1 00:00:01,566 --> 00:00:03,177 ADULT SHELDON: Behind every great scientist, 2 00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:07,181 there were often unsung helpers toiling away in the background. 3 00:00:07,224 --> 00:00:08,617 Presenting... 4 00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:14,492 When Alexander Graham Bell needed an assistant, 5 00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:16,277 it was Thomas Augustus Watson 6 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,322 who answered the call. [laughs]: Get it? 7 00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:19,758 "The call." 8 00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:21,021 [snickering] 9 00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:23,023 Madame Curie's daughter Irène 10 00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:25,025 was also her lab assistant. 11 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:28,637 Irène was so dedicated, she died of radiation poisoning. 12 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,465 Unlike her sister EÈve, 13 00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:33,076 who selfishly lived to 102. 14 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,253 Lastly, EÉmile Roux was assistant to Louis Pasteur. 15 00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:38,299 When they worked on the rabies vaccine, 16 00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:40,562 Roux kept a loaded gun in the lab 17 00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:42,912 to shoot Pasteur in the head if he got infected. 18 00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:46,133 He never had to, but it's fun to know he would have. 19 00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:47,395 LINKLETTER: No, Sheldon. 20 00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:49,049 You can't be my lab assistant. 21 00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,138 Maybe you weren't paying attention. 22 00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:52,052 I'll start over. 23 00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:53,792 Behind every great scientist, 24 00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:55,142 there was a dedicated as... 25 00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:58,058 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 26 00:00:58,101 --> 00:01:00,930 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain 27 00:01:00,973 --> 00:01:03,846 ♪ I bet I could be your hero 28 00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:05,804 ♪ I am a mighty little man 29 00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:10,287 ♪ I am a mighty little man.♪ 30 00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:13,986 LINKLETTER: Son, 31 00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:16,206 lab assistants are usually upperclassmen. 32 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,295 I believe I've been at this university 33 00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:19,688 long enough to be considered. 34 00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:20,993 You've been here two weeks. 35 00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:23,344 Hey, 16 days if you count orientation. 36 00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:26,129 Sheldon, there's a waitlist of students 37 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:27,696 who've applied for that position. 38 00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:29,437 I just can't give you special treatment. 39 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:30,960 Not with that attitude. 40 00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:33,441 Tell you what, I'll think about it. 41 00:01:33,484 --> 00:01:35,051 Should I come back or should I wait? 42 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,748 Come back.I'll wait. 43 00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:38,228 I thought about it. No. 44 00:01:38,272 --> 00:01:39,708 [The People's Court theme music plays] 45 00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:41,362 Judgment for plaintiff for $169.50. 46 00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:44,147 You think Judge Wapner and Rusty the bailiff 47 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,540 are friends in real life? 48 00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:46,758 Yeah. 49 00:01:46,802 --> 00:01:48,717 You can't fake that kind of chemistry. 50 00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:52,068 I'm flying! 51 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,723 There you are! Where have you been? 52 00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,986 We've been waiting for you.What is this? 53 00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:59,510 That's the exercise guy Meemaw likes. 54 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,121 Sweatin' to the Oldies 2... 55 00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:04,167 I can't believe anyone pays money to watch old people sweat. 56 00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:05,951 MISSY: 40 bucks? 57 00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:08,084 GEORGE JR.: They sold over a million of those? 58 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,738 At 40 bucks a pop? 59 00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:11,653 Do you know how much money that must be? 60 00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:14,134 I'm not a calculator. 61 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:20,314 40 times... one million. 62 00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,185 That's 40 million! 63 00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,187 Whoa. 64 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,581 And then he said he wouldn't give me special treatment. 65 00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:28,104 I think what he said is 66 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,888 everybody should be treated equally. 67 00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:31,325 I'm sorry, is this Russia? 68 00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:32,891 Should we get in line for bread? 69 00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:36,068 It's his lab, Sheldon. He can do what he wants. 70 00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:38,245 [country music playing over radio] 71 00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:39,463 I've got it. 72 00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:40,986 Dr. Linkletter likes you. 73 00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:43,380 You go on a date with him and when he tries to kiss you, 74 00:02:43,424 --> 00:02:45,687 say you'll do it, but only if he gives me the job. 75 00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:49,908 I'm gonna ask you to think hard about what you just said. 76 00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:52,259 What? I want something, he wants something-- 77 00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:53,521 seems like a win-win. 78 00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:54,783 Not for me. 79 00:02:54,826 --> 00:02:56,001 You get a free dinner. 