1
00:00:01,030 --> 00:00:03,130
(train chugging)
2
00:00:05,070 --> 00:00:07,600
(train whistle blows)
3
00:00:10,340 --> 00:00:13,610
ADULT SHELDON:
I've always loved trains.
4
00:00:13,610 --> 00:00:16,780
In fact, if my career
5
00:00:16,780 --> 00:00:20,110
in theoretical physics hadn't
worked out, my backup plan
6
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,780
was to become
a professional ticket taker.
7
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,050
Or hobo.
8
00:00:24,060 --> 00:00:26,060
(train whistle blows)
9
00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:29,920
♪ ♪
10
00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:34,360
And when I figured out
that trains allowed me
11
00:00:34,370 --> 00:00:36,440
to prove Newton's first law--
12
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,440
an object in motion stays
in motion
13
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,100
with the same speed
and in the same direction
14
00:00:41,110 --> 00:00:44,510
unless acted upon
by an unbalanced force--
15
00:00:44,510 --> 00:00:47,170
I felt like Neil Armstrong
on the moon,
16
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:49,210
alone and happy.
17
00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,920
MARY:
Shelly, dinner's ready!
18
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,420
♪ Be-bop-a-lula,
baby, what I say ♪
19
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:56,750
(giggles) I don't care
how dimwitted you are.
20
00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,060
Scientific principles
have to make you smile.
21
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,600
Of course,
nobody I knew in East Texas
22
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:05,870
in 1989 cared
about Newtonian physics.
23
00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:08,070
The only Newtons
they cared about
24
00:01:08,070 --> 00:01:09,540
were Wayne and Fig.
25
00:01:09,540 --> 00:01:11,040
MISSY: Sheldon, if
you don't get in here,
26
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,580
I'm gonna lick
your toothbrush!
Coming!
27
00:01:13,580 --> 00:01:15,170
That's my sister.
28
00:01:15,180 --> 00:01:17,650
And she's done it before.
29
00:01:17,650 --> 00:01:19,510
♪ Do the walk of life ♪
30
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:21,480
♪ Yeah, he do
the walk of life. ♪
31
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:22,680
The hell
were you doing
32
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:23,940
out there?
George,
33
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,010
language.
34
00:01:25,020 --> 00:01:28,430
What language? So?
I was exploring dimensional kinematics.
35
00:01:28,430 --> 00:01:30,320
Admit it--
he's adopted.
36
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:31,490
SHELDON:
How can I be adopted
37
00:01:31,490 --> 00:01:33,020
when I have a twin sister?
38
00:01:33,030 --> 00:01:35,060
Think, monkey, think.
39
00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:36,260
MARY:
That's enough.
40
00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:37,260
No one's adopted.
41
00:01:37,260 --> 00:01:38,160
I wish I was.
42
00:01:38,170 --> 00:01:39,370
That can still be arranged.
43
00:01:39,370 --> 00:01:41,070
Now, let's pray.
44
00:01:41,070 --> 00:01:43,010
A moment, please.
45
00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:44,940
(sighs)
46
00:01:44,940 --> 00:01:46,310
Leave him be.
He can hold hands
47
00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:47,740
with his family.
It won't kill him.
48
00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:49,170
We don't know that.
49
00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:52,050
Georgie, did you wash
your hands before dinner?
50
00:01:52,050 --> 00:01:53,250
Or even this week?
51
00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:54,550
None of your business.
52
00:01:54,550 --> 00:01:56,020
Hence the mittens.
53
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,080
MARY: Thank you, God,
for this food
54
00:01:59,090 --> 00:02:01,725
we're about to receive and for
the nourishment of our bodies,
55
00:02:01,726 --> 00:02:03,580
and bless the hands
that prepared it.
56
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:04,990
ALL:
Amen.
57
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,760
How come we ain't got
no tater tots?
58
00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:10,160
I made tater tots last night.
59
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:11,390
GEORGE: I'd take
tater tots
60
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,630
over mashed potaters any day.
