1 00:00:02,488 --> 00:00:05,756 A simile directly compares two things, 2 00:00:05,824 --> 00:00:08,574 using the words "like" and "as." 3 00:00:08,793 --> 00:00:10,598 "I slept like a log." 4 00:00:10,824 --> 00:00:12,746 "I'm hungry as a horse." 5 00:00:13,184 --> 00:00:15,035 "Your love is like bad medicine." 6 00:00:15,262 --> 00:00:16,301 Exactly. 7 00:00:16,394 --> 00:00:17,691 That's Bon Jovi. 8 00:00:18,113 --> 00:00:19,162 Okay. 9 00:00:19,230 --> 00:00:20,637 His hair is awesome. 10 00:00:20,894 --> 00:00:22,108 Moving on. 11 00:00:22,176 --> 00:00:25,035 Metaphors are different from similes. 12 00:00:27,847 --> 00:00:30,051 I've been called a germophobe, 13 00:00:30,121 --> 00:00:33,318 but I do find a single sneeze acceptable. 14 00:00:33,457 --> 00:00:35,728 It could be caused by dust, allergies... 15 00:00:35,837 --> 00:00:38,732 Really, whatever nasal irritant floats your boat. 16 00:00:39,071 --> 00:00:40,454 However... 17 00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:42,931 during flu season... 18 00:00:45,997 --> 00:00:48,600 a second sneeze means a plague is upon the land, 19 00:00:48,677 --> 00:00:50,665 and it's every man for himself. 20 00:00:52,069 --> 00:00:54,038 Where do you think you're going? 21 00:00:54,194 --> 00:00:55,442 Away from you. 22 00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:56,813 Why's that? 23 00:00:56,881 --> 00:00:58,295 I want to live. 24 00:00:58,397 --> 00:01:01,053 I'm not sick. Get back in your seat. 25 00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:02,380 No, thank you. 26 00:01:02,457 --> 00:01:04,372 You know the rules. 27 00:01:04,449 --> 00:01:06,670 You can't leave without a hall pass. 28 00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:08,743 May I have a hall pass? 29 00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:10,149 No, you may not. 30 00:01:10,217 --> 00:01:12,313 Now get back in your seat. 31 00:01:12,381 --> 00:01:14,733 Rules are the pillars of society. 32 00:01:14,814 --> 00:01:15,814 I love rules. 33 00:01:16,029 --> 00:01:18,498 But what benefit are rules to a dead man? 34 00:01:19,703 --> 00:01:23,022 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 35 00:01:23,139 --> 00:01:25,529 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 36 00:01:25,646 --> 00:01:28,193 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 37 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:31,891 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 38 00:01:31,982 --> 00:01:34,535 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ *YOUNG SHELDON* Season 01 Episode 13 39 00:01:34,602 --> 00:01:37,334 *YOUNG SHELDON* Title: "A Sneeze, Detention, and Sissy Spacek" 40 00:01:46,007 --> 00:01:47,619 Excuse me. 41 00:01:47,806 --> 00:01:50,375 Do I look like I'm getting sick to you? 42 00:01:51,213 --> 00:01:53,033 You look a little pale. 43 00:01:53,175 --> 00:01:55,002 Okay, good, that's normal. 44 00:01:55,571 --> 00:01:59,119 Now, I understand Sheldon is an exceptional child, 45 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:00,668 all right, but when he 46 00:02:00,736 --> 00:02:02,567 willfully disobeys the order of a teacher, 47 00:02:02,635 --> 00:02:04,643 there needs to be some consequences here. 48 00:02:04,736 --> 00:02:06,729 Oh, we couldn't agree more. 49 00:02:06,797 --> 00:02:08,650 What kind of punishment are you thinking? 50 00:02:08,807 --> 00:02:11,814 Well, Mary, in a case like this, a few days of detention. 51 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,051 Really? That seems a little harsh. 52 00:02:14,119 --> 00:02:16,103 Oh, detention's no big deal. 53 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:19,408 Now, my principal used to whup my ass with a paddle. 54 00:02:19,584 --> 00:02:20,867 That got my attention. 