1
00:00:06,249 --> 00:00:08,041
Garden's looking nice.
2
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:12,755
Well, not to commit the
sin of pride, but I know.
3
00:00:12,756 --> 00:00:14,423
How did you come out of me?
4
00:00:14,424 --> 00:00:15,715
So, good news.
5
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,441
John's coming home on Friday.
6
00:00:17,442 --> 00:00:18,833
That's wonderful.
7
00:00:18,834 --> 00:00:20,258
It is.
8
00:00:20,259 --> 00:00:21,616
You must be thrilled.
9
00:00:21,617 --> 00:00:23,692
Oh, I am.
10
00:00:23,693 --> 00:00:25,585
Mm. Little nervous?
11
00:00:25,586 --> 00:00:27,107
No. No.
12
00:00:27,108 --> 00:00:28,299
No.
13
00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:30,321
Be understandable if you were.
14
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:33,825
The man has been in
a mental institution.
15
00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:36,394
All I know is he sounded
like himself on the phone,
16
00:00:36,395 --> 00:00:38,963
and the doctors say he's good to go.
17
00:00:38,964 --> 00:00:40,932
Well, that's great.
18
00:00:40,933 --> 00:00:44,202
It is. I'm excited.
19
00:00:44,203 --> 00:00:46,137
Well, good.
20
00:00:46,138 --> 00:00:48,940
Very excited.
21
00:00:48,941 --> 00:00:50,608
Okay.
22
00:00:50,609 --> 00:00:52,277
I'm gonna get another beer.
23
00:00:52,278 --> 00:00:54,079
'Cause you're so excited?
24
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,314
You know it!
25
00:00:56,315 --> 00:00:59,250
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
26
00:00:59,251 --> 00:01:01,853
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
27
00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:04,556
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
28
00:01:04,557 --> 00:01:07,582
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
29
00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:11,252
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
30
00:01:11,253 --> 00:01:13,565
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
31
00:01:13,566 --> 00:01:14,999
We need to have a talk.
32
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,001
Georgie, get in here!
33
00:01:17,002 --> 00:01:18,303
Are we in trouble?
34
00:01:18,304 --> 00:01:19,928
No one's in trouble.
35
00:01:19,929 --> 00:01:21,606
- What's going on?
- Have a seat.
36
00:01:21,607 --> 00:01:23,162
You're also getting talked to.
37
00:01:23,163 --> 00:01:24,676
Sit.
38
00:01:24,677 --> 00:01:25,877
Ha.
39
00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:26,945
Okay,
40
00:01:26,946 --> 00:01:30,081
Dr. Sturgis will be
joining us for dinner.
41
00:01:30,082 --> 00:01:31,282
Hot darn.
42
00:01:31,283 --> 00:01:32,484
That guy's back?
43
00:01:32,485 --> 00:01:33,952
I thought he was in the nut house.
44
00:01:33,953 --> 00:01:35,420
We do not call it that.
45
00:01:35,421 --> 00:01:36,988
That's what Dad calls it.
46
00:01:36,989 --> 00:01:38,490
And that's why I made him sit.
47
00:01:38,491 --> 00:01:42,393
We need to make sure that
Dr. Sturgis feels comfortable.
48
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:43,895
And how are we supposed to do that?
49
00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:47,232
For starters, do not bring
up his time in the hospital.
50
00:01:47,233 --> 00:01:48,566
What if he brings it up?
51
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:51,236
You let the grown-ups handle that.
52
00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:53,571
In this scenario, am
I one of the grown-ups?
53
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:54,772
No.
54
00:01:54,773 --> 00:01:56,883
- Great.
- You also will not
55
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,309
stare at him during dinner.
56
00:01:58,310 --> 00:01:59,944
Can I look at him at all?
57
00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:01,079
Yes.
58
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,515
How long can I look at him
before it's considered staring?
59
00:02:03,516 --> 00:02:05,396
When I'm trying not to stare at girls,
60
00:02:05,397 --> 00:02:07,085
my rule is "two Mississippi".
61
00:02:07,086 --> 00:02:08,319
I taught him that.
62
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,456
Just be on your best behavior.
63
00:02:11,457 --> 00:02:13,791
And if you're not sure if
you should say something,
64
00:02:13,792 --> 00:02:15,660
do not say it.
65
00:02:17,729 --> 00:02:19,764
- What?
- Hey, it works.
66
00:02:19,765 --> 00:02:22,300
When I hit three
Mississippis, she noticed.
67
00:02:22,301 --> 00:02:23,301
See?
