1 00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:03,902 Always sleep with a pillow between my legs. 2 00:00:03,904 --> 00:00:06,337 Any questions? 3 00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,873 Yeah. 4 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:10,542 Why the fuck are you breastfeeding 5 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:11,677 Your granddaughter? 6 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:12,811 Kate: And how the fuck 7 00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:15,380 Are you breastfeeding your granddaughter? 8 00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:16,849 [sighs] 9 00:00:16,851 --> 00:00:17,983 To answer your question, 10 00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:20,152 Jackie's mom is on a bender in tibet, 11 00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:22,054 So I popped a nip in her mouth to calm her down, 12 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:24,189 And suddenly she just started suckling 13 00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:26,525 From my free-flowing teat. 14 00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:29,528 Do your... Boys know that their mother's... 15 00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:31,863 Teat is in their child's mouth right now? 16 00:00:31,932 --> 00:00:33,098 No. 17 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:33,932 But I'm sure they'd think it was fine. 18 00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:36,201 I mean, look at us! 19 00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,870 We're both so happy! 20 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:41,874 Sloane: [sobbing] 21 00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:43,976 Sorry, don't mind me. I'm fine. 22 00:00:44,111 --> 00:00:45,210 Are you sure? 23 00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:46,478 Because your mouth is saying you're good, 24 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,815 But water is falling from your eyes like you're bad. 25 00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:50,949 I'm just feeling overwhelmed. 26 00:00:50,985 --> 00:00:51,984 Oh, yeah. 27 00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:54,887 Sloane: Exhausted, all the time. 28 00:00:55,022 --> 00:00:57,555 Being pulled in a million directions. 29 00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,792 It's like I'm treading water... 30 00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,160 In a hurricane. 31 00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:04,096 Choking on seawater, being slapped around by waves. 32 00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:07,298 Drowning, but like, lightly. 33 00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,367 Oh, boy. Yeah, that's the picture. 34 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:10,368 Yeah. 35 00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:11,703 Sloane: Anyway, don't mind me. 36 00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:14,973 I'm just having a moment, and the good news is... 37 00:01:14,975 --> 00:01:16,041 It is going to get better, right? 38 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:19,244 [laughs] 39 00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:22,247 Anne: That's a good one. That's really good. 40 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:23,682 Are you saying it doesn't? 41 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:24,883 Anne: No! God, no. 42 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,451 These are the good years. Wait until they're walking. 43 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,785 That's when the real tornado hits. 44 00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:29,054 Mm-hm, or when they come home with a jizz boy tattoo. 45 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:32,457 And don't even get me started on when they use your name 46 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,126 On a down payment for a warehouse because 47 00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,928 They think they're going to "enter the space race." 48 00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:38,730 That phase blows. 49 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,465 So what you're saying is that it's just... 50 00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,301 Always gonna be hard? Kate: There we go. 51 00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:44,769 Anne: Yeah. Val: 100%. 52 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:50,275 ♪ 53 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,777 Kate: Why did we do it, you think? 54 00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:01,619 Kate: Mm. 55 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:10,162 Mm. 56 00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:12,130 So... 57 00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:14,700 About last night. 58 00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,903 I feel as though I owe you both an apology. 59 00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:20,305 I'm sure what you saw was deeply disturbing, 60 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,642 And potentially traumatizing for years to come. 61 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,778 But, you know, when it comes to therapy, 62 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:30,449 I got you covered, so don't even think about that. 63 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:31,649 Kate: Mm-hm. 64 00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:33,085 Also, believe it or not, you know, it's just work, 65 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,520 What you saw. 66 00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:35,988 It's just some good old-fashioned, you know, 67 00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:37,189 Market research. 68 00:02:37,191 --> 00:02:39,658 I'd rather not talk about it. 69 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,526 I'd also rather not talk about it. 70 00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,328 And can you please remove this from the table? 71 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,529 We eat here. Kate: Oh, I'm sorry. 72 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:45,197 I just wanted him to dry out. 73 00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,998 I'll just put him... 74 00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:48,800 But, you know, it has to be said... 75 00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:51,670 [vampire voice] who is sexually repressed now?! 76 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,172 Kate. 77 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,007 I was doing a vampire kind of... 78 00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:56,842 Kate: Sorry. He's in the purse. 79 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:57,742 Gonna take him to work. 80 00:02:57,744 --> 00:02:58,243 You're never gonna see him again. 81 00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,912 He's gone. Poof! 82 00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:00,745 Um... 83 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,280 I'm gonna go to school early. 