55 00:02:20,968 --> 00:02:23,838 Oh, yeah. Those were the days. 56 00:02:24,237 --> 00:02:26,239 Still have mine. 57 00:02:26,878 --> 00:02:28,844 Ah. 58 00:02:30,325 --> 00:02:31,744 Ol' Spanky. 59 00:02:31,858 --> 00:02:33,643 Whoa. 60 00:02:33,785 --> 00:02:36,641 - Got a real nice grip on that thing. - Yeah, George. 61 00:02:36,709 --> 00:02:39,623 Had the equipment manager over at the Astros make this for me. 62 00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:41,705 The holes in it... 63 00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:43,893 cut down on wind resistance. 64 00:02:43,961 --> 00:02:45,150 Smart. 65 00:02:45,218 --> 00:02:48,080 But these days you have to have a consent form 66 00:02:48,148 --> 00:02:49,728 to whack the kids. 67 00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:52,627 I don't know where this world's headed. 68 00:02:52,893 --> 00:02:55,619 You ought to get one of those for when Georgie acts up. 69 00:02:56,103 --> 00:02:58,108 Like you never thought about going upside his head 70 00:02:58,185 --> 00:02:59,666 with a slab of wood. 71 00:03:00,515 --> 00:03:03,978 You know, there was a time this thing gave me tennis elbow. 72 00:03:17,751 --> 00:03:19,791 Okay, Sheldon, come o... 73 00:03:21,236 --> 00:03:22,744 Where'd he go? 74 00:03:22,966 --> 00:03:24,268 Thataway. 75 00:03:24,336 --> 00:03:25,400 ♪♪ 76 00:03:39,316 --> 00:03:40,550 ♪ Well, I'm running ♪ 77 00:03:40,635 --> 00:03:42,502 ♪ Police on my back ♪ 78 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:43,614 ♪ I've been hiding ♪ 79 00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:45,322 ♪ Police on my back ♪ 80 00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:47,414 ♪ There was a shooting ♪ 81 00:03:47,491 --> 00:03:49,116 ♪ Police on my back ♪ 82 00:03:49,193 --> 00:03:50,427 ♪ And the victim ♪ 83 00:03:50,504 --> 00:03:52,166 ♪ Well, he won't come back ♪ 84 00:03:52,234 --> 00:03:54,249 What you doing, kid?! 85 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,705 ♪ Tuesday, Wednesday ♪ 86 00:03:55,809 --> 00:03:58,735 ♪ Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday ♪ 87 00:03:59,913 --> 00:04:01,847 Enjoy this. It is, by far, 88 00:04:01,915 --> 00:04:04,874 the most athletic two minutes of my entire life. 89 00:04:04,951 --> 00:04:06,843 ♪ What have I done? ♪ 90 00:04:07,911 --> 00:04:11,204 ♪ What have I done? ♪ 91 00:04:12,538 --> 00:04:13,968 It's not funny. 92 00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,170 Oh, come on, now. 93 00:04:15,238 --> 00:04:18,121 Sheldon in detention... That's funny. 94 00:04:18,430 --> 00:04:20,007 I actually think it'd be good for him. 95 00:04:20,164 --> 00:04:22,032 He needs to learn he's not special. 96 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,726 But he is special. 97 00:04:23,794 --> 00:04:25,688 You know what I mean. He can't just 98 00:04:25,756 --> 00:04:27,913 walk out of a classroom 'cause he feels like it. 99 00:04:28,007 --> 00:04:29,608 He was worried about catching a cold. 100 00:04:29,676 --> 00:04:31,413 That is a legitimate concern. 101 00:04:31,594 --> 00:04:33,629 And now he's in danger of being mugged 102 00:04:33,698 --> 00:04:35,710 by a roomful of hoodlums. 103 00:04:35,851 --> 00:04:37,530 He's not getting mugged. 104 00:04:37,626 --> 00:04:39,558 It's half a dozen kids doing homework 105 00:04:39,626 --> 00:04:41,025 while a teacher watches 'em. 106 00:04:41,093 --> 00:04:43,519 Although it might not hurt to give Sheldon a few dollars 107 00:04:43,596 --> 00:04:45,491 to buy himself some protection. 108 00:04:46,417 --> 00:04:48,286 That's actually not a bad idea. 109 00:04:56,199 --> 00:04:57,200 What are you doing? 110 00:04:57,277 --> 00:04:58,413 Nothing. 111 00:04:58,627 --> 00:05:00,618 Is that chewing tobacco? 