68
00:02:23,302 --> 00:02:25,470
Told you.
69
00:02:27,239 --> 00:02:29,440
Meemaw and Dr. Sturgis are out front.
70
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,743
They're walking up the path.
71
00:02:31,744 --> 00:02:33,444
They see me.
72
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,013
I'm waving.
73
00:02:35,014 --> 00:02:37,248
They waved back.
74
00:02:37,249 --> 00:02:39,751
They're close to the door.
75
00:02:39,752 --> 00:02:41,452
Even closer.
76
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,154
Almost there.
77
00:02:43,155 --> 00:02:44,556
Door...
78
00:02:44,557 --> 00:02:46,257
... bell!
79
00:02:46,258 --> 00:02:48,293
Remember everything we talked about.
80
00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:49,827
Welcome!
81
00:02:49,828 --> 00:02:51,596
Look who I brought!
82
00:02:51,597 --> 00:02:53,031
Hello!
83
00:02:53,032 --> 00:02:54,566
Come in, come in.
84
00:02:54,567 --> 00:02:56,501
It's so good to see you.
85
00:02:56,502 --> 00:02:58,269
I don't normally do this, but...
86
00:02:58,270 --> 00:02:59,771
put her there.
87
00:02:59,772 --> 00:03:01,437
No mitten.
88
00:03:01,438 --> 00:03:02,640
I'm honored.
89
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,349
It's just so wonderful
to see you all again.
90
00:03:11,350 --> 00:03:13,412
We've been looking forward to it.
91
00:03:13,413 --> 00:03:14,419
We sure have.
92
00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:15,820
One Mississippi,
93
00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,288
two Mississippi.
94
00:03:19,959 --> 00:03:22,327
Uh, why are you counting?
95
00:03:22,328 --> 00:03:24,762
You know Shelly. He loves his numbers.
96
00:03:24,763 --> 00:03:25,763
Let's say grace.
97
00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:30,401
Bless us, Lord, for the
food we are about to receive
98
00:03:30,402 --> 00:03:32,963
and bless the hands
that prepared it. Amen.
99
00:03:32,964 --> 00:03:35,039
- Amen.
- Dig in.
100
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,130
Oh, I am so excited to
have a home-cooked meal.
101
00:03:38,131 --> 00:03:42,159
The food in the
hospital was bland-arino.
102
00:03:43,515 --> 00:03:47,114
Uh, be sure to save room for dessert.
103
00:03:47,115 --> 00:03:48,411
I made banana pudding.
104
00:03:48,412 --> 00:03:50,747
George, tell him how
good my banana pudding is.
105
00:03:50,748 --> 00:03:52,749
Good pudding.
106
00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:54,217
Lot of bananas.
107
00:03:54,218 --> 00:03:57,287
Well, now, pardon me
if I'm wrong, but...
108
00:03:57,288 --> 00:04:01,291
I would totally understand if
any of you felt uncomfortable
109
00:04:01,292 --> 00:04:03,792
about me being here after my time
110
00:04:03,793 --> 00:04:04,828
in the hospital.
111
00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:06,893
Oh, no, we're very comfortable.
112
00:04:06,894 --> 00:04:08,295
Very comfortable.
113
00:04:08,296 --> 00:04:10,737
Well, just in case,
114
00:04:10,738 --> 00:04:11,975
I want you all to know
115
00:04:11,976 --> 00:04:15,081
I'm perfectly happy
to answer any questions
116
00:04:15,082 --> 00:04:16,380
that you might have.
117
00:04:17,482 --> 00:04:19,616
You sure you want to do that?
118
00:04:19,617 --> 00:04:20,617
Of course.
119
00:04:20,618 --> 00:04:23,689
The best way to destigmatize something
120
00:04:23,690 --> 00:04:24,821
is to talk about it.
121
00:04:25,823 --> 00:04:27,023
May I?
122
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,961
Um, go ahead.
123
00:04:32,749 --> 00:04:36,075
Why wasn't I allowed to visit you?
124
00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,834
Some of the other patients there
125
00:04:37,835 --> 00:04:39,602
were very unwell,
126
00:04:39,603 --> 00:04:44,140
and I didn't want you to be
disturbed by their behavior.
127
00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:46,451
I got one.
128
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:47,685
Here we go.
129
00:04:47,686 --> 00:04:49,587
Did they lock you up in a room?
130
00:04:49,588 --> 00:04:51,999
I wasn't able to leave the hospital
131
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,443
without being discharged,
132
00:04:53,444 --> 00:04:56,513
but I was free to walk the grounds.