80 00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:57,612 Make him take you someplace nice. 81 00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,788 Ooh, maybe Sizzler.Sheldon. 82 00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:02,617 [TV playing indistinctly] 83 00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:04,184 What are you doing? 84 00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:06,490 Gonna make an exercise video. 85 00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:07,926 Why? 86 00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:09,928 If Richard Simmons could make 40 million bucks, 87 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:11,800 think how much I could make with my face. 88 00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:13,976 What's your face got to do with it? 89 00:03:14,019 --> 00:03:16,196 What do you mean? I'm gorgeous, ask anybody. 90 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:19,286 [door opens][sighs] 91 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:22,463 ADULT SHELDON: Since my meemaw was being stingy with her love, 92 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:23,812 I had to find another way 93 00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:24,813 to change Dr. Linkletter's mind.[typing rapidly] 94 00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,815 I decided to treat this 95 00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,382 like a science experiment-- 96 00:03:28,425 --> 00:03:30,253 test various methods of persuasion 97 00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:32,516 to determine which was the most effective. 98 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,345 Dr. Linkletter, I was talking to the other physics professors 99 00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:37,956 and they think you having an 11-year-old lab assistant 100 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,089 would be neat.No. 101 00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:43,614 Don't you want your peers to think you're cool? 102 00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:45,181 No.I would. 103 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,008 No. 104 00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:48,489 [knocks]Dr. Linkletter? 105 00:03:48,532 --> 00:03:49,577 What? 106 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:50,665 If you look in your drawer, 107 00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,144 you'll find a little something. 108 00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:56,105 I hope you like peanut butter cookies. 109 00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:57,715 This isn't going to change my mind. 110 00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:59,500 You sure?Yes. 111 00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:01,328 Then give them back, they're my favorite. 112 00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:04,548 Say yes. 113 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:05,636 No. Yes. 114 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,116 No.Yes. 115 00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:09,510 No. HIja. 116 00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:10,728 What? 117 00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,121 That's "yes" in Klingon. 118 00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:13,731 How do you say "no" in Klingon? 119 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:14,689 Qo'. 120 00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:16,212 Qo'! 121 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,735 Aw. 122 00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:20,999 I overheard some of your other candidates 123 00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:22,784 talking about marijuana. 124 00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:24,655 [snack drops]I don't care. 125 00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:25,830 Well, you should. 126 00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:28,006 I think they plan on smoking it. 127 00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,921 [Linkletter groans softly] 128 00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:32,359 You know what?What? 129 00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,404 I was just admiring your posture. 130 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:37,407 You're not all hunched over like most people your age. 131 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:43,239 So, most people think you need expensive machines 132 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,675 to work out, 133 00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,547 but I just use free weights. 134 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,723 To be clear, they ain't free. You got to buy them. 135 00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:51,029 Are you watching yourself work out? 136 00:04:51,073 --> 00:04:53,118 I made an exercise video. 137 00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:54,642 Why? 138 00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:55,947 To sell. 139 00:04:55,991 --> 00:04:57,601 That's very important. 140 00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,603 Next, we're gonna do curls. 141 00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:01,083 'Cause, like I always say, 142 00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:03,651 curls get the girls. 143 00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,392 Oh, Lord.What? 144 00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:07,742 [sputters]You want to remember: squeeze it at the top. 145 00:05:07,785 --> 00:05:09,352 People like it when things rhyme. 146 00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:10,701 [grunts on video] 147 00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,964 [phone rings] 148 00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:15,967 Hello? 149 00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,969 Can I be your lab assistant? 150 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,407 What time is it? 151 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,712 That's not a no. 152 00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:25,237 If I say yes, will you please stop hounding me? 153 00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:26,761 Absolutely.LINKLETTER: Fine. 154 00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:28,328 You win. Good night. 155 00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:29,938 Just out of scientific curiosity, 156 00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:32,070 were you persuaded by the disorienting nature 157 00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:33,594 of this late-night phone call 158 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:35,422 or by the cumulative weight of my relentlessness? 159 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:36,553 That one. 160 00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:40,818 ADULT SHELDON: I learned an important lesson that night. 161 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,385 When you want something, 162 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:45,649 relentlessly annoying is your road to victory. 