1 00:00:02,381 --> 00:00:05,415 Look at him. Bres my heart. 2 00:00:05,418 --> 00:00:08,233 Poor little guy, all alone. 3 00:00:08,236 --> 00:00:09,402 I don't see why 4 00:00:09,405 --> 00:00:11,835 - his brother can't sit with him. - Come on, Mary. 5 00:00:11,838 --> 00:00:13,164 When you were in high school, would you have lunch... 6 00:00:13,166 --> 00:00:14,952 - with a nine-year-old? - Yes, I would've. 7 00:00:14,955 --> 00:00:16,522 Well, there's something wrong with you. 8 00:00:16,524 --> 00:00:18,202 I'm gonna keep him company. 9 00:00:18,205 --> 00:00:19,858 Hey, hey, hey, Mary. Mary. 10 00:00:19,860 --> 00:00:22,227 Think this through. Right now the kids 11 00:00:22,229 --> 00:00:23,562 are just ignoring Sheldon. 12 00:00:23,564 --> 00:00:25,764 What happens if he's sitting with his mommy? 13 00:00:25,766 --> 00:00:29,435 They could mistake me for a senior. 14 00:00:29,437 --> 00:00:31,436 Well, I look younger than you. 15 00:00:31,439 --> 00:00:33,072 Just give this time, all right? 16 00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:35,207 - It'll work itself out. - (SIGHS) 17 00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:37,889 ADULT SHELDON: My mother never understood 18 00:00:37,892 --> 00:00:40,679 that I actually enjoyed being alone. 19 00:00:40,681 --> 00:00:44,283 Solitude allowed me to think about important things, 20 00:00:44,285 --> 00:00:46,739 like the effect of gravitational forces 21 00:00:46,742 --> 00:00:50,055 as you approach an event horizon, 22 00:00:50,057 --> 00:00:52,088 as opposed to less important things, 23 00:00:52,091 --> 00:00:55,527 like how many grapes my brother can fit in his mouth. 24 00:00:55,529 --> 00:00:56,895 (MUFFLED) 14! 25 00:00:56,897 --> 00:00:58,897 - Yeah! - (LAUGHTER) 26 00:00:58,899 --> 00:01:00,899 ADULT SHELDON: Jean-Paul Sartre said, 27 00:01:00,901 --> 00:01:02,958 "Hell is other people." 28 00:01:02,961 --> 00:01:04,169 (LAUGHS) 29 00:01:04,172 --> 00:01:08,307 That's humorous because it's true. 30 00:01:08,309 --> 00:01:11,276 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 31 00:01:11,278 --> 00:01:14,012 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 32 00:01:14,014 --> 00:01:16,715 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 33 00:01:16,717 --> 00:01:19,485 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 34 00:01:19,487 --> 00:01:26,044 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 35 00:01:30,564 --> 00:01:32,197 (SIGHS) 36 00:01:32,199 --> 00:01:33,632 Something wrong? 37 00:01:33,634 --> 00:01:36,017 How come math is easy for Sheldon 38 00:01:36,020 --> 00:01:37,285 and hard for me? 39 00:01:37,288 --> 00:01:38,376 I don't know, honey, 40 00:01:38,379 --> 00:01:40,112 but you have your own gifts. 41 00:01:40,115 --> 00:01:41,603 Like what? 42 00:01:41,606 --> 00:01:43,186 Well, like... 43 00:01:46,614 --> 00:01:49,281 you have very pretty hair. 44 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,657 True. 45 00:01:53,065 --> 00:01:54,431 Georgie. 46 00:01:54,433 --> 00:01:56,467 Would you do me a little tiny favor? 47 00:01:56,469 --> 00:01:57,360 Like what? 48 00:01:57,363 --> 00:01:59,269 Tomorrow at lunch, would you mind 49 00:01:59,272 --> 00:02:00,504 sitting with your brother? 50 00:02:00,506 --> 00:02:01,772 Don't do it, Georgie. 51 00:02:01,774 --> 00:02:03,073 You stay out of this. 52 00:02:03,075 --> 00:02:04,708 I ate with him in second grade. 53 00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:06,744 It really hurt my social life. 54 00:02:06,746 --> 00:02:09,204 - (SIGHS) - Sorry, Mom. Can't do it. 55 00:02:10,683 --> 00:02:12,883 Why are you such a brat? 56 00:02:12,885 --> 00:02:15,152 Maybe I'm crying for attention. 57 00:02:15,154 --> 00:02:17,834 This isn't a joke, young lady. 58 00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:20,193 Yes, your brother may be smart, 59 00:02:20,196 --> 00:02:22,626 but he doesn't have a friend in the world. 