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00:00:07,930 --> 00:00:11,149
ADULT SHELDON: The Clean Air
Act required all new cars
2
00:00:11,150 --> 00:00:13,600
to be equipped with catalytic converters
3
00:00:13,610 --> 00:00:15,599
to combat air pollution.
4
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,829
The first state to do
this was California,
5
00:00:17,830 --> 00:00:20,370
which led Texans to say things like...
6
00:00:20,375 --> 00:00:23,000
- I hate California.
- ADULT SHELDON: And...
7
00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:25,990
When will that place
fall in the ocean? (HACKS)
8
00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,190
ADULT SHELDON: While not
everyone was happy about it,
9
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,799
six years later, one particular Texan
10
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,069
saw an opportunity to get rich quick.
11
00:00:33,070 --> 00:00:35,200
Oh, man, I'm gonna get rich quick.
12
00:00:36,190 --> 00:00:37,900
I just got my ticket out of here.
13
00:00:37,910 --> 00:00:39,069
Adiós.
14
00:00:39,070 --> 00:00:40,899
I'm serious. This thing is full of tips
15
00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:43,417
on how to make a fortune.
Only cost me a dollar.
16
00:00:43,420 --> 00:00:45,549
Is one of the tips
"make a crappy newsletter
17
00:00:45,550 --> 00:00:47,620
and charge idiots a dollar for it"?
18
00:00:48,450 --> 00:00:50,249
No, but not a bad idea.
19
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:54,050
Listen to this: "Raise bees
and sell the honey for profit."
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00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:55,859
Do it, and I'm living with Meemaw.
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00:00:55,860 --> 00:00:58,289
"Sell blood or non-vital organs."
22
00:00:58,290 --> 00:01:00,390
Mm, give 'em your brain.
You're not using it.
23
00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:02,359
(LAUGHS)
24
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,199
I think that's the only time
I've ever heard you laugh.
25
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,299
That's the only time
you've ever been funny.
26
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:11,849
Oh, platinum can be extracted
from ordinary roadside gravel.
27
00:01:11,850 --> 00:01:12,950
No, it can't.
28
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:13,989
Actually, it can.
29
00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:15,839
Catalytic converters contain platinum.
30
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,279
Microparticles of that platinum
31
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:18,679
are expelled in the exhaust
32
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,510
and are mixed in with the gravel.
33
00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,249
See? This thing's a gold mine.
34
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:27,160
It would be more apt to
call it a platinum mine.
35
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,559
I laughed at your joke.
36
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,529
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
37
00:01:33,530 --> 00:01:36,399
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
38
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,049
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
39
00:01:39,050 --> 00:01:41,849
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
40
00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:48,500
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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00:01:50,850 --> 00:01:54,180
- UMPIRE: Strike!
- Keep your eye on the ball.
42
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:57,390
Strike two.
43
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,230
You got this!
44
00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:03,459
Strike three.
45
00:02:03,460 --> 00:02:05,249
- You're out.
- MEEMAW: Hey, ump,
46
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,529
you're blind.
47
00:02:06,530 --> 00:02:08,459
- She swung and missed.
- Fine.
48
00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:10,629
Hey ump, you're bald.
49
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,699
Better?
50
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:15,669
Come on. You can do this, girl.
51
00:02:15,670 --> 00:02:18,359
♪ If I pitch, can you catch... ♪
52
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,270
Strike one.
53
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:21,979
You can do it, sweetheart.
54
00:02:21,980 --> 00:02:24,090
Strike two.
55
00:02:24,940 --> 00:02:26,209
UMPIRE: Strike three.
56
00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:28,279
I still think you can do it, sweetheart.
57
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,019
UMPIRE: Strike one.
58
00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:31,950
Strike two.
59
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,389
Strike three. You're out.
60
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:38,120
Strike one.
61
00:02:38,130 --> 00:02:40,100
Strike two.
62
00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:42,099
Strike three. You're out.
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00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:43,829
♪ I'm a big-league pitcher ♪
64
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,430
♪ Get your bat ready,
baby, hit that ball... ♪
65
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:49,200
It's okay, Cooper.