84 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,448 Probably for the best. 85 00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,350 Okay. Great talk! 86 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,084 I feel like we covered it, we got it clear, 87 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,152 It's all clean now. 88 00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:10,222 Have a great day. And this is all fine. 89 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:14,893 Everything's fine. 90 00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:17,496 Do you think that he saw... 91 00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:18,897 Everything? 92 00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:19,397 He saw enough. 93 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:24,436 Yeah, okay. Mm-hm. 94 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,304 How are... How are you feeling? 95 00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:28,373 Any headaches, or bloating, or..? 96 00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:29,107 Do I... Look bloated? 97 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:30,241 Kate: What? No. 98 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,177 No, you look great. You look very good. 99 00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,245 No... No bloating. 100 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,646 Well, good. 101 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,514 I'm actually starting to feel a lot more like myself. 102 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,550 Hm, look at us, killing it on all fronts! 103 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,852 You're feeling good, I just got word that a few more retailers 104 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,454 Want to pick up seedless, 105 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:45,390 And my stepson probably didn't see my entire vulva. 106 00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:46,258 You know? Nathan: Exciting stuff. 107 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:49,193 Almost as exciting as, uh... 108 00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,695 Don't you say it. 109 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:53,064 The new episode of "the best lay" that drops tonight. 110 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,265 Don't say "drops." 111 00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:57,002 And get this... This shit's live. 112 00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:58,403 Tell me you're gonna be home. 113 00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:00,739 I mean, I want to, I do, but, you know, 114 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,741 Work has been crazy lately, and honestly, 115 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,276 They've been practising this new fire alarm 116 00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:05,844 That just takes a lot of time. 117 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:06,811 Come on! 118 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:09,047 [sighs] okay, okay, I will be here. 119 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,783 But I do have to go to work. 120 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,152 Actually, correction-- we have to go to work. 121 00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:17,622 [vampire voice] we carpool on account of the environment! 122 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,024 Seriously, stop doing that! 123 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:21,059 I feel like you're being dramatic and this is very funny. 124 00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:22,494 Whatever. 125 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:23,828 "dramatic" is finding that thing between your legs. 126 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,229 But honestly, he gave me a good time. 127 00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:28,232 Nathan: That's revolting. 128 00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:30,201 Lionel: Ha-ha... Okay. 129 00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:33,505 Look at this web. 130 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,973 Is that an "if" or an "it?" 131 00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:37,108 I can't quite make it out. 132 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,077 For the last time, this is not "charlotte's web." 133 00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,146 She's gone, honey. Alice: Who's gone? 134 00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,315 Your father is convinced that tula's still here 135 00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:45,483 And has been spinning messages for him in her web. 136 00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:46,651 Tarantulas don't spin webs. 137 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,286 Lionel: They don't? Alice: No. 138 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,321 They also don't leave messages. 139 00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,457 Hey, are you home for dinner tonight? 140 00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:53,324 I haven't seen you lately. Alice: No. 141 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,327 I... Have drama club. 142 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:58,463 Yeah, right. 143 00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,098 And I have dinosaur club. 144 00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,533 Alice: No, I'm serious. 145 00:05:01,668 --> 00:05:04,069 Why is it unbelievable that I could be in drama club? 146 00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:07,339 Do you believe you could be in drama club? 147 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,140 What your father is trying to say is 148 00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:12,878 That this is the first that we're hearing of it, that's all. 149 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,279 Okay, well, now you know. 150 00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:17,148 And now I'm leaving, so... 151 00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,817 Bye. 152 00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:21,686 Bye. 153 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:24,222 [sighs] [door closes] 154 00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:25,157 Lionel: Drama club, my ass. Anne: What? 155 00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:26,291 Lionel: If she was in drama club, 156 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,126 She'd be a way better liar. 157 00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:29,594 She is up to something, I know it. 158 00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,763 I don't know. I mean, there is a drama club. 159 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:34,499 Maybe... She caught the thespian bug. 160 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,335 The "thespian bug?" 161 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,503 Who are you? Why are you not skeptical? 