60 00:02:22,628 --> 00:02:26,497 And I am sorry, but I am very worried about him. 61 00:02:30,503 --> 00:02:33,270 Nice going. You're making Mom a nervous wreck. 62 00:02:33,272 --> 00:02:34,821 What did I do? 63 00:02:34,824 --> 00:02:37,775 You don't have any friends, and she is beside herself. 64 00:02:37,777 --> 00:02:39,276 But I'm fine without friends. 65 00:02:39,278 --> 00:02:40,911 I don't know what to tell you, Sheldon. 66 00:02:40,913 --> 00:02:42,850 She said it's your fault. 67 00:02:42,853 --> 00:02:44,982 I'm going to watch ALF. 68 00:02:44,984 --> 00:02:47,384 ADULT SHELDON: Science fact: 69 00:02:47,386 --> 00:02:49,386 - sisters are the worst. - (DOOR CLOSES) 70 00:02:58,475 --> 00:03:00,381 ADULT SHELDON: When you're three foot ten 71 00:03:00,393 --> 00:03:01,706 and in high school, 72 00:03:01,708 --> 00:03:03,132 getting from point "A" 73 00:03:03,135 --> 00:03:06,520 to point "B" can be a harrowing experience. 74 00:03:06,523 --> 00:03:08,880 ♪ Oh, yeah We are the youth gone wild ♪ 75 00:03:08,882 --> 00:03:10,781 ♪ Whoa ♪ 76 00:03:10,784 --> 00:03:13,566 ♪ Whoa... ♪ 77 00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:16,512 ADULT SHELDON: But it's worth it when point "B" is... 78 00:03:16,515 --> 00:03:18,623 (EXHALES) 79 00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:20,867 the library. 80 00:03:20,870 --> 00:03:24,095 Home to the original information superhighway, 81 00:03:24,097 --> 00:03:26,064 the Dewey Decimal System. 82 00:03:26,066 --> 00:03:27,565 MS. HUTCHINS: Hey there, Sheldon. 83 00:03:27,567 --> 00:03:29,414 What can I get for you today? 84 00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:30,935 Chemistry? 85 00:03:30,938 --> 00:03:33,179 Quantum mechanics? Astronomy? 86 00:03:33,182 --> 00:03:34,831 No, nothing fun today. 87 00:03:34,834 --> 00:03:36,781 I need to learn how to make a friend. 88 00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,487 Aw, honey, you having a hard time 89 00:03:38,490 --> 00:03:39,922 adjusting to high school? 90 00:03:39,925 --> 00:03:42,626 I'm having a hard time adjusting to Earth. 91 00:03:42,629 --> 00:03:44,829 Yeah. You and me both. 92 00:03:47,845 --> 00:03:49,544 Try this. 93 00:03:49,546 --> 00:03:52,414 It's been around a while, but it's still quite popular. 94 00:03:52,416 --> 00:03:54,468 Unlike me, 95 00:03:54,471 --> 00:03:56,671 who's just been around a while. 96 00:03:59,134 --> 00:04:01,168 "How to Win Friends 97 00:04:01,171 --> 00:04:03,125 and Influence People." 98 00:04:03,127 --> 00:04:04,426 This might do it. 99 00:04:04,428 --> 00:04:07,029 "Principle one. 100 00:04:07,031 --> 00:04:10,499 Don't criticize, condemn or complain." 101 00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:12,501 ADULT SHELDON: The three sharpest arrows 102 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,436 in my quiver. 103 00:04:14,438 --> 00:04:16,571 Thus began the greatest challenge 104 00:04:16,573 --> 00:04:17,973 of my young life. 105 00:04:17,975 --> 00:04:19,641 Hello, George. 106 00:04:19,643 --> 00:04:20,945 What? 107 00:04:20,948 --> 00:04:23,976 I do admire your thick head of hair... 108 00:04:23,979 --> 00:04:25,345 George. 109 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:28,250 Thanks. 110 00:04:28,252 --> 00:04:29,818 What's going on? 111 00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:32,454 Well, I'm practicing the principles in this book. 112 00:04:32,456 --> 00:04:35,106 - Why? - Well, I know Mom is concerned 113 00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:36,546 that I don't have any friends, 114 00:04:36,549 --> 00:04:39,494 so I'm determined to remedy the situation. 115 00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:40,896 Oh. 116 00:04:40,898 --> 00:04:42,297 George. 117 00:04:42,299 --> 00:04:44,484 Well, good for you. 118 00:04:44,487 --> 00:04:45,718 Do you feel complimented 119 00:04:45,721 --> 00:04:47,654 when I say your name, George? 120 00:04:47,657 --> 00:04:50,158 The book says you should. George. 121 00:04:50,161 --> 00:04:51,839 I suppose. 122 00:04:51,842 --> 00:04:53,875 Kind of overdoing it a little. 123 00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,625 - Sheldon. - Well, thank you 124 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,095 for your criticism. 125 00:04:57,098 --> 00:04:58,597 It also says I should praise 126 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,881 any improvements that you've made. 127 00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:03,078 Okay. 128 00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:07,222 I'll get back to you. 129 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,156 George. 130 00:05:12,765 --> 00:05:14,077 ADULT SHELDON: On the heels 131 00:05:14,079 --> 00:05:15,915 of that successful beta test, 132 00:05:15,918 --> 00:05:18,418 I decided to practice the Carnegie principles 133 00:05:18,421 --> 00:05:20,249 on someone my own age. 134 00:05:20,251 --> 00:05:22,351 ♪ Hey ♪ 135 00:05:22,353 --> 00:05:25,088 - Hello, Billy Sparks. - Hey, Sheldon. 136 00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:27,434 I am genuinely interested in you 137 00:05:27,437 --> 00:05:30,216 and would like to encourage you to talk about yourself. 138 00:05:30,219 --> 00:05:31,770 Billy Sparks. 139 00:05:31,773 --> 00:05:32,984 Thank you. 140 00:05:39,504 --> 00:05:41,070 You have the floor. 141 00:05:41,072 --> 00:05:42,781 Thank you. 142 00:05:45,043 --> 00:05:47,810 ADULT SHELDON: Looking back, I would've had better luck 143 00:05:47,812 --> 00:05:49,712 making friends with the chickens. 144 00:05:49,714 --> 00:05:51,583 - (BELL RINGS) - Go Wolves. 145 00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:52,648 What? 146 00:05:52,650 --> 00:05:54,584 You're a cheerleader, and by saying... 147 00:05:54,586 --> 00:05:57,086 "Go Wolves," I'm initiating a conversation 148 00:05:57,088 --> 00:05:58,856 about something that interests you. 149 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:02,325 Oh, are you one of those special ed kids? 150 00:06:02,327 --> 00:06:04,325 My mom says I'm special. 151 00:06:04,328 --> 00:06:06,161 Would you like to be friends? 152 00:06:06,164 --> 00:06:07,968 I don't think so. 153 00:06:07,971 --> 00:06:09,932 Are you sure? What if I told you... 154 00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:12,268 I admired your boldly-applied makeup? 155 00:06:12,270 --> 00:06:14,504 ♪ Oh! ♪ 156 00:06:19,156 --> 00:06:21,687 SHELDON: Greetings from stall number one. 157 00:06:21,690 --> 00:06:24,637 As much as I detest that odd-smelling cigarette, 158 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,817 I do applaud 159 00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,917 your rule-breaking bravado. 160 00:06:29,571 --> 00:06:31,237 My name is Sheldon. What's yours? 161 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:32,639 (DOOR CLOSES) 162 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,403 Hello, gentlemen. 163 00:06:34,406 --> 00:06:38,427 Did you watch any sports programs over the weekend? 164 00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:40,661 ♪ That's what I like about... ♪ 165 00:06:40,664 --> 00:06:44,500 Or perhaps did some kissing with girls? 166 00:06:44,502 --> 00:06:47,069 ♪ That's what I like about you... ♪ 167 00:06:47,071 --> 00:06:49,208 Can you hear me? 168 00:06:49,211 --> 00:06:50,465 ♪ Hey! Hey! ♪ 169 00:06:50,468 --> 00:06:53,653 MISSY: 95, 96, 97. 170 00:06:53,656 --> 00:06:54,911 98. 171 00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,647 99, 100. 172 00:06:57,649 --> 00:06:59,615 - You missed 11 numbers. - I don't need 173 00:06:59,617 --> 00:07:02,385 to be good at math. I have beautiful hair. 174 00:07:02,387 --> 00:07:04,817 That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. 