61
00:02:13,630 --> 00:02:15,400
Just eat what I made you.
Can we at least
62
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,660
have tater tots
tomorrow?
63
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,100
ADULT SHELDON:
It was family dinners like this
64
00:02:18,110 --> 00:02:21,180
that led me to adopt
a mid-Atlantic accent.
65
00:02:21,180 --> 00:02:23,040
Nobel Prize winners...
66
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,970
(Southern accent):
ought not be orderin'
tater tots.
67
00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:27,180
Everybody excited
to start school Monday?
68
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:28,380
I am.
69
00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:30,110
I guess so.
70
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,420
MARY:
Georgie?
71
00:02:31,420 --> 00:02:32,820
Freshman year,
that's a big deal.
72
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,350
How can I be excited
when he's gonna be
73
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:35,860
in the same grade as me?
74
00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:37,130
SHELDON:
Don't worry, Georgie,
I'm not planning
75
00:02:37,130 --> 00:02:39,420
on being in the ninth
grade for very long.
76
00:02:39,430 --> 00:02:42,170
All I know is he's not in
the same grade as me anymore,
77
00:02:42,170 --> 00:02:43,420
and I'm thrilled.
78
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:45,530
Good luck
with your finger painting.
79
00:02:45,530 --> 00:02:47,430
You're gonna get your ass kicked
in high school.
80
00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:49,600
MARY:
Hey, language.
81
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:50,800
I'm not going to be assaulted.
82
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,530
High school is a haven
for higher learning.
83
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:53,640
Oh, dear God.
84
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,640
Speaking of God,
who's going to church
85
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,070
with me tomorrow?
GEORGE SR.: I can't.
86
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,215
I'm meeting
with the other coaches.
87
00:02:59,216 --> 00:03:00,470
You can't meet after church?
88
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,640
No, Mary,
I can't meet after church.
89
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,080
Georgie?
90
00:03:05,090 --> 00:03:07,660
I got to study
my playbook.
91
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,750
I'll go with you, Mom.
92
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:13,030
MISSY:
Why are you going?
93
00:03:13,030 --> 00:03:15,200
You don't believe in God.
No,
94
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,760
but I believe in Mom.
95
00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:17,960
I'll take it. Missy?
96
00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:19,470
Can't, Heather
asked me to...
97
00:03:19,470 --> 00:03:22,140
You're goin'.
Son of a bitch.
98
00:03:22,140 --> 00:03:23,270
Hey.
Ow!
99
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,130
(laughs)
100
00:03:25,510 --> 00:03:27,040
MARY: Missy...
(gasps) Don't you
101
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,470
throw something at the
dinner table. George Jr.
102
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,550
ADULT SHELDON:
Jane Goodall had to go
to Africa to study apes.
103
00:03:32,550 --> 00:03:33,650
MISSY:
Hey!
104
00:03:33,650 --> 00:03:35,850
I just had to go to dinner.
105
00:03:35,850 --> 00:03:38,390
Never at the
dinner table!
106
00:03:38,390 --> 00:03:40,120
You knock that
off, George!
107
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,920
D-Do not retaliate!
108
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:45,920
ALL:
♪ Onward, Christian soldiers ♪
109
00:03:45,930 --> 00:03:50,460
♪ Marching as to war ♪
110
00:03:50,460 --> 00:03:55,330
♪ With the cross of Jesus ♪
111
00:03:55,340 --> 00:04:01,140
♪ Going on before. ♪
112
00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:04,840
In Matthew nine, verse four,
Jesus said,
113
00:04:04,850 --> 00:04:09,080
"Why would you entertain
evil thoughts in your hearts?"
114
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,240
(quietly):
Do you have evil thoughts?
Shh.
115
00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:13,780
I just don't think
this part applies to me.
116
00:04:13,790 --> 00:04:15,890
That's fine.
Be quiet and listen.
117
00:04:15,890 --> 00:04:18,030
I'm only nine years old.
118
00:04:18,030 --> 00:04:20,190
Most evil doesn't start
till puberty.