162 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:40,038 What have you done with my wife? 163 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,007 I'm just saying maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea 164 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,408 To give her the benefit of the doubt. 165 00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,510 God, we're always expecting the worst. 166 00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:48,780 Maybe that's the problem. Lionel: Yeah. 167 00:05:48,915 --> 00:05:50,449 I mean, she did play one hell of a cloud in that production 168 00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:52,850 Of "jack and the beanstalk" in kindergarten. 169 00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:53,652 There you go. 170 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,854 I gotta go. I'll see you later. 171 00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:58,523 ♪ 172 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:01,993 ♪ 173 00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,261 Mornin'! 174 00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:05,063 Kate... Quick word? 175 00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,264 Kate: You know, I think we should start developing 176 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,532 The new seedless ad, right? 177 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,067 Strike while the iron's hot? Get ahead of it? 178 00:06:10,104 --> 00:06:11,136 Oh! 179 00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,337 Hey, ram, denise! 180 00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:14,539 Here to celebrate? [chuckles] 181 00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:15,473 What? 182 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:18,743 Why do your faces look like that? 183 00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:21,880 Kate: "denise richards, the scientist behind seedless, 184 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,281 "the world's first male birth control pill, 185 00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:25,217 "rendered dozens of men sterile 186 00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:29,287 "during a university clinical trial 18 years ago." 187 00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:32,624 [sighs] is this really true? 188 00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:33,691 Yes. 189 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:34,692 Kate: Jesus christ, how did this happen? 190 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,962 Why didn't you tell me? Denise: I'm sorry. 191 00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:40,165 It's obviously not something I'm super proud of, 192 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,432 Or like to share. 193 00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:42,767 Yeah, I should hope not. 194 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,236 Denise: It wasn't just me, okay? 195 00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,171 I mean, I was a student looking for extra credit, 196 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,372 So I joined this research group that was developing 197 00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:49,841 A new drug for canker sores. 198 00:06:49,976 --> 00:06:51,977 It was just a dumb experiment. 199 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:54,012 Didn't everyone experiment in university? 200 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,379 Kate: For most people, experimenting in university 201 00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:57,782 Meant trying ecstasy 202 00:06:57,785 --> 00:07:01,186 Or mastering a three-course meal in a microwave, not... 203 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,387 Sterilizing men! 204 00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:03,521 Ram: This is really bad. 205 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:07,124 They're calling her "the sterilizer." 206 00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:08,326 Which is apt. 207 00:07:08,362 --> 00:07:10,262 Those poor guys. 208 00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:13,398 What? It's occasionally okay to feel bad for men. 209 00:07:13,533 --> 00:07:15,400 Isn't it? 210 00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:17,269 Okay, who even published this article? 211 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:17,802 Scientific quarterly? 212 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:20,138 Who reads that? 213 00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:20,605 The associated press. 214 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,440 Goddammit. 215 00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:24,309 Ram: Which means that everyone is picking it up. 216 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,144 Buzzfeed, salon, reader's digest, you name it. 217 00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:28,079 This is a nightmare. 218 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:29,814 One of our retailers just pulled out, 219 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,550 Because who is gonna take birth control 220 00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:32,483 From a woman who neuters men? 221 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,286 Okay, we can think of a solution. 222 00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:37,289 We just have to spin this. 223 00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:39,257 Rosie: I know... Kate: Okay. 224 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:42,293 Maybe people will think it's the other denise richards 225 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:45,096 Who did this... 226 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,297 Maybe. 227 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:48,300 Kate: Okay, goddammit. Denise: Oh, how about this? 228 00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:51,469 What about the 966 men in the trial that I didn't sterilize? 229 00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:53,671 We could spin that, right? Ram: Denise... 230 00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,440 We'll talk about this later. 231 00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:57,309 Ram: You made her the face of seedless. 232 00:07:57,311 --> 00:08:01,045 You have to fix this, or we are seriously fucked. 233 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:01,880 Of course. I will. 234 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,315 I'll think of something. I always do. 235 00:08:04,351 --> 00:08:07,718 Good. 236 00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:12,257 It was actually 967 men that I didn't sterilize, 237 00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:12,790 If that helps anything. 238 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,060 It really doesn't. 239 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,331 ♪ 240 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,267 Sloane: Alright, well, let's talk dates and details 241 00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:23,335 For "tasking." 242 00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:24,469 I think we should lean into maggie's history 243 00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:27,171 As a public speaker. 244 00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:30,008 Yeah, I'm thinking a university tour with some major cities. 245 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:33,044 [mouthing words] 246 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,345 Uh-huh. 247 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:35,680 [mouthing words] 248 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,682 Sloane: Uh-huh, uh-huh. 249 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,751 [in a whisper] den-- dentist? Dentures? 250 00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,119 Sloane: Okay, alright. 251 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,088 I'm gonna leave this with you, and let's just circle back 252 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,422 When you've ironed out the details. 253 00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,558 Okay, great. 254 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,560 Where is my danish? 255 00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:49,627 [laughs] oh! 256 00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,563 Honestly I had no idea what that was. 257 00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:53,632 I had a bad experience-- one time I thought I was 258 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,166 Playing charades, but someone was actually having 259 00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,834 A medical emergency-- sloane: Okay, honestly, 260 00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:58,803 I don't want to get into this with you today. 261 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,305 Forget the danish. What is in your hand? 262 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,406 Colin: Oh, uh, maggie just sent her new draft. 263 00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:03,541 Sloane: Great. 264 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,576 Also, your 10 am is here. 265 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,745 I don't have a 10 am. 266 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:09,914 Val: Goooood morning! 267 00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:10,882 Val! 268 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,250 This is not really a good time. 269 00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:14,653 It'll only take a sec. 270 00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:17,788 I just wanted to pop by and let you know that I signed you up 271 00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:18,456 On a dating app. Sloane: What?! 272 00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:19,524 I'm in a relationship. 273 00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:21,493 Simmer down. 274 00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:23,728 It's a friendship dating app for new moms. 275 00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:26,230 It's called "bundle." sloane: Mm. 276 00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,266 Somehow I'm even less into it. Val: Come on! 277 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,835 Don't you think you could use a little community right now? 278 00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:32,537 Isn't that the point of val's pals? 279 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,772 Did that really feel like community to you? 280 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:37,275 Talking with other high-powered women with newborns 281 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,476 Might really help. 282 00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,612 And look, if it doesn't, at least you'll have 283 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:42,880 A good story for the next val's pals. 284 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,415 And god knows we need it. 285 00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:46,618 I don't know. 286 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:47,886 Val: You don't have to do a thing. 287 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:48,686 I already set up a profile for you. 288 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,488 Sloane: You what? Val: Yup! 289 00:09:50,524 --> 00:09:52,624 And I included all the pertinent details. 290 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,626 "a take-no-prisoners publishing powerhouse 291 00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:57,261 "with a heart of gold." sloane: [laughs] 292 00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,364 You might have to do another pass on that one. 293 00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:00,599 You'll get an email notification if you're matched 294 00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,433 With any moms. 295 00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:06,571 Oh my god, what if you don't get matched with any moms? 296 00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:07,439 That would be really humiliating for you. 297 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,908 Val, I need you to leave now. 298 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,477 Say no more. I was getting that exact sense. 299 00:10:12,546 --> 00:10:14,679 And I have to pump anyways, so... 300 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:17,315 Toodles, bitch! 301 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,183 [chuckles] 302 00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:25,356 [notification on computer] 303 00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:32,363 ♪ 304 00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:36,668 ♪ 305 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,970 [under her breath] come on, think of something. 306 00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:41,139 Think of something. Think of something... 307 00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:44,542 [phone buzzes] 308 00:10:44,578 --> 00:10:47,812 Hey, can I call you back? I'm just in the middle of-- 309 00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:50,080 Nathan: [on phone] real quick, for the live show tonight, 310 00:10:50,082 --> 00:10:51,950 I thought we could order in. Sushi or perogies? 311 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,885 I know, opposite ends of the spectrum. 312 00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:56,287 I-I don't think I can make the live show. 313 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,621 Nathan: No! You can't miss the best lay! 314 00:10:57,658 --> 00:11:01,092 I mean, I know it's garbage, but that's what makes it so good! 315 00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:03,395 Kate: I'm just in the middle of this seedless shitshow, 316 00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,696 And honestly, I don't think I can dig myself out of it. 317 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:07,165 Nathan: Wait a minute. 318 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,967 I saw on twitter that there was this birth control scientist 319 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:09,701 Who was... 320 00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:11,502 Oh my god. 321 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,904 Oh my god, relax. Yes, it was her. 322 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,574 No, you're not in danger of being sterilized. 323 00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:17,875 We should be so fucking lucky. 324 00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:19,778 Well, I hope you can work it out, 325 00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:22,380 Because tonight the shit is gonna hit the fan. 326 00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,382 Either cole or chase are getting eliminated 327 00:11:24,384 --> 00:11:25,916 Because they're both hooking up with trina 328 00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:27,686 And neither one can be in the same room 329 00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,520 Without beating the living shit out of each other. 330 00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:31,456 I'm talking about tearing down the set! 331 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:32,490 Just taking down the walls! 332 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,459 Nathan, this sounds so stupid. 333 00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:35,860 I guess it's a guy thing. 334 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,795 It's a guy show. Never mind. 335 00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:41,866 ♪ 336 00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:45,269 How many viewers did you say it got? 337 00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:48,339 2.5 million viewers... 338 00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:49,673 That's a good following. 339 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,142 But could be better. 340 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,744 Okay... 341 00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,946 Hey, I didn't accept a last-minute meeting 342 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,148 On my busiest day just to be negged. 343 00:11:57,283 --> 00:12:01,085 You told my assistant the fate of my show is in your hands... 344 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:04,222 Uh, yes, I had to get your attention, didn't I? 345 00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:07,958 Look, it's no secret that your following is predominantly male. 346 00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:08,560 Your female viewership is dropping off 347 00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:11,028 In alarming numbers. 348 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:14,231 Are you putting on a dating show or a crypto convention? 349 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,234 [chuckles] 350 00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:19,737 What if I could change your bro-viewing into co-viewing? 351 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:20,672 I'm listening. 352 00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:22,073 Kate: I represent seedless, 353 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:22,706 The first male birth control pill. 354 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,576 Producer: Seedless? 355 00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:26,344 Didn't I read about you guys this morning? 356 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,046 One of your scientists sterilized a bunch of dudes. 357 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,449 You did. And that's unfortunate. 358 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:32,583 But really, it's just noise 359 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,919 Undercutting a revolutionary product. 360 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:36,220 Okay, um, great. 361 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,724 Listen, I have a live show to shoot, so if we could just, um-- 362 00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,926 The point is, seedless has nothing to do with 363 00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:43,795 What our scientist was working on 20 years ago. 364 00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:46,598 It's safe, it's game-changing, 365 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:48,232 And by aligning with our product, 366 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,869 You are speaking to women worldwide. 367 00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:53,671 This is an opportunity to double your viewership. 368 00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:57,908 Bring some feminism into the fuck hut. 369 00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,477 I don't hate this. 370 00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:04,082 ♪ 371 00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:07,685 [humming] 372 00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:09,687 [door opens] joseph: Oh, my god. 373 00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:11,222 Jacob: Dude, I'm serious. 374 00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:14,025 Who closes the bus door after the bus driver gets out? 375 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:18,762 Joseph: If you ask me that one more time, I swear, it's-- 376 00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,598 Don't freak out. 377 00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:21,733 I know what you're thinking. 378 00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:24,201 "why is my mother breastfeeding my daughter?" 379 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:26,303 But it doesn't need to be so taboo. 380 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,706 Clearly mother nature has given me this special gift 381 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:31,375 At the perfect moment, 382 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:35,012 When your sweet angel was in search of a breast. 383 00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:41,118 Aren't you gonna say anything? 384 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,387 Joseph: What the...?! Jacob: What the hell, mom? 385 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,222 Joseph: What? 386 00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:45,289 Jacob: That's fuckin' disgusting! 387 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,991 You're gonna scar her for life, mom! 388 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,793 What was I supposed to do? Jackie won't take the bottle! 389 00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:50,995 The answer isn't... 390 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:52,797 Shoving your boob in my baby's mouth! 391 00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:54,798 Yeah! Our baby's mouth. 392 00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,934 You didn't even ask! Val: I didn't have to. 393 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:57,801 She told me with her eyes! 394 00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:00,738 No, us, mom. You didn't ask us! 395 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,006 What the fuck is this? 396 00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:03,675 I got a few nursing bras on amazon. 397 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,743 They're more comfortable. 398 00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:06,678 Sue me. Joseph: Okay. 399 00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,679 Give her back. Val: Hey, no! 400 00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,315 Give her back! Unlatch! 401 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:11,515 No! 402 00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:12,650 Mom, I will take your nipple with her if I have to. 403 00:14:12,785 --> 00:14:16,420 Oh! 404 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,722 Wait... 405 00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,624 What are you gonna do? How are you gonna feed her? 406 00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:22,360 Joseph: We'll figure it out! Jacob: Great question! 407 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:25,496 Now what am I gonna do with all this milk? 408 00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:34,305 ♪ 409 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,041 ♪ 410 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,511 [elevator bell dings] 411 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:44,114 ♪ 412 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,050 ♪ 413 00:14:46,052 --> 00:14:48,452 [phone buzzes] 414 00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:56,728 [sighs] 415 00:14:56,730 --> 00:15:01,465 Stupid. 416 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:02,667 [exhales briskly] 417 00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:06,770 [phone buzzing] 418 00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:10,074 Hi, lionel. 419 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,910 Did you know that every member of drama club 420 00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:15,746 Has to perform a self-written monologue? 421 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,081 And...? 422 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,950 Lionel: Does that sound like our daughter? 423 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:21,919 Writing monologues? 424 00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,755 Uh, I hadn't really thought about it. 425 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,156 Yeah, because it doesn't! 426 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:26,891 You know what does sound like our daughter, hm? 427 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,093 Huffing whippets behind a dumpster with some guy 428 00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,228 That's got a lollipop tattoo on his face. 429 00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:33,164 Anne: Oddly specific. 430 00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,898 You know what, I just had a client cancel. 431 00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:36,100 Why don't I head to the school and see what's up? 432 00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:39,037 Oh, uh, great, 'cause I'm actually on a zoom meeting 433 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,705 That's on mute, so if you don't mind... 434 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,840 Man on zoom: Uh, lionel, you're not on mute. 435 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:46,377 Not if it gets me out of this conversation. 436 00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:49,680 ♪ 437 00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:53,384 Paul: Where's your mommy, huh? Where is she? 438 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:56,987 Oh, I see her. 439 00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:58,990 You have no idea how badly I need this. 440 00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:02,727 I had them warm it up for you too. 441 00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:03,928 Mm-hm? 442 00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,195 Fuck, that is good. 443 00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:05,863 Yeah, you don't need to tell me the benefits 444 00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,865 Of a post-lunch pastry. 445 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,666 Thank you for this. 446 00:16:09,703 --> 00:16:10,735 Thank you for bringing him. 447 00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:11,869 And now I have to go because I have a date. 448 00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:14,138 Uh... What? 449 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,174 With a woman. 450 00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:16,940 Still in the weeds on this one. 451 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,943 [chuckles] it's a mom date. 452 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:21,946 Val set me up on this app called bundle. 453 00:16:22,081 --> 00:16:23,614 Okay. Well, that's kinda cool. 454 00:16:23,750 --> 00:16:25,817 Sloane: How do I look? Paul: You look great. 455 00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,485 Thank you. 456 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:32,156 Now, I don't mean to be rude, but you really do have to go. 457 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,891 Good luck on your date! 458 00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:38,495 ♪ 459 00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:47,972 Oscar: Excuse me, hi. 460 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:51,409 Are you sloane? 461 00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:51,943 Maybe. 462 00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:54,111 And you would be? 463 00:16:54,246 --> 00:16:57,114 Sorry, uh, creepy stranger park vibes, I know. 464 00:16:57,183 --> 00:17:00,985 I'm oscar, alyssa's husband, the woman you met on bundle. 465 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,621 Oh. O-okay. 466 00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,123 Oscar: She's caught up in a meeting 467 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:08,459 And didn't want to leave you hanging, so she sent me. 468 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,228 Oh. 469 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,130 She could've just sent me a text, 470 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,264 But thank you for letting me know. 471 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:17,802 Uh, maybe just let her know we can reschedule. 472 00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:19,871 Yeah, yeah. I'll let her know. 473 00:17:20,006 --> 00:17:22,607 Do you need a hand with anything? 474 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:23,741 No, I'm good, I'm good. 475 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,076 Not that you don't look perfectly capable. 476 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:29,447 It just took me like 45 minutes just to get out of the car. 477 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,915 Does he really need all of these? 478 00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,050 I don't think he needs all of those! 479 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:36,320 I have a very picky baby! 480 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:37,955 Your guy doesn't need a different soother 481 00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,056 For every mood? 482 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,124 Well, babies are high-maintenance. 483 00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:42,560 But good thing they're so cute, right? 484 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:43,828 [chuckles] 485 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:46,030 Sometimes I just want to rip off his chubby little feet 486 00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:47,031 And eat 'em up. 487 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:50,902 Not literally, of course. 488 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:53,037 I actually want to rip off my baby's feet and eat them. 489 00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,106 Literally! Oscar: Oh, okay! [laughs] 490 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:58,309 Uh, that makes me feel a lot better! 491 00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,244 I'm not the only baby-eating monster in the park. 492 00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:03,213 [laughs] uh, no, definitely not. 493 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,116 Student: I really wish we'd played catch together, dad. 494 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:07,718 But now... 495 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:10,454 We never will. 496 00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:14,125 [applause] 497 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:16,793 Anne: [quietly] oh! 498 00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:21,766 Hello? 499 00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:24,201 Hello! 500 00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:26,804 I'm here, aren't I? 501 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,940 No? I'm not? 502 00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:33,177 Everybody's watching me on their phones. 503 00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:36,313 But nobody wants to look into my eyes. 504 00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:38,015 Anne: Oh, no. Alice: They're blue, by the way. 505 00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:41,619 What colour are your eyes? 506 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,086 Or yours? 507 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,755 Or... 508 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:48,259 Even yours, blind man? 509 00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:51,828 All of our eyes are open, 510 00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:55,666 But does anybody really see? 511 00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:59,704 Hello?! 512 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:03,107 [applause] 513 00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:07,445 ♪ 514 00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:10,381 Okay, well, there's good news and bad news. 515 00:19:10,383 --> 00:19:12,849 Good news, she is in drama club. 516 00:19:12,886 --> 00:19:16,853 The bad news is that, she does not have a future in it. 517 00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:19,457 Like, we need to actively steer her in a whole other direction 518 00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:23,794 Or this is gonna be a real problem for... 519 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:24,996 Oh my god. 520 00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:27,999 ♪ 521 00:19:28,134 --> 00:19:31,201 Seamus: You were incredible. 522 00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:34,472 Oh my god. 523 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:38,009 ♪ 524 00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:41,846 ♪ 525 00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:45,716 Seamus: Her hair just smells so fuckin' good. 526 00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:49,019 And her lips... 527 00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:51,689 God, her lips make me crazy. 528 00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:52,156 ♪ 529 00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:55,559 Oh, no. 530 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:58,029 Oh... 531 00:19:58,164 --> 00:19:59,030 I could tell she was giving me the eyes 532 00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:01,232 From across the room. 533 00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,701 That's why before I walked over, I popped in a seedless. 534 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,470 Male birth control, it's a revelation, yo! 535 00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,239 Holy shit. 536 00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:10,174 That's my show! You did that to my show! 537 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,642 Kate: I did that to your show. 538 00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,411 Guy: [on tv] these girls all hate condoms. 539 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,379 Trina, dina, lina... 540 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:18,115 So the guys and I decided to take matters into our own hands. 541 00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,383 Seedless is about equality. 542 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:21,385 I'm sorry, is that empowering for men? 543 00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:22,119 I think I just empowered men. 544 00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:23,254 I think you did. 545 00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:25,522 I think you empowered men. 546 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,892 Guy: [on tv] apparently a lady scientist created seedless, 547 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,060 But don't let that stop you from trying it. 548 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:31,195 This stuff's legit! 549 00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:33,397 They can't all be wins, but... That's a win. 550 00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:34,865 I'll take that. Nathan: [laughs] 551 00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,000 Jesus christ. 552 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:37,200 I cannot believe this idea worked. 553 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,937 Like, what the fuck? 554 00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:43,407 Your dumbass obsession with this show may have saved seedless. 555 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:46,076 You're welcome. 556 00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:50,681 Kate: You know, I know I'm no lina, dina, or trina, but um... 557 00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:52,816 What if I'm "the best lay"? 558 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,885 There's only one way to find out. 559 00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:59,690 Oh, boy. 560 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,093 Sure, it sucks being voted off this week. 561 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,961 But you know what doesn't suck? 562 00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:05,496 Male birth control. 563 00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:07,832 Kate: Mm! [giggles] 564 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:43,100 ♪