1 00:00:01,030 --> 00:00:03,130 (train chugging) 2 00:00:05,070 --> 00:00:07,600 (train whistle blows) 3 00:00:10,340 --> 00:00:13,610 ADULT SHELDON: I've always loved trains. 4 00:00:13,610 --> 00:00:16,780 In fact, if my career 5 00:00:16,780 --> 00:00:20,110 in theoretical physics hadn't worked out, my backup plan 6 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,780 was to become a professional ticket taker. 7 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,050 Or hobo. 8 00:00:24,060 --> 00:00:26,060 (train whistle blows) 9 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:29,920 ♪ ♪ 10 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:34,360 And when I figured out that trains allowed me 11 00:00:34,370 --> 00:00:36,440 to prove Newton's first law-- 12 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,440 an object in motion stays in motion 13 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,100 with the same speed and in the same direction 14 00:00:41,110 --> 00:00:44,510 unless acted upon by an unbalanced force-- 15 00:00:44,510 --> 00:00:47,170 I felt like Neil Armstrong on the moon, 16 00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:49,210 alone and happy. 17 00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,920 MARY: Shelly, dinner's ready! 18 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,420 ♪ Be-bop-a-lula, baby, what I say ♪ 19 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:56,750 (giggles) I don't care how dimwitted you are. 20 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,060 Scientific principles have to make you smile. 21 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,600 Of course, nobody I knew in East Texas 22 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:05,870 in 1989 cared about Newtonian physics. 23 00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:08,070 The only Newtons they cared about 24 00:01:08,070 --> 00:01:09,540 were Wayne and Fig. 25 00:01:09,540 --> 00:01:11,040 MISSY: Sheldon, if you don't get in here, 26 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,580 I'm gonna lick your toothbrush! Coming! 27 00:01:13,580 --> 00:01:15,170 That's my sister. 28 00:01:15,180 --> 00:01:17,650 And she's done it before. 29 00:01:17,650 --> 00:01:19,510 ♪ Do the walk of life ♪ 30 00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:21,480 ♪ Yeah, he do the walk of life. ♪ 31 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:22,680 The hell were you doing 32 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:23,940 out there? George, 33 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,010 language. 34 00:01:25,020 --> 00:01:28,430 What language? So? I was exploring dimensional kinematics. 35 00:01:28,430 --> 00:01:30,320 Admit it-- he's adopted. 36 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:31,490 SHELDON: How can I be adopted 37 00:01:31,490 --> 00:01:33,020 when I have a twin sister? 38 00:01:33,030 --> 00:01:35,060 Think, monkey, think. 39 00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:36,260 MARY: That's enough. 40 00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:37,260 No one's adopted. 41 00:01:37,260 --> 00:01:38,160 I wish I was. 42 00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:39,370 That can still be arranged. 43 00:01:39,370 --> 00:01:41,070 Now, let's pray. 44 00:01:41,070 --> 00:01:43,010 A moment, please. 45 00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:44,940 (sighs) 46 00:01:44,940 --> 00:01:46,310 Leave him be. He can hold hands 47 00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:47,740 with his family. It won't kill him. 48 00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:49,170 We don't know that. 49 00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:52,050 Georgie, did you wash your hands before dinner? 50 00:01:52,050 --> 00:01:53,250 Or even this week? 51 00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:54,550 None of your business. 52 00:01:54,550 --> 00:01:56,020 Hence the mittens. 53 00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,080 MARY: Thank you, God, for this food 54 00:01:59,090 --> 00:02:01,725 we're about to receive and for the nourishment of our bodies, 55 00:02:01,726 --> 00:02:03,580 and bless the hands that prepared it. 56 00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:04,990 ALL: Amen. 57 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,760 How come we ain't got no tater tots? 58 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:10,160 I made tater tots last night. 59 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:11,390 GEORGE: I'd take tater tots 60 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,630 over mashed potaters any day. 61 00:02:13,630 --> 00:02:15,400 Just eat what I made you. Can we at least 62 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,660 have tater tots tomorrow? 63 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,100 ADULT SHELDON: It was family dinners like this 64 00:02:18,110 --> 00:02:21,180 that led me to adopt a mid-Atlantic accent. 65 00:02:21,180 --> 00:02:23,040 Nobel Prize winners... 66 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,970 (Southern accent): ought not be orderin' tater tots. 67 00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:27,180 Everybody excited to start school Monday? 68 00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:28,380 I am. 69 00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:30,110 I guess so. 70 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,420 MARY: Georgie? 