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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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Paige?
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I'm so happy to see you.
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Are you happy to see me?
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Not immediately.
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I don't usually see young
people at my lectures.
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I enjoyed your paper on
accelerator mass spectrometry
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and wanted to find out more.
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- And you?
- I read this magazine.
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- Uh-huh.
- It has puzzles, too.
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Well, I think my parents
are getting a divorce.
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- Why?
- They fight all the time.
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- I guess I'm lucky.
- Why?
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I'm the glue that holds
our family together.
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What do you think of these?
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They're nice, but you're
already taller than John.
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Won't they make that worse?
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No, makes it better.
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He likes me to be dominating.
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I don't want to hear that.
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Sometimes he makes me wear these
when we're... messing around.
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I said I don't want to hear it.
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I wanted to say it.
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All right, I don't have the
Sperry loafers in your size,
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but I do have the Hush Puppies.
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I don't wear brown Hush
Puppies penny loafers,
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I wear brown Sperry penny loafers.
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- But they're exactly the same.
- Well, do they come
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in a box that says Sperry penny loafers?
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Because that one says Hush Puppies.
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Just try 'em on, honey.
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- What if I like them?
- Well, then we'll get them.
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All right, let's go over this again.
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I don't wear brown Hush
Puppies penny loafers,
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I wear brown Sperry...
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Would you give us a moment?
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Happily.
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When we get to the
Hello Kitty store today,
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remember I was the good child.
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Oh, hi, Mary.
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Linda. So good to see you.
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- Hi, Sheldon.
- Hello, Paige.
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- Hi, Missy.
- Hi!
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Look at these rain boots...
They have ducks on them.
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And the ducks are wearing boots.
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Those are so cute.
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- Well, what a nice coincidence.
- Yeah.
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Good to see you.
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Yeah. How are things?
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Well, at the moment,
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trying to get shoes for Sheldon,
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but they only have these,
not the ones he likes.
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Ah. You know, I think that brand
is the same kind Einstein wore.
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Well, I've never seen
a picture of his feet.
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And you're a grown-up,
so you wouldn't lie to me.
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I guess I have no choice
but to believe you.
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All right, I'll try them.
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Great!
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Hey, Mom, can Missy and I
go to the Hello Kitty store?
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Well, it's okay with me
if it's okay with Mary.
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It's okay, but you better
be on your best behavior.
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I will, I promise.
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Go ahead.
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Boy, you steal one pencil sharpener
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and you never hear the end of it.
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How do they feel?
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My brand loyalty is
being severely tested.
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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Did you guys know Paige
speaks three languages?
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Really? That's impressive.
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You only speak one.
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Two. I'm learning
conversational Klingon.
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That's impressive, too.
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Hey, Mom, can Paige
sleep over this weekend?
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I guess, if her mother says okay.
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Wait, where is she going to sleep?
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In your bed. You can sleep on the couch.
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Absolutely not.
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I've already changed
my brand of loafers,
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I am not changing my sleeping quarters.
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How about you stay at
Meemaw's? You like that.
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No, Meemaw has a date.
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So?
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So if those shoes I just bought
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do their job,
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that will be a "no
children allowed" scenario.
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Well, I'm sleeping in
my bed, and that's that.
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Fine, Paige and I can share my bed.
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You okay with that, Shelly?
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I trust you two will stay
quiet throughout the evening
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and go to sleep at the appropriate time?
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Absolutely.
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All right, then. I'm okay with it, Mom.
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How is he ever gonna
get through this world?
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Welcome, come on in.
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Oh, thank you.
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You look nice. Going out
to dinner with your husband?
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Ugh, no. Girlfriends.
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Hi, Sheldon.
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Hello.
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What are you doing?
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Chemistry homework for extra credit.
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Cute, I did that last year.
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Paige!
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Missy!
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Aw, they're so sweet.
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Yeah, life'll suck that
right out of them soon enough.
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- Well, bye.
- Bye.
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You got to meet my dolls...
I told them all about you!
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"Cute, I did that last year."
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Thank you for agreeing
to the early-bird dinner.
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When I eat too late, the
food just sits right here.
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Yeah, gettin' old is no party.
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Oh, I've had this
problem since I was ten.
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When I was in grade school,
my nickname was Old Burpy.
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Well, I will not be calling you that.
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You can if you'd like.
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I'm good.
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So, I have a little surprise for you.
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Oh, I love surprises. Whatcha got?
