1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,898
Previously on Young Sheldon...
2
00:00:01,901 --> 00:00:02,997
I saw Connie
3
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,834
for the first time since
I broke up with her,
4
00:00:04,837 --> 00:00:07,161
and it's making me wonder if she also
5
00:00:07,164 --> 00:00:11,441
is feeling lonely, and I made
a bad decision for both of us.
6
00:00:11,443 --> 00:00:13,429
I hate to be the one
to tell you this, John,
7
00:00:13,432 --> 00:00:15,679
but she's kind of been
seeing someone new.
8
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,247
She seems to be doing okay.
9
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:20,773
Oh, I hope he gets lost
at sea and never returns!
10
00:00:21,820 --> 00:00:24,220
I'm having a lot of feelings.
11
00:00:24,222 --> 00:00:26,195
- Hey.
- Connie.
12
00:00:26,198 --> 00:00:29,425
I thought I'd just, uh... say "hi."
13
00:00:29,428 --> 00:00:31,934
Would it be awkward if
I asked her to join us?
14
00:00:31,937 --> 00:00:34,565
Oh, couldn't be any more awkward.
15
00:00:37,469 --> 00:00:38,935
In many ways,
16
00:00:38,937 --> 00:00:42,270
a high school is like an
academic house of horrors.
17
00:00:43,175 --> 00:00:44,774
There's the cafeteria,
18
00:00:44,776 --> 00:00:46,276
which when even freshly cleaned,
19
00:00:46,278 --> 00:00:50,453
maintains a subtle aroma
of tater tots and throw-up.
20
00:00:50,456 --> 00:00:52,615
The schoolyard, where one is exposed
21
00:00:52,617 --> 00:00:55,840
to bullying by delinquents
and attacks from above
22
00:00:55,843 --> 00:00:57,934
by eye-pecking demons.
23
00:01:00,479 --> 00:01:03,326
But all of these pale in comparison
24
00:01:03,328 --> 00:01:05,862
to the most horrific location of all.
25
00:01:05,864 --> 00:01:09,666
A place teeming with
the sweat and secretions
26
00:01:09,668 --> 00:01:12,469
from hundreds of unwashed bodies.
27
00:01:12,471 --> 00:01:15,372
The swimming pool.
28
00:01:15,374 --> 00:01:17,551
Sorry, Sheldon. Water
safety is a required
29
00:01:17,554 --> 00:01:19,275
part of your P.E. class.
30
00:01:19,277 --> 00:01:20,877
But other kids use that pool.
31
00:01:20,879 --> 00:01:23,847
It's basically a big
bowl of teenager soup.
32
00:01:23,849 --> 00:01:26,750
It's out of my hands.
It's a state requirement.
33
00:01:26,752 --> 00:01:30,168
If you don't like it, take
it up with your congressman.
34
00:01:30,171 --> 00:01:31,421
I did.
35
00:01:31,423 --> 00:01:33,056
He won't return my calls.
36
00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:37,427
Then I guess you're swimming tomorrow.
37
00:01:44,903 --> 00:01:47,091
Except for the laughter,
the glowing eyes
38
00:01:47,093 --> 00:01:50,481
and the lightning, that's
exactly how it happened.
39
00:02:01,601 --> 00:02:08,421
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
40
00:02:09,515 --> 00:02:10,593
I'm a little nervous.
41
00:02:10,595 --> 00:02:12,504
You're the first ex-girlfriend
42
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:14,431
I've ever been friends with.
43
00:02:14,433 --> 00:02:17,192
And you're also my first ex-girlfriend.
44
00:02:17,195 --> 00:02:18,325
And that's because you...
45
00:02:18,328 --> 00:02:21,938
How about you just think
of me as your friend?
46
00:02:21,940 --> 00:02:25,041
Okay. Yes, that's good.
47
00:02:25,043 --> 00:02:27,543
So, I understand
48
00:02:27,546 --> 00:02:29,379
you're seeing someone new.
49
00:02:29,381 --> 00:02:32,115
Tell me everything.
50
00:02:32,117 --> 00:02:33,383
No!
