1
00:00:02,488 --> 00:00:05,756
A simile directly compares
two things,
2
00:00:05,824 --> 00:00:08,574
using the words "like" and "as."
3
00:00:08,793 --> 00:00:10,598
"I slept
like a log."
4
00:00:10,824 --> 00:00:12,746
"I'm hungry as a horse."
5
00:00:13,184 --> 00:00:15,035
"Your love is like
bad medicine."
6
00:00:15,262 --> 00:00:16,301
Exactly.
7
00:00:16,394 --> 00:00:17,691
That's Bon Jovi.
8
00:00:18,113 --> 00:00:19,162
Okay.
9
00:00:19,230 --> 00:00:20,637
His hair is awesome.
10
00:00:20,894 --> 00:00:22,108
Moving on.
11
00:00:22,176 --> 00:00:25,035
Metaphors are different
from similes.
12
00:00:27,847 --> 00:00:30,051
I've been called a germophobe,
13
00:00:30,121 --> 00:00:33,318
but I do find
a single sneeze acceptable.
14
00:00:33,457 --> 00:00:35,728
It could be caused
by dust, allergies...
15
00:00:35,837 --> 00:00:38,732
Really, whatever nasal
irritant floats your boat.
16
00:00:39,071 --> 00:00:40,454
However...
17
00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:42,931
during flu season...
18
00:00:45,997 --> 00:00:48,600
a second sneeze means
a plague is upon the land,
19
00:00:48,677 --> 00:00:50,665
and it's every man
for himself.
20
00:00:52,069 --> 00:00:54,038
Where do you think
you're going?
21
00:00:54,194 --> 00:00:55,442
Away from you.
22
00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:56,813
Why's that?
23
00:00:56,881 --> 00:00:58,295
I want to live.
24
00:00:58,397 --> 00:01:01,053
I'm not sick.
Get back in your seat.
25
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:02,380
No, thank you.
26
00:01:02,457 --> 00:01:04,372
You know the rules.
27
00:01:04,449 --> 00:01:06,670
You can't leave
without a hall pass.
28
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:08,743
May I have a hall pass?
29
00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:10,149
No, you may not.
30
00:01:10,217 --> 00:01:12,313
Now get back in your seat.
31
00:01:12,381 --> 00:01:14,733
Rules
are the pillars of society.
32
00:01:14,814 --> 00:01:15,814
I love rules.
33
00:01:16,029 --> 00:01:18,498
But what benefit are rules
to a dead man?
34
00:01:19,703 --> 00:01:23,022
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
35
00:01:23,139 --> 00:01:25,529
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
36
00:01:25,646 --> 00:01:28,193
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
37
00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:31,891
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
38
00:01:31,982 --> 00:01:34,535
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
*YOUNG SHELDON*
Season 01 Episode 13
39
00:01:34,602 --> 00:01:37,334
*YOUNG SHELDON*
Title: "A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek"
40
00:01:46,007 --> 00:01:47,619
Excuse me.
41
00:01:47,806 --> 00:01:50,375
Do I look like
I'm getting sick to you?
42
00:01:51,213 --> 00:01:53,033
You look a little pale.
43
00:01:53,175 --> 00:01:55,002
Okay, good, that's normal.
44
00:01:55,571 --> 00:01:59,119
Now, I understand Sheldon
is an exceptional child,
45
00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:00,668
all right,
but when he
46
00:02:00,736 --> 00:02:02,567
willfully disobeys
the order of a teacher,
47
00:02:02,635 --> 00:02:04,643
there needs
to be some consequences here.
48
00:02:04,736 --> 00:02:06,729
Oh, we couldn't
agree more.
49
00:02:06,797 --> 00:02:08,650
What kind of punishment
are you thinking?
50
00:02:08,807 --> 00:02:11,814
Well, Mary, in a case like this,
a few days of detention.
51
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,051
Really? That seems
a little harsh.
52
00:02:14,119 --> 00:02:16,103
Oh, detention's
no big deal.
53
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:19,408
Now, my principal used to
whup my ass with a paddle.
54
00:02:19,584 --> 00:02:20,867
That got
my attention.
55
00:02:20,968 --> 00:02:23,838
Oh, yeah.