119
00:04:20,190 --> 00:04:21,190
(clears throat)
120
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,660
Hello.
121
00:04:22,660 --> 00:04:24,890
Philippians 4:8,
122
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:26,770
"Finally, brothers,
whatever is..."
123
00:04:26,770 --> 00:04:28,470
Do you have
evil thoughts?
124
00:04:28,470 --> 00:04:29,810
I'm having one
right now.
125
00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:31,130
Really? What is it?
126
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:33,810
When we get home, I'm gonna
kick your little balls.
127
00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:37,410
You can't.
They haven't descended yet.
128
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,670
Mom?
What?
129
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,010
When should I be expecting
my testicles?
130
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,320
"...whatever
is admirable..."
131
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,550
What is wrong with him?
132
00:04:45,550 --> 00:04:47,210
Nothin' is wrong with him.
133
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:50,050
Now, turn around before
I knock your lights out.
134
00:04:50,060 --> 00:04:52,795
PASTOR: ...think continually
on these things.
135
00:04:52,796 --> 00:04:54,190
A good thought
leads
136
00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:55,790
to a good thing.
137
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,730
You feel it in your body.
You feel it in your...
138
00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:59,930
ADULT SHELDON: My mom was
my Christian soldier.
139
00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:02,130
...leads to evil things
and sits there and...
140
00:05:02,140 --> 00:05:06,080
And for the record,
they descended when I was 15.
141
00:05:10,340 --> 00:05:12,270
(whirring)
142
00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,850
♪ ♪
143
00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:18,490
Shelly, it's your last day
of summer. Go out and enjoy it.
144
00:05:18,490 --> 00:05:20,620
But I have to learn
the student handbook.
145
00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:22,820
Ooh, did you know
extreme hairstyles,
146
00:05:22,820 --> 00:05:25,290
goatees and mustaches
are not allowed?
147
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:28,520
I didn't.
I personally find
that very reassuring.
148
00:05:28,530 --> 00:05:30,930
Look what a beautiful day it is.
149
00:05:32,300 --> 00:05:34,000
(loud whirring)
150
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,760
(tires screeching)
151
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:40,970
(deep barking)
152
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,380
Go play.
153
00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:48,450
"Go play"-- if only
life were that simple.
154
00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:56,680
There, I played.
155
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,480
Hey, Sheldon!
156
00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:59,620
Hello, Billy Sparks.
157
00:05:59,630 --> 00:06:01,800
Hello, Matilda Sparks.
I heard
158
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,030
you're going
to high school tomorrow.
I am.
159
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:06,090
You're going to have
to find someone else
160
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,900
to torment on the playground.
161
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:09,730
"Torment"?
162
00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:12,110
(sighs)
It means to maliciously harass.
163
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:13,770
"Her ass"?
(chuckles)
164
00:06:13,770 --> 00:06:15,100
That's funny.
165
00:06:15,110 --> 00:06:16,980
Well, this was nice.
166
00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:18,050
Hey, doofus!
167
00:06:18,910 --> 00:06:19,740
(squawks)
168
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:21,250
Mom!
169
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:24,620
Good girl.
Mom!
170
00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:26,855
MARY: What am I supposed to do?
His feet are growing.
171
00:06:26,856 --> 00:06:29,150
GEORGE SR.: Why can't
he wear Georgie's old shoes?
172
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:30,330
MARY: He won't
hold your hand.
173
00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,020
You think he's gonna put his feet
in his brother's smelly shoes?
174
00:06:32,030 --> 00:06:34,360
GEORGE SR.: Well, we damn well
better cut back somewhere.
175
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,320
MARY: Will you please keep
your voice down?
176
00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:37,520
(door shuts)
177
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:39,730
They're fighting
about you again.
178
00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:41,960
They're fighting about money.
179
00:06:41,970 --> 00:06:44,470
It's a common argument
in marriages.
180
00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,170
(door opens)
181
00:06:46,170 --> 00:06:47,900
Lights out.