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I'm going to learn to drive.
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Really?
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Yes.
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While I love having you
be the dominant personality
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behind closed doors,
I think out in public
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I ought to take on more of a macho role.
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Well, you're macho enough for me, John,
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but I would enjoy not having
to drive us all the time.
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Then it's settled.
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Well, when do you start?
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As soon as you teach me.
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Me? Do you really think
that's a good idea?
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It's perfect. I teach you about science
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so you can impress your grandson,
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and you teach me to drive
so I can impress you.
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Okay, but if we do this, I'm in charge.
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You have to do what I say when
and how I tell you to do it.
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Hubba-hubba, it's like
we're back in the bedroom.
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Did you know that tea was
discovered by accident?
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I didn't, but I don't
know lots of stuff.
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The Emperor Shennong of China
was boiling water in his garden
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and a leaf from a tea
tree fell into his pot.
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Tea comes from trees?
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Where'd you think it comes from?
145
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The supermarket.
146
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What, the girls leave you
out of their little picnic?
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Oh, they invited him.
148
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Well, then why ain't you out there?
149
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Eat outdoors? Do I look
like a hippie to you?
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I thought Paige was your friend.
151
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She's more of a colleague.
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Oh.
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Although for reasons unknown,
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she's currently behaving
like a ten-year-old.
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Maybe that's because
she is a ten-year-old.
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Still no excuse.
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All right, I'm just
gonna come out and ask it:
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what the heck is a colleague?
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Okay, pick a number.
160
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Three.
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One, two, three.
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Now pick a color.
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Pink, duh.
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The name of your future pony is...
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Sparkle Sunshine.
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I would totally name it that!
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Sheldon, do you want to
have your fortune read?
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00:07:19,802 --> 00:07:21,669
Absolutely not.
169
00:07:21,671 --> 00:07:24,705
And I cannot believe a person
as smart as you is doing it.
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Why? It's fun.
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He doesn't know how to
have fun; he's an old man.
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I'm not an old man.
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Oh, yeah? What's your favorite color?
174
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Khaki.
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Old man.
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I'm trying to sleep.
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Come inside and play with us.
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Don't invite him.
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This is a girls fort,
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not an old man fort.
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I'm not an old man.
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Then come inside.
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00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:58,673
Are you crazy? It's bedtime.
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Old man.
185
00:08:20,863 --> 00:08:22,763
What are you doing?
186
00:08:22,765 --> 00:08:25,074
We're tying Georgie's ankles together.
187
00:08:25,077 --> 00:08:27,868
So when he gets out
of bed he falls down.
188
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But he could get hurt.
189
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If we're lucky.
190
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Well, I will not be a party to this.
191
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Old man.
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That's when the bloodthirsty Goatman...
193
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Part goat, part man...
194
00:08:44,754 --> 00:08:49,223
- Crept up on the sleeping children...
- No.
195
00:08:49,225 --> 00:08:53,031
...and sank his sharp little
teeth into their necks...
196
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,001
No.
197
00:08:54,004 --> 00:08:56,163
...and drank their blood!
198
00:08:56,165 --> 00:08:57,732
No.
199
00:08:57,734 --> 00:08:59,176
Problem?
200
00:08:59,179 --> 00:09:01,559
Several. First of all,
goats are herbivores.
201
00:09:01,562 --> 00:09:03,904
They don't eat meat,
let alone drink blood.
202
00:09:03,906 --> 00:09:06,073
Maybe the half man part drinks blood.
203
00:09:06,075 --> 00:09:09,310
Don't even get me started
on the "half man" stuff.
204
00:09:09,312 --> 00:09:12,621
Sheldon, it's just a fun scary story.
205
00:09:12,624 --> 00:09:14,648
It's nonsense is what it is.
206
00:09:14,650 --> 00:09:15,916
Old man.
207
00:09:15,918 --> 00:09:17,718
I'm not an old man, I'm ten.
208
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:19,387
More like 110.
209
00:09:19,389 --> 00:09:22,757
You know, I read that adults
who had a stunted childhood
210
00:09:22,759 --> 00:09:25,359
often become social misfits and weirdos.
211
00:09:25,361 --> 00:09:27,294
You didn't read that,
you're making it up
212
00:09:27,296 --> 00:09:28,662
like your goat story.
213
00:09:28,664 --> 00:09:32,967
Psychology Magazine,
February issue, 1988.