112 00:05:00,866 --> 00:05:03,439 It's chocolate Bazooka. What do you want? 113 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,116 I have detention tomorrow, 114 00:05:05,232 --> 00:05:07,257 and I thought you could give me some tips. 115 00:05:07,335 --> 00:05:09,904 That was pretty badass, you walking out of class like that. 116 00:05:10,129 --> 00:05:13,882 It was not my intention to be bad "A" word, but thank you. 117 00:05:14,116 --> 00:05:16,564 The only thing you need to worry about in detention 118 00:05:16,632 --> 00:05:18,257 is staying close to the teacher. 119 00:05:18,325 --> 00:05:20,772 If he leaves the room, you go with him. 120 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,218 Why? 121 00:05:22,286 --> 00:05:24,621 'Cause you're gonna get your "A" word kicked. 122 00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:28,054 Are you saying I'll be in physical danger? 123 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,882 It's all the worst kids in school 124 00:05:30,009 --> 00:05:31,601 in one room for an hour. 125 00:05:31,678 --> 00:05:33,647 What do you think's gonna happen? 126 00:05:33,816 --> 00:05:36,431 I thought we were gonna spend the time regretting our actions 127 00:05:36,499 --> 00:05:39,365 and thinking about how we could be better in the future. 128 00:05:39,481 --> 00:05:41,573 Well, you thought wrong. Get lost. 129 00:05:42,296 --> 00:05:44,468 You're both mean and nice to me. 130 00:05:44,536 --> 00:05:46,428 It's confusing. 131 00:05:54,464 --> 00:05:56,679 Maybe I'm doing this wrong. 132 00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:04,546 Have you ever been in detention? 133 00:06:04,687 --> 00:06:05,827 No. 134 00:06:06,336 --> 00:06:08,163 But I do take the school bus. 135 00:06:08,381 --> 00:06:10,054 And that is no party. 136 00:06:10,193 --> 00:06:12,762 It's like a mental hospital on wheels. 137 00:06:13,019 --> 00:06:15,062 That's a good use of simile. 138 00:06:15,168 --> 00:06:16,288 Thanks. 139 00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:18,241 Well, I'll see you tomorrow. 140 00:06:22,710 --> 00:06:23,742 I hope. 141 00:06:33,907 --> 00:06:37,335 Hello. I'm here for detention. 142 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,822 Where is the teacher? 143 00:06:40,806 --> 00:06:42,835 Not here yet. 144 00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:44,699 Oh. 145 00:06:49,730 --> 00:06:51,405 I have three dollars. 146 00:06:51,533 --> 00:06:53,765 Feel free to share it with the others. 147 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,519 Would you prefer a piece of paper? 148 00:07:06,587 --> 00:07:08,681 I have some in my briefcase. 149 00:07:10,025 --> 00:07:11,751 It's here if you change your mind. 150 00:07:11,819 --> 00:07:13,829 All right, losers, you know how this works. 151 00:07:14,056 --> 00:07:16,478 One hour, no talking, no horseplay. 152 00:07:16,555 --> 00:07:17,869 Sheldon? 153 00:07:17,946 --> 00:07:19,437 Hello, Mr. Givens. 154 00:07:19,748 --> 00:07:20,748 Why are you here? 155 00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:23,324 I didn't want to catch a cold from Ms. MacElroy, 156 00:07:23,392 --> 00:07:25,921 so I left her classroom without a hall pass. 157 00:07:25,998 --> 00:07:28,564 Well, something is going around. 158 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,925 I actually had a little tickle in my throat. 159 00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:33,480 Okay, time to go. Nice meeting you. 160 00:07:33,548 --> 00:07:34,797 Whoa, what-what are you doing? 161 00:07:34,874 --> 00:07:36,634 You've heard of fight or flight? 162 00:07:36,767 --> 00:07:38,392 This is flight. 