You'll get 'em next time.
66
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,639
Want to go to Dairy Queen?
67
00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:57,479
I don't deserve Dairy Queen.
68
00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,179
It's not your fault, honey.
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00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:01,759
That other pitcher
was almost a grown man.
70
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,420
I think I saw him at the bar last night.
71
00:03:04,430 --> 00:03:07,099
Y-You're just going
through a little slump.
72
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,459
Happens to everyone.
73
00:03:08,460 --> 00:03:09,959
Well, how do I get out of it?
74
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,049
When I've been at the craps table...
75
00:03:12,050 --> 00:03:13,429
George, you give advice.
76
00:03:13,430 --> 00:03:17,229
Oh, smart. Man's been in
a slump his whole life.
77
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:18,950
You just got to get out of your head.
78
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,930
You... you're thinking too much.
79
00:03:20,940 --> 00:03:23,639
I promise thinking too much
has never been my problem.
80
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,709
When I'm feeling down,
do you know what I do?
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00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:27,659
OTHERS: Pray.
82
00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:28,859
It works.
83
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:31,009
In fact, I'm gonna pray for you tonight.
84
00:03:31,010 --> 00:03:33,179
Everybody prays to God at night.
85
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,700
Do it now while he's got some free time.
86
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,539
Hey what you doing?
87
00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:43,729
Playing a historically accurate
game called The Oregon Trail.
88
00:03:43,730 --> 00:03:45,189
That sounds boring.
89
00:03:45,190 --> 00:03:49,089
Hardly. My wagon broke an axle,
and my wife died of dysentery.
90
00:03:49,090 --> 00:03:50,999
Well, can you pause it for a sec?
91
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,549
It does seems rude to push on to Oregon
92
00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:57,269
while my daughter Mabel is
mourning the loss of her mother.
93
00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:59,559
What can I do for you?
94
00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,190
Remember when we were talking
about platinum in gravel?
95
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,499
Do you know how to get it out?
96
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,109
It's not a complicated principle.
97
00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:08,149
I could probably do it with my
Professor Proton chemistry set.
98
00:04:08,150 --> 00:04:11,480
- Great.
- And an oven that reaches 2,000 degrees.
99
00:04:11,490 --> 00:04:12,789
Does our oven do that?
100
00:04:12,790 --> 00:04:14,730
No, but I read you can build one
101
00:04:14,740 --> 00:04:16,959
out of a garbage can and a leaf blower.
102
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:18,420
Cool. Let's mine some platinum.
103
00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:20,790
No, thank you. I don't care about money.
104
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,550
(VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYING)
105
00:04:26,540 --> 00:04:28,269
But you care about science, right?
106
00:04:28,270 --> 00:04:29,869
- (VIDEO GAME MUSIC STOPS)
- Of course.
107
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,239
So I offer you the
chance to do an experiment
108
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,460
and you'd rather play a video game?
109
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:39,110
What would Professor Proton think?
110
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,999
He'd be disappointed.
111
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,539
So what do you say?
112
00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:48,819
I say we collect gravel.
113
00:04:48,820 --> 00:04:50,690
There you go.
114
00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:53,590
ADULT SHELDON: In case you're worried,
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00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,129
Mabel and I did finally
make it to Oregon,
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00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:59,569
where I remarried and lived
to the ripe old age of 41.
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00:04:59,570 --> 00:05:01,400
(VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYS)
118
00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:06,740
DALE: All right, Cooper,
remember what I told you, okay?
119
00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:08,979
Knees bent, elbows out,
120
00:05:08,980 --> 00:05:10,540
eye on the ball.
121
00:05:10,550 --> 00:05:12,149
(SIGHS) Hang on.
122
00:05:12,150 --> 00:05:15,049
Hi, God. It's Missy Cooper.
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00:05:15,050 --> 00:05:17,699
I know my mom talked to
you about me the other day,
124
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:19,600
and she's, like, your biggest fan.
125
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,140
Hey, what's going on?
