1 00:00:00,257 --> 00:00:02,599 (GEORGE MICHAEL'S "FAITH" PLAYING) 2 00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:04,535 (TAPE REWINDING) 3 00:00:04,537 --> 00:00:06,789 ♫.. Faith, faith, faith ..♫ 4 00:00:06,792 --> 00:00:08,172 ♫.. Baby ..♫ 5 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:11,108 ♫.. I know you're asking me to stay ..♫ 6 00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:13,577 ♫.. Say please, please, please don't go away ..♫ 7 00:00:13,579 --> 00:00:15,713 ♫.. You say I'm giving you the blues ..♫ 8 00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:17,548 ♫.. Maybe ..♫ 9 00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:18,616 ♫.. Huh! ..♫ 10 00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:19,656 ♫.. You mean ..♫ 11 00:00:19,659 --> 00:00:21,252 - ♫.. Every word you say ..♫ - (POPPING LOUDLY) 12 00:00:21,254 --> 00:00:22,553 ♫.. Can't help but think ..♫ 13 00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:23,788 ♫.. Of yesterday ..♫ 14 00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:25,689 ♫.. And another who tied me down ..♫ 15 00:00:25,691 --> 00:00:26,891 ♫.. To lover boy rules... ..♫ 16 00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:29,293 ADULT SHELDON : My father took pride in saying 17 00:00:29,295 --> 00:00:31,729 that he ran our house like a tight ship. 18 00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:33,998 The ship got a lot looser when 19 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,934 - my meemaw came over to babysit. - (FIRECRACKER POPS) 20 00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:40,404 I bet a nickel. 21 00:00:40,406 --> 00:00:42,506 Hang on there a minute, moon pie. 22 00:00:42,508 --> 00:00:44,132 I want to teach you somethin'. 23 00:00:44,135 --> 00:00:45,442 Look at your cards, 24 00:00:45,444 --> 00:00:47,411 and then look in the mirror. 25 00:00:47,413 --> 00:00:49,046 Hey, I'm smiling. 26 00:00:49,048 --> 00:00:50,284 - (FIRECRACKER POPS) - Uh-huh. 27 00:00:50,287 --> 00:00:51,286 And what does that 28 00:00:51,289 --> 00:00:53,132 tell me about your cards? 29 00:00:53,135 --> 00:00:54,535 That I like them? 30 00:00:54,538 --> 00:00:56,353 Attaboy. Now... 31 00:00:56,355 --> 00:00:58,200 look at my face. 32 00:00:58,203 --> 00:00:59,456 - (FIRECRACKER POPS) - Tell me 33 00:00:59,458 --> 00:01:01,058 what you see. 34 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:02,126 That you're old. 35 00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:04,261 It's a good thing I love you. 36 00:01:04,263 --> 00:01:06,864 I'm gonna look at my cards again. 37 00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:10,034 You're unhappy. 38 00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:11,421 Which means...? 39 00:01:11,424 --> 00:01:13,037 You don't have good cards. 40 00:01:13,039 --> 00:01:14,471 - Mm-hmm. - (FIRECRACKER POPS) 41 00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:16,540 So... 42 00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:18,812 I'm gonna see your nickel... 43 00:01:18,815 --> 00:01:21,645 - and raise you a quarter. - Quarter? 44 00:01:21,647 --> 00:01:23,147 You can fold. 45 00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:26,383 No. I have good cards, you have bad cards. 46 00:01:26,385 --> 00:01:27,685 I'm in. 47 00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:30,582 - Nines and fives. - Mm. 48 00:01:30,585 --> 00:01:32,556 That's too bad. 49 00:01:32,558 --> 00:01:34,692 Three queens. You lose! 50 00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:36,393 - (LAUGHING) - What? 51 00:01:36,395 --> 00:01:37,795 But you weren't happy. 52 00:01:37,797 --> 00:01:40,825 - I made you think I was unhappy. - But that's lying. 53 00:01:40,828 --> 00:01:42,382 You lied to your moon pie. 54 00:01:42,385 --> 00:01:44,652 I bluffed my moon pie. 55 00:01:46,739 --> 00:01:48,953 - Do people know about this? - Sheldon, 56 00:01:48,956 --> 00:01:50,674 what's on a person's face 57 00:01:50,676 --> 00:01:53,477 is not always what's in their heart. 