163 00:07:40,885 --> 00:07:42,644 Not so funny now, is it? 164 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,047 No. How long is he suspended for? 165 00:07:45,149 --> 00:07:46,174 A week. 166 00:07:46,242 --> 00:07:48,174 And it goes on his permanent record. 167 00:07:48,242 --> 00:07:49,715 Well, that's no big deal. 168 00:07:49,813 --> 00:07:53,156 I had all kinds of stuff on my permanent high school record. 169 00:07:53,310 --> 00:07:56,406 Didn't stop me from being a bartender for eight years. 170 00:07:56,547 --> 00:07:59,570 I think the real issue we need to deal with is his germ phobia. 171 00:07:59,638 --> 00:08:00,679 Oh, yes, you don't 172 00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,472 want him turning into Howard Hughes. 173 00:08:02,544 --> 00:08:04,406 Growing his nails out. 174 00:08:04,645 --> 00:08:06,288 Peeing in a jar. 175 00:08:06,547 --> 00:08:09,592 - Why would he pee into a jar? - I don't know why he peed in a jar, 176 00:08:09,660 --> 00:08:11,242 I just know he did. 177 00:08:11,518 --> 00:08:12,952 I hate to say it, 178 00:08:13,020 --> 00:08:14,912 but I think we need help with this. 179 00:08:15,017 --> 00:08:16,588 - Like what? - Maybe we could 180 00:08:16,656 --> 00:08:18,925 take him to that nice doctor who calmed him down 181 00:08:19,002 --> 00:08:21,242 when he was convinced he had an enlarged prostate? 182 00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:22,907 Sheldon only calmed down when the doctor told him 183 00:08:22,974 --> 00:08:24,726 what happens in a prostate exam. 184 00:08:25,159 --> 00:08:26,340 Poor thing. 185 00:08:26,408 --> 00:08:28,054 Still talks about it. 186 00:08:31,281 --> 00:08:33,179 Thank you for seeing us, Doctor. 187 00:08:33,343 --> 00:08:34,585 No problem. 188 00:08:34,718 --> 00:08:37,710 So, what do you got today, Sheldon? 189 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:39,906 Rickets? Rabies? 190 00:08:39,974 --> 00:08:41,899 Early-onset menopause? 191 00:08:42,624 --> 00:08:43,950 Is he making a joke? 192 00:08:44,027 --> 00:08:45,273 I believe so. 193 00:08:45,341 --> 00:08:46,484 Humorous. 194 00:08:46,571 --> 00:08:48,563 - Hmm. - Sheldon's not sick, 195 00:08:48,631 --> 00:08:51,467 but he has become overly concerned with getting a cold 196 00:08:51,535 --> 00:08:53,760 - or the flu. - Well, any symptoms... 197 00:08:53,828 --> 00:08:55,353 Runny nose, achy, 198 00:08:55,421 --> 00:08:57,369 - sore throat, fever? - No. 199 00:08:57,458 --> 00:09:00,799 All right, well, Sheldon, if you do catch a cold, 200 00:09:00,867 --> 00:09:04,261 or even the flu, it's... it's not the end of the world. 201 00:09:04,484 --> 00:09:07,607 The flu was the end of the world for half a million Americans 202 00:09:07,684 --> 00:09:10,296 during the influenza epidemic of 1918. 203 00:09:10,398 --> 00:09:11,934 - Really? - In India 204 00:09:12,011 --> 00:09:13,851 17 million people died. 205 00:09:13,931 --> 00:09:16,062 Okay, I think we're getting off the subject. Doctor, 206 00:09:16,130 --> 00:09:18,007 Sheldon is afraid to go to school 207 00:09:18,075 --> 00:09:19,243 because he might get exposed 208 00:09:19,311 --> 00:09:21,640 to some kind of bacteria or virus. 209 00:09:21,708 --> 00:09:23,874 So he's got a phobia? 210 00:09:23,942 --> 00:09:26,279 It's not a phobia if the threat is real. 211 00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:28,202 You're a doctor, you should know that. 212 00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:32,312 Sheldon, you have nothing to worry about. 213 00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:34,272 Even if you did get the flu, 214 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,163 it's usually over in a week. 215 00:09:36,381 --> 00:09:39,445 Why are we getting medical advice from a man who smokes? 