71 00:02:31,420 --> 00:02:32,820 Freshman year, that's a big deal. 72 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,350 How can I be excited when he's gonna be 73 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:35,860 in the same grade as me? 74 00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:37,130 SHELDON: Don't worry, Georgie, I'm not planning 75 00:02:37,130 --> 00:02:39,420 on being in the ninth grade for very long. 76 00:02:39,430 --> 00:02:42,170 All I know is he's not in the same grade as me anymore, 77 00:02:42,170 --> 00:02:43,420 and I'm thrilled. 78 00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:45,530 Good luck with your finger painting. 79 00:02:45,530 --> 00:02:47,430 You're gonna get your ass kicked in high school. 80 00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:49,600 MARY: Hey, language. 81 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:50,800 I'm not going to be assaulted. 82 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,530 High school is a haven for higher learning. 83 00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:53,640 Oh, dear God. 84 00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,640 Speaking of God, who's going to church 85 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,070 with me tomorrow? GEORGE SR.: I can't. 86 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,215 I'm meeting with the other coaches. 87 00:02:59,216 --> 00:03:00,470 You can't meet after church? 88 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,640 No, Mary, I can't meet after church. 89 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,080 Georgie? 90 00:03:05,090 --> 00:03:07,660 I got to study my playbook. 91 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,750 I'll go with you, Mom. 92 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:13,030 MISSY: Why are you going? 93 00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:15,200 You don't believe in God. No, 94 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,760 but I believe in Mom. 95 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:17,960 I'll take it. Missy? 96 00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:19,470 Can't, Heather asked me to... 97 00:03:19,470 --> 00:03:22,140 You're goin'. Son of a bitch. 98 00:03:22,140 --> 00:03:23,270 Hey. Ow! 99 00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,130 (laughs) 100 00:03:25,510 --> 00:03:27,040 MARY: Missy... (gasps) Don't you 101 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,470 throw something at the dinner table. George Jr. 102 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,550 ADULT SHELDON: Jane Goodall had to go to Africa to study apes. 103 00:03:32,550 --> 00:03:33,650 MISSY: Hey! 104 00:03:33,650 --> 00:03:35,850 I just had to go to dinner. 105 00:03:35,850 --> 00:03:38,390 Never at the dinner table! 106 00:03:38,390 --> 00:03:40,120 You knock that off, George! 107 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,920 D-Do not retaliate! 108 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:45,920 ALL: ♪ Onward, Christian soldiers ♪ 109 00:03:45,930 --> 00:03:50,460 ♪ Marching as to war ♪ 110 00:03:50,460 --> 00:03:55,330 ♪ With the cross of Jesus ♪ 111 00:03:55,340 --> 00:04:01,140 ♪ Going on before. ♪ 112 00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:04,840 In Matthew nine, verse four, Jesus said, 113 00:04:04,850 --> 00:04:09,080 "Why would you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts?" 114 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,240 (quietly): Do you have evil thoughts? Shh. 115 00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:13,780 I just don't think this part applies to me. 116 00:04:13,790 --> 00:04:15,890 That's fine. Be quiet and listen. 117 00:04:15,890 --> 00:04:18,030 I'm only nine years old. 118 00:04:18,030 --> 00:04:20,190 Most evil doesn't start till puberty. 119 00:04:20,190 --> 00:04:21,190 (clears throat) 120 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,660 Hello. 121 00:04:22,660 --> 00:04:24,890 Philippians 4:8, 122 00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:26,770 "Finally, brothers, whatever is..." 123 00:04:26,770 --> 00:04:28,470 Do you have evil thoughts? 124 00:04:28,470 --> 00:04:29,810 I'm having one right now. 125 00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:31,130 Really? What is it? 126 00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:33,810 When we get home, I'm gonna kick your little balls. 127 00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:37,410 You can't. They haven't descended yet. 128 00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,670 Mom? What? 129 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,010 When should I be expecting my testicles? 130 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,320 "...whatever is admirable..." 131 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,550 What is wrong with him? 132 00:04:45,550 --> 00:04:47,210 Nothin' is wrong with him. 133 00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:50,050 Now, turn around before I knock your lights out. 134 00:04:50,060 --> 00:04:52,795 PASTOR: ...think continually on these things. 135 00:04:52,796 --> 00:04:54,190 A good thought leads 136 00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:55,790 to a good thing. 137 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,730 You feel it in your body. You feel it in your... 138 00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:59,930 ADULT SHELDON: My mom was my Christian soldier. 139 00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:02,130 ...leads to evil things and sits there and... 140 00:05:02,140 --> 00:05:06,080 And for the record, they descended when I was 15. 141 00:05:10,340 --> 00:05:12,270 (whirring) 142 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,850 ♪ ♪ 143 00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:18,490 Shelly, it's your last day of summer. Go out and enjoy it. 144 00:05:18,490 --> 00:05:20,620 But I have to learn the student handbook. 145 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,820 Ooh, did you know extreme hairstyles, 146 00:05:22,820 --> 00:05:25,290 goatees and mustaches are not allowed? 147 00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:28,520 I didn't. I personally find that very reassuring. 148 00:05:28,530 --> 00:05:30,930 Look what a beautiful day it is. 149 00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:34,000 (loud whirring) 150 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,760 (tires screeching) 151 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:40,970 (deep barking) 152 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,380 Go play. 153 00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:48,450 "Go play"-- if only life were that simple. 154 00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:56,680 There, I played. 155 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,480 Hey, Sheldon! 156 00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:59,620 Hello, Billy Sparks. 157 00:05:59,630 --> 00:06:01,800 Hello, Matilda Sparks. I heard 158 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,030 you're going to high school tomorrow. I am. 159 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,090 You're going to have to find someone else 160 00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,900 to torment on the playground. 161 00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:09,730 "Torment"? 162 00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:12,110 (sighs) It means to maliciously harass. 163 00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:13,770 "Her ass"? (chuckles) 164 00:06:13,770 --> 00:06:15,100 That's funny. 165 00:06:15,110 --> 00:06:16,980 Well, this was nice. 166 00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:18,050 Hey, doofus! 167 00:06:18,910 --> 00:06:19,740 (squawks) 168 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,250 Mom! 169 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:24,620 Good girl. Mom! 170 00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,855 MARY: What am I supposed to do? His feet are growing. 171 00:06:26,856 --> 00:06:29,150 GEORGE SR.: Why can't he wear Georgie's old shoes? 172 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:30,330 MARY: He won't hold your hand. 173 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,020 You think he's gonna put his feet in his brother's smelly shoes? 174 00:06:32,030 --> 00:06:34,360 GEORGE SR.: Well, we damn well better cut back somewhere. 175 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,320 MARY: Will you please keep your voice down? 176 00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:37,520 (door shuts) 177 00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:39,730 They're fighting about you again. 178 00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:41,960 They're fighting about money. 179 00:06:41,970 --> 00:06:44,470 It's a common argument in marriages. 180 00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,170 (door opens) 181 00:06:46,170 --> 00:06:47,900 Lights out. 182 00:06:47,910 --> 00:06:49,610 Big day tomorrow. 183 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:51,840 Mom? 184 00:06:51,850 --> 00:06:53,050 Hmm? 185 00:06:53,050 --> 00:06:55,280 Do we have financial problems? 186 00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,010 Don't you worry about that. 187 00:06:58,020 --> 00:06:59,420 We are fine. 188 00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,990 Now, go to sleep. 189 00:07:01,990 --> 00:07:03,560 (sighs) 190 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,200 She's lying. She just said that to make you feel better. 191 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,490 Mom doesn't lie. 192 00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:10,160 Sure, she thinks 193 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,860 the Earth was made in six days, 194 00:07:11,870 --> 00:07:16,070 but that's 'cause she's gullible, not a liar. 195 00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:19,800 MISSY: Mom, 196 00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:22,140 Sheldon can't find his bowtie. 197 00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:25,010 Really? I laid it out for him. 198 00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:27,210 Leave it alone, Mary. He doesn't need a bowtie. 199 00:07:27,210 --> 00:07:29,880 It's his first day of school. Let him wear what he wants. 200 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,580 SHELDON: Mom, I can't find my bowtie! 201 00:07:31,590 --> 00:07:34,560 Dear Lord, why's he got to wear a bowtie? 202 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,090 Can I drive in with you? 203 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,850 Sure. 204 00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:40,560 Everybody's gonna know he's your brother. 205 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,160 It's gonna be awful for you. 206 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:43,360 Tell her to shut up. 207 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,160 She's not wrong. 208 00:07:45,170 --> 00:07:46,770 (TV plays quietly) 209 00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,705 It's got to be here. SHELDON: It's not. 210 00:07:48,706 --> 00:07:51,570 It's not! Shelly, stay calm. We'll find it. 211 00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:54,100 My tie is gone! My tie is gone! Shelly, 212 00:07:54,110 --> 00:07:55,745 you don't really need a tie. 213 00:07:55,746 --> 00:07:57,840 I have to find my tie. I have to find my tie. 214 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,440 Be right back. 215 00:08:00,450 --> 00:08:03,150 Professor Proton wears a bowtie! 