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00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:03,875
ADULT SHELDON:
Behind every great scientist,

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00:00:03,875 --> 00:00:06,750
there were often unsung helpers
toiling away in the background.

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00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:08,125
Presenting...

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00:00:11,958 --> 00:00:14,458
When Alexander Graham Bell
needed an assistant,

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00:00:14,458 --> 00:00:16,250
it was Thomas Augustus Watson

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00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:18,292
who answered the call.
(laughs): Get it?

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00:00:18,292 --> 00:00:19,708
"The call."

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00:00:19,708 --> 00:00:20,958
(snickering)

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00:00:20,958 --> 00:00:22,958
Madame Curie's daughter Irène

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00:00:22,958 --> 00:00:24,958
was also her lab assistant.

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00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:28,583
Irène was so dedicated,
she died of radiation poisoning.

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00:00:28,583 --> 00:00:30,417
Unlike her sister Ève,

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00:00:30,417 --> 00:00:33,000
who selfishly lived to 102.

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00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,208
Lastly, Émile Roux was
assistant to Louis Pasteur.

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00:00:36,208 --> 00:00:38,250
When they worked on
the rabies vaccine,

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00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:40,500
Roux kept a loaded gun
in the lab

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00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,833
to shoot Pasteur in the head
if he got infected.

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00:00:42,833 --> 00:00:46,083
He never had to, but it's fun
to know he would have.

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00:00:46,083 --> 00:00:47,333
LINKLETTER:
No, Sheldon.

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00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:48,958
You can't be my lab assistant.

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00:00:48,958 --> 00:00:51,083
Maybe you weren't
paying attention.

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I'll start over.

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00:00:51,958 --> 00:00:53,708
Behind every great scientist,

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there was
a dedicated as...

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♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

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00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,833
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

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00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:03,750
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

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00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:05,708
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

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♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

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LINKLETTER:
Son,

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00:01:14,292 --> 00:01:16,542
lab assistants are
usually upperclassmen.

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00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:18,625
I believe I've been
at this university

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00:01:18,625 --> 00:01:20,000
long enough to be considered.

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00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,292
You've been here two weeks.

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00:01:21,292 --> 00:01:23,667
Hey, 16 days
if you count orientation.

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00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:26,417
Sheldon, there's a waitlist
of students

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00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:28,000
who've applied
for that position.

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I just can't give you
special treatment.

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00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:31,250
Not with that attitude.

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Tell you what,
I'll think about it.

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00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:35,333
Should I come back
or should I wait?

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00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:37,042
Come back.
I'll wait.

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00:01:37,042 --> 00:01:38,542
I thought about it. No.

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00:01:38,542 --> 00:01:40,000
(The People's Court
theme music plays)

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00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,667
Judgment for plaintiff
for $169.50.

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00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:44,417
You think Judge Wapner
and Rusty the bailiff

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00:01:44,417 --> 00:01:45,833
are friends
in real life?

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00:01:45,833 --> 00:01:47,042
Yeah.

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00:01:47,042 --> 00:01:48,958
You can't fake
that kind of chemistry.

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00:01:49,708 --> 00:01:52,333
I'm flying!

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00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:55,000
There you are!
Where have you been?

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00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,250
We've been waiting for you.
What is this?

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00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:59,792
That's the exercise guy
Meemaw likes.

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00:01:59,792 --> 00:02:01,375
Sweatin' to the Oldies 2...

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00:02:01,375 --> 00:02:04,458
I can't believe anyone pays
money to watch old people sweat.

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MISSY:
40 bucks?

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00:02:06,208 --> 00:02:08,333
GEORGE JR.: They sold
over a million of those?

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00:02:08,333 --> 00:02:10,000
At 40 bucks a pop?

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00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,917
Do you know how much money
that must be?

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00:02:11,917 --> 00:02:14,333
I'm not a calculator.

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00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:20,583
40 times... one million.

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That's 40 million!

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00:02:22,458 --> 00:02:24,417
Whoa.

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00:02:24,417 --> 00:02:26,833
And then he said he wouldn't
give me special treatment.

