a waste. 226 00:11:24,134 --> 00:11:27,569 - Hey, is that a school project? - What? No. 227 00:11:27,571 --> 00:11:31,139 - I mean, yes. - An asymmetric encryption key? 228 00:11:31,141 --> 00:11:33,975 Mind if I take a look? 229 00:11:33,977 --> 00:11:35,243 [beeping] 230 00:11:35,245 --> 00:11:39,147 Whoa. You don't see a lot of these. 231 00:11:39,149 --> 00:11:42,083 You know what this is? Can you crack it? 232 00:11:42,085 --> 00:11:46,187 Are you kidding? This kind of problem solving is my favorite. 233 00:11:46,189 --> 00:11:48,957 Here. I'll show you what you're missing. 234 00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:51,893 [keyboard clacking] I think what I was missing was you. 235 00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:01,002 [boy] Aw. Flash, you're out. 236 00:12:01,004 --> 00:12:02,971 Bring me Screwball! 237 00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:04,506 [students gasping, murmuring] 238 00:12:04,508 --> 00:12:06,941 [boy] Hey, get outta here! 239 00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:09,544 You're out! Get lost, freak! 240 00:12:10,513 --> 00:12:11,579 Now! 241 00:12:12,782 --> 00:12:15,884 [clamoring] [music] 242 00:12:15,886 --> 00:12:19,354 Hey! No one's going anywhere! 243 00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:22,323 [grunts] [yells] 244 00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:25,660 Hey, one of you twerps knows where she is. 245 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,228 So tell me. 246 00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:29,664 [Randy grunting] Oh, no! 247 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,901 Guess this isn't just about me anymore. 248 00:12:32,903 --> 00:12:35,937 But maybe I can do something from here. 249 00:12:37,139 --> 00:12:39,674 [beeps] Spider-Man, this is Screwball. 250 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:41,676 Got it! I broke the encryption. 251 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:43,678 And we have... 252 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,581 a bunch of files with scrambled titles, 253 00:12:46,583 --> 00:12:49,584 all connected to... Hammerhead? 254 00:12:49,586 --> 00:12:52,353 Isn't he a gangster? 255 00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:55,724 He is. But what do those scrambled titles mean? 256 00:12:55,726 --> 00:12:58,526 I don't know, but there are a dozen of these files. 257 00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:00,562 [phone humming] 258 00:13:00,564 --> 00:13:04,399 [beeps] Anya says we need to check out the new Screwball video. 259 00:13:04,401 --> 00:13:08,482 She knows I'm not a fan, so this should be interesting. 260 00:13:09,405 --> 00:13:12,040 Spider-Man, this is Screwball. 261 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:14,843 I need you to come to Midtown High right away. I'm in trouble. 262 00:13:14,845 --> 00:13:17,078 I hope Spider-Man is watching this. 263 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,414 [sighs] It's probably just another prank. 264 00:13:19,416 --> 00:13:22,717 That girl will do anything for attention. 265 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:25,253 I'm getting impatient. 266 00:13:25,255 --> 00:13:28,256 Hi. Randy Robertson, freelance journalist. 267 00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:32,293 What do you want with Screwball... [grunts] exactly? 268 00:13:32,295 --> 00:13:34,395 Stop stalling! 269 00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:37,465 If Screwball doesn't show herself in ten seconds, 270 00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:40,101 this guy's gonna be toast. 271 00:13:40,103 --> 00:13:41,703 - Come on, Spidey. Where are you? - Ten. 272 00:13:41,705 --> 00:13:44,305 - Is it possible he's not coming? - Nine. Eight. 