1
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Previously on
2
00:00:02,470 --> 00:00:03,770
Young Sheldon...
3
00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:03,770
Paige?
4
00:00:03,802 --> 00:00:05,637
Im so happy to see you.
5
00:00:05,671 --> 00:00:07,206
Are you happy to see me?
6
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:09,242
Not immediately.
7
00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:11,410
I don't usually see young people
at my lectures.
8
00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:14,314
I enjoyed your paper on
accelerator mass spectrometry
9
00:00:14,346 --> 00:00:15,682
and wanted to find out more.
10
00:00:15,714 --> 00:00:17,050
And you?
11
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,385
I read this magazine.
12
00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:19,552
Uh-huh.
13
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:20,687
It has puzzles, too.
14
00:00:20,719 --> 00:00:22,588
Well, I think my parents
are getting a divorce.
15
00:00:22,621 --> 00:00:24,006
Why?
16
00:00:24,007 --> 00:00:25,391
They fight all the time.
17
00:00:25,425 --> 00:00:28,361
I guess Im lucky.
Why?
18
00:00:28,394 --> 00:00:31,196
Im the glue that holds
our family together.
19
00:00:39,171 --> 00:00:42,142
What do you think of these?
20
00:00:42,174 --> 00:00:44,243
Theyre nice, but youre
already taller than John.
21
00:00:44,277 --> 00:00:45,512
Wont they make that worse?
22
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:47,546
No, makes it better.
23
00:00:47,579 --> 00:00:49,281
He likes me to be dominating.
24
00:00:49,314 --> 00:00:51,283
I don't want to hear that.
25
00:00:51,317 --> 00:00:55,554
Sometimes he makes me wear these
when were... messing around.
26
00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:57,823
I said I don't want to hear it.
27
00:00:57,856 --> 00:01:00,292
I wanted to say it.
28
00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:03,463
All right, I don't have the
Sperry loafers in your size,
29
00:01:03,496 --> 00:01:05,698
but I do have the Hush Puppies.
30
00:01:05,731 --> 00:01:08,200
I don't wear brown Hush
Puppies penny loafers,
31
00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:10,469
I wear brown Sperry
penny loafers.
32
00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:11,521
But they're exactly the same.
33
00:01:11,522 --> 00:01:12,539
Well, do they come
34
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,373
in a box that says
Sperry penny loafers?
35
00:01:14,406 --> 00:01:15,841
Because that one
says Hush Puppies.
36
00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:18,144
Just try em on, honey.
37
00:01:18,177 --> 00:01:19,495
What if I like them?
38
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:20,813
Well, then well get them.
39
00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:23,283
All right, lets go
over this again.
40
00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,418
I don't wear brown Hush
Puppies penny loafers,
41
00:01:25,451 --> 00:01:26,819
I wear brown Sperry...
42
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:28,254
Would you give us a moment?
43
00:01:28,287 --> 00:01:30,189
Happily.
44
00:01:30,222 --> 00:01:32,192
When we get to
the Hello Kitty store today,
45
00:01:32,224 --> 00:01:34,259
remember I was the good child.
46
00:01:34,293 --> 00:01:35,728
Oh, hi, Mary.
47
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,764
Linda. So good to see you.
48
00:01:37,796 --> 00:01:38,998
Hi, Sheldon.
49
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:40,200
Hello, Paige.
50
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:41,050
Hi, Missy.
51
00:01:41,051 --> 00:01:41,867
Hi!
52
00:01:41,901 --> 00:01:44,603
Look at these rain boots...
they have ducks on them.
53
00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:46,573
And the ducks are wearing boots.
54
00:01:46,605 --> 00:01:48,508
Those are so cute.
55
00:01:49,641 --> 00:01:50,676
Well, what a nice coincidence.
56
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:51,710
Yeah.
57
00:01:51,743 --> 00:01:52,712
Good to see you.
58
00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:53,879
Yeah. How are things?