214
00:09:32,969 --> 00:09:34,335
Well, um...
215
00:09:34,337 --> 00:09:36,837
That doesn't make it true.
216
00:09:36,839 --> 00:09:38,606
Guess you'll find out
when you're an adult.
217
00:09:38,608 --> 00:09:40,474
I guess I will.
218
00:09:42,845 --> 00:09:45,846
Well, we know how this story ends.
219
00:09:45,848 --> 00:09:47,801
I grew up to become a well-adjusted
220
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:50,017
and charming fellow. But
at that moment in time,
221
00:09:50,019 --> 00:09:51,352
she had me worried.
222
00:09:51,354 --> 00:09:55,923
Hey, Georgie, breakfast. Mom made Eggos.
223
00:09:55,925 --> 00:09:57,992
Eggos, sweet.
224
00:09:57,994 --> 00:10:00,194
Ow! Dang it!
225
00:10:06,727 --> 00:10:07,947
Oh, dear.
226
00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:08,982
What?
227
00:10:08,985 --> 00:10:10,625
Paige was right.
228
00:10:10,627 --> 00:10:12,627
"There's ample evidence to indicate
229
00:10:12,629 --> 00:10:15,764
that a stunted childhood can
cause one to be maladjusted
230
00:10:15,766 --> 00:10:16,932
as an adult."
231
00:10:16,934 --> 00:10:18,233
Then I'm screwed.
232
00:10:18,235 --> 00:10:19,935
What do you mean?
233
00:10:19,937 --> 00:10:22,537
When I'm not in school,
I'm doing homework.
234
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,273
When I'm not doing homework,
I'm practicing my cello.
235
00:10:25,275 --> 00:10:26,808
And when I'm not doing that,
236
00:10:26,810 --> 00:10:28,543
I'm working in my parents' store.
237
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:31,046
That must be why we're friends.
238
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,347
We're both stunted.
239
00:10:32,349 --> 00:10:33,782
Sounds right.
240
00:10:33,784 --> 00:10:36,751
Well, I for one plan to
do something about it.
241
00:10:36,753 --> 00:10:38,587
Like what?
242
00:10:38,589 --> 00:10:41,590
I'm going to goof off,
engage in horseplay,
243
00:10:41,592 --> 00:10:43,825
and if time permits, be quite immature.
244
00:10:43,827 --> 00:10:45,260
If time permits?
245
00:10:45,262 --> 00:10:47,180
I have homework, too.
246
00:10:47,183 --> 00:10:49,631
Would you like to join
me in my shenanigans?
247
00:10:49,633 --> 00:10:50,966
No, thanks.
248
00:10:50,968 --> 00:10:54,469
Aren't you concerned about
being a maladjusted adult?
249
00:10:54,471 --> 00:10:57,146
Nah. I'll just marry an American woman
250
00:10:57,149 --> 00:10:59,374
and hope she can fix me.
251
00:11:04,781 --> 00:11:07,115
I'm usually the one giving the tests,
252
00:11:07,117 --> 00:11:10,285
but, uh, today I'm taking one.
253
00:11:10,287 --> 00:11:11,620
No talking.
254
00:11:11,622 --> 00:11:15,991
And I usually say that to my students.
255
00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:21,296
What?
256
00:11:21,298 --> 00:11:23,365
How's it going?
257
00:11:23,367 --> 00:11:26,401
I can't tell you. There's no talking.
258
00:11:26,403 --> 00:11:28,970
- No talking.
- Sorry.
259
00:11:37,047 --> 00:11:38,280
Mind if I join you?
260
00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:39,314
Doing what?
261
00:11:39,316 --> 00:11:41,650
- Swinging.
- Seriously?
262
00:11:41,652 --> 00:11:44,452
Yes. It's my hope to
feel the wind in my hair
263
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:46,930
- and be carefree.
- Um, okay.
264
00:12:01,104 --> 00:12:03,939
Sheldon threw up on me.
Sheldon threw up on me!
265
00:12:05,742 --> 00:12:09,144
Okay, rearview mirrors.
266
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,479
Um, all set.
267
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:15,183
Turn signal left. Turn signal right.
268
00:12:15,185 --> 00:12:17,919
Um, foot on the brake.
269
00:12:17,921 --> 00:12:21,389
Transmission in drive.
270
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:28,228
You have to start the car first.
271
00:12:28,231 --> 00:12:30,365
Of course.