216 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,350 George Junior, 217 00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:07,950 give me back that bowtie right now! I didn't take it! 218 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,920 Don't you lie to me! I'm not lying! 219 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,090 We'll see about that. Stay out of my room! 220 00:08:14,090 --> 00:08:16,060 She's gonna find your dirty magazines. 221 00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:17,360 Shut up! 222 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,660 You are not having a good day. 223 00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:20,940 (sighs) 224 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,530 (sighs) 225 00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:29,170 Ugh! 226 00:08:29,180 --> 00:08:31,140 (sighs) 227 00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:33,270 Hey. Hey, he didn't take it. 228 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,740 Then what happened to it?! SHELDON: Help me find my bowtie! 229 00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:37,880 I'll check in the bathroom! 230 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:39,280 I took it. 231 00:08:39,290 --> 00:08:41,360 Why would you do that? Mary, 232 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,160 the boy is nine years old and going into high school. 233 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,530 Isn't that weird enough? 234 00:08:45,530 --> 00:08:47,190 Give it to me. Come on. 235 00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:48,620 It's not just Sheldon. 236 00:08:48,630 --> 00:08:50,470 Georgie's gonna be in class with him. 237 00:08:50,470 --> 00:08:52,260 Not in the bathroom! 238 00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,130 Give it. 239 00:08:54,130 --> 00:08:56,560 ♪ Think about it ♪ 240 00:08:56,570 --> 00:09:00,300 ♪ There must be higher love ♪ 241 00:09:00,310 --> 00:09:05,280 ♪ Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above ♪ 242 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,180 ♪ Without it... ♪ Would you like to play a driving game? 243 00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:10,080 Not really. I always lose. 244 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,110 I know. That's why it's fun. (laughs) 245 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,760 How about license plates with prime numbers 246 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,160 followed by a cons...? Why don't we just talk? 247 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,230 Very well. 248 00:09:18,230 --> 00:09:20,260 You understand 249 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,590 that some people are gonna be intimidated by you 250 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,200 'cause of how smart you are? 251 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,100 Or maybe they'll recognize my intellect 252 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,730 and make me their leader. 253 00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:31,140 Lord, look after my son. 254 00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:34,410 Don't let him get stuffed in a gym bag. 255 00:09:34,410 --> 00:09:39,210 ♪ Bring me a higher love, oh, oh ♪ 256 00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:41,710 ♪ Bring me a higher love... ♪ 257 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,380 (distorted sounds and voices) 258 00:09:44,380 --> 00:09:47,050 (distorted speech) 259 00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:48,380 Oh, dear. 260 00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:49,760 Yeah. 261 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:52,090 That boy has an exposed tattoo. 262 00:09:52,090 --> 00:09:53,520 He does. 263 00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:54,900 I wonder if he knows 264 00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:56,670 that's in violation of the dress code. 265 00:09:56,670 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaking of which, how about we lose the bowtie? 266 00:10:01,370 --> 00:10:03,040 Why? 267 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,610 Look around, honey. None of the other kids are wearing one. 268 00:10:05,610 --> 00:10:07,710 Well, perhaps I'll start a fad. 269 00:10:07,710 --> 00:10:09,880 No, you won't. Please trust Mommy. 270 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,370 All right, tell you what. 271 00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:14,880 You take it off, and this weekend, 272 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:17,310 I'll take you to RadioShack. 273 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:18,690 Hmm? 274 00:10:18,690 --> 00:10:20,820 (bell ringing) 275 00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:23,150 (indistinct chatter) 276 00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:26,990 (growling) 277 00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:28,390 You doing okay? 278 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,460 I guess. 279 00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:31,520 (roars) 280 00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,060 I smell ammonia. 281 00:10:33,070 --> 00:10:35,610 They must've done a thorough cleaning recently. 282 00:10:35,610 --> 00:10:37,260 I like that. 283 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:40,900 MARY: And remember, if anybody bothers you, what do you say? 284 00:10:40,910 --> 00:10:42,940 My dad's a football coach. 285 00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:45,140 And? My brother's a football player. 286 00:10:45,150 --> 00:10:46,350 Good. 287 00:10:46,350 --> 00:10:47,680 Hey, Mom, look. 288 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,040 That girl's pregnant. 289 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,580 Congratulations. 290 00:10:55,050 --> 00:10:56,750 (toilet flushing) 291 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,230 Well, that was revolting. 292 00:10:59,230 --> 00:11:00,895 All right. This is your homeroom. 293 00:11:00,896 --> 00:11:02,460 Do you want me to go in with you? 294 00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:05,560 No. Although I could've used you in the restroom. 295 00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:07,700 Okay, well... 296 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,000 You have a good day. 297 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,530 And I'll pick you up after school, 298 00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:12,110 same door we came in. 299 00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:14,780 Are you crying or having an allergy attack? 300 00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:17,040 Allergies. 301 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,740 It's probably the ammonia. 302 00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:20,610 Probably. (sniffles) 303 00:11:20,610 --> 00:11:23,610 Okay. Let the learning begin. 304 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,730 (exhales) 305 00:11:32,730 --> 00:11:37,060 All right, everybody, my name is Ms. MacElroy. 306 00:11:37,060 --> 00:11:39,230 In addition to being your homeroom teacher, 307 00:11:39,230 --> 00:11:42,030 I'll be seeing some of you in my English class, 308 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,040 and some of you on the volleyball court. 309 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,910 Just to give you a little history, 310 00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:47,980 I've been here at Medford for 29 years... 311 00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:49,370 (mouthing) 312 00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:51,380 ...I taught some of your older brothers and sisters, 313 00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:53,520 and sadly, some of your parents. 314 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:56,610 Not much I haven't seen. 315 00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:58,620 Until today. 316 00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:01,860 I'm sure you're well aware we have a student with us, 317 00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:03,860 who, despite his young age, 318 00:12:03,860 --> 00:12:06,160 is remarkably gifted. 319 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,370 And I expect y'all to make him feel welcome. 320 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:11,500 Yes, Sheldon? 321 00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:14,170 Per the student dress and grooming code, 322 00:12:14,170 --> 00:12:16,170 this boy's hair is too long, 323 00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,105 this boy is wearing sports attire 324 00:12:18,106 --> 00:12:19,470 outside of a designated area 325 00:12:19,470 --> 00:12:22,000 and this girl's blouse is diaphanous, 326 00:12:22,010 --> 00:12:24,980 which means I can see her brassiere. 327 00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:27,010 (laughter) Thank you. 328 00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:28,910 I will take that into account. 329 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,250 All right. 330 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,410 We have a few minutes before first period. 331 00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:34,520 I need y'all to fill out these forms. 332 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,780 What? 333 00:12:35,790 --> 00:12:38,930 Also in violation of the grooming code on page 48, 334 00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:40,960 article five, subsection B, 335 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,060 you have a bit of a mustache. 336 00:12:43,060 --> 00:12:44,390 (laughter) 337 00:12:46,030 --> 00:12:47,690 This is a stupid idea. This boy does not 338 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:48,830 belong in our school. 339 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,770 PETERSEN: Come on Vicky, it's just the first day. 340 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,870 Why don't we all just take a deep breath here? 341 00:12:52,870 --> 00:12:55,170 The hell with that. Five minutes into my math class, 342 00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:56,940 he questioned my credentials. 343 00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:58,670 How am I supposed to control a classroom when a kid accuses me 344 00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:00,610 of being in breach of the hygiene code? 345 00:13:00,610 --> 00:13:02,380 Well, Hubert, it wouldn't kill you to shower 346 00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:05,010 a little more often. George, you want to weigh in here? 347 00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:06,855 Well... INGRAM: Oral Roberts University 348 00:13:06,856 --> 00:13:08,110 is a wonderful school. 349 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,950 He said I was intimidated by his intelligence, 350 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:10,890 and then, 351 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:13,790 he offered to be my "leader." 352 00:13:13,790 --> 00:13:15,560 (clears throat) 353 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,090 (playing Mozart's Sonata in D) 354 00:13:44,220 --> 00:13:46,420 (piano playing) 355 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,000 (stops playing) 356 00:13:59,010 --> 00:14:00,710 Do you know this sonata? 357 00:14:00,710 --> 00:14:01,980 No. 358 00:14:01,980 --> 00:14:04,050 How long have you played the piano? 359 00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:06,840 I don't play piano. 360 00:14:06,850 --> 00:14:09,080 PETERSEN: George, 361 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,640 you got any thoughts here? 362 00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:11,810 I certainly do. 363 00:14:12,990 --> 00:14:15,160 Mary, tell him. 364 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:18,020 It's simple. We don't have a choice. 365 00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:19,490 Well, you gave it a shot. 366 00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:21,590 We wish you luck with Sheldon elsewhere... 367 00:14:21,590 --> 00:14:23,090 MARY: No, no, no. 368 00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,500 We don't have a choice. 369 00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:25,900 He's got to stay here. 370 00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:27,270 We can't afford 371 00:14:27,270 --> 00:14:28,240 private school. 372 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:29,760 I sure can't homeschool him. 373 00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:32,010 He's doing calculus and Euclidean something or other. 374 00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:33,210 Euclidean geometry. 375 00:14:33,210 --> 00:14:34,810 Guess where I learned that. 376 00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:37,080 Yeah, yeah, we know. 377 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:38,780 All I care about is that 378 00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:41,950 my son gets the education he deserves, so you all 379 00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:43,150 are gonna have to figure this out. 380 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,890 Coach, can you help me out here, please? 381 00:14:44,890 --> 00:14:46,310 'Cause I'm dyin'. 382 00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:52,560 I'd rather not. 383 00:14:55,790 --> 00:14:57,520 G minor. 384 00:14:58,730 --> 00:15:00,930 F. 385 00:15:00,930 --> 00:15:03,300 E flat. 386 00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:06,340 C minor. 387 00:15:08,370 --> 00:15:10,100 You have perfect pitch. 388 00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,570 Okay. 389 00:15:11,580 --> 00:15:15,250 Sweetheart, you should really pursue music. 390 00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:18,220 No, thank you. Musicians take drugs. 391 00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:22,230 Is there a faculty restroom I could use? 392 00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,660 (whistle blows) 393 00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:27,160 ♪ Ooh... ♪ 394 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,290 (grunting) 395 00:15:28,290 --> 00:15:31,420 ♪ Ooh... ♪ 396 00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:37,610 Cooper, Stinson, you're up. 397 00:15:37,610 --> 00:15:41,170 (laughs) Hey, look, it's the dumb brother. 398 00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:45,540 Okay. (blows whistle) 399 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,380 (grunting, yelling) 400 00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:51,640 (whistle blowing) 401 00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:53,010 BERGDOFF: That's enough. Hey. 402 00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:53,860 (yelling) (whistle blowing) 403 00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:56,280 BERGDOFF: Hey, that's enough! 404 00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:57,730 Hey, hey! GEORGE SR.: That's enough! 405 00:15:57,730 --> 00:15:58,990 Georgie. 406 00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:00,720 Georgie! Georgie! 407 00:16:00,730 --> 00:16:02,300 Stop! Stop! 408 00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:07,870 What the hell is wrong with you? 409 00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:11,840 You okay? 410 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,840 No, I'm not okay. 411 00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:24,250 Where you think you're going? 412 00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:26,210 I quit. I don't want to play anymore! 413 00:16:26,220 --> 00:16:29,590 Since when? Since right now! 414 00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:31,290 All right, what is going on? 415 00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,050 What do you think's going on?! 416 00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,570 You mean Sheldon? 417 00:16:37,260 --> 00:16:40,190 You can't let that bother you. 418 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,630 It doesn't bother you? 419 00:16:41,630 --> 00:16:43,430 You got called to the principal's office. 420 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,310 Yeah, that wasn't so great. 421 00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:47,040 I can't be in the same school as him! 422 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,970 Well, I don't see what choice you have. 423 00:16:48,980 --> 00:16:52,520 Right. Ever since he could talk, I quit having any choices. 424 00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:58,780 (groans) 425 00:16:58,790 --> 00:17:00,950 I know it's hard. 426 00:17:00,950 --> 00:17:04,880 I'm telling you, as your coach, quit your whining, 427 00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:07,390 get your uniform on and you get your ass back out there. 428 00:17:07,390 --> 00:17:10,390 But what about as my dad? 429 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,030 Your dad is having a bad day. 430 00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:15,460 Listen to your coach. 