51
00:02:33,385 --> 00:02:36,317
I assumed that, uh, as friends,
52
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,954
we could tell each other
about our personal lives.
53
00:02:38,957 --> 00:02:42,132
Trust me, John, you-you don't
want to hear about these things.
54
00:02:42,135 --> 00:02:43,992
Actually, I do.
55
00:02:43,995 --> 00:02:46,629
Your happiness is very important to me.
56
00:02:46,631 --> 00:02:48,731
Oh, what the hell.
57
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,733
His name is Dale.
58
00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:52,429
He owns a sporting goods store.
59
00:02:52,432 --> 00:02:54,504
And we've only been out a few times,
60
00:02:54,506 --> 00:02:56,572
but so far, so good.
61
00:02:56,574 --> 00:02:58,411
Well, that sounds wonderful.
62
00:02:58,414 --> 00:02:59,742
Good for you.
63
00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:01,010
Thank you.
64
00:03:01,012 --> 00:03:02,578
Now, would you like to hear
65
00:03:02,580 --> 00:03:04,347
about the women I'm dating?
66
00:03:04,349 --> 00:03:06,149
You're dating other women?
67
00:03:07,419 --> 00:03:09,419
Heavens, no.
68
00:03:09,421 --> 00:03:12,629
Come on, Jesus. This is for
your birthday. Help me out.
69
00:03:12,632 --> 00:03:17,160
Boy, Sheldon is really worked up
about this whole swimming thing.
70
00:03:17,162 --> 00:03:19,328
Don't you think he should
learn for his own safety?
71
00:03:19,330 --> 00:03:22,070
You really think he's ever
gonna go near a body of water?
72
00:03:22,073 --> 00:03:23,672
Yeah. It's only a matter of time
73
00:03:23,675 --> 00:03:25,409
before someone throws him in one.
74
00:03:25,412 --> 00:03:27,779
Well, break it to him gently.
75
00:03:27,782 --> 00:03:29,338
Wait... Me?
76
00:03:29,340 --> 00:03:32,375
Swimming's a sport, and
you're a sports person.
77
00:03:32,377 --> 00:03:35,478
And he's a mama's boy,
and you're his mama.
78
00:03:37,015 --> 00:03:38,881
How about we do it together?
79
00:03:40,018 --> 00:03:42,156
Fine, but you can't hang me out to dry.
80
00:03:42,159 --> 00:03:43,892
Of course not.
81
00:03:43,895 --> 00:03:46,262
We're a team. We're in
this together, right?
82
00:03:46,265 --> 00:03:47,632
You bet.
83
00:03:49,432 --> 00:03:51,578
She's gonna hang me out to dry.
84
00:03:54,899 --> 00:03:57,106
Observation is an important part
85
00:03:57,109 --> 00:03:59,035
of the scientific method.
86
00:03:59,037 --> 00:04:01,204
Darwin observed the finches,
87
00:04:01,206 --> 00:04:04,059
Jane Goodall observed the chimpanzees,
88
00:04:04,062 --> 00:04:05,575
and for some reason,
89
00:04:05,577 --> 00:04:09,046
Dr. Sturgis wanted to observe
my meemaw's new suitor.
90
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:11,048
Couple days, so...
91
00:04:13,444 --> 00:04:15,545
Excuse me just for one second.
92
00:04:16,992 --> 00:04:19,422
Howdy. Can I help you?
93
00:04:19,424 --> 00:04:21,445
No, no, just browsing.
94
00:04:21,448 --> 00:04:22,639
Yeah, well,
95
00:04:22,642 --> 00:04:24,875
any particular sport
you might need that for?
96
00:04:24,878 --> 00:04:27,095
Depends. What the heck is it?
97
00:04:27,098 --> 00:04:29,232
It's a cup.
98
00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:30,742
A cup?
99
00:04:30,745 --> 00:04:33,935
What kind of a cup has holes in it?
100
00:04:33,938 --> 00:04:37,640
Well, it protects your private parts.
101
00:04:37,642 --> 00:04:39,809
Oh.