175 00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:07,023 Didn't you already read that book? 176 00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:09,137 I'm reading it again. 177 00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:10,126 How come? 178 00:07:10,128 --> 00:07:11,961 I clearly missed something. 179 00:07:11,963 --> 00:07:14,997 I couldn't find one person who wanted to be my friend. 180 00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:16,966 Did you look at the card inside? 181 00:07:16,968 --> 00:07:18,978 Why? 182 00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:21,481 That's just other people who checked out the book. 183 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:24,540 It's a list of losers like you who can't find a friend. 184 00:07:24,542 --> 00:07:25,961 So? 185 00:07:25,964 --> 00:07:28,544 So they're desperate, and you have their names. 186 00:07:28,546 --> 00:07:31,848 That's brilliant. 187 00:07:31,851 --> 00:07:33,583 Mm. 188 00:07:33,585 --> 00:07:36,203 Now, how is it that you can't count? 189 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,979 ♪ Well, can't you see her standing there? ♪ 190 00:07:46,981 --> 00:07:50,234 So your father tells me you've been reading a new book? 191 00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,567 I am. It's about how to make friends. 192 00:07:52,570 --> 00:07:55,087 Is that something you're interested in? 193 00:07:55,089 --> 00:07:57,389 Not really, but Missy told me 194 00:07:57,391 --> 00:07:59,625 it makes you sad that I don't have any. 195 00:07:59,627 --> 00:08:01,393 Oh. 196 00:08:01,395 --> 00:08:03,795 I got to sew that girl's mouth shut. 197 00:08:03,797 --> 00:08:06,131 So how's it going? 198 00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:09,034 Well, the principles in the book didn't work for me at all. 199 00:08:09,036 --> 00:08:11,303 Although Dad does like being called George 200 00:08:11,305 --> 00:08:14,106 over and over again, so you might give that a try. 201 00:08:14,108 --> 00:08:17,109 Baby, you don't have to go to any trouble for me. 202 00:08:17,111 --> 00:08:18,911 But I like doing things for you. 203 00:08:18,913 --> 00:08:20,445 You're a nice lady. 204 00:08:20,447 --> 00:08:22,848 - But if the book's not working... - It isn't. 205 00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:25,717 But I realized if I find the other people 206 00:08:25,719 --> 00:08:28,620 who checked out the book, they'd be looking for friends, too. 207 00:08:28,622 --> 00:08:30,789 That's really smart. 208 00:08:30,791 --> 00:08:33,358 - Missy thought of it. - You're kidding. 209 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,694 I'm as surprised as you are. 210 00:08:35,696 --> 00:08:37,362 ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh. ♪ 211 00:08:37,364 --> 00:08:38,764 (DISTANT CHATTER) 212 00:08:38,766 --> 00:08:40,999 Excuse me, Ms. Ingram? 213 00:08:41,001 --> 00:08:43,012 Sheldon, it's recess. 214 00:08:43,015 --> 00:08:44,970 Go outside, see what it's like. 215 00:08:44,972 --> 00:08:48,106 Are you by any chance Evelyn Ingram? 216 00:08:48,108 --> 00:08:49,718 Yes. 217 00:08:49,721 --> 00:08:52,820 The same Evelyn Ingram who checked out this book? 218 00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:55,179 - And why is that your business? - I just 219 00:08:55,182 --> 00:08:57,257 assumed you were looking to make a friend. 220 00:08:57,260 --> 00:08:58,826 Oh. (LAUGHS) 221 00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:00,661 Well, that was a long time ago. 222 00:09:00,664 --> 00:09:03,722 I had just gotten out of a very difficult relationship. 223 00:09:03,724 --> 00:09:05,257 - With a friend? - Friend. 224 00:09:05,259 --> 00:09:07,960 Ha! I gave that man three years of my life 225 00:09:07,962 --> 00:09:09,494 and my innocence. 226 00:09:09,496 --> 00:09:10,961 I don't know what that means. 