182
00:06:47,910 --> 00:06:49,610
Big day tomorrow.
183
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:51,840
Mom?
184
00:06:51,850 --> 00:06:53,050
Hmm?
185
00:06:53,050 --> 00:06:55,280
Do we have financial problems?
186
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,010
Don't you worry about that.
187
00:06:58,020 --> 00:06:59,420
We are fine.
188
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,990
Now, go to sleep.
189
00:07:01,990 --> 00:07:03,560
(sighs)
190
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,200
She's lying. She just said that
to make you feel better.
191
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,490
Mom doesn't lie.
192
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:10,160
Sure, she thinks
193
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,860
the Earth was made in six days,
194
00:07:11,870 --> 00:07:16,070
but that's 'cause
she's gullible, not a liar.
195
00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:19,800
MISSY:
Mom,
196
00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:22,140
Sheldon can't find his bowtie.
197
00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:25,010
Really? I laid it out for him.
198
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:27,210
Leave it alone, Mary.
He doesn't need a bowtie.
199
00:07:27,210 --> 00:07:29,880
It's his first day of school.
Let him wear what he wants.
200
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,580
SHELDON:
Mom, I can't
find my bowtie!
201
00:07:31,590 --> 00:07:34,560
Dear Lord, why's he
got to wear a bowtie?
202
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,090
Can I drive in with you?
203
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,850
Sure.
204
00:07:38,860 --> 00:07:40,560
Everybody's gonna know
he's your brother.
205
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,160
It's gonna be awful for you.
206
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:43,360
Tell her to shut up.
207
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,160
She's not wrong.
208
00:07:45,170 --> 00:07:46,770
(TV plays quietly)
209
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,705
It's got to be here.
SHELDON:
It's not.
210
00:07:48,706 --> 00:07:51,570
It's not!
Shelly, stay calm.
We'll find it.
211
00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:54,100
My tie is gone!
My tie is gone!
Shelly,
212
00:07:54,110 --> 00:07:55,745
you don't really need a tie.
213
00:07:55,746 --> 00:07:57,840
I have to find my tie.
I have to find my tie.
214
00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,440
Be right back.
215
00:08:00,450 --> 00:08:03,150
Professor Proton wears a bowtie!
216
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,350
George Junior,
217
00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:07,950
give me back that
bowtie right now!
I didn't take it!
218
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,920
Don't you lie to me!
I'm not lying!
219
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,090
We'll see about that.
Stay out of my room!
220
00:08:14,090 --> 00:08:16,060
She's gonna find
your dirty magazines.
221
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:17,360
Shut up!
222
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,660
You are not having a good day.
223
00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:20,940
(sighs)
224
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:26,530
(sighs)
225
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:29,170
Ugh!
226
00:08:29,180 --> 00:08:31,140
(sighs)
227
00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:33,270
Hey. Hey,
he didn't take it.
228
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,740
Then what
happened to it?!
SHELDON:
Help me find my bowtie!
229
00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:37,880
I'll check in
the bathroom!
230
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:39,280
I took it.
231
00:08:39,290 --> 00:08:41,360
Why would you do that?
Mary,
232
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,160
the boy is nine years old
and going into high school.
233
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,530
Isn't that weird enough?
234
00:08:45,530 --> 00:08:47,190
Give it to me.
Come on.
235
00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:48,620
It's not just Sheldon.
236
00:08:48,630 --> 00:08:50,470
Georgie's gonna be
in class with him.
237
00:08:50,470 --> 00:08:52,260
Not in the bathroom!
238
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,130
Give it.
239
00:08:54,130 --> 00:08:56,560
♪ Think about it ♪
240
00:08:56,570 --> 00:09:00,300
♪ There must be higher love ♪
241
00:09:00,310 --> 00:09:05,280
♪ Down in the heart
or hidden in the stars above ♪
242
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,180
♪ Without it... ♪
Would you like
to play a driving game?
243
00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:10,080
Not really. I always lose.