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00:02:26,833 --> 00:02:28,333
I think what he said is

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00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:30,125
everybody should
be treated equally.

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00:02:30,125 --> 00:02:31,583
I'm sorry, is this Russia?

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00:02:31,583 --> 00:02:33,125
Should we get in line for bread?

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00:02:33,125 --> 00:02:36,292
It's his lab, Sheldon.
He can do what he wants.

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00:02:36,292 --> 00:02:38,500
(country music playing
over radio)

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00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:39,708
I've got it.

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00:02:39,708 --> 00:02:41,208
Dr. Linkletter likes you.

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00:02:41,208 --> 00:02:43,625
You go on a date with him
and when he tries to kiss you,

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00:02:43,625 --> 00:02:45,917
say you'll do it,
but only if he gives me the job.

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00:02:45,917 --> 00:02:50,125
I'm gonna ask you to think hard
about what you just said.

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00:02:50,125 --> 00:02:52,500
What? I want something,
he wants something--

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00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:53,750
seems like a win-win.

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00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:55,000
Not for me.

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You get a free dinner.

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00:02:56,208 --> 00:02:57,833
Make him take you
someplace nice.

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00:02:57,833 --> 00:03:00,000
Ooh, maybe Sizzler.
Sheldon.

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00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,833
(TV playing indistinctly)

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00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:04,375
What are you doing?

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00:03:04,375 --> 00:03:06,708
Gonna make an exercise video.

85
00:03:06,708 --> 00:03:08,125
Why?

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00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:10,125
If Richard Simmons could
make 40 million bucks,

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00:03:10,125 --> 00:03:12,000
think how much I could make
with my face.

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00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,167
What's your face
got to do with it?

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00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:16,375
What do you mean?
I'm gorgeous, ask anybody.

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00:03:17,667 --> 00:03:19,500
(door opens)
(sighs)

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00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,667
ADULT SHELDON: Since my meemaw
was being stingy with her love,

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I had to find another way

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00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,000
to change Dr. Linkletter's mind.
(typing rapidly)

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00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,000
I decided to treat this

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00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,583
like a science experiment--

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00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,458
test various methods
of persuasion

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00:03:30,458 --> 00:03:32,708
to determine which
was the most effective.

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00:03:32,708 --> 00:03:35,542
Dr. Linkletter, I was talking to
the other physics professors

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00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:38,125
and they think you having
an 11-year-old lab assistant

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00:03:38,125 --> 00:03:40,208
would be neat.
No.

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00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,792
Don't you want your peers
to think you're cool?

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00:03:43,792 --> 00:03:45,333
No.
I would.

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00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:46,167
No.

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00:03:46,167 --> 00:03:48,667
(knocks)
Dr. Linkletter?

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00:03:48,667 --> 00:03:49,750
What?

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00:03:49,750 --> 00:03:50,833
If you look in your drawer,

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00:03:50,833 --> 00:03:52,250
you'll find
a little something.

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00:03:53,792 --> 00:03:56,250
I hope you like
peanut butter cookies.

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00:03:56,250 --> 00:03:57,875
This isn't going to
change my mind.

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00:03:57,875 --> 00:03:59,667
You sure?
Yes.

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00:03:59,667 --> 00:04:01,458
Then give them back,
they're my favorite.

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00:04:03,708 --> 00:04:04,708
Say yes.

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00:04:04,708 --> 00:04:05,792
No.
Yes.

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00:04:05,792 --> 00:04:07,250
No.
Yes.

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00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:09,667
No.
HIja.

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00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:10,875
What?

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00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:12,250
That's "yes" in Klingon.

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00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:13,875
How do you say "no" in Klingon?

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00:04:13,875 --> 00:04:14,833
Qo'.

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00:04:14,833 --> 00:04:16,333
Qo'!

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00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:17,833
Aw.

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00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:21,125
I overheard some
of your other candidates

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00:04:21,125 --> 00:04:22,917
talking about marijuana.

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00:04:22,917 --> 00:04:24,792
(snack drops)
I don't care.

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00:04:24,792 --> 00:04:25,958
Well, you should.