133
00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:59,897
How did you know when
you were all better?
134
00:04:59,898 --> 00:05:01,566
Well, it's not like a cold,
135
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:03,668
where you have it and then you don't.
136
00:05:03,669 --> 00:05:06,444
But I've learned skills that, uh,
137
00:05:06,445 --> 00:05:08,940
help me to manage my mental health.
138
00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:11,476
Well, that went over my head.
139
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:12,910
I got another one.
140
00:05:12,911 --> 00:05:15,144
In The Shining, Jack Nicholson goes nuts
141
00:05:15,145 --> 00:05:16,914
and chases people around with an ax...
142
00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:19,095
- One question each.
- Dang it.
143
00:05:19,096 --> 00:05:21,164
Should've started with that one.
144
00:05:22,318 --> 00:05:24,009
How 'bout a little nightcap?
145
00:05:24,010 --> 00:05:25,623
Oh, I don't think so.
146
00:05:25,624 --> 00:05:27,959
Got to ride the old bike home.
147
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,093
Oh?
148
00:05:29,094 --> 00:05:31,195
I thought you were staying the night.
149
00:05:31,196 --> 00:05:33,665
I wasn't planning on it.
150
00:05:34,466 --> 00:05:35,667
Oh.
151
00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,468
Okay.
152
00:05:37,469 --> 00:05:39,904
Now that we're talking about this, um,
153
00:05:39,905 --> 00:05:43,775
we've never really discussed
the status of our relationship.
154
00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:46,544
Don't you worry.
155
00:05:47,646 --> 00:05:50,448
As far as I'm concerned, we just...
156
00:05:50,449 --> 00:05:53,651
pick up right where we left off.
157
00:05:54,453 --> 00:05:56,154
That means a lot.
158
00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:57,789
But, um...
159
00:05:57,790 --> 00:06:00,725
I think it's for the best if we don't.
160
00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:04,662
- What?
- I hope we can still be friends.
161
00:06:04,663 --> 00:06:07,274
But, um, I don't think
162
00:06:07,275 --> 00:06:10,334
we should be in a romantic
relationship anymore.
163
00:06:10,335 --> 00:06:11,536
Are you crazy?
164
00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:13,971
I mean, poor choice of words, but...
165
00:06:13,972 --> 00:06:15,573
are you crazy?!
166
00:06:19,892 --> 00:06:23,161
Do you... I... Do you
mean you-you really
167
00:06:23,162 --> 00:06:24,996
don't want to see me anymore?
168
00:06:24,997 --> 00:06:27,265
Don't I get a say in that?
169
00:06:27,266 --> 00:06:28,466
Um...
170
00:06:28,467 --> 00:06:29,467
No.
171
00:06:29,468 --> 00:06:32,361
Really? I-I kind of think I do.
172
00:06:32,362 --> 00:06:34,885
Connie, if I'm single
and have another episode,
173
00:06:34,886 --> 00:06:35,973
it only hurts me.
174
00:06:35,974 --> 00:06:38,073
If we're together, that hurts you,
175
00:06:38,074 --> 00:06:39,978
and I can't do that again.
176
00:06:39,979 --> 00:06:43,982
I have been waiting
for you this whole time.
177
00:06:43,983 --> 00:06:46,250
Just more proof that
you're a wonderful woman
178
00:06:46,251 --> 00:06:48,586
and you deserve someone
you can count on.
179
00:06:49,955 --> 00:06:52,890
How about Ira from the furniture store?
180
00:06:52,891 --> 00:06:53,958
He's a catch.
181
00:06:53,959 --> 00:06:56,594
Now you're gonna play matchmaker for me?
182
00:06:56,595 --> 00:06:58,229
I suppose I am.
183
00:06:58,230 --> 00:07:01,766
You realize I could call him right now.
184
00:07:01,767 --> 00:07:03,034
I think you should.
185
00:07:03,035 --> 00:07:05,036
You better mean it, 'cause I'll do it.
186
00:07:05,037 --> 00:07:07,005
No time like the present.
187
00:07:10,275 --> 00:07:11,609
I'm doing it.
188
00:07:13,879 --> 00:07:15,546
I'm dialing.
189
00:07:15,547 --> 00:07:16,981
Great.
190
00:07:21,453 --> 00:07:22,654
It's ringing.
191
00:07:22,655 --> 00:07:24,322
Tell him I said hi.
192
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:29,281
Rosenbloom's Fine
Furniture. Ira speaking.
193
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,129
Hello, Ira.