216 00:09:39,519 --> 00:09:41,134 Sheldon. O-Okay, 217 00:09:41,202 --> 00:09:43,601 I have patients who are actually sick. 218 00:09:43,669 --> 00:09:45,585 Maybe we should wrap this up. 219 00:09:45,846 --> 00:09:47,968 How come you don't get sick all the time? 220 00:09:48,093 --> 00:09:49,565 Well, I take precautions. 221 00:09:49,633 --> 00:09:52,960 I wash my hands, I wear gloves and a mask. 222 00:10:04,962 --> 00:10:07,231 So, Mom, how was your day? 223 00:10:09,052 --> 00:10:11,021 We're ignoring this? 224 00:10:11,615 --> 00:10:13,134 Okay. 225 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,055 So pretty. 226 00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:26,391 What's going on? 227 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,088 I'm not feeling so good. 228 00:10:30,545 --> 00:10:33,001 Biohazard! Biohazard! 229 00:10:33,464 --> 00:10:34,876 Sucker. 230 00:10:35,453 --> 00:10:36,829 In national news, 231 00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:41,188 an unusually early flu season is buffeting the country. 232 00:10:41,256 --> 00:10:44,321 Doctors say the strain, originating in China, 233 00:10:44,389 --> 00:10:46,743 is particularly severe. 234 00:10:46,811 --> 00:10:50,837 Children and the elderly are most at risk. 235 00:10:51,089 --> 00:10:53,291 Sheldon, why are you still up? 236 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,367 We're all gonna die! 237 00:10:55,491 --> 00:10:56,983 About the local cattle... 238 00:10:57,051 --> 00:10:58,085 This isn't funny! 239 00:10:58,153 --> 00:11:00,463 I know, baby, I know. 240 00:11:00,531 --> 00:11:04,180 But you need to understand that sometimes 241 00:11:04,248 --> 00:11:06,816 the news says those things just to scare people. 242 00:11:06,884 --> 00:11:09,180 - Well, it's working! - Come here. 243 00:11:09,248 --> 00:11:10,751 I know you don't believe in this, 244 00:11:10,819 --> 00:11:12,544 but I'm gonna do it anyway. 245 00:11:14,627 --> 00:11:17,470 Lord, I pray for my son Sheldon 246 00:11:17,538 --> 00:11:20,579 that you protect him from all illness and disease, 247 00:11:20,704 --> 00:11:23,173 and keep him healthy and keep him safe, 248 00:11:23,352 --> 00:11:26,220 and protect him from his head to his toes, 249 00:11:26,342 --> 00:11:29,100 inside and out. Amen. 250 00:11:30,684 --> 00:11:33,787 You're right. I don't believe in that. 251 00:11:35,305 --> 00:11:39,048 But it did feel good. Thanks. 252 00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:42,673 In the Bible, that's called a hedge of protection. 253 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,235 Why do you keep smiling? 254 00:11:46,303 --> 00:11:48,954 You need to look at your mask, baby. 255 00:11:51,938 --> 00:11:53,845 Missy?! 256 00:11:56,611 --> 00:11:58,871 We have to go to school, and Sheldon doesn't? 257 00:11:58,939 --> 00:12:00,298 - That's not fair. - Sure it is. 258 00:12:00,366 --> 00:12:02,291 Sheldon loves school and can't go. 259 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,665 You hate school and have to. Fair. 260 00:12:05,493 --> 00:12:06,581 He still has 261 00:12:06,649 --> 00:12:08,118 to spend his day doing chores. 262 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:09,930 Can't sit around playing with his trains. 263 00:12:09,998 --> 00:12:12,345 Yeah, put him to work. Good parenting, Dad. 264 00:12:12,449 --> 00:12:14,048 Oh, I'm glad you approve. 265 00:12:14,116 --> 00:12:15,423 I do. 266 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,228 Where you going? 267 00:12:18,398 --> 00:12:20,367 I'm gonna give Sheldon a list of chores. 268 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,243 You're actually taking my advice? 269 00:12:22,319 --> 00:12:23,345 Yes. 270 00:12:23,426 --> 00:12:24,876 Well, how about that? 271 00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:27,345 Hey, you were due. 272 00:12:29,453 --> 00:12:30,876 Proud of you, George. 