102
00:04:39,811 --> 00:04:41,546
Well, I can see how
103
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:42,941
that might be useful.
104
00:04:42,944 --> 00:04:45,781
Well, this has been very informative.
105
00:04:45,784 --> 00:04:47,416
Thank you.
106
00:04:47,418 --> 00:04:49,585
You're welcome.
107
00:04:49,587 --> 00:04:51,287
You just, uh...
108
00:04:51,289 --> 00:04:53,570
If you have any more
questions, you let me know.
109
00:04:53,573 --> 00:04:55,574
I certainly will.
110
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:59,098
All right.
111
00:05:01,533 --> 00:05:02,917
Georgie, I want you
112
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,028
to keep an eye on
that weirdo over there.
113
00:05:05,031 --> 00:05:06,235
I know
114
00:05:06,237 --> 00:05:09,005
that weirdo. He used to date my meemaw.
115
00:05:09,007 --> 00:05:10,106
That guy?
116
00:05:10,108 --> 00:05:12,609
Yeah, he's, like, super smart.
117
00:05:16,414 --> 00:05:18,649
I'm not sure I believe you.
118
00:05:20,177 --> 00:05:21,877
Hey, Dr. Sturgis.
119
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,012
Hello!
120
00:05:23,015 --> 00:05:24,492
Wait. Uh-oh.
121
00:05:24,495 --> 00:05:26,355
Hello.
122
00:05:26,357 --> 00:05:29,425
I may have made a
questionable, uh, decision
123
00:05:29,427 --> 00:05:31,261
regarding our friendship.
124
00:05:32,297 --> 00:05:33,896
What have you done, John?
125
00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:35,918
I went to the sporting goods store
126
00:05:35,921 --> 00:05:38,125
to check out your new fella.
127
00:05:38,128 --> 00:05:39,628
Did you speak to him?
128
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:43,232
Oh, yes. In fact, he sold
me an athletic supporter
129
00:05:43,235 --> 00:05:45,474
to protect my genitals.
130
00:05:45,476 --> 00:05:47,176
Good.
131
00:05:47,178 --> 00:05:50,713
You may want to be wearing
that next time I see you.
132
00:05:50,715 --> 00:05:52,882
Okay.
133
00:05:54,686 --> 00:05:55,828
Shelly,
134
00:05:55,831 --> 00:05:57,960
can you turn the TV off for a second?
135
00:05:57,963 --> 00:05:59,335
But after this commercial break,
136
00:05:59,338 --> 00:06:01,390
Professor Proton is
going to use a candle
137
00:06:01,393 --> 00:06:03,890
to suck a hard-boiled
egg into a milk bottle.
138
00:06:03,893 --> 00:06:06,026
We'll make it quick.
139
00:06:06,029 --> 00:06:08,563
Go ahead.
140
00:06:08,566 --> 00:06:10,843
Your father has something to tell you.
141
00:06:12,704 --> 00:06:15,062
- Your mother wants you to swim.
- George!
142
00:06:15,065 --> 00:06:16,264
Mom!
143
00:06:16,267 --> 00:06:18,135
Who's ready to suck eggs?
144
00:06:29,854 --> 00:06:32,688
That was the lamest
tantrum I've ever seen.
145
00:06:32,690 --> 00:06:35,992
I'm being forced to
swim tomorrow in P.E.
146
00:06:35,994 --> 00:06:37,664
Poor baby. You have to play in a pool
147
00:06:37,667 --> 00:06:39,343
instead of sit in a classroom.
148
00:06:39,346 --> 00:06:42,631
A pool of sweat, germs
and dead skin cells.
149
00:06:42,634 --> 00:06:44,567
Still better than learning.
150
00:06:44,569 --> 00:06:46,632
Maybe it's time for me
to run away from home
151
00:06:46,635 --> 00:06:48,668
and join a traveling math club.
152
00:06:48,671 --> 00:06:50,093
Just pretend to be sick.
153
00:06:50,096 --> 00:06:53,041
But that would be lying. I'm not a liar.
154
00:06:53,044 --> 00:06:55,244
Well, you better be a swimmer.