227 00:09:10,964 --> 00:09:14,333 It means men are lying dogs only interested in one thing 228 00:09:14,335 --> 00:09:16,513 Well, that's not the dictionary definition. 229 00:09:16,516 --> 00:09:17,610 Mm-hmm. 230 00:09:17,613 --> 00:09:19,297 Always starts the same. 231 00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:23,208 A quick glance across the room, a casual hand on the shoulder, 232 00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:25,005 lunch at Stuckey's. (LAUGHS) 233 00:09:25,008 --> 00:09:26,500 Oh, yeah, it's all romance 234 00:09:26,503 --> 00:09:27,852 and flowers in the beginning... 235 00:09:27,855 --> 00:09:30,721 ADULT SHELDON: The list proved to be a double-edged sword. 236 00:09:30,724 --> 00:09:34,752 It turns out self-help books written in 1936 237 00:09:34,755 --> 00:09:36,799 were only of interest to adults. 238 00:09:36,802 --> 00:09:38,322 You're like, "I'm here because I care. 239 00:09:38,325 --> 00:09:40,525 And by the way, your phone could make calls, too." 240 00:09:40,527 --> 00:09:41,834 Then tries to turn this whole thing around 241 00:09:41,836 --> 00:09:43,328 like it's all about you being needy, 242 00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:44,963 and you're like, "Yes, I have needs! 243 00:09:44,965 --> 00:09:46,798 That's what makes me human!" 244 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,234 ADULT SHELDON: Emotionally troubled adults. 245 00:09:49,236 --> 00:09:51,172 Child, go outside. 246 00:09:54,095 --> 00:09:56,161 Yes, that's my signature. Why do you ask? 247 00:09:56,164 --> 00:09:58,809 I'm seeking people who want to make friends. 248 00:09:58,812 --> 00:10:00,642 I wasn't interested in friends. 249 00:10:00,645 --> 00:10:03,148 I took out that book to help me become school principal. 250 00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:07,019 - Did it work? - Are we sitting in the principal's office? 251 00:10:07,022 --> 00:10:09,213 - No. - And you know why? 252 00:10:09,216 --> 00:10:12,721 Because Victoria MacElroy is not a man! 253 00:10:12,724 --> 00:10:16,145 So to be clear, you're not interested in making friends? 254 00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:20,098 What I'm interested in is in living long enough 255 00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:24,091 to see women no longer treated like second-class citizens. 256 00:10:24,094 --> 00:10:25,708 Well if your goal is a long life, 257 00:10:25,711 --> 00:10:28,906 that chili cheeseburger is a step in the wrong direction. 258 00:10:28,909 --> 00:10:31,710 Food is all I have. 259 00:10:31,712 --> 00:10:33,878 ADULT SHELDON: Like I said, 260 00:10:33,881 --> 00:10:36,244 emotionally troubled adults. 261 00:10:36,247 --> 00:10:38,050 You gonna watch me eat? 262 00:10:38,052 --> 00:10:39,552 Get out of here. 263 00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:43,957 MAN: Everybody told me, 264 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,041 "Hubert, don't date someone from work." 265 00:10:46,044 --> 00:10:48,126 But did I listen? No. 266 00:10:48,128 --> 00:10:49,895 Let me tell you something. She likes to say... 267 00:10:49,897 --> 00:10:51,036 I stole her innocence? 268 00:10:51,039 --> 00:10:52,472 Well, what about my innocence? 269 00:10:52,475 --> 00:10:53,999 I was never the same after we broke up. 270 00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:55,247 ADULT SHELDON: Two years later, 271 00:10:55,250 --> 00:10:57,439 Mr. Givens became the high school principal, 272 00:10:57,442 --> 00:11:01,005 which might be why Ms. MacElroy became morbidly obese. 273 00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:03,608 I had the brains, I had the charm, and I don't like to brag, 274 00:11:03,610 --> 00:11:05,544 but I was pretty easy on the eyes back then. 275 00:11:05,546 --> 00:11:07,612 That woman got herself one heck of a package. 276 00:11:07,614 --> 00:11:09,715 But some people don't want to be satisfied. 