163 00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:53,614 How may I assist you today?Follow me. 164 00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:55,006 Should I look over your notes? 165 00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:57,008 Would you like me to double-check your math? 166 00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,619 See these bolts? 167 00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,055 Scrub the grease off. 168 00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,926 But there's hundreds of them.Yes. 169 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,406 That's where you come in. 170 00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:06,061 Surely there's a better use of my intellect.Son, 171 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,410 we're building a solar neutrino detector. 172 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:10,065 If you don't want the job, there's the door. 173 00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:11,632 No, I want it. 174 00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:13,460 Good man. 175 00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:18,856 [sighs] Although that door does look tempting. 176 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:20,249 So, I could really use your help 177 00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:22,120 making it look more professional. 178 00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:23,383 That's burn right there. [grunts] 179 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,602 Like, adding a little, you know... 180 00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:29,650 I think the word you're looking for is "pizazz." 181 00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:31,869 Exactly. So, you'll do it? 182 00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:34,219 Well, I'm flattered that you would ask, 183 00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:37,309 but exercise videos... 184 00:06:37,353 --> 00:06:39,964 That's not really what I do. 185 00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,662 But I've seen you on TV. 186 00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:44,447 I'm soft and firm 187 00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,797 in all the right places. 188 00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:48,146 You've been in plays. 189 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,626 It's all right, Molly. 190 00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,802 Annie's here. 191 00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:53,674 Don't forget my modeling work. 192 00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,719 ♪ 193 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:58,374 But I have a reputation. 194 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,855 When people hear the name Gene Lundy, 195 00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:02,465 they expect quality. 196 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,511 They expect showmanship. 197 00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:06,687 [chuckles] They expect me to get paid. 198 00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,384 Oh, I'm gonna pay you. 199 00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:11,474 Let's make an exercise video! [chuckles] 200 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:14,303 ADULT SHELDON: While not the lab work I hoped to be doing, 201 00:07:14,346 --> 00:07:17,654 it did feel good to be part of an actual experiment. 202 00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,482 A tedious, menial part 203 00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:21,266 that could be performed by a monkey. 204 00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,704 Or worse, an engineer. 205 00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:25,749 Here you go. 206 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:28,883 473 grease-free bolts. 207 00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:31,276 [chuckles] Excellent.Now what? 208 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,495 How about I help you design 209 00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:34,149 an even better solar neutrino detector? 210 00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:36,499 Actually, what I need you to do is... 211 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:40,024 take this grease and put it on these bolts. 212 00:07:40,068 --> 00:07:43,288 But I just took the grease off the bolts. 213 00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:44,507 That was the wrong grease. 214 00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,553 This is the right grease. Have at it. 215 00:07:47,336 --> 00:07:49,338 If this is some kind of test to get me to quit, 216 00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:50,513 it's not going to work. 217 00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:52,036 I don't know what you were expecting, 218 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,603 but this is a menial job. 219 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:56,824 After this, I need you to sort a crate of resistors, 220 00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:59,522 strip a case of wire and then sweep up. 221 00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:00,523 Oh. 222 00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,917 Then I quit.[grease can thuds] 223 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,962 Now, I like the idea 224 00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:06,529 of an exercise video. 225 00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:09,401 I'm just not sure that weight lifting is the way to go. 226 00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:10,315 Why not? 227 00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:12,883 It's low-energy. You know? 228 00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:14,058 We don't want a one-man show. 229 00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:16,626 We want Starlight Express. 230 00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:18,323 I don't know what that is. 231 00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:20,804 You'd love it. Andrew Lloyd Webber, 232 00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:22,763 people on roller skates. 233 00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,765 That's a thought. Skater-cise. 234 00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:26,331 Do you... do you skate? 235 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:27,419 No. 236 00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:28,464 Too bad. 237 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,640 You sure I can't just lift weights? 238 00:08:30,684 --> 00:08:32,860 Aerobics is the way to go. 239 00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:35,732 It's got music. It's got energy.[snapping fingers] 240 00:08:35,776 --> 00:08:37,647 It's got what? 241 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,693 Pizazz?Bingo! 242 00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:41,346 Now, hear me out. 243 00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:44,741 We surround you with a bunch of dancing girls. 244 00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:46,134 No, even better. 