194
00:07:31,130 --> 00:07:33,698
It's Connie Tucker.
195
00:07:33,699 --> 00:07:36,067
Connie. Oh, my gosh.
196
00:07:36,068 --> 00:07:37,268
How are you?
197
00:07:37,269 --> 00:07:39,570
He wants to know how I am.
198
00:07:39,571 --> 00:07:41,105
Tell him.
199
00:07:41,106 --> 00:07:43,574
I'll call you back.
200
00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:46,549
Can you believe it?
201
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:49,013
It sounds like he has
your best interests at heart.
202
00:07:49,014 --> 00:07:50,982
Men don't break up with me.
203
00:07:50,983 --> 00:07:52,350
I do the breaking up.
204
00:07:52,351 --> 00:07:55,586
Well, I think it's nice that you
can still experience new things
205
00:07:55,587 --> 00:07:56,621
at your age.
206
00:07:56,622 --> 00:07:58,923
Keep it up, and you won't get to my age.
207
00:07:58,924 --> 00:08:01,059
So, are you gonna go out with Ira?
208
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:02,927
Well, I don't know why not.
209
00:08:02,928 --> 00:08:04,769
Is that really what you want?
210
00:08:04,770 --> 00:08:07,323
Well, I'm sure as hell not
gonna sit home by myself
211
00:08:07,324 --> 00:08:08,763
while I try and figure it out.
212
00:08:08,764 --> 00:08:11,436
Doesn't sound like
you're being nice to Ira.
213
00:08:11,437 --> 00:08:14,105
She's not nice. Been
saying it for years.
214
00:08:18,633 --> 00:08:20,424
Mom,
215
00:08:20,425 --> 00:08:22,513
will Dr. Sturgis be coming over again?
216
00:08:22,514 --> 00:08:24,382
Oh. Um...
217
00:08:24,383 --> 00:08:26,555
- I don't know.
- He should.
218
00:08:26,556 --> 00:08:28,726
We had so much fun talking
about the mental hospital,
219
00:08:28,727 --> 00:08:30,421
we barely got to talk about science.
220
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,824
Well, I don't know what his plans are.
221
00:08:32,825 --> 00:08:34,559
Is Meemaw coming for dinner tonight?
222
00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,394
No. She is busy.
223
00:08:36,395 --> 00:08:39,078
With Dr. Sturgis? Maybe I can join them.
224
00:08:39,079 --> 00:08:41,083
All my fun facts make
me a welcome addition
225
00:08:41,084 --> 00:08:42,166
to any dinner date.
226
00:08:43,571 --> 00:08:45,939
She's not gonna be with
Dr. Sturgis, sweetie.
227
00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:49,009
Then I don't understand
why I can't invite him over.
228
00:08:51,812 --> 00:08:56,449
Your meemaw and Dr. Sturgis are...
229
00:08:56,450 --> 00:08:59,709
figuring out how their
relationship is gonna work
230
00:08:59,710 --> 00:09:00,787
now that he's back.
231
00:09:00,788 --> 00:09:04,324
Why does their relationship
need to be any different?
232
00:09:05,159 --> 00:09:07,093
It's complicated.
233
00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:10,363
So, we can't have him over?
234
00:09:10,364 --> 00:09:13,566
Sorry. It's just not
a good idea right now.
235
00:09:13,567 --> 00:09:15,635
This isn't fair.
236
00:09:15,636 --> 00:09:19,366
I find the one person in
Texas who understands me
237
00:09:19,367 --> 00:09:21,835
and now I'm not allowed to see him?
238
00:09:21,836 --> 00:09:24,004
Hello!
239
00:09:24,005 --> 00:09:27,407
- Come in.
- So, uh, Connie is, uh,
240
00:09:27,408 --> 00:09:29,676
okay with my being here?
241
00:09:29,677 --> 00:09:32,330
Don't worry about it
or, you know, mention it.
242
00:09:32,331 --> 00:09:34,314
Well, here's a pineapple.
243
00:09:34,315 --> 00:09:36,419
It's a symbol of hospitality
244
00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:38,797
dating back to the 1700s.
245
00:09:38,798 --> 00:09:40,665
Thank you. How...
246
00:09:40,666 --> 00:09:42,367
tropical.
247
00:09:42,368 --> 00:09:45,207
Dr. Sturgis, hello!
248
00:09:45,208 --> 00:09:46,561
Hi!
249
00:09:46,562 --> 00:09:50,275
Ooh. Did you know the pineapple
is a symbol of hospitality?
250
00:09:50,276 --> 00:09:52,010
As a matter of fact, I did.