277 00:11:11,481 --> 00:11:13,151 Is that any good? 278 00:11:13,153 --> 00:11:14,892 I'm afraid not. 279 00:11:14,895 --> 00:11:16,888 I failed to make a single friend. 280 00:11:16,890 --> 00:11:19,758 That sucks. I have a tough time making friends, too. 281 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,403 The worst part is, it was important to my mom. 282 00:11:22,406 --> 00:11:25,263 My parents pressure me about making friends all the time. 283 00:11:25,265 --> 00:11:28,433 So you understand what I'm going through. 284 00:11:28,435 --> 00:11:31,203 Oh, I read that book. It's excellent. 285 00:11:31,205 --> 00:11:32,721 Are you into rocketry? 286 00:11:32,724 --> 00:11:35,006 I started with water propulsion, 287 00:11:35,008 --> 00:11:36,808 worked my way up to solid fuel, 288 00:11:36,810 --> 00:11:39,511 then went back to water after I set our garage on fire. 289 00:11:39,513 --> 00:11:42,347 - Nice. - I also tried to get some uranium 290 00:11:42,349 --> 00:11:45,917 and build an atomic engine, but that stuff's hard to find. 291 00:11:45,919 --> 00:11:48,754 Probably for the best. 292 00:11:48,756 --> 00:11:50,956 Well, good luck on your quest to find a friend. 293 00:11:50,958 --> 00:11:52,513 You, too. 294 00:11:58,399 --> 00:12:01,450 If you haven't found one yet, I have good news. 295 00:12:04,104 --> 00:12:07,005 Mom, what do you know about the drug Prozac? 296 00:12:07,007 --> 00:12:08,407 Not much. 297 00:12:08,409 --> 00:12:11,042 Supposed to make people happier. Why? 298 00:12:11,044 --> 00:12:12,520 I was just thinking 299 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,679 some of my teachers might benefit from it. 300 00:12:14,681 --> 00:12:16,966 Speaking of which, 301 00:12:16,969 --> 00:12:19,217 you'll be happy to know I made a friend today. 302 00:12:19,219 --> 00:12:21,520 Oh. 303 00:12:21,522 --> 00:12:23,455 Well, that's nice. 304 00:12:23,457 --> 00:12:25,624 But, as I said, this isn't for me. 305 00:12:25,626 --> 00:12:28,067 It's for you. 306 00:12:28,070 --> 00:12:29,528 He made a friend! 307 00:12:29,530 --> 00:12:30,591 He did it! 308 00:12:30,594 --> 00:12:33,532 Our little boy has got a friend. 309 00:12:33,534 --> 00:12:35,367 - Who is it? - Who cares? 310 00:12:35,369 --> 00:12:37,502 It's a human being. It's a warm body. 311 00:12:37,504 --> 00:12:39,137 - (KNOCKS) - SHELDON: Mom? 312 00:12:39,139 --> 00:12:40,272 Yes, honey? 313 00:12:40,274 --> 00:12:42,174 - Can I come in? - Of course. 314 00:12:42,176 --> 00:12:43,875 Be cool. 315 00:12:44,711 --> 00:12:46,445 - What's up, sweetie? - I was wondering 316 00:12:46,447 --> 00:12:49,076 when I could continue my rocketry hobby. 317 00:12:49,079 --> 00:12:51,088 Uh, Sheldon, we've been through this. 318 00:12:51,091 --> 00:12:53,151 You can build them. You just can't launch them. 319 00:12:53,153 --> 00:12:54,953 But launching them is the fun part. 320 00:12:54,955 --> 00:12:56,288 Tell that to the family of squirrels... 321 00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:57,456 who died in the fire. 322 00:12:57,458 --> 00:12:58,763 Okay. 323 00:12:58,766 --> 00:13:01,193 It was just something I was hoping to do with my new friend. 324 00:13:01,195 --> 00:13:02,494 Hang on. 325 00:13:02,496 --> 00:13:04,010 Uh, yes. 326 00:13:04,013 --> 00:13:05,063 It's fine. 327 00:13:05,065 --> 00:13:06,064 Ban is lifted. 328 00:13:06,066 --> 00:13:07,705 - Mary... - It's for his friend. 329 00:13:07,708 --> 00:13:09,501 He's got a friend. 330 00:13:09,974 --> 00:13:11,837 Besides, those could have been rats. 331 00:13:11,839 --> 00:13:13,405 Their bodies were so badly burned. 332 00:13:13,407 --> 00:13:16,541 I thought we were being cool, but okay. 333 00:13:16,543 --> 00:13:18,322 Hey, here's an idea. 334 00:13:18,325 --> 00:13:20,745 Why don't you invite your new buddy over for dinner? 