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00:04:25,958 --> 00:04:28,125
I think they plan on smoking it.

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00:04:28,125 --> 00:04:30,000
(Linkletter groans softly)

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00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,500
You know what?
What?

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00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:34,542
I was just admiring
your posture.

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00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:37,500
You're not all hunched over
like most people your age.

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00:04:40,458 --> 00:04:43,333
So, most people think
you need expensive machines

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00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:44,792
to work out,

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00:04:44,792 --> 00:04:46,667
but I just use free weights.

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00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:48,833
To be clear, they ain't free.
You got to buy them.

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00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:51,125
Are you watching
yourself work out?

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00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,208
I made an exercise video.

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00:04:53,208 --> 00:04:54,750
Why?

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00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:56,042
To sell.

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00:04:56,042 --> 00:04:57,708
That's very important.

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00:04:57,708 --> 00:04:59,708
Next, we're gonna do curls.

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00:04:59,708 --> 00:05:01,167
'Cause, like I always say,

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00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:03,750
curls get the girls.

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Oh, Lord.
What?

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00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,833
(sputters)
You want to remember:
squeeze it at the top.

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00:05:07,833 --> 00:05:09,458
People like it
when things rhyme.

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00:05:09,458 --> 00:05:10,792
(grunts on video)

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00:05:10,792 --> 00:05:13,000
(phone rings)

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00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:16,042
Hello?

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00:05:16,042 --> 00:05:18,000
Can I be your lab assistant?

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00:05:18,792 --> 00:05:20,500
What time is it?

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00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:21,750
That's not a no.

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00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:25,292
If I say yes, will you please
stop hounding me?

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00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:26,833
Absolutely.
LINKLETTER: Fine.

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00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:28,375
You win. Good night.

155
00:05:28,375 --> 00:05:30,000
Just out of
scientific curiosity,

156
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,125
were you persuaded
by the disorienting nature

157
00:05:32,125 --> 00:05:33,667
of this late-night phone call

158
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,500
or by the cumulative weight
of my relentlessness?

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00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:36,583
That one.

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00:05:38,417 --> 00:05:40,875
ADULT SHELDON:
I learned an important lesson
that night.

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00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:42,417
When you want something,

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00:05:42,417 --> 00:05:45,833
relentlessly annoying
is your road to victory.

163
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,542
How may I assist you today?
Follow me.

164
00:05:53,542 --> 00:05:55,333
Should I look
over your notes?

165
00:05:55,333 --> 00:05:57,333
Would you like me to
double-check your math?

166
00:05:57,333 --> 00:05:58,958
See these bolts?

167
00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:00,375
Scrub the grease off.

168
00:06:00,375 --> 00:06:02,250
But there's hundreds of them.
Yes.

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00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:03,750
That's where you come in.

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00:06:03,750 --> 00:06:06,375
Surely there's a better use
of my intellect.
Son,

171
00:06:06,375 --> 00:06:07,750
we're building
a solar neutrino detector.

172
00:06:07,750 --> 00:06:10,375
If you don't want the job,
there's the door.

173
00:06:10,375 --> 00:06:11,958
No, I want it.

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00:06:11,958 --> 00:06:13,750
Good man.

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00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:19,167
(sighs) Although that door
does look tempting.

176
00:06:19,167 --> 00:06:20,542
So, I could really use your help

177
00:06:20,542 --> 00:06:22,417
making it look
more professional.

178
00:06:22,417 --> 00:06:23,667
That's burn right there.
(grunts)

179
00:06:23,667 --> 00:06:25,917
Like, adding a little,
you know...

180
00:06:25,917 --> 00:06:29,958
I think the word
you're looking for is "pizazz."

181
00:06:29,958 --> 00:06:32,167
Exactly. So, you'll do it?

182
00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:34,500
Well, I'm flattered
that you would ask,

183
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:37,583
but exercise videos...

184
00:06:37,583 --> 00:06:40,250
That's not really what I do.

185
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:41,958
But I've seen you on TV.

186
00:06:41,958 --> 00:06:44,708
I'm soft and firm

187
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:47,083
in all the right places.

188
00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:48,417
You've been in plays.