251
00:09:52,011 --> 00:09:54,245
You're welcome!
252
00:09:55,081 --> 00:09:56,381
I got to tell you,
253
00:09:56,382 --> 00:09:59,250
this is an unexpected surprise.
254
00:09:59,251 --> 00:10:01,453
Here's to surprises.
255
00:10:02,888 --> 00:10:04,622
'Cause last I heard,
256
00:10:04,623 --> 00:10:06,191
you and John were still going out.
257
00:10:06,192 --> 00:10:07,859
Well, now I'm not,
and I'm here with you,
258
00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:09,661
so let's not talk about him.
259
00:10:09,662 --> 00:10:12,464
Ooh. Sounds like this
breakup is a little fresh.
260
00:10:12,465 --> 00:10:13,932
Yeah, it was pretty recent.
261
00:10:13,933 --> 00:10:15,133
What, like, a week? Month?
262
00:10:15,134 --> 00:10:17,608
Literally as I was calling you.
263
00:10:17,609 --> 00:10:21,072
Well, I'm glad that I was the
first person that came to mind.
264
00:10:21,073 --> 00:10:23,675
Actually, you were his idea.
265
00:10:23,676 --> 00:10:25,477
Still glad.
266
00:10:28,370 --> 00:10:30,495
Really? This again?
267
00:10:30,496 --> 00:10:32,217
Just sit.
268
00:10:32,218 --> 00:10:33,651
Where's Meemaw?
269
00:10:33,652 --> 00:10:35,077
Not here tonight.
270
00:10:35,078 --> 00:10:37,217
- Why?
- As I understand it,
271
00:10:37,218 --> 00:10:39,443
now that Dr. Sturgis is
back from the hospital,
272
00:10:39,444 --> 00:10:40,835
he and Meemaw are figuring out
273
00:10:40,836 --> 00:10:42,761
how their relationship is going to work.
274
00:10:42,762 --> 00:10:44,095
What does that mean?
275
00:10:44,096 --> 00:10:45,730
Sounds like she dumped him.
276
00:10:45,731 --> 00:10:48,233
- Actually, he's the one...
- Sheldon, didn't you want
277
00:10:48,234 --> 00:10:50,268
- to talk about science stuff?
- Yes.
278
00:10:50,269 --> 00:10:51,770
- Good. Do that right now.
- Well,
279
00:10:51,771 --> 00:10:55,197
I realize being here after ending
280
00:10:55,198 --> 00:10:58,309
my romantic relationship
with Connie is unusual.
281
00:10:58,310 --> 00:11:00,432
So, as before,
282
00:11:00,433 --> 00:11:01,729
I'm perfectly happy
283
00:11:01,730 --> 00:11:05,370
to answer any questions
that you might have.
284
00:11:05,371 --> 00:11:06,596
I have a question.
285
00:11:06,597 --> 00:11:08,520
Can I eat in front of the TV?
286
00:11:08,521 --> 00:11:10,388
Sure.
287
00:11:10,389 --> 00:11:12,157
Let's get back to The Shining.
288
00:11:12,158 --> 00:11:16,227
When them elevator doors open, oh, man.
289
00:11:21,369 --> 00:11:23,139
Let me get this straight. Your boyfriend
290
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,540
comes home from the mental hospital,
291
00:11:24,541 --> 00:11:25,641
he dumps you,
292
00:11:25,642 --> 00:11:27,737
and he suggests that you go out with me?
293
00:11:27,738 --> 00:11:30,312
- Yeah.
- Sounds like a spite date.
294
00:11:30,313 --> 00:11:33,338
Well, gosh, when you say it
like that, doesn't sound great.
295
00:11:33,339 --> 00:11:34,885
No. No, no, I'm fine with it. I just...
296
00:11:34,886 --> 00:11:36,487
I want to make sure I
got everything right.
297
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,989
Hospital, dumped, spite.
298
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,257
You got it.
299
00:11:40,258 --> 00:11:43,494
All right. I hear the
creamed spinach is terrific.
300
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:45,829
How do relationships
work for old people?
301
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:48,566
When you were young, you didn't
think old women looked hot.
302
00:11:48,567 --> 00:11:50,801
But now that you're old, do you?
303
00:11:50,802 --> 00:11:53,170
Well, that's a very
interesting question.
304
00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:55,205
Can I speak to you in the kitchen?
305
00:11:55,206 --> 00:11:57,241
- I want to hear the answer.
- I've always found
306
00:11:57,242 --> 00:12:00,411
your grandmother to be very hot stuff.