273 00:13:44,307 --> 00:13:48,042 - Did I prank him one too many times? - Seven. Six. 274 00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:51,279 - [sighs] Okay. I don't need Spider-Man. - Five. Four. 275 00:13:51,281 --> 00:13:54,149 - I'm Screwball. I'm just as good as him, right? - Three. Two. 276 00:13:54,151 --> 00:13:56,251 - Better, even. - One. 277 00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:59,888 Let him go! 278 00:13:59,890 --> 00:14:02,480 You're about to be Screwballed! 279 00:14:03,325 --> 00:14:06,161 [both grunting] 280 00:14:06,163 --> 00:14:08,429 [laughing] Huh? 281 00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:11,432 Did you really think you were a superhero? 282 00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:15,403 And did you really think you could pull off that tank top? 283 00:14:15,405 --> 00:14:18,239 Spider-Man! [grunts] You came! 284 00:14:18,241 --> 00:14:20,575 I was worried you thought my video was a prank. 285 00:14:20,577 --> 00:14:23,077 To be honest, I was wondering if it might be. 286 00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:25,413 But that's the thing about being a hero. 287 00:14:25,415 --> 00:14:27,148 You don't get to wonder. 288 00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:31,900 Webs! I don't know why [yells] I didn't do this earlier. 289 00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,850 [grunting] 290 00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:36,497 Smothered by webs? 291 00:14:36,499 --> 00:14:39,300 Is this irony? Feels like irony. 292 00:14:39,302 --> 00:14:43,251 Also feels like a good time to use my web dissolvent. [beeping] 293 00:14:43,405 --> 00:14:44,973 [screaming] 294 00:14:44,975 --> 00:14:47,508 That wasn't nice! 295 00:14:47,510 --> 00:14:50,411 Nice? Now you're worried about being nice? 296 00:14:50,413 --> 00:14:52,547 [grunts] 297 00:14:56,518 --> 00:14:58,252 [grunts] Aahh! 298 00:14:58,254 --> 00:15:01,589 Just give me the flash drive, and I'll let them go! 299 00:15:01,591 --> 00:15:04,659 The flash drive! That's what this is about?! 300 00:15:04,661 --> 00:15:07,128 I don't have it on me. Do you see pockets? 301 00:15:07,130 --> 00:15:09,630 Fine, then. 302 00:15:09,632 --> 00:15:14,035 Meet me at the new media building construction site. 303 00:15:14,037 --> 00:15:17,306 Be there in an hour, or you'll find 304 00:15:17,307 --> 00:15:20,575 a couple of concrete teens waiting for ya. 305 00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:23,916 Get to safety! 306 00:15:25,647 --> 00:15:29,550 Just a sec. This is gonna get so many likes. [shutter clicks] 307 00:15:29,552 --> 00:15:30,752 [chuckles] 308 00:15:33,288 --> 00:15:37,658 - This is all my fault. - Now, there's a news flash. 309 00:15:37,660 --> 00:15:41,729 But... you did put your life on the line to save a total stranger. 310 00:15:41,731 --> 00:15:43,598 You're not a stranger, Randy. 311 00:15:45,467 --> 00:15:49,637 - You're my friend. - Liz? But why? 312 00:15:49,639 --> 00:15:54,914 [sighs] I don't know. I used to feel so... special. 313 00:15:54,949 --> 00:15:58,679 I was a straight-A student, the class president of Midtown High. 314 00:15:58,681 --> 00:16:02,350 But then came genius schools like Horizon High and Oz Academy, 315 00:16:02,352 --> 00:16:05,520 and those things didn't seem to be enough anymore. 316 00:16:05,522 --> 00:16:08,222 So I became Screwball. 317 00:16:08,224 --> 00:16:10,658 Thought I could be a hero to the community. 318 00:16:10,660 --> 00:16:14,262 I guess I lost sight of that when I started focusing on Spider-Man. 319 00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:17,665 I felt powerful because I had the attention. 