189
00:06:48,417 --> 00:06:49,917
It's all right, Molly.

190
00:06:49,917 --> 00:06:52,083
Annie's here.

191
00:06:52,083 --> 00:06:53,958
Don't forget my modeling work.

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00:06:53,958 --> 00:06:56,000
♪ ♪

193
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,625
But I have a reputation.

194
00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:01,125
When people hear
the name Gene Lundy,

195
00:07:01,125 --> 00:07:02,750
they expect quality.

196
00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:04,792
They expect showmanship.

197
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,958
(chuckles)
They expect me to get paid.

198
00:07:06,958 --> 00:07:08,583
Oh, I'm gonna pay you.

199
00:07:09,417 --> 00:07:11,750
Let's make an exercise video!
(chuckles)

200
00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:14,542
ADULT SHELDON:
While not the lab work
I hoped to be doing,

201
00:07:14,542 --> 00:07:17,917
it did feel good to be part
of an actual experiment.

202
00:07:17,917 --> 00:07:19,708
A tedious, menial part

203
00:07:19,708 --> 00:07:21,500
that could be performed
by a monkey.

204
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:23,958
Or worse, an engineer.

205
00:07:23,958 --> 00:07:26,000
Here you go.

206
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,125
473 grease-free bolts.

207
00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:31,500
(chuckles)
Excellent.
Now what?

208
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:32,750
How about I help you design

209
00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:34,375
an even better
solar neutrino detector?

210
00:07:34,375 --> 00:07:36,708
Actually,
what I need you to do is...

211
00:07:36,708 --> 00:07:40,250
take this grease
and put it on these bolts.

212
00:07:40,250 --> 00:07:43,500
But I just took the grease
off the bolts.

213
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:44,750
That was the wrong grease.

214
00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:46,750
This is the right grease.
Have at it.

215
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,542
If this is some kind of test
to get me to quit,

216
00:07:49,542 --> 00:07:50,750
it's not going to work.

217
00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:52,250
I don't know what
you were expecting,

218
00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:53,833
but this is a menial job.

219
00:07:53,833 --> 00:07:57,042
After this, I need you
to sort a crate of resistors,

220
00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:59,708
strip a case of wire
and then sweep up.

221
00:07:59,708 --> 00:08:00,750
Oh.

222
00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:03,125
Then I quit.
(grease can thuds)

223
00:08:03,125 --> 00:08:05,167
Now, I like the idea

224
00:08:05,167 --> 00:08:06,708
of an exercise video.

225
00:08:06,708 --> 00:08:09,583
I'm just not sure that
weight lifting is the way to go.

226
00:08:09,583 --> 00:08:10,500
Why not?

227
00:08:10,500 --> 00:08:13,083
It's low-energy. You know?

228
00:08:13,083 --> 00:08:14,250
We don't want
a one-man show.

229
00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:16,833
We want Starlight Express.

230
00:08:16,833 --> 00:08:18,500
I don't know what that is.

231
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:21,000
You'd love it.
Andrew Lloyd Webber,

232
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,958
people on roller skates.

233
00:08:22,958 --> 00:08:24,958
That's a thought. Skater-cise.

234
00:08:24,958 --> 00:08:26,500
Do you... do you skate?

235
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:27,583
No.

236
00:08:27,583 --> 00:08:28,625
Too bad.

237
00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:30,833
You sure
I can't just lift weights?

238
00:08:30,833 --> 00:08:33,042
Aerobics is the way to go.

239
00:08:33,042 --> 00:08:35,917
It's got music. It's got energy.
(snapping fingers)

240
00:08:35,917 --> 00:08:37,833
It's got what?

241
00:08:37,833 --> 00:08:39,875
Pizazz?
Bingo!

242
00:08:39,875 --> 00:08:41,500
Now, hear me out.

243
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:44,917
We surround you
with a bunch of dancing girls.

244
00:08:44,917 --> 00:08:46,292
No, even better.

245
00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:48,500
The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

246
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:51,583
If that's what "pizazz" means,
I like it.
(chuckles)

247
00:08:52,417 --> 00:08:54,667
Of course, to do this right,

248
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:57,250
we are gonna need
some financing.