335 00:13:20,747 --> 00:13:22,346 - Why? - Well, honey, 336 00:13:22,349 --> 00:13:25,650 um, that is what friends do. 337 00:13:25,652 --> 00:13:27,452 My mother asked me to ask you 338 00:13:27,454 --> 00:13:29,321 if you'd like to join us for dinner. 339 00:13:29,323 --> 00:13:32,630 - Why? - I was hoping you'd know. 340 00:13:38,622 --> 00:13:40,088 MARY: He's here! 341 00:13:40,091 --> 00:13:42,767 Everybody, stay calm! Just a normal day, 342 00:13:42,769 --> 00:13:45,283 - just a normal dinner. - MISSY: Can I eat in front of the TV? 343 00:13:45,286 --> 00:13:47,294 MARY: No, you can eat in front of Sheldon's friend. 344 00:13:47,297 --> 00:13:49,450 - MISSY: Aw, fudge. - I know what "fudge" means, 345 00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,642 and you are right on the edge, young lady. 346 00:13:51,645 --> 00:13:54,333 Welcome. 347 00:14:03,156 --> 00:14:04,890 GEORGE SR.: So, uh... 348 00:14:04,892 --> 00:14:07,058 Tam. What kind of name is that? 349 00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:08,697 Vietnamese. Sir. 350 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:10,929 Sure. You know, I spent a little time over there. 351 00:14:10,931 --> 00:14:12,614 Army. 352 00:14:14,968 --> 00:14:17,102 Your mom's name isn't Kim-Lee, is it? 353 00:14:17,104 --> 00:14:18,637 No. Sir. 354 00:14:18,639 --> 00:14:20,238 Good. 355 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:23,008 I mean, you know, it's a small country. 356 00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:24,543 (CHUCKLES) So... 357 00:14:24,545 --> 00:14:26,213 Mary, how's that food coming? 358 00:14:26,216 --> 00:14:27,314 MARY: Almost. 359 00:14:27,317 --> 00:14:29,414 So, Vietnam, like in Rambo. 360 00:14:29,416 --> 00:14:31,516 - Yes. - That's a cool movie. 361 00:14:31,518 --> 00:14:32,450 Yes. 362 00:14:32,452 --> 00:14:33,552 Are you in it? 363 00:14:33,554 --> 00:14:35,687 - No. - Hmm. 364 00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:38,723 Why would you think you knew his mom? 365 00:14:38,725 --> 00:14:40,692 MARY: All right, Tam. 366 00:14:40,694 --> 00:14:43,666 I decided I was gonna make you a real Texas dinner. 367 00:14:43,669 --> 00:14:45,230 Barbecued chicken and brisket. 368 00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:46,216 Thank you. 369 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,933 Well, I figured you were probably tired... 370 00:14:47,935 --> 00:14:49,834 of stuff wiggling around on your plate. 371 00:14:49,836 --> 00:14:51,997 Okay, let's say grace. 372 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,705 Now, Tam, when I say "Jesus," 373 00:14:53,707 --> 00:14:55,774 feel free to say the word "Buddha" in your head. 374 00:14:55,776 --> 00:14:56,975 I'm actually Catholic. 375 00:14:56,977 --> 00:14:59,711 Oh. Well, that's too bad. 376 00:14:59,713 --> 00:15:01,596 Thank you, God, for this food, 377 00:15:01,599 --> 00:15:03,138 and bless the hands that prepared it. 378 00:15:03,141 --> 00:15:06,116 And thank you so much for Sheldon's new friend. 379 00:15:06,119 --> 00:15:08,486 ALL: Amen. 380 00:15:08,488 --> 00:15:11,189 So, Tam, tell us about your family. 381 00:15:11,191 --> 00:15:12,763 What brings y'all to Texas? 382 00:15:12,766 --> 00:15:14,856 Well, after the American War... 383 00:15:14,859 --> 00:15:16,161 You mean the Vietnam War. 384 00:15:16,163 --> 00:15:17,662 We call it the American War. 385 00:15:17,664 --> 00:15:19,013 - Hmm. - Anyway, 386 00:15:19,016 --> 00:15:20,664 after the war, my father was sent 387 00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:22,100 to a reeducation camp... 388 00:15:22,102 --> 00:15:23,511 because he fought on the wrong side. 389 00:15:23,513 --> 00:15:24,569 You mean our side. 390 00:15:24,571 --> 00:15:27,172 I was trying to be nice. 391 00:15:27,174 --> 00:15:28,927 So, for many years, 392 00:15:28,930 --> 00:15:30,663 my mother and my sisters and I 393 00:15:30,666 --> 00:15:32,010 were very poor... 394 00:15:32,013 --> 00:15:34,346 and very often didn't have much to eat. 395 00:15:34,348 --> 00:15:36,466 Then, when he was released... 