126
00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:23,049
What, did you fall asleep?
127
00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:24,399
Sorry, I was praying.
128
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,640
Oh, my apologies.
129
00:05:29,270 --> 00:05:32,569
MISSY: Anyway, I could really
use your help getting a hit.
130
00:05:32,570 --> 00:05:34,299
Amen.
131
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,199
- Okay.
- Are we good?
132
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,020
I don't know. We'll find out.
133
00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:39,259
Okay, remember,
134
00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:40,799
elbows up,
135
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,569
knees bent.
136
00:05:42,570 --> 00:05:44,940
I'm coming at you, Cooper.
137
00:05:50,620 --> 00:05:52,789
Way to go. Perfect.
138
00:05:52,790 --> 00:05:54,520
Thank you, God.
139
00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:56,089
How about, "Thank you, Coach"?
140
00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:57,930
- Thank you, Coach.
- Too late.
141
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,779
This should be a good spot.
142
00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:04,760
It's a high-traffic area,
which means plenty of exhaust,
143
00:06:04,770 --> 00:06:06,469
and therefore plenty of platinum.
144
00:06:06,470 --> 00:06:08,200
Great. Let's get shoveling.
145
00:06:17,380 --> 00:06:18,579
You ain't gonna help?
146
00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:20,150
No.
147
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,649
How was practice?
148
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:26,219
Great. I hit the ball
further than anyone.
149
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:29,289
Sounds like a little
prayer helped after all.
150
00:06:29,290 --> 00:06:32,559
- I guess it did.
- You seem surprised.
151
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,290
Well, God knows everything,
152
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:36,159
and I have some pretty evil thoughts.
153
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,260
Oh, Missy.
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00:06:37,270 --> 00:06:39,169
Ooh, what if I start wearing a cross
155
00:06:39,170 --> 00:06:40,769
so God knows I mean business?
156
00:06:40,770 --> 00:06:43,000
You could also clean up your thinking.
157
00:06:43,010 --> 00:06:44,970
Nah.
158
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:52,049
(TRUCK HORN HONKS)
159
00:06:52,050 --> 00:06:54,549
What's taking so long?
160
00:06:54,550 --> 00:06:56,349
It'd be faster if you helped.
161
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:59,349
Well, we know that's not happening.
162
00:06:59,350 --> 00:07:02,119
MISSY: I know you got your hands
full with all that sad stuff,
163
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:06,229
like disease and war
and hunger and poverty,
164
00:07:06,230 --> 00:07:08,769
so thanks again for helping
me get some hits at practice.
165
00:07:08,770 --> 00:07:09,959
Amen.
166
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,430
Don't forget to ask him to keep
our family safe and healthy.
167
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,120
I just hung up. Don't
make me call him back.
168
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:24,769
Should I be wearing all that?
169
00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:26,769
I recommend it. Those rocks are filthy.
170
00:07:26,770 --> 00:07:27,909
I'm good.
171
00:07:27,910 --> 00:07:29,430
God made dirt. Dirt don't hurt.
172
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:30,869
Where do we start?
173
00:07:30,870 --> 00:07:33,169
The first step is to put the
gravel in these colanders,
174
00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:35,980
and then sift it over the
tray to collect the dust.
175
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:43,079
It's like finding money in the street.
176
00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:45,189
Why do you care so much about money?
177
00:07:45,190 --> 00:07:48,119
You saw Back to the Future
when their dad's rich at the end,
178
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,519
his wife is all skinny
and loves him way more.
179
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,729
So you want a wife who loves
you because you have money?
180
00:07:53,730 --> 00:07:55,700
A skinny wife.
181
00:07:56,730 --> 00:07:58,799
I have something for you.
182
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,099
You said you wanted a cross,
183
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:05,129
and this is the one I used
to wear when I was your age.
184
00:08:05,130 --> 00:08:06,469
It's so pretty.
185
00:08:06,470 --> 00:08:09,039
I'm glad you like it.
186
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,920
It's a nice reminder
that wherever you are,
187
00:08:12,930 --> 00:08:14,660
God is always with you.