320 00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:21,436 But I guess it takes a different kind of power to be a real hero. 321 00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:26,058 - Well, saving my life was no small thing. - Thanks. 322 00:16:32,448 --> 00:16:34,182 Get out! 323 00:16:37,619 --> 00:16:40,088 Dangling over a cement mixer? 324 00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:42,623 Oh, that's the last time I let you watch the kids. 325 00:16:42,625 --> 00:16:46,027 Spider-Man, you made it. 326 00:16:46,029 --> 00:16:48,629 Hand over the drive, and nobody gets hurt. 327 00:16:48,631 --> 00:16:50,965 Sure. Should I give it to you, 328 00:16:50,967 --> 00:16:53,601 or directly to your boss, Hammerhead? 329 00:16:53,603 --> 00:16:58,777 Oh-ho, congratulations. You figured out the dumb 330 00:16:58,812 --> 00:17:01,209 brute's actually working for me. You want a medal? 331 00:17:01,211 --> 00:17:04,745 No. Although there's probably enough metal in your head 332 00:17:04,747 --> 00:17:06,881 to give me the gold, silver, and bronze. 333 00:17:06,883 --> 00:17:11,953 Just deliver the goods, and we'll let the kids go. 334 00:17:11,955 --> 00:17:13,821 Sure thing. 335 00:17:14,590 --> 00:17:20,128 - Now let them go. - Oh, that's exactly what I plan on doing. 336 00:17:20,130 --> 00:17:21,662 Drop 'em! [grunts] 337 00:17:21,664 --> 00:17:23,598 [both screaming] 338 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,100 I knew a thug like you couldn't be trusted. 339 00:17:26,102 --> 00:17:28,669 But I thought I'd give you a chance before I went to the police 340 00:17:28,671 --> 00:17:31,613 with the list of businesses you're using to launder money. 341 00:17:31,648 --> 00:17:34,561 - What? Well, how did you... - Easy. 342 00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:38,746 - Just used the old noggin. - Extinguish that bug! 343 00:17:38,781 --> 00:17:40,815 [all grunting] 344 00:17:42,818 --> 00:17:44,018 [groans] Oops. 345 00:17:44,020 --> 00:17:48,689 Can't I have just one person that does what I need 'em to do? 346 00:17:48,691 --> 00:17:50,758 I'll take care of this myself. 347 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,693 [grunts] 348 00:17:55,631 --> 00:17:56,731 [grunts] 349 00:17:58,133 --> 00:18:00,935 See how easily you're replaced, Absorbing Man? 350 00:18:00,937 --> 00:18:03,938 Clearly, your boss likes 'em big, bad, and easy to control. 351 00:18:03,940 --> 00:18:09,610 [growls] Oh? Then he's gonna love this new power I have. 352 00:18:09,612 --> 00:18:12,213 Sometimes I don't know why I open my mouth. 353 00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:15,316 [laughing] 354 00:18:15,318 --> 00:18:18,819 [echoing] Didn't know I could increase in size, did ya? 355 00:18:18,821 --> 00:18:21,689 Hold still. I'll have us outta here in a second. 356 00:18:21,691 --> 00:18:24,125 [grunts] You increased in size and strength, 357 00:18:24,127 --> 00:18:25,960 but sadly not in looks. [grunts] 358 00:18:27,963 --> 00:18:29,063 [grunting] 359 00:18:29,065 --> 00:18:32,733 [yells] No! 360 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:36,804 [grunts] I just got an idea. 361 00:18:36,806 --> 00:18:39,410 Yo, chrome dome! Over here! 362 00:18:41,343 --> 00:18:42,643 [grunts] 363 00:18:42,645 --> 00:18:45,680 [electricity arcing] [grunting] 364 00:18:45,682 --> 00:18:48,249 That's an impressive ability you have there. 365 00:18:48,251 --> 00:18:50,751 Not as impressive as absorbing knowledge, of course. 366 00:18:50,753 --> 00:18:52,820 [grunts] 367 00:18:52,822 --> 00:18:56,324 I'd pick strength over smarts any day. 368 00:18:56,326 --> 00:18:59,360 I figured. Otherwise you would've realized 369 00:18:59,362 --> 00:19:01,729 that the metal you just absorbed was lithium. 370 00:19:01,731 --> 00:19:04,035 Yeah? So what?! 371 00:19:04,070 --> 00:19:07,768 So, lithium doesn't react well with certain compounds. 