249
00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:59,917
What does your father do
for a living?

250
00:08:59,917 --> 00:09:01,167
He's a coach here at the school.

251
00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:02,833
Oof.

252
00:09:02,833 --> 00:09:05,042
I know somebody who's got money.

253
00:09:05,042 --> 00:09:06,750
(doorbell rings)

254
00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:09,333
What do you two want?

255
00:09:09,333 --> 00:09:12,958
What we want is
to make you rich.

256
00:09:12,958 --> 00:09:15,333
Oh, God.

257
00:09:15,333 --> 00:09:17,917
What do you
mean you quit?
It was beneath me.

258
00:09:17,917 --> 00:09:20,625
You need to learn
there's nothing wrong
with a little hard work.

259
00:09:20,625 --> 00:09:22,708
Hard work is calculating
neutrino properties

260
00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:24,083
to one percent accuracy.

261
00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:25,875
Anyone can wash bolts.

262
00:09:25,875 --> 00:09:27,500
You begged him for that job.

263
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,083
I assumed he'd realize
the value of my intellect

264
00:09:30,083 --> 00:09:31,708
and put it to good use.

265
00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:32,833
Hang on.

266
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,292
You made a commitment.

267
00:09:34,292 --> 00:09:36,583
When you say you're gonna
do something, you do it.

268
00:09:36,583 --> 00:09:38,417
Well, he could find
someone else.

269
00:09:38,417 --> 00:09:39,833
Doesn't matter.

270
00:09:39,833 --> 00:09:42,708
This is about you being
a man of your word.

271
00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:47,083
ADULT SHELDON:
I wanted to point out that
I couldn't be a man of my word,

272
00:09:47,083 --> 00:09:51,750
since I hadn't hit puberty,
but he seemed pretty grouchy.

273
00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:53,125
GEORGE JR.:
You know how you love

274
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:55,083
those Richard
Simmons tapes?

275
00:09:55,083 --> 00:09:57,042
Yeah.
Well,
what if I told you

276
00:09:57,042 --> 00:09:59,875
we have the next big thing

277
00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:02,250
in home fitness videos.

278
00:10:02,250 --> 00:10:05,958
Mm. And what kind of thing
would that be?

279
00:10:05,958 --> 00:10:08,375
"Cowboy aerobics."

280
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,958
(quietly):
Yee-haw.

281
00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:11,292
It's like, um,

282
00:10:11,292 --> 00:10:12,583
Sweatin' to the Oldies

283
00:10:12,583 --> 00:10:13,833
with a little bit
of Southern swagger.

284
00:10:13,833 --> 00:10:15,083
(imitates gunshots quietly)

285
00:10:15,083 --> 00:10:16,250
Cool, huh?

286
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,583
So, are y'all just

287
00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:20,500
trying to sell me
an aerobics tape?

288
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:21,708
No.

289
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:22,917
No, not at all.

290
00:10:22,917 --> 00:10:25,000
We want you to give us money
to make them.

291
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,417
"Invest."
He... he means invest.

292
00:10:27,417 --> 00:10:31,750
And who would be, uh,
starring in this video?

293
00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:32,833
Me.

294
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,958
(laughs) That's ridiculous.

295
00:10:34,958 --> 00:10:35,958
(chuckling)

296
00:10:35,958 --> 00:10:36,958
And Richard Simmons

297
00:10:36,958 --> 00:10:38,292
ain't ridiculous?

298
00:10:38,292 --> 00:10:40,375
Well, now,
the young man does have a point.

299
00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:41,500
Yeah, maybe on his head.

300
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:43,167
Look, you're not getting
my money.

301
00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:48,167
Well, you are passing a-a
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

302
00:10:48,167 --> 00:10:50,250
And how much lifetime
do you have left?

303
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,333
That's not helping.

304
00:10:53,792 --> 00:10:55,250
No.

305
00:10:57,875 --> 00:10:59,292
All right, fair enough.

306
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,708
Thank you for hearing us out.

307
00:11:01,708 --> 00:11:04,833
If you have a change of heart,
you let us know.