155
00:06:55,246 --> 00:06:57,079
Or a drowner.
156
00:07:07,058 --> 00:07:08,291
Ugh!
157
00:07:08,293 --> 00:07:10,726
Why don't you like me?
158
00:07:10,728 --> 00:07:12,862
You're full of bacteria.
159
00:07:12,864 --> 00:07:17,067
So are you, but you don't hear
me saying, "Ugh." It's rude.
160
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,535
Look, I may just be pool water,
161
00:07:19,537 --> 00:07:22,204
but I still have feelings.
162
00:07:22,206 --> 00:07:23,639
Sorry, water.
163
00:07:23,641 --> 00:07:24,907
Come on.
164
00:07:24,909 --> 00:07:27,343
My pH level is 7.4,
165
00:07:27,345 --> 00:07:29,590
and with three parts
per million of chlorine,
166
00:07:29,593 --> 00:07:31,647
I'm cleaner than your daddy's plate
167
00:07:31,649 --> 00:07:33,168
after Thanksgiving dinner.
168
00:07:33,171 --> 00:07:35,251
Wow. That's pretty clean.
169
00:07:35,253 --> 00:07:38,707
Look how clear I am, Sheldon.
170
00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:42,426
You can see all the way to the bottom.
171
00:07:43,661 --> 00:07:45,554
Closer.
172
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,953
A little closer.
173
00:07:53,293 --> 00:07:55,327
A little closer.
174
00:07:58,259 --> 00:07:59,625
Gotcha!
175
00:07:59,628 --> 00:08:01,977
Pool monster!
176
00:08:03,848 --> 00:08:05,468
I don't feel well.
177
00:08:05,471 --> 00:08:07,426
What's wrong, baby?
178
00:08:07,429 --> 00:08:09,952
I don't know. I just feel awful.
179
00:08:09,954 --> 00:08:12,254
Well, there is something going around.
180
00:08:12,256 --> 00:08:14,606
Billy Sparks got some kind of bug.
181
00:08:14,609 --> 00:08:19,095
That is consistent
with what I said. Good.
182
00:08:19,097 --> 00:08:21,097
You're staying home today.
183
00:08:21,099 --> 00:08:23,203
I'll go make you some tea.
184
00:08:25,633 --> 00:08:27,934
Welcome to the dark side.
185
00:08:35,156 --> 00:08:36,647
Mom says you're sick.
186
00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:37,848
He's faking.
187
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,717
Really?
188
00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:43,632
Why? You love school.
189
00:08:43,635 --> 00:08:45,134
Swim test.
190
00:08:45,137 --> 00:08:46,789
Oh, sure. You would die.
191
00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:48,225
If you're gonna do this,
192
00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:49,726
let me give you some pointers.
193
00:08:49,728 --> 00:08:51,662
You've done this before?
194
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:53,196
Tell him.
195
00:08:53,198 --> 00:08:54,731
Oh, he's the master.
196
00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:56,800
He coached me through my last two...
197
00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:59,202
sore throats.
198
00:08:59,204 --> 00:09:01,367
I slept on the couch during those.
199
00:09:01,370 --> 00:09:02,669
I know.
200
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:03,929
First of all,
201
00:09:03,932 --> 00:09:06,543
you got to cough even
when Mom's not in the room.
202
00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:07,744
Got it.
203
00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:12,049
And don't put the
thermometer in the tea.
204
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,551
114 fever is a giveaway.
205
00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:16,820
- Smart.
- Told you.
206
00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:18,922
Oh, don't be afraid to let
her look in your throat.
207
00:09:18,924 --> 00:09:20,524
She's checking to see if it's red,
208
00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:21,925
but it's always red.
209
00:09:21,927 --> 00:09:23,489
You are good.
210
00:09:23,492 --> 00:09:26,064
Here, try spitting up a little phlegm.
211
00:09:33,939 --> 00:09:35,172
We got work to do.
212
00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:37,407
I'm sure he'll feel better tomorrow.
213
00:09:37,409 --> 00:09:39,976
And you can send any
homework that he needs to do
214
00:09:39,978 --> 00:09:41,344
with his brother.