Those were the days.
56
00:02:24,237 --> 00:02:26,239
Still have mine.
57
00:02:26,878 --> 00:02:28,844
Ah.
58
00:02:30,325 --> 00:02:31,744
Ol' Spanky.
59
00:02:31,858 --> 00:02:33,643
Whoa.
60
00:02:33,785 --> 00:02:36,641
- Got a real nice grip on that thing.
- Yeah, George.
61
00:02:36,709 --> 00:02:39,623
Had the equipment manager over
at the Astros make this for me.
62
00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:41,705
The holes in it...
63
00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:43,893
cut down on wind resistance.
64
00:02:43,961 --> 00:02:45,150
Smart.
65
00:02:45,218 --> 00:02:48,080
But these days you have
to have a consent form
66
00:02:48,148 --> 00:02:49,728
to whack the kids.
67
00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,627
I don't know
where this world's headed.
68
00:02:52,893 --> 00:02:55,619
You ought to get one of those
for when Georgie acts up.
69
00:02:56,103 --> 00:02:58,108
Like you never thought
about going upside his head
70
00:02:58,185 --> 00:02:59,666
with a slab of wood.
71
00:03:00,515 --> 00:03:03,978
You know, there was a time
this thing gave me tennis elbow.
72
00:03:17,751 --> 00:03:19,791
Okay, Sheldon, come o...
73
00:03:21,236 --> 00:03:22,744
Where'd he go?
74
00:03:22,966 --> 00:03:24,268
Thataway.
75
00:03:24,336 --> 00:03:25,400
♪♪
76
00:03:39,316 --> 00:03:40,550
♪ Well, I'm running ♪
77
00:03:40,635 --> 00:03:42,502
♪ Police on my back ♪
78
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:43,614
♪ I've been hiding ♪
79
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:45,322
♪ Police on my back ♪
80
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:47,414
♪ There was a shooting ♪
81
00:03:47,491 --> 00:03:49,116
♪ Police on my back ♪
82
00:03:49,193 --> 00:03:50,427
♪ And the victim ♪
83
00:03:50,504 --> 00:03:52,166
♪ Well, he won't come back ♪
84
00:03:52,234 --> 00:03:54,249
What you
doing, kid?!
85
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,705
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday ♪
86
00:03:55,809 --> 00:03:58,735
♪ Thursday, Friday,
Saturday, Sunday ♪
87
00:03:59,913 --> 00:04:01,847
Enjoy this. It is, by far,
88
00:04:01,915 --> 00:04:04,874
the most athletic two minutes
of my entire life.
89
00:04:04,951 --> 00:04:06,843
♪ What have I done? ♪
90
00:04:07,911 --> 00:04:11,204
♪ What have I done? ♪
91
00:04:12,538 --> 00:04:13,968
It's not funny.
92
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,170
Oh, come on, now.
93
00:04:15,238 --> 00:04:18,121
Sheldon in detention...
That's funny.
94
00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:20,007
I actually think
it'd be good for him.
95
00:04:20,164 --> 00:04:22,032
He needs to learn
he's not special.
96
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,726
But he is special.
97
00:04:23,794 --> 00:04:25,688
You know what I mean.
He can't just
98
00:04:25,756 --> 00:04:27,913
walk out of a classroom
'cause he feels like it.
99
00:04:28,007 --> 00:04:29,608
He was worried
about catching a cold.
100
00:04:29,676 --> 00:04:31,413
That is a legitimate concern.
101
00:04:31,594 --> 00:04:33,629
And now he's in danger
of being mugged
102
00:04:33,698 --> 00:04:35,710
by a roomful of hoodlums.
103
00:04:35,851 --> 00:04:37,530
He's not getting mugged.
104
00:04:37,626 --> 00:04:39,558
It's half a dozen kids
doing homework
105
00:04:39,626 --> 00:04:41,025
while a teacher watches 'em.
106
00:04:41,093 --> 00:04:43,519
Although it might not hurt
to give Sheldon a few dollars
107
00:04:43,596 --> 00:04:45,491
to buy himself
some protection.
108
00:04:46,417 --> 00:04:48,286
That's actually not a bad idea.