372 00:19:07,770 --> 00:19:09,870 Like your face? 373 00:19:09,872 --> 00:19:13,507 No. [grunts] Like water. 374 00:19:13,509 --> 00:19:14,775 [sizzling] Huh? 375 00:19:14,777 --> 00:19:17,778 [screaming] 376 00:19:20,849 --> 00:19:23,384 [screaming stops] 377 00:19:23,386 --> 00:19:26,387 - Is he gone? - Sadly, I doubt it. 378 00:19:26,389 --> 00:19:28,789 He'll probably pull himself together soon enough. 379 00:19:28,791 --> 00:19:30,512 Still, that was amazing! 380 00:19:30,513 --> 00:19:33,094 - You saved the day! - With your help. 381 00:19:33,096 --> 00:19:35,530 That drive didn't mean a thing until I remembered the story 382 00:19:35,531 --> 00:19:37,965 on your blog about the companies that were just bought up. 383 00:19:37,967 --> 00:19:41,969 You... You read my blog?! 384 00:19:41,971 --> 00:19:44,650 Spider-Man is one of my three hits! 385 00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:45,761 [thunderous thud] Uh-oh. 386 00:19:45,796 --> 00:19:47,608 - [grunts] Spider-Sense. - Whoa! 387 00:19:47,610 --> 00:19:51,585 [Hammerhead] I'm gonna crush you like the insect you are! 388 00:19:53,215 --> 00:19:55,916 What's wrong with this piece of junk? 389 00:19:55,918 --> 00:19:58,786 You've just been Screwballed! 390 00:19:59,655 --> 00:20:04,425 Wha... You've gotta be... Hey! I hate that kid! 391 00:20:04,427 --> 00:20:07,370 You've just been Spider-Man... ned! 392 00:20:07,405 --> 00:20:10,097 [grunting] 393 00:20:10,099 --> 00:20:11,899 Hope you got his swan dive on camera. 394 00:20:11,901 --> 00:20:14,969 Oh, I got it. Among other things. 395 00:20:16,738 --> 00:20:19,340 [grunting] [Screwball's voice] 396 00:20:19,342 --> 00:20:21,575 [Screwball chuckles] It's pretty funny. 397 00:20:21,577 --> 00:20:24,945 [muffled grunting] Depends on what side you're on. 398 00:20:24,947 --> 00:20:27,682 Although today, I was glad you were on my side. 399 00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,484 But I also started this whole mess. 400 00:20:30,486 --> 00:20:32,920 Fixing your mistakes is part of being a hero. 401 00:20:32,922 --> 00:20:37,491 - A hero? Me? - After today? Absolutely. 402 00:20:37,493 --> 00:20:41,028 [chuckles] That's better than a million likes. 403 00:20:41,030 --> 00:20:45,099 Still, maybe it's time I went back to just being me. 404 00:20:46,101 --> 00:20:47,101 [sighs] 405 00:20:47,103 --> 00:20:50,504 - Liz Allan? - You know who I am? 406 00:20:50,506 --> 00:20:52,807 Uh, of course. 407 00:20:52,809 --> 00:20:56,310 You're Midtown High's class president. Everybody knows that. 408 00:20:56,312 --> 00:20:57,812 [siren wailing] [both gasp] 409 00:20:57,814 --> 00:21:01,882 And the perfect person to hand over Absorbing Man to the police. 410 00:21:01,884 --> 00:21:03,718 Not to mention Hammerhead. [muffled grunting] 411 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,187 So, it turns out the biggest Spidey fail 412 00:21:06,189 --> 00:21:08,155 was that I failed Spidey. 413 00:21:08,157 --> 00:21:10,791 He was doing the kind of good I set out to do, 414 00:21:10,793 --> 00:21:13,227 but I got caught up in the popularity of it all. 415 00:21:13,229 --> 00:21:15,363 And I'm sorry about that. 416 00:21:15,365 --> 00:21:17,865 This is my last Screwball video for a while. 417 00:21:17,867 --> 00:21:20,167 In the meantime, for real news, 418 00:21:20,169 --> 00:21:23,404 Randy Robertson's blog has got you covered. 419 00:21:23,406 --> 00:21:24,972 So Spidey saved the day. 420 00:21:24,974 --> 00:21:27,074 I guess he really is a true hero, huh, Harry? 421 00:21:27,076 --> 00:21:29,076 Aw, please! 422 00:21:29,078 --> 00:21:32,362 You can't believe everything you see on the Internet, Pete. 423 00:21:32,713 --> 00:21:34,648 [sighs] 424 00:21:35,103 --> 00:21:36,843 [slurps] 425 00:21:37,019 --> 00:21:41,309 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~