59
00:01:53,912 --> 00:01:55,215
Well, at the moment,
60
00:01:55,247 --> 00:01:56,281
trying to get shoes for Sheldon,
61
00:01:56,316 --> 00:02:00,253
but they only have these,
not the ones he likes.
62
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:05,658
Ah. You know, I think that brand
is the same kind Einstein wore.
63
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:08,495
Well, Ive never seen a picture
of his feet.
64
00:02:08,527 --> 00:02:11,230
And youre a grown-up,
so you wouldnt lie to me.
65
00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:14,667
I guess I have no choice
but to believe you.
66
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,368
All right, Ill try them.
67
00:02:16,401 --> 00:02:19,239
Great!
68
00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:22,275
Hey, Mom, can Missy and I go
to the Hello Kitty store?
69
00:02:22,307 --> 00:02:24,610
Well, its okay with me
if its okay with Mary.
70
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,514
Its okay, but you better be
on your best behavior.
71
00:02:27,546 --> 00:02:28,781
I will, I promise.
72
00:02:28,814 --> 00:02:29,615
Go ahead.
73
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:32,718
Boy, you steal
one pencil sharpener
74
00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:34,554
and you never hear
the end of it.
75
00:02:37,423 --> 00:02:38,658
How do they feel?
76
00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:42,361
My brand loyalty is being
severely tested.
77
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:59,245
I am a mighty little man.
78
00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:08,621
Did you guys know Paige
speaks three languages?
79
00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:11,424
Really?
Thats impressive.
80
00:03:11,456 --> 00:03:13,526
You only speak one.
81
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,663
Two. Im learning
conversational Klingon.
82
00:03:16,695 --> 00:03:18,264
Thats impressive, too.
83
00:03:20,332 --> 00:03:22,534
Hey, Mom, can Paige
sleep over this weekend?
84
00:03:22,568 --> 00:03:24,804
I guess,
if her mother says okay.
85
00:03:24,836 --> 00:03:27,006
Wait, where is she
going to sleep?
86
00:03:27,039 --> 00:03:28,974
In your bed.
You can sleep on the couch.
87
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,475
Absolutely not.
88
00:03:30,509 --> 00:03:32,312
Ive already changed
my brand of loafers,
89
00:03:32,344 --> 00:03:35,548
I am not changing
my sleeping quarters.
90
00:03:35,581 --> 00:03:37,716
How about you stay at
Meemaws? You like that.
91
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,752
No, Meemaw has a date.
92
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:40,752
So?
93
00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:42,421
So if those shoes I just bought
94
00:03:42,454 --> 00:03:43,689
do their job,
95
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,625
that will be a "no children
allowed" scenario.
96
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,996
Well, Im sleeping in my bed,
and thats that.
97
00:03:50,028 --> 00:03:52,298
Fine, Paige and I
can share my bed.
98
00:03:52,331 --> 00:03:53,832
You okay with that, Shelly?
99
00:03:53,865 --> 00:03:57,736
I trust you two will stay quiet
throughout the evening
100
00:03:57,770 --> 00:03:59,605
and go to sleep at
the appropriate time?
101
00:03:59,639 --> 00:04:02,040
Absolutely.
102
00:04:02,074 --> 00:04:04,843
All right, then.
Im okay with it, Mom.
103
00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:08,647
How is he ever gonna
get through this world?
104
00:04:11,950 --> 00:04:13,752
Welcome, come on in.
105
00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:15,822
Oh, thank you.
106
00:04:15,854 --> 00:04:18,423
You look nice. Going out
to dinner with your husband?
107
00:04:18,457 --> 00:04:20,059
Ugh, no. Girlfriends.
108
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,494
Hi, Sheldon.
109
00:04:21,526 --> 00:04:22,862
Hello.
110
00:04:22,894 --> 00:04:23,730
What are you doing?
111
00:04:23,762 --> 00:04:25,898
Chemistry homework
for extra credit.
112
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,766
Cute, I did that last year.
113
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,569
Paige!
114
00:04:29,601 --> 00:04:31,504
Missy!
115
00:04:31,536 --> 00:04:33,706
Aw, they're so sweet.
116
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:37,409
Yeah, lifell suck that
right out of them soon enough.
117
00:04:37,442 --> 00:04:38,778
Well, bye.
Bye.
118
00:04:38,810 --> 00:04:41,880
You got to meet my dolls...
I told them all about you!
119
00:04:44,817 --> 00:04:48,353
"Cute, I did that last year."
120
00:04:48,387 --> 00:04:50,523
Thank you for agreeing
to the early-bird dinner.
121
00:04:50,555 --> 00:04:54,661
When I eat too late,
the food just sits right here.
122
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:57,062
Yeah, gettin old is no party.
123
00:04:57,096 --> 00:05:00,399
Oh, Ive had this problem
since I was ten.
124
00:05:00,432 --> 00:05:05,404
When I was in grade school,
my nickname was Old Burpy.
125
00:05:05,437 --> 00:05:07,906
Well, I will not be
calling you that.
126
00:05:07,939 --> 00:05:09,408
You can if youd like.
127
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:10,776
Im good.
128
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,545
So, I have a little surprise
for you.
129
00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:15,682
Oh, I love surprises.
Whatcha got?
130
00:05:15,714 --> 00:05:17,550
Im going to learn to drive.
131
00:05:17,582 --> 00:05:19,384
Really?
132
00:05:19,418 --> 00:05:20,420
Yes.
133
00:05:20,452 --> 00:05:24,023
While I love having you be
the dominant personality
134
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:27,526
behind closed doors,
I think out in public
135
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,728
I ought to take on
more of a macho role.
136
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:33,800
Well, youre macho enough
for me, John,
137
00:05:33,832 --> 00:05:37,103
but I would enjoy not having
to drive us all the time.
138
00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:38,471
Then its settled.
139
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,005
Well, when do you start?
140
00:05:40,038 --> 00:05:41,807
As soon as you teach me.
141
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:45,812
Me? Do you really think
thats a good idea?
142
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:49,115
Its perfect.
I teach you about science
143
00:05:49,148 --> 00:05:50,850
so you can impress
your grandson,
144
00:05:50,882 --> 00:05:54,853
and you teach me to drive
so I can impress you.
145
00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:59,591
Okay, but if we do this,
Im in charge.
146
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:04,529
You have to do what I say when
and how I tell you to do it.
147
00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:08,434
Hubba-hubba, its like
were back in the bedroom.
148
00:06:10,002 --> 00:06:13,605
Did you know that tea was
discovered by accident?
149
00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:16,108
I didn't, but I don't know
lots of stuff.
150
00:06:16,141 --> 00:06:18,810
The Emperor Shennong of China
was boiling water in his garden
151
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,447
and a leaf from a tea tree
fell into his pot.
152
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,750
Tea comes from trees?
153
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:25,985
Whered you think it comes from?
154
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:27,754
The supermarket.
155
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:32,057
What, the girls leave you out
of their little picnic?
156
00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:33,692
Oh, they invited him.
157
00:06:33,725 --> 00:06:35,026
Well, then why aint you
out there?
158
00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:38,130
Eat outdoors? Do I look
like a hippie to you?
159
00:06:38,163 --> 00:06:39,999
I thought Paige was your friend.
160
00:06:40,031 --> 00:06:41,768
Shes more of a colleague.
161
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:42,834
Oh.
162
00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:44,170
Although for reasons unknown,
163
00:06:44,202 --> 00:06:46,538
shes currently behaving
like a ten-year-old.
164
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,774
Maybe thats because she
is a ten-year-old.
165
00:06:48,807 --> 00:06:50,042
Still no excuse.
166
00:06:52,110 --> 00:06:54,045
All right, Im just gonna
come out and ask it:
167
00:06:54,079 --> 00:06:56,449
what the heck is a colleague?