273 00:12:39,716 --> 00:12:41,329 Sheldon? 274 00:12:41,434 --> 00:12:42,515 Yes. 275 00:12:42,614 --> 00:12:45,048 The door's locked. Can you open it? 276 00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,173 No. 277 00:12:47,674 --> 00:12:49,360 What on earth? 278 00:13:00,636 --> 00:13:02,661 Hello. What are you doing? 279 00:13:02,729 --> 00:13:05,509 I made a real germ-proof hedge of protection. 280 00:13:05,650 --> 00:13:08,134 Oh, honey, you can't stay in there. 281 00:13:08,319 --> 00:13:11,438 I've got a refrigerator, I've got my sleeping bag, 282 00:13:11,506 --> 00:13:14,774 and anything else I need I can make out of Legos. 283 00:13:15,047 --> 00:13:17,494 What's with the Halloween costume? 284 00:13:19,804 --> 00:13:21,915 In case of a breach. 285 00:13:23,743 --> 00:13:25,251 Stay right there. 286 00:13:25,319 --> 00:13:26,720 That's my plan. 287 00:13:26,788 --> 00:13:28,713 George? 288 00:13:32,152 --> 00:13:35,144 Just when you think he's gonna zig, 289 00:13:35,221 --> 00:13:36,645 you get a big old zag. 290 00:13:36,793 --> 00:13:38,970 It's ridiculous. I'm... I'm gonna take it down. 291 00:13:39,038 --> 00:13:41,230 No, you can't force him out of a phobia. 292 00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,141 - What do we do? - He can't live in there. 293 00:13:43,209 --> 00:13:44,366 Well, actually, he can. 294 00:13:44,434 --> 00:13:46,899 He's got the refrigerator and a sleeping bag. 295 00:13:47,001 --> 00:13:49,446 And he can always go potty in the sink. 296 00:13:50,376 --> 00:13:52,212 I think I'll take the kids to school. 297 00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,766 I'm sure he'll be out by the time you get home. 298 00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:57,203 Not sure why you think that, but okay. 299 00:13:57,555 --> 00:13:59,295 - Mom? - Yes, Shelly. 300 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,706 Can you close the door? 301 00:14:00,783 --> 00:14:02,675 I need to use the sink. 302 00:14:09,290 --> 00:14:11,073 - Tammy Cook? - Here. 303 00:14:11,305 --> 00:14:13,452 - Georgie Cooper? - Here. 304 00:14:13,727 --> 00:14:16,290 - Sheldon Cooper? - Absent. 305 00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:18,657 - Where's your brother? - Home. 306 00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:19,774 Is he okay? 307 00:14:19,842 --> 00:14:20,960 Yeah, he's just... 308 00:14:22,155 --> 00:14:24,889 Actually, it's not looking good for him. 309 00:14:25,077 --> 00:14:26,465 He might not make it. 310 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:29,268 Oh, that's terrible. I know. 311 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,327 I love him so much. 312 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:35,163 If anything ever happened, I don't know what I'd do. 313 00:14:35,999 --> 00:14:37,610 Aw. 314 00:14:44,219 --> 00:14:45,475 Shelly, if you don't mind 315 00:14:45,543 --> 00:14:47,918 me asking, what's your long-term plan here? 316 00:14:47,986 --> 00:14:50,232 I'm working on the math to turn the garage 317 00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,394 into a self-sustaining ecosystem. 318 00:14:52,462 --> 00:14:54,769 Okay. And what exactly does that mean? 319 00:14:54,837 --> 00:14:58,225 Well, all I need is sunlight and a few seeds to grow unlimited food 320 00:14:58,293 --> 00:15:00,629 which I'll fertilize with my own feces. 321 00:15:00,697 --> 00:15:02,472 This just gets better. 322 00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:05,154 If you're not gonna help, please go inside. 323 00:15:05,222 --> 00:15:06,539 This is not a show. 324 00:15:06,683 --> 00:15:08,629 Now that's where I disagree. 