109
00:04:56,199 --> 00:04:57,200
What are you doing?
110
00:04:57,277 --> 00:04:58,413
Nothing.
111
00:04:58,627 --> 00:05:00,618
Is that
chewing tobacco?
112
00:05:00,866 --> 00:05:03,439
It's chocolate Bazooka.
What do you want?
113
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,116
I have detention tomorrow,
114
00:05:05,232 --> 00:05:07,257
and I thought you could
give me some tips.
115
00:05:07,335 --> 00:05:09,904
That was pretty badass,
you walking out of class like that.
116
00:05:10,129 --> 00:05:13,882
It was not my intention to be
bad "A" word, but thank you.
117
00:05:14,116 --> 00:05:16,564
The only thing you need
to worry about in detention
118
00:05:16,632 --> 00:05:18,257
is staying close
to the teacher.
119
00:05:18,325 --> 00:05:20,772
If he leaves the room,
you go with him.
120
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,218
Why?
121
00:05:22,286 --> 00:05:24,621
'Cause you're gonna
get your "A" word kicked.
122
00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:28,054
Are you saying I'll be
in physical danger?
123
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,882
It's all the worst kids
in school
124
00:05:30,009 --> 00:05:31,601
in one room for an hour.
125
00:05:31,678 --> 00:05:33,647
What do you think's
gonna happen?
126
00:05:33,816 --> 00:05:36,431
I thought we were gonna spend
the time regretting our actions
127
00:05:36,499 --> 00:05:39,365
and thinking about how we could
be better in the future.
128
00:05:39,481 --> 00:05:41,573
Well, you thought wrong.
Get lost.
129
00:05:42,296 --> 00:05:44,468
You're both mean
and nice to me.
130
00:05:44,536 --> 00:05:46,428
It's confusing.
131
00:05:54,464 --> 00:05:56,679
Maybe I'm doing this wrong.
132
00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:04,546
Have you ever been in detention?
133
00:06:04,687 --> 00:06:05,827
No.
134
00:06:06,336 --> 00:06:08,163
But I do take
the school bus.
135
00:06:08,381 --> 00:06:10,054
And that is no party.
136
00:06:10,193 --> 00:06:12,762
It's like a mental hospital
on wheels.
137
00:06:13,019 --> 00:06:15,062
That's a good use of simile.
138
00:06:15,168 --> 00:06:16,288
Thanks.
139
00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:18,241
Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
140
00:06:22,710 --> 00:06:23,742
I hope.
141
00:06:33,907 --> 00:06:37,335
Hello. I'm here
for detention.
142
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,822
Where is the teacher?
143
00:06:40,806 --> 00:06:42,835
Not here yet.
144
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:44,699
Oh.
145
00:06:49,730 --> 00:06:51,405
I have three dollars.
146
00:06:51,533 --> 00:06:53,765
Feel free to share it
with the others.
147
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,519
Would you prefer
a piece of paper?
148
00:07:06,587 --> 00:07:08,681
I have some
in my briefcase.
149
00:07:10,025 --> 00:07:11,751
It's here
if you change your mind.
150
00:07:11,819 --> 00:07:13,829
All right, losers,
you know how this works.
151
00:07:14,056 --> 00:07:16,478
One hour, no talking,
no horseplay.
152
00:07:16,555 --> 00:07:17,869
Sheldon?
153
00:07:17,946 --> 00:07:19,437
Hello, Mr. Givens.
154
00:07:19,748 --> 00:07:20,748
Why are you here?
155
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:23,324
I didn't want to catch a cold
from Ms. MacElroy,
156
00:07:23,392 --> 00:07:25,921
so I left her classroom
without a hall pass.
157
00:07:25,998 --> 00:07:28,564
Well, something is going around.
158
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,925
I actually had a little tickle
in my throat.
159
00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:33,480
Okay, time to go.
Nice meeting you.
160
00:07:33,548 --> 00:07:34,797
Whoa, what-what are you doing?
161
00:07:34,874 --> 00:07:36,634
You've heard of
fight or flight?
162
00:07:36,767 --> 00:07:38,392
This is flight.
163
00:07:40,885 --> 00:07:42,644
Not so funny
now, is it?