215
00:09:41,346 --> 00:09:42,480
Thank you.
216
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:46,850
Doesn't this all seem
a little convenient?
217
00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:48,719
You think he's faking it?
218
00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:50,418
Today's the swim test.
219
00:09:50,421 --> 00:09:53,000
It's pretty suspicious.
220
00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:55,892
Sheldon just coughed up
something gross in a tissue.
221
00:09:55,894 --> 00:09:56,993
See?
222
00:09:56,995 --> 00:09:59,096
And that's why he's staying home.
223
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,598
Mary, come on.
224
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,800
No, I am not changing
my mind. My little boy
225
00:10:03,802 --> 00:10:05,503
is not a liar.
226
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,437
Connie Tucker?
227
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,009
- Yeah.
- Here you go.
228
00:10:13,011 --> 00:10:15,406
- Well, thank you.
- You're welcome.
229
00:10:15,409 --> 00:10:16,876
Hmm.
230
00:10:21,687 --> 00:10:23,304
"I overstepped
231
00:10:23,307 --> 00:10:24,988
the bounds of friendship.
232
00:10:24,990 --> 00:10:26,453
Sorry.
233
00:10:26,456 --> 00:10:29,358
John."
234
00:10:29,361 --> 00:10:30,527
Hello?
235
00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:32,362
So, why in the hell
would your ex-boyfriend
236
00:10:32,364 --> 00:10:34,565
send me a giant cookie?
237
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:37,554
_
238
00:10:39,538 --> 00:10:41,781
My little boy is not a liar.
239
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,808
My little boy is not a liar.
240
00:10:46,111 --> 00:10:48,007
You don't have a temperature.
241
00:10:48,010 --> 00:10:50,679
That's good. You want
to get comfy on the couch
242
00:10:50,682 --> 00:10:52,717
and watch your Star Trek tapes?
243
00:10:53,752 --> 00:10:56,052
No, thank you.
244
00:10:56,054 --> 00:10:59,090
I know what'll make you feel better.
245
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:03,160
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪
246
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:05,403
♪ Little ball of fur ♪
247
00:11:05,406 --> 00:11:07,697
♪ Happy kitty ♪
248
00:11:07,699 --> 00:11:09,065
♪ Sleepy kitty ♪
249
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:12,102
♪ Purr, purr, purr ♪
250
00:11:12,104 --> 00:11:14,989
♪ Soft liar, warm liar ♪
251
00:11:14,992 --> 00:11:18,039
♪ Little ball of fib ♪
252
00:11:18,042 --> 00:11:21,143
♪ Happy liar, sleepy liar ♪
253
00:11:21,146 --> 00:11:24,315
♪ Fib, fib, fib. ♪
254
00:11:26,242 --> 00:11:27,584
Feel better?
255
00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:29,054
Uh-uh.
256
00:11:32,624 --> 00:11:34,257
Really?
257
00:11:34,259 --> 00:11:35,892
Cooper's out sick?
258
00:11:35,894 --> 00:11:37,227
What a baby.
259
00:11:37,229 --> 00:11:40,030
Really? Cooper's out sick?
260
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:41,531
Oh, baby!
261
00:11:41,533 --> 00:11:43,233
Hallelujah!
262
00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:46,002
Happy birthday to me.
263
00:11:46,004 --> 00:11:48,772
Shelly, I'm gonna run
264
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:51,942
to the grocery store real quick
so I can make you some soup.
265
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:54,093
Okay.
266
00:11:54,096 --> 00:11:56,934
I had lied to my mother
and gotten away with it.
267
00:11:56,937 --> 00:11:59,650
The guilt was more than I could take.
268
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,382
I had to make this right.
269
00:12:03,385 --> 00:12:06,722
I could confess and
break my mother's heart,
270
00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:09,993
or I could turn my lie into the truth
271
00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:11,796
and actually get myself sick.
272
00:12:12,831 --> 00:12:14,564
Hi, Sheldon.
273
00:12:14,566 --> 00:12:17,000
Hello, Billy. I hear
you're not feeling well.
274
00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:18,781
I'm not. I have a cold.