307
00:12:00,412 --> 00:12:01,569
All right, let's go.
308
00:12:01,570 --> 00:12:03,714
But you can see her wrinkles, right?
309
00:12:03,715 --> 00:12:06,350
Why don't you take John
to a bar or something?
310
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,986
- Why?
- 'Cause the children don't need to hear
311
00:12:08,987 --> 00:12:11,055
about how attractive he
finds their grandmother.
312
00:12:11,056 --> 00:12:12,523
Why don't you take him out?
313
00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:15,759
Fine. You make sure the kids
take baths and get to bed.
314
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,896
Oh, and Sheldon needs
his fingernails trimmed.
315
00:12:18,897 --> 00:12:21,332
Hey, John, what do you say
you and I go grab a beer?
316
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:23,602
But we haven't cut
open the pineapple yet.
317
00:12:23,603 --> 00:12:25,002
You boys go ahead.
318
00:12:25,003 --> 00:12:26,604
We'll eat the pineapple another time.
319
00:12:26,605 --> 00:12:29,088
But we haven't had a chance
to talk about science.
320
00:12:29,089 --> 00:12:30,414
Ooh, can Sheldon come?
321
00:12:30,415 --> 00:12:32,309
- Can I?
- No.
322
00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:33,587
- Aw.
- Aw.
323
00:12:33,588 --> 00:12:35,112
So, enough about me.
324
00:12:35,113 --> 00:12:37,448
- What's been going on in your life?
- Oh, boy. Well,
325
00:12:37,449 --> 00:12:38,816
after you and I broke up,
326
00:12:38,817 --> 00:12:40,684
I took the opportunity
to work on myself.
327
00:12:40,685 --> 00:12:42,307
Started playing tennis again.
328
00:12:42,308 --> 00:12:44,421
Uh, I-I bought a telescope,
which is pretty cool
329
00:12:44,422 --> 00:12:46,890
because you-you got to see
the Moon all big and things.
330
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,183
And, uh, I-I tried
331
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,561
Vietnamese food for the first
time, which did not go well.
332
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:51,795
Oh, very spicy.
333
00:12:51,796 --> 00:12:53,130
You wouldn't believe the heartburn.
334
00:12:53,131 --> 00:12:55,199
Not enough Tums in the world.
335
00:12:59,437 --> 00:13:02,139
This is wonderful.
336
00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:06,110
Did you know the term
"dive bar" originated
337
00:13:06,111 --> 00:13:09,615
because many establishments
were below street level,
338
00:13:09,616 --> 00:13:14,451
and patrons had to essentially
dive down to enter them.
339
00:13:14,452 --> 00:13:15,953
Didn't know that.
340
00:13:15,954 --> 00:13:17,855
Well, now you do.
341
00:13:17,856 --> 00:13:19,089
Hey, George.
342
00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,524
- Who's your friend?
- Hey, Nate.
343
00:13:20,525 --> 00:13:22,760
This is John Sturgis.
344
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,862
He's a scientist.
345
00:13:24,863 --> 00:13:27,231
Pleased to make your acquaintance, Nate.
346
00:13:27,232 --> 00:13:28,666
What can I get you?
347
00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:31,335
Um, do you have sarsaparilla?
348
00:13:31,336 --> 00:13:33,537
Two beers. We'll take two beers.
349
00:13:34,642 --> 00:13:36,252
I must admit, after the breakup,
350
00:13:36,253 --> 00:13:39,376
I was worried, but now that
Dr. Sturgis and Dad are friends,
351
00:13:39,377 --> 00:13:40,693
we'll be seeing even more of him.
352
00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:42,452
How do we see less of him?
353
00:13:42,453 --> 00:13:44,214
That is not nice.
354
00:13:44,215 --> 00:13:46,116
Sorry, but I'm on Meemaw's side.
355
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,252
She got me a two-piece bathing suit.
356
00:13:48,253 --> 00:13:49,300
I didn't realize
357
00:13:49,301 --> 00:13:50,826
we were expected to take sides.
358
00:13:50,827 --> 00:13:52,385
No one needs to take sides.
359
00:13:52,386 --> 00:13:54,391
When Heather M.'s parents got divorced,
360
00:13:54,392 --> 00:13:55,833
she said it was like picking sides,
361
00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:57,208
but you get twice the presents.
362
00:13:57,209 --> 00:13:58,433
This isn't a divorce.
363
00:13:58,434 --> 00:13:59,625
And I'm sure Meemaw
364
00:13:59,626 --> 00:14:01,398
and Dr. Sturgis will still be friends.