58 00:01:53,479 --> 00:01:55,684 Well, this changes everything. 59 00:01:55,687 --> 00:01:57,171 How do you know who to trust? 60 00:01:57,174 --> 00:01:58,415 You don't. 61 00:01:58,417 --> 00:02:01,452 That's what makes life interesting. 62 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:05,371 ADULT SHELDON : Meemaw liked to teach me things that kept me awake at night. 63 00:02:05,374 --> 00:02:06,707 MARY : Mom, we're home! 64 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,025 In here! 65 00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:09,593 What's he doing up? 66 00:02:09,595 --> 00:02:10,861 Losin'. 67 00:02:10,863 --> 00:02:12,196 (FIRECRACKER POPS) 68 00:02:12,198 --> 00:02:13,564 Hell is that? 69 00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:15,232 I sent Georgie on a beer run, 70 00:02:15,234 --> 00:02:17,501 and tipped him with firecrackers. 71 00:02:17,503 --> 00:02:18,500 Oh, Mom. 72 00:02:18,503 --> 00:02:20,317 - (DOOR OPENS) - Was I supposed to stiff him? 73 00:02:20,955 --> 00:02:24,557 I ate so much candy! 74 00:02:26,245 --> 00:02:28,545 Okay. 75 00:02:28,547 --> 00:02:30,281 They're all yours. 76 00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:31,916 (CHUCKLES) 77 00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:33,450 (FIRECRACKER POPS) 78 00:02:33,452 --> 00:02:36,153 - ♫.. Faith, faith, faith. ..♫ - (GROANS) 79 00:02:36,155 --> 00:02:39,256 ♫.. Nobody else is stronger than I am ..♫ 80 00:02:39,258 --> 00:02:42,026 ♫.. Yesterday I moved a mountain ..♫ 81 00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:44,461 ♫.. I bet I could be your hero ..♫ 82 00:02:44,463 --> 00:02:47,606 ♫.. I am a mighty little man ..♫ 83 00:02:55,152 --> 00:02:57,851 Sometimes people say to me, "Pastor Jeff, 84 00:02:57,854 --> 00:02:59,621 how do you know there's a God?" 85 00:02:59,624 --> 00:03:02,170 And I say, "It's simple math. 86 00:03:02,173 --> 00:03:04,647 God either exists or he doesn't." 87 00:03:04,650 --> 00:03:06,182 (CHUCKLES): So let's be cynical. 88 00:03:06,184 --> 00:03:09,185 Worst-case scenario, there's a 50-50 chance. 89 00:03:09,187 --> 00:03:11,320 And I like those odds. 90 00:03:11,322 --> 00:03:12,822 That's wrong. 91 00:03:12,824 --> 00:03:14,924 Shelly, put your hand down. 92 00:03:14,926 --> 00:03:16,359 Sorry. Please continue. 93 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,092 (CHUCKLES) It's okay, Mary. 94 00:03:18,095 --> 00:03:19,829 I-It's Sheldon, right? 95 00:03:19,831 --> 00:03:21,931 - Yes, sir. - Well, Sheldon, 96 00:03:21,933 --> 00:03:24,467 why don't you come on up here and tell me how I'm wrong. 97 00:03:24,469 --> 00:03:26,001 - No. - Okay. 98 00:03:26,003 --> 00:03:28,371 (CHUCKLES) Let's give him a hand, everybody. 99 00:03:28,373 --> 00:03:31,374 - Mm. - What's happening? 100 00:03:37,265 --> 00:03:39,569 Shelly's gonna eat him alive. (CHUCKLES) 101 00:03:39,572 --> 00:03:40,556 PASTOR JEFF : So... 102 00:03:40,559 --> 00:03:41,856 you were saying? 103 00:03:41,859 --> 00:03:44,994 You've confused possibilities with probabilities. 104 00:03:44,997 --> 00:03:46,730 According to your analogy, when I go home 105 00:03:46,733 --> 00:03:50,058 I might find a million dollars on my bed or I might not. 106 00:03:50,061 --> 00:03:52,228 In what universe is that 50-50? 107 00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:53,596 (CONGREGATION MURMURING) 108 00:03:53,598 --> 00:03:55,064 PASTOR JEFF : So what do you think 109 00:03:55,066 --> 00:03:57,266 the odds are that God exists? 110 00:03:57,268 --> 00:03:58,901 I think they're zero. 111 00:03:58,903 --> 00:04:00,532 I believe in science. 112 00:04:00,535 --> 00:04:02,004 (CONGREGATION OOH'ING, MURMURING) 113 00:04:02,006 --> 00:04:03,305 PASTOR JEFF : So you don't think 114 00:04:03,307 --> 00:04:05,975 science and religion can go hand in hand? 115 00:04:05,977 --> 00:04:08,744 Science is facts, religion is faith. 116 00:04:08,746 --> 00:04:10,713 - I prefer facts. - Mm. 117 00:04:10,715 --> 00:04:12,381 I understand that. 118 00:04:12,383 --> 00:04:13,983 Here's a cool fact for ya. 119 00:04:13,985 --> 00:04:15,651 A lot of famous scientists 120 00:04:15,653 --> 00:04:17,219 believed in God. 121 00:04:17,221 --> 00:04:18,754 Isaac Newton. 122 00:04:18,756 --> 00:04:20,089 Albert Einstein. 123 00:04:20,091 --> 00:04:22,191 Even Charles Darwin. 124 00:04:22,193 --> 00:04:23,859 (CONGREGATION AH'ING) 125 00:04:23,861 --> 00:04:27,103 So Darwin's right about God and wrong about evolution? 126 00:04:27,106 --> 00:04:28,361 Now you're gettin' it. 127 00:04:28,364 --> 00:04:30,030 Let's give it up for Sheldon, everybody. 128 00:04:30,033 --> 00:04:32,734 What a good sport. Oh. 129 00:04:32,737 --> 00:04:34,703 (ORGAN PLAYING) 130 00:04:34,705 --> 00:04:36,595 ADULT SHELDON : But I wasn't a good sport. 131 00:04:36,598 --> 00:04:38,738 At that moment, I vowed to come back 132 00:04:38,741 --> 00:04:42,314 the following Sunday and destroy Pastor Jeff. 133 00:04:42,317 --> 00:04:44,183 (KNOCKING) 134 00:04:52,523 --> 00:04:54,557 Uh, hello, Mr. Cooper. 135 00:04:54,559 --> 00:04:55,958 Is Missy home? 136 00:04:55,961 --> 00:04:58,353 Hello, Billy. No, she's at church. 137 00:04:59,597 --> 00:05:02,231 I brought her eggs from my chickens. 138 00:05:02,233 --> 00:05:04,033 I see that. 139 00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:07,369 You can boil them or scramble them. 140 00:05:07,372 --> 00:05:09,005 Okay. 141 00:05:10,842 --> 00:05:13,008 I like fried. 142 00:05:13,011 --> 00:05:14,815 Okay. 143 00:05:16,514 --> 00:05:19,415 I don't like poached. 144 00:05:20,251 --> 00:05:22,218 Okay. 145 00:05:23,654 --> 00:05:25,821 Thank you for your time. 146 00:05:30,228 --> 00:05:31,894 Okay. 147 00:05:32,997 --> 00:05:36,098 MARY : You want me to cook those eggs for you, baby? 148 00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,967 No. They're a gift. 149 00:05:37,969 --> 00:05:39,595 Sorry. 150 00:05:39,598 --> 00:05:41,298 He even wrote me a note. 151 00:05:41,301 --> 00:05:45,441 "Eggs from your secret admirer. Billy." 152 00:05:45,443 --> 00:05:47,343 GEORGE SR. (CALLS): Mary, can you come in here? 153 00:05:47,345 --> 00:05:48,711 I'm cookin'. 154 00:05:48,713 --> 00:05:50,946 I really need you to come in here. 155 00:05:50,948 --> 00:05:52,751 What on earth? 156 00:05:54,329 --> 00:05:55,618 Uh-oh. 157 00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:56,785 What? 158 00:05:56,787 --> 00:05:58,153 Listen to this. 159 00:05:58,155 --> 00:06:00,222 "French philosopher, 160 00:06:00,232 --> 00:06:03,084 mathematician and physicist, Blaise Pascal, 161 00:06:03,087 --> 00:06:06,595 argued a rational person should believe God exists 162 00:06:06,597 --> 00:06:09,398 because you have everything to gain if you're right, 163 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,800 and nothing to lose if you're wrong." 164 00:06:11,802 --> 00:06:13,697 Sounds right. 165 00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:15,370 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 166 00:06:15,373 --> 00:06:16,739 MARY : Meemaw is coming over 167 00:06:16,741 --> 00:06:18,807 to watch you... I gotta go. 168 00:06:18,809 --> 00:06:21,654 - Where? - Daddy's not feeling good. 169 00:06:21,657 --> 00:06:23,412 We're gonna go see a doctor. 170 00:06:23,414 --> 00:06:25,509 - Is he okay? - He's gonna be fine. 171 00:06:25,512 --> 00:06:26,613 You just sit right there. 172 00:06:26,616 --> 00:06:28,433 Meemaw's on her way over to cook you dinner. 173 00:06:28,436 --> 00:06:29,832 Can we come with you? 174 00:06:29,835 --> 00:06:32,269 No. Just stay right there, don't move. 175 00:06:32,272 --> 00:06:34,405 George, let's go. 176 00:06:44,773 --> 00:06:46,773 How long are we supposed to sit here? 177 00:06:46,775 --> 00:06:48,341 I don't know. 178 00:06:48,343 --> 00:06:49,794 She said don't move. 179 00:06:49,797 --> 00:06:52,000 She was very clear. 