275
00:12:18,784 --> 00:12:20,736
That's too bad.
276
00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:22,406
Put her there.
277
00:12:24,109 --> 00:12:25,408
Why?
278
00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:27,007
Just shake my hand, Billy.
279
00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:29,360
But my mom says that's
how germs get spread.
280
00:12:29,363 --> 00:12:30,567
- I know.
- You do?
281
00:12:30,570 --> 00:12:32,349
When did you talk to my mom?
282
00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:33,517
Just, eh...
283
00:12:36,054 --> 00:12:38,121
Ugh!
284
00:12:38,123 --> 00:12:39,724
Wait, want to play?
285
00:12:40,649 --> 00:12:42,414
Aw.
286
00:12:48,780 --> 00:12:50,921
Ooh, is that for your patient?
287
00:12:50,923 --> 00:12:51,922
Yes.
288
00:12:51,924 --> 00:12:53,624
He's still under the weather.
289
00:12:53,626 --> 00:12:55,559
Oh, that's too bad.
290
00:12:55,561 --> 00:12:57,494
Running a fever?
291
00:12:57,496 --> 00:12:58,960
No.
292
00:12:58,963 --> 00:13:00,329
Sniffly nose?
293
00:13:00,332 --> 00:13:02,214
No.
294
00:13:02,217 --> 00:13:03,483
But he couldn't even
295
00:13:03,486 --> 00:13:05,769
bring himself to watch
his Star Trek show.
296
00:13:05,771 --> 00:13:07,920
Oh, dear. I better go call an ambulance.
297
00:13:07,923 --> 00:13:09,155
You're not funny.
298
00:13:09,158 --> 00:13:10,892
And he ain't sick.
299
00:13:14,113 --> 00:13:16,480
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
300
00:13:16,482 --> 00:13:18,348
Mm.
301
00:13:18,350 --> 00:13:20,851
Now, don't fill up on those.
302
00:13:20,853 --> 00:13:23,443
We still got two giant
cookies to finish.
303
00:13:23,446 --> 00:13:25,847
I'm sorry about all
that stuff with John.
304
00:13:25,850 --> 00:13:28,121
I... He means well, but sometimes
305
00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:31,028
he can just be, uh... a little quirky.
306
00:13:31,030 --> 00:13:32,863
Yeah, I kind of figured
that; yeah, I watched him
307
00:13:32,865 --> 00:13:35,175
play ping-pong with his own crotch.
308
00:13:35,178 --> 00:13:38,669
I don't know what that
is, but I'm sure he did it.
309
00:13:38,671 --> 00:13:40,537
Well, I mean, how'd you meet this guy?
310
00:13:40,539 --> 00:13:42,606
What, did you try to
steal his pot of gold
311
00:13:42,608 --> 00:13:43,941
at the end of the rainbow?
312
00:13:43,943 --> 00:13:47,389
Okay, okay, he's a very sweet man.
313
00:13:47,392 --> 00:13:48,952
Well, I bet he is.
314
00:13:50,670 --> 00:13:52,449
If you must know,
315
00:13:52,451 --> 00:13:55,152
he's Sheldon's college professor.
316
00:13:55,154 --> 00:13:57,254
Smart, short and weird...
317
00:13:57,256 --> 00:13:58,589
well, that's the whole package
318
00:13:58,591 --> 00:14:00,257
- right there.
- Hey, okay,
319
00:14:00,259 --> 00:14:01,559
that's enough.
320
00:14:03,213 --> 00:14:05,113
Well, I got to ask.
321
00:14:05,116 --> 00:14:07,550
Do you feel like you're dating
322
00:14:07,553 --> 00:14:10,038
a supermodel right now?
323
00:14:15,337 --> 00:14:17,545
You didn't touch your soup, baby.
324
00:14:18,577 --> 00:14:20,310
I'm not hungry.
325
00:14:20,312 --> 00:14:21,879
You aren't feelin' any better?
326
00:14:24,550 --> 00:14:26,283
Well, it'll be in the fridge
327
00:14:26,285 --> 00:14:27,952
if you change your mind.