244
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,110
I know. That's why it's fun.
(laughs)
245
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,760
How about license plates
with prime numbers
246
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,160
followed by
a cons...?
Why don't we just talk?
247
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,230
Very well.
248
00:09:18,230 --> 00:09:20,260
You understand
249
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,590
that some people are gonna be
intimidated by you
250
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,200
'cause of how smart you are?
251
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:27,100
Or maybe
they'll recognize my intellect
252
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,730
and make me their leader.
253
00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:31,140
Lord, look after my son.
254
00:09:31,140 --> 00:09:34,410
Don't let him get
stuffed in a gym bag.
255
00:09:34,410 --> 00:09:39,210
♪ Bring me a higher love,
oh, oh ♪
256
00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:41,710
♪ Bring me a higher love... ♪
257
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,380
(distorted sounds
and voices)
258
00:09:44,380 --> 00:09:47,050
(distorted speech)
259
00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:48,380
Oh, dear.
260
00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:49,760
Yeah.
261
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:52,090
That boy has
an exposed tattoo.
262
00:09:52,090 --> 00:09:53,520
He does.
263
00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:54,900
I wonder if he knows
264
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:56,670
that's in violation
of the dress code.
265
00:09:56,670 --> 00:10:01,360
Speaking of which, how
about we lose the bowtie?
266
00:10:01,370 --> 00:10:03,040
Why?
267
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:05,610
Look around, honey. None of the
other kids are wearing one.
268
00:10:05,610 --> 00:10:07,710
Well, perhaps I'll start a fad.
269
00:10:07,710 --> 00:10:09,880
No, you won't.
Please trust Mommy.
270
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,370
All right,
tell you what.
271
00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:14,880
You take it off,
and this weekend,
272
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:17,310
I'll take you to RadioShack.
273
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:18,690
Hmm?
274
00:10:18,690 --> 00:10:20,820
(bell ringing)
275
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:23,150
(indistinct chatter)
276
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:26,990
(growling)
277
00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:28,390
You doing okay?
278
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,460
I guess.
279
00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:31,520
(roars)
280
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,060
I smell ammonia.
281
00:10:33,070 --> 00:10:35,610
They must've done
a thorough cleaning recently.
282
00:10:35,610 --> 00:10:37,260
I like that.
283
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:40,900
MARY: And remember, if anybody
bothers you, what do you say?
284
00:10:40,910 --> 00:10:42,940
My dad's a football coach.
285
00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:45,140
And?
My brother's a football player.
286
00:10:45,150 --> 00:10:46,350
Good.
287
00:10:46,350 --> 00:10:47,680
Hey, Mom, look.
288
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,040
That girl's pregnant.
289
00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:51,580
Congratulations.
290
00:10:55,050 --> 00:10:56,750
(toilet flushing)
291
00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:59,230
Well, that was revolting.
292
00:10:59,230 --> 00:11:00,895
All right.
This is your homeroom.
293
00:11:00,896 --> 00:11:02,460
Do you want me
to go in with you?
294
00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:05,560
No. Although I could've used you
in the restroom.
295
00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:07,700
Okay, well...
296
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,000
You have a good day.
297
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,530
And I'll pick you up
after school,
298
00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:12,110
same door we came in.
299
00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:14,780
Are you crying or having
an allergy attack?
300
00:11:14,780 --> 00:11:17,040
Allergies.
301
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,740
It's probably the ammonia.
302
00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:20,610
Probably.
(sniffles)
303
00:11:20,610 --> 00:11:23,610
Okay. Let the learning begin.
304
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,730
(exhales)
305
00:11:32,730 --> 00:11:37,060
All right, everybody,
my name is Ms. MacElroy.
306
00:11:37,060 --> 00:11:39,230
In addition to being
your homeroom teacher,
307
00:11:39,230 --> 00:11:42,030
I'll be seeing some of you
in my English class,
308
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,040
and some of you
on the volleyball court.
309
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,910
Just to give you
a little history,
310
00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:47,980
I've been here at Medford
for 29 years...