180 00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:55,436 Hope I don't have to go to the bathroom. 181 00:06:55,439 --> 00:06:57,139 (DOOR OPENS) 182 00:06:57,852 --> 00:06:59,528 Don't worry! 183 00:06:59,531 --> 00:07:01,012 Meemaw's here! 184 00:07:01,015 --> 00:07:03,090 Everything's under control! 185 00:07:03,093 --> 00:07:04,657 Oh. (CHUCKLES) 186 00:07:04,659 --> 00:07:06,492 We haven't had dinner yet. 187 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:07,593 Really? 188 00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,829 (GROANS) 189 00:07:09,831 --> 00:07:11,812 I don't feel like cookin'. 190 00:07:16,382 --> 00:07:18,749 I think my husband's having a heart attack! 191 00:07:19,574 --> 00:07:21,741 NURSE : I need an RRT and a crash cart. 192 00:07:21,743 --> 00:07:24,110 Over here. 193 00:07:24,112 --> 00:07:27,049 Sir, are you having chest pains right now? 194 00:07:27,052 --> 00:07:28,301 Yeah, a little bit. 195 00:07:28,304 --> 00:07:30,583 Any numbness or pain in your arms? 196 00:07:30,585 --> 00:07:31,976 Maybe this one. 197 00:07:31,979 --> 00:07:33,219 Shortness of breath? 198 00:07:33,221 --> 00:07:34,320 Enough questions. 199 00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:35,822 He's a fat, middle-aged man with chest pains. 200 00:07:35,824 --> 00:07:36,823 Do something! 201 00:07:36,825 --> 00:07:39,325 - All right. - Sorry about the fat, honey. 202 00:07:39,327 --> 00:07:41,427 You said you liked me this way. 203 00:07:41,429 --> 00:07:43,329 (GRUNTS) 204 00:07:43,331 --> 00:07:45,064 Is Daddy gonna be okay? 205 00:07:45,066 --> 00:07:47,166 Oh, yeah. Your Pop-Pop used to have 206 00:07:47,168 --> 00:07:49,402 little chest pains all the time. 207 00:07:49,404 --> 00:07:51,404 Didn't he die of a heart attack? 208 00:07:51,406 --> 00:07:54,307 Well, for insurance purposes, yes. 209 00:07:55,310 --> 00:07:56,776 (DOOR OPENS) 210 00:07:56,778 --> 00:07:58,845 Hey. What's goin' on? 211 00:07:58,847 --> 00:08:00,646 Dad's in the hospital. 212 00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,726 What? Why's Dad in the hospital? 213 00:08:02,729 --> 00:08:04,504 - He's gonna be fine. - He had chest pains. 214 00:08:04,507 --> 00:08:05,859 He's gonna be fine. 215 00:08:05,862 --> 00:08:07,996 What are we doin'? Why aren't we going to the hospital? 216 00:08:07,998 --> 00:08:09,755 Nobody's goin' nowhere. 217 00:08:09,758 --> 00:08:11,290 We're just gonna stay calm, 218 00:08:11,292 --> 00:08:13,793 have a nice dinner, and wait for your mama to call 219 00:08:13,795 --> 00:08:15,294 and tell us what's what. 220 00:08:15,296 --> 00:08:16,937 I'm not hungry. 221 00:08:19,968 --> 00:08:22,735 What did you mean by "insurance purposes"? 222 00:08:22,737 --> 00:08:24,453 Just eat. 223 00:08:25,907 --> 00:08:28,074 (LAUGHTER ON TV) 224 00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:35,181 What kind of Texan drinks pink wine? 225 00:08:35,183 --> 00:08:37,383 (PHONE RINGS) 226 00:08:40,455 --> 00:08:41,988 Hello. 227 00:08:41,990 --> 00:08:43,556 Hi, Mom. Kids okay? 228 00:08:43,558 --> 00:08:45,591 Yeah, they're fine. How's George? 229 00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:48,261 I don't know. They're running tests. 230 00:08:48,263 --> 00:08:51,631 Well, don't you worry about us. (CHUCKLES) 231 00:08:51,633 --> 00:08:54,534 Everything's under control here. 232 00:08:54,536 --> 00:08:56,135 Okay. 233 00:08:56,137 --> 00:08:58,504 I'll call you when I know more. 234 00:08:58,506 --> 00:09:00,406 How you holdin' up? 235 00:09:00,408 --> 00:09:02,508 I guess I'm okay. 236 00:09:02,510 --> 00:09:04,997 Well, George is gonna pull through this, honey. 237 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,113 I guarantee it. 238 00:09:07,115 --> 00:09:09,015 Thanks, Mom. 239 00:09:09,017 --> 00:09:10,783 Thanks for bein' there. 240 00:09:10,785 --> 00:09:12,418 You bet. 241 00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:14,223 I'll call you later. 242 00:09:14,226 --> 00:09:15,388 Okay. 243 00:09:15,390 --> 00:09:16,856 Bye. 244 00:09:18,026 --> 00:09:20,193 What'd she say? 245 00:09:20,195 --> 00:09:23,512 The doctors are doin' some tests, but, dollars to donuts, 246 00:09:23,515 --> 00:09:26,265 your daddy's just got a bad case of gas. 247 00:09:26,267 --> 00:09:28,634 Y'all two go get ready for bed. 248 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:30,348 I don't want to stay around here. 249 00:09:30,351 --> 00:09:32,492 I want to go to the hospital and see Dad. 250 00:09:32,495 --> 00:09:34,740 Well, I want to go to Las Vegas and see Willie Nelson, 251 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,742 but that ain't gonna happen either. 252 00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:38,711 This is stupid. 253 00:09:38,713 --> 00:09:40,246 You know what's stupid? 254 00:09:40,248 --> 00:09:42,135 I got to drink pink wine! 255 00:09:42,138 --> 00:09:43,137 (DOOR SLAMS) 256 00:09:43,140 --> 00:09:44,417 Meemaw? 257 00:09:44,419 --> 00:09:45,618 What? 258 00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:47,486 Is Dad really okay? 259 00:09:48,323 --> 00:09:49,922 Yes. 260 00:09:49,924 --> 00:09:52,093 I hope you're not bluffing. 261 00:10:01,102 --> 00:10:03,436 You asleep? 262 00:10:03,438 --> 00:10:05,638 No. 263 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,573 Me neither. 264 00:10:07,575 --> 00:10:10,617 Every time the phone rings, I get scared. 265 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,513 Me, too. 266 00:10:14,515 --> 00:10:16,749 (KNOCKING) 267 00:10:16,751 --> 00:10:19,118 I'm goin' to see Dad. You guys want to come? 268 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:22,121 How? Meemaw said we have to stay here. 269 00:10:22,123 --> 00:10:24,290 You want to go or not? 270 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,461 ♫.. ..♫ 271 00:10:31,666 --> 00:10:33,139 Shh. 272 00:10:34,302 --> 00:10:36,269 Shh. 273 00:10:36,271 --> 00:10:38,183 Who do I shush? 274 00:10:38,186 --> 00:10:40,107 - Shh! - Shh! 275 00:10:43,378 --> 00:10:45,578 (SNORES SOFTLY) 276 00:10:57,792 --> 00:10:59,058 (KEYS JANGLE) 277 00:11:01,462 --> 00:11:03,129 (QUIETLY): What are you doing? 278 00:11:03,131 --> 00:11:04,897 I'm driving to the hospital. 279 00:11:04,899 --> 00:11:07,466 You can come with me or stay here... up to you. 280 00:11:07,468 --> 00:11:09,535 I'm comin'. 281 00:11:09,537 --> 00:11:10,756 Sheldon? 282 00:11:10,759 --> 00:11:12,003 You're 14. 283 00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:13,706 You don't know how to drive. 284 00:11:13,708 --> 00:11:15,441 I drove a tractor at 4-H camp. 285 00:11:15,443 --> 00:11:16,876 It's the same thing. 286 00:11:16,878 --> 00:11:19,245 But you sat on the farmer's lap. 287 00:11:19,247 --> 00:11:20,479 Then stay here. 288 00:11:20,481 --> 00:11:22,045 Come on, Missy. 289 00:11:24,352 --> 00:11:25,584 (SNORES LOUDLY) 290 00:11:27,461 --> 00:11:28,994 (ENGINE STARTS) 291 00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:33,259 - (CLICK) - ♫.. And I whine, I'm after you ..♫ 292 00:11:33,261 --> 00:11:35,027 What are you doin'? 293 00:11:35,029 --> 00:11:36,696 Travelin' music. 294 00:11:36,698 --> 00:11:38,097 SHELDON : Ugh. 295 00:11:38,099 --> 00:11:39,765 I'm coming with you. 296 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,389 Why are you wearin' my helmet? 297 00:11:41,392 --> 00:11:44,162 I don't expect this to end well. 298 00:11:44,165 --> 00:11:45,498 And the pillows? 299 00:11:45,501 --> 00:11:47,373 Same answer. 300 00:11:48,209 --> 00:11:50,109 Turn it off. I've got to concentrate. 301 00:11:50,111 --> 00:11:51,711 Aw. 302 00:11:51,713 --> 00:11:53,397 - (MUSIC STOPS) - Okay, 303 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,033 seat belts, everybody. 304 00:11:55,036 --> 00:11:57,311 Please drive slowly. 305 00:11:57,314 --> 00:11:59,247 Relax. I know what I'm doin'. 306 00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:01,252 - Whoa! - Whoa! 307 00:12:01,255 --> 00:12:03,065 ADULT SHELDON : I've often been asked 308 00:12:03,068 --> 00:12:05,091 why I never learned to drive a car. 309 00:12:05,093 --> 00:12:07,727 This night... 310 00:12:07,729 --> 00:12:10,096 is your answer. 311 00:12:10,098 --> 00:12:11,430 Please slow down. 312 00:12:11,432 --> 00:12:13,335 I'm goin' eight miles an hour. 313 00:12:13,338 --> 00:12:14,737 A cow just passed us. 314 00:12:14,740 --> 00:12:17,536 - Do you know how to get to the hospital? - Yeah. 315 00:12:17,538 --> 00:12:19,538 It's right across the street from the Dairy Queen. 316 00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:21,140 Which Dairy Queen? 317 00:12:21,142 --> 00:12:22,575 What are you talkin' about? 318 00:12:22,577 --> 00:12:23,676 There's two. 319 00:12:23,678 --> 00:12:24,811 Really? 320 00:12:24,814 --> 00:12:25,746 You're gonna hit it! 321 00:12:25,749 --> 00:12:27,067 Which is the one Mom takes us to? 322 00:12:27,069 --> 00:12:28,334 You're gonna hit it! 323 00:12:30,985 --> 00:12:33,452 Ooh, you're in trouble now! 324 00:12:33,454 --> 00:12:35,621 (PHONE RINGING) 325 00:12:56,878 --> 00:12:58,511 Yeah? 326 00:12:58,513 --> 00:13:00,813 What took you so long to answer? 327 00:13:00,815 --> 00:13:02,948 Powdering my nose. What's it to ya? 328 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:06,318 Sorry I asked. Just wanted to give you an update. 329 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,621 Y... What's goin' on? 330 00:13:08,623 --> 00:13:10,526 They want to run some more tests. 331 00:13:10,529 --> 00:13:12,326 They're gonna hold him overnight. 332 00:13:12,329 --> 00:13:15,573 Oh. Oh, well, that's, that's nothin' to worry about. 333 00:13:15,576 --> 00:13:17,237 That's just precautionary. 334 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,764 How are the kids? 335 00:13:18,766 --> 00:13:21,151 Oh. (CHUCKLES) They were a little worried, 336 00:13:21,154 --> 00:13:23,235 but I handled it. 337 00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:24,370 They sleepin'? 338 00:13:24,372 --> 00:13:26,806 Um... 339 00:13:26,808 --> 00:13:28,487 Yeah, yeah. 340 00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:30,042 You bet. 341 00:13:30,044 --> 00:13:31,911 Thanks again for helpin'. 342 00:13:31,913 --> 00:13:33,279 Oh, hey, 343 00:13:33,281 --> 00:13:34,714 these are my grandchildren. 344 00:13:34,717 --> 00:13:36,615 They are my blood. 345 00:13:36,617 --> 00:13:38,519 Okay. I better go. 346 00:13:38,522 --> 00:13:40,686 Okay. We'll talk later. 347 00:13:42,857 --> 00:13:45,186 (EXHALES) 348 00:13:53,568 --> 00:13:55,634 Son of a bitch. 349 00:13:57,805 --> 00:13:59,939 I hate those kids. 350 00:13:59,941 --> 00:14:03,342 ♫.. ..♫ 351 00:14:03,344 --> 00:14:05,578 MISSY : Just admit it, we're lost. 352 00:14:05,580 --> 00:14:07,146 We're not lost. 353 00:14:07,148 --> 00:14:09,215 Well, I sure don't see a hospital anywhere. 354 00:14:09,217 --> 00:14:11,784 Why don't we ask somebody for directions? 355 00:14:11,786 --> 00:14:14,253 Because we're children in a car, genius. 356 00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:16,689 Dang it! 357 00:14:16,691 --> 00:14:18,524 Are you aiming for them? 358 00:14:18,526 --> 00:14:20,559 Everybody just shut up. I got this. 359 00:14:20,561 --> 00:14:23,429 (SIREN WAILING) 360 00:14:23,431 --> 00:14:26,631 Oh, no. We're going to jail. 361 00:14:26,634 --> 00:14:28,234 Georgie's going to jail. 362 00:14:28,236 --> 00:14:29,802 I'm saying I was kidnapped. 363 00:14:29,804 --> 00:14:31,237 SHELDON : That's a good plan. 364 00:14:31,239 --> 00:14:33,014 You and I were kidnapped. 365 00:14:33,017 --> 00:14:35,474 If I'm going to jail, we're all going to jail. 366 00:14:35,476 --> 00:14:37,877 Oh, you better pull over. 367 00:14:41,983 --> 00:14:44,650 GEORGE JR. : Oh, thank God. 368 00:14:44,652 --> 00:14:47,319 - Well, don't just sit there... follow it. - Why? 369 00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:49,722 It's an ambulance... It's going to the hospital. 370 00:14:49,724 --> 00:14:51,936 Hang on. 371 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,690 MISSY : How about I put the radio on real low? 372 00:14:57,693 --> 00:14:59,198 GEORGE JR. : Shut up. 373 00:15:00,168 --> 00:15:01,400 Mary. 374 00:15:01,402 --> 00:15:02,501 Mom! 375 00:15:02,503 --> 00:15:04,436 - Where are they? - Where's who? 376 00:15:04,438 --> 00:15:06,748 More importantly... 377 00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:11,675 - how is George? - SHELDON : Mom! 378 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,946 - Ah. There they are! - Hey. Oh. 379 00:15:13,948 --> 00:15:15,548 MEEMAW : Ha! I lost the little rascals 380 00:15:15,550 --> 00:15:17,349 in the... hall. 381 00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,051 I want to see Dad. 382 00:15:19,053 --> 00:15:20,152 - Me, too. - Me, too. 383 00:15:20,154 --> 00:15:21,620 The doctors are with him now. 384 00:15:21,622 --> 00:15:22,888 I'll take you in a bit. 385 00:15:22,890 --> 00:15:24,156 Why are they here? 386 00:15:24,158 --> 00:15:26,125 I think it's obvious. 387 00:15:26,127 --> 00:15:27,893 They love their daddy. 388 00:15:27,895 --> 00:15:31,063 No, I get that. Why aren't they home in bed? 389 00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:37,803 Well, nobody could sleep. 390 00:15:37,805 --> 00:15:40,076 I thought it was the right thing. 391 00:15:42,076 --> 00:15:43,309 Good bluff. 392 00:15:43,311 --> 00:15:45,277 Shh. 393 00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:46,512 Okay, thank you. 394 00:15:46,514 --> 00:15:48,433 You all need anything? You hungry? 395 00:15:48,436 --> 00:15:49,648 - No. - No, thank you. 396 00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:51,650 Okay, everybody sit tight. 397 00:15:51,652 --> 00:15:53,428 I'm gonna go check on your dad. 398 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:56,947 Georgie. 399 00:15:57,858 --> 00:15:59,725 Give me my damn keys. 400 00:15:59,727 --> 00:16:02,161 Oh, yeah. Here. 401 00:16:02,163 --> 00:16:04,363 Thank you. 402 00:16:05,516 --> 00:16:07,516 How did I beat you here? 403 00:16:07,519 --> 00:16:09,619 We kept hitting garbage cans. 404 00:16:09,622 --> 00:16:10,839 Oh, God. 405 00:16:10,842 --> 00:16:12,771 I need to wash my hands. 406 00:16:12,773 --> 00:16:15,708 - There are germs here that can kill you. - Hold up. 407 00:16:15,710 --> 00:16:18,477 Now, y'all like it when your meemaw babysits. 408 00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:21,464 Poker, candy, firecrackers. 409 00:16:21,467 --> 00:16:22,881 - Yes. - Yeah. 410 00:16:22,883 --> 00:16:25,144 Well, if your mother ever finds out 411 00:16:25,147 --> 00:16:26,785 what you did tonight, 412 00:16:26,787 --> 00:16:29,573 that is never gonna happen again. 413 00:16:29,576 --> 00:16:31,105 I can't lie to my mother. 414 00:16:31,108 --> 00:16:33,514 Sure you can. Believe in yourself! 415 00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:43,302 (MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY) 416 00:16:44,939 --> 00:16:46,839 (LABORED BREATHING) 417 00:16:46,841 --> 00:16:48,974 (AMPLIFIED HEARTBEAT) 418 00:16:51,379 --> 00:16:53,178 (RAPID BEEPING) 419 00:16:57,418 --> 00:16:58,651 (WEAK EXHALE) 420 00:17:00,655 --> 00:17:02,655 (AMPLIFIED, RAPID HEARTBEAT) 421 00:17:07,044 --> 00:17:09,211 (PANTS QUIETLY) 422 00:17:29,517 --> 00:17:31,784 ♫.. ..♫ 423 00:17:42,459 --> 00:17:44,659 ADULT SHELDON : Despite what it looks like, 424 00:17:44,662 --> 00:17:46,699 I didn't pray to God that night. 425 00:17:46,701 --> 00:17:49,151 I prayed to Blaise Pascal. 426 00:17:49,154 --> 00:17:50,620 My thinking was, 427 00:17:50,623 --> 00:17:53,620 if he was right about the existence of God, 428 00:17:53,623 --> 00:17:55,737 then he could pass along my request 429 00:17:55,740 --> 00:17:57,843 for my dad to get better. 430 00:17:57,845 --> 00:17:59,812 If he was wrong... 431 00:17:59,814 --> 00:18:01,013 well... 432 00:18:01,015 --> 00:18:04,381 in this moment, I needed him to be right. 433 00:18:09,957 --> 00:18:11,890 What's taking so long? 434 00:18:11,892 --> 00:18:12,912 Shh. 435 00:18:12,915 --> 00:18:15,294 Keep your voice down, car thief. 436 00:18:15,296 --> 00:18:17,696 I didn't steal your car, I just borrowed it. 437 00:18:17,698 --> 00:18:20,799 You're gonna need to make bail someday. 438 00:18:20,801 --> 00:18:24,203 Do not come to me. 439 00:18:24,205 --> 00:18:25,437 MARY : Good news! 440 00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:26,839 Your daddy's gonna be fine. 441 00:18:26,841 --> 00:18:29,174 - Should be home in a day or two. - Oh! 442 00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:30,592 And was it a heart attack? 443 00:18:30,595 --> 00:18:32,177 Minor. No permanent damage. 444 00:18:32,179 --> 00:18:34,546 Oh! That's wonderful! 445 00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,334 Our prayers have been answered. 446 00:18:37,318 --> 00:18:38,450 Come on, everybody, 447 00:18:38,452 --> 00:18:40,386 let's say hello to your old dad. 448 00:18:40,388 --> 00:18:42,721 ♫.. ..♫ 449 00:18:42,723 --> 00:18:43,856 Come on. 450 00:18:43,858 --> 00:18:45,542 ADULT SHELDON : For a brief moment, 451 00:18:45,545 --> 00:18:49,194 I was filled with the healing power of faith. 452 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:52,247 Then the next day, we all got violently ill 453 00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:55,602 from Billy Sparks' eggs, and I was over it. 454 00:18:57,679 --> 00:19:00,732 I thought I'd talk this morning about how it all began. 455 00:19:00,735 --> 00:19:04,185 Now, everybody knows how, on the first day of creation, 456 00:19:04,188 --> 00:19:06,480 God said, "Let there be light." 457 00:19:06,482 --> 00:19:08,416 And there was light. 458 00:19:08,418 --> 00:19:11,719 And when God saw that light, he knew it was good. 459 00:19:11,721 --> 00:19:12,820 (CONGREGATION MURMURING) 460 00:19:12,822 --> 00:19:14,589 Oh, here we go. 461 00:19:14,591 --> 00:19:16,223 Yes, Sheldon. 462 00:19:16,225 --> 00:19:19,333 You said he didn't create the sun until day four. 463 00:19:19,336 --> 00:19:20,535 Yeah. 464 00:19:20,538 --> 00:19:22,872 So how could there be light the first three days? 465 00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:24,599 God is light. 466 00:19:24,601 --> 00:19:26,667 So God's a photon? 467 00:19:28,896 --> 00:19:30,857 God's what made photons possible. 468 00:19:30,860 --> 00:19:32,760 And what day did he do that? 469 00:19:32,763 --> 00:19:34,229 I would think day one. 470 00:19:34,232 --> 00:19:37,333 If I grab my chest and keel over, maybe we can get out of here. 471 00:19:37,336 --> 00:19:39,075 That's a terrible thing to say. 472 00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,145 Because the first day had just begun. 473 00:19:41,148 --> 00:19:42,748 So, before the Big Bang? 474 00:19:42,751 --> 00:19:44,217 There was no Big Bang. 475 00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:45,719 There was only the Word. 476 00:19:45,722 --> 00:19:47,622 Was the word "kaboom"? 477 00:19:47,625 --> 00:19:48,824 Okay, do it. 478 00:19:48,827 --> 00:19:49,960 (GRUNTS) 479 00:19:49,963 --> 00:19:51,162 We gotta go. 480 00:19:51,165 --> 00:19:52,498 (GRUNTING) 481 00:19:52,501 --> 00:19:53,793 MISSY : What's happening? 482 00:19:53,796 --> 00:19:55,444 - Is it over? - Y-Yes. 483 00:19:56,000 --> 00:20:04,658 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - ^.^.^.^.COLORED by.^.^.^.^ ® Sud_Arun collections ® A member of Psagmeno.com