396 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,550 What'd they teach him at the reeducation camp? 397 00:15:38,552 --> 00:15:39,784 How to be a communist. 398 00:15:39,786 --> 00:15:41,753 Cool, like in Rambo. 399 00:15:41,755 --> 00:15:42,921 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 400 00:15:42,923 --> 00:15:44,142 When he was released, 401 00:15:44,145 --> 00:15:45,991 we escaped on a small boat 402 00:15:45,993 --> 00:15:49,561 and spent many weeks at sea dodging Cambodian pirates 403 00:15:49,563 --> 00:15:51,440 until we reached Thailand. 404 00:15:51,443 --> 00:15:54,377 Oh, that's supposed to be a beautiful country. 405 00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:56,635 - Lovely beaches. - TAM: I wouldn't know. 406 00:15:56,637 --> 00:15:58,803 We were forced to live in a refugee camp, 407 00:15:58,805 --> 00:16:02,044 where the only thing we had to eat were pigeons and rats. 408 00:16:02,047 --> 00:16:04,138 Ha! That's a job for hot sauce. 409 00:16:05,872 --> 00:16:07,255 Finally, 410 00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:09,214 we were allowed to come to United States 411 00:16:09,216 --> 00:16:10,815 and start over in Galveston. 412 00:16:10,817 --> 00:16:13,785 My father saved money and bought his own shrimp boat. 413 00:16:13,787 --> 00:16:16,488 There's a happy ending. Huh? 414 00:16:16,490 --> 00:16:18,623 See, kids? When the going gets tough, 415 00:16:18,625 --> 00:16:20,992 - America provides. - TAM: It did. 416 00:16:20,994 --> 00:16:23,760 Until the Ku Klux Klan burned our boat... 417 00:16:23,763 --> 00:16:25,430 and chased us away. 418 00:16:25,432 --> 00:16:27,899 You gonna put a good spin on that one? 419 00:16:27,901 --> 00:16:29,763 So we came to Medford... 420 00:16:29,766 --> 00:16:31,770 and opened up a convenience store. 421 00:16:31,772 --> 00:16:34,205 My parents work 16 hours a day, 422 00:16:34,207 --> 00:16:35,940 seven days a week 423 00:16:35,942 --> 00:16:38,122 for very little money. 424 00:16:43,606 --> 00:16:45,434 Well, that was depressing. 425 00:16:55,554 --> 00:16:57,787 I don't understand why it didn't launch. 426 00:16:57,790 --> 00:16:59,190 Me, neither. 427 00:16:59,193 --> 00:17:02,525 Evil Nazi scientists did it 50 years ago. 428 00:17:02,527 --> 00:17:04,059 How hard could it be? 429 00:17:04,061 --> 00:17:05,361 (DOORBELL RINGS) 430 00:17:08,432 --> 00:17:10,266 Can I help you? 431 00:17:10,268 --> 00:17:12,768 Sorry to bother you, ma'am. FBI. 432 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:14,803 We're looking for a Sheldon Lee Cooper. 433 00:17:14,805 --> 00:17:17,026 George! 434 00:17:17,029 --> 00:17:18,228 GEORGE SR.: I'm on the can. 435 00:17:18,231 --> 00:17:20,342 - Now! - (DOOR OPENS) 436 00:17:20,344 --> 00:17:23,395 - What? - These gentlemen 437 00:17:23,398 --> 00:17:26,048 are with the FBI. They want to talk to Sheldon. 438 00:17:26,050 --> 00:17:27,750 What? 439 00:17:27,752 --> 00:17:29,169 We... Uh... 440 00:17:29,172 --> 00:17:30,986 Y-You fellas must have made a mistake. 441 00:17:30,988 --> 00:17:32,454 Sheldon's nine. 442 00:17:32,456 --> 00:17:33,956 Well, someone living at this address 443 00:17:33,958 --> 00:17:36,325 recently called a mining operation in Canada... 444 00:17:36,327 --> 00:17:37,526 and tried to buy uranium. 445 00:17:37,528 --> 00:17:39,638 Okay, maybe it's not a mistake. 446 00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:41,041 It's ridiculous. 447 00:17:41,051 --> 00:17:43,013 Let's just go talk to him. Huh? 448 00:17:43,016 --> 00:17:45,433 He's just a little, itty-bitty thing. 449 00:17:45,436 --> 00:17:46,769 Really, he's harmless. 450 00:17:50,605 --> 00:17:52,572 SHELDON: Sorry! 451 00:17:52,575 --> 00:17:54,341 He's in the garage. 452 00:17:56,059 --> 00:18:01,872 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com --