365
00:14:01,399 --> 00:14:03,300
Heather M.'s parents aren't friends.
366
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:05,169
But now she's got Barbie's DreamHouse
367
00:14:05,170 --> 00:14:07,371
and the pink Corvette.
368
00:14:08,476 --> 00:14:10,310
You heard me.
369
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,477
- Mmm.
- Oh, thank you.
370
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,512
That looks amazing. I love ice cream.
371
00:14:15,513 --> 00:14:17,014
Did you know
372
00:14:17,015 --> 00:14:19,850
that they used to use
the anal glands of beavers
373
00:14:19,851 --> 00:14:21,719
to make it taste like vanilla?
374
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,978
No. Where'd you hear that?
375
00:14:23,979 --> 00:14:26,190
I understand it's difficult
376
00:14:26,191 --> 00:14:29,193
to, uh, milk the little sacs.
377
00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:33,464
It's just something I
picked up along the way.
378
00:14:33,465 --> 00:14:34,898
You okay?
379
00:14:34,899 --> 00:14:36,400
Yeah.
380
00:14:36,401 --> 00:14:38,289
Let's eat pie.
381
00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:40,037
And maybe not the ice cream.
382
00:14:42,374 --> 00:14:43,732
Can you believe
383
00:14:43,733 --> 00:14:46,577
Connie was my first girlfriend?
384
00:14:46,578 --> 00:14:48,178
Really?
385
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:51,014
And probably my last.
386
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,983
Come on, don't talk like that.
387
00:14:52,984 --> 00:14:54,685
No, it's true.
388
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:56,120
She may not realize it,
389
00:14:56,121 --> 00:14:58,789
but this is all for the best.
390
00:14:58,790 --> 00:15:01,425
I'm damaged goods.
391
00:15:01,426 --> 00:15:03,127
No, you're not.
392
00:15:03,128 --> 00:15:06,630
It had just been so long
since I'd had an episode.
393
00:15:06,631 --> 00:15:08,365
I thought I was okay.
394
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:11,168
But, clearly, I'm not,
395
00:15:11,169 --> 00:15:14,338
and, uh, who knows
if it'll happen again.
396
00:15:14,339 --> 00:15:18,075
And, uh, I just can't take the risk
397
00:15:18,076 --> 00:15:19,977
of putting Connie through that.
398
00:15:19,978 --> 00:15:21,912
Hey, she's got problems, too.
399
00:15:21,913 --> 00:15:25,321
I've seen her take a wine cooler
out of the trash and finish it.
400
00:15:26,547 --> 00:15:28,852
- I'm not joking.
- Well,
401
00:15:28,853 --> 00:15:30,754
thank you for listening.
402
00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:32,589
My pleasure.
403
00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:35,926
And if you want to talk about
your relationship with Mary,
404
00:15:35,927 --> 00:15:38,362
I'm all ears.
405
00:15:38,363 --> 00:15:42,199
Intimacy issues,
communication difficulties,
406
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,602
problems in the bedroom...
407
00:15:43,603 --> 00:15:45,094
Hey! Pool table's open.
408
00:15:45,095 --> 00:15:47,230
Ah! Wonderful!
409
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,175
But if you did get a divorce,
410
00:15:51,176 --> 00:15:53,000
how many American
Girl dolls could I get?
411
00:15:53,001 --> 00:15:55,045
Your father and I
aren't getting a divorce.
412
00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:56,880
But more than one, right?
413
00:15:56,881 --> 00:16:00,350
Are there any questions
that aren't about divorce?
414
00:16:00,351 --> 00:16:02,386
Nope. Sheldon?
415
00:16:03,454 --> 00:16:05,322
Is it difficult to see your mother
416
00:16:05,323 --> 00:16:07,691
go out with men who aren't your father?
417
00:16:07,692 --> 00:16:09,359
Wow.
418
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,695
That's a big one.
419
00:16:11,696 --> 00:16:13,463
Um...
420
00:16:13,464 --> 00:16:16,800
I suppose it took some getting used to,
421
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,264
but she's a grown-up,
422
00:16:19,265 --> 00:16:21,505
and even though Pop-Pop passed away,
423
00:16:21,506 --> 00:16:23,740
she deserves to be happy.
424
00:16:23,741 --> 00:16:25,475
Just so you know,
425
00:16:25,476 --> 00:16:28,679
I'd be happy with one
American Girl doll.
426
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,113
And we're done.
427
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,715
Thank you so much, Ira.
428
00:16:31,716 --> 00:16:34,017
I really needed this.