272
00:12:30,367 --> 00:12:31,833
Sorry, I'm a bit nervous.
273
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,568
You're not alone.
274
00:12:36,306 --> 00:12:39,107
And here we go.
275
00:12:44,715 --> 00:12:47,382
This is crazy.
276
00:12:47,384 --> 00:12:48,917
I'm doing it.
277
00:13:00,297 --> 00:13:02,664
Excuse me, I was hoping to purchase
278
00:13:02,666 --> 00:13:04,699
some practical joke paraphernalia
279
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,701
so that I may behave childishly.
280
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,103
Rack in the corner.
281
00:13:08,105 --> 00:13:09,371
Thank you.
282
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:27,722
"If it's funny, it's a Bazinga."
283
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:28,990
Interesting.
284
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,799
Yellow light. Yellow light!
285
00:13:37,801 --> 00:13:39,134
It's okay, keep going.
286
00:13:39,136 --> 00:13:40,635
But yellow means slow down.
287
00:13:40,637 --> 00:13:42,255
You can't slow down in the intersection!
288
00:13:42,258 --> 00:13:43,405
Keep going.
289
00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:45,006
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
290
00:13:45,008 --> 00:13:46,107
Go. Go!
291
00:13:55,318 --> 00:13:59,054
Oh, God. Oh, God.
292
00:13:59,056 --> 00:14:00,555
Oh...
293
00:14:00,557 --> 00:14:01,923
I'm so sorry.
294
00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,892
It's okay, we're fine.
295
00:14:03,894 --> 00:14:05,493
Nobody got hurt.
296
00:14:05,495 --> 00:14:07,328
I don't think I can do this, Connie.
297
00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:09,597
Of course you can. We're
just getting started.
298
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:12,834
No, it's too much information.
I can't process it.
299
00:14:12,836 --> 00:14:14,803
It was just a yellow light.
300
00:14:14,805 --> 00:14:18,006
Not just the light.
There were other cars.
301
00:14:18,008 --> 00:14:19,174
There's pedestrians.
302
00:14:19,176 --> 00:14:21,709
- There was a guy on a bicycle.
- So?
303
00:14:21,711 --> 00:14:23,545
That's just too many random elements.
304
00:14:23,547 --> 00:14:26,181
The-the-the stimuli are overwhelming.
305
00:14:26,184 --> 00:14:28,951
Okay. Okay.
306
00:14:31,922 --> 00:14:34,322
I'm sorry. I know I'm letting you down.
307
00:14:34,324 --> 00:14:37,225
Oh, don't be silly.
You're not letting me down.
308
00:14:39,096 --> 00:14:42,163
I love you whether you can drive or not.
309
00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,767
You love me?
310
00:14:48,204 --> 00:14:51,872
Well, I...
311
00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:53,875
I suppose I do.
312
00:14:53,877 --> 00:14:58,713
Am I allowed to reciprocate?
313
00:14:58,715 --> 00:15:02,217
Sure, if that's the way you feel.
314
00:15:02,219 --> 00:15:04,219
Oh, it is.
315
00:15:04,221 --> 00:15:06,554
I love you, too, Connie.
316
00:15:06,556 --> 00:15:09,430
Well...
317
00:15:12,394 --> 00:15:14,161
That's just great.
318
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:16,798
All righty.
319
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:20,435
Would you like to switch seats with me?
320
00:15:20,437 --> 00:15:23,004
Yes, but give me a minute
321
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:25,840
because my legs are a little wobbly.
322
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,877
Is that from the yellow
light or the "I love yous"?
323
00:15:28,879 --> 00:15:30,178
Both.
324
00:15:34,084 --> 00:15:37,118
Dad, would you care for a piece of gum?
325
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,553
No, thank you.
326
00:15:38,555 --> 00:15:40,288
Please, take a piece of gum.
327
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:41,589
Why?
328
00:15:41,591 --> 00:15:42,857
Just please.
329
00:15:46,596 --> 00:15:47,929
Bazinga.
330
00:15:49,711 --> 00:15:51,266
You understand any of that?
331
00:15:51,268 --> 00:15:53,935
I don't know, I guess he's
just being a little boy.
332
00:15:53,937 --> 00:15:55,703
Since when?
333
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,740
Georgie? Georgie?
334
00:15:58,742 --> 00:15:59,941
What?
335
00:15:59,943 --> 00:16:04,180
Would you like some salted mixed nuts?
336
00:16:04,183 --> 00:16:05,279
Nah.