325 00:15:10,264 --> 00:15:12,652 Shelly, baby, please come on out. 326 00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:13,832 I can't. 327 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,787 - Come on. - I'm your mommy. 328 00:15:15,855 --> 00:15:17,283 Do it for your mommy. 329 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,540 No. 330 00:15:19,576 --> 00:15:20,744 But I'm your mommy. 331 00:15:20,812 --> 00:15:23,104 Y'all are killing me. 332 00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:27,246 "I'm your mommy." 333 00:15:27,402 --> 00:15:31,587 I think the saddest part about it is just how sad it is. 334 00:15:31,777 --> 00:15:33,785 Is there anything that we can do? 335 00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:35,992 I don't know. 336 00:15:36,129 --> 00:15:37,636 A hug might help. 337 00:15:37,735 --> 00:15:39,660 Of course. 338 00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,398 What's wrong with you two? 339 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,343 Don't you care about my brother? 340 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,178 Aw. 341 00:15:53,225 --> 00:15:55,744 Oh, Sheldon. 342 00:15:56,116 --> 00:15:58,188 That's it. I've had enough of this nonsense. 343 00:15:58,256 --> 00:16:00,452 If you don't come out, I'm coming in! 344 00:16:00,639 --> 00:16:02,709 One, two, 345 00:16:02,906 --> 00:16:05,079 - three. - Breach! Breach! 346 00:16:05,147 --> 00:16:08,092 - You come here right this instant! - No. 347 00:16:08,185 --> 00:16:09,204 Oh! 348 00:16:09,273 --> 00:16:10,743 ♪♪ 349 00:16:10,811 --> 00:16:13,931 ♪ That's great, it starts with an earthquake ♪ 350 00:16:13,999 --> 00:16:16,571 Sheldon! ♪ Birds and snakes and aeroplanes... ♪ 351 00:16:16,639 --> 00:16:18,381 You can't run away from me forever. 352 00:16:18,491 --> 00:16:21,214 I don't have to do it forever. Just till you get tired. 353 00:16:21,291 --> 00:16:22,438 Mary, 354 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,204 I'm gonna run and go get my video camera. 355 00:16:24,272 --> 00:16:25,610 Don't catch him till I get back. 356 00:16:25,678 --> 00:16:26,874 This is not a joke! 357 00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,264 Sheldon, get over here! 358 00:16:28,332 --> 00:16:30,938 ♪ It's the end of the world ♪ 359 00:16:31,006 --> 00:16:33,436 ♪ As we know it Get over here. ♪ 360 00:16:33,504 --> 00:16:36,350 Sheldon Lee Cooper, get here. 361 00:16:36,444 --> 00:16:37,655 Right now. 362 00:16:37,749 --> 00:16:40,358 Oh, Lord, I think I'm gonna wet myself. 363 00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:43,190 Get! You come here! Sheldon Lee Cooper! 364 00:16:43,258 --> 00:16:45,550 ♪ I feel fine. ♪ 365 00:16:49,432 --> 00:16:51,077 Look at that. 366 00:16:52,014 --> 00:16:54,423 St. Mary drinking alcohol. 367 00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:56,733 God saw what just happened. He gets it. 368 00:16:57,003 --> 00:17:01,024 Mind if I take a crack at catching the Road Runner? 369 00:17:01,092 --> 00:17:02,952 What are you gonna do that I couldn't do? 370 00:17:03,163 --> 00:17:04,522 Oh, a little trick I learned 371 00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,694 trying to get prairie dogs out of the hole. 372 00:17:07,022 --> 00:17:10,022 Of course we'd whack off their heads with a golf club. 373 00:17:10,137 --> 00:17:12,116 I'm not gonna do that to Sheldon. 374 00:17:15,108 --> 00:17:16,999 Oh, Moon Pie, 375 00:17:17,874 --> 00:17:21,240 I've got a little treat for you. 376 00:17:21,889 --> 00:17:23,097 Chocolate chip? 377 00:17:23,165 --> 00:17:25,954 Mm-hmm, right out of the oven. 378 00:17:26,022 --> 00:17:27,975 Good. That means they're sterile. 379 00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:32,616 Why don't you come on out here and... have a couple? 