188
00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:19,599
And it means a lot to me
that you want to wear it.
189
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,550
Thanks, Mom. I'm gonna pray right now.
190
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,239
God, it's Missy again.
191
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,890
If you can hear me better, it's
'cause I'm wearing a cross now.
192
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:30,059
Please let me get a lot
of hits on Saturday.
193
00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:32,729
And if their star pitcher
breaks his arm or gets run over
194
00:08:32,730 --> 00:08:35,669
by a truck, I'd totally
be okay with that.
195
00:08:35,670 --> 00:08:37,580
Amen.
196
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,779
Amen.
197
00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:41,410
Now we have to sift the powder again
198
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:43,979
because the platinum
particles are extremely small,
199
00:08:43,980 --> 00:08:46,109
sometimes no more than just a few atoms.
200
00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:49,379
If I was as smart as you,
I'd play the stock market.
201
00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:50,919
Or go on Price Is Right.
202
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,719
I'd rather spend my time
focusing on important things,
203
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,440
like figuring out how
the universe works.
204
00:08:56,450 --> 00:09:00,689
So, say you figure out how
the universe works. Then what?
205
00:09:00,690 --> 00:09:03,099
I'm not sure, but in the meantime,
206
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:04,679
I agree with Richard Feynman.
207
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:07,869
I simply enjoy the pleasure
of finding things out.
208
00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:09,169
I agree with the Beastie Boys.
209
00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:11,400
You got to fight for
your right to party.
210
00:09:11,410 --> 00:09:14,309
Well, it's good to have
a personal philosophy.
211
00:09:14,310 --> 00:09:17,060
- GEORGE JR.: What's next?
- We create a chemical flux
212
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:19,409
by combining borax, sodium carbonate,
213
00:09:19,410 --> 00:09:20,849
lead oxide and flour.
214
00:09:20,850 --> 00:09:22,679
Did you know Sheldon and Georgie
215
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,080
are working on something together?
216
00:09:24,090 --> 00:09:26,509
That's nice. And guess what...
217
00:09:26,510 --> 00:09:28,719
Missy asked me if she
could wear a cross.
218
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,789
She's in her bedroom
saying prayers right now.
219
00:09:31,790 --> 00:09:34,090
Hmm. I don't like it.
220
00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:36,560
What are you talking about?
Our kids are behaving.
221
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,299
Exactly. Something bad's gonna happen.
222
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:40,899
Why can't you just be thankful?
223
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:43,579
Because that's when life kicks
you right in the plums, Mary.
224
00:09:43,580 --> 00:09:46,000
Dad, where's your power drill?
225
00:09:46,010 --> 00:09:48,709
- Why?
- Our oven doesn't reach 2,000 degrees,
226
00:09:48,710 --> 00:09:50,479
so we're going to make a homemade kiln
227
00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:51,779
out of a garbage can.
228
00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:53,279
And there go the plums.
229
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,979
Are you two trying to
burn down the house?
230
00:09:55,980 --> 00:09:58,119
No, we're trying to make
platinum out of gravel.
231
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,289
You're not building a 2,000-degree oven.
232
00:10:00,290 --> 00:10:03,410
Fine. Just so you know,
I was gonna cut you in.
233
00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:06,830
Really? You'll fight
for your right to party
234
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,169
but not for your right to make a device
235
00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:10,069
that'll exceed the
melting point of lead?
236
00:10:10,070 --> 00:10:11,199
GEORGE JR.: Shut up.
237
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,400
Ooh, "Why can't you be thankful?"
238
00:10:17,510 --> 00:10:18,769
What's your problem?
239
00:10:18,770 --> 00:10:20,769
Mom and Dad won't let me build a kiln,
240
00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:23,389
so Georgie and I can't
finish our experiment.
241
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,840
Before you tell me, I
don't care what a kiln is.
242
00:10:25,850 --> 00:10:28,349
Okay, but you'll never know
it's a high-temperature oven.
243
00:10:28,350 --> 00:10:31,189
If you're unhappy,
just ask God for help.