164
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,047
No. How long
is he suspended for?
165
00:07:45,149 --> 00:07:46,174
A week.
166
00:07:46,242 --> 00:07:48,174
And it goes on
his permanent record.
167
00:07:48,242 --> 00:07:49,715
Well, that's
no big deal.
168
00:07:49,813 --> 00:07:53,156
I had all kinds of stuff on my
permanent high school record.
169
00:07:53,310 --> 00:07:56,406
Didn't stop me from being
a bartender for eight years.
170
00:07:56,547 --> 00:07:59,570
I think the real issue we need
to deal with is his germ phobia.
171
00:07:59,638 --> 00:08:00,679
Oh, yes,
you don't
172
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,472
want him turning
into Howard Hughes.
173
00:08:02,544 --> 00:08:04,406
Growing his nails out.
174
00:08:04,645 --> 00:08:06,288
Peeing in a jar.
175
00:08:06,547 --> 00:08:09,592
- Why would he pee into a jar?
- I don't know why he peed in a jar,
176
00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:11,242
I just know he did.
177
00:08:11,518 --> 00:08:12,952
I hate to say it,
178
00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:14,912
but I think
we need help with this.
179
00:08:15,017 --> 00:08:16,588
- Like what?
- Maybe we could
180
00:08:16,656 --> 00:08:18,925
take him to that nice doctor
who calmed him down
181
00:08:19,002 --> 00:08:21,242
when he was convinced
he had an enlarged prostate?
182
00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:22,907
Sheldon only calmed down
when the doctor told him
183
00:08:22,974 --> 00:08:24,726
what happens in a prostate exam.
184
00:08:25,159 --> 00:08:26,340
Poor thing.
185
00:08:26,408 --> 00:08:28,054
Still talks about it.
186
00:08:31,281 --> 00:08:33,179
Thank you for seeing us,
Doctor.
187
00:08:33,343 --> 00:08:34,585
No problem.
188
00:08:34,718 --> 00:08:37,710
So, what do you got today,
Sheldon?
189
00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,906
Rickets?
Rabies?
190
00:08:39,974 --> 00:08:41,899
Early-onset menopause?
191
00:08:42,624 --> 00:08:43,950
Is he making a joke?
192
00:08:44,027 --> 00:08:45,273
I believe so.
193
00:08:45,341 --> 00:08:46,484
Humorous.
194
00:08:46,571 --> 00:08:48,563
- Hmm.
- Sheldon's not sick,
195
00:08:48,631 --> 00:08:51,467
but he has become overly
concerned with getting a cold
196
00:08:51,535 --> 00:08:53,760
- or the flu.
- Well, any symptoms...
197
00:08:53,828 --> 00:08:55,353
Runny nose, achy,
198
00:08:55,421 --> 00:08:57,369
- sore throat, fever?
- No.
199
00:08:57,458 --> 00:09:00,799
All right, well, Sheldon,
if you do catch a cold,
200
00:09:00,867 --> 00:09:04,261
or even the flu, it's...
it's not the end of the world.
201
00:09:04,484 --> 00:09:07,607
The flu was the end of the world
for half a million Americans
202
00:09:07,684 --> 00:09:10,296
during the influenza epidemic
of 1918.
203
00:09:10,398 --> 00:09:11,934
- Really?
- In India
204
00:09:12,011 --> 00:09:13,851
17 million people died.
205
00:09:13,931 --> 00:09:16,062
Okay, I think we're getting
off the subject. Doctor,
206
00:09:16,130 --> 00:09:18,007
Sheldon is afraid
to go to school
207
00:09:18,075 --> 00:09:19,243
because he might get exposed
208
00:09:19,311 --> 00:09:21,640
to some kind of bacteria
or virus.
209
00:09:21,708 --> 00:09:23,874
So he's got a phobia?
210
00:09:23,942 --> 00:09:26,279
It's not a phobia
if the threat is real.
211
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:28,202
You're a doctor,
you should know that.
212
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:32,312
Sheldon, you have
nothing to worry about.
213
00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:34,272
Even if you did get the flu,
214
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,163
it's usually over in a week.
215
00:09:36,381 --> 00:09:39,445
Why are we getting medical
advice from a man who smokes?
216
00:09:39,519 --> 00:09:41,134
Sheldon.
O-Okay,
217
00:09:41,202 --> 00:09:43,601
I have patients
who are actually sick.
218
00:09:43,669 --> 00:09:45,585
Maybe
we should wrap this up.
219
00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:47,968
How come you don't
get sick all the time?
220
00:09:48,093 --> 00:09:49,565
Well, I take precautions.
221
00:09:49,633 --> 00:09:52,960
I wash my hands,
I wear gloves and a mask.
222
00:10:04,962 --> 00:10:07,231
So, Mom,
how was your day?
223
00:10:09,052 --> 00:10:11,021
We're ignoring this?
224
00:10:11,615 --> 00:10:13,134
Okay.
225
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,055
So pretty.
226
00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:26,391
What's going on?
227
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,088
I'm not feeling so good.
228
00:10:30,545 --> 00:10:33,001
Biohazard! Biohazard!
229
00:10:33,464 --> 00:10:34,876
Sucker.
230
00:10:35,453 --> 00:10:36,829
In national news,
231
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:41,188
an unusually early flu season
is buffeting the country.
232
00:10:41,256 --> 00:10:44,321
Doctors say the strain,
originating in China,
233
00:10:44,389 --> 00:10:46,743
is particularly severe.
234
00:10:46,811 --> 00:10:50,837
Children and the elderly
are most at risk.
235
00:10:51,089 --> 00:10:53,291
Sheldon, why are
you still up?
236
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,367
We're all gonna die!
237
00:10:55,491 --> 00:10:56,983
About the local cattle...
238
00:10:57,051 --> 00:10:58,085
This isn't funny!
239
00:10:58,153 --> 00:11:00,463
I know, baby, I know.
240
00:11:00,531 --> 00:11:04,180
But you need to
understand that sometimes
241
00:11:04,248 --> 00:11:06,816
the news says those things
just to scare people.
242
00:11:06,884 --> 00:11:09,180
- Well, it's working!
- Come here.
243
00:11:09,248 --> 00:11:10,751
I know you don't
believe in this,
244
00:11:10,819 --> 00:11:12,544
but I'm gonna
do it anyway.
245
00:11:14,627 --> 00:11:17,470
Lord, I pray for
my son Sheldon
246
00:11:17,538 --> 00:11:20,579
that you protect him from
all illness and disease,
247
00:11:20,704 --> 00:11:23,173
and keep him healthy
and keep him safe,
248
00:11:23,352 --> 00:11:26,220
and protect him from
his head to his toes,
249
00:11:26,342 --> 00:11:29,100
inside and out. Amen.
250
00:11:30,684 --> 00:11:33,787
You're right.
I don't believe in that.
251
00:11:35,305 --> 00:11:39,048
But it did feel good.
Thanks.
252
00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:42,673
In the Bible, that's called
a hedge of protection.
253
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,235
Why do you keep smiling?
254
00:11:46,303 --> 00:11:48,954
You need to look
at your mask, baby.
255
00:11:51,938 --> 00:11:53,845
Missy?!
256
00:11:56,611 --> 00:11:58,871
We have to go to school,
and Sheldon doesn't?
257
00:11:58,939 --> 00:12:00,298
- That's not fair.
- Sure it is.
258
00:12:00,366 --> 00:12:02,291
Sheldon loves school
and can't go.
259
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,665
You hate school
and have to. Fair.
260
00:12:05,493 --> 00:12:06,581
He still has
261
00:12:06,649 --> 00:12:08,118
to spend his day doing chores.
262
00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,930
Can't sit around
playing with his trains.
263
00:12:09,998 --> 00:12:12,345
Yeah, put him to work.
Good parenting, Dad.
264
00:12:12,449 --> 00:12:14,048
Oh, I'm glad you approve.
265
00:12:14,116 --> 00:12:15,423
I do.
266
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,228
Where you going?
267
00:12:18,398 --> 00:12:20,367
I'm gonna give Sheldon
a list of chores.
268
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,243
You're actually
taking my advice?
269
00:12:22,319 --> 00:12:23,345
Yes.
270
00:12:23,426 --> 00:12:24,876
Well, how about that?
271
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:27,345
Hey, you were due.
272
00:12:29,453 --> 00:12:30,876
Proud of you, George.
273
00:12:39,716 --> 00:12:41,329
Sheldon?
274
00:12:41,434 --> 00:12:42,515
Yes.
275
00:12:42,614 --> 00:12:45,048
The door's locked.
Can you open it?
276
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,173
No.
277
00:12:47,674 --> 00:12:49,360
What on earth?
278
00:13:00,636 --> 00:13:02,661
Hello.
What are you doing?
279
00:13:02,729 --> 00:13:05,509
I made a real germ-proof
hedge of protection.
280
00:13:05,650 --> 00:13:08,134
Oh, honey,
you can't stay in there.
281
00:13:08,319 --> 00:13:11,438
I've got a refrigerator,
I've got my sleeping bag,
282
00:13:11,506 --> 00:13:14,774
and anything else I need
I can make out of Legos.
283
00:13:15,047 --> 00:13:17,494
What's with
the Halloween costume?
284
00:13:19,804 --> 00:13:21,915
In case of a breach.
285
00:13:23,743 --> 00:13:25,251
Stay right there.
286
00:13:25,319 --> 00:13:26,720
That's my plan.
287
00:13:26,788 --> 00:13:28,713
George?
288
00:13:32,152 --> 00:13:35,144
Just when you think
he's gonna zig,
289
00:13:35,221 --> 00:13:36,645
you get
a big old zag.
290
00:13:36,793 --> 00:13:38,970
It's ridiculous. I'm...
I'm gonna take it down.
291
00:13:39,038 --> 00:13:41,230
No, you can't force him out
of a phobia.
292
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,141
- What do we do?
- He can't live in there.
293
00:13:43,209 --> 00:13:44,366
Well, actually, he can.
294
00:13:44,434 --> 00:13:46,899
He's got the refrigerator
and a sleeping bag.
295
00:13:47,001 --> 00:13:49,446
And he can always
go potty in the sink.
296
00:13:50,376 --> 00:13:52,212
I think I'll take
the kids to school.
297
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,766
I'm sure he'll be out
by the time you get home.
298
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:57,203
Not sure why you
think that, but okay.
299
00:13:57,555 --> 00:13:59,295
- Mom?
- Yes, Shelly.
300
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,706
Can you close the door?
301
00:14:00,783 --> 00:14:02,675
I need to use the sink.
302
00:14:09,290 --> 00:14:11,073
- Tammy Cook?
- Here.
303
00:14:11,305 --> 00:14:13,452
- Georgie Cooper?
- Here.
304
00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:16,290
- Sheldon Cooper?
- Absent.
305
00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:18,657
- Where's your brother?
- Home.
306
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:19,774
Is he okay?
307
00:14:19,842 --> 00:14:20,960
Yeah, he's just...
308
00:14:22,155 --> 00:14:24,889
Actually, it's not
looking good for him.
309
00:14:25,077 --> 00:14:26,465
He might not make it.
310
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:29,268
Oh, that's terrible.
I know.
311
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,327
I love him so much.
312
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:35,163
If anything ever happened,
I don't know what I'd do.
313
00:14:35,999 --> 00:14:37,610
Aw.
314
00:14:44,219 --> 00:14:45,475
Shelly, if you don't mind
315
00:14:45,543 --> 00:14:47,918
me asking, what's your long-term
plan here?
316
00:14:47,986 --> 00:14:50,232
I'm working
on the math to turn the garage
317
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,394
into a self-sustaining
ecosystem.
318
00:14:52,462 --> 00:14:54,769
Okay. And what exactly
does that mean?
319
00:14:54,837 --> 00:14:58,225
Well, all I need is sunlight and
a few seeds to grow unlimited food
320
00:14:58,293 --> 00:15:00,629
which I'll fertilize
with my own feces.
321
00:15:00,697 --> 00:15:02,472
This just gets better.
322
00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:05,154
If you're not gonna help,
please go inside.
323
00:15:05,222 --> 00:15:06,539
This is not a show.
324
00:15:06,683 --> 00:15:08,629
Now that's where I disagree.
325
00:15:10,264 --> 00:15:12,652
Shelly, baby,
please come on out.
326
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:13,832
I can't.
327
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,787
- Come on.
- I'm your mommy.
328
00:15:15,855 --> 00:15:17,283
Do it for your mommy.
329
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,540
No.
330
00:15:19,576 --> 00:15:20,744
But I'm your mommy.
331
00:15:20,812 --> 00:15:23,104
Y'all are killing me.
332
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:27,246
"I'm your mommy."
333
00:15:27,402 --> 00:15:31,587
I think the saddest part
about it is just how sad it is.
334
00:15:31,777 --> 00:15:33,785
Is there anything
that we can do?
335
00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:35,992
I don't know.
336
00:15:36,129 --> 00:15:37,636
A hug might help.
337
00:15:37,735 --> 00:15:39,660
Of course.
338
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,398
What's wrong
with you two?
339
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,343
Don't you care
about my brother?
340
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,178
Aw.
341
00:15:53,225 --> 00:15:55,744
Oh, Sheldon.
342
00:15:56,116 --> 00:15:58,188
That's it. I've had
enough of this nonsense.
343
00:15:58,256 --> 00:16:00,452
If you don't come out,
I'm coming in!
344
00:16:00,639 --> 00:16:02,709
One, two,
345
00:16:02,906 --> 00:16:05,079
- three.
- Breach! Breach!
346
00:16:05,147 --> 00:16:08,092
- You come here right this instant!
- No.
347
00:16:08,185 --> 00:16:09,204
Oh!
348
00:16:09,273 --> 00:16:10,743
♪♪
349
00:16:10,811 --> 00:16:13,931
♪ That's great, it starts
with an earthquake ♪
350
00:16:13,999 --> 00:16:16,571
Sheldon! ♪ Birds and
snakes and aeroplanes... ♪
351
00:16:16,639 --> 00:16:18,381
You can't run away
from me forever.
352
00:16:18,491 --> 00:16:21,214
I don't have to do it forever.
Just till you get tired.
353
00:16:21,291 --> 00:16:22,438
Mary,
354
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,204
I'm gonna run
and go get my video camera.
355
00:16:24,272 --> 00:16:25,610
Don't catch him till I get back.
356
00:16:25,678 --> 00:16:26,874
This is not a joke!
357
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,264
Sheldon, get over here!
358
00:16:28,332 --> 00:16:30,938
♪ It's the end of the world ♪
359
00:16:31,006 --> 00:16:33,436
♪ As we know it
Get over here. ♪
360
00:16:33,504 --> 00:16:36,350
Sheldon Lee Cooper,
get here.
361
00:16:36,444 --> 00:16:37,655
Right now.
362
00:16:37,749 --> 00:16:40,358
Oh, Lord, I think
I'm gonna wet myself.
363
00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:43,190
Get! You come here!
Sheldon Lee Cooper!
364
00:16:43,258 --> 00:16:45,550
♪ I feel fine. ♪
365
00:16:49,432 --> 00:16:51,077
Look at that.
366
00:16:52,014 --> 00:16:54,423
St. Mary drinking alcohol.
367
00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:56,733
God saw what just happened.
He gets it.
368
00:16:57,003 --> 00:17:01,024
Mind if I take a crack
at catching the Road Runner?
369
00:17:01,092 --> 00:17:02,952
What are you gonna do
that I couldn't do?
370
00:17:03,163 --> 00:17:04,522
Oh, a little trick I learned
371
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,694
trying to get prairie dogs
out of the hole.
372
00:17:07,022 --> 00:17:10,022
Of course we'd whack off
their heads with a golf club.
373
00:17:10,137 --> 00:17:12,116
I'm not gonna do that
to Sheldon.
374
00:17:15,108 --> 00:17:16,999
Oh, Moon Pie,
375
00:17:17,874 --> 00:17:21,240
I've got a little treat for you.
376
00:17:21,889 --> 00:17:23,097
Chocolate chip?
377
00:17:23,165 --> 00:17:25,954
Mm-hmm,
right out of the oven.
378
00:17:26,022 --> 00:17:27,975
Good. That means
they're sterile.