245 00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:48,353 The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. 246 00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:51,487 If that's what "pizazz" means, I like it.[chuckles] 247 00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:54,534 Of course, to do this right, 248 00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:57,101 we are gonna need some financing. 249 00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:59,756 What does your father do for a living? 250 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,018 He's a coach here at the school. 251 00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:02,672 Oof. 252 00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:04,892 I know somebody who's got money. 253 00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,633 [doorbell rings] 254 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,200 What do you two want? 255 00:09:09,244 --> 00:09:12,813 What we want is to make you rich. 256 00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:15,206 Oh, God. 257 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,774 What do you mean you quit?It was beneath me. 258 00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:20,516 You need to learn there's nothing wrong with a little hard work. 259 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,605 Hard work is calculating neutrino properties 260 00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:23,954 to one percent accuracy. 261 00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,739 Anyone can wash bolts. 262 00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:27,392 You begged him for that job. 263 00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:29,960 I assumed he'd realize the value of my intellect 264 00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:31,614 and put it to good use. 265 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:32,702 Hang on. 266 00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:34,182 You made a commitment. 267 00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:36,488 When you say you're gonna do something, you do it. 268 00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:38,316 Well, he could find someone else. 269 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,709 Doesn't matter. 270 00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:42,625 This is about you being a man of your word. 271 00:09:44,148 --> 00:09:46,977 ADULT SHELDON: I wanted to point out that I couldn't be a man of my word, 272 00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:51,634 since I hadn't hit puberty, but he seemed pretty grouchy. 273 00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:53,027 GEORGE JR.: You know how you love 274 00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:54,985 those Richard Simmons tapes? 275 00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:56,944 Yeah. Well, what if I told you 276 00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:59,773 we have the next big thing 277 00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:02,166 in home fitness videos. 278 00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:05,866 Mm. And what kind of thing would that be? 279 00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:08,303 "Cowboy aerobics." 280 00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:09,870 [quietly]: Yee-haw. 281 00:10:09,913 --> 00:10:11,219 It's like, um, 282 00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:12,524 Sweatin' to the Oldies 283 00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:13,743 with a little bit of Southern swagger. 284 00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,005 [imitates gunshots quietly] 285 00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:16,180 Cool, huh? 286 00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:18,530 So, are y'all just 287 00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:20,445 trying to sell me an aerobics tape? 288 00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:21,664 No. 289 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:22,926 No, not at all. 290 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,928 We want you to give us money to make them. 291 00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:27,365 "Invest." He... he means invest. 292 00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:31,674 And who would be, uh, starring in this video? 293 00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:32,762 Me. 294 00:10:32,806 --> 00:10:34,895 [laughs] That's ridiculous. 295 00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:35,896 [chuckling] 296 00:10:35,939 --> 00:10:36,897 And Richard Simmons 297 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,246 ain't ridiculous? 298 00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:40,335 Well, now, the young man does have a point. 299 00:10:40,378 --> 00:10:41,466 Yeah, maybe on his head. 300 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:43,120 Look, you're not getting my money. 301 00:10:43,164 --> 00:10:48,125 Well, you are passing a-a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. 302 00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:50,214 And how much lifetime do you have left? 303 00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:52,347 That's not helping. 304 00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:55,263 No. 305 00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,267 All right, fair enough. 306 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,704 Thank you for hearing us out. 307 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:04,794 If you have a change of heart, you let us know. 308 00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,274 Screw that. 309 00:11:06,317 --> 00:11:07,710 My whole life 310 00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:08,972 I've seen you bet 311 00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:10,408 on football games, 312 00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:13,237 throw away all kinds of money at the track. 313 00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:15,849 If you want to gamble on something, 314 00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:18,416 why can't it be on your own grandson? 315 00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:22,333 How much money you need? 316 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:25,293 Well, now, um... 317 00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:28,644 how much money did you bet on football last year? 318 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,386 [chuckles]: Well, you're not getting that much. 319 00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:33,823 [phone rings]Hello? 320 00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:35,129 SHELDON: Dr. Linkletter? 321 00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:36,608 [sighs] Sheldon Cooper. 322 00:11:36,652 --> 00:11:39,742 I'm calling to apologize. I shouldn't have quit. 323 00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:42,571 I made a commitment, and I need to see it through. 324 00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:45,748 I appreciate that, but there's no need. 325 00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:49,883 There is. It's important to me, as well as my father. 