244
00:10:31,190 --> 00:10:32,580
I don't believe in God.
245
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,709
(SHUSHES) He can hear you.
246
00:10:34,710 --> 00:10:36,589
He knows if you've been bad or good.
247
00:10:36,590 --> 00:10:38,999
Like Santa, but he can send you to hell.
248
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,829
I'm not going to ask some magical being
249
00:10:40,830 --> 00:10:42,160
to solve my problems.
250
00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:44,760
I asked him to help me
with my batting, and he did.
251
00:10:47,670 --> 00:10:51,300
There's a pottery kiln in
art class. We can use that.
252
00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:52,389
(DOOR OPENS)
253
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:54,770
Georgie, I figured it out!
254
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:58,660
Good job, but that does not
count as one of my wishes.
255
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,599
Why are we being sneaky?
256
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,289
I thought you said we have permission.
257
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:09,980
We do. I just don't want anybody
knowing about our platinum.
258
00:11:09,990 --> 00:11:12,580
Smart. Last week, I bragged
about having a Nutter Butter,
259
00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:15,090
and some rat stole it
right out of my lunch bag.
260
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:17,679
Well, it sure wasn't me.
261
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:20,029
And then I hit it over
the right fielder's head.
262
00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:21,769
Sounds like you had a good practice.
263
00:11:21,770 --> 00:11:24,100
I did. Coach said he's
gonna have me hit cleanup.
264
00:11:24,110 --> 00:11:25,219
BILLY: Missy,
265
00:11:25,220 --> 00:11:27,089
will you rub your cross on my bat?
266
00:11:27,090 --> 00:11:28,109
No.
267
00:11:28,110 --> 00:11:29,419
Have you been doing that?
268
00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:31,309
On mine. It's working great.
269
00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:32,509
Please?
270
00:11:32,510 --> 00:11:34,379
I'll give you a dollar.
271
00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:35,889
Fine.
272
00:11:35,890 --> 00:11:37,620
What do you think you're doing?
273
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,749
Sharing God's love and making some cash.
274
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:41,250
Absolutely not.
275
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:42,919
How about I give you the dollar?
276
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,629
God's love has nothing to do with money.
277
00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:47,340
What about the collection
plate at church?
278
00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:49,375
That is different.
279
00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:50,917
That's where I found this dollar.
280
00:11:50,930 --> 00:11:52,460
Okay. (SIGHS)
281
00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:54,050
Bye.
282
00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:56,030
So now we just wait
for the concrete dust
283
00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,039
to dissolve and the lead to melt?
284
00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,639
That's exactly right.
285
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,209
I know. I listen.
286
00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:03,570
- And you understand it?
- I work in sales.
287
00:12:03,580 --> 00:12:05,040
I don't need to know
what I'm talking about
288
00:12:05,050 --> 00:12:06,379
to make it sound good.
289
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:08,119
Don't you think it would
make you better at your job
290
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,089
if you understood the
products you were selling?
291
00:12:10,090 --> 00:12:13,149
- No. People don't want to hear facts.
- I do.
292
00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:15,350
Normal people don't want to hear facts.
293
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,619
I'm normal.
294
00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:17,859
Are you?
295
00:12:17,860 --> 00:12:19,930
No, I'm special.
296
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:23,390
- Is it supposed to be doing that?
- Something's wrong.
297
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,959
Maybe we didn't sift out all the rubber.
298
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,329
- I think it's burning.
- Okay.
299
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:28,199
Okay, calm down. I'll handle it.
300
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,550
I'm having difficulty remaining calm.
301
00:12:33,870 --> 00:12:35,969
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
302
00:12:35,970 --> 00:12:38,480
(ALARM RINGING)
303
00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:41,540
I'm feeling more calm now.
304
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:47,719
- What were you thinking?
- Well...
305
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,299
I don't want to hear excuses.
306
00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:51,429
You could've burned the school down.
307
00:12:51,430 --> 00:12:53,049
What do you have to say for yourselves?
308
00:12:53,050 --> 00:12:55,670
I thought you didn't
want to hear my excuses.
309
00:12:55,730 --> 00:12:57,680
Oh, no, we didn't break
into the classroom.
310
00:12:57,690 --> 00:12:59,569
Georgie had permission from the teacher.
311
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:01,120
That is not important right now.
312
00:13:01,130 --> 00:13:03,040
So you think a teacher said it was okay
313
00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:04,790
for a ten-year-old and an idiot
314
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,570
to use a 2,000-degree oven unsupervised?
315
00:13:09,670 --> 00:13:11,330
You fibber.
316
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:14,610
(GASPS) You also stole my Nutter Butter.
317
00:13:19,980 --> 00:13:21,779
Are you mad at me?
318
00:13:21,780 --> 00:13:23,839
- No.
- You sure?
319
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:26,610
'Cause that's how you look when
Dad had that breakfast beer.
320
00:13:29,020 --> 00:13:33,359
To be honest, I'm a little
concerned that I have given you
321
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,989
the wrong impression
about how prayer works.
322
00:13:35,990 --> 00:13:38,859
I get it. I ask God for
stuff, he gives it to me.
323
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:39,880
It's not rocket science.
324
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:43,029
Missy, God does not grant wishes.
325
00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:44,640
So he gave me good luck?
326
00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:47,049
(SIGHS) It's not luck.
327
00:13:47,050 --> 00:13:50,820
Luck is chance, and God has a plan.
328
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,999
Right, and his plan is to give
me what I want when I pray.
329
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,369
That's why he's so cool.
330
00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:58,549
No. I... I mean, he is cool,
331
00:13:58,550 --> 00:14:01,290
but sometimes that
might not be his plan.
332
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:02,649
Then what's the point of praying
333
00:14:02,650 --> 00:14:04,140
if he's just gonna do what he wants?
334
00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:06,689
You don't pray to God to get things.
335
00:14:06,690 --> 00:14:09,740
You pray to build a
relationship with him.
336
00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:13,560
This is too complicated.
I'm just gonna keep
337
00:14:13,580 --> 00:14:15,450
rubbing this thing on
my bat and kicking butt.
338
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:18,199
Okay, that is it. Take it off.
339
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,320
No, I need it. The game's Saturday.
340
00:14:20,350 --> 00:14:22,949
There are more important
things than baseball.
341
00:14:22,950 --> 00:14:24,549
Now, hand it over.
342
00:14:24,550 --> 00:14:26,489
God, cover your ears.
343
00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:27,989
Damn it.
344
00:14:27,990 --> 00:14:29,549
Missy Cooper!
345
00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:32,249
You are not ready for
that. You give that back.
346
00:14:32,250 --> 00:14:34,860
Oh, you... Get!
347
00:14:38,260 --> 00:14:42,089
MARY: Lord, I really need you right now.
348
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:46,220
I have tried so hard to lead
my family to your light,
349
00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:50,020
but so far, Sheldon
doesn't believe in you,
350
00:14:50,030 --> 00:14:52,449
Missy thinks you're a magic trick,
351
00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:53,919
and you're not a teenage girl,
352
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:56,820
so Georgie doesn't
think about you at all.
353
00:14:56,830 --> 00:15:00,429
I never thought I'd take a
cross away from my own child,
354
00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:02,630
but what choice did I have?
355
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,479
She was rubbing it on
sporting equipment.
356
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,560
I didn't think there
was a wrong way to pray,
357
00:15:07,570 --> 00:15:10,219
but leave it to that girl to find one.
358
00:15:10,220 --> 00:15:14,949
Please give me the strength to
keep guiding my family to you.
359
00:15:14,950 --> 00:15:18,360
I can't do it on my own. Amen.
360
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,290
So, how was everybody's day?
361
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:25,570
(THROAT CLEARING)
362
00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:29,099
That good, huh?
363
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,970
How about we just say grace?
364
00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:34,009
You're gonna ask him to
bless the food? Interesting.
365
00:15:34,010 --> 00:15:35,249
That is enough.
366
00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:36,589
Oh, come on.