168
00:07:04,189 --> 00:07:06,024
Okay, pick a number.
169
00:07:06,057 --> 00:07:07,125
Three.
170
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,028
One, two, three.
171
00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:10,596
Now pick a color.
172
00:07:10,629 --> 00:07:11,898
Pink, duh.
173
00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:16,668
The name of
your future pony is...
174
00:07:16,701 --> 00:07:18,637
Sparkle Sunshine.
175
00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:20,839
I would totally name it that!
176
00:07:20,872 --> 00:07:23,608
Sheldon, do you want to
have your fortune read?
177
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:25,511
Absolutely not.
178
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:28,514
And I cannot believe a person
as smart as you is doing it.
179
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,615
Why? Its fun.
180
00:07:30,649 --> 00:07:33,920
He doesn't know how to have fun;
hes an old man.
181
00:07:33,952 --> 00:07:35,288
Im not an old man.
182
00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:37,622
Oh, yeah?
Whats your favorite color?
183
00:07:37,656 --> 00:07:38,925
Khaki.
184
00:07:38,957 --> 00:07:41,026
Old man.
185
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:50,870
Im trying to sleep.
186
00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:52,872
Come inside and play with us.
187
00:07:52,904 --> 00:07:54,072
Dont invite him.
188
00:07:54,105 --> 00:07:55,207
This is a girls fort,
189
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:56,843
not an old man fort.
190
00:07:56,875 --> 00:07:59,077
Im not an old man.
191
00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:00,312
Then come inside.
192
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:02,314
Are you crazy? Its bedtime.
193
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:05,218
Old man.
194
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,105
What are you doing?
195
00:08:26,137 --> 00:08:28,707
Were tying
Georgies ankles together.
196
00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:31,209
So when he gets
out of bed he falls down.
197
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,845
But he could get hurt.
198
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:34,346
If were lucky.
199
00:08:34,379 --> 00:08:36,782
Well, I will not be
a party to this.
200
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,350
Old man.
201
00:08:42,254 --> 00:08:45,924
Thats when
the bloodthirsty Goatman...
202
00:08:45,957 --> 00:08:48,126
part goat, part man...
203
00:08:48,159 --> 00:08:52,697
crept up on the sleeping
children... No.
204
00:08:52,731 --> 00:08:57,269
...and sank his sharp little
teeth into their necks... No.
205
00:08:57,302 --> 00:08:59,639
...and drank their blood!
206
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:01,106
No.
207
00:09:01,139 --> 00:09:02,807
Problem?
208
00:09:02,841 --> 00:09:05,043
Several. First of all,
goats are herbivores.
209
00:09:05,076 --> 00:09:07,245
They don't eat meat,
let alone drink blood.
210
00:09:07,279 --> 00:09:09,381
Maybe the half man part
drinks blood.
211
00:09:09,414 --> 00:09:12,751
Dont even get me started
on the "half man" stuff.
212
00:09:12,784 --> 00:09:16,154
Sheldon, its just
a fun scary story.
213
00:09:16,187 --> 00:09:18,024
Its nonsense is what it is.
214
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,258
Old man.
215
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,092
Im not an old man, Im ten.
216
00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:22,827
More like 110.
217
00:09:22,861 --> 00:09:26,131
You know, I read that adults
who had a stunted childhood
218
00:09:26,164 --> 00:09:28,833
often become social misfits
and weirdos.
219
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,769
You didn't read that,
youre making it up
220
00:09:30,802 --> 00:09:31,836
like your goat story.
221
00:09:31,870 --> 00:09:36,308
Psychology Magazine,
February issue, 1988.
222
00:09:36,341 --> 00:09:37,777
Well, um...
223
00:09:37,809 --> 00:09:40,178
That doesn't make it true.
224
00:09:40,211 --> 00:09:42,014
Guess youll find out
when youre an adult.
225
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,950
I guess I will.