326 00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:51,754 Fine.Excellent. 327 00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,974 Don't worry, I won't overstep my bounds. 328 00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:56,541 I give you my word as a Texan. 329 00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:58,543 Great.And a man. 330 00:11:58,587 --> 00:12:00,415 Very good.Well, a future man. 331 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:03,113 At present, my hormones and body hair aren't exactly 332 00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:05,115 what you'd call...Good night. 333 00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:06,682 [dial tone]Hmm. 334 00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:15,169 ADULT SHELDON: The next day I returned 335 00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:16,910 to my role as lab assistant with renewed vigor. 336 00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,215 Bolts were greased, 337 00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:19,956 wires were stripped, 338 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,393 floors were swept, all with a smile. 339 00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:23,873 It was a forced smile 340 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,483 but you'd never know. 341 00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:27,572 I must say, Sheldon, I'm impressed. 342 00:12:27,616 --> 00:12:29,879 I gave you my word and I'm standing by it.Well, 343 00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:32,577 I know it's not glamorous, but all scientists pay their dues. 344 00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:33,970 And I'm happy to do it. 345 00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:35,711 Good man. I understand my role here. 346 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,669 In fact, I noticed a flaw in your reaction rates, 347 00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:40,672 but I kept it to myself because I know my place. 348 00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:42,979 You really think there's a flaw? Oh, yes. 349 00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:44,198 What is it? 350 00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:45,982 I appreciate you testing me, 351 00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,244 but I'm not going to crack. 352 00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:48,724 I'm not testing you. 353 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,421 Nice try. 354 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,687 So, when are we gonna shoot this thing? 355 00:12:55,731 --> 00:12:57,124 Slow down, now. 356 00:12:57,167 --> 00:12:58,647 We've got to plan out. 357 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:01,128 You know, costumes, choreography, music. 358 00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,825 Let's start with the set. 359 00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,305 Now, I was thinking... 360 00:13:04,348 --> 00:13:06,046 an Oklahomatheme. 361 00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:07,612 Hay bales, saloon door, 362 00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:09,963 maybe a surrey with a fringe on top. 363 00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,181 A what with a what? 364 00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,617 Oh, you know. 365 00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:14,706 ♪ Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry ♪ 366 00:13:14,750 --> 00:13:17,187 ♪ When I take you out in my surrey ♪ 367 00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:18,536 ♪ When I take you out 368 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:19,929 ♪ In my surrey with the fringe... ♪ 369 00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:22,105 Okay, forget Oklahoma. 370 00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:23,150 Done. 371 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,196 ADULT SHELDON: In an effort to find out the mistake 372 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:27,850 in his experimental design, 373 00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:31,593 Dr. Linkletter performed his own experiment on me. 374 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:34,422 You know, Sheldon, I don't even care if you tell me the error. 375 00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,772 In fact, I'd rather you keep it to yourself. 376 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,165 All right. 377 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:40,210 [quietly]: Yeah. 378 00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:44,084 I got you a little something for all your hard work. 379 00:13:44,127 --> 00:13:46,564 It's about a little boy who doesn't let being dead 380 00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:48,740 stop him from having fun. 381 00:13:48,784 --> 00:13:50,003 Thanks. 382 00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:52,266 [chuckles] Now that I've given you something, 383 00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:53,833 perhaps you want to reciprocate. 384 00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:57,358 Sure. You can have this. I don't want it. 385 00:13:58,141 --> 00:14:00,796 [phone ringing] 386 00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:06,758 Hello? 387 00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:08,717 LINKLETTER: Uh, may I speak with Sheldon? 388 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,415 It's the middle of the night. Who the hell is this? 389 00:14:11,459 --> 00:14:12,939 Uh, wrong number. 390 00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:16,551 [dial tone] 391 00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:18,205 LUNDY: All right. 392 00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:20,860 [lively country music playing]Let's try it again. 393 00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:23,427 ♪ 394 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,910 ♪ Last night... [turns off music] 395 00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:32,132 I'm sorry, are-are we galloping, or are we doing double Dutch? 396 00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:34,351 You got to get your hips into it, 397 00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:35,613 All right? 398 00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:37,441 Yeah, you get your rope, you get your hip. 399 00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:39,617 We can gallop up, we can gallop back. 400 00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:41,445 We're lassoing and galloping 401 00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:43,012 around the corral.[knocking] 402 00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:45,014 Excuse me. 403 00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:46,102 We need to talk. 404 00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,408 Can it wait? 405 00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:48,975 I'm trying to turn your grandson here 406 00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:51,107 into the Richard Simmons of the Wild West. 407 00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:54,458 No, it can't. I took a look at this contract you sent over. 408 00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:56,591 Oh, well, that's just boilerplate legalese. 