311
00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:49,370
(mouthing)
312
00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:51,380
...I taught some of your
older brothers and sisters,
313
00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:53,520
and sadly,
some of your parents.
314
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:56,610
Not much I haven't seen.
315
00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:58,620
Until today.
316
00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:01,860
I'm sure you're well aware
we have a student with us,
317
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:03,860
who, despite his young age,
318
00:12:03,860 --> 00:12:06,160
is remarkably gifted.
319
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,370
And I expect y'all
to make him feel welcome.
320
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:11,500
Yes, Sheldon?
321
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:14,170
Per the student dress
and grooming code,
322
00:12:14,170 --> 00:12:16,170
this boy's hair is too long,
323
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:18,105
this boy is wearing
sports attire
324
00:12:18,106 --> 00:12:19,470
outside
of a designated area
325
00:12:19,470 --> 00:12:22,000
and this girl's blouse
is diaphanous,
326
00:12:22,010 --> 00:12:24,980
which means
I can see her brassiere.
327
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:27,010
(laughter)
Thank you.
328
00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:28,910
I will take that
into account.
329
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,250
All right.
330
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,410
We have a few minutes
before first period.
331
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:34,520
I need y'all
to fill out these forms.
332
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:35,780
What?
333
00:12:35,790 --> 00:12:38,930
Also in violation of the
grooming code on page 48,
334
00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:40,960
article five, subsection B,
335
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,060
you have a bit of a mustache.
336
00:12:43,060 --> 00:12:44,390
(laughter)
337
00:12:46,030 --> 00:12:47,690
This is a stupid idea.
This boy does not
338
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:48,830
belong in our school.
339
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,770
PETERSEN: Come on Vicky,
it's just the first day.
340
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,870
Why don't we all just take
a deep breath here?
341
00:12:52,870 --> 00:12:55,170
The hell with that. Five
minutes into my math class,
342
00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:56,940
he questioned my credentials.
343
00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:58,670
How am I supposed to control a
classroom when a kid accuses me
344
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:00,610
of being in breach
of the hygiene code?
345
00:13:00,610 --> 00:13:02,380
Well, Hubert, it wouldn't
kill you to shower
346
00:13:02,380 --> 00:13:05,010
a little more often. George,
you want to weigh in here?
347
00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:06,855
Well...
INGRAM:
Oral Roberts University
348
00:13:06,856 --> 00:13:08,110
is a wonderful school.
349
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,950
He said I was intimidated
by his intelligence,
350
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:10,890
and then,
351
00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:13,790
he offered to be my "leader."
352
00:13:13,790 --> 00:13:15,560
(clears throat)
353
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,090
(playing Mozart's Sonata in D)
354
00:13:44,220 --> 00:13:46,420
(piano playing)
355
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,000
(stops playing)
356
00:13:59,010 --> 00:14:00,710
Do you know
this sonata?
357
00:14:00,710 --> 00:14:01,980
No.
358
00:14:01,980 --> 00:14:04,050
How long have you
played the piano?
359
00:14:04,050 --> 00:14:06,840
I don't play piano.
360
00:14:06,850 --> 00:14:09,080
PETERSEN:
George,
361
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,640
you got any thoughts here?
362
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:11,810
I certainly do.
363
00:14:12,990 --> 00:14:15,160
Mary, tell him.
364
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:18,020
It's simple.
We don't have a choice.
365
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:19,490
Well, you gave it a shot.
366
00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:21,590
We wish you luck
with Sheldon elsewhere...
367
00:14:21,590 --> 00:14:23,090
MARY:
No, no, no.
368
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,500
We don't have a choice.
369
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:25,900
He's got to stay here.
370
00:14:25,900 --> 00:14:27,270
We can't afford
371
00:14:27,270 --> 00:14:28,240
private school.
372
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:29,760
I sure can't
homeschool him.
373
00:14:29,770 --> 00:14:32,010
He's doing calculus and
Euclidean something or other.