226
00:09:46,217 --> 00:09:47,702
Well, we know ho
227
00:09:47,703 --> 00:09:49,187
w this story ends.
228
00:09:49,221 --> 00:09:50,255
I grew up to become a
229
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,289
well-adjusted
230
00:09:51,323 --> 00:09:52,325
and charming fellow.
Bu
231
00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:53,326
t at that moment in time,
232
00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:54,493
she had me worried.
233
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,896
Hey, Georgie, breakfast.
Mo
234
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,264
m made Eggos.
235
00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:00,316
Eg
236
00:10:00,317 --> 00:10:01,333
gos, sweet.
237
00:10:01,366 --> 00:10:03,668
Ow! Dang it!
238
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:14,879
Oh, dear.
239
00:10:14,913 --> 00:10:15,447
What?
240
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,216
Paige was right.
241
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:19,217
"Theres ample evidence
to indicate
242
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:22,355
"that a stunted childhood
can cause one to be maladjusted
243
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:23,688
as an adult."
244
00:10:23,722 --> 00:10:24,923
Then Im screwed.
245
00:10:24,956 --> 00:10:26,692
What do you mean?
246
00:10:26,725 --> 00:10:29,161
When Im not in school,
Im doing homework.
247
00:10:29,195 --> 00:10:31,963
When Im not doing homework,
Im practicing my cello.
248
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,365
And when Im not doing that,
249
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:35,167
Im working in my parents store.
250
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,769
That must be why were friends.
251
00:10:37,802 --> 00:10:39,004
Were both stunted.
252
00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,373
Sounds right.
253
00:10:40,405 --> 00:10:43,341
Well, I for one
plan to do something about it.
254
00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:45,211
Like what?
255
00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:48,213
Im going to goof off,
engage in horseplay,
256
00:10:48,246 --> 00:10:50,383
and if time permits,
be quite immature.
257
00:10:50,415 --> 00:10:51,951
If time permits?
258
00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:54,086
I have homework, too.
259
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,254
Would you like to join me
in my shenanigans?
260
00:10:56,288 --> 00:10:57,389
No, thanks.
261
00:10:57,423 --> 00:11:01,126
Arent you concerned about
being a maladjusted adult?
262
00:11:01,159 --> 00:11:03,495
Nah. I'll just marry
an American woman
263
00:11:03,528 --> 00:11:06,065
and hope she can fix me.
264
00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:13,839
Im usually the one
giving the tests,
265
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,424
but, uh, today Im
266
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,975
taking
267
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:16,975
one.
268
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,244
No talking.
269
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:22,782
And I usually say that
to my students.
270
00:11:26,985 --> 00:11:27,986
What?
271
00:11:28,019 --> 00:11:30,022
Hows it going?
272
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:33,058
I cant tell you.
Theres no talking.
273
00:11:33,091 --> 00:11:34,426
No talking.
274
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:35,760
Sorry.
275
00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:44,970
Mind if I join you?
276
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:45,971
Doing what?
277
00:11:46,004 --> 00:11:47,139
Swinging.
278
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,274
Seriously?
279
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:51,110
Yes. Its my hope to feel
the wind in my hair
280
00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:52,278
and be carefree.
281
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,412
Um, okay.
282
00:12:07,826 --> 00:12:10,528
Sheldon threw up on me.
Sheldon threw up on me!
283
00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:15,868
Okay, rearview mirrors.
284
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:18,136
Um, all set.
285
00:12:18,169 --> 00:12:21,907
Turn signal left.
Turn signal right.
286
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:24,476
Um, foot on the brake.
287
00:12:24,509 --> 00:12:28,114
Transmission in drive.
288
00:12:32,317 --> 00:12:34,953
You have to start the car first.
289
00:12:34,986 --> 00:12:37,056
Of course.
290
00:12:37,088 --> 00:12:38,423
Sorry, Im a bit nervous.
291
00:12:38,456 --> 00:12:40,225
Youre not alone.
292
00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:45,865
And here we go.