379
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:32,616
Why don't you come on out here
and... have a couple?
380
00:17:32,982 --> 00:17:34,270
I can't do that.
381
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,821
Okay, I tell you what.
382
00:17:35,898 --> 00:17:38,655
I'm gonna just put 'em
right out here,
383
00:17:38,741 --> 00:17:42,155
and you can come out
and get one when you're ready.
384
00:17:42,319 --> 00:17:45,147
How about that?
I'm gonna put 'em down
385
00:17:45,225 --> 00:17:47,266
right... here.
386
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,538
Aah!
387
00:17:53,599 --> 00:17:55,443
Come on! Oh.
388
00:17:57,411 --> 00:17:59,185
Listen to me, buster.
389
00:17:59,389 --> 00:18:00,802
Okay.
You are
390
00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:02,481
a lot of things, Sheldon.
391
00:18:02,558 --> 00:18:06,185
You are cute, smart,
hygienic.
392
00:18:09,769 --> 00:18:11,790
But most of all...
393
00:18:12,261 --> 00:18:15,582
you... are a Texan.
394
00:18:15,650 --> 00:18:16,964
So?
395
00:18:17,077 --> 00:18:18,394
So Texans
396
00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:20,636
aren't afraid of nothin'!
397
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,308
Rattlesnakes, Indians,
398
00:18:23,558 --> 00:18:25,894
the Mexican Army.
399
00:18:27,418 --> 00:18:32,300
Do you imagine that Sam Houston
was scared of a little old cold?
400
00:18:32,761 --> 00:18:33,974
No.
401
00:18:34,292 --> 00:18:35,739
Jim Bowie?
402
00:18:35,846 --> 00:18:37,160
No.
403
00:18:38,362 --> 00:18:40,649
Sissy Spacek?
404
00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:42,605
I... guess not?
405
00:18:42,729 --> 00:18:45,209
You're damn right,
because they're Texans
406
00:18:45,277 --> 00:18:46,584
through and through.
407
00:18:46,652 --> 00:18:49,295
Now I want you to quit hiding
in this plastic bubble,
408
00:18:49,363 --> 00:18:50,777
and I want you to
come out here and
409
00:18:50,845 --> 00:18:54,285
eat your cookies
out in the world like a man!
410
00:18:54,353 --> 00:18:56,207
Like a Texan man!
411
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,190
I'm impressed.
412
00:19:19,338 --> 00:19:20,619
Me, too.
413
00:19:20,930 --> 00:19:23,471
I thought I'd lost him
at Sissy Spacek.
414
00:19:23,947 --> 00:19:26,799
Whew!
415
00:19:32,253 --> 00:19:33,487
As you can see,
416
00:19:33,564 --> 00:19:36,893
my meemaw successfully
lured me back into the world
417
00:19:37,072 --> 00:19:40,923
by reminding me
of my brave Texas ancestors.
418
00:19:41,018 --> 00:19:43,288
Their blood ran
through my veins.
419
00:19:43,356 --> 00:19:47,002
I was a true son
of the Lone Star State.
420
00:19:47,124 --> 00:19:48,997
Albeit a true son
421
00:19:49,065 --> 00:19:51,963
with an incredibly fragile
immune system.
422
00:19:52,127 --> 00:19:55,549
I woke up the next morning
with a temperature of 102
423
00:19:55,721 --> 00:19:58,346
and a head packed full
of mucus.
424
00:19:58,604 --> 00:20:02,776
However, there was
a silver lining.
425
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:07,141
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪
426
00:20:07,209 --> 00:20:10,201
♪ Little ball of fur ♪
427
00:20:10,287 --> 00:20:13,897
♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪
428
00:20:13,967 --> 00:20:16,373
♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪
429
00:20:16,529 --> 00:20:18,068
Sing it again, Mom.
430
00:20:18,209 --> 00:20:19,701
First, blow your nose.
431
00:20:22,951 --> 00:20:26,342
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪
432
00:20:26,443 --> 00:20:28,818
♪ Little ball of fur ♪
433
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:32,805
♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪
434
00:20:32,873 --> 00:20:35,481
♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪
Synchronized by srjanapala
435
00:20:39,515 --> 00:20:42,372
♪♪