429
00:16:34,018 --> 00:16:35,472
You're welcome.
430
00:16:35,473 --> 00:16:36,820
We should do it again.
431
00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:38,555
What's your Friday night look like?
432
00:16:38,556 --> 00:16:39,834
Oh, no, Friday's no good
433
00:16:39,835 --> 00:16:41,558
'cause we're doing
inventory at the store.
434
00:16:41,559 --> 00:16:44,228
Oh, okay. Well, how about the weekend?
435
00:16:44,229 --> 00:16:47,164
No, no, no, that's not
good for me, either.
436
00:16:47,999 --> 00:16:50,267
Are you blowing me off?
437
00:16:50,268 --> 00:16:52,236
Is it that obvious?
438
00:16:52,237 --> 00:16:54,471
Well, I don't understand why.
439
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,740
I mean, I-I thought we had a nice time.
440
00:16:56,741 --> 00:16:57,941
Oh, we did.
441
00:16:57,942 --> 00:16:59,509
But you're still hung up on John,
442
00:16:59,510 --> 00:17:01,311
and I don't want to have
my heart broken again,
443
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:04,581
so I'm gonna respectfully pass.
444
00:17:06,618 --> 00:17:08,252
Unbelievable.
445
00:17:08,253 --> 00:17:11,388
I know. It turns out I do
have a shred of dignity.
446
00:17:11,389 --> 00:17:13,523
I'm as surprised as you are.
447
00:17:14,759 --> 00:17:17,828
I'm not having a good week.
448
00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:19,329
Have you played much pool?
449
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:22,299
Oh, in my undergraduate
days, all the time.
450
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:24,968
It's just physics and geometry.
451
00:17:24,969 --> 00:17:26,503
Is that so?
452
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:29,139
I calculate the angles in my head.
453
00:17:29,140 --> 00:17:30,874
Sometimes in radians,
454
00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:32,643
sometimes in degrees,
455
00:17:32,644 --> 00:17:35,312
depending on my level of whimsy.
456
00:17:35,313 --> 00:17:38,382
I'm a radians man myself.
457
00:17:38,383 --> 00:17:39,716
That's a joke?
458
00:17:39,717 --> 00:17:40,918
Supposed to be.
459
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:44,254
Oh, life is funny.
460
00:17:44,255 --> 00:17:47,691
A week ago, I was in
a mental institution,
461
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:50,005
and now I'm laughing it up
462
00:17:50,006 --> 00:17:51,595
in a dive bar.
463
00:17:51,596 --> 00:17:53,397
Not just any dive bar.
464
00:17:53,398 --> 00:17:55,232
One where everyone knows me.
465
00:17:55,233 --> 00:17:59,069
And they are lucky that they do.
466
00:18:01,306 --> 00:18:02,706
Excuse me!
467
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,041
Everyone!
468
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:07,511
- Oh, boy.
- I would like to propose a toast
469
00:18:07,512 --> 00:18:08,979
to George Cooper.
470
00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:10,764
I don't mind telling you
471
00:18:10,765 --> 00:18:14,017
I'm going through a
bit of a rough patch,
472
00:18:14,018 --> 00:18:16,019
and this man went
473
00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:18,789
out of his way to take me here
474
00:18:18,790 --> 00:18:21,291
and listen to my woes.
475
00:18:21,292 --> 00:18:24,394
And George and I don't even
know each other that well.
476
00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:26,229
You heard it. Y'all heard it.
477
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:29,299
But I just broke up with a woman.
478
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:32,569
A beautiful, passionate woman.
479
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,438
Adventurous.
480
00:18:34,439 --> 00:18:36,306
Sensual.
481
00:18:36,307 --> 00:18:37,908
Apparently,
482
00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:41,545
you're never too old for heartache.
483
00:18:41,546 --> 00:18:43,113
But tonight,
484
00:18:43,114 --> 00:18:44,948
I found solace
485
00:18:44,949 --> 00:18:48,385
in the bosom of male friendship.
486
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:53,590
To George Cooper.
487
00:18:55,526 --> 00:18:57,794
Drinks are on me!
488
00:18:57,795 --> 00:18:59,730
To George Cooper!
489
00:19:19,545 --> 00:19:21,680
What happened?
490
00:19:21,681 --> 00:19:23,381
Oh, I had a few beers.
491
00:19:23,382 --> 00:19:25,350
He had one.
492
00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:27,388
Seriously?
493
00:19:27,389 --> 00:19:29,754
We can't get a dog, and
this guy's still here?