1
00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:02,000
[Adam] Hey, girls, come here.
2
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,100
[Danielle]
Previously on OutDaughtered.
3
00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:04,266
Who wants to come on
a little trip?
4
00:00:04,266 --> 00:00:05,700
[girls] Me.
5
00:00:05,700 --> 00:00:07,934
Daddy convinced me
to let y'all go.
6
00:00:08,066 --> 00:00:09,033
To...
7
00:00:09,767 --> 00:00:11,600
[girls altogether] Yeah!
8
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,700
It's the biggest like,
video creator summit,
probably in the world.
9
00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:17,266
Hey, guys.
We're doing interviews.
10
00:00:17,266 --> 00:00:18,333
We are.
11
00:00:23,967 --> 00:00:26,367
I started as a mom
doing hairstyles
12
00:00:26,367 --> 00:00:28,400
on my bathroom counter
on my kids.
13
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:29,300
There's Mindy right here.
14
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:30,567
-Hi.
-Hey.
15
00:00:30,567 --> 00:00:33,567
Mindy McKnight has
a bunch of kids,
owns her businesses,
16
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:38,200
has a channel. I'm like,
that's exactly what I've been
trying to figure out.
17
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:39,867
I totally get the multiples.
18
00:00:39,867 --> 00:00:41,033
-Yeah
-It's hard.
19
00:00:43,066 --> 00:00:43,900
Okay.
20
00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:45,867
I feel like we do, we do,
we do, we do.
21
00:00:45,867 --> 00:00:49,667
But it's like sometimes
I just want to be
just me and you.
22
00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:53,233
How do we deepen our marriage
after 18 years?
23
00:00:55,166 --> 00:00:56,467
How are you handling all this?
24
00:00:56,467 --> 00:00:57,467
Doing more stuff.
25
00:00:57,467 --> 00:00:58,867
How's your sanity?
26
00:00:58,867 --> 00:01:01,367
Is it ever well?
I don't know.
27
00:01:01,367 --> 00:01:03,100
[Priscilla]
Danielle doesn't like
to ask for help.
28
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,767
So as a friend,
I'm just concerned
29
00:01:04,767 --> 00:01:06,767
because I see
that she's overwhelmed.
30
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,000
Have you thought
about seeing someone?
31
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,000
You know, a therapist?
32
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,367
I don't have time
for that right now.
33
00:01:10,367 --> 00:01:13,467
I feel like I have to
stay busy or, like
I might cry.
34
00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:16,634
You getting up?
35
00:01:18,967 --> 00:01:20,400
For her to have a bad day.
36
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,667
[Adam] Like, I have
to be prepared all the time.
37
00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:25,500
Girls, you're gonna need
to start getting ready
for school.
38
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:28,767
It's hard because
you just never know
when it's going to hit.
39
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,433
[funky beach music playing]
40
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,233
Ava, you're gonna have
to pick that up.
41
00:01:47,467 --> 00:01:50,767
Whoever makes
the biggest mess is...
42
00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:53,567
-Parker.
-No.
43
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,233
No, I'm not.
44
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:08,767
[gasps] You would sleep
for the whole day
and not play.
45
00:02:08,767 --> 00:02:10,800
Don't do any fun thing.
Just go,
46
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,000
"Nope, too tired.
I'm going to sleep."
47
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,233
Mm-hmm.
48
00:02:18,667 --> 00:02:20,300
You look like
you're feeling better.
49
00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:22,867
[scoffs] Is that because
I'm putting makeup on?
50
00:02:22,867 --> 00:02:25,900
No, you're just up
and out of bed
and, like, alert.
51
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:27,867
Yeah.
52
00:02:27,867 --> 00:02:30,000
[Adam] Danielle is like
way stronger than me,
53
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:34,600
as far as like being able to
just to deal with like pain.
54
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,467
And so, when it comes to like
her autoimmune stuff,
55
00:02:37,467 --> 00:02:41,000
you know, she could be
feeling horrible and not being
able to get out of bed.
56
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,367
And the very next day
it's like, she just looks like
she's fine.
57
00:02:44,367 --> 00:02:46,667
But you never really know.
58
00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:49,300
What are the kids doing?
59
00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:51,100
The girls are wanting
to decorate for Halloween.
60
00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:52,467
They've been bugging me.
61
00:02:52,467 --> 00:02:55,200
Yeah, I mean,
I like to get out and
62
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,667
you know, we'll do something
with you all make a day of it,
I guess.
63
00:02:57,667 --> 00:03:00,767
[Danielle]
I get these flare ups
and it might be harder
64
00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:03,667
to deal with it emotionally
than it is to deal
with the physical pain
65
00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:07,567
because I'm not this person
and I don't want this
to happen to me
66
00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:12,900
and I get down on myself,
which then probably
doesn't make it better.
67
00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:14,767
But I want to be there
for the family.
68
00:03:14,767 --> 00:03:17,433
You know, I'd wanna, like,
show up for all of us.
69
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,100
[clears throat]
70
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:33,500
Were you able to find somebody
so that we can actually
do this retreat?
71
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,767
I mean, Deb said that
she could stay with the girls
72
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:37,567
so we could go.
73
00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:42,467
In a few days, Danielle
and I are gonna be going on
a couples retreat.
74
00:03:42,467 --> 00:03:44,367
With a few of
our couple friends.
75
00:03:44,367 --> 00:03:46,900
[Adam] You know,
we're going to be
meeting with a life coach
76
00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:49,100
just to help us
with communication.
77
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:52,800
But I don't want her
to push herself too far
78
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:56,233
because deep down inside,
I know she's probably
struggling.
79
00:03:58,066 --> 00:04:01,767
Well, okay, then I'll go
get them rounded up.
80
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:11,467
Happy Halloween!
81
00:04:11,467 --> 00:04:13,200
[Riley]
What does RIP stand for?
82
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,467
[Blayke] Rest in peace.
83
00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:16,567
I don't get it.
84
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:18,767
Do you want to wear a tutu?
85
00:04:18,767 --> 00:04:20,533
Daddy, how does this go?
86
00:04:21,367 --> 00:04:24,767
The knee bone's connected
to the leg bone.
87
00:04:24,767 --> 00:04:27,667
[Hazel giggles]
Let's see.
88
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:31,734
It was fun decorating
our house for Halloween,
but it was kind of exhausting.
89
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,333
Let's see.
Where would you put this?
90
00:04:47,867 --> 00:04:50,166
I can't believe you fit
in that costume.
91
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,066
You know, I wore that.
92
00:04:52,066 --> 00:04:54,533
You know, that's like
seven years old.
93
00:04:54,767 --> 00:04:56,367
[kids crying]
94
00:04:56,367 --> 00:04:58,800
You like a banana ...
95
00:04:58,800 --> 00:04:59,767
[Adam roaring]
96
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,667
[Adam] Parker was a lion.
97
00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:03,166
Hazel was a turtle.
98
00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:05,166
Ava was an elephant.
99
00:05:05,166 --> 00:05:07,066
Mama was a banana.
100
00:05:07,066 --> 00:05:09,900
[Hazel] Daddy...
[screaming]
101
00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:11,100
[pretends to be scared]
102
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:12,333
[Hazel giggles]
103
00:05:13,467 --> 00:05:16,867
I mean, I think I can say
the buzz bees love Halloween.
104
00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:18,834
It's probably
just dad and kids.
105
00:05:20,467 --> 00:05:23,200
[Adam] Danielle is not
as much of a fan.
106
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,567
[Danielle] Oh no, no, no, no.
107
00:05:25,567 --> 00:05:27,467
Look what you're doing to her.
108
00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:29,100
[Danielle screaming]
109
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:31,100
Oh my gosh.
110
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:33,100
[muffled speaking] Ouch,
don't poke me in the eye.
111
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:37,266
I'm the best at scaring people
because there would be a wall.
112
00:05:37,266 --> 00:05:39,567
So I'd hide behind the wall,
113
00:05:39,567 --> 00:05:43,600
and then when they're
right here, I go 'ahh'
and I jump.
114
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,367
[Adam] Every year,
the girls get more
and more into Halloween.
115
00:05:47,867 --> 00:05:49,266
Riley.
116
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:53,100
Lately, they've been asking
for me to take them
to a real haunted house.
117
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:54,834
And so, I'm gonna do it
tomorrow.
118
00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:56,367
Is this how it goes?
119
00:05:57,367 --> 00:05:59,200
[Adam] All right.
Let's get on this.
120
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,467
I think Mommy's on the phone.
121
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:03,567
Hi.
122
00:06:03,567 --> 00:06:04,634
[Mandi onscreen] Hi.
123
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:06,867
Look how sweet.
124
00:06:09,567 --> 00:06:11,700
Same, yeah.
It's great to meet you
125
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:14,000
and see Baby Cole here.
It's so sweet.
126
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,066
After meeting that mom
of six at VidSummit,
127
00:06:16,066 --> 00:06:19,567
I really wanted to like,
reach out to other moms
of multiples.