380 00:17:32,982 --> 00:17:34,270 I can't do that. 381 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,821 Okay, I tell you what. 382 00:17:35,898 --> 00:17:38,655 I'm gonna just put 'em right out here, 383 00:17:38,741 --> 00:17:42,155 and you can come out and get one when you're ready. 384 00:17:42,319 --> 00:17:45,147 How about that? I'm gonna put 'em down 385 00:17:45,225 --> 00:17:47,266 right... here. 386 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,538 Aah! 387 00:17:53,599 --> 00:17:55,443 Come on! Oh. 388 00:17:57,411 --> 00:17:59,185 Listen to me, buster. 389 00:17:59,389 --> 00:18:00,802 Okay. You are 390 00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:02,481 a lot of things, Sheldon. 391 00:18:02,558 --> 00:18:06,185 You are cute, smart, hygienic. 392 00:18:09,769 --> 00:18:11,790 But most of all... 393 00:18:12,261 --> 00:18:15,582 you... are a Texan. 394 00:18:15,650 --> 00:18:16,964 So? 395 00:18:17,077 --> 00:18:18,394 So Texans 396 00:18:18,564 --> 00:18:20,636 aren't afraid of nothin'! 397 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,308 Rattlesnakes, Indians, 398 00:18:23,558 --> 00:18:25,894 the Mexican Army. 399 00:18:27,418 --> 00:18:32,300 Do you imagine that Sam Houston was scared of a little old cold? 400 00:18:32,761 --> 00:18:33,974 No. 401 00:18:34,292 --> 00:18:35,739 Jim Bowie? 402 00:18:35,846 --> 00:18:37,160 No. 403 00:18:38,362 --> 00:18:40,649 Sissy Spacek? 404 00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:42,605 I... guess not? 405 00:18:42,729 --> 00:18:45,209 You're damn right, because they're Texans 406 00:18:45,277 --> 00:18:46,584 through and through. 407 00:18:46,652 --> 00:18:49,295 Now I want you to quit hiding in this plastic bubble, 408 00:18:49,363 --> 00:18:50,777 and I want you to come out here and 409 00:18:50,845 --> 00:18:54,285 eat your cookies out in the world like a man! 410 00:18:54,353 --> 00:18:56,207 Like a Texan man! 411 00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,190 I'm impressed. 412 00:19:19,338 --> 00:19:20,619 Me, too. 413 00:19:20,930 --> 00:19:23,471 I thought I'd lost him at Sissy Spacek. 414 00:19:23,947 --> 00:19:26,799 Whew! 415 00:19:32,253 --> 00:19:33,487 As you can see, 416 00:19:33,564 --> 00:19:36,893 my meemaw successfully lured me back into the world 417 00:19:37,072 --> 00:19:40,923 by reminding me of my brave Texas ancestors. 418 00:19:41,018 --> 00:19:43,288 Their blood ran through my veins. 419 00:19:43,356 --> 00:19:47,002 I was a true son of the Lone Star State. 420 00:19:47,124 --> 00:19:48,997 Albeit a true son 421 00:19:49,065 --> 00:19:51,963 with an incredibly fragile immune system. 422 00:19:52,127 --> 00:19:55,549 I woke up the next morning with a temperature of 102 423 00:19:55,721 --> 00:19:58,346 and a head packed full of mucus. 424 00:19:58,604 --> 00:20:02,776 However, there was a silver lining. 425 00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:07,141 ♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪ 426 00:20:07,209 --> 00:20:10,201 ♪ Little ball of fur ♪ 427 00:20:10,287 --> 00:20:13,897 ♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪ 428 00:20:13,967 --> 00:20:16,373 ♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪ 429 00:20:16,529 --> 00:20:18,068 Sing it again, Mom. 430 00:20:18,209 --> 00:20:19,701 First, blow your nose. 431 00:20:22,951 --> 00:20:26,342 ♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪ 432 00:20:26,443 --> 00:20:28,818 ♪ Little ball of fur ♪ 433 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:32,805 ♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪ 434 00:20:32,873 --> 00:20:35,481 ♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪ Synchronized by srjanapala 435 00:20:39,515 --> 00:20:42,372 ♪♪