293
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:54,072
This is crazy.
294
00:12:54,105 --> 00:12:55,540
Im doing it.
295
00:13:07,019 --> 00:13:09,288
Excuse me, I was
hoping to purchase
296
00:13:09,321 --> 00:13:11,322
some practical joke
paraphernalia
297
00:13:11,356 --> 00:13:13,325
so that I may behave childishly.
298
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:14,860
Rack in the corner.
299
00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:16,095
Thank you.
300
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:34,346
"If its funny, its a Bazinga."
301
00:13:34,379 --> 00:13:35,581
Interesting.
302
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:44,423
Yellow light.
Yellow light!
303
00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:45,890
Its okay, keep going.
304
00:13:45,924 --> 00:13:47,293
But yellow means slow down.
305
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:48,427
You cant slow down
in the intersection!
306
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:50,095
Keep going.
307
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:51,563
Are you sure?
Yes.
308
00:13:51,596 --> 00:13:52,664
Go. Go!
309
00:14:02,073 --> 00:14:05,610
Oh, God. Oh, God.
310
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:07,212
Oh...
311
00:14:07,245 --> 00:14:08,514
Im so sorry.
312
00:14:08,547 --> 00:14:10,481
Its okay, were fine.
313
00:14:10,515 --> 00:14:12,183
Nobody got hurt.
314
00:14:12,217 --> 00:14:14,052
I don't think I can
do this, Connie.
315
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:16,254
Of course you can.
Were just getting started.
316
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:19,457
No, its too much information.
I cant process it.
317
00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:21,427
It was just a yellow light.
318
00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:24,596
Not just the light.
There were other cars.
319
00:14:24,629 --> 00:14:25,931
Theres pedestrians.
320
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,149
There was a guy on a bicycle.
321
00:14:27,150 --> 00:14:28,333
So?
322
00:14:28,366 --> 00:14:30,201
Thats just too many
random elements.
323
00:14:30,235 --> 00:14:32,937
The-the-the stimuli
are overwhelming.
324
00:14:32,971 --> 00:14:35,407
Okay. Okay.
325
00:14:38,543 --> 00:14:41,046
Im sorry.
I know Im letting you down.
326
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,948
Oh, don't be silly.
Youre not letting me down.
327
00:14:45,683 --> 00:14:48,953
I love you whether
you can drive or not.
328
00:14:50,588 --> 00:14:52,423
You love me?
329
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:58,496
Well, I...
330
00:14:58,529 --> 00:15:00,499
I suppose I do.
331
00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:05,370
Am I allowed to reciprocate?
332
00:15:05,403 --> 00:15:08,974
Sure, if thats the way you feel.
333
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:10,975
Oh, it is.
334
00:15:11,009 --> 00:15:13,245
I love you, too, Connie.
335
00:15:13,278 --> 00:15:16,248
Well...
336
00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:20,719
Thats just great.
337
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,455
All righty.
338
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:27,125
Would you like to
switch seats with me?
339
00:15:27,158 --> 00:15:29,595
Yes, but give me a minute
340
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:32,463
because my legs are
a little wobbly.
341
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:35,500
Is that from the yellow light
or the "I love yous"?
342
00:15:35,533 --> 00:15:36,735
Both.
343
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:43,676
Dad, would you care for
a piece of gum?
344
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:45,244
No, thank you.
345
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,011
Please, take a piece of gum.
346
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:48,279
Why?
347
00:15:48,313 --> 00:15:49,514
Just please.
348
00:15:53,318 --> 00:15:54,586
Bazinga.
349
00:15:56,587 --> 00:15:57,623
You understand any of that?
350
00:15:57,655 --> 00:16:00,558
I don't know, I guess
hes just being a little boy.
351
00:16:00,591 --> 00:16:02,360
Since when?
352
00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:05,397
Georgie? Georgie?
353
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:06,565
What?
354
00:16:06,597 --> 00:16:11,035
Would you like some
salted mixed nuts?
355
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:12,037
Nah.
356
00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:13,639
Look, they're the fancy kind.
357
00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:15,274
Thats a trick can.
358
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:16,708
No, its not.
359
00:16:16,741 --> 00:16:18,811
Listen. When you shake it,
theres a rattling sound,
360
00:16:18,844 --> 00:16:20,446
as if nuts are inside.
361
00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:24,716
Fine.
362
00:16:28,086 --> 00:16:30,688
Bazinga.
363
00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:35,059
Sparks residence,
Billy speaking.
364
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:36,394
This is the electric company.
365
00:16:36,427 --> 00:16:37,462
Hello.
366
00:16:37,495 --> 00:16:40,264
Im calling to see
if your refrigerator is running.
367
00:16:40,298 --> 00:16:42,701
I'll go check.
368
00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:47,673
Im back. Its running.
369
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:49,140
Well, then you better
go catch it.
370
00:16:49,173 --> 00:16:52,577
Bazinga.
371
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:56,148
This is Connie Tucker.
372
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:57,482
Leave a message
when you hear the...
373
00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:58,783
beep.
374
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:03,355
Hello, um, Meemaw,
375
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:04,589
this is Sheldon.
376
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:09,394
If you were home, I was going
to say, "Is Mr. Wall there?"
377
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:10,729
And then you would say, "No."
378
00:17:10,762 --> 00:17:13,766
And then I would say,
"Is Mrs. Wall there?"
379
00:17:13,798 --> 00:17:15,401
And then you would say, "No."
380
00:17:15,433 --> 00:17:17,769
And then I would say,
"Well, if there are no walls,
381
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:20,838
then how does your roof
stay up?"
382
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,108
Um, okay. Bazinga.
383
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:27,479
That was pathetic.
384
00:17:27,512 --> 00:17:29,448
It was.
385
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:33,184
Im not sure Im cut out for
these antics and shenanigans.
386
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,520
I guess youre gonna
grow up to be a weirdo.
387
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,789
I suppose I am.
388
00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:40,259
Life is so confusing.
389
00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:43,261
I always hoped
it would be easier for me
390
00:17:43,295 --> 00:17:44,596
when I grew up, but...
391
00:17:45,830 --> 00:17:48,800
...now Im not so sure it will.
392
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:51,269
Its gonna be all right.
393
00:17:58,544 --> 00:17:59,711
You were faking?
394
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,415
Bazinga.
395
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:05,368
An
396
00:18:05,369 --> 00:18:06,285
d thats how I became
397
00:18:06,317 --> 00:18:08,019
the madcap prankster al
398
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,721
l my friends know and love.
399
00:18:16,361 --> 00:18:19,530
So, John, how was
your first driving lesson?
400
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:21,500
Intense.
401
00:18:21,532 --> 00:18:22,667
At one point,
402
00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:24,803
I was approaching
an intersection.
403
00:18:24,836 --> 00:18:27,538
The light was green,
but at the last moment,
404
00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:28,941
it turned yellow.
405
00:18:28,973 --> 00:18:30,342
I didn't know what to do.
406
00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:32,877
Should I keep going?
Should I stop?
407
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:35,213
There were other cars nearby.
408
00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:36,414
Connie was yelling.
409
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,817
A glare from the sun
was in my eyes.
410
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,285
So, what happened?
411
00:18:40,318 --> 00:18:42,421
Somehow, I managed
to make it through,
412
00:18:42,453 --> 00:18:44,256
turned on my directional,
413
00:18:44,288 --> 00:18:45,824
and slowly pulled
414
00:18:45,857 --> 00:18:47,893
to the side of the road.
415
00:18:47,925 --> 00:18:51,730
Thats how you
tell a scary story.
416
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:55,834
In lighter news,
your meemaw loves me.
417
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:57,903
Captioning sponsored by CBS
418
00:18:57,935 --> 00:18:59,904
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
419
00:18:59,938 --> 00:19:02,941
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