431 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:25,000 Can a clock be powered by an ordinary potato? 432 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:26,870 I hope so, boys and girls, 433 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:31,080 or this is going to be a really boring episode. 434 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,250 The supplies you'll need... 435 00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:34,080 Why can't we watch DuckTales? 436 00:17:34,090 --> 00:17:37,330 'Cause we don't learn anything watching DuckTales. 437 00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:40,850 It's TV; we aren't supposed to learn. 438 00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,590 ...two alligator grips and, let's see... 439 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,200 Of course, a clock. 440 00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,140 Missy, go somewhere else. I need to talk to your brother. 441 00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:50,960 Why don't you go somewhere else and I can watch Duck... 442 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,170 Go! 443 00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:55,270 I hate everybody. 444 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,010 It's time for science. 445 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,420 Hey, he was about to power a clock with a potato. 446 00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:04,150 Not possible. 447 00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,210 Now, listen... Am I in trouble? 448 00:18:06,220 --> 00:18:08,520 No. 449 00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,080 Maybe. Just listen. 450 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,250 You're not gonna make it in this school 451 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,920 if you keep ratting people out. 452 00:18:15,930 --> 00:18:17,570 But they were breaking the grooming codes 453 00:18:17,570 --> 00:18:19,190 and the dress codes. 454 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,600 I saw one boy with a T-shirt that said... 455 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,330 (whispering): "Bite me." 456 00:18:24,340 --> 00:18:26,040 Yeah. That-that's terrible. 457 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,810 Sheldon, let me tell you a little story. 458 00:18:28,810 --> 00:18:30,950 Did you ever wonder why we moved from Galveston to Medford? 459 00:18:30,950 --> 00:18:34,540 No. I tend to wonder about the bigger questions. 460 00:18:34,550 --> 00:18:36,850 Okay, well, here's why. 461 00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:39,690 Your dad had a real good coaching job 462 00:18:39,690 --> 00:18:42,090 and I saw some grown-ups breaking rules. 463 00:18:42,090 --> 00:18:43,890 What'd they do? 464 00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,020 I-It's kind of complicated, but... 465 00:18:46,030 --> 00:18:47,900 football coaches aren't allowed to recruit kids 466 00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:50,960 from other high schools to play on their teams. 467 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,060 And you told on them? 468 00:18:52,070 --> 00:18:53,600 Yeah. You know what happened? 469 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,400 Justice descended upon the rule breakers? 470 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,900 I got fired, Sheldon. 471 00:18:59,910 --> 00:19:01,940 And I got a bad reputation. 472 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,840 Oh. That's why you drink so much beer. 473 00:19:08,610 --> 00:19:10,280 Just do yourself a favor. 474 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,680 Okay? Go to school tomorrow, 475 00:19:12,690 --> 00:19:15,120 and mind your own business. 476 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,720 All right? 477 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,390 Dad. 478 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,130 Are you sad that you got fired? 479 00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:28,860 Mostly angry. 480 00:19:28,870 --> 00:19:32,140 But yeah. 481 00:19:32,140 --> 00:19:34,110 Maybe a little sad. 482 00:19:34,134 --> 00:19:39,134 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA www.PSArips.com 483 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,580 All right, let's say grace. 484 00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:49,680 Thank you, God, 485 00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:52,560 for this food we are about to receive. 486 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,930 (muffled praying continues) 487 00:20:00,670 --> 00:20:02,370 ADULT SHELDON: That was the first time 488 00:20:02,370 --> 00:20:04,040 I held my father's hand. 489 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:07,310 MARY: ...our bodies and bless the hands that prepared it. 490 00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:09,040 Amen. 491 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,470 GEORGIE: Amen. Amen. 492 00:20:11,580 --> 00:20:16,180 MARY: Hey, George Jr., wait your turn. 493 00:20:16,180 --> 00:20:17,810 ADULT SHELDON: I wouldn't touch my brother's hand 494 00:20:17,820 --> 00:20:19,950 until 17 years later, 495 00:20:19,950 --> 00:20:23,750 thanks to the invention of Purell. 496 00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:38,010 You know what I find comforting? 497 00:20:38,010 --> 00:20:39,270 What's that, baby? 498 00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:41,770 In a world filled with uncertainty, 499 00:20:41,770 --> 00:20:43,500 this place will be here forever. 500 00:20:45,340 --> 00:20:48,240 CLERK: Hey, Sheldon, how you doing?