409 00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:58,158 I wouldn't even read that. 410 00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,377 Too late. I couldn't help but notice 411 00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:02,466 you're taking 80% of the profits. 412 00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:04,294 Eighty percent? 413 00:15:04,338 --> 00:15:05,817 Well, in case 414 00:15:05,861 --> 00:15:08,255 no one has noticed, I'm doing most of the work here. 415 00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:10,126 But it was all my idea. 416 00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:14,304 Your idea was lifting weights in some dingy garage. 417 00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:18,308 Cowboy aerobics was hatched in this egg right here. 418 00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:19,483 But it's my face. 419 00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:20,876 Any my money. 420 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,617 And my apologies, 421 00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:25,272 but 20% is all you're getting. 422 00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:27,970 Unbelievable. 423 00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:28,928 Excuse me. 424 00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,973 I've done all the choreography. 425 00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,322 I designed the sets. 426 00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:34,324 I-I made the costumes by hand. 427 00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:35,673 You think you can find 428 00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:37,937 sequined chaps in a mall? 429 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:39,242 No, you cannot. 430 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:42,028 And they give you quite the look when you ask. 431 00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:44,421 Come on, let's get out of here. 432 00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:46,032 Oh, fine, go ahead. 433 00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:48,382 And we're gonna make our own exercise video without you. 434 00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:49,861 No, we're not. 435 00:15:49,905 --> 00:15:51,646 No, we're not! 436 00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,650 And they call medramatic. 437 00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:58,653 ADULT SHELDON: The next day, Dr. Linkletter ran his experiment. 438 00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:01,569 I'm proud to say I never broke my word, 439 00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:03,527 and he eventually figured out the problem. 440 00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,007 [flames whooshing]LINKLETTER: Fire! 441 00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:06,878 Fire! 442 00:16:06,922 --> 00:16:08,010 Fire! 443 00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:10,578 Was it too much oxygen in the reagents? 444 00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:13,407 See? You didn't need my help after all. 445 00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:24,070 ADULT SHELDON: Mr. Lundy was undeterred. He sought out new investors 446 00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:26,637 and new talent to bring cowboy aerobics to life. 447 00:16:26,681 --> 00:16:28,030 LUNDY: You've got the look. 448 00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:30,032 [chuckles]: You've got the physique. 449 00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:33,557 If-if we could secure a star of your caliber, 450 00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:36,343 it would really put us on the map. 451 00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:38,998 I do look good in a cowboy hat. 452 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:41,391 You look good in everything. [chuckles] 453 00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:43,263 Come on, Mr. Hasselhoff. 454 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:44,568 Call me The Hoff. 455 00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:46,527 [chuckles]: Okay, The Hoff. 456 00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:48,181 So, what do you say? 457 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:52,141 Well, I've conquered television, music. 458 00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:55,710 I don't see why I couldn't add exercise videos 459 00:16:55,753 --> 00:16:57,494 to my empire. 460 00:16:57,538 --> 00:16:59,061 So you'll do it? 461 00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:01,629 You got The Hoff! 462 00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:03,109 Hot damn! I got The Hoff! 463 00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:04,458 [both laugh] 464 00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:06,025 By-by any chance, 465 00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:08,418 do you know what size chaps you wear? 466 00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:10,725 Oh. I got my own. 467 00:17:11,552 --> 00:17:13,293 Of course you do. [chuckles] 468 00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:16,252 [whip cracks][lively country music playing] 469 00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:20,343 All right, buckaroos, it's time for cowboy aerobics with... 470 00:17:20,387 --> 00:17:22,171 David Hasselhoff!David Hasselhoff! 471 00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:25,653 Who's ready to rustle up some muscles? 472 00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:28,656 [whooping]Let's saddle up and ride. 473 00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:30,440 ADULT SHELDON: Thanks to The Hoff, 474 00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:33,574 the video was a smashing success. 475 00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:37,012 Who wants a beach body like the ones on Baywatch? 476 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,797 Which I'm also in. Check your local listings. 477 00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:41,060 [ricochet sound effect] 478 00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:42,148 ADULT SHELDON: Unfortunately, 479 00:17:42,191 --> 00:17:44,019 Mr. Lundy put all his profits 480 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,326 into a musical about his life, entitled: 481 00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:48,328 Live, Laugh, Lundy. 482 00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:51,244 He is poor to this day. 483 00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:58,599 Captioning sponsored by CBS 484 00:17:58,642 --> 00:18:01,602 WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 485 00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:04,431 and TOYOTA. 486 00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:06,085 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org