337
00:16:05,282 --> 00:16:07,048
Look, they're the fancy kind.
338
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,583
That's a trick can.
339
00:16:08,585 --> 00:16:10,118
No, it's not.
340
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,253
Listen. When you shake it,
there's a rattling sound,
341
00:16:12,255 --> 00:16:13,788
as if nuts are inside.
342
00:16:14,991 --> 00:16:18,126
Fine.
343
00:16:21,331 --> 00:16:24,098
Bazinga.
344
00:16:25,969 --> 00:16:28,336
Sparks residence, Billy speaking.
345
00:16:28,338 --> 00:16:29,951
This is the electric company.
346
00:16:29,954 --> 00:16:31,060
Hello.
347
00:16:31,063 --> 00:16:33,575
I'm calling to see if your
refrigerator is running.
348
00:16:33,578 --> 00:16:36,078
I'll go check.
349
00:16:39,382 --> 00:16:41,082
I'm back. It's running.
350
00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:43,044
Well, then you better go catch it.
351
00:16:43,047 --> 00:16:45,954
Bazinga.
352
00:16:47,724 --> 00:16:49,568
This is Connie Tucker.
353
00:16:49,571 --> 00:16:52,227
Leave a message when
you hear the... beep.
354
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:56,664
Hello, um, Meemaw,
355
00:16:56,666 --> 00:16:58,166
this is Sheldon.
356
00:16:58,168 --> 00:17:02,737
If you were home, I was going
to say, "Is Mr. Wall there?"
357
00:17:02,739 --> 00:17:04,172
And then you would say, "No."
358
00:17:04,174 --> 00:17:07,175
And then I would say,
"Is Mrs. Wall there?"
359
00:17:07,177 --> 00:17:08,743
And then you would say, "No."
360
00:17:08,745 --> 00:17:11,333
And then I would say,
"Well, if there are no walls,
361
00:17:11,336 --> 00:17:14,282
then how does your roof stay up?"
362
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:17,385
Um, okay. Bazinga.
363
00:17:17,387 --> 00:17:20,822
That was pathetic.
364
00:17:20,824 --> 00:17:22,790
It was.
365
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:26,461
I'm not sure I'm cut out for
these antics and shenanigans.
366
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,896
I guess you're gonna
grow up to be a weirdo.
367
00:17:28,898 --> 00:17:31,199
I suppose I am.
368
00:17:31,201 --> 00:17:33,534
Life is so confusing.
369
00:17:33,536 --> 00:17:36,537
I always hoped it would be easier for me
370
00:17:36,539 --> 00:17:37,939
when I grew up, but...
371
00:17:39,241 --> 00:17:42,242
...now I'm not so sure it will.
372
00:17:42,245 --> 00:17:44,545
It's gonna be all right.
373
00:17:51,855 --> 00:17:53,087
You were faking?
374
00:17:55,524 --> 00:17:57,563
Bazinga.
375
00:17:57,566 --> 00:17:59,365
And that's how I became
376
00:17:59,368 --> 00:18:02,704
the madcap prankster all
my friends know and love.
377
00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:10,070
So, John, how was your
first driving lesson?
378
00:18:10,073 --> 00:18:12,040
Intense.
379
00:18:12,042 --> 00:18:13,274
At one point,
380
00:18:13,276 --> 00:18:15,410
I was approaching an intersection.
381
00:18:15,412 --> 00:18:18,213
The light was green,
but at the last moment,
382
00:18:18,216 --> 00:18:19,715
it turned yellow.
383
00:18:19,718 --> 00:18:20,951
I didn't know what to do.
384
00:18:20,954 --> 00:18:23,518
Should I keep going? Should I stop?
385
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,687
There were other cars nearby.
386
00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:26,955
Connie was yelling.
387
00:18:26,957 --> 00:18:29,560
A glare from the sun was in my eyes.
388
00:18:29,563 --> 00:18:30,792
So, what happened?
389
00:18:30,794 --> 00:18:32,927
Somehow, I managed to make it through,
390
00:18:32,929 --> 00:18:34,794
turned on my directional,
391
00:18:34,797 --> 00:18:36,576
and slowly pulled
392
00:18:36,579 --> 00:18:38,533
to the side of the road.
393
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:42,303
That's how you tell a scary story.
394
00:18:43,586 --> 00:18:46,374
In lighter news, your meemaw loves me.
395
00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:56,051
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