367
00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:38,510
How can I appreciate all this tension
368
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,149
if I don't know what it's about?
369
00:15:40,150 --> 00:15:43,019
Mom took my cross away, and
I have a game on Saturday.
370
00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:45,869
Why would you do that?
She's out of the slump.
371
00:15:45,870 --> 00:15:47,570
She was being sacrilegious.
372
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:48,809
Mary, this is sports.
373
00:15:48,810 --> 00:15:50,759
When something's working,
you do not mess with it.
374
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:54,439
I am not changing my mind.
God is not a good-luck charm.
375
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,919
Well, how about all the
players that kiss their crosses
376
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,750
before they go in the batter's box?
377
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,080
They can take it up with their mommies.
378
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:02,589
So she's finally hitting good,
379
00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:04,809
and you're gonna let her go to
that game all up in her head?
380
00:16:04,810 --> 00:16:06,740
Her relationship with
God is more important
381
00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:09,179
than getting some hits
in a baseball game.
382
00:16:09,180 --> 00:16:10,879
This is perfect. They're
mad at each other.
383
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,040
Takes the heat off us.
384
00:16:12,070 --> 00:16:15,349
Thank you. I had no
idea what was going on.
385
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,919
Mary, give her the cross back.
386
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:20,319
When she is ready for it, I will.
387
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,759
I have a bunch of
crosses in my jewelry box.
388
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,829
You can take any one you want.
389
00:16:24,830 --> 00:16:28,140
I don't want another cross.
I want my lucky cross.
390
00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:30,639
And that is exactly
why she is not ready.
391
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,620
Let's say grace.
392
00:16:32,870 --> 00:16:35,069
(MARY SIGHS)
393
00:16:35,070 --> 00:16:37,649
Bless us, Lord, for the
food we are about to receive,
394
00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:39,640
and bless the hands
that prepared it. Amen.
395
00:16:39,660 --> 00:16:40,680
ALL: Amen.
396
00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:42,060
Amen.
397
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,680
I'm glad we're no longer in trouble
398
00:16:47,690 --> 00:16:50,019
for almost burning the school down.
399
00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:51,340
MEEMAW: Ooh.
400
00:16:51,350 --> 00:16:53,080
Let's talk about that.
401
00:17:01,060 --> 00:17:02,429
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- SHELDON: Georgie.
402
00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:04,000
Yeah?
403
00:17:05,030 --> 00:17:07,380
Are you still interested
in getting rich quick?
404
00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:10,480
No, I want to do it slow like a chump.
405
00:17:10,490 --> 00:17:12,050
Oh. Never mind.
406
00:17:12,100 --> 00:17:13,469
Tell me, Sheldon.
407
00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:16,239
It occurred to me that
a good way to generate
408
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:18,160
a positive cash flow would be to curate
409
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:20,849
popular songs and make them
available in a digital form.
410
00:17:20,850 --> 00:17:22,949
Possibly on a small device
that could also be used
411
00:17:22,950 --> 00:17:24,679
as a phone or even a camera.
412
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,680
Right. A phone, camera, music machine.
413
00:17:27,690 --> 00:17:29,042
Get out of here.
414
00:17:32,910 --> 00:17:34,919
Psst. Hey, Missy.
415
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,609
Come here.
416
00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:38,130
What? I'm up next.
417
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,040
I know. Here.
418
00:17:43,990 --> 00:17:45,730
Don't tell your mother.
419
00:17:47,190 --> 00:17:50,589
- I think I want to do this on my own.
- You sure?
420
00:17:50,590 --> 00:17:53,700
Just in case Mom's right, I
don't want to make God mad.
421
00:17:53,710 --> 00:17:56,059
UMPIRE: Strike three. You're out.
422
00:17:56,060 --> 00:17:57,680
All right. Go get 'em.
423
00:18:09,580 --> 00:18:11,170
- Strike one!
- Dad!
424
00:18:11,180 --> 00:18:12,509
GEORGE SR.: Coming!
425
00:18:12,510 --> 00:18:16,360
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