308
00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:06,292
Screw that.

309
00:11:06,292 --> 00:11:07,750
My whole life

310
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,000
I've seen you bet

311
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,417
on football games,

312
00:11:10,417 --> 00:11:13,208
throw away all kinds of money
at the track.

313
00:11:14,417 --> 00:11:15,875
If you want to gamble
on something,

314
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:18,375
why can't it be
on your own grandson?

315
00:11:20,167 --> 00:11:22,292
How much money you need?

316
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,292
Well, now, um...

317
00:11:25,292 --> 00:11:28,625
how much money did you bet
on football last year?

318
00:11:28,625 --> 00:11:31,375
(chuckles): Well,
you're not getting that much.

319
00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:33,833
(phone rings)
Hello?

320
00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:35,125
SHELDON:
Dr. Linkletter?

321
00:11:35,125 --> 00:11:36,583
(sighs) Sheldon Cooper.

322
00:11:36,583 --> 00:11:39,750
I'm calling to apologize.
I shouldn't have quit.

323
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:42,542
I made a commitment,
and I need to see it through.

324
00:11:42,542 --> 00:11:45,750
I appreciate that,
but there's no need.

325
00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:49,875
There is. It's important to me,
as well as my father.

326
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,750
Fine.
Excellent.

327
00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:53,958
Don't worry,
I won't overstep my bounds.

328
00:11:53,958 --> 00:11:56,500
I give you my word as a Texan.

329
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,500
Great.
And a man.

330
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,375
Very good.
Well, a future man.

331
00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:03,083
At present, my hormones
and body hair aren't exactly

332
00:12:03,083 --> 00:12:05,083
what you'd call...
Good night.

333
00:12:05,083 --> 00:12:06,583
(dial tone)
Hmm.

334
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,125
ADULT SHELDON:
The next day I returned

335
00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:17,875
to my role as lab assistant
with renewed vigor.

336
00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:19,167
Bolts were greased,

337
00:12:19,167 --> 00:12:20,917
wires were stripped,

338
00:12:20,917 --> 00:12:23,333
floors were swept,
all with a smile.

339
00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:24,833
It was a forced smile

340
00:12:24,833 --> 00:12:26,417
but you'd never know.

341
00:12:26,417 --> 00:12:28,500
I must say, Sheldon,
I'm impressed.

342
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,833
I gave you my word
and I'm standing by it.
Well,

343
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,500
I know it's not glamorous, but
all scientists pay their dues.

344
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:34,917
And I'm happy to do it.

345
00:12:34,917 --> 00:12:37,042
Good man.
I understand
my role here.

346
00:12:37,042 --> 00:12:39,000
In fact, I noticed a flaw
in your reaction rates,

347
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:42,000
but I kept it to myself
because I know my place.

348
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,333
You really think
there's a flaw?
Oh, yes.

349
00:12:44,333 --> 00:12:45,542
What is it?

350
00:12:45,542 --> 00:12:47,333
I appreciate you testing me,

351
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:48,583
but I'm not going to crack.

352
00:12:48,583 --> 00:12:50,042
I'm not testing you.

353
00:12:50,042 --> 00:12:51,708
Nice try.

354
00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:57,000
So, when are we gonna
shoot this thing?

355
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,458
Slow down, now.

356
00:12:58,458 --> 00:12:59,958
We've got to plan out.

357
00:12:59,958 --> 00:13:02,458
You know, costumes,
choreography, music.

358
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:04,167
Let's start with the set.

359
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:05,625
Now, I was thinking...

360
00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:07,375
an Oklahoma theme.

361
00:13:07,375 --> 00:13:08,917
Hay bales, saloon door,

362
00:13:08,917 --> 00:13:11,292
maybe a surrey
with a fringe on top.

363
00:13:11,292 --> 00:13:12,500
A what with a what?

364
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:13,917
Oh, you know.

365
00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:16,000
♪ Chicks and ducks
and geese better scurry ♪

366
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,500
♪ When I take you out
in my surrey ♪

367
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:19,833
♪ When I take you out ♪

368
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,250
♪ In my surrey
with the fringe... ♪

369
00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:23,417
Okay, forget Oklahoma.