374
00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:33,210
Euclidean geometry.
375
00:14:33,210 --> 00:14:34,810
Guess where I learned that.
376
00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:37,080
Yeah, yeah, we know.
377
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:38,780
All I care about
is that
378
00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:41,950
my son gets the education
he deserves, so you all
379
00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:43,150
are gonna have to
figure this out.
380
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,890
Coach, can you help me out here,
please?
381
00:14:44,890 --> 00:14:46,310
'Cause I'm dyin'.
382
00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:52,560
I'd rather not.
383
00:14:55,790 --> 00:14:57,520
G minor.
384
00:14:58,730 --> 00:15:00,930
F.
385
00:15:00,930 --> 00:15:03,300
E flat.
386
00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:06,340
C minor.
387
00:15:08,370 --> 00:15:10,100
You have perfect pitch.
388
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,570
Okay.
389
00:15:11,580 --> 00:15:15,250
Sweetheart, you should
really pursue music.
390
00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:18,220
No, thank you.
Musicians take drugs.
391
00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:22,230
Is there a faculty
restroom I could use?
392
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,660
(whistle blows)
393
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:27,160
♪ Ooh... ♪
394
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,290
(grunting)
395
00:15:28,290 --> 00:15:31,420
♪ Ooh... ♪
396
00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:37,610
Cooper, Stinson, you're up.
397
00:15:37,610 --> 00:15:41,170
(laughs) Hey, look,
it's the dumb brother.
398
00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:45,540
Okay.
(blows whistle)
399
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:50,380
(grunting, yelling)
400
00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:51,640
(whistle blowing)
401
00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:53,010
BERGDOFF:
That's enough. Hey.
402
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:53,860
(yelling)
(whistle blowing)
403
00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:56,280
BERGDOFF:
Hey, that's enough!
404
00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:57,730
Hey, hey!
GEORGE SR.:
That's enough!
405
00:15:57,730 --> 00:15:58,990
Georgie.
406
00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:00,720
Georgie! Georgie!
407
00:16:00,730 --> 00:16:02,300
Stop! Stop!
408
00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:07,870
What the hell
is wrong with you?
409
00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:11,840
You okay?
410
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,840
No, I'm not okay.
411
00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:24,250
Where you think you're going?
412
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:26,210
I quit. I don't want
to play anymore!
413
00:16:26,220 --> 00:16:29,590
Since when?
Since right now!
414
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:31,290
All right, what is going on?
415
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,050
What do you think's going on?!
416
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,570
You mean Sheldon?
417
00:16:37,260 --> 00:16:40,190
You can't let that bother you.
418
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,630
It doesn't bother you?
419
00:16:41,630 --> 00:16:43,430
You got called
to the principal's office.
420
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,310
Yeah, that wasn't so great.
421
00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:47,040
I can't be in the same school
as him!
422
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,970
Well, I don't see
what choice you have.
423
00:16:48,980 --> 00:16:52,520
Right. Ever since he could talk,
I quit having any choices.
424
00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:58,780
(groans)
425
00:16:58,790 --> 00:17:00,950
I know it's hard.
426
00:17:00,950 --> 00:17:04,880
I'm telling you, as your coach,
quit your whining,
427
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:07,390
get your uniform on and you
get your ass back out there.
428
00:17:07,390 --> 00:17:10,390
But what about as my dad?
429
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,030
Your dad is
having a bad day.
430
00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:15,460
Listen to your coach.
431
00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:25,000
Can a clock be powered
by an ordinary potato?
432
00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:26,870
I hope so, boys and girls,
433
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:31,080
or this is going to be
a really boring episode.
434
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,250
The supplies you'll need...
435
00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:34,080
Why can't we
watch DuckTales?
436
00:17:34,090 --> 00:17:37,330
'Cause we don't learn anything
watching DuckTales.
437
00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:40,850
It's TV; we aren't
supposed to learn.
438
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,590
...two alligator grips
and, let's see...
439
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,200
Of course, a clock.