328
00:14:34,793 --> 00:14:36,493
Young man.
329
00:14:36,495 --> 00:14:38,062
Yes, you.
330
00:14:39,006 --> 00:14:40,731
Pretending to be sick.
331
00:14:40,733 --> 00:14:42,980
You should be ashamed of yourself!
332
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,061
But I was afraid to go in the pool.
333
00:14:45,064 --> 00:14:46,270
You are in a pool.
334
00:14:46,272 --> 00:14:48,217
A pool of your own deceit.
335
00:14:48,952 --> 00:14:50,566
If my mother were alive,
336
00:14:50,569 --> 00:14:53,377
I'd never lie to her.
337
00:14:53,379 --> 00:14:56,747
And I'd always eat her soup.
338
00:14:56,749 --> 00:14:58,815
My grandson's trying to steal home,
339
00:14:58,817 --> 00:15:01,425
and he trips and he
falls and lands face-first
340
00:15:01,428 --> 00:15:04,503
on the plate, lost a
tooth, we won the game.
341
00:15:04,506 --> 00:15:06,690
Get this.
342
00:15:06,692 --> 00:15:09,426
He finds the tooth two days later...
343
00:15:09,428 --> 00:15:12,262
when he goes to the bathroom.
344
00:15:17,285 --> 00:15:19,018
That's it?
345
00:15:19,021 --> 00:15:20,337
You don't understand.
346
00:15:20,339 --> 00:15:21,371
He found the tooth...
347
00:15:21,373 --> 00:15:22,839
I got it.
348
00:15:22,841 --> 00:15:24,474
What's going on? You okay?
349
00:15:24,476 --> 00:15:25,876
Actually, no.
350
00:15:25,878 --> 00:15:28,745
I don't like the way you've
been talkin' about John.
351
00:15:28,747 --> 00:15:31,315
I was kidding around.
352
00:15:31,317 --> 00:15:32,616
Well, it bothered me.
353
00:15:32,618 --> 00:15:34,284
Wait a minute, hold
it, hold, hold, hold.
354
00:15:34,286 --> 00:15:37,888
Your weirdo ex comes sneaking
around, checking me out,
355
00:15:37,890 --> 00:15:39,956
and all of a sudden,
I'm the bad guy here?
356
00:15:39,958 --> 00:15:41,658
You don't get to call him a weirdo.
357
00:15:41,660 --> 00:15:43,288
You don't think he's a weirdo?
358
00:15:43,291 --> 00:15:44,394
Of course he's a weirdo.
359
00:15:44,396 --> 00:15:45,929
You just can't say it.
360
00:15:45,931 --> 00:15:48,967
Oh, I didn't think it
was that big a deal.
361
00:15:48,970 --> 00:15:50,932
Well, it is. He and I
362
00:15:50,935 --> 00:15:53,160
are friends, and if you
don't stop makin' fun of him,
363
00:15:53,163 --> 00:15:55,456
you and I are gonna have a problem.
364
00:15:55,459 --> 00:15:58,527
Are you saying that I'm being naughty,
365
00:15:58,530 --> 00:16:01,745
and you're threatening to punish me?
366
00:16:01,747 --> 00:16:04,948
'Cause I might like that.
367
00:16:04,950 --> 00:16:07,150
Uh-huh.
368
00:16:07,152 --> 00:16:09,821
See, you're tryin' to be
mad at me and you can't.
369
00:16:11,913 --> 00:16:13,657
Now you are getting punished.
370
00:16:13,659 --> 00:16:14,926
Check, please!
371
00:16:17,383 --> 00:16:18,777
Mom.
372
00:16:18,780 --> 00:16:20,397
Oh, baby.
373
00:16:20,399 --> 00:16:22,058
What are you doing out of bed?
374
00:16:22,061 --> 00:16:24,568
I don't need to be in bed.
375
00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:26,319
I'm not sick.
376
00:16:26,322 --> 00:16:27,371
What?
377
00:16:27,373 --> 00:16:29,239
I lied to you
378
00:16:29,241 --> 00:16:31,708
so that I wouldn't have
to take the swim test.