370
00:13:23,417 --> 00:13:24,417
Done.

371
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,500
ADULT SHELDON: In an effort
to find out the mistake

372
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,167
in his experimental design,

373
00:13:29,167 --> 00:13:32,875
Dr. Linkletter performed
his own experiment on me.

374
00:13:32,875 --> 00:13:35,708
You know, Sheldon, I don't even
care if you tell me the error.

375
00:13:35,708 --> 00:13:38,042
In fact, I'd rather
you keep it to yourself.

376
00:13:38,042 --> 00:13:39,458
All right.

377
00:13:39,458 --> 00:13:41,458
(quietly):
Yeah.

378
00:13:42,542 --> 00:13:45,375
I got you a little something
for all your hard work.

379
00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:47,833
It's about a little boy
who doesn't let being dead

380
00:13:47,833 --> 00:13:50,000
stop him from having fun.

381
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,208
Thanks.

382
00:13:51,208 --> 00:13:53,542
(chuckles) Now that
I've given you something,

383
00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,083
perhaps you want
to reciprocate.

384
00:13:55,083 --> 00:13:58,583
Sure. You can have this.
I don't want it.

385
00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:02,000
(phone ringing)

386
00:14:06,625 --> 00:14:08,000
Hello?

387
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,958
LINKLETTER:
Uh, may I speak with Sheldon?

388
00:14:09,958 --> 00:14:12,667
It's the middle of the night.
Who the hell is this?

389
00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:14,167
Uh, wrong number.

390
00:14:15,375 --> 00:14:17,792
(dial tone)

391
00:14:17,792 --> 00:14:19,458
LUNDY:
All right.

392
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:22,083
(lively country music playing)
Let's try it again.

393
00:14:22,083 --> 00:14:24,625
♪ ♪

394
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,125
♪ Last night... ♪
(turns off music)

395
00:14:29,125 --> 00:14:33,375
I'm sorry, are-are we galloping,
or are we doing double Dutch?

396
00:14:33,375 --> 00:14:35,583
You got to get
your hips into it,

397
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,833
All right?

398
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:38,667
Yeah, you get your rope,
you get your hip.

399
00:14:38,667 --> 00:14:40,833
We can gallop up,
we can gallop back.

400
00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:42,667
We're lassoing
and galloping

401
00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:44,250
around the corral.
(knocking)

402
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,250
Excuse me.

403
00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:47,333
We need to talk.

404
00:14:47,333 --> 00:14:48,625
Can it wait?

405
00:14:48,625 --> 00:14:50,208
I'm trying to turn
your grandson here

406
00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:52,333
into the Richard Simmons
of the Wild West.

407
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:55,667
No, it can't. I took a look
at this contract you sent over.

408
00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:57,792
Oh, well, that's just
boilerplate legalese.

409
00:14:57,792 --> 00:14:59,375
I wouldn't even
read that.

410
00:14:59,375 --> 00:15:01,583
Too late.
I couldn't help but notice

411
00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:03,667
you're taking 80%
of the profits.

412
00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:05,500
Eighty percent?

413
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,000
Well, in case

414
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,458
no one has noticed,
I'm doing most of the work here.

415
00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:11,333
But it was all my idea.

416
00:15:11,333 --> 00:15:15,500
Your idea was lifting weights
in some dingy garage.

417
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:19,500
Cowboy aerobics was hatched
in this egg right here.

418
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:20,667
But it's my face.

419
00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:22,042
Any my money.

420
00:15:22,042 --> 00:15:23,792
And my apologies,

421
00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:26,458
but 20% is all you're getting.

422
00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:29,125
Unbelievable.

423
00:15:29,125 --> 00:15:30,042
Excuse me.

424
00:15:30,042 --> 00:15:32,167
I've done all the choreography.

425
00:15:32,167 --> 00:15:33,500
I designed the sets.

426
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,500
I-I made the costumes by hand.

427
00:15:35,500 --> 00:15:36,833
You think
you can find

428
00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:39,083
sequined chaps in a mall?

429
00:15:39,083 --> 00:15:40,333
No, you cannot.

430
00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:43,167
And they give you quite the look
when you ask.

431
00:15:43,958 --> 00:15:45,583
Come on,
let's get out of here.

432
00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:47,208
Oh, fine, go ahead.

433
00:15:47,208 --> 00:15:49,542
And we're gonna make our own
exercise video without you.

434
00:15:49,542 --> 00:15:51,000
No, we're not.

435
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:52,750
No, we're not!

436
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,792
And they call me dramatic.

437
00:15:56,792 --> 00:15:59,792
ADULT SHELDON:
The next day, Dr. Linkletter
ran his experiment.

438
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,708
I'm proud to say
I never broke my word,

439
00:16:02,708 --> 00:16:04,667
and he eventually
figured out the problem.

440
00:16:04,667 --> 00:16:06,167
(flames whooshing)
LINKLETTER: Fire!

441
00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:08,000
Fire!

442
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,167
Fire!

443
00:16:09,167 --> 00:16:11,708
Was it too much oxygen
in the reagents?

444
00:16:11,708 --> 00:16:14,500
See? You didn't need my help
after all.

445
00:16:21,542 --> 00:16:24,583
ADULT SHELDON:
Mr. Lundy was undeterred.
He sought out new investors

446
00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:27,708
and new talent to bring
cowboy aerobics to life.

447
00:16:27,708 --> 00:16:29,125
LUNDY:
You've got the look.

448
00:16:29,125 --> 00:16:31,125
(chuckles):
You've got the physique.

449
00:16:31,125 --> 00:16:34,625
If-if we could secure a star
of your caliber,

450
00:16:34,625 --> 00:16:37,417
it would really put us
on the map.

451
00:16:37,417 --> 00:16:40,042
I do look good in a cowboy hat.

452
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:42,458
You look good in everything.
(chuckles)

453
00:16:42,458 --> 00:16:44,333
Come on, Mr. Hasselhoff.

454
00:16:44,333 --> 00:16:45,625
Call me The Hoff.

455
00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:47,583
(chuckles):
Okay, The Hoff.

456
00:16:47,583 --> 00:16:49,250
So, what do you say?

457
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:53,208
Well, I've conquered
television, music.

458
00:16:53,208 --> 00:16:56,750
I don't see why I couldn't add
exercise videos

459
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,542
to my empire.

460
00:16:58,542 --> 00:17:00,125
So you'll do it?

461
00:17:00,125 --> 00:17:02,667
You got The Hoff!

462
00:17:02,667 --> 00:17:04,167
Hot damn! I got The Hoff!

463
00:17:04,167 --> 00:17:05,500
(both laugh)

464
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,042
By-by any chance,

465
00:17:07,042 --> 00:17:09,458
do you know
what size chaps you wear?

466
00:17:09,458 --> 00:17:11,708
Oh. I got my own.

467
00:17:12,542 --> 00:17:14,333
Of course you do.
(chuckles)

468
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:17,292
(whip cracks)
(lively country music playing)

469
00:17:17,292 --> 00:17:21,375
All right, buckaroos, it's time
for cowboy aerobics with...

470
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,208
David Hasselhoff!
David Hasselhoff!

471
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:26,667
Who's ready to rustle up
some muscles?

472
00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:29,667
(whooping)
Let's saddle up and ride.

473
00:17:29,667 --> 00:17:31,458
ADULT SHELDON:
Thanks to The Hoff,

474
00:17:31,458 --> 00:17:34,583
the video was
a smashing success.

475
00:17:34,583 --> 00:17:38,000
Who wants a beach body
like the ones on Baywatch?

476
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,792
Which I'm also in.
Check your local listings.

477
00:17:40,792 --> 00:17:42,042
(ricochet sound effect)

478
00:17:42,042 --> 00:17:43,167
ADULT SHELDON:
Unfortunately,

479
00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:45,000
Mr. Lundy put all his profits

480
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,333
into a musical about his life,
entitled:

481
00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:49,333
Live, Laugh, Lundy.

482
00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:50,667
He is poor to this day.