440
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,140
Missy, go somewhere else.
I need to talk to your brother.
441
00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:50,960
Why don't you go somewhere else
and I can watch Duck...
442
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,170
Go!
443
00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:55,270
I hate everybody.
444
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,010
It's time for science.
445
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,420
Hey, he was about to power
a clock with a potato.
446
00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:04,150
Not possible.
447
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,210
Now, listen...
Am I in trouble?
448
00:18:06,220 --> 00:18:08,520
No.
449
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,080
Maybe. Just listen.
450
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,250
You're not gonna
make it in this school
451
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,920
if you keep ratting
people out.
452
00:18:15,930 --> 00:18:17,570
But they were breaking
the grooming codes
453
00:18:17,570 --> 00:18:19,190
and the dress codes.
454
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,600
I saw one boy with a T-shirt
that said...
455
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,330
(whispering):
"Bite me."
456
00:18:24,340 --> 00:18:26,040
Yeah. That-that's terrible.
457
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,810
Sheldon, let me tell
you a little story.
458
00:18:28,810 --> 00:18:30,950
Did you ever wonder why we moved
from Galveston to Medford?
459
00:18:30,950 --> 00:18:34,540
No. I tend to wonder
about the bigger questions.
460
00:18:34,550 --> 00:18:36,850
Okay, well, here's why.
461
00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:39,690
Your dad had a real good
coaching job
462
00:18:39,690 --> 00:18:42,090
and I saw some grown-ups
breaking rules.
463
00:18:42,090 --> 00:18:43,890
What'd they do?
464
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:46,020
I-It's kind of complicated,
but...
465
00:18:46,030 --> 00:18:47,900
football coaches aren't allowed
to recruit kids
466
00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:50,960
from other high schools
to play on their teams.
467
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,060
And you told on them?
468
00:18:52,070 --> 00:18:53,600
Yeah. You know what happened?
469
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,400
Justice descended
upon the rule breakers?
470
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,900
I got fired, Sheldon.
471
00:18:59,910 --> 00:19:01,940
And I got a bad
reputation.
472
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,840
Oh. That's why you
drink so much beer.
473
00:19:08,610 --> 00:19:10,280
Just do yourself a favor.
474
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,680
Okay? Go to
school tomorrow,
475
00:19:12,690 --> 00:19:15,120
and mind your own business.
476
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,720
All right?
477
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,390
Dad.
478
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,130
Are you sad that you got fired?
479
00:19:25,460 --> 00:19:28,860
Mostly angry.
480
00:19:28,870 --> 00:19:32,140
But yeah.
481
00:19:32,140 --> 00:19:34,110
Maybe a little sad.
482
00:19:34,134 --> 00:19:39,134
ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
www.PSArips.com
483
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,580
All right, let's say grace.
484
00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:49,680
Thank you, God,
485
00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:52,560
for this food we are
about to receive.
486
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,930
(muffled praying continues)
487
00:20:00,670 --> 00:20:02,370
ADULT SHELDON:
That was the first time
488
00:20:02,370 --> 00:20:04,040
I held my father's hand.
489
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:07,310
MARY: ...our bodies and bless
the hands that prepared it.
490
00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:09,040
Amen.
491
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,470
GEORGIE: Amen.
Amen.
492
00:20:11,580 --> 00:20:16,180
MARY: Hey, George Jr.,
wait your turn.
493
00:20:16,180 --> 00:20:17,810
ADULT SHELDON: I wouldn't
touch my brother's hand
494
00:20:17,820 --> 00:20:19,950
until 17 years later,
495
00:20:19,950 --> 00:20:23,750
thanks to the invention
of Purell.
496
00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:38,010
You know what I find comforting?
497
00:20:38,010 --> 00:20:39,270
What's that, baby?
498
00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:41,770
In a world filled
with uncertainty,
499
00:20:41,770 --> 00:20:43,500
this place will be here forever.
500
00:20:45,340 --> 00:20:48,240
CLERK: Hey, Sheldon,
how you doing?