128
00:06:19,567 --> 00:06:24,266
So, I met Mandi
through an online moms group,
and she's got five kids.
129
00:06:24,266 --> 00:06:26,300
She's got twins and triplets.
130
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,767
And so we thought
it might be fun
to just connect.
131
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,066
Of course.
132
00:06:37,867 --> 00:06:39,367
And it's true.
133
00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:43,567
I can't really relate to
my best friends because,
I mean, honestly, I don't have
134
00:06:43,567 --> 00:06:46,667
any friend who has multiples.
Like, I just can't find
someone
135
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:49,066
to like relate my stories to.
136
00:06:56,900 --> 00:07:00,100
Yeah, I mean, it'll never
not be challenging.
137
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:01,266
It'll just change.
138
00:07:01,266 --> 00:07:07,166
So, like now,
we've got six kids
who all have different...
139
00:07:07,166 --> 00:07:09,667
Different interests,
different activities.
140
00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:13,800
So it's hard to juggle that.
Communication between you
and your spouse is key,
141
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,467
and me and my husband's brains
work completely different.
142
00:07:16,467 --> 00:07:18,800
He could care less
about a list, he says
143
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,400
he keeps it all in his head,
and he'll say,
144
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:24,533
I'm more of a control freak,
but I know what I need
to get done.
145
00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:31,867
No. But you know what?
146
00:07:31,867 --> 00:07:35,667
I should start doing
a weekly meeting with Adam
to talk about stuff.
147
00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:36,800
But also,
148
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,266
it's funny you say that
because...
149
00:07:38,266 --> 00:07:40,300
I mean, I would love
to start some type of like...
150
00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:41,667
multiples moms group.
151
00:07:41,667 --> 00:07:44,467
We can even bring the dads,
and the dads will watch
the kids,
152
00:07:44,467 --> 00:07:46,634
and the moms will sit back
and we'll chat.
153
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:53,467
I mean, it's nice to,
you know, talk with Mandi
154
00:07:53,467 --> 00:07:55,367
and just be able to relate.
155
00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:59,367
All right, bye.
156
00:07:59,367 --> 00:08:01,100
[Danielle] She only lives
a few hours away.
157
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:04,934
So I think we're gonna try
to find some time to meet up
before the holidays.
158
00:08:06,867 --> 00:08:07,867
[Hazel] Hey, Mama.
159
00:08:07,867 --> 00:08:10,767
-[other girls] Mama.
-What on earth do you have on?
160
00:08:10,767 --> 00:08:11,967
They found their costumes.
161
00:08:11,967 --> 00:08:14,066
That's from, like when
you were one years old.
162
00:08:14,066 --> 00:08:16,567
This used to be too big
for me.
163
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:18,066
[Danielle]
It was too big for you.
164
00:08:18,066 --> 00:08:20,266
-[Hazel] But now it fits.
-[Danielle] Yeah.
165
00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:23,567
[Danielle] So I was on a call
with this mom,
166
00:08:23,567 --> 00:08:27,567
and she's a type A person
like me and like has
her stuff together.
167
00:08:27,567 --> 00:08:29,000
Or so we feel like we do.
168
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,767
Anyway, I was chatting
with her and just thinking
about, like,
169
00:08:32,767 --> 00:08:34,700
trying to just get, like,
170
00:08:34,700 --> 00:08:40,166
multiple moms together to just
kind of like share knowledge
and whatnot,
171
00:08:40,166 --> 00:08:43,867
and they need support
in such a unique way, like,
172
00:08:43,867 --> 00:08:47,433
women that I feel like I could
you know...
173
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,300
Help, in a way, I guess.
174
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:54,367
[Adam] I don't know why,
but like when things are
already difficult.
175
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:58,467
Danielle just finds a way
just to keep adding
more things to her plate.
176
00:08:58,467 --> 00:09:01,667
I think a multiple
support group is a great idea.
177
00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:04,467
Danielle would be
awesome at that.
178
00:09:04,467 --> 00:09:08,100
But I mean,
just the other day, she could
hardly get out of bed.
179
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:10,000
Honestly, right now,
she's at a point
180
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,967
where she just really needs
to focus on herself.
181
00:09:12,967 --> 00:09:16,800
I just really feel like
a calling of, like, how can
I outreach other women
182
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:20,500
who are going through
something that
I've experienced?
183
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,600
I still feel like
there's a whole avenue of you
184
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,567
maybe even meeting
their husbands.
185
00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:27,467
-And like, they're dads...
-Let's not go that far.
186
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,800
[Danielle] This is something
that I really want to do.
187
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,467
Like, I think that this is
what I've been looking for,
188
00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:37,300
is like some way to resource
other moms and
have a support group
189
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:39,200
for multiple moms,
I think would be great.
190
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,300
I just want him
to get on board.
191
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:43,767
Anyway, I just was excited,
and it was nice to meet her.
192
00:09:43,767 --> 00:09:46,300
And as much as I feel like
I fail at times,
193
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:49,333
I still feel like this is what
I've been called to do,
you know.
194
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,467
[Danielle] Riley,
you look so funny.
195
00:09:57,467 --> 00:10:00,834
Tonight, I'm taking the girls
to a real haunted house.
196
00:10:09,300 --> 00:10:14,600
We've got this retreat
coming up, so we'll see
how that goes.
197
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:18,667
[Danielle] We've been married
almost 20 years, and so
I'm actually not even sure
198
00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:20,667
what emotions might come
from it.
199
00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:23,767
Does anybody know
of the marriages that fail,
200
00:10:23,767 --> 00:10:26,667
what percent fail because
of communication issues?
201
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,233
-A lot.
-98%.
202
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,133
[spooky music playing]
203
00:10:44,166 --> 00:10:45,800
[Danielle]
Y'all stand right here.
204
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:46,934
Come here, Ri. Right here.
205
00:10:48,567 --> 00:10:50,300
Okay. Come on
this side of the dinosaur.
206
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:51,767
Hazel, go by Parker.
207
00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:53,467
[Adam] Cheeseburgers.
208
00:10:53,467 --> 00:10:55,700
Tomorrow, Danielle and I
are taking off to
209
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:57,867
a couples retreat
for the weekend.
210
00:10:57,867 --> 00:11:01,567
But tonight, I'm taking
the girls to
a real haunted house.
211
00:11:01,567 --> 00:11:05,266
They're kind of at that
mature age where, like,
I think they can handle it.
212
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:10,367
[kids laughing]
213
00:11:10,367 --> 00:11:12,667
[Danielle]
Riley, you look so funny.
214
00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:17,934
When I went to
the haunted house, I was
a ginormous purple dinosaur.
215
00:11:18,467 --> 00:11:22,133
My costume was...
216
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:27,600
[Hazel]
My costume was a witch.
217
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,700
[Parker]
My costume was a tiger.
218
00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:31,066
[Olivia] My costume was...
219
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,934
[Hazel] Oh and our costume
was really itchy.
220
00:11:37,266 --> 00:11:40,367
[Danielle] All right,
this is y'all's
first real haunted house.
221
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:44,000
Seriously, I can't stand that
you want to put the kids
through this.
222
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,300
I think it's great
that the girls are asking
about this.
223
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:51,800
I mean, not long ago, I mean,
we couldn't even walk past
the outside of this place.
224
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:52,800
[Adam] See the zombie?
225
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,567
[Danielle] Oh my gosh.
Okay, let's go.
226
00:11:55,567 --> 00:11:56,700
Come on, let's go.
227
00:11:56,700 --> 00:11:57,734
[girls whimpering]
228
00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,500
I'm done. Done.
229
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:01,667
All I know is this better
not be a disaster
230
00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:06,166
with five crying little girls
and one dad laughing
the whole time.
231
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:14,367
[Adam] Do you want to take
that off to be able to see?
232
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,834
[Riley] I can't see.
233
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:19,533
[Danielle and Adam laughing]
234
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:21,667
[Riley] Oh my gosh!
235
00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:25,467
[Danielle] All right, I'm out.
I don't...
236
00:12:25,467 --> 00:12:26,900
This is not a good idea.
237
00:12:28,367 --> 00:12:33,066
I, 100% will not be forcing
the kids to go through
the haunted house.
238
00:12:33,066 --> 00:12:36,567
So Riley, Hazel and Blayke
are going in the haunted house
with Adam.
239
00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:40,367
And Parker, Ava,
Olivia are gonna hang out
with me and Kiki
240
00:12:40,367 --> 00:12:42,100
and go play some games.
241
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:43,900
Y'all go do the beanbag toss.
242
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:45,266
Can I do that game?
243
00:12:45,266 --> 00:12:47,867
Parker's too worried that
somebody's gonna jump out.
244
00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:49,200
-No.
-[Danielle laughs]
245
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,300
Be careful out there.
246
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:54,200
So how's it been
finding a helper?
Have you had any luck?
247
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:57,000
I mean, we've done a couple
of interviews and stuff
prior to...
248
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,000
It's probably tough.
249
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,233
Yeah, I think six kids
scare people away.
[laughs]
250
00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:07,734
[Adam] She has the guts out.
251
00:13:22,266 --> 00:13:23,266
There you go.
252
00:13:25,767 --> 00:13:28,500
Ahh! So close.
253
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:31,567
[Danielle] So we've got
this retreat coming up.
A weekend retreat.
254
00:13:31,567 --> 00:13:35,567
So, we'll see how that goes.
Don't know what to expect
out of that.
255
00:13:35,567 --> 00:13:38,166
I hate that it didn't work out
that we couldn't make,
you know?
256
00:13:38,166 --> 00:13:39,667
I'm sure they'll make it fun
for y'all.
257
00:13:39,667 --> 00:13:43,900
Yeah, and I mean, we like
to do activities and hang out
and, like, hopefully,
258
00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:47,000
it has some type of, like,
you don't just sit there
259
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,400
and, like, get talked to
the whole time, you know.
260
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,567
I think this couples retreat
is something that Adam and I
could really use.
261
00:13:52,567 --> 00:13:54,467
I mean, we've been married
almost 20 years,
262
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,467
and like there are
a lot of stresses
263
00:13:56,467 --> 00:14:00,667
that change over 20 years,
and so I'm actually not
even quite sure
264
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:04,734
what emotions or things
might come from it,
I don't know.
265
00:14:16,867 --> 00:14:18,233
Oh, God.
266
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,600
In the haunted house,
I'll tell you all the people
that went in.
267
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:28,767
It was Hazel, Uncle Dale,
Bronson, my dad, that came in.
268
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:31,767
But they're not scared
because they know it's fake.
269
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,767
-Ew, ew.
-No.
270
00:14:34,266 --> 00:14:36,066
Do you want to see?
271
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,333
I do too.
272
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:46,767
[voice in the background]
Whoa!
273
00:14:46,767 --> 00:14:49,900
[Riley] And then, when I saw
the spinny part, it was fun.
274
00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:53,266
but it looked like
you were going upside down
and it hurt my eyes.
275
00:14:53,266 --> 00:14:54,734
I felt like I was going
to throw up.
276
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:04,266
Is that it?
277
00:15:04,266 --> 00:15:05,600
[Adam] Oh, we're back outside.
278
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,133
Aww. Oh my goodness.
279
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:10,367
All right, let's go find
where Mommy went.
280
00:15:10,867 --> 00:15:12,000
What do you think, Ri?
281
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,600
I was scared but I liked it.
282
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,000
[Adam] Of course.
283
00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:19,767
I'm surprised that
some of them actually
enjoyed the haunted house.
284
00:15:19,767 --> 00:15:21,100
And this wasn't just
a haunted house.
285
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:23,266
This was a haunted house.
286
00:15:25,066 --> 00:15:26,533
That girl was squeezing me,
dude.
287
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,600
Yeah, that was
the eight-year-old version.
288
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:32,667
How was it?
289
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:34,233
You didn't like it?
290
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,567
[guitar music playing]
291
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,166
-Do you have your pillow?
-[Danielle] No.
292
00:15:45,467 --> 00:15:46,367
[Deb] Hazel.
293
00:15:46,367 --> 00:15:47,333
You take your pillow
everywhere.
294
00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:50,100
You're gonna help me
while Mom and Dad are gone?
295
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,333
You're gonna be good for Deb?
296
00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:53,867
Galveston.
297
00:15:53,867 --> 00:15:55,967
[Deb] What time
do they go to bed?
298
00:15:55,967 --> 00:15:59,767
7.30, prepped in,
getting in bed and 8 o'clock
it's lights out.
299
00:15:59,767 --> 00:16:05,967
We don't want to continue to,
you know, ask family members
and friends
300
00:16:05,967 --> 00:16:08,567
to come watch the girls,
but the nanny interviews
301
00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:10,600
haven't been going
as well as we had hoped.
302
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:15,767
So we asked our friend Deb,
she said yes, and so
we're going to roll with it.
303
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,667
There's some wine in there.
Help yourself.
304
00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:19,867
-About 9:30.
-[Danielle laughs]
305
00:16:19,867 --> 00:16:21,133
Once they all go to sleep.
306
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,900
-[Danielle] Knock, knock.
-What up?
307
00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:32,266
-Hey.
-Right on time.
308
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,233
I'm Kris.
309
00:16:35,066 --> 00:16:36,367
I'm a hugger.
310
00:16:36,367 --> 00:16:38,200
Oh, I'm not. So, hi.
311
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,767
[inaudible]
312
00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:40,867
-It's okay.
-All right.
313
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:41,900
How are you?
314
00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:48,066
This will be a fun weekend,
you know, with friends.
315
00:16:48,066 --> 00:16:50,066
But also we'll have wine.
316
00:16:50,066 --> 00:16:52,567
So I'm already there.
317
00:16:55,266 --> 00:16:59,367
So, first and foremost,
now that you're here,
what would you want from this?
318
00:16:59,367 --> 00:17:02,300
Like, what would be a goal
at the end of this?
319
00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:05,467
I'll start, you know, like
we do all these things
to improve ourselves.
320
00:17:05,467 --> 00:17:07,000
And this is just
one more thing to like,
321
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,467
help improve like, you know,
our communication
322
00:17:09,467 --> 00:17:13,567
and better understanding
each other, just so
we do have direction.
323
00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:19,266
It's super beneficial for
our relationship just to focus
on communication and us.
324
00:17:19,266 --> 00:17:21,333
So how long has everyone
been married in the room?
325
00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:23,066
Seventeen years.
326
00:17:23,066 --> 00:17:24,333
-Okay.
-20.
327
00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,367
10.
328
00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:27,500
19.
329
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:30,233
19. Okay, all right,
the newlyweds.
330
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:31,700
Exactly.
331
00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:33,667
The interesting thing
is, guys, everyone's over 10.
332
00:17:33,667 --> 00:17:35,100
10 is a tough year
to get through, right?
333
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:37,300
There's a lot of bumps
and hurdles that happened
around that time,
334
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:39,100
and then you,
"Oh, we made it through,"
right?
335
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:43,467
And so making it to
the other side doesn't
necessarily make it easier.
336
00:17:43,467 --> 00:17:46,000
The other thing also,
your kids are going
to grow up.
337
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,033
But if you look at each other,
this is what you have
after they grow up.
338
00:17:51,867 --> 00:17:54,667
[Adam] We've seen it happen
to so many
other relationships.
339
00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:58,867
They, you know, they focus
so much on their kids,
340
00:17:58,867 --> 00:18:00,800
and then by the time
their kids leave the house,
341
00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:03,900
it's like, they don't know
who each other are anymore.
342
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:07,100
Does anybody know
of the marriages that fail?
343
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:11,266
What percent of marriages
fail because of
communication issues?
344
00:18:11,266 --> 00:18:12,967
-A lot.
-50%.
345
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,867
-I would say higher.
-70%.
346
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,133
98%.
347
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:18,667
Because of communication.
348
00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:21,000
All right, so we're gonna
spend a lot of time on that.
349
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,300
I didn't think this would
get so serious so quick.
350
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:26,266
I mean that stat
was pretty alarming.
351
00:18:26,266 --> 00:18:28,467
And so this might be
harder than we thought.
352
00:18:28,467 --> 00:18:29,467
Everybody up for it?
353
00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:39,233
[quirky music playing]
354
00:18:42,867 --> 00:18:46,000
Okay, so we're not gonna
snack anymore right now.
355
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,266
Do you know how
we've been talking about
Mama wanting to hire somebody
356
00:18:49,266 --> 00:18:52,667
to kind of help
around the house
and do cleaning and all that?
357
00:18:52,667 --> 00:18:53,734
She doesn't have anybody.
358
00:18:53,734 --> 00:18:55,900
So I thought, well,
we will help her out
a little bit
359
00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,600
and surprise her
when she gets home.
360
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,867
Today, I came over
to help watch all of the girls
361
00:19:00,867 --> 00:19:03,867
while Danielle and Adam
go on a little trip
to Galveston,
362
00:19:03,867 --> 00:19:07,000
So we'll do a little work
and then have a little party.
363
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,300
Anybody in for the party part?
364
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:09,400
-I am.
-You are?
365
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,467
-I am.
-Okay.
366
00:19:12,767 --> 00:19:14,800
So can you get the stuff
to wipe the table?
367
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,233
And you can start sweeping.
368
00:19:19,266 --> 00:19:21,867
[Riley] But then we get these
ice cream parties.
369
00:19:21,867 --> 00:19:24,634
And they would be delicious.
370
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:28,934
Yes.
371
00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:35,166
[Deb]
That looks like a big fork.
372
00:19:38,367 --> 00:19:41,567
-Parker, Parker, Parker.
-Ew.
373
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,967
Who to know how
to use the dryer.
374
00:19:44,967 --> 00:19:46,734
-Wait, me.
-[Deb] Well, come on.
375
00:19:48,066 --> 00:19:52,367
The type of thing that
I would help my mom and dad
do around the house.
376
00:19:52,367 --> 00:19:55,734
I'd probably pick up my bed
and clean my room,
not my closet.
377
00:19:59,667 --> 00:20:02,433
[Deb] Good job. Look at that.
That's bigger than you.
378
00:20:03,367 --> 00:20:06,433
I can't wait to tell your mom
how good y'all were.
379
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,233
[Deb] And you just didn't fuss
about it.
380
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,433
[violin music playing]
381
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:23,166
Put your blindfolds on.
382
00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:26,667
Your partner is gonna verbally
walk you through
an obstacle course.
383
00:20:26,667 --> 00:20:28,033
Oh, Lord.
384
00:20:28,033 --> 00:20:30,166
And you've got to listen,
and you've got to trust them
and move around.
385
00:20:30,166 --> 00:20:34,667
The best prescription
for a couple is slowing down
and talking.
386
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,300
All right, so get close
to your partner.
387
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:38,867
Slowing down is saying,
"I need to trust."
388
00:20:38,867 --> 00:20:41,100
So my goal is to get all
of the couples
389
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:42,967
to listen to each other.
390
00:20:42,967 --> 00:20:44,967
I'm in front of you.
Put your hands down.
391
00:20:44,967 --> 00:20:47,066
-[Kris] All right, yeah.
-[Adam]
Whenever I'm blindfolded,
392
00:20:47,066 --> 00:20:49,367
I can't be responsible
for where my hands go.
393
00:20:49,367 --> 00:20:53,567
Blindfolded or not,
you're always just focused
on one thing, anyway.
394
00:20:53,567 --> 00:20:55,000
Well, two things.
395
00:20:55,000 --> 00:21:00,567
-Okay. Straight, straight,
straight, left.
-[indistinct chatter]
396
00:21:00,567 --> 00:21:03,667
Now slide to the right.
397
00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:06,967
Slide, slide, slide.
398
00:21:06,967 --> 00:21:09,500
-[Danielle] Right shoulder,
a little bit forward.
-[Adam] All right.
399
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,066
[Danielle]
Okay, forward. [claps]
400
00:21:11,066 --> 00:21:12,467
Squat.
401
00:21:12,467 --> 00:21:14,367
-Squat?
-[both chuckle]
402
00:21:14,367 --> 00:21:16,166
[Adam]
I was pretty comfortable
with Danielle,
403
00:21:16,166 --> 00:21:20,266
telling me where to go,
like, I fully trust her
in that moment.
404
00:21:20,266 --> 00:21:23,567
I think you trust that
she's going to lead you
very well.
405
00:21:23,567 --> 00:21:25,500
And sometimes
you lean into that, right?
406
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:27,166
So we would have
switched roles...?
407
00:21:27,166 --> 00:21:28,367
I would have been all over
the place.
408
00:21:28,367 --> 00:21:29,567
[Kris] You would have
probably felt
409
00:21:29,567 --> 00:21:31,200
-very, a different way.
-[people chuckling]
410
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,166
I trust Adam.
411
00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:35,667
I just don't know if I can
let go of my control,
412
00:21:35,667 --> 00:21:37,767
and so it's more difficult
for me.
413
00:21:37,767 --> 00:21:38,967
[Kris] The problem is, guys,
414
00:21:38,967 --> 00:21:41,867
when you get so comfortable
in a marriage
and in situations,
415
00:21:41,867 --> 00:21:43,567
one person starts
taking on a role
416
00:21:43,567 --> 00:21:45,667
and the other person
starts backing off of it,
417
00:21:45,667 --> 00:21:48,100
and there's no reason
for the person
to like, step in.
418
00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:49,300
You start picking up
those roles
419
00:21:49,300 --> 00:21:51,000
and you don't learn
how to reverse them,
420
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,667
it just comes second--
second nature.
421
00:21:52,667 --> 00:21:53,900
And then we get exhausted.
422
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:55,266
[Kris] And you get exhausted.
423
00:21:55,266 --> 00:21:58,667
[Danielle]
I learned that you have to
424
00:21:58,667 --> 00:22:01,367
focus on your thought
of what you're going to say
425
00:22:01,367 --> 00:22:04,100
so that it's clear
for direction.
426
00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:05,867
And because
he can tune me right out,
427
00:22:05,867 --> 00:22:08,300
it was great for him
to just like, listen,
428
00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:10,567
listen, listen.
429
00:22:10,567 --> 00:22:13,767
The idea is
don't keep doing it
the same way.
430
00:22:13,767 --> 00:22:16,500
Next time you have an option
to change it,
431
00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:18,066
get uncomfortable
and change it.
432
00:22:21,166 --> 00:22:22,867
It's all humid out here.
433
00:22:22,867 --> 00:22:25,166
-I got marshmallow
on your phone.
-Great.
434
00:22:25,166 --> 00:22:28,767
[Kris] Okay, quick question.
Who actually has done
love languages before?
435
00:22:29,867 --> 00:22:32,700
Do you actually know
what the five love languages
are?
436
00:22:32,700 --> 00:22:34,567
Words, affirmation,
physical touch,
437
00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:36,934
uh, acts of services...
438
00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:38,600
-Gifts.
-...gifts.
439
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,066
-[Kris] Gifts.
-And quality time.
440
00:22:41,066 --> 00:22:42,166
[Kris] Wow, I love this.
441
00:22:42,166 --> 00:22:44,367
So those are the five,
and we all know them.
442
00:22:44,367 --> 00:22:45,767
Tell each other
what your love languages are.
443
00:22:45,767 --> 00:22:48,066
Because it's also about
friendships
and everything else.
444
00:22:48,066 --> 00:22:51,567
It used to be acts of service,
but now it's gifts.
445
00:22:51,567 --> 00:22:53,266
-[man] When did it change?
-Uh...
446
00:22:53,266 --> 00:22:55,100
Probably when the boys
were younger.
447
00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:58,767
[Danielle] Mine's acts
of service because ever since
I've been a child,
448
00:22:58,767 --> 00:23:01,300
I've had to do so much
for myself,
449
00:23:01,300 --> 00:23:03,467
that for someone
to take the load off of me
450
00:23:03,467 --> 00:23:06,867
is a huge weight of like love.
451
00:23:06,867 --> 00:23:08,767
Doing things
without me asking,
452
00:23:08,767 --> 00:23:10,767
that is something that
I normally do.
453
00:23:10,767 --> 00:23:14,767
For instance, like you're just
automatically going to start
washing laundry,
454
00:23:14,767 --> 00:23:17,367
because, you know, I do it,
and you know it'd help me out.
455
00:23:17,367 --> 00:23:20,233
Like, that shows me love.
That's how I understand love.
456
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,166
[Danielle]
All right, what was yours?
457
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,166
Words of affirmation.
458
00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:28,100
-What about this, babe?
-And then, physical touch.
459
00:23:28,100 --> 00:23:30,166
[chuckling] I love you.
I love you.
460
00:23:30,166 --> 00:23:31,467
-Physical touch.
-You feeling my tank,
461
00:23:31,467 --> 00:23:34,100
-Physical touch. [laughing]
-you feeling my tank
right now.
462
00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:36,734
Like, literally his top two
are my bottom two.
463
00:23:37,567 --> 00:23:38,934
So touch,
464
00:23:39,667 --> 00:23:41,300
touch is very personal.
465
00:23:41,300 --> 00:23:43,100
And of course,
I broke all the rules
when I hugged people
466
00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:44,500
when they came in the door,
right?
467
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:46,867
So if someone is
a very "high touch" person
468
00:23:46,867 --> 00:23:48,300
and that's what they need,
469
00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:51,367
and the other person
is a very "low touch" person.
470
00:23:51,367 --> 00:23:54,867
That's very challenging
because you can't fake
that part, right?
471
00:23:54,867 --> 00:23:57,000
It's not about sex
and things like that.
472
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,900
It's really about
that intimacy about
being connected.
473
00:23:59,900 --> 00:24:01,467
But when your partner
needs that,
474
00:24:01,467 --> 00:24:02,900
you have to work
10 times harder
475
00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:04,467
than any other love language.
476
00:24:04,467 --> 00:24:07,500
Because it's not something--
it has to be sincere
and natural.
477
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:09,900
[Adam] I mean,
they say opposites attract,
478
00:24:09,900 --> 00:24:14,166
so I mean, there's definitely
some attraction there.
479
00:24:14,166 --> 00:24:18,166
But it makes things
a lot difficult,
480
00:24:18,166 --> 00:24:20,166
and you know, there's some
flare ups from time to time,
481
00:24:20,166 --> 00:24:22,967
but love and marriage
takes work.
482
00:24:23,500 --> 00:24:24,867
So those are the hardest ones,
483
00:24:24,867 --> 00:24:27,667
when someone is high touch,
and very low touch,
484
00:24:27,667 --> 00:24:30,000
the rest of them,
you can kind of navigate.
485
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,166
[Danielle]
You know how I grew up,
486
00:24:32,166 --> 00:24:34,200
we're not lovey-dovey sisters
and whatnot,
487
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,467
and like,
but we still love each other.
488
00:24:36,467 --> 00:24:39,600
And I love Adam.
And his family.
489
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,700
And they are more lovey-dovey,
490
00:24:41,700 --> 00:24:43,467
and that's strange to me.
491
00:24:43,467 --> 00:24:46,066
But you know,
we can be aware of it
492
00:24:46,066 --> 00:24:49,300
and put the other
before ourselves.
493
00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:53,667
And then hopefully
it will make these acts
of loving easier.
494
00:24:53,667 --> 00:24:56,166
So love languages
are so important,
495
00:24:56,166 --> 00:24:58,634
because if you know it
and you do nothing about it,
496
00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:00,133
problems start.
497
00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:04,567
[Priscilla]
Look how beautiful of--
498
00:25:04,567 --> 00:25:06,467
this makes me want to get
a beach house.
499
00:25:06,467 --> 00:25:08,166
I know, that's my goal, too.
500
00:25:08,166 --> 00:25:10,066
-[chuckles]
-I usually don't even care
about a beach house,
501
00:25:10,066 --> 00:25:12,600
-but...
-[Danielle]
Priscilla's been in my life
502
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,266
for 15, 16 years.
503
00:25:14,266 --> 00:25:17,600
We really have always
have been able to give
sound advice
504
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,000
and not just wanting to tell
your best friend
505
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,100
what she wants to hear,
506
00:25:22,100 --> 00:25:23,600
I'm telling you
what you need to hear.
507
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,900
[Priscilla]
So do you feel like
this is helping you any?
508
00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:28,200
I think that
it's good to, like,
509
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,266
kind of get refreshed with,
like,
510
00:25:30,266 --> 00:25:33,266
"Hey, we're in this together.
Like we're a team, you know?"
511
00:25:33,266 --> 00:25:36,266
Yeah, and I'm sure
there are times
when each one of you
512
00:25:36,266 --> 00:25:38,900
might need the other one
to step up a little bit more.
513
00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:41,100
Yeah,
sometimes it gets overwhelming
514
00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:43,600
-and, you know,
I mean, six kids.
-Yeah.
515
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,567
[Danielle] And I feel like
I can take on a lot
516
00:25:45,567 --> 00:25:48,100
and work well under stress.
517
00:25:48,100 --> 00:25:51,200
But at some point,
it does affect me,
518
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:52,667
-Yeah.
-if I'm honest.
519
00:25:52,667 --> 00:25:57,066
And then there's days,
like when I literally
can't get out of bed.
520
00:25:57,367 --> 00:25:58,467
Uh...
521
00:25:58,467 --> 00:26:00,166
And it's just those days
come and go,
522
00:26:00,166 --> 00:26:03,467
and I just can't always guess
when it's going to happen.
523
00:26:03,467 --> 00:26:06,767
-Yeah.
-But when I get
to that breaking point,
524
00:26:06,767 --> 00:26:09,533
you know,
I think it does freak
Adam out,
525
00:26:10,100 --> 00:26:11,734
and scare him a little bit.
526
00:26:12,367 --> 00:26:13,533
So I don't know,
527
00:26:15,166 --> 00:26:17,166
I mean,
it's going to happen again.
I guarantee it.
528
00:26:17,166 --> 00:26:20,200
It's just the way
that life is, you know,
529
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,967
But it's also very hard
for me to, like,
accept
530
00:26:22,967 --> 00:26:25,367
that I have to,
like stop and rest.
531
00:26:25,367 --> 00:26:27,600
-Calm down...
-And also to realize
that you need somebody else
532
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,066
-to help you.
-Last time
we were together,
533
00:26:30,066 --> 00:26:31,467
we were talking about therapy,
534
00:26:31,467 --> 00:26:33,867
and maybe that
you could use some help
535
00:26:33,867 --> 00:26:36,066
-and that...
-I don't like the word "help".
536
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,567
So are you scared
to talk about it?
537
00:26:40,567 --> 00:26:43,467
I'm not scared
to talk about feelings.
538
00:26:43,467 --> 00:26:44,533
I'm scared...
539
00:26:45,166 --> 00:26:47,266
I'm not scared.
540
00:26:47,266 --> 00:26:50,266
[Danielle] But there,
I think there's just a a line
541
00:26:50,266 --> 00:26:51,967
of once you start,
you can't stop.
542
00:26:51,967 --> 00:26:54,467
And then what is that
going to do to me?
543
00:26:54,467 --> 00:26:56,900
Like, being emotional is hard
544
00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:59,600
because I don't feel
like, I was taught
these things, you know?
545
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,967
And I'm not one
to necessarily hide
how I'm feeling.
546
00:27:03,967 --> 00:27:07,133
Uh, 'cause if I'm mad,
I'm mad. If I'm sad...
547
00:27:07,767 --> 00:27:11,367
Well, I just--
548
00:27:11,367 --> 00:27:14,166
When I'm sad, you know it,
because it exploded,
because I--
549
00:27:14,166 --> 00:27:16,767
because I maybe have
hid it for a little--
just that one emotion.
550
00:27:16,767 --> 00:27:17,867
Are you saying
you don't feel--
551
00:27:17,867 --> 00:27:19,567
Do you feel comfortable
sharing
552
00:27:19,567 --> 00:27:21,567
like some of the stuff
with a therapist?
553
00:27:21,567 --> 00:27:24,867
I think that it's good.
I just... I just...
554
00:27:24,867 --> 00:27:26,533
run from the...
555
00:27:27,967 --> 00:27:30,333
-[Danielle] Uh...Yeah.
-Openness?
556
00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:32,934
But...Yeah.
557
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:46,800
[Deb] So after we eat,
you want to have
a little ice cream?
558
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:47,800
-Yeah!
-[girl] Uh-huh.
559
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,567
-With sprinkles? All right.
-[Riley] Yes.
560
00:27:50,567 --> 00:27:53,066
-[call ringing]
-Oh, Mama's calling.
561
00:27:53,066 --> 00:27:54,967
-Hey. Hey.
-Hey, Mama.
562
00:27:54,967 --> 00:27:56,166
[Adam] Hey, what about me?
563
00:27:56,166 --> 00:27:57,367
-[chuckles]
-Hey, Daddy!
564
00:27:57,367 --> 00:27:59,734
[Riley] Mama,
we cleaned the whole house.
565
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,000
[Deb] You wanna
see how clean the floors are?
566
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,700
So maybe this will
get you down the road
567
00:28:04,700 --> 00:28:07,066
-until you can get
someone hired.
-[Danielle] Good.
568
00:28:07,066 --> 00:28:09,467
-[chuckles]
-[Riley] And after this,
569
00:28:09,467 --> 00:28:14,533
we get um, ice cream with
whipped cream sprinkles
and chocolate.
570
00:28:15,667 --> 00:28:16,867
[Riley] Okay.
571
00:28:16,867 --> 00:28:17,967
-Love you.
-[Danielle] Bye.
572
00:28:17,967 --> 00:28:19,400
-[Adam and Danielle]
Bye. I love you.
-I love you. Bye.
573
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,000
-[Deb] Yeah. Are y'all ready
to have ice cream?
-[Riley] Yes.
574
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,467
She's the most messiest eater
when it comes to ice cream.
575
00:28:27,467 --> 00:28:29,066
Very much so.
576
00:28:29,066 --> 00:28:30,333
[giggles]
577
00:28:31,567 --> 00:28:32,934
Okay,
bring it over here, Haze.
578
00:28:39,867 --> 00:28:41,567
Why would it go...? Gravity.
579
00:28:41,567 --> 00:28:43,867
[girls giggle]
580
00:28:43,867 --> 00:28:46,200
-[Ava] I'm hoping for like...
-Uh-huh.
581
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,767
[Blayke]
That's enough. That's enough.
582
00:28:47,767 --> 00:28:49,700
-[Deb] Ava Lane!
-[girl] [giggles] Ava!
583
00:28:49,700 --> 00:28:51,700
-[Riley] That is a lot.
-[Deb] Oh well.
584
00:28:51,700 --> 00:28:56,400
I just always wanted to
just be that family friend
that could help out.
585
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:58,300
-Cheers!
-Cheers!
586
00:28:58,300 --> 00:28:59,467
[Deb] Thank y'all.
587
00:28:59,467 --> 00:29:01,100
Thank y'all
for letting me come over.
588
00:29:01,100 --> 00:29:03,200
I was not looking for a job.
589
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,266
I do have my grandkids now.
590
00:29:05,266 --> 00:29:07,166
-[Deb] Oh!
-[Parker laughing]
591
00:29:08,567 --> 00:29:11,400
And I think there's so much
that needs to be done.
592
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:16,367
I've encouraged Danielle
to even consider
getting two people to help.
593
00:29:16,367 --> 00:29:18,567
-[Deb] Uh-oh, oh no!
All right, get a paper towel.
-[girls giggle]
594
00:29:18,567 --> 00:29:21,166
So I'm hoping that
she finds someone
595
00:29:21,166 --> 00:29:22,800
on a more permanent basis.
596
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,367
-[girl blows raspberry]
-Let's go up the stairs
597
00:29:24,367 --> 00:29:27,967
and um, make sure our bedrooms
are perfect for when
Mom comes home.
598
00:29:27,967 --> 00:29:30,200
-Ava,
you want to read with me?
-No.
599
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,166
I'm the only person
probably living in this world
600
00:29:33,166 --> 00:29:35,900
with the only set
of all-girl quintuplets.
601
00:29:35,900 --> 00:29:38,100
So I like being
the big sister,
602
00:29:38,100 --> 00:29:41,000
and getting to help them
learn and stuff like that.
603
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,100
Why don't you want to read?
604
00:29:42,100 --> 00:29:44,734
-They might be like fun.
-No, it won't.
605
00:29:46,100 --> 00:29:47,233
Why?
606
00:29:51,066 --> 00:29:53,266
Do you like to read at school
or no?
607
00:29:53,266 --> 00:29:54,667
I don't know.
608
00:29:54,667 --> 00:29:56,266
-Do you?
-Yeah.
609
00:29:56,266 --> 00:29:58,066
I like reading
nonfiction books.
610
00:29:58,066 --> 00:30:00,400
Do you not know what fiction
and nonfiction is?
611
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,300
Nonfiction is real things.
612
00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:05,367
And fiction
is not real things.
613
00:30:05,367 --> 00:30:07,467
Yeah,
and so the more you read,
614
00:30:07,467 --> 00:30:09,367
you'll probably like it
a little bit more.
615
00:30:10,367 --> 00:30:12,367
[Blayke] All right,
I'll hold the book for you,
616
00:30:12,367 --> 00:30:15,600
and you can, like,
try and read a sentence
or something.
617
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:16,500
Please?
618
00:30:17,767 --> 00:30:19,333
-Right.
-[Blayke]
Here, read this sentence.
619
00:30:21,100 --> 00:30:26,767
"The girls looked
at each other.
620
00:30:26,767 --> 00:30:28,467
Let's go."
621
00:30:28,467 --> 00:30:29,900
Hey, that's good.
622
00:30:29,900 --> 00:30:34,100
With my sisters, I always feel
like I have my
own little classroom.
623
00:30:34,100 --> 00:30:37,467
And so I think when Ava
gets the hang of reading
a little bit more,
624
00:30:37,467 --> 00:30:38,900
then she'll like it.
625
00:30:38,900 --> 00:30:40,967
If you ever need help with,
like reading
626
00:30:40,967 --> 00:30:42,767
or doing your homework
for school or anything,
627
00:30:42,767 --> 00:30:45,433
you can ask me for help
if you need it anytime,
628
00:30:53,700 --> 00:30:55,667
-[Danielle] What?
-[Adam] After that workout?
629
00:30:55,667 --> 00:30:56,634
Yeah.
630
00:30:59,100 --> 00:31:00,166
-Uh--
-How you feeling?
631
00:31:01,467 --> 00:31:03,967
I don't know.
I just haven't had a--
632
00:31:05,300 --> 00:31:07,667
I've had a hard time
getting back into it.
633
00:31:07,667 --> 00:31:10,166
[Adam]
You have no "take it easy"
mode.
634
00:31:10,166 --> 00:31:11,567
[Danielle] I agree.
635
00:31:11,567 --> 00:31:12,900
It does make me concerned
636
00:31:12,900 --> 00:31:14,867
whenever I see,
[sighs] you know,
637
00:31:14,867 --> 00:31:16,867
just her stress level,
like climb.
638
00:31:16,867 --> 00:31:19,166
Because, you know,
the more she's stressed,
639
00:31:19,166 --> 00:31:21,400
the more pain
she starts getting.
640
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,667
She has more episodes
where she can't get out of bed
and stuff like that.
641
00:31:24,667 --> 00:31:27,600
And so,
I want to do what I can
642
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,867
to like, alleviate that
and help her.
643
00:31:29,867 --> 00:31:33,166
You ready to, uh,
to do our session?
644
00:31:34,467 --> 00:31:35,834
Are you ready?
645
00:31:35,834 --> 00:31:37,967
[Danielle] So we're about
to have our one-on-one session
with Kris,
646
00:31:37,967 --> 00:31:39,700
and I don't know
how it's gonna go,
647
00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:42,567
but I just want it to be
healthy and helpful.
648
00:31:42,567 --> 00:31:44,467
I don't know,
I think we just have to find
649
00:31:44,467 --> 00:31:46,433
how do we communicate
to each other.
650
00:31:47,300 --> 00:31:49,266
This is awesome,
that we have this opportunity
651
00:31:49,266 --> 00:31:51,367
to get some kind of advice
652
00:31:51,367 --> 00:31:53,266
that I want to be able
to take home.
653
00:31:53,266 --> 00:31:55,433
So, let's go.
654
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:58,900
My arms are sore. [chuckling]
655
00:31:58,900 --> 00:32:00,533
-Babe--
-I've tried that.
656
00:32:05,867 --> 00:32:08,767
-[Danielle]
Phew! Freaking hot, man.
-[whistling]
657
00:32:11,967 --> 00:32:13,400
-[Kris] How you feeling?
-Uh...
658
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,266
I'm good. Just, the story
of my life's waiting
on this man.
659
00:32:16,266 --> 00:32:17,100
Oh, well, I heard that. Yeah.
660
00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:18,433
-Yeah.
-[Danielle] [giggles]
Okay, sit.
661
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,166
Oh, okay, so we've been here
a couple of days.
662
00:32:22,166 --> 00:32:23,200
-Yeah.
-[sighs]
663
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,567
So, what was the kind of
biggest takeaway so far?
664
00:32:25,567 --> 00:32:31,266
Realizing how different we are
as far as how we want
to feel like loved.
665
00:32:31,266 --> 00:32:33,467
-Yeah, that's a huge one
for you guys.
-And--
666
00:32:33,467 --> 00:32:36,066
[Adam] You're talking about,
like, how I play like,
good cop,
667
00:32:36,066 --> 00:32:39,767
and it's just because,
like, I want that like love
and affection from the kids,
668
00:32:39,767 --> 00:32:42,600
because I don't necessarily
get it from you.
669
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,467
And so, like,
I'm the good cop with them
670
00:32:45,467 --> 00:32:48,166
because,
like, I want them to, like,
671
00:32:48,166 --> 00:32:53,266
be drawn to me
and, like, love me,
you know?
672
00:32:53,266 --> 00:32:55,266
It's definitely hard
to kind of
673
00:32:55,266 --> 00:32:57,166
hear for the first time,
honestly,
674
00:32:57,166 --> 00:32:59,266
that sometimes
Adam plays the good cop
675
00:32:59,266 --> 00:33:02,000
just so he gets, you know,
676
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:05,600
the attention and praises
and love and affection
from all the girls.
677
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:07,700
That's a hard thing
to hear as a wife.
678
00:33:07,700 --> 00:33:11,667
I feel like,
it kind of stabbed me
in the heart a little bit.
679
00:33:11,667 --> 00:33:13,367
It's makes me feel really sad
680
00:33:13,367 --> 00:33:16,834
because I don't want him
to think that
I don't love him.
681
00:33:18,867 --> 00:33:21,567
I think the biggest issue,
682
00:33:22,266 --> 00:33:23,667
our struggle that we have
683
00:33:23,667 --> 00:33:26,166
is just our total different
communication styles.
684
00:33:26,166 --> 00:33:29,000
I'm a blabber
and Adam's a processor,
685
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,066
but he doesn't, rarely,
ever explode.
686
00:33:31,066 --> 00:33:34,600
-So it's just, I mean, always,
it's always there.
-[Kris] Just always there.
687
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,967
And you almost
sometimes want him to
just let it all out.
688
00:33:36,967 --> 00:33:39,767
-I do and I'm just like,
can you just...? [chuckling]
-[Kris] Right.
689
00:33:39,767 --> 00:33:41,567
-Right.
-[Adam] But I don't want to
690
00:33:41,567 --> 00:33:44,400
because, like,
I know that if I match you,
691
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,700
-It's just going to, like,
spiral out of control.
-[Kris chuckles]
692
00:33:46,700 --> 00:33:49,500
And so, like, I just choose
to, like, shut down,
693
00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:50,767
-and then...
-Never talk about it.
694
00:33:50,767 --> 00:33:51,900
[Kris] Never talk about it.
695
00:33:51,900 --> 00:33:53,033
-[Danielle] Yeah.
-And that's an introvert.
696
00:33:53,033 --> 00:33:54,667
-[Danielle] And I'm... I'm...
-He's a big time introvert.
697
00:33:54,667 --> 00:33:56,000
Just tell me
what's in your head,
698
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,667
-Like there's--Like, I can't--
-[Kris] Yeah.
699
00:33:57,667 --> 00:34:00,166
I can't do anything
unless I know.
700
00:34:00,166 --> 00:34:03,000
You're the highest risk
for him. If he loses you,
he has nothing.
701
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,066
-It sounds like
there's fear in there.
-Okay. Yeah.
702
00:34:05,066 --> 00:34:08,000
Because it's very easy
to talk to somewhere
you have nothing to lose.
703
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:11,100
Very hard to open up
to someone
where you have a lot to lose.
704
00:34:11,100 --> 00:34:12,367
-[Adam] Mm-hmm.
-[Kris] You know.
705
00:34:12,367 --> 00:34:14,166
So the best thing
you can do there,
706
00:34:14,567 --> 00:34:15,767
give him an hour.
707
00:34:15,767 --> 00:34:17,166
To go to the gym,
do whatever you want.
708
00:34:17,166 --> 00:34:19,600
But when you come back,
we're gonna have
this conversation.
709
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,100
Now he's not put on the spot.
710
00:34:21,100 --> 00:34:22,367
So for you, it's the patience,
711
00:34:22,367 --> 00:34:23,800
because you
just want to solve it
right now, right?
712
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:25,867
Like, why would
we wait an hour
if we didn't have to?
713
00:34:25,867 --> 00:34:28,667
It's truly understanding
that she needs an answer,
714
00:34:28,667 --> 00:34:31,066
knowing that you can get
through the conversation
715
00:34:31,066 --> 00:34:32,767
and everybody's going
to be okay.
716
00:34:32,767 --> 00:34:34,300
[Danielle]
Our communication styles,
717
00:34:34,300 --> 00:34:37,367
between me and Adam,
have always been the struggle.
718
00:34:37,367 --> 00:34:39,266
And so,
it feels really important
719
00:34:39,266 --> 00:34:42,000
for us to talk about this
and address it
720
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,767
so that our marriage
is growing
in the right direction.
721
00:34:44,767 --> 00:34:48,300
Like the issues
that she's had with,
like her health,
722
00:34:48,300 --> 00:34:50,467
the autoimmune stuff.
723
00:34:50,467 --> 00:34:52,767
It's like--It's just hard.
724
00:34:52,767 --> 00:34:56,100
I feel like
a lot of the stuff
within the house,
725
00:34:56,100 --> 00:34:59,266
all these things
that I'm doing
and doing, it depletes me.
726
00:34:59,266 --> 00:35:03,467
And then I need her
at the end of the day
to, like, acknowledge it.
727
00:35:03,467 --> 00:35:04,800
And she just doesn't.
728
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,000
[Danielle] Well, one,
I get frustrated with,
729
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,367
"Oh, because you did this,
I'll do this."
730
00:35:09,367 --> 00:35:12,967
I--I need it to be,
because it's out of love.
731
00:35:12,967 --> 00:35:18,100
I get frustrated that
when I'm physically
and mentally struggling,
732
00:35:18,100 --> 00:35:20,367
I still have to have
the weight of him saying,
733
00:35:20,367 --> 00:35:22,400
-'Oh, well,
I did more than you."
-Right.
734
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:23,967
-And it's the way--
-And that...that just...
735
00:35:23,967 --> 00:35:25,567
that makes me want
to punch the wall.
[chuckles]
736
00:35:25,567 --> 00:35:28,200
Everyone needs
to feel appreciated
for what they did.
737
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:31,000
You know, it's just how,
then we get that appreciation.
738
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,667
-Yeah.
-[Kris] I just think
there's a lot of things
739
00:35:32,667 --> 00:35:35,166
that have maybe been stirring
for a while
in that relationship.
740
00:35:35,166 --> 00:35:36,767
So, you know, going back
741
00:35:36,767 --> 00:35:38,867
and kind of learning that,
let all that go
742
00:35:38,867 --> 00:35:40,400
so you don't keep
carrying it around.
743
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:41,567
You know, unpack some of that.
744
00:35:41,567 --> 00:35:43,066
Leave some of that weight
behind.
745
00:35:43,066 --> 00:35:45,600
All right, well, I'm gonna
give you this homework.
746
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,567
You don't have to do
all of it in one night.
747
00:35:47,567 --> 00:35:49,266
One of those exercises
at the end of the night
748
00:35:49,266 --> 00:35:52,166
for 10 minutes
is say thank you
for three things.
749
00:35:52,166 --> 00:35:54,000
Just say thank you.
750
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,200
And that's what
he's looking for.
751
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,367
But it's also you saying
thank you
for what she does.
752
00:35:57,367 --> 00:35:58,700
-Right?
-[Adam and Danielle]
Okay. Okay.
753
00:35:58,700 --> 00:36:00,867
-Awesome.
-[Kris] It's interesting
754
00:36:00,867 --> 00:36:02,000
because
everyone's issue is different,
755
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,266
and you can't say
one is more important
than the other.
756
00:36:04,266 --> 00:36:06,367
But she is the classic
super mom, right.
757
00:36:06,367 --> 00:36:09,166
"I can do it all, and
I don't need anyone's help."
758
00:36:09,166 --> 00:36:12,000
And someone, maybe that
has always been a survivor.
759
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,367
He's putting more on the plate
because it makes
him feel alive.
760
00:36:14,367 --> 00:36:16,000
But eventually
it's the same thing
761
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,200
that kind of starts to dwindle
at their health
762
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:19,567
and take them down.
763
00:36:19,567 --> 00:36:21,467
The last thing I want to say,
764
00:36:21,467 --> 00:36:23,467
have either of you ever
considered going to therapy?
765
00:36:23,467 --> 00:36:24,700
Um...
766
00:36:24,700 --> 00:36:26,867
So, like I went and saw
somebody for a while.
767
00:36:26,867 --> 00:36:29,166
I was just kind of struggling
and kind of flailing
768
00:36:29,166 --> 00:36:31,667
-as far as like identity
and stuff like that.
-[Kris] Mm-hmm.
769
00:36:31,667 --> 00:36:33,166
How about yourself?
770
00:36:33,166 --> 00:36:34,367
[Danielle] Um...
771
00:36:34,367 --> 00:36:35,700
No.
772
00:36:35,700 --> 00:36:38,734
I'm better in survival mode,
I guess.
773
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:43,900
Okay. It's so easy
to carve out time
for everything else,
774
00:36:43,900 --> 00:36:45,166
but not time for this.
775
00:36:45,166 --> 00:36:46,767
And first,
you have to
take care of yourself,
776
00:36:46,767 --> 00:36:49,100
because if you can't,
you're not going
to be available
777
00:36:49,100 --> 00:36:50,467
-to anybody else.
-Right.
778
00:36:50,467 --> 00:36:53,767
Right. I mean,
are you on a course
that you're both on together
779
00:36:53,767 --> 00:36:55,266
because you're in survival.
780
00:36:55,266 --> 00:36:57,600
[Danielle]
A lot of what Kris is saying
makes sense,
781
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,667
and we're leaving here
with a lot of things to,
you know, work on.
782
00:37:00,667 --> 00:37:04,600
As for therapy,
I guess I have to start
thinking about that, too.
783
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:08,200
Going to a therapist.
It's a safe place
without judgment.
784
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:10,333
-To just [exhales]
-[Adam] Yeah.
785
00:37:13,066 --> 00:37:15,567
[Danielle] I can't constantly
stay like overwhelmed.
786
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:19,133
And so scheduled
a therapist appointment.
787
00:37:19,700 --> 00:37:21,767
Therapist appointment,
for what?
788
00:37:21,767 --> 00:37:24,400
[Crystal] You're just gonna
sit down
and get together and cry?
789
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:26,233
[mockingly crying] [chuckles]
790
00:37:37,166 --> 00:37:38,667
[Danielle]
And that's decorations.
791
00:37:38,667 --> 00:37:42,000
Oh, that's good.
All these racks
are going, right?
792
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,000
Yeah,
so just a few more things
793
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,367
need to be steamed and tagged.
794
00:37:45,367 --> 00:37:46,867
-[Danielle] Okay.
-Yeah.
795
00:37:46,867 --> 00:37:48,100
-Hello.
-[Danielle and Madison]
Hey. Hey.
796
00:37:48,100 --> 00:37:50,367
Whoa,
look at all the holiday stuff.
797
00:37:50,367 --> 00:37:52,767
You want to get in here
and come help steam
and get ready?
798
00:37:52,767 --> 00:37:54,767
-[chuckles]
-Oh yeah,
you want a holiday temp job?
799
00:37:54,767 --> 00:37:56,000
[Crystal] Oh, this is cute.
800
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,367
The holidays
are the busiest time
of the year for us,
801
00:37:58,367 --> 00:38:00,200
and it starts right
after Halloween.
802
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,567
We've got
my annual fashion show,
which is in November.
803
00:38:02,567 --> 00:38:03,900
We've got Thanksgiving
coming up
804
00:38:03,900 --> 00:38:05,266
and we have Black Friday,
805
00:38:05,266 --> 00:38:06,467
which means
the more I prepare,
806
00:38:06,467 --> 00:38:08,967
the better off I'll be
going into this season.
807
00:38:08,967 --> 00:38:10,200
So are you nervous about
808
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,367
this year doing
the fashion show is bigger?
809
00:38:12,367 --> 00:38:14,367
-[Danielle] Yes.
-Plus you're at
a bigger venue, so.
810
00:38:14,367 --> 00:38:17,266
-Yeah. I have more product.
More--more everything.
-[Crystal] Yeah.
811
00:38:17,266 --> 00:38:19,533
-That's a lot of load on you.
-I know.
812
00:38:20,767 --> 00:38:23,867
[Danielle]
And I can't constantly
stay, like, overwhelmed.
813
00:38:23,867 --> 00:38:27,433
And so I scheduled
a therapist's appointment.
814
00:38:28,100 --> 00:38:30,567
Therapist appointment?
For what?
815
00:38:30,567 --> 00:38:32,166
-[Danielle]
Someone to talk to.
-Huh?
816
00:38:32,166 --> 00:38:34,100
[Crystal]
What made you decide
to do that?
817
00:38:34,100 --> 00:38:37,200
After our little marriage
retreat.
818
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:38,767
She recommended because
you and Adam
819
00:38:38,767 --> 00:38:41,166
don't really communicate
that well between each other?
820
00:38:41,166 --> 00:38:44,667
Like it's not--
it's not necessarily,
like, there's a problem.
821
00:38:44,667 --> 00:38:45,800
-[Crystal] No, yeah, I know.
-It's just like--
822
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,467
I'm just always stressed out.
823
00:38:47,467 --> 00:38:48,800
-And...
-[Crystal] Well, I mean, yeah,
824
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,000
-I get stressed out, too,
-It's--
825
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,333
but I never think about
going to see a therapist.
826
00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:56,800
When I hear
the word "therapy,"
827
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,467
when it comes to my mind,
I think, you know, help.
828
00:38:59,467 --> 00:39:01,367
Getting help, not saying
that she needs help,
829
00:39:01,367 --> 00:39:03,367
but it's interesting
that she decided
830
00:39:03,367 --> 00:39:04,734
[chuckling]
Let's go to therapy.
831
00:39:05,700 --> 00:39:07,100
It still blows my mind.
832
00:39:07,100 --> 00:39:08,667
[Crystal]
Who needs a damn therapist?
833
00:39:08,667 --> 00:39:10,800
Like us three
never talked about
our feelings.
834
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:12,367
-I know.
-[Crystal] So, all right,
what do you expect to say
835
00:39:12,367 --> 00:39:14,967
when you go there?
You're just gonna sit down
and get together and cry.
836
00:39:14,967 --> 00:39:17,266
[mockingly crying] [chuckles]
837
00:39:17,266 --> 00:39:23,867
I mean, I'll... I'll...
I'll blab my issues
and complaints and stress.
838
00:39:23,867 --> 00:39:26,400
-I don't know, I mean--
-You might be like this.
[sighing in relief]
839
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:29,166
When you walk out
of the therapy,
that first session. [chuckles]
840
00:39:29,166 --> 00:39:30,767
You need therapy just as much,
841
00:39:30,767 --> 00:39:32,667
-Why?
-because you don't think
about feelings
842
00:39:32,667 --> 00:39:34,467
-and process feelings.
-Ah.
843
00:39:34,467 --> 00:39:36,166
I don't know.
I don't know
if I'd ever do it.
844
00:39:36,166 --> 00:39:37,767
That's when you just
go get a massage,
845
00:39:37,767 --> 00:39:41,600
pamper yourself or
just go outside and scream
and talk to yourself.
846
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:42,867
Have I ever been to therapy?
847
00:39:42,867 --> 00:39:44,000
Hell, no.
848
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,567
And should I go? I don't know.
849
00:39:45,567 --> 00:39:47,767
You hear some people
that do go to therapy.
850
00:39:47,767 --> 00:39:50,500
I mean,
they have horror stories,
and then some of them don't.
851
00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:52,667
So maybe she just needs
somebody else to talk to,
852
00:39:52,667 --> 00:39:53,967
besides just her friends.
853
00:39:53,967 --> 00:39:55,567
But then again, I don't know.
854
00:39:55,567 --> 00:39:58,667
I'm just trying to understand,
what are you planning
on gaining?
855
00:39:58,667 --> 00:40:02,100
I mean, I think
when I get overwhelmed,
stressed,
856
00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:06,667
it plays a part
in my health issues,
857
00:40:06,667 --> 00:40:09,900
But there's eight schedules
that this family runs off of.
858
00:40:09,900 --> 00:40:12,667
And I mean, I don't want
to complain and nag and stuff
859
00:40:12,667 --> 00:40:14,767
all the time with Adam,
and that's our relationship.
860
00:40:14,767 --> 00:40:15,900
-Yeah.
-I don't know.
861
00:40:15,900 --> 00:40:18,467
So, like I mean, I want
to get something out of it.
862
00:40:18,467 --> 00:40:21,166
I just don't want
to physically go through
863
00:40:21,166 --> 00:40:23,300
like the emotional side of it.
864
00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:25,467
I don't like to be emotional,
I guess.
865
00:40:26,166 --> 00:40:29,400
Just weird, like,
I don't like it.
866
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,500
The one feeling
I know really well
867
00:40:31,500 --> 00:40:33,667
is when I feel stressed.
868
00:40:33,667 --> 00:40:37,967
But as a mom,
you've got to deal
with your things separate.
869
00:40:37,967 --> 00:40:40,634
I don't want to stay in
like this...
870
00:40:41,266 --> 00:40:44,567
like [screams] phase.
871
00:40:44,567 --> 00:40:47,500
Even if it is an hour
that I'm going to dedicate,
872
00:40:47,500 --> 00:40:49,500
-Yeah.
-it is an hour for me
873
00:40:49,500 --> 00:40:53,200
and the purpose of going is
to benefit from it
874
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:56,400
and to have some kind
of growth from it.
875
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:57,533
I mean, I don't know.
876
00:40:57,533 --> 00:41:00,467
I just know that,
I don't want
to keep feeling like this
877
00:41:00,467 --> 00:41:03,533
and something
just needs to change.
878
00:41:06,867 --> 00:41:08,767
[narrator]
Next time on OutDaughtered...
879
00:41:08,767 --> 00:41:12,266
Daddy signed you up
for junior cheerleaders.
880
00:41:12,266 --> 00:41:13,967
[Danielle] Did you forget
what week it is?
881
00:41:13,967 --> 00:41:15,367
Fashion Show week.
882
00:41:15,367 --> 00:41:17,367
I mean, you're gonna
practice cheer with them?
883
00:41:17,367 --> 00:41:19,166
I can teach them to dance.
884
00:41:19,166 --> 00:41:20,567
[Riley] Now we rock.
885
00:41:20,567 --> 00:41:22,166
One, two, three!
886
00:41:22,166 --> 00:41:25,200
-I think she was that good.
-[girl] That good.
887
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,400
-Put it in the pocket.
-[girl] Hm.
888
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:28,567
Hi, I'm Jen.
889
00:41:28,567 --> 00:41:29,900
-Hey, nice to meet you. Yeah.
-Nice to meet you. You ready?
890
00:41:29,900 --> 00:41:31,266
-Yeah.
-Come on back.
891
00:41:31,266 --> 00:41:33,367
I'm here for my first, uh,
therapy session.
892
00:41:33,367 --> 00:41:36,200
I have no idea
what to get out of this.
893
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,700
For the past couple of years,
I've just had
some health issues.
894
00:41:38,700 --> 00:41:41,667
That changes your mental state
when you're not feeling well.
895
00:41:41,667 --> 00:41:46,000
-Gotcha.
-And I'm not sure my husband
is understanding in that.
896
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:47,900
I feel almost like resented.
897
00:41:47,900 --> 00:41:50,367
Do you ever let yourself
just cry and go?
898
00:41:50,367 --> 00:41:51,867
I don't like to do it.
899
00:41:51,867 --> 00:41:53,367
'Cause there's a block
in there,
900
00:41:53,767 --> 00:41:55,100
we'd have to go over.
901
00:41:55,100 --> 00:41:56,433
Yeah.
902
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:02,467
Today is the Graeson B
Holiday soiree
and Fashion Show.
903
00:42:02,467 --> 00:42:04,567
-Let's get this started.
-[audience cheering]
904
00:42:04,567 --> 00:42:06,734
[announcer speaking]
905
00:42:10,667 --> 00:42:11,967
[audience cheering]
906
00:42:11,967 --> 00:42:13,834
[Adam]
Can you see the stadium?
907
00:42:16,100 --> 00:42:17,567
It's game day.
908
00:42:17,567 --> 00:42:20,834
-Who's excited?
-[all cheering]
909
00:42:23,300 --> 00:42:25,400
I was almost about
to pee my pants.
910
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,266
[all] Let's go!
911
00:42:27,266 --> 00:42:30,100
[all cheering]