379
00:16:31,710 --> 00:16:32,809
You lied?
380
00:16:32,811 --> 00:16:34,911
I feel terrible about it.
381
00:16:34,913 --> 00:16:37,681
Well, you should feel terrible.
382
00:16:37,684 --> 00:16:39,182
I trusted you.
383
00:16:39,184 --> 00:16:41,433
I'm sorry. It's just
that I was so afraid
384
00:16:41,436 --> 00:16:42,972
to get in that pool, so I let Georgie
385
00:16:42,975 --> 00:16:44,276
and Missy teach me how to fake it.
386
00:16:44,278 --> 00:16:45,778
They said it was easy, but it's wasn't.
387
00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:47,124
It really wasn't.
388
00:16:47,127 --> 00:16:49,222
Georgie and Missy taught
you how to do this?
389
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:51,595
I cannot tell a lie... they sure did!
390
00:16:51,597 --> 00:16:54,998
Okay, calm down.
391
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,801
Now, you listen to me,
you shouldn't have lied.
392
00:16:57,803 --> 00:17:00,437
It's always wrong.
393
00:17:00,439 --> 00:17:03,974
But you made up for it
by telling me the truth.
394
00:17:03,976 --> 00:17:05,542
So, you forgive me?
395
00:17:05,544 --> 00:17:07,043
I do, but...
396
00:17:07,045 --> 00:17:08,779
I need you to do me a favor.
397
00:17:08,781 --> 00:17:12,282
As far as your father is
concerned, you were sick.
398
00:17:12,284 --> 00:17:13,517
Isn't that lying?
399
00:17:13,519 --> 00:17:15,252
Honestly?
400
00:17:15,254 --> 00:17:16,721
No.
401
00:17:19,075 --> 00:17:21,364
The following day, I returned to school.
402
00:17:21,367 --> 00:17:23,269
I had no choice but to fulfill
403
00:17:23,272 --> 00:17:24,903
my swimming requirement.
404
00:17:24,906 --> 00:17:26,223
Much like Batman,
405
00:17:26,226 --> 00:17:28,864
I suited up and faced my fears.
406
00:17:29,746 --> 00:17:32,144
Unlike Batman, I did
it with a doggy-paddle
407
00:17:32,147 --> 00:17:34,281
across the shallow end of the pool.
408
00:17:34,283 --> 00:17:36,353
Uh, regarding pool sanitation,
409
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:37,851
it turned out I was right.
410
00:17:37,853 --> 00:17:39,689
It was teeming with germs.
411
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,384
Only I was the one
412
00:17:41,387 --> 00:17:42,689
who put them there.
413
00:17:42,691 --> 00:17:43,757
As it happens,
414
00:17:43,759 --> 00:17:45,125
my interaction with Billy Sparks
415
00:17:45,127 --> 00:17:46,326
did get me sick.
416
00:17:46,328 --> 00:17:49,830
I, in turn, created a small epidemic
417
00:17:49,832 --> 00:17:53,278
taking down 128 students,
418
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:54,794
four teachers...
419
00:17:54,797 --> 00:17:56,463
and one principal.
420
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:57,870
It didn't stop there.
421
00:17:57,873 --> 00:18:00,192
I also infected my mother,
422
00:18:00,195 --> 00:18:01,461
father,
423
00:18:01,464 --> 00:18:02,596
sister, brother,
424
00:18:02,599 --> 00:18:03,723
Meemaw...
425
00:18:03,726 --> 00:18:05,794
and Meemaw's friend Dale.
426
00:18:05,797 --> 00:18:08,541
The newly established
boundaries of friendship
427
00:18:08,544 --> 00:18:10,507
helped keep Dr. Sturgis healthy.
428
00:18:10,510 --> 00:18:12,611
However, in an unrelated incident,
429
00:18:12,614 --> 00:18:15,455
he crashed his bike
into some garbage cans.
430
00:18:15,458 --> 00:18:19,020
Luckily, he landed on his
recently acquired athletic cup.
431
00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:22,224
That was a wise purchase.
432
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:25,323
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --